Comedy was the key to everything. I grew up fast and controlled my future by bringing it on faster than it naturally unfolded. I cheated myself out of a childhood but then got a running headstart into adulthood that no one else could keep up with.Margaret Cho
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I can't drag myself away from 'Final Cut Pro.' It is a digital video editing system. I am obsessed with it, but I am always away from home, and I can't use it.Margaret Cho
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Maybe I wanted to hear it so badly that my ears betrayed my mind in order to secure my heart.Margaret Cho
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Just because you are blind and unable to see my beauty doesn't mean it does not exist.Margaret Cho
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I have 3 dogs myself - I actually have a kennel license in order to do so. I love them so much I couldn't imagine my life without them.Margaret Cho
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Tattooing is my social life, too, so most of my time is taken up with that. People like Henry Lewis, Mike Davis at Everlasting Tattoo.Margaret Cho
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Privacy and security are those things you give up when you show the world what makes you extraordinary.Margaret Cho
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Some people are that - more than a parent, more than a role model, more than anything less than a religion.Margaret Cho
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I can never tell when something is funny. I just have to do it onstage and find out.Margaret Cho
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I don't really know what 'selling out' is exactly. I would sell out if I could, but nobody's buying it. I would love to go mainstream, but my comedy is too edgy. It's always too dirty. It's always too filthy. I'm dying to sell out. But I love doing comedy, I love touring, and I think I would do everything for free.Margaret Cho
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I think the best way to get over your body issues is to just flaunt your body at every opportunity.Margaret Cho
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I have learned to love that which is meant to harm me, so that I can stand in the way of those who are less strong. I can take the bullets for those who aren't able to.Margaret Cho
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I think self-deprecation is such a disease, and I want to cure everybody of it and so that's my contribution.Margaret Cho
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Sometimes the only way to deal with horrific things in life is through a dark sense of humor.Margaret Cho
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My mother goes crazy over babies. Some people just do. They love 'em! I never have. Babies scare me more than anything. They're tiny and fragile and impressionable - and someone else's! As much as I hate borrowing stuff, that is how much I hate holding other people's babies. It's too much responsibility.Margaret Cho
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My history in show business spans over a quarter of a century, and I have seen many people in the industry struggle with coming out, only to find much more success after they finally did.Margaret Cho
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One place that I really feel comfortable is being a comedienne. I'm very socially inept. There's so many things that I can not do in life, and this is, like, the one thing that I have mastery over. It's my world. And anybody who's coming to the show, it's like they're coming because they know that this is my world.Margaret Cho
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I didn't appreciate the young woman that I was, or my young beauty, because I was so obsessed with the fact that I felt fat. It's never good to add to anybody else's suffering. It's an important topic to really get the gravity and the importance of - dealing with dignity.Margaret Cho
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Interventions are really emotionally exhausting and I would never ever want to have one. In the same way, I would never want to have a surprise birthday party. That would be horrible.Margaret Cho
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I was raised to be self-conscious about weight. Then as I got older and started doing television, it became a career issue, like, 'You have to lose weight or you'll lose that job.'Margaret Cho
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I thought I was so ugly for so long, and I wasted so much of my life on this dumb notion.Margaret Cho
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I mean, what's great about touring is that's what you do. You're in a constant state of motion and then you stop to do a show and you move onto the next city. All you have to do is do the show. That's the only responsibility that you have.Margaret Cho
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To start telling people that you're beautiful, or just feel beautiful, just start acting like you are the most beautiful woman in the world. And it really improves everything! Because your sort of psyche responds to it - like this is truthful!Margaret Cho
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My parents are very funny when they have to deal with anything racy or off-color. They usually pretend they don't speak English.Margaret Cho
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Snooki is really beautiful and looks quite like Elizabeth Taylor in 'Cleopatra.' She has the same bone structure. I'm kind of obsessed with 'Jersey Shore.' People don't give them enough credit for how entertaining they are.Margaret Cho
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I'm lucky that I have good genetics. Like you said, it just gets better as I get older.Margaret Cho
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People are really terrified of me. I don't know why, I'm very nice, but people are very intimidated by me.Margaret Cho
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Ugly. Is irrelevant. It is an immeasurable insult to a woman, and then supposedly the worst crime you can commit as a woman. But ugly, as beautiful, is an illusion.Margaret Cho
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I get up around 7 a.m. That's very early for a stand-up comic. Then I'll have breakfast with my husband, the artist Al Ridenour, take my three dogs for a walk and commence with my work.Margaret Cho
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When you feel powerful, you are willing to stand up for your rights, you are willing to stand up for what you believe in, you're more willing to stand up and be counted.Margaret Cho
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The stuff I do and say onstage I can do easily. As a performer, that comes easily. But being social offstage, it's not easy for me.Margaret Cho
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I have a box of awards in the closet. I think it is weird to put them out. I might if I had an Emmy or Oscar, but I don't.Margaret Cho
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I really love Steve Martin and all the stuff he did in the '70s. I think it's really great.Margaret Cho
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Try to love someone who you want to hate, because they are just like you, somewhere inside, in a way you may never expect, in a way that resounds so deeply within you that you cannot believe it.Margaret Cho
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I'm taking a lot of my favorite artists, different people, my favorite music and marrying that with what I do as a comic. It's very collaborative, arty, fun and cool.Margaret Cho
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I'm writing a record of comedy songs. I'm doing all these collaborations with artists. I bring them lyrics and they write the music to it.Margaret Cho
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Thankfully, beauty is easier to remove than apply, and a swipe of demaquillage in the right direction and you are you once again.Margaret Cho
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I went to a performance-art high school, and a teacher there was signing me up for open-mic nights at the comedy club. I think about it now, and I think, 'Well, that may be inappropriate,' but it was great!'Margaret Cho
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I do love the road, because for me, the road is very comfortable, and it's very much what I've always wanted to do. It's one of the most appealing things about comedy for me, so I do really have an affection for it.Margaret Cho
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Being called ugly and fat and disgusting to look at from the time I could barely understand what the words meant has scarred me so deep inside that I have learned to hunt, stalk, claim, own and defend my own loveliness.Margaret Cho
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It's very hard for a woman in comedy. It's hard for women to be bold and not care what anyone, particularly men, think. Maybe that is why so many women comics are lesbians.Margaret Cho
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It's good to be able to laugh at yourself and the problems you face in life. Sense of humor can save you.Margaret Cho
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It is tragic that people who are incarcerated are unable to vote. They are probably the most important voices to listen to because they can tell us what we need to change.Margaret Cho
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