Dear Annie: I have had one of my friends since our freshman year of high school, and I have always considered her more of a sister than a friend. We have been through ups and downs and have always been there for each other. We have lived in separate cities since high school, but I recently moved to the same city she has lived in for the last couple of years. We now live within 10 minutes of each other, and I thought it would be great.
Well, was I wrong! She has never had a boyfriend, but she met this boy a couple of months ago who ended up moving in with her before they became officially boyfriend and girlfriend. I was so happy for her because she seemed so happy. But ever since she met him, I’ve felt like I’m always her second choice and she never has time for me. Even when I ask the simplest things, like, “Hey, you are in my neighborhood on a walk, why don’t you stop by?” she flat out says no. I feel like she has drastically changed for the worse.
I understand that things change when people meet their significant others, but that shouldn’t completely get in the way of a friendship that has been a thing for 10-plus years. Am I being overdramatic? Or overthinking this? I feel like I’ve lost a sister to a person who may not be around for the long run, and I can’t keep hanging on, feeling like I’m her second choice, that she doesn’t have time for me or like it’s a problem for her to want to hang out with me. -- A Concerned and Sad Friend
Dear Concerned and Sad Friend: A friendship of this nature can handle a serious conversation. Be direct with your friend about how much you’ve missed her. Lost in her first love, she might not realize her newfound relationship has an indirect impact on her friendships.
In addition to spending time with her one-on-one, ask to join the two of them for a meal or an outing. If he’s this important to her and she’s, of course, important to you, it’s worth making the effort and getting to know all there is to love about her new beau.
Stories by Annie Lane
- Dear Annie: Here’s how forgetting to wash my hands ruined my entire relationship with my aunt
- Dear Annie: Fooled twice by the same man keeping the same secret; shame on me, or him?
- Dear Annie: Years ago, my sister-in-law assaulted me in front of the family; do I need to let it go?
- Dear Annie: Son is challenging, I know; grandparents playing favorites with sister makes it worse
- Dear Annie: Father of my child has a porn habit, but is our relationship even worth fighting for?
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].
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