The Beverly Hillbillies (1993)

Diedrich Bader: Jethro Bodine, Jethrine Bodine

Photos 

Quotes 

• Elly May : Why do you reckon they got two sets of stairs?

  Jethro : Shoot, that's easy! One's for going up, the other's for going down!

  Elly May : [thinks for a minute]  Oh.

• [on the subject of California] 

  Elly May : I hear they got smog.

  Daisy Mae 'Granny' Moses : What's a smog?

  [pause] 

  Jethro : I reckon it's a small hog.

• Milburn Drysdale : Well, son... what do you do?

  Jethro : Don't know, what do YOU do?

  Milburn Drysdale : Well, I'm just... president of a bank.

  Jethro : Wow! Uncle Jed, can I be president too?

  Jed Clampett : Now Jethro, that's a mighty disrespectful thing to say to Mr. Drysdale.

  Milburn Drysdale : Aw...

  Jed Clampett : [beat]  Ask him if you can be vice president!

• Aunt Pearl : [riding with Jethro to Jed's cabin]  Jethro?

  Jethro : [driving]  Yes, Momma?

  Aunt Pearl : Did you take care of those old bare-as-bones brakes like I told you?

  Jethro : 'Course. I pulled them off yesterday!

  [beat] 

  Jethro : The new ones are comin' in the mail next week!

• Guy in Jeep : Hey! Nice wheels, buddy!

  [flips off the Clampetts] 

  Jed Clampett : Jethro, what do you reckon that feller's pointin' at us?

  Jethro : I reckon that's the way they wave howdy in Californy!

• [Jethro is about to drive past a tree with a branch] 

  Jethro : Watch your head, Granny!

  [Granny, who is tied up to her rocking chair got knocked off from Jethro's car by the tree branch they passed through] 

• [Trying to figure out the game of Bowling] 

  Jethro : I think I got this game figured out. You throw the ball down this gully. Then you throw yourself down the other gully, and try to hit them snake-hittin' clubs before the ball does.

• Jethro : [looking over buffet during Jed's birthday party]  What's all this?

  Waiter : Sushi, calamari, caviar.

  Jethro : What? Speak American!

• Laura Jackson : What a stupid idiot.

  Jed Clampett : Did you say something, ma'am?

  Laura Jackson : What a stupendous intellect.

  Jethro : That's cause I "grad-ge-ated" the sixth grade, ma'am. Only took three years.

• Aunt Pearl : You folks oughta move yourselves to a place like... Beverly Hills, Californy.

  Jethro : They got swimming pools and movie stars!

• Jethro : [discussing his theory on bowling]  I've finally figured this game out, Spanky. You take this ball, put it in this here gully. It rolls down yonder, then you hurl yourself down this slippery gully, and see how many of them there snake bashing clubs you can knock down before the ball gets there.