LESSON 1:

TAKING A LOOK
AT ONESELF
P R E PA R E D B Y:
F R E E M A N PA G AY U N A N
LEARNING TARGETS:

• In this unit, you should be able to:

• ● explain that knowing oneself can make a person accept his/her
strengths and limitations and deal with others better;
• ● share his/her unique characteristics, habits, and experiences; and
• ● maintain a journal.
LEARN ABOUT IT!
• Ever since you were a baby, you already possessed some
knowledge about yourself. You would respond to yourself
in the mirror, and learn to acknowledge your body. As you
grow older, there are more opportunities available that exist
for you to get to know yourself better. As you get to
interact with more and more people in your everyday
encounters, your knowledge of yourself also becomes more
complex. This information you have of yourself can either
become an empowering tool or a delimiting one.
SELF-CONCEPT- EVERYTHING THAT
YOU KNOW ABOUT YOURSELF
• There are different ways that you can perceive yourself because of cultural differences and
environmental factors. However, among all these varying self-concepts lie three essential
components:
• 1) physical characteristics,
• 2) personality traits, and
• 3) social identity.
• Physical characteristics are used to describe how you look in either a positive or
negative way.
• Personality traits are the stable characteristics that determine your behavior; and
• Social identity would refer to the social group where you belong. Self-concepts are
never simple, given the differences in backgrounds of individuals.

• Self-complexity, or the different ways in which you think about yourself, can be high or
low according to researchers. If you have a lot of social identities, such as a daughter, student,
volleyball team captain, friend, sister– you are said to have high complexity. All of these
components determine how you are different or unique from others, and how you evaluate
yourself against others.
 SELF-ESTEEM
• When you evaluate yourself against others based on your knowledge of yourself, your self-
esteem is affected. Self-concept is greatly associated with self-esteem, which is the value that
you put on what you know about yourself. It is a positive or negative self-evaluation of the
self-concept that could be based on your performance or behavior or your interaction with
others. There are moments when you arrive at a distorted or inaccurate evaluation of yourself.
This is because of the subjective nature of self-concept, wherein the information you have of
yourself is heavily based on perceptions. But in any case, your high or low self-esteem may
also affect your self-worth (how much you value yourself) and your self-efficacy (the belief
and confidence that you can accomplish tasks and control your environment).
SELF-CONCEPT AS A PRODUCT OF
SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS
• One of the propositions made about self-concept that directly affects self-esteem is that what
you know about yourself is primarily a product of your relationships with others. In 1902,
American sociologist Charles Horton Cooley popularized the concept of the looking glass
self wherein he theorizes that people around you serve as mirrors that reflect how you see
yourself. You merely reinforce others’ impressions and build this idea of yourself based on
these interactions. And so, based on this, if you think that others have a negative perception of
you, this creates a negative self-concept and low self-esteem.
EXAMPLE
• Growing up, John has always been compared to his brother James.
James would always get better grades than him. Everyone around
John has, at one point or another, made him feel that he was not as
smart as James. He felt that his parents would only always praise
James, and even his friends admired his brother. He grew up
believing that he was not good enough to do well academically and
so, in all his years in school, he just lived with what he thought was
the expectation of him. He would fail exams, and repeat subjects left
and right.
• There are many social factors that influence your self-concept and self-
esteem. How you come to know who you are is influenced by the ways
other people react to you. When you receive positive reactions to your
skills and traits, you develop a positive idea of yourself. However, when
your behavior is ignored or reacted negatively, your self-concept turns
sour as well and you end up with negative judgments of yourself.
Comparing yourself to others also affect what you know and think of
yourself. If you perceive others to be more successful than you, it is
probable that you do not think highly of yourself and vice versa.
However, of course, such comparisons can also be a source of motivation
to make the self better and give more value to the self. The extent to
which you identify with other people around you is a factor in how you
perceive yourself.
 TIP!
• Factors that influence self concept and self-
esteem:
•  the ways others react to an individual
•  the way an individual compares himself to others
•  the extent to which an individual identifies with these other people
SELF-AWARENESS

• When one can access his knowledge of himself easily, that person is said to be self aware. Self-
awareness is the ability to know yourself extensively, not just regarding traits and
characteristics, but also knowing your inner state and how you think. It is a deeper
understanding of your emotions, belief systems, and patterns in behavior and thought that
should allow us to effectively redirect negative traits into positive ones if needed. Therefore, to
be self-aware, you must attempt to be non-judgmental and unbiased in assessing or
understanding yourself.
In 1972, psychologists Shelley Duval and Robert Wicklund first studied
self-awareness and stated in the self-awareness theory that when you focus on
yourself, there is the tendency to compare what you currently observe to the
standards you set for yourself. And when there is a mismatch between your ideal
self and your actual self, this becomes a source of distress for you and is much
likely to affect your self-esteem. In the same way, if the ideal self is consistent with
the actual self, you react positively.
This is what the self-discrepancy theory states. In effect, people who are highly
self-aware feel more pressure to live up to their ideals as compared to those who do
not know themselves well enough. The goal then is to have a clear and defined self-
concept. Having high self-concept clarity helps you and your desire to become self-
aware by providing a more stable view of your positive traits. This creates higher
self-esteem and less vulnerability to the stress caused by inconsistencies between
the actual self and ideal self. The more well-defined and stable your self-concept is,
the more capable you become in addressing mismatches you will encounter of
yourself.
TWO TYPES OF SELF AWARENESS

• 1. internal self-awareness refers to clearly seeing your inner self–your personalities,

values, desires, reactions, and impact on other people.
• 2. external self-awareness involves understanding how others see you.
• The goal here is to attempt to reach a balance of both types of awareness – to know yourself
well and to receive feedback on how others see you.
FOUR TYPES OF INDIVIDUAL ACCORDING TO DR. TASHA EURICH
KNOWING YOURSELF AND DEALING
WITH OTHERS
• An individual who is well-aware of his strengths and weaknesses is an empowered individual. If you
are highly self-aware individual, you are more capable of being able to accept responsibility for your
actions and more capable of being independent of the negative influences of others. Because you are
more observant of yourself and your responses to certain situations, you can make smarter choices in
life, has more control of your experiences, and can also realize the need to change negative patterns of
behavior when needed.
• EXAMPLE Rica’s friends planned to sneak out of school that day to skip class and go to the mall to
watch the latest movie of one of her favorite actors. They tried to convince her to go with them by
telling her that there weren’t any exams or quizzes that day for her to miss. However, Rica, who is
highly aware of herself, knew that it was wrong and she should not break the rules for a movie. Not
only would she be putting herself in danger, but she would also be disappointing her parents who are
working hard for her education. As a sister to her younger siblings, she also knew that this going would
not be a good example to them. Rica thought of herself as a responsible student, and so she did not
sneak out with them.
STEPS TO SELF-AWARENESS

• Ask yourself why.

• Before you act or decide on anything, it is always a good idea to
know why you are going to do what you are about to do.
Understanding the intentions behind your actions lets you to
become more aware of your thought processes and will allow you to
make smarter decisions.
• Delay gratification.
• Being able to control yourself by not quickly giving in to
temptations allows you to practice saying no to negative influences
that may affect you later on. This gives you a chance to strengthen
your sense of self.
• Take feedback constructively.
• Learn to accept what others say about you and use it to improve
yourself. Remember that self-awareness is a healthy balance
between understanding yourself and how others see you.
• Let go of biases.
• Before you make any auto-pilot reactions to a situation, make sure you stop and think about the
different sides of the situation. Question yourself and challenge yourself as to why you believe
in such things. Be objective and re-assess your responses to others.
• Use tools to know yourself.
• Experts have come up with different ways for individuals to learn about their personality types,
which are fortunately readily available to you online. Knowing where you stand in the Myers-
Briggs personality exam and introvert-extrovert spectrum, as well as reasonably assessing
yourself through a SWOT analysis and Johari’s Window, can give you a better idea of who you
are.

• Reflect often.
• Taking time to think quietly through meditation or simple reflection will help you become more
self-aware. Keep a journal to see how your thoughts and actions progress. Learn from the
mistakes you have made, and always keep yourself in check.
CHECK YOUR UNDERSTANDING :
• Answer each statement briefly and concisely.
• 1. How does feedback help you in becoming self-aware?
• 2. How does awareness of the self lead to empathy and compassion in a relationship?
• 3. What factors influence self- concept, and self-esteem?

• Read each situation well. Answer as best as you can.

• 1. Joel wants to get to know himself better through well-documented and well-constructed test
types. What can you suggest to him?
• 2. Some kids in Pia’s school think that she is a snob, but Pia doesn’t seem to mind. Why do you
think this is so?
• 3. Kevin feels stressed that what he thinks of himself doesn’t match what he is experiencing in
real life. Why does he feel this way?