Ratatouille (2007)

Ian Holm: Skinner

Photos 

Quotes 

• Skinner : You know something about rats, you know you do!

  Linguini : You know who know, do, whacka-do. Ratta-tatta - Hey, why do they call it that?

  Skinner : What?

  Linguini : Ratatouille. It's like a stew, right? Why do they call it that? If you're gonna name a food, you should give it a name that sounds delicious. Ratatouille doesn't sound delicious. It sounds like "rat" and "patootie." Rat patootie! Which does not sound delicious.

  [holds out his glass for more wine] 

  Skinner : [growling]  Regrettably, we are all... out... of wine.

• Skinner : [on Linguini]  Look at him out there, pretending to be an idiot! He's toying with my mind like a cat with a ball... of something!

  Lawyer : String?

  Skinner : Yes! Playing dumb, taunting me with that RAT!

  Lawyer : [confused]  Rat?

  Skinner : Yes! He's consorting with it, deliberately trying to make me think it's important!

  Lawyer : The... rat?

  Skinner : EXACTLY!

  Lawyer : Is the rat important?

  Skinner : [pause]  Of course not! He just wants me to THINK that it is! O-ho, I see the theatricality of it! A rat appears on the boy's first night, I order him to kill it, and now he wants me to see it everywhere!

  Skinner : [high voice]  Ooooh! It's here! No it isn't it's here! Am I seeing things, am I crazy, is there a phantom rat or is there not, but oh, no! I refuse to be sucked into his little game... of...

  Lawyer : Should I be concerned about this? About you?

• Skinner : [interrogating Linguini after plying him with wine]  Have you ever had a pet rat?

  Linguini : No.

  Skinner : Did you work in a lab with rats?

  Linguini : Nooope.

  Skinner : Perhaps you lived in squalor at some point?

  Linguini : Nopity, nopity noo.

• Mustafa : [panicked]  Someone has asked what is new!

  Horst : New?

  Mustafa : Yes! What do I tell them?

  Horst : Well, what *did* you tell them?

  Mustafa : I told them I would ask!

  Skinner : What are you blathering about?

  Horst : Customers are asking what is new!

  Mustafa : What should I tell them?

  Skinner : What *did* you tell them?

  Mustafa : [exasperated]  I TOLD THEM I WOULD ASK!

  Skinner : This is simple. Just pull out an old Gusteau recipe, something we haven't made in a while...

  Mustafa : They know about the old stuff. They like Linguini's soup.

  Skinner : They are asking for food from LINGUINI?

• Lawyer : Well, the will stipulates that if after two years from the date of death, no heir appears, Gusteau's business will pass on to his sous-chef, you.

  Skinner : I know what the will stipulates! What I want to know, is if this letter - if this *boy* changes anything!

  [the lawyer looks at Linguini through the window, comparing it to Gusteau's picture on the wall] 

  Lawyer : There's not much resemblance.

  Skinner : There's NO resemblance at all! He's not Gusteau's son, Gusteau had no children! And what of the timing of all this? The deadline in the will expires in less than a month! Suddenly some boy arrives with a letter from his recently deceased mother claiming Gusteau is his father? Highly suspect!

  Lawyer : [about a chef's toque in a glass container]  ... This was Gusteau's?

  Skinner : Yes.

  Lawyer : May I?

  Skinner : Of course, of course.

  [the lawyer takes a hair out of the toque] 

  Lawyer : But, the boy does not know?

  Skinner : She claims she never told him, or Gusteau, and asks that I not tell!

  Lawyer : Why you? What does she want?

  Skinner : A job, for the boy.

  Lawyer : Only a job? Well, then this is easy. If he works here, you can keep an eye on him while I do a little digging, find out how much of this is real. I'll need you to collect some DNA samples from the boy, hair maybe...

  Skinner : Mark my words, the whole thing is *highly* suspect. He knows... something.

  Lawyer : Relax, he's a garbage boy. I think you can handle him.

• Skinner : [seeing a ladle in Linguini's hand]  You are COOKING? How DARE you cook in MY kitchen! Where do get the gall to attempt something so monumentally idiotic? I should have you drawn and quartered! I'll do it! I think the law is on my side! Larousse, draw and quarter this man! *After* you put him in the duck press to squeeze the fat out of his head!

  [as he's shouting, Lalo ladles some soup into a tureen and brings it to the waiter] 

  Linguini : Oh no no no, OH NO, don't let them, don't eat...

  Skinner : What are you blathering about?

  Linguini : ...the soup!

  Skinner : [sees the soup going out runs to stop it]  Soup? Stop that soup! Noooooooo!

  [bursts into the dining room to the stares of the diners, retreats back into the kitchen and watches through the window as the waiter serves the soup] 

  Solene LeClaire : [tasting the soup]  Waiter!

  Skinner : [gasps]  Linguini! You're fired! F-I-R-E-D! Fired!

  Mustafa : She wants to see the chef.

  Mustafa : [scared]  B-but he...

  [clears his throat and goes to speak to the customer; Colette tastes the soup; Skinner re-enters] 

  Colette : What did the customer say?

  Mustafa : It was not a customer. It was a critic.

  Colette : Ego?

  Skinner : Solene LeClaire.

  Colette : LeClaire. What did she say?

  Mustafa : She likes the soup.

• Skinner : Toasting your success, eh, Linguini? Good for you.

  Linguini : [indicating his wine glass]  Oh, I just took it to be polite. I don't really drink, you know.

  Skinner : Oh, of course you don't. I wouldn't either if I was drinking *that*. But you would have to be an idiot of elephantine proportions not to appreciate this '61 Château Latour, and you, Monsieur Linguini, are no idiot. Let us toast your non-idiocy!

• Larousse : Hey, boss, look who it is! Alfredo Linguini! Renata's little boy! All grown up, eh? You remember Renata. Gusteau's old flame?

  Skinner : Ah, yes. How are you, uh...

  Larousse : Linguini.

  Skinner : Yes, Linguini, so nice of you to visit. How is, uh...?

  Linguini : My mother?

  Skinner : Yes...

  Larousse : Renata.

  Skinner : Yes, Renata. How is she?

  Linguini : Good... well, not... good... She's been better. She's, uh... she...

  Horst : She died.

  Skinner : [attempting to care]  Oh, uh, I'm sorry.

  Linguini : Well, don't be. She believed in Heaven, so she's covered... you know, afterlife-wise? Uh...

  [clumsily gives Skinner a letter] 

  Skinner : What is this?

  Linguini : She left it for you. I think she hoped it would help... me. You know, get a job... Here?

• Skinner : Surely you don't expect me to believe this is your first time cooking?

  Linguini : It's not.

  Skinner : I KNEW IT!

  Linguini : It's my... second, third, fourth, fifth time. Monday was my first time. But I've taken out the garbage lots of times before that...

  Skinner : Yes, yes, yes, have some more wine.

• Skinner : [growling]  What are you playing at?

  Linguini : [uncertain]  Um, uh... am I still fired?

  Colette : You can't fire him.

  Skinner : What?

  Colette : LeClaire likes it, yeah? She made a point of telling you so. if she write a review to that effect and find out you fired the cook responsible?

  Skinner : He's a garbage boy.

  Colette : Who made something she liked! How can we claim to represent the name of Gusteau if we don't uphold his most cherished belief?

  Skinner : And what belief is that, Mademoiselle Tatou?

  Colette : Anyone can cook.

  [pause, Skinner looks around at the other cooks, who are smiling with approval] 

  Skinner : Perhaps I have been a bit harsh on our new garbage boy. He has taken a bold risk, and we should reward that, as Chef Gusteau would have. If he wishes to swim in dangerous waters, who are we to deny him?

• Skinner : And don't forget to stress its Linguini-ness.

  Horst : Oui, chef.

• Skinner : [to Linguini]  Welcome to Hell.

  Skinner : Now recreate the soup.

• Linguini : What should I do now?

  Skinner : Kill it!

  Linguini : Now?

  Skinner : No, not in the kitchen! Are you mad?

• Skinner : I will have whatever he is having.

• Skinner : The soup! Where is the soup? Out of my way. Move it, garbage boy!

  [sees a ladle in Linguini's hand] 

  Skinner : You are COOKING? How DARE you cook in MY kitchen! Where do you get the gall to even attempt something so monumentally idiotic? I should have you drawn and quartered! I'll do it! I think the law is on my side! Larousse, draw and quarter this man - after you put him in the duck press to squeeze the fat out of his head!

• Skinner : [to Linguini]  You are either very lucky or very unlucky. You will make the soup again, and this time I'll be paying attention. Very close attention. They think you might be a cook. But you know what I think, Linguini? I think you're a sneaky, overreaching little...

  Skinner : [sees Remy escaping]  RAAAT!

• Skinner : [to Linguini]  Got your toque!

• Skinner : I want you to work up something for my latest frozen food concept: Gusteau's Corn Puppies. They're like corn dogs, only smaller. Bite size.

  Francois : What are corn dogs?

  Skinner : Cheap sausages dipped in batter and deep fried. You know, American. Whip something up. Maybe Gusteau in overalls and Huckleberry Tom hat.

  Francois : Or as a big ear of corn in doggie make-up.

  Skinner : Y-yes. But, please, with dignity.

• Lawyer : What are you so worried about? Isn't it good to have the press? Isn't it good to have Gusteau's name getting headlines?

  Skinner : Not if they're over his face! Gusteau's already has a face, and it's fat and lovable and familiar. And it sells burritos! Millions and millions of burritos!

• Skinner : [to Linguini]  Do you know what would happen if anyone knew we had a rat in our kitchen? They'd close us down. Our reputation is hanging as a thread as it is. Take it away from here. Far away. Kill it. Dispose of it. Go!

• Colette : Table five coming up right now.

  Skinner : Coming down the line.

  Colette : Set. Hot. Open oven.

  Skinner : Coming around.

  Colette : Oui, chef. One filet mignon, three lamb, two duck.

  Skinner : Fire those soufflés for table six, ja?

  Colette : Five minutes, chef.

  Remy : Oh, God.

  Mustafa : Tonight, I'd like to present the foie gras. It has a wonderful finish.

  Skinner : Ready to go on table seven. Come on! Let's go!

  Colette : Oui, chef.

• Skinner : [to Collette]  Since you have expressed such an interest in his cooking career, you shall be responsible for it. Anyone else? Then back to work!

• Skinner : Get the rat! Linguini. Get something to trap it.

  Horst : It's getting away. Get it, get it, get it.

• Skinner : [to Linguini]  Collette will be responsible with teaching you how we do things here.