Activity: Healthy Relationships Item Set

• 1. What should you consider when making decisions around sex and
sexual limits?
a. Your values
b. Your friends
c. Your family
d. All of the above
2. What is the best style of communication to use when making
decisions about sexual limits and boundaries?

a. Assertive
b. Passive
c. Aggressive
3. Name three important qualities of a healthy relationship?

4. Which of the following is NOT an element of a Healthy Relationship?

a. Trust one another

b. One person makes all the decisions
c. Respect one another
d. Open and Honest communication
5. Name a Reason why you may not make healthy
choices when it comes to sex.

6. Name three resources you can turn to if you

are worried about abuse in relationship.

7. Name three characteristics of an unhealthy

relationship.
8. What skills do you need to make healthy decisions in a relationship?
a. Intelligence, memory, ability to do public speaking
b. Assertive communication, active listening, and negotiation skills
c. Ability to persuade others, love
d. Passive communication
e. None of the above
9. Why would you choose abstinence?
10. Which of the following are signs that you may be in an abusive
relationship?
a. Bruises, scratches and other signs of injury
b. Avoiding friends
c. Apologizing for your partner’s behavior
d. All of the above
 Activity: Healthy Relationships Item Set
• 1. What should you consider when making decisions around sex and
sexual limits?
a. Your values
b. Your friends
c. Your family
d. All of the above
Answer: All of the above.
Values, goals, moral and spiritual principles are all things people
consider when making decision about sex. Talking to people you trust
such as family and friends will help you make healthy decisions.
2. What is the best style of communication to use when making decisions about
sexual limits and boundaries?
a. Assertive
b. Passive
c. Aggressive

Answer: a. Assertive
When individuals are assertive they:
• they stand up for their right without denying other people
• Respect themselves as well as others
• Know how to listen and talk
• Express their emotions, both positive and negative
• Know how to be self-confident without seeming arrogant
3. Name three important qualities of a healthy relationship?
Answer: Trust, Respect, Honesty, Loyalty, Open communication, Fun, caring

4. Which of the following is NOT an element of a Healthy Relationship?

a. Trust one another
b. One person makes all the decisions
c. Respect one another
d. Open and Honest communication

Answer: b. one person makes all the decisions.

When one person is the relationship is making all the decisions they
hold the most power and may be manipulative. It is best if both of you
makes decisions together.
5. Name a Reason why you may not make healthy choices when it
comes to sex.
Answer: Pressure, Alcohol or substance use, Did not think about how
you can handle the situation, you are in the ‘moment”, poor planning.

6. Name three resources you can turn to if you are worried

about abuse in relationship.
Answer: Family, Friends, Teachers, Guidance Councilors, Parents

7. Name three characteristics of an unhealthy relationship.

Answer key: Jealousy, Abuse, Obsession, Manipulation, Dishonesty, Possessiveness,
Lies, Fear; Some of these characteristics are easier to spot than others such as
physical abuse. Listen to your instincts and talk with people you trust regarding
maintaining a relationship and making wise decisions. If abuse is involved, it is time
for the relationship to end.
8. What skills do you need to make healthy decisions in a relationship?
a. Intelligence, memory, ability to do public speaking
b. Assertive communication, active listening, and negotiation skills
c. Ability to persuade others, love
d. Passive communication
e. None of the above
Answer: b. Assertive communication, active listening and negotiation skills. These
are all very important skills to have when making decisions about sexual activities
with a paper.
9. Why would you choose abstinence? Give 3 reasons.
Answer: Moral/family/religious beliefs, prevent STI and HIV, prevent
pregnancy, Waiting for marriage/long term commitment/a certain age,
Have not met the right yet
10. Which of the following are signs that you may be in an abusive
relationship?
a. Bruises, scratches and other signs of injury
b. Avoiding friends
c. Apologizing for your partner’s behavior
d. All of the above

Answer: d. All of the above. Relationship abuse comes in many forms,

some are easier to stop than others. The person being abuse may not
be able to identify the abuse but their behavior may show signs.
Avoiding friends is a way of hiding the abuse from the people who care
about you.
Questions:
1. What were your thoughts and feelings while answering the activity?
2. What did you discover about yourself after doing the activity?
3. With previous activities, how would you describe your relationship
with your parents? Siblings? Possible or current romantic
relationship? Friends?
4. Which relationship is most Important to you? Why?
5. In what ways do you express your feelings, whether positive or
negative?
6. If your relationship is not doing very well, what can you do about it?
I know the signs of a healthy relationship:
put a heart before each statement that you think is a sign of a healthy
relationship; put an X on each statement that you think is a sign of an
unhealthy relationship
• You can express your opinion without fear of dread.
• You and your partner can make decisions together and fairly.
• Each person takes responsibility for their own actions.
• Your partner respects your feeling about sex.
• Your partner supports you and your choices-even when they disagree
with you.
• You respect and encourage her.
• You give each other space to study or hang out with friends or family.
I know the signs of a healthy relationship:
put a heart before each statement that you think is a sign of a healthy
relationship; put an X on each statement that you think is a sign of an
unhealthy relationship
• You are able to make your own decisions about spending your money
without worrying about your partner’s reaction.
• You can discuss pregnancy and parenting decisions and your view is
respected.
• You feel isolated from friends and family.
• Your partner tries to control how you spend time and who you hang
out with.
• Your partner tries to control how you spend money.
I know the signs of a healthy relationship:
put a heart before each statement that you think is a sign of a healthy
relationship; put an X on each statement that you think is a sign of an
unhealthy relationship
• Your partner doesn’t support your decisions.
• You are sometimes forced to do something that you’re not
comfortable with.
• Your partner threatens, insults or humiliates you
• Your partner hurts you physically or emotionally
• Your partner doesn’t keep your secret safe
• Your partner undermines your decisions about pregnancy and
parenting.
Keeping Healthy Relationships
• Good relationships are fun and make you feel good
about yourself. The relationships that you make in
your youth years will be a special part of your life and
will teach you some of the most important lessons
about who you are. Truly good relationships take time
and energy to develop. All relationships should be
based on respect and honesty, and this is especially
important when you decide to date someone.
In a healthy relationship, both partners:
• Are treated with kindness and respect
• Are honest with each other
• Like to spend time together
• Take an interest in things that are important to each other
• Respect one another's; emotional, physical and sexual limits.
• Can speak honesty about their feelings.
Love should never hurt
• Dating relationships can be wonderful, But while its important that dating
partners care for each other, its just as important that you take care of
yourself! About 10% of high school students say they have suffered violence
from someone they date. This includes physical abuse where someone causes
physical pain or injury to another person. This can involve hitting, slapping or
kicking.
• Sexual abuse is also a type of violence, and involves any kind of unwanted
sexual advance. It can include everything from unwelcome sexual comments
to kissing to intercourse. But abuse doesn’t always mean that someone hits or
hurts your body. Emotional abuse is anything that harms your self-esteem or
causes shame. This includes saying things that hurt your feelings, make you
feel that you aren’t worthwhile, or trying to control who see or where you go.
Remember;

• You deserve healthy, happy relationships.

Abuse of any type is never OKAY.
Abuse and assault
Love should never hurt. But sometimes it does:
• 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men will be sexually assaulted in their
lifetime.
• 1.5 million women are sexually assaulted or otherwise physically
abused by their partners each year.
• Over 800,000 males are sexually or physically abuse by partners.
• Abuse can occur in any type of relationship-gay and straight, casual
and long term, young and old.
• About 10% of high school students say that have suffered violence
from someone they date.
• If you are-or have been-in a relationship where
you where mistreated. Its very easy to blame
yourself. The problem is with the abuser, though,
not you. Its not your fault! Anyone can be
abused-boys and girls, men and women, gay or
straight, young and old- and anyone can become
an abuser.
Break the silence: Stop the Violence
• If may shock you to know that one out of every
eleven teens being hit or physically hurt by a
boyfriend or girlfriend in the past twelve
months. But why is that, and how can we change
it? In ‘Break the silence: Stop the violence,”
parents talk with teens about developing
healthy, respectful relationships before they
start dating.
Making the decisions:

Deciding whether or NOT to have SEX.

The decision of whether or not to have sex is
up to you, and you alone.
• Therefore don’t be afraid to say “NO” if that’s how you feel. Having
sex for the first for the first time can be a huge emotional event.
There are many questions and feelings that you may want to sort out
before you actually get “in the heat of the moment. Ask your self:
• Am I really ready to have sex?
• How am I going to feel after I having sex?
• Am I doing this for the right reasons?
• How do I plan to protect myself/my partner from sexually transmitted
infections or pregnancy?
• How am I going to feel about my partner afterwards?
• The best way to prepare for the decision to have sex is to become
comfortable with communicating about your needs. If you don’t feel right
about something, say so! Anyone who challenges your choices about
whether or not to have sex is not giving you the respect that you deserve.
Pay attention to your feelings, and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty
for making decisions that are right for you.
• There are countless nonsexual ways to show someone you love them. You
can show a person you care for them by spending time with them. Go to
the movies, or just hang out and talk. If you are with someone you really
like, then anything can be fun. There are also ways to feel physically close
without having sex. These include everything from kissing and hugging to
touching each other. Just remember that if you’re not careful these
activities can lead to sex. Plan beforehand just how far you want to go,
and stick to your limits. It can be difficult to say “NO” and mean it when
things get hot and heavy.
Taking to your parents
• You probably think that talking to your parents about sex is
impossible. You’re not alone; 83 percent of kids your age are afraid to
ask their parents about sex. Yet 51 percent of teens actually do. So,
kids are not only talking to their parents about sex, they’re also
benefiting from conversations they were afraid to have in the first
place! Lucky them, right? The truth is that most parents want to help
their kids make smart decisions about sex. They know its vital for
teens to have accurate information and sound advice to aid the
decision-making process.
• If you think your parents are really nervous about
raising the issue your probably right. Many parents
think that if they acknowledge their child as a sexual
being, their son or daughter will think that if they
acknowledge their child as a sexual being, their son or
daughter will think its okay to go ahead and have sex.
They might also be afraid that if they don’t have all
the answers, they’ll look foolish. Some parents have
said, they’re afraid kids will ask personal questions
about their sex life, questions they wont want to
answer.
Peer Pressure
• Is always tough to de, especially when it comes to sex. Some
teenagers decide to have sexual al with relationship because their
friends think sex is cool. Others feel pressured by the person they are
dating. Some teenagers get caught up in the romantic feelings and
believe having sex is the best way they can improve their love.
• But remember, NOT EVERY PERSON YOUR AGE IS HAVING SEX. Even
sometimes it feels like everyone is “doing it.” it is important to realize
that this is not true.
• Knowing how you feel about yourself is the first big step in handling
peer pressure. Its OK to want to enjoy your teens and all fun times
that can be had. Its OK to respect yourself enough to sat “NO, I’M
NOT READY TO HAVE SEX.”
How to avoid Peer or date pressure
If you’re worried about pressured or you are currently experiencing it, know that
you are not alone and there is something you can do about it.
• Hang out with friends who also believe that it’s OK to not be ready for sex yet.
• Go out with a group of friends rather that only your date.
• Introduce your friends to your parents.
• Invite your friends at home.
• Stick up for your friends if they are being pressured to have sex.
• Think of what you would say in advance in case someone tries to pressure you.
• Always carry money for a telephone call or cab in case you feel uncomfortable.
• Be ready to call your mom, dad, or a friend to pick you up if you need to leave a
date.
• Never feel obligated to “pay someone back” with sex in return for a date or gift.
• Say “NO” and mean “NO” if that how you feel.
Drugs and Alcohol
• In a survey of young people ages 15-24, 9 out of 10 people surveyed
reported that their peers use alcohol or illegal drugs before sex at least
some of the time. Seven out of 10 also reported that condoms are not
always used when alcohol and drugs are involved. Twenty-nine percent of
those teens and young adults surveyed said they’re “done more” sexually
while under the influence of drugs or alcohol then they normally would
have when sober.
• The effects of drugs and alcohol can make it hard to think clearly, let alone
make the best possible decision about sex. While you’re under the
influence of drugs or alcohol it is easy to make decision about sex. While
you’re under the influence of drugs or alcohol it is easy to make decision
you’ll regret later-decisions that can lead to a sexually transmitted infection
or an unwanted pregnancy. Even worse, there are some people who will
use the effects of alcohol and other drugs to force you into having sex with
them.
Basic Rights in all RELATIONSHIP
• The right to emotional support
• The right to be heard by other and to respond
• The right to have your own point of view, even if this differs from your
partner’s
• The right to have your feelings and experiences acknowledge as real
• The right to live free from accusation and blame
• The right to live free from emotional and physical threat
• The right to live free from angry outburst and rage
• The right to be respectfully asked, rather than ordered
In addition to these basic relationships rights, consider how
you can develop patience, honesty, kindness and respect.
• Patience- Patience is essential to a healthy relationships.
There are times when others will respond to us in a way that
is disappointing. When this occurs. It is important to
communicate our disappointment, but also to give the other
person space. Be willing to give the person some time to
reflect, indicating that you are ready to talk when they are
ready. If the person is never ready to discuss the situation,
you may need professional help to resolve the issue, or ask
yourself whether or not you want to continue the
relationship.
Honesty
• Honesty is another essential quality in healthy relationships. To build
honesty in a relationship, you should communicate your feelings openly
and expect the other person to do the same, this build trust.

Kindness
• Kindness is extremely important to maintaining healthy relationships.
You need to be considerate of other’s feelings and other people need
to be considerate of yours. Be kind when you communicate. Kindness
will nurture your relationships. Note that being kind does not
necessarily mean being nice
Respect
• Respect is a cornerstone of all healthy
relationships. I you don’t have respect for
another person. It will have a negative impact on
all of your interactions. Think of a time when you
encountered someone who didn’t respect you.
How did it feel? What are some ways that you
show respect to others.
Assignment: Poster on Basic Rights in
Relationships
• On a piece of paper, sketch or draw or design a poster
which shows one’s basic rights in relationship.