Lesson 1

Personal Relationship
Prepared by
Mr. Benedict B. Diaz, LPT
Learning Objectives
• Discuss an understanding of teenage
relationship, including the acceptable and
unacceptable expressions of attractions.
• Express his or her ways of showing attraction,
love and commitment.
• Identify ways to become responsible in a
relationship
• Appraise one’s relationships and make plans
for building responsible future relationship.
Written Work # 1
DIRECTIONS: Using a Spider Web
Relationship Diagram, list down all the
important people in your lives or people that
influences your self.
What is Personal The concept of
relationship is very
Relationships? broad and complex. In
our model, personal
relationships refer to
close connections
between people, formed
by emotional bonds and
interactions. These
bonds often grow from
and are strengthened by
mutual experiences.
 • Attachment theory is a concept in developmental psychology that concerns
the importance of "attachment" in regard to personal development.
How are • Specifically, it makes the claim that the ability for an individual to form an
emotional and physical "attachment" to another person gives a sense of
attachments stability and security necessary to take risks, branch out, and grow and
developed? develop as a personality.
• Naturally, attachment theory is a broad idea with many expressions, and
the best understanding of it can be had by looking at several of those
expressions in turn.
John Bowlby
Psychologist John Bowlby was the first to coin the
term.
His work in the late 60s established the precedent
that childhood development depended heavily
upon a child's ability to form a strong relationship
with "at least one primary caregiver".
Generally speaking, this is one of the parents.
Attachment styles as defined by
Ainsworth,Blekar and Wall 1978
1.Secure attachment is
classified by children who show
some distress when their
caregiver leaves but can
compose themselves and do
something knowing that their
caregiver will return. Children
with secure attachment feel
protected by their caregivers,
and they know that they can
depend on them to return.
Attachment styles as defined by
Ainsworth,Blekar and Wall 1978
2. Avoidant Attachment.
Parents of children with an
avoidant/anxious
attachment tend to be
emotionally unavailable or
unresponsive to them a
good deal of the time. They
disregard or ignore their
children's needs and can be
especially rejecting when
their child is hurt or sick.
Attachment styles as defined by
Ainsworth,Blekar and Wall 1978
3. Anxious-ambivalent
attachment is when the infant
feels separation anxiety when
separated from the caregiver and
does not feel reassured when the
caregiver returns to the infant.
Anxious-avoidant attachment is
when the infant avoids their
parents. Disorganized attachment
is when there is a lack of
attachment behavior.
Three Systems of Love
(Fisher, 2014)
• Lust — the sex drive or libido.
• Romantic attraction —
romantic love.
• Attachment — deep feelings of
union with a long-term partner.
What Drives Attraction?
1. Lust - Is sex really all that guys
think about?
Possibly. But women think about it
too. Lust is our sex drive or libido, and
it is in part driven by the hormone's
testosterone and estrogen. Lust refers to
an urge or desire that motivates us to
partake in sexual activity. This desire to
be involved in sexual activity is there
regardless of whether someone has a
sexual partner or not.
What Drives
Attraction?
2. Attraction
Attraction is in part driven by
different hormones than is lust,
with adrenaline, dopamine and
serotonin playing key roles.
Ultimately, engaging in sexual
activity may be just as dependent
upon individual attraction as it is
upon lust
What Drives
Attraction?
3. Attachment
Attachment is a
deep and enduring
emotional bond that
connects one person to
another across time
and space (Ainsworth,
1973; Bowlby, 1969).
The Rozenberg Quarterly
mentions several theories on
attraction

1. Transference effect
Transference is a
phenomenon characterized
by unconscious redirection
of feelings from one person
to another.
The Rozenberg Quarterly
mentions several theories on
attraction
2. Propinquity Effect
The propinquity effect is the
tendency for people to form friendships
or romantic relationships with those
whom they encounter often, forming a
bond between subject and friend.
Occupational propinquity, based on a
person's career, is also commonly seen
as a factor in marriage selection
The Rozenberg Quarterly
mentions several theories on
attraction
3. Similarity
The state of being similar;
likeness; resemblance. An
aspect, trait, or feature like or
resembling another or
another's: a similarity of
diction.
The Rozenberg Quarterly
mentions several theories on
attraction
4. Reciprocity
In social psychology,
reciprocity is a social rule that
says people should repay, in
kind, what another person has
provided for them; that is,
people give back (reciprocate)
the kind of treatment they have
received from another.
The Rozenberg Quarterly
mentions several theories on
attraction
5. Physical attractiveness
It is the degree to which a
person's physical features are
considered aesthetically pleasing
or beautiful. The term often
implies sexual attractiveness or
desirability but can also be
distinct from either.
Types of Love
1. Phillia
Philia is love without
romantic attraction and occurs
between friends or family
members. It occurs when both
people share the same values and
respect each other — it’s
commonly referred to as
“brotherly love.”
Types of Love
2. Pragma
Pragma is a unique bonded
love that matures over many
years. It’s an everlasting love
between a couple that chooses to
put equal effort into their
relationship. Commitment and
dedication are required to reach
“Pragma.”
Types of Love
3. Storge
Storge is a naturally occurring
love rooted in parents and
children, as well as best friends.
It’s an infinite love built upon
acceptance and deep emotional
connection. This love comes
easily and immediately in parent
and child relationships.
Types of Love
4. Eros
Eros is a primal love that
comes as a natural instinct for
most people. It’s a passionate love
displayed through physical
affection. These romantic
behaviors include, but are not
limited to, kissing, hugging and
holding hands. This love is a
desire for another person’s
Types of Love
5. Ludus
Ludus is a child-like and
flirtatious love commonly found
in the beginning stages of a
relationship (a.k.a. the
honeymoon stage). This type of
love consists of teasing, playful
motives and laughter between two
people.
Types of Love
6. Philautia
Philautia is a healthy form of
love where you recognize your
self-worth and don’t ignore your
personal needs. Self-love begins
with acknowledging your
responsibility for your well-being.
It’s challenging to exemplify the
outbound types of love because
you can’t offer what you don’t
Types of Love
7. Agape
Agape is the highest level of
love to offer. It’s given without
any expectations of receiving
anything in return. Agape is not a
physical act, it’s a feeling, but acts
of self-love can elicit Agape.
Types of Love
8. Mania
Mania is an obsessive love
towards a partner. It leads to
unwanted jealousy or
possessiveness — known as
codependency. Most cases of
obsessive love are found in
couples with an imbalance of love
towards each other. An imbalance
of Eros and Ludus is the main
 When do
teenagers
create
relationships
?
Teenage Relationships

Romantic relationships are a

major developmental
milestone. They come with all
the other changes going on
during adolescence – physical,
social and emotional. And
they’re linked to your child’s
growing interest in body
image and looks,
independence and privacy.
 • From 9-11 years, your
child might start to show
more independence from
your family and more
interest in friends.
• From 10-14 years, your
child might want to spend
more time in mixed
gender groups, which
might eventually end up
in a romantic relationship.
• From 15-19 years,
romantic relationships
can become central to
Teenage relationships social life. Friendships
might become deeper and
more stable.
 • An identity crush is
when your child finds
someone she admires
and wants to be like.
• A romantic crush is
the beginning of
romantic feelings. It’s
about your child
imagining another
person as perfect or
ideal. This can tell you
a lot about the things
Crushes that your child finds
attractive in people.
 • For 3-10% of young
people, the start of
puberty will mean
realizing they’re
attracted to people of
the same sex. A larger
number of young
people might develop
bisexual attraction.
Same Sex Attraction and
Early Experimentation
 Break-ups and broken
hearts are part of
teenage relationships.
To make things worse,
teenage break-ups
might be played out in
public – maybe at
school, or online on
social media.
Break ups
1. The Crush Phase
The start of a relationship
always begins with a crush.
No crush, no love. Teenagers
often feel shy and
embarrassed because their
hearts beat fast when they see
the crush or when they hear
other people talking about the
crush.
The Stages of Teenage Relationships
by Phil Wang (2018)
2. The I Love You Phase
After the crush comes the “I love
you” phase. In this instance, assume
we are talking about a boy having a
crush on a girl. During this period,
the boy will pick up his courage and
tell the girl that he loves her, and, if
the girl is impressed by what the boy
has done, a new couple appears, and
if not, the boy will certainly feel
heartbreak and either make a second
attempt later on or weep in the
bathroom all day long. 
The Stages of Teenage Relationships
by Phil Wang (2018)
3. The Honeymoon Phase
Next is the Honeymoon phase.
This is the best and the worst period
during a relationship. The couple
feels love, pride, and confidence
while they are holding hands,
showing everyone how much they
love each other. Both sides feel
secure and sweet because they know
someone cares about them and loves
them as much as their parents. 

The Stages of Teenage Relationships

by Phil Wang (2018)
4. The Burnt-Out Phase
Finally comes the burnt-out phase.
This counts as the end of the
Honeymoon phase because both
sides lose interest in the other, and
most couples break up. At this time,
teenagers feel impatient, dried out,
and stressed towards the other half
either because of the lack of interest
or dislike towards the bad habits of
the other half. 

The Stages of Teenage Relationships

by Phil Wang (2018)
5. The Freedom of Breaking Up
Due to the burnt out phase, couples
have to make a choice between
breaking up or learning to accept each
other again. It is very hard to like each
other again, but if this is the case, the
relationship will last for a very long
time because the couple’s relationship
becomes super stable after
overcoming this huge obstacle. But in
most cases, the couple breaks up and
feels the extravagant taste of freedom.
The Stages of Teenage Relationships
by Phil Wang (2018)
6. Finding Another Half
There is another ending after the
couple breaks up: finding another
boyfriend or girlfriend. This is also a
common way of ending a relationship
because one side of the couple gets
bored of the other side and wants to
find a new taste. For some reason, the
side finding the other half is often the
boy but not the girl. 

The Stages of Teenage Relationships

by Phil Wang (2018)
Written Work # 2
DIRECTIONS: Write TRUE if the given statement is correct; otherwise, write FALSE.
___1. Besides causing pregnancy, the frequency and nature of adolescent heterosexual
activity also increases a teenager's exposure to sexually transmitted diseases.
___2. Most adolescents who get married because of pregnancy experience a low-risk
relationship that seems to be an excellent way of resolving the problems associated
with teen parenthood.
___3. If my partner regularly checks in on me to see what I am doing and who I am
with, these could be signs of controlling behaviour.
___4. If I ask my partner to hang out and he or she would rather be alone, that means
something must be wrong.
___5. If my partner isn't jealous when other people flirt with me, he or she must not be
into me.
Written Work # 2
DIRECTIONS: Write TRUE if the given statement is correct; otherwise,
write FALSE.
___6. Because my partner isn't affectionate toward me in public, this must
mean that he or she doesn't want others to know that we are together.
___7. Discussing comfort levels and desires before engaging in sexual
activity can be a good way of setting sexual boundaries that everyone
involved feels comfortable with.
___8. It’s normal to feel attraction to members of both the same sex and
the opposite sex.
___9. After a breakup, ex-partners can never be 'just friends.’
___10. Love is only an abstract idea hence; it cannot be concretized.
 Watch the film, “Paper Towns.” Identify the problems in
interpersonal relationships shown in the given movie. Then, create a
reflection paper about it.
Assignment
To be submitted until next meeting on MS Teams account.
Format: Arial, 12, 1.5 spacing, justify, 300 words