Humour

Here's What's Missing

During this holiday season, perhaps you want to come up with an expensive and long list of items that will make your life complete and also get other people to pay for them. I am so pure of heart, that I only want to see the sum of knowledge expanded and perfected. So my short list contains:

  • newest and most expensive laptop ever made with 10 USB ports and a CD player
  • dictation software
  • a manual on using AWB
  • but most of all I want to see these new Wikipedias appear in the Wikimedia Incubator.
Welcome to the Furbish Wikipedia
the free encyclopedia that any electronic robot toy can edit.
We now have 4 draft pages in an English-fabricated creole.
  • Sewing costumes
  • Furbithon
  • Etiquette
  • Party like a Furby
  • Dictionary
  • Glossary
  • Fur
  • All portals

Furbish only consists of a few verbal swatches but if you use really hard and complicated arithmetic you will understand that there are a billion possible combination of these simple Furbish phrases. The potential for creating complicated literary works is certainly possible. The total lexicon follows:

  • wee-tah-kah-loo-loo: Tell me a joke.
  • wee-tah-kah-wee-loo: Tell me a story.
  • wee-tee-kah-wah-tee: Sing me a song.
  • u-nye-loo-lay-doo?: Do you want to play?
  • u-nye-ay-tay-doo?: Are you hungry?
  • u-nye-boh-doo?: How are you?
  • u-nye-way-loh-nee-way: Go to sleep now.
  • u-nye-noh-lah: Show me a dance.
  • doo?: What? (Furbies say this when called)
  • doo-d: Yes. (Furbies say this in response to a command before doing it)
  • boo: No. (Furbies say this when they do not want to carry out a command)
  • yoo?: Why will you not play with me today? (This usually means the Furby is upset)

Newsflash - as this article was going to press, I was encouraged to find that the Furbies have their own Wikipedia called WikiFur.

Welcome to the Klingon Wikipedia
the free encyclopedia any warrior can edit.
We now have 100 draft pages
Play find the Klingon

Klingon Wikipedia In 2005 the Klingon Wikipedia was a reality (it was moved to Wikia in 2006), and a written character from that language was even included in the famous puzzle-piece Wikipedia logo. But since you only want to learn enough Klingon to order a bottle of water you can begin your studies here:

jIyajbe’. - Do you speak Klingon?
Dochvetlh vISoplaHbe’. - I don’t understand.
bIlughbe’. - I can’t eat that thing.
bortaS bIr jablu’DI’ reH QaQqu’ nay’. - You are wrong.
jIl moH ghajjaj jaghHomlIj. - Revenge is a dish best served cold. (lit: When cold revenge is served, the dish is always very good)
romuluSngan Hol yIjatlh. He’So’ QIchlIj. - May your rival have an ugly neighbor.
mo’Dajvo’ pa’wIjDaq je narghpu’ He’So’bogh SajlIj. - If I use spit (mouth water) to clean your father’s honor, I only dirty the spit.
qajunpaQHeylIjmo’ batlh DuSuvqang charghwI’ ’It. - Your stinking pet has escaped from its cage and appeared in my quarters.
nobwI’’a’pu’qoqvam’e’ nuHegh’eghrupqa’moHlaHbe’law’lI’neS SeH’eghtaHghach’a’na’chajmo’. - Because of your apparent audacity the depressed conqueror is willing to fight you.
be’HomDu’na’wIjtIq’a’Du’na’vaD ghureghqangqa’moHlaHqu’be’taH’a’ Somraw’a’meyna’wIj’e’? - The so-called great benefactors are seemingly unable to cause us to prepare to resume honorable suicide (in progress) due to their definite self control.
Welcome to Porkypedia
the free encyclopedia that cartoon pigs can edit.
We now have 4 draft pages in an English-fabricated creole.
  • Famous swine
  • Sow biographies
  • Bugs
  • Daffy
  • Foghorn
  • Elmer
  • Voice acting
  • Recipes
  • All portals
"Son of a bi-bi-, son of a bi-bi-bi-... public domain!"

Porky Pedia This w-w-w-w-w-wikipedia has its beginning with a cartoon character who was so excited he could barely get out his words. Here are the few phrases that are documented: "Th-th-th-that's all folks!" and "What's guh-guh-guh-guh—...what's happening?" "Oh, son of a bi-bi-, son of a bi-bi-, son of a bi-bi-bi-... gun!"

To Yodapedia, Welcome
the free encyclopedia that Jedi masters can edit.
We now have 4 draft pages in an English-fabricated creole.
  • Evil Arts
  • Biography stubs
  • Map of the Galaxy
  • "A long time ago..."
  • Deathstar plans
  • Smuggling
  • Wookies
  • Jedi Training
  • All portals
That's no moon, that's a ... oh, darn.

Yodapedia The language of Stars Wars' most beloved character (who began his career as a puppet and later morphed into a CGI personality), is a form of another linguistic language based upon anastrophe. The speech patterns of Yodish have been analyzed and discussed by academic syntacticians, who found it somewhat inconsistent, but could extrapolate that it has Object–subject–verb word order.

Elcome-way to Ig-pay atin-lay
Ickipedia-way
the free encyclopedia-ay at-thay anyone an-cay edit
We now have 4 draft pages in an English-fabricated creole.

Pig Latin It is certainly feasible to build a bot (the Swedes did it, don't you know) to translate all Wikipedia articles into Pig Latin. You know that nothing brings more joy to a sixth-grader than being fluent in Pig Latin. But after about ten minutes of listening to the child speaking this language you'll eventually get a migraine. Yet mastery has its perks because nothing will earn you more respect with the Kiddies that to throw some Pig Latin around the house. Parents sometimes resort to this language in desperation when they don't want the three-year old to know that he or she is going to get a shot at the pediatrician's office that day. English vulgarities lose their punch when translated into Pig Latin.

If-fay ou-yay an-kay ead-ray is-they, en-thay onsider-kay ourself-yay ooent-flay in-nay Ig-pay Atin-lay. If-fay anyone-ay wants-way to-tay leave-lay a message-may below-bay in-nay any-ay of-ay ese-thay afore-ay mentioned-may new-nay anguage-lay Ikipedias-way, av-hay a goh-gay.

Attribution: Some content was cut and pasted from articles related to the above topics. Those other editors did the real work.