EISTER’s POSTULATE

• Emotions are important because

if we did not have them, nothing
else would matter...

• Emotions are the stuff of

life…….. ….The most important
bond or the glue that links us
together
 ROLE OF EMOTIONS IN
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

Definition

• Interpersonal communication is an exchange of information

between two or more people

• During interpersonal communication there is message

sending and message receiving

Perspective

• Quality of our Interpersonal Communication will determine

the Quality of our Work and Quality of our Life

• Interpersonal Communication Skills can be learnt

4
 COMPONENTS OF INTERPERSONAL
COMMUNICATION

Conversation

Listening

Body language

“Emotional Awareness”

Personal Appearance
5
 EMOTIONAL AWARENESS

Provides us tools needed for

understanding both oneself and other
people, and real messages which are
communicated to us

Emotional awareness helps us to……..

• Understand and empathize with what is really troubling other
people
• Understand yourself, incl what’s really troubling you and what
you really want
• Stay motivated to understand and empathize with the person
you’re interacting with, even if you don’t like them or their
message
• Communicate clearly and effectively, even when delivering
negative messages
• Build strong, trusting, and rewarding relationships, think
6
creatively, solve problems, and resolve conflicts
 EMOTIONAL AWARENESS

Emotional awareness is a skill you can learn

• Develop emotional awareness by learning how to get in touch

with difficult emotions and manage uncomfortable feelings
• Anger, Sadness, Fear, Disgust, Surprise, and Joy

When you know how to do this, you can remain in

control of your emotions and behaviour, even in very
challenging situations

• It will help you to communicate more clearly and

effectively.

7
 EMOTIONS

Emotions are physiological, behavioural, and/or

communicative reactions to stimuli that are cognitively
processed and experienced as emotional (Planlap, Fitness,
& Fehr, 2006)

Emotion is "the body's multidimensional response to any

event that enhances or inhibits one's goals.“
 UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONS

Responses that involve:

• Psychological Arousal
• Expressive Behaviours
• Conscious Experience

Did you make it into the football team?

Posting of the names on the locker rooms. You and your friend
both tried out for the football team.

• Psychological – Increased heart rate as you read the good news,

decreased heart rate as you console your disappointed friend
• Expressive – Smiling and pumping yourself first after seeing your name,
looking the smile and putting your arm around your friend’s shoulder
when you notice his name is missing
• Conscious – Interpreting what it means to be a member, and what it
means to your friend to be left out
 WHO IS EMOTIONAL

Humans are the most emotional amongst

different species

Debatable Statement

• What comes first, psychological arousal or the subjective

experience of an emotion?
• Do you feel happy because your heart is pounding or is your
heart pounding because you feel happy?
• Can we react emotionally before appraising a situation, or does
thinking always precede emotion?
• Did you feel joy at seeing your name on the list before you
thought about what that meant, or did you interpret the situation
and then feel joy?
 THEORIES OF EMOTION

William James – Carl Lange Theory

Our experience of emotion is our awareness of our

physiological responses to an emotion-arousing stimulus

Example: Fire alarm sounds, you start shaking, you become aware of the shaking
and you label this reaction as fear
 THEORIES OF EMOTION

Walter Cannon-Bard Theory

• Emotion-arousing stimulus simultaneously triggers

• Physiological responses
• Subjective experience of emotion
Heart races whether we’re frightened, angry or
exhilarated. So how can we label that as fear if it is
because we are excited?

How can the same physiological reaction trigger different

emotional interpretations ?

Peeling
an onion
 THEORIES OF EMOTION

2 Factor Theory by Stanley Schachter and Jermone Singer

• To experience emotion, one must

• Be physically aroused
• Cognitively label the arousal, to distinguish characteristic
among emotions we are feeling
Our physical experiences of emotion are so similar that we
must label the emotion in order to experience it
• If you are aroused and you believe that appropriate emotion is
fear, you’ll feel AFRAID
• If you think anger is the appropriate emotion, you’ll instead
explain your arousal as ANGER
TYPES OF EMOTIONS
 PRIMARY EMOTIONS

Innate emotions that are experienced for short periods

of time and appear rapidly, usually as a reaction to an
outside stimulus, and are experienced similarly across
cultures

Primary emotions are joy, distress,

anger, fear, surprise, and disgust

Members of a remote tribe in New Guinea, who had

never been exposed to Westerners, were able to identify
these basic emotions when shown photographs of US
Americans making corresponding facial expressions
 SECONDARY EMOTIONS

Not as innate as primary emotions and they do not have a

corresponding facial expression that makes them
universally recognizable

Processed by a different part of the brain that requires

higher order thinking; therefore, they are not reflexive

Love, Guilt, Shame, Embarrassment, Pride, Envy, and

jealousy are emotions develop over time, take longer to
fade away, and are interpersonal because they are most
often experienced
 SECONDARY EMOTIONS

You can be fearful of a the dark but feel guilty about an unkind
comment made to your mother or embarrassed at the thought of
doing poorly on a presentation in front of an audience

Since these require more processing, they are more easily

influenced by thoughts and can be managed, which means we
can become more competent communicators by becoming more
aware of how we experience and express secondary emotions

Although there is more cultural variation in the meaning and

expression of secondary emotions, they are still universal in
that they are experienced by all cultures.
TYPICAL EMOTIONS

Anger

Anxiety

Content

Disgust

Fear

Gratitude

Guilt
TYPICAL EMOTIONS

Happiness

Jealousy

Joy

Pleasure

Relief

Sadness

Surprise
 ROLE OF EMOTIONS
IN
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
 EFFECT OF EMOTIONS

Emotional expression has a tremendous effect on health and

well-being

Physiological Effects
• Emotional suppression increases risk of physical problems such as,
cancer, asthma, heart disease (DeAngelis, 1992)
• Emotional inhibition also causes a increased risk for psychological
problems, such as, anxiety or depression (Krause et al., 2003)
• Overly aggressive expression can lead to high blood pressure and
increased stress (Mayne, 1993)

Relational Effects
• Pent-up emotions are harder to control and more likely to be expressed
violently
• Lack of expression leads to relationship stagnation
• Healthy emotional expression increases intimacy, promotes relationship
growth, and allows problems to be fixed before they escalate
STIPULATES FOR HEALTHY
EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION
 RECOGNISE YOUR FEELINGS

Pay attention to your body

Know your “Emotional Triggers”

Don’t underestimate the Importance of Feelings

Watch your Gestures

 CHOOSE THE BEST LANGUAGE

“Wanting” isn’t the same thing as “Feeling”

Don’t rely on Common Adjectives

Be Specific

Use Metaphors or Examples

State the cause of the Emotion when possible

 SHARE MULTIPLE FEELINGS

Feelings are all related

Same event can cause many different emotions

Express as many emotions as possible

Don’t be afraid to Elaborate

 DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN
FEELING AND ACTING

Don’t try to be a Hero

Don’t pretend to feel something you don’t

Simply acting on feelings does not always

alleviate them

Feelings do not always have to lead to action

 DICTATES FOR EMOTIONAL
EXPRESSION

Accept responsibility for your Feelings

• Don’t blame others for your feelings in your expression, even if

they are the cause
• Don’t try to hide or cover up your feelings to please someone else

Choose the Best Time and Place

• Give yourself some time to prepare

• Plan out what you are going to say; write it down if you like.
• Don’t have an emotional discussion when you are tired, sick, or
under severe stress
• Devote the necessary time
• Make sure the other person is prepared to listen
 WHEN NOT TO EXPRESS EMOTIONS

If you are sure you will have difficulty controlling your

emotions

If the other person is unable to listen at that moment

If the consequences might be worse than dealing with

the emotions (authority figure)

Look for an indirect route

Enlist a third party or Mediator

 EXPRESSING POSITIVE EMOTIONS

Most people associate emotional expression with

problems or difficulties

Happiness is also an Emotion

Feel free to express happiness, confidence, success

and contentment

Praise and complement your significant other when

you are proud of them

Must be aware of the time and place

 SUMMARISATION
SUMMARY

Emotional expression is healthy and necessary for

good relationships

Know how you feel and why you feel it

Express your emotions calmly and specifically

“Acting out” isn’t necessary

Choose your time and place carefully

Don’t be afraid to express positive emotions

 MANAGING DIFFICULT EMOTIONS

Debilitative Emotions hinder or prevent effective performance and

they are exhibited by its Intensity and Duration

Irrational thoughts that can lead to such Emotions being

• Fallacy of Perfection - Very Inspiring, but Unrealistic

• Fallacy of Approval - A communicator has to constantly obtain everyone’s
approval at the cost of their principles and happiness
• Fallacy of Should - A communicator doesn’t distinguish between what is and
what should be
• Fallacy of Overgeneralization - A communicator doesn’t distinguish between
what is and what should be
• Fallacy of Causation - A communicator feels they shouldn’t do anything to hurt
or inconvenience others simply overlooking their needs
• Fallacy of Catastrophic Expectations - A communicator believes if something
bad can happen, it will whereby causing ruminations of thoughts and feelings
• Fallacy of Helplessness - Causes the communicator to feel like a victim as
forces beyond its control determine their satisfaction
 MANAGING DEBILITATIVE EMOTIONS

Monitor your emotional reactions

Note activating/triggering events

• Specific people
• Specific events

Dispute irrational events

• Why they are irrational events

• Why your have them
 EQ-I2.0 MODEL

Copyright © 1997, 2011 Multi-Health Systems Inc. All rights reserved.

 EQ-I2.0 MODEL

Self Regard
• Respecting oneself
• Strengths & weaknesses
• Inner strength & Confidence

Self Actualization
• Life purpose
• Quest to improve oneself

Emotional Self Awareness

• Recognizing and understanding one’s emotions
• Differentiation of emotions & impact
 SELF EXPRESSION

Emotional Self Expression

• Open expression of feelings
• Verbally & Non verbally
Assertiveness
• Communicating feelings, beliefs, thoughts openly
• Defending them in socially acceptable ways
• Non offensive & Non destructive
Independence
• Self directed
• Decision making, planning,
• Autonomy
 INTERPERSONAL

Interpersonal Relationships

• Developing & maintaining satisfying relationships

• Trust & Compassion

Empathy
• Recognizing, understanding, & appreciating other’s
feelings
• Articulate understanding & behave respectfully
Social Responsibility

• Contributing to society
• Acting responsible, social consciousness, concern
 DECISION MAKING

 Problem solving
 Solutions to situations that involve emotions
 Impact of emotions on decision making
 Reality Testing
 Being objective
 Recognizing emotions & personal bias
 Impulse Control
 Managing impulses
 Ability to avoid rash decisions & behaviors
 STRESS MANAGEMENT

 Flexibility
 Adapting emotions, thoughts, & behaviors to new
surroundings/situations’
 Stress Tolerance
 Coping with stressful/different situations
 Managing & influencing situations positively
 Optimism
 Remaining hopeful & resilient-despite setbacks
 Positive attitude
ALIGNMENT OF THE EQ-I 2.0 MODEL OF
EI

Copyright © 1997, 2011 Multi-Health Systems Inc.

All rights reserved.