Existential Therapy

Probing the nature of being human

 Rollo May
 Born April 21, 1909, in Ada, Ohio. (died in 1994)
 Childhood was not particularly pleasant
 His parents didn’t get along and eventually divorced
 His sister had a psychotic breakdown

 Went to Michigan State (asked to leave because of involvement with a radical

student magazine). Received B.A. from Oberlin College in Ohio.
 After graduation, went to Greece
 Taught English at Anatolia College for three years
 Worked as an itinerant artist
 Studied briefly with Alfred Adler
 Returned to U.S. and entered Seminary (received B.D. in 1938)
 Suffered from tuberculosis (spent three years in a sanatorium). Facing the
possibility of death was probably the turning point of his life
 Studied psychoanalysis at White Institute. Met Harry Stack Sullivan, Erich Fromm.
 Went to Columbia University in New York, where in 1949 he received the first PhD
in clinical psychology that institution ever awarded.
 Taught at a variety of top schools. In 1958, he edited the book Existence, which
introduced existential psychology to the U.S.
 Existential Theory
 Based in philosophy (inspired by the writings of Nietzsche,
Kierkegaard, Heidegger, Sartre, Jaspers, & Buber)
“How did I get into the world? Why was I not asked about it, why was I not
informed of the rules and regulations but just thrust into the ranks as if I had
been bought by a peddling shanghaier of human beings? How did I get
involved in this big enterprise called actuality? Why should I be involved? Isn't
it a matter of choice? And if I am compelled to be involved, where is the
manager—I have something to say about this. Is there no manager? To whom
shall I make my complaint?” (Kierkegaard's literary character Young Man
in Repetition, 1843)

 Helps people examine issues of personal meaning

"Now it is no longer a matter of deciding what to do, but of deciding how to
decide." (May, Love and Will, 1969).

 Less about theory and more about offering perspective on

the human condition
Basic Assumptions of Existential Therapy

 The Primacy of Experience: Every individual is unique

 Isolation: We are born alone and die alone.
 Personal Meaning: What is the purpose for living?
 How we live our life (being-in-the-world)
 Do we visit all the rooms in our house?

 Self Awareness: Live in the here and now

 Basic Assumptions (free choice)
 Free Choice: People can choose what they become
 Freedom: People have fear of freedom because with freedom
comes choice and the possibility of choosing poorly (responsibility)

Basic Assumptions (responsibility)

 Responsibility: We are responsible for our own lives


Genes and environment are important. They are just not deterministic

Many individuals, at some point, struggle with accepting this
responsibility and, therefore, deny or limit their own freedom

Sartre: “Statements of bad faith”; inauthentic to assume that our
existence is controlled by forces external to ourselves
 Displace responsibility onto others (“My boss made me work late”)
 Think of self as helpless victim of circumstances (racism)
 Attribute behavior to unconscious drives (“I’d never do something like that”)
 Absolve themselves of responsibility by a sort of temporary insanity
(“It was the beer talking”)


Viktor Frankl (1978): The Statue of Liberty on the East
coast should be complemented by a
Statue of Responsibility on the West coast.
Existential Principles (Rollo May)
 Wish: To be in touch with what one really wants
 Indecisiveness
 Impulsivity?
 Will: To organize oneself in order to achieve one’s goals
(roughly “ego”) or “the ability to make wishes come true.”
 Neo-puritan: All will, but no love. Amazing self-discipline, can “make
things happen”... but no wishes to act upon. So they become “anal”
and perfectionistic, but empty and “dried-up.” (archetype?)
 Infantile: All wishes but no will. Filled with dreams and desires, lack
self-discipline to make anything of their dreams and desires, and so
become dependent and conformist. They love, but their love means
little. (archetype?)
 Creative: A balance of these two: “Man’s task is to unite love and
will.”
 The impact of anxiety and fear
 How are our lives safer because of fear?
 Fear and anxiety are signals of problems
 They help us recognize the problem
 They motivate us to cope with the problem
 Normal anxiety is good

 How are our lives poorer because of fear?

 Avoid responsibility for our acts
 Avoid recognizing we have choices
 Avoid anxiety and play it safe
 Avoid real intimacy
 Stay busy so we don’t become aware of our fundamental aloneness
 Stay busy so we don’t become aware of the finiteness of life
Anxiety and fear (continued)
 Neurotic anxiety is not good.
Choices are opportunities, not problems

 Sometimes “life happens” Deaths, accidents and traumas can:

 Force us to become aware of a problem
 Force us to reconsider how we live life
 Cause us to accept responsibility for the direction of our life

 Existential anxiety
 Makes us aware of the “big issues.”
 Helps us steer an effective path through life
 Helps us become aware of separations from:

Self

Others

World
 Cannot be lived with constantly, but
should be revisited time to time
The gift of death
 Death: It kills us but without it we would not know
we were alive
“As death, when we come to consider it closely, is the true goal
of our existence, I have formed during the last few years such
close relations with this best and truest friend of mankind, that
his image is not only no longer terrifying to me, but is indeed
very soothing and consoling! And I thank my God for graciously
granting me the opportunity . . . of learning that death is the key
which unlocks the door to our true happiness.”
– Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
 May’s stages of development
(age-salient, not age-dependent)

 Innocence -- the pre-egoic, pre-self-conscious stage of the infant. The

innocent is pre-moral (i.e., is neither bad nor good). Like a wild animal that
kills to eat, the innocent is only doing what he or she must. But innocents
do have a degree of will in the form of a drive to fulfill their needs!
 Rebellion -- the childhood and adolescent stage of ego development or
self-consciousness. It is characterized primarily through contrast with
adults, from the “no” of the two year old to the “no way” of the teenager.
The rebellious person wants freedom, but does not yet understand the
responsibility that goes with it. The teenager may want to spend her
allowance in any way she chooses -- yet still expect the parents to provide
the money, and complain about unfairness if she doesn't get it!
 Ordinary -- the normal adult ego: conventional and a little boring. This
person has learned responsibility, but finds it too demanding, and so seeks
refuge in conformity and traditional values.
 Creative -- the authentic adult, the existential stage, beyond ego and self-
actualizing. This is the person who, accepting destiny, faces anxiety with
courage!
A life-long process…
 Life circumstances or developmental changes can bring up
existential crises, even if they were successful resolved earlier
Therapeutic Goals
 Find meaning in life -- even from the terrible

 Change meanings to those that are more healthy and

adaptive
 To “live as if you were living already for the second time
and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you
are about to act now”
(Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning)
 How can this be accomplished?
 Listen and understand client’s worldview.
 Communicate your understanding to client.
 Only when client recognizes that therapist understands, can
therapy focus on shifting meanings.
The Therapeutic Process
 Being in the moment: Focusing on the here and now.
 Focus on owning feelings, desires, and actions
 Can’t vs. Won’t
 Whose unconscious is it?
 Making connections to the past: Clients are encouraged to
emotionally relive past life events.
 Integrating the felt experience (including in therapy) into
primary relationships
 Integrating what was learned: Being a new person in the
present moment.
 Deal and confront inability to feel and/or want
 Identify and deal with conflicting wants
 Help client process the “what ifs”
 Specialized techniques (Lukas, 1984)

 Reframing -- searches for the positive in the situation. Must wait

until client feels heard
 Paradoxical intention -- encourages client to do what client is afraid
might happen. Returns control to the client.
 Dereflection -- redirects focus from the maladaptive to the healthy
 You’ve been spending a lot of time worrying about your
daughter -- and driving you both crazy! Perhaps this would be a
good week to find something else to do. You’ve talked about
wanting to…
Advantages of Existential Therapy
 Contemporary developments have made it more flexible and
easier to use
 It has been adapted to briefer systems of intervention
 It provides a theoretical framework from which to be eclectic
 It is conducive to collaboration with the client to find a unique
way of working together
 It is emotionally powerful and fulfilling for client
Disadvantages of Existential Therapy

 It is dense, complex and difficult to master.

 There is very little guidance for the practitioner.

 You can be an existentialist but you cannot do it. It is

not about technique but your own personal stance.
Is our society in an existential crisis?
By Paul Majendie, Thu Jan 25, 10:37 AM ET LONDON (Reuters) –
Beware the Affluenza Virus. An epidemic of mindless consumerism is
sweeping the world with the compulsive pursuit of money and
possessions making people richer but sadder. That is the stark
warning issued by best-selling British psychologist Oliver James
after a "mind tour" of seven countries chronicling how depression
envelopes the affluent.
"We have become addicted to having rather than being and
confusing our needs with our wants," he told Reuters in an
interview to mark publication on Thursday of "Affluenza.“ Globe-
trotting from New York to Sydney, Singapore and Shanghai via
Copenhagen, Moscow and Auckland, he concluded after
interviewing 240 people that "selfish capitalism" has run riot.
Bigger houses, more cars, larger televisions, younger faces -- these
goals are frenetically pursued by middle-class workaholics afflicted
by "Affluenza.""Studies in lots of different nations show that if you
place high value on those things, you are more likely to suffer
depression, anxiety, addictions and personality disorders," he said.
U.S. Unenjoyment rate

See PBS timeline

http://www.pbs.org/kcts/affluenza/dia
g/history.html
Conclusion: An existential edge