“The art of communication is

the language of leadership.”

~ James Humes
 CONFLICT MANAGEMENT &
ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION

Myra Gevero – Julia, MM

Session Objectives
 Conflict Management and Assertive Communication
 Identify Types and Sources of Conflict in the Workplace
 Acquire knowledge on the MPAR Tool as a mechanism to
manage potential conflicts
 Exercise:
Tribal Wars
 Group Together (The Boat is sinking)
 Give yourself a name and create your tribal cheer. Just short
and exciting
 Cheer!
 The instructions are simple. Everyone as a team, claim your
territory and mark your territory.You are to defend your
territory from all invaders.
 Now, you are experiencing some hard times, and the elders
have spoken: It is time to invade other territories and expand
our areas to survive.
 Go into a huddle and discuss where will you go.
 When I say invade the area, please remember to save the
women and children and try not to harm anyone.
What is...?

CONFLICT
Conflict
 Is a condition where individuals, groups or
societies disagree on or are dissatisfied with
something valuable to them.
 If not resolved or managed well, this
disagreement affects the involved parties in a
negative way.
Why do conflicts happen?
Why do conflicts happen?
 Lack of/or inadequate information
 Communication gaps, strong emotions
regarding relationships
 Contrasting/opposing values
 Interest-based conflicts
 Structural conflicts
Why do conflicts happen?
And....
We are born having different views in so many
ways, situations, decisions, etc.
Types of Conflict in the Workplace
 Data Conflicts – both parties lack
information or are misinformed
 Relationship conflicts – due to
negativity history, communication gap,
strong emotions, clouding the issue
 Conflicts over values – arise when
differing values are imposed on others.
Types of Conflict in the Workplace
 Interest conflicts (needs) – one or more
parties believe that in order to satisfy an
interest or needs, the needs or interest of
the opponent must be sacrificed.
 Conflicts about structure – relates to
limiting factors, external to the parties
involved which create difficulties that they
cannot resolve.
 COW
PERSONALITY
TEST
1. If your cow is drawn toward the Top of your paper, you are an optimistic person with a positive
attitude. You generally anticipate the best possible outcomes of actions and events. In other
words, you see the glass as half full.
2. If your cow is drawn toward the Bottom of your paper, you tend to be more of a pessimistic
person.You generally expect the worst. You see the glass as half empty.
3. If your cow is drawn toward the Middle of your paper, you are a realist who tends to face facts
and deal with them realistically. You see the glass as dirty and put it in the dishwasher.
4. If your cow is drawn facing Left, you believe in tradition, are friendly, outgoing and tend to
remember dates and birthdays. Hint for husbands: remember your wife's birthday but never her
age.
5. If your cow is drawn facing Right, you are innovative and active but not as good about
remembering dates.
6. If your cow is drawn facing Forward, you are direct, straightforward, welcome discussion, and
often enjoy playing the devil's advocate.
7. If your cow is drawn with Many Details, you are analytical, cautious, careful and may be
distrustful.
8. If your cow is drawn with Few Details, you are more impulsive, care little for detail and are
willing to take risks.
9. If your cow is drawn with 4 Legs showing, you are secure, stick to your ideals, and can be
stubborn.
10. If your cow is drawn with Less than 4 Legs showing, you may be insecure, uncertain, or living
through a period of major change.
11. The Larger the cow's Ears you have drawn, the better Listener you are.
12. And last but not least, the Longer the cow's Tail you have drawn, the more satisfied you are
with the quality of your love life.
Copyright - © Institute of Psycho Ceramics (crackpots)
Game!
UNRAVEL
Objective of the Game:
 Disconnect from your partner in 5 minutes.

Rules:
1. Your wrist loops must stay on your wrists throughout
the entire activity.
2. The shoestring may not be cut.
3. The knots may not be untied.
4. If partners get tangled up, you are allowed to take your
hands out of the wrist loops and start all over again.
Debriefing
 How was the experience for you?
 What steps did you find easy? What worked?
 Were there any steps that were difficult or challenging for
you? What didn’t work?
 What could you have done differently?
 What skills did you need to use to make this happen
effectively?
 MPAR Tool
By Menchie Diokno, ICLD
If you put your actions together, they form a process.
This is the context we operate from.
If we put actions, processes and mindsets together, whether
we like it or not, these produce RESULTS.
The key is to distinguish between the perception or mindset and
what really happened, or where is “it” coming from.
The key is to distinguish between the perception or mindset and
what really happened, or where is “it” coming from.
Mindsets
 Are hidden from our view.
 It is our blindspot.
 Unlike actions and process, which we can see and observe,
mindsets are not.
 Most of the time, we don’t even know our mindsets.
 Mindsets drive our processes and actions.
 Mindset is the context where we are coming from while
actions and processes are the things we do. We implement
and execute them.
 Mindsets is how are we BEING. (Kung paano tayo nagiging)
 And whether we like it or not, all these three combined, will
produce results.
Mindsets
 The Key is to distinguish the mindset or perception and
determine what really happened. That is what you need in
performing your individual work, being a leader in your
department.
Exercise:
 Write down all the thoughts you have being a Treasury
personnel. Write down your positive thoughts and do the
same, in another column, your negative thoughts.

 Pick a partner. Share this thoughts to him/her. Take turns.

POSITIVE THOUGHTS

VS.

NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Now, if this is your mindset, what can you do
about this? You can choose to keep it OR you
can choose to let it go.

What kind of MINDSET will work for you as a

Treasury Personnel?
The MWHR Tool
Enables you to see things clearly and objectively. This tool
also encourages you to ask questions and to clarify
information.

M – Mindsets

WH – What Happened

R – Results
The MWHR Tool
M – Mindsets (e.g. Perceptions, feelings, emotions, etc.)

WH – What Happened (e.g. What did he/she say? Who

were involved? When did it happen? How much? How
often?)

R – Results
 ASSERTIVE
COMMUNICATION
Session Objectives
 Assertive Communication
 Acquire knowledge on:
 The importance of assertive communication among other forms of
communication
 W.I.S.H approach
 Benefits of using Assertive Communication
What is...?

ASSERTIVE
COMMUNICATION
Assertive Communication
- Being assertive is a
core communication skill.
- Being assertive means that you express
yourself effectively and stand up for your point
of view, while also respecting the rights and
beliefs of others.
- Being assertive can also help boost your
self-esteem and earn others' respect.
Why choose assertive communication
 Because it is based on mutual respect.
 It's an effective and diplomatic communication style. Being
assertive shows that you respect yourself because you're
willing to stand up for your interests and express your
thoughts and feelings. It also demonstrates that you're
aware of the rights of others and are willing to work on
resolving conflicts.
 IN LIFE..
There are so many things
we are asked to do
but we don’t like to do…

How do you respond to it?

Passive Behavior
 You may routinely say things such as "I'll just go with
whatever the group decides." You tend to avoid
conflict.

 Why is that a problem? Because the message you're

sending is that your thoughts and feelings aren't as
important as those of other people. In essence, when
you're too passive, you give others the license to
disregard your wants and needs.
Passive Behavior
The internal conflict that can be created by a passive
behavior. It can lead to:

 Stress
 Resentment
 Seething anger
 Feelings of victimization
 Desire to exact revenge
Aggressive Behavior
 You may come across as a bully who disregards the needs,
feelings and opinions of others.You may appear self-
righteous or superior.Very aggressive people humiliate
and intimidate others and may even be physically
threatening.

 You may think that being aggressive gets you what you
want. However, it comes at a cost. Aggression undercuts
trust and mutual respect. Others may come to resent you,
leading them to avoid or oppose you.
Passive – Aggressive Behavior
You may say yes when you want to say no.You may be
sarcastic or complain about others behind their backs.
Rather than confront an issue directly, you may show your
anger and feelings through your actions or negative
attitude.You may have developed a passive-aggressive
style because you're uncomfortable being direct about
your needs and feelings.
Passive – Aggressive Behavior
What are the drawbacks of a passive-aggressive
communication style? Over time, passive-aggressive
behavior damages relationships and undercuts mutual
respect, thus making it difficult for you to get your goals
and needs met.
Assertive Behavior
 Direct and respectful. Being assertive gives you the best
chance of successfully delivering your message. If you
communicate in a way that's too passive or too
aggressive, your message may get lost because people are
too busy reacting to your delivery.
How?
 Assess your style. Do you voice your opinions or
remain silent? Do you say yes to additional work even
when your plate is full? Are you quick to judge or blame?
Do people seem to dread or fear talking to you?
Understand your style before you begin making changes.
 Practice saying no. If you have a hard time turning
down requests, try saying, "No, I can't do that now."
 Rehearse what you want to say. If it's challenging to
say what you want or think, practice typical scenarios you
encounter.
How?
 Use body language. Communication isn't just verbal. Act
confident even if you aren't feeling it. Keep an upright posture,
but lean forward a bit. Make regular eye contact. Maintain a
neutral or positive facial expression. Don't cross your arms or
legs.
 Keep emotions in check. Conflict is hard for most people.
Maybe you get angry or frustrated, or maybe you feel like
crying. These feelings are normal, they can get in the way of
resolving conflict. If you feel too emotional going into a
situation, wait a bit if possible. Then work on remaining calm.
Breathe slowly. Keep your voice even and firm.
 Start small. At first, practice your new skills in situations
that are low risk. Ex: a partner or friend before tackling a
difficult situation at work. Evaluate yourself afterward and
tweak your approach as necessary.
How?
 Use 'I' statements. Using "I" statements lets others
know what you're thinking or feeling without sounding
accusatory. For instance, say, "I disagree," rather than,
"You're wrong." If you have a request, say "I would like
you to help with this" rather than "You need to do this."
Keep your requests simple and specific.
 You can sort conflicts without inflaming situations.
Example:
Rosanna: Hello Mam Bella, meron po akong proposal.
Maaring mag improve ang collection efficiency rating kung
magkakaroon tayo ng one stop shop kada barangay in an
annual basis.
Mam Bella: Nope, I disagree. Mali yan.
Example:
Rosanna: Hello Mam Bella, meron po akong proposal.
Maaring mag improve ang collection efficiency rating kung
magkakaroon tayo ng one stop shop kada barangay in an
annual basis.
Mam Bella: Nope, I disagree. Mali yan.
Rosanna: Pero mam, meron po akong data from our needs
assessment survey na sinasabi ng stakeholders na mas
gusto nila ito.
Example:
Rosanna: Hello Mam Bella, meron po akong proposal.
Maaring mag improve ang collection efficiency rating kung
magkakaroon tayo ng one stop shop kada barangay in an
annual basis.
Example:
Rosanna: Hello Mam Bella, meron po akong proposal.
Maaring mag improve ang collection efficiency rating kung
magkakaroon tayo ng one stop shop kada barangay in an
annual basis.
Mam Bella: Hmm, meron akong ibang pananaw niyan.
Rosanna: Ah ganun po ba mam, ano po sa tingin niyo?
 “I” messages don’t blame or shame other people. It
expresses your opinion in a more understandable way.

Example:
You should have told me OR I didn’t know
You never listen OR I’d like you to listen to me
You’re lazy OR I’d like some help with the computations
here
Example:
Rosanna: Sa tingin ko mam, kelangan nating mag validate ng
results and tingnan yung trend kung saan talaga sila
nagbabayad?
Mam Bella: Para sa akin naman, baka mas lalo tayong
matatagalan, kasi we will conduct again a validation survey
and it may entail cost.
Example:
Rosanna: Sa tingin ko mam, kelangan nating mag validate ng
results and tingnan yung trend kung saan talaga sila
nagbabayad?
Mam Bella: Para sa akin naman, baka mas lalo tayong
matatagalan, kasi we will conduct again a validation survey
and it may entail cost
Rosanna: Ah okay po, how about po kung tingnan na lang
natin ang data ng collections compared last year na wala
tayong one stop shop and nung isang buwan that we
tested a one stop shop sa barangay?
Mam Bella: Okay sige, tingnan natin, maybe it will work.
W.I.S.H. (Eleanor Shakiba)

When

I find / feel

Suggestion

How
Example:
Rosanna: Hello Mam Bella, meron po akong proposal.
Maaring mag improve ang collection efficiency rating kung
magkakaroon tayo ng one stop shop kada barangay in an
annual basis.
Mam Bella: Nope, I disagree. Magiging costly and time
consuming yan.
Example:
Rosanna: Hello Mam Bella, meron po akong proposal.
Maaring mag improve ang collection efficiency rating kung
magkakaroon tayo ng one stop shop kada barangay in an
annual basis.
Mam Bella: Nope, I disagree. Magiging costly and time
consuming yan.
Rosanna: Okay po, alam niyo po, kung nakakarinig po ako ng
salitang failure (when), ang pakiramdam ko po is wala ng
pagasa (I feel), so tingin ko po, baka pde nating pag usapan
muna ung idea bago natin sabihing hindi po ito
magwowork(suggestion). Sa tingin niyo po, okay kayang
pag usapan muna natin? (How).
Mam Bella: Okay, sige, pag usapan natin.
W.I.S.H.
When – is to describe in a neutral, non-judgemental,
objective way a situation

I find / feel – is stating the impact of that situation on you

without suggesting blame.

Suggestion – propose a solution or request a change in

behavior

How – invite the party to cooperate with your request.

Other examples: WISH to request feedback
 Karen: Jeanie, nung nagpe-present ako ng aking report,
may ginagawa ka sa laptop mo, hindi ka nakatingin (When),
So parang feeling ko hindi maganda ung report ko (I feel),
baka pdeng makahingi ng feedback kung ok lang ba un or
may kelangan pang idagdag to improve? Ano sa tingin mo?
 Jeanie: Ok Karen, I think okay naman ung report mo,
medyo na distract lang ako dahil message ng message si
Boss.
Other examples: WISH to request change in
behavior
 Gisela: Sir Bert sorry, hindi ko po mapa-pass yung report
ngayon, pde po bang bukas na lang?
Other examples: WISH to request change in
behavior
 Gisela: Sir Bert sorry, hindi ko po mapa-pass yung report
ngayon, pde po bang bukas na lang?
 Bert: Okay Gisela, pasensha ka na, pero nagpag-usapan
natin and pumayag ka na okay lang sa iyo na ung report
must be due this 12nn ngayon (When), Kelangan ko sana
ung report talaga kahit by lunch time ngayon (need), para
maka prepare ako sa meeting ko with the big bosses
tomorrow. Sa tingin mo, paano kita matutulungan (How)?
 Gisela: Okay sir sorry,. Unahin ko na lang po ito bag ung
ibang report ko.
 Bert: Thanks Gisela. Appreciate your help.
Other examples: WISH to respond to
attaching behavior
 Annette: Ano to Julia! Kulang na naman ang report and
ung remitted amount mo?! Bakit ganito lagi?
Other examples: WISH to respond to
attaching behavior
 Annette: Ano to Julia! Kulang na naman ang report and
ung remitted amount mo?! Bakit ganito lagi?
 Julia: Sandali lang po, if may nangyayaring sigawan (When),
hindi ako nakaka-focus (I feel). Ganito na lang po, titingnan
ko na lang itong report and i-che-check ko ung money
count and bigyan po kita ng feedback agad agad
(suggestion). Ok lang po ba bigyan niyo ako ng kalahating
oras? (How).
W.I.S.H.
When – is to describe in a neutral, non-judgemental,
objective way a situation

I find / feel – is stating the impact of that situation on you

without suggesting blame.

Suggestion – propose a solution or request a change in

behavior

How – invite the party to cooperate with your request.

Benefits of being assertive
Behaving assertively can help you:

 Gain self-confidence and self-esteem

 Understand and recognize your feelings
 Earn respect from others
 Improve communication
 Create win-win situations
 Improve your decision-making skills
 Create honest relationships
 Gain more job satisfaction
Sources:
 Barangay Justice Advocates Training Manual, Gerry Roxas Foundation, 2011.
 Landmark Forum 2011. http://www.landmarkworldwide.com/the-landmark-
forum/syllabus
 Stress Management. Mayo Clinic. http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-
lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/assertive/art-20044644
 How to speak assertively with I statements, Eleanor Shakiba,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sswGv9iH-4o
MARAMING
SALAMAT
PO!