6.

Objectives in Technical Communication

Objectives in Technical Communication
• Clarity
• Conciseness
• Accuracy
• Organization
• Ethics
 Clarity
To achieve clarity:
• Provide Specific Detail
• Answer the Reporters’ Questions
• Use Easily Understandable Words
• Use Verbs in the Active Voice Versus the
Passive Voice
 Clarity—Provide Specific Detail
BAD: Vague word

“Put enough air in your tires.”

(How much air is “enough”?)
GOOD:
“Fill your tires to 32 pounds per square inch.”

Specific detail
 Clarity—Answer Reporter’s Questions

Reporter’s Questions = who, what, when, where, why, and

how
BAD:
“We bought a new machine to solve the problem.”
• Who is “we”?
• What is the “new machine”?
• When was the purchase made?
• Where was the machine located?
• Why was the purchase made—what was the problem?
• How much did the machine cost?
 Clarity—Answer Reporter’s Questions
(cont.)

GOOD:
“The marketing department bought a
new AABco laser printer ($595) on
June 10 for our production room.
This printer will produce double-side,
color copies unlike our prior printer. ”
 Clarity—Use Easily Understandable Words

NOTE:
NOTE:
BAD: Write
Write toto express
express,,
not to impress!
not to impress!
“We are cognizant of your Use
Use words
words that
that
need for issuance of citations are
are easy
easy to
to
understand.
understand.
pursuant to code 18-B1 CPR
violations.”
Define
abbreviations
like “CPR.”
Clarity—Use Easily Understandable Words
(cont.)
GOOD:
“We know you need to send citations because of
code 18-B1 Continuing Property Record
violations. ”
Clarity—Use Verbs in the Active Voice vs.
the Passive Voice

Avoid Passive Voice:

“It has been determined NOTE:
NOTE:
that the machine was Active
Active voice
voice
sentences
sentences areare less
less
broken by John.” wordy
wordy and
and more
more
Use Active Voice: direct
direct than
than
passive
passive voice
voice
“John broke the constructions.
constructions.
machine. ”
 Case Study-Writing Precisely
• The following sentences are vague and imprecise. They
will be interpreted differently by different readers. Revise
these sentences-replace the vague, impressionistic words
with more specific information.
1. We need this information as soon as possible.
2. The machinery will replace a flawed piece of equipment in our
department.
3. Failure to purchase this will have a negative impact.
4. Weather problems in the area resulted in damage to the
computer systems.
5. Fire in the office caused substantial losses.
6. If we can't solve this problem soon, we will lose a large
percentage of our Business.
 Case Study-Avoiding Obscure Words
• Obscure words make the following sentences difficult to
understand. Improve the sentences by revising the difficult
words and making them more easily understood.
1. As Very Large Scale Integration (VLSI) continues to develop, a
proliferation of specialized circuit simulators will be
utilized.
2. As you requested at the commencement of the year, I am
forwarding my regular quarterly missive.
3. Though Randolph was cognizant of his responsibility to
advise you of any employment aberrations, he failed to
abide by this mandate.
4. Herewith is an explanation of our rationale for proffering
services, pursuant to your request.
 Case Study – Using Active Voice
• Use of the passive voice often leads to vague, wordy
sentences. Revise the following sentences by writing them
in the active voice.
– Implementation of this procedure is to be carried out by the
Metrology Department.
– Benefits derived by attending the conference were twofold.
– The information was demonstrated and explained in great detail
by the training supervisor
– Process control systems for foam encapsulation were reviewed
with vendors.
– Effort should be expended to reduce overtime. Overtime in
excess of eight hours should be closely monitored.
 Conciseness
To achieve conciseness:
• Write to “fit the box”
• Limit paragraph length
• Limit sentence length
• Limit word length
 Conciseness—Write to “fit the box”

• Technical communication often “fits in a box.”

– An automobile’s user manual must fit in the glove
compartment.
– Instructions for baking brownies must fit on the back of
the brownie box.
• Due to technological advancements, the box is
shrinking. Consider the monitor size of:
– Cell phones
– PDAs
– E-mail screens
– PowerPoint slides
Conciseness—Write to “fit the box” (cont.)

15
Conciseness—Write to “fit the box” (cont.)

The size of this e-

mail box limits the
size of your
correspondence.
Conciseness—Write to “fit the box” (cont.)

Boxes within
boxes within
boxes
Conciseness—Limit Paragraph Length

• To write concisely, limit paragraph length to

approximately:
– 4-6 lines of text
– 50 words per paragraph
 Conciseness—Limit Paragraph Length
(cont.)

BAD
Please prepare to supply a readout of your findings and NOTE:
NOTE:
recommendations to the officer of the Southwest Group Long
Long
at the completion of your study period. As we discussed, paragraphs
paragraphs
the undertaking of this project implies no currently known are
arehard
hardto
to
incidences of impropriety in the Southwest Group, nor is read.
read.
it designed to find any. Rather, it is to assure ourselves
of sufficient caution, control, and impartiality when
dealing with an area laden with such potential
vulnerability. I am confident that we will be better served
as a company as a result of this effort.
 Conciseness—Limit Paragraph Length
(cont.)

BETTER NOTE:
NOTE:
Please prepare to supply a readout of your findings and Shorter
Shorterparagraphs
paragraphs
recommendations to the officer of the Southwest Group are
are easiertotoread.
easier read.
at the completion of your study period. Spacing
Spacinggives
givesreaders
readers
aachance to stop,
chance to stop,
As we discussed, the undertaking of this project implies
breathe,
breathe,and
anddigest
digest
no currently known incidences of impropriety in the
the information.
the information.
Southwest Group, nor is it designed to find any. Rather, it is
to assure ourselves of sufficient caution, control, and impartiality These
Theseparagraphs
paragraphsare are
when dealing with an area laden with such potential vulnerability. still
stillhard
hardtotoread,
read,due
due
totothe sentence and
the sentence and
I am confident that we will be better served word
wordlength.
length.
as a company as a result of this effort.
 Conciseness—Limit Sentence Length

• To write concisely, limit sentence length to:

– 10-15 words (average)
 Conciseness—Limit Word Length

• To write concisely, limit word length to:

– 1-2 syllables (average) NOTE:
NOTE:
All
All words
words cannot
cannot bebe 1-2
1-2
syllables!
syllables! You
You cannot
cannot
shorten
shorten words
words like
like
“telecommunications,”
“telecommunications,”
“engineer,”
“engineer,” “accountant,”
“accountant,” oror
“trinitrotolulene”
“trinitrotolulene” (TNT).
(TNT).
Change
Change thethe words
words you
you can;
can;
leave
leave other
other words
words alone.
alone.
Conciseness—Limiting Word and Sentence
Length (cont.)
NOTE:
NOTE:
BAD This
This sentence
sentence isis
23
23 words
words long,
long,
“During the month of July, I and
and itit uses
uses five
five
made a decision to positively words
words overover two
two
syllables
syllables
impact my writing inabilities (underlined).
(underlined).
by having a meeting with an instructional
advisor.”
Conciseness—Limiting Word and Sentence
Length (cont.)

NOTE:
GOOD NOTE:

“In July, I decided to improve This

This sentence
sentence isis
13
13 words
words long,
long,
my writing by meeting with a and
and itit uses
uses one
one
teacher.” word
word over
over two
two
syllables
syllables
(underlined).
(underlined).
 Case Study – Reducing Word Length
• Multisyllabic words can create long sentences.
To limit sentence length, limit word length.
find shorter words to replace the following
words
• advise - endeavor - prohibit - inconvenience
residence - indicate – cooperate
Case Study – Reducing Sentence Length
• Reduce the length of the following sentences:
– In regard to the progress reports, they should be absolutely
complete by the fifteenth of each month.
– I wonder if you would be so kind as to answer a few questions
about your proposal.
– I am in receipt of your memo requesting an increase in pay and
am of the opinion that it is not merited at this time due to the
fact that you have worked here for only one month.
– In this meeting, our intention is to acquire a familiarization
with this equipment so that we might standardize the
replacement of obsolete machinery throughout our entire
work environment.
 Accuracy

• Errors in your writing make you look

unprofessional.
• Proofread to catch and correct errors.
 Organization

• Use appropriate organizational modes to help

readers understand your content:
– Spatial (good for technical specifications)
– Chronological (good for instructions)
– Importance (good for focusing your reader’s attention
on the key ideas in any type of writing)
– Comparison/Contrast (good for showing alternatives in
any type of writing)
– Problem/Solution (good for proposals)
 Case Study- Using Organization
• Using spatial organization, write a paragraph
describing your classroom, your office, your work
environment, your dorm room, your apartment, or
any room in your house.
• Visit two auto dealerships, two clothing stores, two
restaurants, two music shops, two prospective
employers, two colleges, and so on. Based on your
discoveries, write a report using comparison/contrast
to make a value judgment. Which of the two cars
would you buy, which of the two restaurants would
you frequent, and at which of the two music shops
would you purchase CDs?
 Ethics
• Follow the Society for Technical
Communication’s (STC) guidelines for writing
ethically, as follows:
 Ethics (cont.)
1. Satisfy the audience’s need for
information, not your own need for self
expression.
2. Hold yourself responsible for how well the
audience understands the message.
3. Respect the work of colleagues. (Focusing
on Confidentiality, Courtesy, and
Copyright laws)
Audience Recognition and Involvement
 Audience Recognition and Involvement

• Audience Recognition
• Defining Terms for
Different Audience
Levels
• Biased Language—
Issues of Diversity
• Multiculturalism
• Sexist Language
• Audience Involvement
 Audience Recognition—Knowledge of the
Subject Matter
• Clear communication is written at the audience’s
level of understanding.
• Your audiences knowledge of the subject matter
determines whether he or she is:
– High-tech
– Low-tech
– Lay
• You might write or speak to
many people. You then have:
– Multiple audiences
 Audience Recognition—High-Tech

High-tech audiences have these traits:

• Experts in the field of discussion
• Word experience/education comparable to
yours
• Require less detail or background
information
• Do not generally need
abbreviations/acronyms defined
 Audience Recognition—Low-Tech

Low-tech audiences have these traits:

• Familiar with the subject matter, but it’s not
within their primary area of expertise
• Understand some abbreviations/acronyms
but not all
• Require more background information and
detail than high-tech audiences
 Audience Recognition—Lay

Lay audiences have these traits:

• Unfamiliar with the subject matter
• Unfamiliar with abbreviations/acronyms
• Need more background information and
detail than high-tech and low-tech
audiences
Audience Recognition—Multiple Audiences

• You might speak to a large group or write a

proposal to many readers.
• Multiple audiences include:
– combinations of high-tech, low-tech, and lay
readers
Audience Recognition—Multiple Audiences
(cont.)

• To communicate to multiple audiences:

– Define your terms
– Provide background information
– Provide detailed explanations
Defining Terms for Different Audience Levels

Table Audience Variables

Knowledge of Subject Issues of Diversity

Matter Age
High tech Gender
Low tech Race and/or religion
Lay Sexual orientation
Multiple Language and/or culture of
origin—multicultural or cross-
cultural
 Biased Language—Issues of Diversity

• Audiences for written and spoken technical

communication will not always be just like
you.
• The audiences will be diverse.
Biased Language—Issues of Diversity (cont.)

• Diversity includes: NOTE:

NOTE:
– Gender
You
You must
must useuse
– Race/ethnicity
language
language with
with
– Religion sensitivity.
sensitivity.
– Age Avoid
Avoid biased
biased
– Sexual orientation language.
language.
– Class
– Physical and mental characteristics
– Language
– Family issues
Biased Language—Issues of Diversity (cont.)

• Understand the importance of diversity.

– Diversity is protected by the law.
– Respecting the diverse workplace is the right
thing to do.
– Diversity is good for business.
– A diverse workforce keeps companies
competitive.
Biased Language—Issues of Diversity (cont.)

Insensitive and Biased Language

• “The president, a woman, is in charge of a
36-branch operation.”
• “He suffers from diabetes.”
• “The old people needed more accessible
seating.”
• “Define terms for lower-class shoppers.”
Biased Language—Issues of Diversity (cont.)

Sensitive and Unbiased Language

• “The president is in charge of a 36-branch
operation.”
• “He has diabetes.”
• “The senior citizens needed more accessible
seating.”
• “Define terms for shoppers.”
 Multiculturalism
• International business requires multicultural
communication, the sharing of written and oral
information between businesspeople from many
different countries.
 Multi-Culture Communication

 Companies are more and more globalizing

 Employees in various international locations have
now day-to-day communications
 Different cultural contexts bring new communication
challenges to the workplace
 Cultural diversity even within the same country
 Multi-Culture Communication
 Language
- A system of communication through words
 Dialect
- Particular language (vocabulary + grammatical structures +
pronunciation) used in a certain part or by a class of people
within a country
 Idiom
- Style of expressions used in a particular area or by certain
groups
- She was all ears when I mentioned money
- Set of words to be learned as a whole: Give up, break up
with, make it up to you
 Multi-Culture Communication
 Philosophy
Manner of thinking, ideas, characteristics as forming the basis
of an economic/political system (Person/Group)
 Mentality
Kind of attitude, the way we work, deal with particular
situations
 Culture
Beliefs, customs, traditions
 Multi-Culture Communication

 Ways of speaking
 To older persons, to the boss, to a baby, when

joking, when angry

 Multi-Culture Communication
 During Business
- Koreans: Focus on business and involve minimum of
speaking
- African American: Business should be a social
encounter (emphasizing a relationship between business
partners)
 The Challenges of Multicultural
Communication

• Medtronic, a medical technology company, does

business in 120 countries.
• Many of those countries mandate that product
documentation be written in the local language.
• Medtronic translates its manuals into 11
languages: French, Italian, German, Spanish,
Swedish, Dutch, Danish, Greek, Portuguese,
Japanese, and Chinese.
 Multicultural Team Projects
• You might work on a “virtual team” project,
communicating to colleagues from many different
countries.
• You must be aware of international:
– Verbal and nonverbal
communication norms
– Management styles
– Decision-making procedures
– Sense of time and place
– Local values, beliefs, and attitudes
 Multiculturalism (cont.)

• To meet the challenges of communicating

to a multicultural or cross-cultural
audience, consider these the following
techniques:
 Multiculturalism (cont.)

1. Define acronyms and abbreviations.

2. Avoid jargon or idioms.
3. Distinguish between nouns and verbs.
4. Watch for cultural biases and expectations.
5. Avoid humor and puns.
6. Leave space for translations.
7. Avoid metaphorical language.
8. Be Careful with Numbers, Measurements,
Dates, and Times.
 Practice Multiculturalism (cont.)

To: Jose Guerrero, Mexico City, Mexico Office; Yong Kim, Hong
Kong Office;Hans Rittmaster, Berlin Office
From: Leonard Liss, New York Office Where are the problems
Subject: Agenda for Teleconference in this e-mail?
Time to wrap up that deal. If we don’t finish the project soon, we’re all behind the
eight ball. So, here’s what I’m planning for the 03/07/08, 12:00 discussion:

• Restructured design—rather than build the part at 8 X 10 X 23, let’s consider a smaller
design.
• Shipping method—let’s use a new carrier/vendor. We’ve not had good luck with Flyrite
Overnight. I’m open to your suggestions. Let’s think outside the box.

Brainstorm before our teleconference so we can tackle this topic pronto. My boss
needs our suggestions ASAP, so I need it even sooner. I know you’ll come through
with flying colors.
 Sexist Language
• Fifty percent of the workforce is female.
• Avoid sexist language, created through:
– Omission
– Unequal treatment
– Stereotyping
– Sexist pronouns and nouns
 Sexist Language (cont.)

• Omission
– When writing or speaking ignores women, that’s biased
sexism.
BAD
“With new technologies, men can achieve great
things.”
GOOD
“With new technologies, workers can achieve great
things.”
 Sexist Language (cont.)

• Unequal treatment
– Referring to women in terms not applied to
men is biased sexism.
BAD
“Ms. Jones, the dizzy blonde, is Mr. Gardener’s
assistant.”
GOOD
“Ms. Jones is Mr. Gardener’s assistant.”
 Sexist Language (cont.)
• Stereotyping
– Writing or speaking that implies only men or women
do certain jobs is biased sexism.
BAD
“The auto mechanics are men of good standing in the profession.”
GOOD
“The auto mechanics are all certified.”

BAD
“A nurse must fill out her patient’s forms correctly.”
GOOD
“A nurse must fill out patient forms correctly.”
 Sexist Language (cont.)

• Sexist pronouns and nouns

– The pronouns “his” and “he” are masculine.
– Nouns such as “mankind,” “manpower,” and
“foreman” are masculine.
• Revise these pronouns and nouns for unbiased
communication.
 Sexist Language (cont.)

BAD
“A good employee should make sure that his time card is
accurate.”
GOOD
“Good employees keep accurate time cards.”

BAD
“The foremen ensured that all workers cleaned up the job site.”
GOOD
“The supervisors ensured that all workers cleaned up the job
site.”
 Case Study – Avoiding Sexist Language
• Revise the following sentences to avoid sexist language.
– All the software development specialists and their wives attended the
conference.
– The foremen met to discuss techniques for handling union grievances.
– Every technician must keep accurate records for his monthly activity
reports.
– The president of the corporation, a woman, met with her sales staff.
– Throughout the history of mankind, each scientist has tried to make
his mark with a discovery of significant intellectual worth.
– All manmade components were checked for microscopic cracks.
 Audience Involvement
• To involve your audience:
– Use a personalized tone
– Show reader benefit
 Audience Involvement (cont.)

• Personalized tone
– Involve your audience by using pronouns:
• You
• Your NOTE:
NOTE:
• Us
Companies don’t
Companies don’t write
write
• We to
to companies.
companies.
• Our
• I People
People write
write to
to people.
people.
• Me Pronouns
Pronouns personalize
personalize
• My the
the correspondence.
correspondence.
 Audience Involvement (cont.)

• Reader benefit
– Show how the audience benefits
– Use positive words NOTE:
NOTE:
Using
Using “Please”
“Please” and
and
NOTE:
NOTE: “thank
“thank you”
you” improve
improve
Using
Using words
words like
like the
the tone
tone of
of your
your
“advantage”
“advantage” and
and correspondence.
correspondence.
“achieve”
“achieve” help
help to
to
sway
sway an
an audience.
audience.
 Case Study - Achieving Audience
Involvement

• Revise them to achieve audience involvement

through personalization, adding pronouns, or names.
– The company will require further information before
processing this request.
– It has been decided that a new procedure must be
implemented to avoid further mechanical failures.
– The department supervisor wants to extend a heartfelt
thanks for the fine efforts expended.
– Ampex Corporation announces the opening of a new office
in the fairway Village area.
– There are three ways to solve the problem: line checks,
system checks, and random checks.
 Team Project
Rewrite the following flawed
correspondence, be sure to
achieve effective audience
understanding and
involvement. To do so, avoid
sexist language and define
high-tech terms.