Queer as Folk (2000–2005)
Hal Sparks: Michael Novotny
Photos
Quotes
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[about Justin leaving]
Brian : You infected him, with your petty, bourgois, mediocre, conformist, assimilationist life! Thanks to you he's got visions - babies, weddings, white picket fences - dancing in his blond little head.
Michael : And you think *I* put them there?
Brian : Before you and your husband tied the noose around your necks he was perfectly happy! But now, he's a defector, just like the rest of you!
Michael : He was never perfectly happy! Waiting for years for you to say "I love you, you're the only one I want."
Brian : That's *not* who I am!
Michael : Don't we all know!
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Michael : [to Justin, about Brian] If you ask me, he's been pretty good to you. He saved your life, he took you in, he's putting you through school, he protects you, he looks after you... And whether you believe it or not, he loves you, more than he's ever loved anyone.
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Michael : He's a selfish little shit.
Brian Kinney : Be quiet, Michael.
Michael : He used you, and he took from you, and he never gave back a thing.
Brian Kinney : I said be quiet!
Michael : And this is thanks you get for saving his life. If you ask me, it wasn't worth it, you might as well have just left him lying there...
Brian Kinney : [punches Michael in the face]
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Brian : We're queer. We don't need marriage. We don't need the sanction of dickless politicians and pederast priests. We fuck who we want to, when we want to. That is our God-given right.
Michael : But it is also our God-given right to have everything that straight people have. Because we're every bit as much human as they are.
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[Michael and Hunter argue about Hunter's 'job' as a hustler]
Michael Charles Novotny : This guy could have killed you.
Hunter : They all could.
Michael Charles Novotny : Well, if you know that why do you do it?
Hunter : I have low self-esteem. I was sexualized at too early an age. It's exciting, fun, and a great way to make non-reportable income.
Michael Charles Novotny : I would like an honest answer, smart-ass.
Brian Kinney : He just gave you one.
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Brian : Do you know what I remember from high school?
Michael : That time in Biology when you beat off in a test tube and tried to call it your science experiment?
Brian : Food. There was always lots of food at your house.
Michael : Well, that's an Italian thing. And there was always lots of booze at your house.
Brian : That's an Irish thing.
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Brian : When did you change?
Michael : What?
Brian : When did you become this pious, sanctimonious, judgmental twit?
Michael : The point is not when did I change, the point is why haven't you? When are you gonna stop being some over-the-hill club boy and grow up?
Brian : Oh, so now I'm the object of your disapproval, too. You and the Nutty Professor get married, in fucking Canada! You move to Stepford Avenue with all the other ersatz heterosexuals, and suddenly that gives you the right to make pronouncements on everybody else's life? Well, welcome to the other side of your perfect marriage, Mikey. It's called gay divorce. Fags and dykes can fuck up their lives just like the rest of the world.
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Michael Charles Novotny : I don't know how you do it, working all day, fucking all night.
Brian Kinney : Well they say in the vast emptiness of space, the faster you move, the slower you age. I have to believe the same holds true for Pittsburgh. You care to join me?
Michael Charles Novotny : You'll have to stay forever young without me.
Brian Kinney : I understand, you're in a committed relationship with your, what is that hideous expression? Significant other? Loser.
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Michael : You'll always be young. You'll always be beautiful. You're Brian Kinney, for fuck's sake!
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Brian Kinney : I'm suing the motherfucker.
Michael : Take it easy, Brian.
Brian Kinney : He said I was thirty-one!... I'm thirty.
Justin : Is that all you care about? He practically called you a child molester.
Brian Kinney : And who should know, better than... you.
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Michael : He wants me to be honest, to tell him what I really think.
Brian Kinney : And what do you really think?
Michael : It was kinda boring.
Brian Kinney : Kinda like him? He's your partner, Mikey. You gotta sit him down, take his hand and tell him "Honey, it's a steaming pile of horseshit."
Michael : Could you say that to Justin?
Brian Kinney : Yeah. Fortunately... he's a genius.
Michael : You are so helpful.
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Michael Charles Novotny : You fucked a murderer?
Hunter : What's the big deal? I used a condom.
Brian Kinney : [to Michael] Well, your safe sex lecture paid off.
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[at Brian's stag party]
Michael : Can I have your attention, please? I would like to offer a toast to the memory of Brian Kinney. Out-going, friendly, some would say to a fault, he never met a man he didn't like.
Ben : In his younger days, Brian dreamed of being a lawyer. He said, "I want to get innocent men off. I'll go to any length to get to the bottom of things."
Emmett : Later on in life, he devoted himself to volunteer work. It's true. If he heard that someone was laid up, or flat on his back, he'd come time and time again until they felt better.
Michael : So, now that he's gone, I'm sure that there's not a man in this room who wouldn't agree that he has left a hole that can never be filled. Here's to Brian!
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Ben : Instead of being our foster son, we'd like you to be our real son. That is, if you'd like us to be your fathers.
Hunter : You mean, you wanna adopt me?
Michael : As soon as possible, in case Prop 14 passes.
[Hunter begins writing in his journal, talking aloud]
Hunter : Today Michael and Ben asked me to be their son... I said yes.
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Justin : I fucked him so hard my dick's gonna be sore for a week.
Brian Kinney : I don't wanna hear about it.
Michael : Actually, I wanna hear more...
Ted : Speak slowly and enunciate...
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[talking about Hunter leaving]
Michael : He was determined to leave so he left. There wasn't anything we could've done to stop him. Why are you beating yourself up over it?
Ben : Because he was my blood. You still have a healthy baby daughter, Michael. She'll be loved, sent to a good school, raised in a world where she'll have every chance, every opportunity. Not like Hunter who had nothing. Less than nothing. I wanted to give him all those things he never had.
Michael : So did I
Ben : But I failed.
Michael : You didn't fail.
Ben : Yes I did. I did fail.
Michael : We gave him a home, everything we could of ourselves to make him part of our family.
Ben : Then why isn't he still here?
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Michael : She hit me. My mother fucking hit me!
Ted : She's always hitting you.
Brian Kinney : That's how she shows her affection.
Michael : I mean for real.
Brian Kinney : Well, what did Mikey do?
Michael : I told her she was pathetic for dating that fag-hating cop.
Ted : You know, if she keeps this up, we're going to have to take her honorary queer button away.
Michael : Where are her values? Her principles?
Brian Kinney : You know how it is when you want cock. They're the first things to go.
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Michael : You have anything to say?
Brian Kinney : No.
Michael : Well I do. You can fuck him at your place, you can fuck him in his gym class, you can fuck him at the zoo - but you can NOT fuck him in my mother's house! In my room!
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Michael : This is where it all began...
Brian : ...and ended.
Michael : But it's who we are. It's what made us.
Brian : Didn't you say that this was all just a cheap illusion? That outside life goes on and in here nothing ever changes?
Michael : I did say that, yes, but that was before I realized that some things aren't meant to change. Dance with me.
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[giving his speech at the Committee for Human Rights]
Michael : It's an honor to stand here today, considering a few weeks ago the doctors weren't sure I was going to make it. But I was one of the lucky ones. I'm here. And as terrifying as it was, I'd be there again to defeat a bill that would deny rights to Americans just because they're gay. I have a loving partner, two wonderful kids, a home, a small business. The truth is, I'm just like you.
[puts away prepared speech and speaks from the heart]
Michael : Actually, that's not the truth. Sure, in a lot of ways, I am just like you. I wanna be happy, I want some security, a little extra money in my pocket, but in many ways, my life is nothing like yours. Why should it be? Do we all have to have the same lives to have the same rights? I thought that diversity was what this country was all about. In the gay community, we have drag queens, leather daddies, trannies, and couples with children - every color of the rainbow. My mother's standing way in the back with some friends. My friends. She once told me that people are like snowflakes; every one special and unique... and in the morning you have to shovel 'em off the driveway. But being different is what makes us all the same. It's what makes us family.
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Tracy : Whether you're gay or you're straight, I thought we were friends.
Michael : We are.
Tracy : Well, friends trust each other. What did you think would happen if you told me? That I'd tell everyone at the store? I wouldn't have, Mike. Don't you know that?
Michael : I should've. But when you spend your entire life keeping it a secret, who you really are, you learn to stop trusting people and it becomes second nature.
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Michael : I want you to know what you're doing really sucks.
Brian : Oh Christ, not you too. Look, Stockwell's just stirring shit up. Once he gets elected this will all blow over.
Michael : You think it's going to blow over for Ted?
Brian : Um, Ted fucked up. That's not my problem.
Michael : Mom's right, you don't care about anyone but yourself.
Brian : Well if I don't who will, you know? Stockwell and his supporters are my first class ticket out of this second-rate, second-class Burg.
Michael : What about about your 'second-rate' friends?
Brian : When I'm on the 99th floor of my new office in New York, this will all seem like a distant memory.
Michael : Fine. Go.
[starts to leave]
Michael : Take Justin with you.
Brian : Wait, you didn't let me finish. It'll all seem like a distant memory except for you. Because no matter where I go or who I'm with. I'll always love you.
Michael : Bullshit.
Brian : It's not bullshit.
[He kisses Michael on the forehead]
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Brian Kinney : Remember last Christmas when I came to pick you up and you were setting up for Santa's Workshop?
Michael : Not Santa, don't tell me you fucked Santa!
Brian Kinney : Even I wouldn't do that - I'm not into fat. His elf.
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Michael : ...in ways that maybe no one intended, those superheroes were a lot like me. At work they're meek, underappreciated... they're the guys that never get laid. And when they're around other people, they can never let anyone get too close for fear that their true identities will be discovered.
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Michael : [about the casting of the lead character of his comic book] Well, I heard straight actors won't take gay roles.
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[looking at Melanie's ultra-sound]
Michael : Holy shit! Would you check out the dick on this kid?
Lindsay : That's the umbilical cord.
Melanie : Besides, you can't tell from this if it's a boy or girl. Although something tells me a princess is on the way.
Michael : Well, it's Ok with me if he's gay.
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Michael : Your loyalty to Lindsay means more than our friendship?
Brian Kinney : Don't make this about us, Michael.
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Brian Kinney : 'Hey hey ho ho homophobia's got to go.' Gimme a fucking break.
Michael : So I take it you're not going?
Brian Kinney : Hell no, I won't go.
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Michael : Rather than missing what used to be, I look forward to what's yet to be.
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Michael : If God wanted me on ice, he would have made me a vodka martini.
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Brian Kinney : You know, he's a first. The first almost dead guy I sort of had sex with.
Michael : You had sex with Ted?
Emmett : You never had sex with Ted.
Michael : When did you have sex with...
Brian Kinney : Sort of sex. At this semi-orgy.
