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Children and the European Court
of Human Rights
 Children and
the European Court
of Human Rights
C L A I R E F E N T O N -​G LY N N

1
 3
Great Clarendon Street, Oxford, OX2 6DP,
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First Edition published in 2021
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 To Nuala Mole and the AIRE Centre,
who have done so much to advance the rights of all people in Europe
 Convention for the Protection of
Human Rights and Fundamental
Freedoms (Extracts)

Article 1 Obligation to respect human rights

The High Contracting Parties shall secure to everyone within their jurisdiction the
rights and freedoms defined in Section I of this Convention.

Section I Rights and freedoms

Article 2 Right to life

1. Everyone’s right to life shall be protected by law. No one shall be deprived of his
life intentionally save in the execution of a sentence of a court following his con-
viction of a crime for which this penalty is provided by law.
2. Deprivation of life shall not be regarded as inflicted in contravention of this
article when it results from the use of force which is no more than absolutely
necessary:
a. in defence of any person from unlawful violence;
b. in order to effect a lawful arrest or to prevent the escape of a person lawfully
detained;
c. in action lawfully taken for the purpose of quelling a riot or insurrection.

Article 3 Prohibition of torture

No one shall be subjected to torture or to inhuman or degrading treatment or

punishment.

Article 4 Prohibition of slavery and forced labour

1. No one shall be held in slavery or servitude.

2. No one shall be required to perform forced or compulsory labour.
3. For the purpose of this article the term ‘forced or compulsory labour’ shall not
include:
xiv CONVENTION FOR THE PROTECTION OF HUMAN RIGHTS (EXTRACTS)

a. any work required to be done in the ordinary course of detention imposed

according to the provisions of Article 5 of this Convention or during condi-
tional release from such detention;
b. any service of a military character or, in case of conscientious objectors in
countries where they are recognised, service exacted instead of compulsory
military service;
c. any service exacted in case of an emergency or calamity threatening the life
or well-​being of the community;
d. any work or service which forms part of normal civic obligations.

Article 5 Right to liberty and security

1. Everyone has the right to liberty and security of person. No one shall be de-
prived of his liberty save in the following cases and in accordance with a proce-
dure prescribed by law:
a. the lawful detention of a person after conviction by a competent court;
b. the lawful arrest or detention of a person for non-​compliance with the lawful
order of a court or in order to secure the fulfilment of any obligation pre-
scribed by law;
c. the lawful arrest or detention of a person effected for the purpose of bringing
him before the competent legal authority on reasonable suspicion of having
committed an offence or when it is reasonably considered necessary to pre-
vent his committing an offence or fleeing after having done so;
d. the detention of a minor by lawful order for the purpose of educational su-
pervision or his lawful detention for the purpose of bringing him before the
competent legal authority;
e. the lawful detention of persons for the prevention of the spreading of infec-
tious diseases, of persons of unsound mind, alcoholics or drug addicts or
vagrants;
f. the lawful arrest or detention of a person to prevent his effecting an un-
authorised entry into the country or of a person against whom action is being
taken with a view to deportation or extradition.
2. Everyone who is arrested shall be informed promptly, in a language which he
understands, of the reasons for his arrest and of any charge against him.
3. Everyone arrested or detained in accordance with the provisions of paragraph
1.c of this article shall be brought promptly before a judge or other officer au-
thorised by law to exercise judicial power and shall be entitled to trial within a
reasonable time or to release pending trial. Release may be conditioned by guar-
antees to appear for trial.
4. Everyone who is deprived of his liberty by arrest or detention shall be entitled
to take proceedings by which the lawfulness of his detention shall be decided
speedily by a court and his release ordered if the detention is not lawful.
5. Everyone who has been the victim of arrest or detention in contravention of the
provisions of this article shall have an enforceable right to compensation.
 CONVENTION FOR THE PROTECTION OF HUMAN RIGHTS (EXTRACTS) xv

Article 6 Right to a fair trial

1. In the determination of his civil rights and obligations or of any criminal charge
against him, everyone is entitled to a fair and public hearing within a reasonable
time by an independent and impartial tribunal established by law. Judgment
shall be pronounced publicly but the press and public may be excluded from all
or part of the trial in the interests of morals, public order or national security in
a democratic society, where the interests of juveniles or the protection of the pri-
vate life of the parties so require, or to the extent strictly necessary in the opinion
of the court in special circumstances where publicity would prejudice the inter-
ests of justice.
2. Everyone charged with a criminal offence shall be presumed innocent until
proved guilty according to law.
3. Everyone charged with a criminal offence has the following minimum rights:
a. to be informed promptly, in a language which he understands and in detail,
of the nature and cause of the accusation against him;
b. to have adequate time and facilities for the preparation of his defence;
c. to defend himself in person or through legal assistance of his own choosing
or, if he has not sufficient means to pay for legal assistance, to be given it free
when the interests of justice so require;
d. to examine or have examined witnesses against him and to obtain the attend-
ance and examination of witnesses on his behalf under the same conditions
as witnesses against him;
e. to have the free assistance of an interpreter if he cannot understand or speak
the language used in court.

Article 7 No punishment without law

1. No one shall be held guilty of any criminal offence on account of any act or omis-
sion which did not constitute a criminal offence under national or international
law at the time when it was committed. Nor shall a heavier penalty be imposed
than the one that was applicable at the time the criminal offence was committed.
2. This article shall not prejudice the trial and punishment of any person for any act
or omission which, at the time when it was committed, was criminal according
to the general principles of law recognised by civilised nations.

Article 8 Right to respect for private and family life

1. Everyone has the right to respect for his private and family life, his home and his
correspondence.
2. There shall be no interference by a public authority with the exercise of this
right except such as is in accordance with the law and is necessary in a demo-
cratic society in the interests of national security, public safety or the economic
xvi CONVENTION FOR THE PROTECTION OF HUMAN RIGHTS (EXTRACTS)

well-​being of the country, for the prevention of disorder or crime, for the pro-
tection of health or morals, or for the protection of the rights and freedoms of
others.

Article 9 Freedom of thought, conscience and religion

1. Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion; this right
includes freedom to change his religion or belief and freedom, either alone or in
community with others and in public or private, to manifest his religion or be-
lief, in worship, teaching, practice and observance.
2. Freedom to manifest one’s religion or beliefs shall be subject only to such limi-
tations as are prescribed by law and are necessary in a democratic society in the
interests of public safety, for the protection of public order, health or morals, or
for the protection of the rights and freedoms of others.

Article 10 Freedom of expression

1. Everyone has the right to freedom of expression. This right shall include freedom
to hold opinions and to receive and impart information and ideas without inter-
ference by public authority and regardless of frontiers. This article shall not pre-
vent States from requiring the licensing of broadcasting, television or cinema
enterprises.
2. The exercise of these freedoms, since it carries with it duties and responsibil-
ities, may be subject to such formalities, conditions, restrictions or penalties as
are prescribed by law and are necessary in a democratic society, in the interests
of national security, territorial integrity or public safety, for the prevention of
disorder or crime, for the protection of health or morals, for the protection of
the reputation or rights of others, for preventing the disclosure of information
received in confidence, or for maintaining the authority and impartiality of the
judiciary.

Article 11 Freedom of assembly and association

1. Everyone has the right to freedom of peaceful assembly and to freedom of asso-
ciation with others, including the right to form and to join trade unions for the
protection of his interests.
2. No restrictions shall be placed on the exercise of these rights other than such as
are prescribed by law and are necessary in a democratic society in the interests of
national security or public safety, for the prevention of disorder or crime, for the
protection of health or morals or for the protection of the rights and freedoms of
others. This article shall not prevent the imposition of lawful restrictions on the
 CONVENTION FOR THE PROTECTION OF HUMAN RIGHTS (EXTRACTS) xvii

exercise of these rights by members of the armed forces, of the police or of the
administration of the State.

Article 12 Right to marry

Men and women of marriageable age have the right to marry and to found a family,
according to the national laws governing the exercise of this right.

Article 13 Right to an effective remedy

Everyone whose rights and freedoms as set forth in this Convention are violated shall
have an effective remedy before a national authority notwithstanding that the viola-
tion has been committed by persons acting in an official capacity.

Article 14 Prohibition of discrimination

The enjoyment of the rights and freedoms set forth in this Convention shall be secured
without discrimination on any ground such as sex, race, colour, language, religion, po-
litical or other opinion, national or social origin, association with a national minority,
property, birth or other status.

PROTOCOL 1

Article 1 Protection of property

Every natural or legal person is entitled to the peaceful enjoyment of his possessions.
No one shall be deprived of his possessions except in the public interest and subject to
the conditions provided for by law and by the general principles of international law.
The preceding provisions shall not, however, in any way impair the right of a State
to enforce such laws as it deems necessary to control the use of property in accordance
with the general interest or to secure the payment of taxes or other contributions or
penalties.

Article 2 Right to education

No person shall be denied the right to education. In the exercise of any functions
which it assumes in relation to education and to teaching, the State shall respect the
right of parents to ensure such education and teaching in conformity with their own
religious and philosophical convictions.
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 1
Introduction

1.1 Introduction

The European Convention on Human Rights (ECHR) was not drafted with children,
still less children’s rights, in mind. At the time of drafting, the child rights movement
was in its infancy, with children predominantly seen as objects of benevolence and
recipients of special protection, rather than subjects holding individual legal rights.1
Nevertheless, over the past 60 years the European Court of Human Rights (ECtHR)
has developed a substantial and ever-​growing body of case law concerning children,
covering issues ranging from juvenile justice and physical integrity to immigration,
education, and religion. Moreover, in the sphere of private and family life the Court
has developed a ‘whole code of family law’,2 significantly expanding the Convention’s
scope and influence.
The aim of this book is to provide a detailed overview of the jurisprudence of the
Court in relation to children, from its humble and essentially paternalistic beginnings
to its recent (though still evolving) recognition of children’s individual agency. It is
hoped that it will provide a foundation for academics, practitioners, and civil society
to better understand the position of the Court in relation to children’s rights, and be
a helpful tool in advancing their protection under the Convention, both domestically
and in Strasbourg.

1.2 Background to the European Convention

on Human Rights

On 4 November 1950, the European Convention for the Protection of Human

Rights and Fundamental Freedoms was opened for signature. Intended to reflect
the ‘common desire of the Member States to build a European Union in accordance
with the principles of natural law, of humanism and of democracy’,3 the European
Convention on Human Rights, as it came to be known, came into force three years
later upon the tenth ratification.4

1 See the 1924 League of Nations Geneva Declaration on the Rights of the Child, which included such

‘rights’ as the ‘the right to be among the first to receive relief ’ and the ‘right to understanding and love by
parents and society’.
2 Marckx v Belgium (6833/​74) 13.06.1979, dissenting opinion of Judge Sir Gerald Fitzmaurice, para. 15.
3 M. Teitgen, ‘Report on the Establishment of a Collective Guarantee of Essential Freedoms and

Fundamental Rights’ (Consultative Assembly of the Council of Europe, 05.09.1949), para. 2.

4 By Demark, Germany, Greece, Iceland, Ireland, Luxembourg, Norway, Saarland (which later became

part of Germany), Sweden, and the United Kingdom.

Children and the European Court of Human Rights. Claire Fenton-​Glynn, Oxford University Press (2021). © Claire Fenton-​Glynn.
DOI: 10.1093/​oso/​9780198787518.003.0001
2 INTRODUCTION

The Convention was drafted in response to twin concerns on the part of the Allied
Powers. First, in the aftermath of the Second World War, the instrument was intended
to provide a ‘collective guarantee of essential freedoms and fundamental rights’,5 to
ensure that such atrocities would never again occur. Second, and related to this, it was
a response to the growing influence of communism in Central and Eastern Europe—​a
statement of values to represent a sense of common identity and to act as an early
warning system should a state move towards authoritarianism.6 As Guido Raimondi,
later President of the Court, stated, ‘an undemocratic state could not participate in the
ECHR system: the protection of democracy goes hand in hand with the protection of
rights’.7
The text of the Convention was based, ‘as far as possible’, on the Universal Declaration
of Human Rights,8 proclaimed by the newly formed United Nations two years earlier.9
It did not directly transpose the provisions of the Declaration, but instead chose those
rights that the founding states viewed as most ‘fundamental’, capable of inclusion in
‘an immediate international guarantee’.10 As a result, the Convention incorporates a
tradition of civil liberties and is primarily focused on civil and political rights, which
have conventionally been seen as more easily measurable and enforceable.11
Notably, the provisions of the Universal Declaration which focus on children—​for
example, requiring the provision of special care and assistance—​were not included.
Children are mentioned only twice in the main text of the Convention. First, under
Article 5(1)(d)—​the right to liberty and security—​an exception is permitted for the
detention of a minor for the purpose of educational supervision or for bringing him or
her before a legal authority. Second, Article 6(1)—​the right to a fair trial—​allows for
the exclusion of the press or public from a trial where the interests of a juvenile so re-
quire. Two further provisions relating to children were added in subsequent Protocols
to the Convention: Article 2 of Protocol 1, which protects the right to education, and
of parents to educate their children in accordance with their philosophical and reli-
gious beliefs; and Article 5 of Protocol 7, which protects equality between spouses,
with the exception that the state may take such measures ‘as are necessary in the inter-
ests of children’.12

5 M. Teitgen, ‘Report on the Establishment of a Collective Guarantee of Essential Freedoms and

Fundamental Rights’ (Consultative Assembly of the Council of Europe, 05.09.1949), para. 1.

6 S. Greer, ‘What’s Wrong with the European Convention on Human Rights?’ (2008) 30(3) Human Rights

Quarterly 680, 681.

7 G. Raimondi, ‘Immunita Parlamentari e Diritti Umani’ (2016) 1 Dritto Pubblico Europea Rassenga

online 2, 5.
8 (1948) GA Res 217A.
9 M. Teitgen, ‘Report on the Establishment of a Collective Guarantee of Essential Freedoms and

Fundamental Rights’ (Consultative Assembly of the Council of Europe, 05.09.1949), para. 1.

10 ibid., para. 11.
11 Although these have been interpreted by the Court to incorporate some social and economic dimen-

sions, as is discussed in Chapter 7.

12 This Article is not discussed further in this book, given the dearth of case law in this area. It has only

been discussed by the Court on one occasion—​the case of Chepelev v Russia (58077/​00) 26.07.2007—​in
which the Court simply stated, in two sentences, that the measures taken were in accordance with the best
interests of the child and that having regard to the assessment made under Article 8, there had been no vi-
olation of Article 5, Protocol 7. There have been further cases in which the Commission and Court have
declared an application under this section inadmissible, but none in which it has been subject to any sub-
stantive examination.
 The European Court of Human Rights 3

The lack of consideration of children’s rights in this respect is hardly surprising—​it

would take another 40 years before such rights were recognised on an international
level. Nevertheless, it has meant that the majority of cases that protect the rights of
children have in fact fallen under other, broader, adult-​focused rights—​for example,
the right to respect for private and family life under Article 8. This has had an inevi-
table impact on the way in which children’s rights have been conceptualised and en-
forced by the Court. The purpose of Article 8 is to insulate the family unit from outside
interference, subjugating children within this private sphere. It has been a long, slow
road for the Court to recognise children as their own autonomous beings with sepa-
rate rights against the state—​independent from, and sometimes in conflict with, their
parents. This is still a work in progress, as can be seen throughout this volume, but it is
at least now a journey the Court (mostly) recognises it is necessary to take.

1.3 The European Court of Human Rights

The success of the European Convention on Human Rights lies not in its provisions,
which can be described as conservative rather than radical, but in its enforcement
through the European Court of Human Rights. The intention of the drafters was to
create an independent judicial body to act as a collective enforcement mechanism of
guaranteed rights. This was expected to function primarily as an independent body to
adjudicate inter-​state complaints; however, provision was also made for individuals
to bring a complaint, very much as a secondary apparatus.13 In reality, only approxi-
mately 20 inter-​state cases have been brought before the Court in its 60-​year history, in
contrast to the hundreds of thousands brought by individuals.
It has been this right of individual petition which has distinguished the Convention
from other human rights instruments. While today the right of an individual to chal-
lenge state practice is a central feature of a large number of regional and international
human rights instruments (for example, the African Court on Human and People’s
Rights, the Inter-​American Court of Human Rights, and the majority of United
Nations (UN) treaty bodies)14 this was a significant innovation in 1950, and has been
central to the success of the Convention. It has established human rights not solely as
obligations between states—​as in traditional international treaties—​but as obligations
towards individuals, facilitating the Convention’s status as ‘hard, enforceable law’.15
Initially, the supervisory function of the Convention was carried out by two bodies.
The Commission, which acted as a filtering body, would first evaluate whether the

13 This was initially optional, but was a de facto requirement for membership of the Council of Europe for

some time, before becoming mandatory in 1998, following the coming into force of Protocol 11.
14 Human Rights Committee; Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women;

Committee against Torture; Committee on the Elimination of Racial Discrimination; Committee on

Enforced Disappearances; Committee on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights; Committee on the Rights
of the Child. The individual complaint mechanism under the Committee on Migrant Workers has not yet
entered into force.
15 Sir Humphrey Waldock (President of the Court), as quoted by E. Myjer, L. Berg, P. Kempees et al. (eds),

The Conscience of Europe: 50 Years of the European Court of Human Rights (Strasbourg: Council of Europe,
2010), 25.
4 INTRODUCTION

petition was manifestly ill-​founded or whether it should be permitted to proceed for

judicial determination before the Court. Following the ratification of Protocol 11, the
Commission was abolished, and in 1998 the Court was established as a full-​time, per-
manent institution. Further changes were instituted in 2010 to deal with the signif-
icant increase in the Court’s workload, allowing admissibility decisions to be made
by a single judge,16 who can forward the case to a Chamber of the Court for further
examination on the merits.17 In addition, following a Chamber judgment, the parties
can request that a case be referred to the Grand Chamber for re-​hearing—​often in-
correctly described as an ‘appeal’. However, this will only be accepted in cases that are
suitable for the development or clarification of the case law, in cases concerning ‘new’
issues or ‘serious issues of general importance’, or in ‘high-​profile cases’ in which an
authoritative judgment is required.18
In the first 30 years of its existence, the Court was a very minor player in the inter-
national arena—​indeed, between 1960 and 1975 it only delivered 12 judgments on
the merits. However, its workload has since grown exponentially, and over the past
ten years has averaged over 50,000 applications and 1,000 judgments per year.19 In
this way, and despite its regional nature, it has established itself as arguably the most
influential international court in existence in terms of scope, impact, and jurisdiction.

1.4 Principles of interpretation

Throughout its 60-​year history, the Court has developed a number of tools and princi-
ples to guide its interpretation of the Convention. In doing so, it must walk a fine line
between judicial independence and political necessity. On the one hand, the Court
must ensure that the Convention guarantees rights that are ‘practical and effective’,
and not merely ‘theoretical or illusory’.20 On the other, it must recognise its role as a
supranational body, which gains its legitimacy from the continued adherence and ac-
quiescence of states.
There are four primary principles of interpretation used by the Court: positive ob-
ligations; the principle of subsidiarity; the margin of appreciation; and the ‘living tree’
principle. I provide a brief outline of each below, in order to give a background to the
jurisprudence of the Court detailed in later chapters.

16 Although in cases of doubt, the judge can refer the application to a three-​judge committee to decide on

admissibility (Protocol 14, Article 7, amending Article 27 of the ECHR).

17 An exception to this is in cases where a decision can be made on the basis of well-​established case law,

in which case the judge can refer the case to a three-​judge committee, which is empowered to make a deci-
sion on the merits (Protocol 14, Article 8, amending Article 28 of the ECHR).
18 The Grand Chamber will also accept referrals in cases that concern case-​law consistency and cases

in which it may be called upon to re-​examine a development in the case law endorsed by the Chamber.
(European Court of Human Rights, ‘The General Practice Followed by the Panel of the Grand Chamber
When Deciding on Requests for Referral in Accordance with Article 43 of the Convention’ (Council of
Europe, 2011), https://​www.echr.coe.int/​Documents/​Note_​GC_​ENG.pdf)
19 European Court of Human Rights, ‘Statistical Overview 1959–​2018’ (Council of Europe, 2019), https://​

www.echr.coe.int/​Documents/​Overview_​19592018_​ENG.pdf.
20 See, for example, Airey v Ireland (6289/​73) 09.10.1979.
 Principles of interpretation 5

1.4.1 Positive obligations

Traditionally, human rights law was considered as giving rise only to negative
obligations—​that is, individual freedoms that states must refrain from interfering
with. However, the recognition of positive obligations—​i.e. obligations requiring
states to take action—​has been one of the cornerstones of the Court’s success.21 As
Starmer has observed, ‘[i]‌n many respects, positive obligations are the hallmark of the
European Convention on Human Rights’.22
Positive obligations are not explicitly set out in the text of the Convention, which is
largely framed in proscriptive, rather than prescriptive, language.23 Rather, they have
been carved out by the Court through purposive interpretation. In doing so, it has in-
tentionally declined to establish a comprehensive account of the scope of positive ob-
ligations under the Convention, preferring instead to evaluate these on a case-​by-​case
basis.24 Nevertheless, there are certain broad principles that can be identified.
First, the doctrine of positive obligations involves a recognition that in order to ‘se-
cure’ the Convention rights to all individuals within their jurisdictions—​as is required
under Article 1—​it is not enough to refrain from acting, but states must also take cer-
tain positive steps to ensure their effective enjoyment. This involves both substantive
and procedural obligations, including the obligation to provide effective mechanisms
for the prevention, detection, and reporting of abuses of Convention rights, as well as
to conduct effective investigations in response to any such allegations.
Second, and most importantly, the Court has used the doctrine of positive obli-
gations to provide the Convention with horizontal effect. The state not only has to
refrain from violating individual rights itself, but must also put in place appropriate
safeguards to protect individuals from infringement on the part of private actors. This
principle is of particular importance for children, as it acts as a limit on the action of
parents, teachers, and other individuals who may control their day-​to-​day lives.25
While the drafters of the Convention had no intention of creating such positive
obligations—​focusing purely on the freedom of the individual from ‘fascist and com-
munist inquisitorial practices’ and state ‘horrors, tyranny and vexation’26 —​the Court
has clearly rejected an originalist method of interpretation, opting instead for a pur-
posive approach to ensure the Convention’s ongoing efficacy and relevance.

21 For a comprehensive discussion of the doctrine of positive obligations under the European Convention

on Human Rights, see K. Starmer, ‘Positive Obligations under the Convention’, in J. Lowell and J. Cooper
(eds), Understanding Human Rights Principles (Oxford: Hart, 2001); L. Lavrysen, Human Rights in a
Positive State: Rethinking the Relationship between Positive and Negative Obligations under the European
Convention on Human Rights (Cambridge: Intersentia, 2017); A.R. Mowbray, The Development of Positive
Obligations under the European Convention on Human Rights by the European Court of Human Rights
(Oxford: Hart, 2004).
22 K. Starmer, ‘Positive Obligations under the Convention’, in J. Lowell and J. Cooper (eds), Understanding

Human Rights Principles (Oxford: Hart, 2001), 159.

23 With the exception of certain rights in Articles 5 and 6: for example, the right to be informed promptly

of the reasons for arrest (Article 5(2)); the right to free legal assistance in criminal proceedings where the
interests of justice require (Article 6(3)(c)).
24 See, for example, Plattform ‘Ärzte für das Leben’ v Austria (10126/​82) 21.06.1988.
25 See, for example, the jurisprudence of the Court in the area of corporal punishment, as discussed in

Chapter 2.
26 Marckx v Belgium (6833/​74) 13.06.1979, dissenting opinion of Judge Sir Gerald Fitzmaurice.
6 INTRODUCTION

1.4.2 The Convention as a living instrument

In the 70 years since the drafting of the Convention, Europe—​and European society—​
has seen dramatic changes. Advances in technology, changing demographics, and
evolving social norms mean that the Court is having to apply the Convention to
an ever-​expanding range of situations. To respond to these changes, the Court has
adopted a dynamic approach to interpretation that recognises the Convention as a
‘living instrument’, which must be read in light of present-​day conditions.27
This means that the Court’s interpretation of the Convention will change as law
and society progresses, with the recognition that the ‘failure . . . to maintain a dy-
namic and evolutive approach would risk rendering it a bar to reform or improve-
ment’.28 Thus, even where an issue has been decided previously, the Court is willing
to reassess its prior judgments in light of domestic and international developments.
A notable example of this is the characterisation of same-​sex relationships under the
Convention—​once considered as constituting only ‘private life’, now recognised as
‘family life’.29 Furthermore, treatment that may have constituted ‘inhuman and de-
grading treatment’ in the past might cross the threshold into torture in the future, as
increasingly high standards are enforced.30
As can be seen throughout this volume, for children this has meant that the Court
has shifted from a patriarchal understanding of their place in the family and society
to a recognition of their individual rights, updating the Convention in line with newly
adopted international standards.

1.4.3 The principle of subsidiarity

Despite these expansive interpretative techniques, which have broadened the scope
of the Convention beyond the original intention of the drafters, at the heart of the
Convention system lies respect for national sovereignty. This respect manifests itself
in two separate but interrelated interpretative principles: the principle of subsidiarity
and the margin of appreciation.
The principle of subsidiarity requires that the role of the Court be conceived nar-
rowly, only intervening with state practice where necessary. As evidenced by Article
13 (the right to an effective domestic remedy) and Article 35(1) (exhaustion of do-
mestic remedies), the primary responsibility for implementing and enforcing the
Convention is placed on states within their domestic legal system. The Court will in-
tercede only when it has failed in this task.31
Moreover, subsidiarity requires the Court to adopt a cautious approach to the adju-
dication of cases. It does not operate as a tribunal of fourth instance, with jurisdiction

27 Tyrer v the United Kingdom (5856/​72) 24.04.1978 (Court).

28 Stafford v the United Kingdom (46295/​99) 28.05.2002 (GC), para. 68.
29 See Schalk and Kopf v Austria (30141/​04) 24.06.2010.
30 See Selmouni v France (25803/​94) 28.07.1999 (GC).
31 Scordino v Italy (No. 1) (36813/​97) 29.03.2006 (GC).
 Principles of interpretation 7

to review any errors of law or fact alleged against the domestic judgments,32 but only
has the power to review whether the decision was made ‘in disregard of fundamental
rights.’33 In doing so, the Court will not re-​try the case: it will not investigate the facts,
nor hear witnesses and evidence afresh. Nor will it interfere with the interpretation
and application of domestic law. Rather, it will accept the determination of the do-
mestic authorities on these issues, unless there is clear evidence of arbitrariness.34
These rules are important for the functioning of the Court—​it allows this body to focus
on its role as a guarantor of fundamental rights, rather than having to undertake a fresh
investigation of the entirety of the case, while also ensuring that it does not overstep the
boundaries of the powers delegated to it by states.35 It also recognises that the role of the
Court is not to harmonise European laws, but to set common minimum standards. As
Lord Hoffman has argued, ‘at the level of abstraction, human rights may be universal’, but
at the level of application they require ‘trade-​offs and compromises, exercises of judgment
which can be made only in the context of a given society and its legal system’.36

1.4.4 The margin of appreciation

A corollary of the principle of subsidiary is the doctrine of the margin of appreciation,

which governs the interpretation of the substantive rights of the Convention. This
phrase, from the French ‘marge d’appréciation’, might be more appropriately translated
as ‘margin of discretion’,37 and provides leeway to national authorities in how they
choose to implement Convention rights according to the particular needs, circum-
stances, and resources of their state. Underlying this doctrine is the recognition of
the cultural, social, and legal variety amongst member states,38 and the understanding
that national authorities should be given a certain degree of latitude when resolving
conflicts between individual rights and national interests.39

32 See, for example, Belgian Linguistic Case (1474/​62, 1677/​62, 1691/​62, 1769/​63, 1994/​63, 2126/​64)

23.07.1968; Strand Lobben and others v Norway (37283/​13) 10.09.2019 (GC).

33 M. Teitgen, ‘Report on the Establishment of a Collective Guarantee of Essential Freedoms and

Fundamental Rights’ (Consultative Assembly of the Council of Europe, 05.09.1949), para. 26.
34 Sisojeva and others v Latvia (60654/​00) 15.01.2007.
35 Jurisconsult of the European Court of Human Rights, ‘Interlaken Follow-​Up. Principle of Subsidiarity’

(2010), http://​www.echr.coe.int/​Documents/​2010_​Interlaken_​Follow-​up_​ENG.pdf. This is particularly

the case following the Brighton Declaration of the High-​Level Conference on the Future of the European
Court of Human Rights, and Protocol 15 which resulted from it.
36 Lord Hoffmann, ‘The Universality of Human Rights’ (Judicial Studies Board Annual Lecture,

19.03.2009), https://​www.judiciary.uk/​wp-​content/​uploads/​2014/​12/​Hoffmann_​2009_​JSB_​Annual_​
Lecture_​Universality_​of_​Human_​Rights.pdf, 9.
37 Greer suggests this could be translated as ‘margin of assessment/​appraisal/​estimation’. (S. Greer, The

Margin of Appreciation: Interpretation and Discretion under the European Convention on Human Rights
(Strasbourg: Council of Europe, 2000), 5)
38 See F. Matscher, ‘Methods of Interpretation of the Convention’ in R.S.J. MacDonald, F. Matscher, and

H. Petzold, The European System for the Protection of Human Rights (Dordrecht: Kluwer, 1993).
39 See E. Benvenisti, ‘Margin of Appreciation, Consensus, and Universal Standards’ (1999) 31

International Law and Politics 843. For a critique of this principle, see Chapter 12.
8 INTRODUCTION

This principle is used primarily (though not exclusively) in relation to complaints

arising under Articles 8–​11—​the so called ‘qualified rights’.40 These rights—​to respect
for private and family life (Article 8), to freedom of religion (Article 9), to freedom of
expression (Article 10), and to freedom of assembly (Article 11)—​all contain a limita-
tions clause allowing an interference with the right if it is in accordance with the law,
pursues a legitimate aim, and is ‘necessary in a democratic society’; that is, where there
is a relationship of proportionality between the aim and the interference. It is in deter-
mining this relationship of proportionality that the Court allows national authorities
room for manoeuvre through the doctrine of the ‘margin of appreciation’.
The scope of the margin of appreciation is not identical in each case and cannot be
reduced to a simple or predictable scientific formula.41 Indeed, it has been described
by Lord Lester as ‘slippery and elusive as an eel’.42 It will depend on a number of factors,
including the nature of the right in issue and the object pursued by the interference.43
Thus, the margin of appreciation will be narrower where the case concerns an intimate
aspect of the individual’s existence or identity or is crucial to the effective enjoyment
of a ‘core’ value;44 however, it will be more extensive where the aim of the restriction
relates to the protection of morals or invokes social and economic policies.45 In such
cases, the Court considers that national authorities’ knowledge of their society and its
needs mean that they are better placed to determine what is in the public interest and
to decide whether a measure is indeed necessary in the particular circumstances.46
The Court will also look at whether a consensus exists within the contracting states,
either as to the relative importance of the interest at stake or regarding how best to
protect it.47
The result of this is that the margin of appreciation is an amorphous concept: as
Greer has argued, ‘its most striking characteristic remains its casuistic, uneven, and
largely unpredictable nature’.48 As is seen throughout this volume, the margin of ap-
preciation often comes into play in areas concerning children and the family, where
a large degree of discretion is given to states in the formulation of social policy. This
can have its advantages, particularly in securing the ongoing legitimacy of the Court,
but it can also have significant drawbacks for a progressive interpretation of children’s
rights, as is discussed in the substantive chapters.

40 See J. Kratochvil, ‘The Inflation of the Margin of Appreciation by the European Court of Human Rights’

(2011) 29(3) Netherlands Quarterly of Human Rights 324.

41 S. Greer, The Margin of Appreciation: Interpretation and Discretion under the European Convention on

Human Rights (Strasbourg: Council of Europe, 2000), 5.

42 A. Lester, ‘Universality versus Subsidiarity: A Reply’ (1998) 1 European Human Rights Law Review

73, 75.
43 See Dudgeon v the United Kingdom (7525/​76) 22.10.1981.
44 See ibid.; S and Marper v the United Kingdom (30562/​04, 30566/​04) 04.12.2008 (GC).
45 Handyside v the United Kingdom (5493/​ 72) 07.12.1976; Buckley v the United Kingdom (20348/​92)
25.09.1996.
46 Handyside v the United Kingdom (5493/​ 72) 07.12.1976; Dickson v the United Kingdom (44362/​04)
04.12.2007 (GC).
47 See, for example, Dickson v the United Kingdom (44362/​04) 04.12.2007 (GC).
48 S. Greer, The Margin of Appreciation: Interpretation and Discretion under the European Convention on

Human Rights (Strasbourg: Council of Europe, 2000), 5.

 Structure of the book 9

1.5 The use of international instruments

International instruments play an important role in the interpretation of the

Convention. In accordance with Article 31 of the Vienna Convention on the Law of
Treaties, the Court has held that

in defining the meaning of terms and notions in the text of the convention, [the
Court] can and must take into account elements of international law other than
the Convention, the interpretation of such elements by competent organs, and the
practice of European States reflecting their common values.49

The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child50 has been particularly
influential in this regard, recognised by the Court as constituting ‘the standards to
which all governments must aspire in realising . . . rights for all children’.51 Moreover,
the Court has also referred frequently, if not consistently, to other regional and in-
ternational instruments such as the Hague Conventions on Child Abduction and on
Intercountry Adoption,52 and the European Social Charter,53 which have thus played
a crucial role in its jurisprudence. Importantly, however, the Court has held that it is
not necessary for the state in question to have ratified all the international instruments
being referred to by the Court,54 but only that the instruments ‘denote a continuous
evolution in the norms and principles applied in international law’55 and that there is
common ground in modern societies. In undertaking an analysis of the Court’s pro-
tection and advancement of children’s rights, this book also refers to these applicable
standards, examining where they have been noted, affirmed, rejected, or simply ig-
nored by the Court.

1.6 Structure of the book

As stated in the introduction to this chapter, the aim of this book is to provide an over-
view of the case law of the Court in relation to children. For reasons of space, I do not
undertake an extensive analysis of every case that has come before the Court in this
area—​instead, I attempt to draw out the main threads of the jurisprudence, showing
the evolution of the Court’s position throughout time and explaining and critiquing its
current position. In doing so, I have tried to walk a fine line between breadth of cov-
erage and depth of analysis. I wanted this book to be as comprehensive as possible, so

49 Demir and Baykara v Turkey (34503/​97) 12.11.2008, para. 85.

50 (1989) 1577 UNTS 3.
51 Sahin v Germany (30943/​96) 08.07.2003 (GC), para. 39.
52 Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction 1980, Hague Convention on

the Protection of Children and Co-​operation in Respect of Intercountry Adoption 1993.

53 European Social Charter (revised) (1996) CETS 163.
54 For example, in Marckx v Belgium (6833/​74) 13.06.1979, the Court relied on the European Convention

on Legal Status of Children Born out of Wedlock as evidence of emerging consensus, despite the fact that
Belgium had not signed or ratified it.
55 Demir and Baykara (34503/​97) 12.11.2008, para. 86.
10 INTRODUCTION

that academics, practitioners, and civil society could understand at a glance what the
Court has—​or has not—​said on a topic. At the same time, I did not wish this to be a
purely descriptive volume, and have tried to highlight for readers some of the key criti-
cisms that have been levelled at the various cases or lines of jurisprudence.
The book comprises ten substantive chapters, and is organised thematically, rather
than by Convention article. Not all issues fall neatly into one section, however, and
there is inevitable overlap, particularly where a case has been examined from a number
of different perspectives. Nevertheless, I have tried to provide a coherent and logical
categorisation of the jurisprudence in a way which will be useful for all readers, what-
ever their aim in consulting this text.
Following this introductory chapter, Chapter 2 goes on to examine the child’s right
to freedom from violence and exploitation, including protection from corporal pun-
ishment, child abuse, and sexual violence, as well as child marriage, forced labour, and
modern slavery. Chapter 3 then analyses the right to respect for private life in the con-
text of privacy, the right to receive information, and the right to individual identity.
Chapter 4 considers the rights of the child in relation to the juvenile justice system,
and Chapter 5 the immigration system, including deportation and expulsion, family
reunification, and the detention of accompanied and unaccompanied minors.
Chapter 6 then examines the jurisprudence in the area of education, and in partic-
ular the form and content of schooling, as well as school uniform and religious sym-
bols, followed by an analysis of the Court’s approach to social and economic rights in
Chapter 7.
The final four substantive chapters relate to the child within the family unit: family
life and the establishment of parenthood (Chapter 8); disputes concerning custody
and access (Chapter 9); child protection (Chapter 10); and adoption (Chapter 11).
Finally, Chapter 12 presents some conclusions of this analysis, highlighting the fields
where the Court has made significant advances for children’s rights and areas where
there remains work to be done.

1.6.1 A note on language

Throughout the book, I refer collectively to the position or jurisprudence of the

‘Court’ generally to include that of both the European Court of Human Rights and the
previous European Commission on Human Rights. However, when discussing indi-
vidual cases, I make a distinction between the decisions of the Commission and judg-
ments of the Court.
In addition, there are a number of jurisdictions which have changed names, or
even formed new countries, during the life of the Convention—​notably the Federal
Republic of Germany joining with Eastern Germany to become the new country of
‘Germany’ and the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia (‘FYROM’) being re-
named North Macedonia in 2019. For reasons of consistency and ease of reference,
I refer to these jurisdictions by the name they held at the time the case came before
the Court.
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Title: The Duchess of Dublin: A Farce

Author: George M. Baker

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*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE DUCHESS OF

DUBLIN: A FARCE ***
 ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE.

THE
AMATEUR
DRAMA.

THE DUCHESS
OF DUBLIN.

BOSTON:
GEO. M. BAKER & CO.
149 Washington Street.

Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1873 by George M.

Baker, in the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington.

THE DUCHESS OF DUBLIN.

A Farce.
 BY THE AUTHOR OF
"Sylvia's Soldier,"
"Once on a Time," "Down by the Sea," "The Last Loaf,"
"Bread on the Waters," "Stand by the Flag," "The Tempter," "A Drop
too
Much," "We're all Teetotalers," "A Little more Cider," "Thirty Minutes
for Refreshments," "Wanted, a Male Cook," "A Sea of Troubles,"
"Freedom of the Press," "A Close Shave," "The Great
Elixir," "The Man with the Demijohn," "Humors of
the Strike," "New Brooms sweep Clean," "My
Uncle the Captain," "The Greatest Plague
in Life," "No Cure, no Pay," "The
Grecian Bend," "War of the
Roses," "Lightheart's
Pilgrimage,"
"The
Sculptor's
Triumph," "Too
Late for the Train,"
"Snow-Bound," "The Peddler
of Very Nice," "Bonbons,"
"Capuletta," "An Original Idea," "My
Brother's Keeper," "Among the Breakers,"
"The Boston Dip," "The Duchess of Dublin," "A
Tender Attachment," "Gentlemen of the Jury," "A Public
Benefactor," "The Thief of Time," "The Hypochondriac," "The
Runaways," "Coals of Fire," "The Red Chignon," "Using the Weed,"
"A Love of a Bonnet," "A Precious Pickle," "The Revolt
of the Bees," "The Seven Ages,"
&c., &c., &c.

BOSTON:
GEORGE M. BAKER & CO.,
 149 Washington Street.

Entered, according to Act of Congress, inthe year 1873 by

GEORGE M. BAKER,
In the Office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington.

Rand, Avery, & Frye, Printers, Boston.

 CHARACTERS.
Dr. Adam Aconite, a Young Physician.
Frank Friskey.
Oliver Oldbuck, rich and gouty.
Silas Sharpset, a Speculator.
Dennis Doolan, a Widower.
Peter Plumpface, with a bad cough.
Annie Aconite, the Doctor's Sister.
Lucy Linden, a Milliner.
Miss Abigail Alllove, an Autograph Hunter.
Maggie Mullen, "The Duchess of Dublin."
 COSTUMES.
Dr. Aconite. Black suit, white necktie, light side whiskers, and light
wig.
Frank. Dark coat and vest, light pants, roundabout hat.
Oldbuck. Gray wig, blue coat with brass buttons, double-breasted
vest, white neckerchief, foot swathed in bandages, cane.
Sharpset. Gray suit, red cop wig, full red beard, Kossuth hat.
Dennis. Red wig, blue overall suit, rusty white hat.
Plumpface. Made up fat, very red face, dark, old-fashioned suit. Eye-
glasses attached to a string, which drop from his nose when he
coughs.
Annie. Neat morning dress.
Lucy. Tasty street dress and hat.
Abigail. Close-fitting black dress, hair "a la Grecian," black lace cape,
broad straw hat, red nose.
Maggie. Neat dress of a kitchen girl, sleeves rolled up.
 THE DUCHESS OF DUBLIN.
A Farce.

Scene.—Dr. Aconite's office. Table, c., with a display of vials, one

or two books, writing materials, &c. Chair, l. of table. Two chairs
back. Small table, r., with chair beside it.
Maggie discovered dusting. Her left hand is wrapped in a thick
covering.

Maggie. 'Pon my sowl, it's the docthor's a jewel, that he is! Didn't I
burn me wid the hot fat, that made me howl wid the pain uv it? And
didn't the blissid docthor tind me loike his own sisther—wid the
cooling and haling salve for me fisht, and the wee sugar pills for the
faver that was burnin' me up intirely? And didn't the blissid crayther,
wid the bountiful heart in 'im, charge niver a cint for it, or sthop it
out uv the wages uv a poor girl, as many a hathen would do, bad
luck to 'em. To be sure he did; and, by that same token, it's Maggie
Mullen would run the wide worrld over for the sakes uv him. Och,
but it's little docthoring he has onyhow, and perhaps I did him a
sarvice giving him the practice loike. Will, if the sick folks only knew
how handy he is, there'd be little rist for the sole uv my fut
answering the bill.

Enter Friskey, l.

Friskey. Hallo, Maggie! Where's the doctor?

Maggie. Sure it's at his brikfast he is. Can't you lit him have a little
pace for his sowl? What wid bein' up all night, and runnin' to sick
folks all day, it's little rist he finds onyhow.
Friskey. That's right, Maggie. Keep up a show of business if there is
none. But I'm in the secret.
Maggie. Sacret, is it? Sure there's none.
Friskey. Ah, we know, Maggie, that our friend the doctor has yet to
get his first patient.
Maggie. Indade you're wrong there, Masther Frank. Haven't I been
under his charge, and don't I know the skilful arts uv him? Indade I
do, and can give him the highest characther.
Friskey. O, I forgot that, Maggie. He's made a commencement.
How's your hand, Maggie?
Maggie. As comfortable as it can be wid the finest midical attention.
Friskey. That's good. Well, I'll wait for him. (Sits at table; takes up
newspaper.)
Maggie. That's right, sir. He'll be glad to say ye's. But mind, don't
interfare wid his business. Don't tak his mind off the purshuit uv
patients, for it's much they're wanted, ye's can belave.
[Exit, r.
Friskey. I do belave it. Now here's a man who has passed a splendid
examination, received his diploma, and settled down in his native
village to practise medicine, but so set are the good people that they
will never patronize him until age and experience have fitted him to
be their medical adviser. Stuff and nonsense! While he is growing he
must starve, unless some way is found to move their stubborn will.
Not a patient—no, I'm wrong—there's his free patient, Maggie, "The
Duchess of Dublin," as Lucy and I facetiously call her. A free patient!
If we could only contrive to get one of the high and mighty snobs of
the village into his clutches, we'd physic him until the whole
population flocked to his office. (Knock, l.) Come in. (Enter Lucy
Linden, l.) Ah, Lucy, come in. How d'ye do? (Shake hands.)
Lucy. Where's Adam?
Friskey. The first of men is at his breakfast, replenishing his
exhausted system before renewing the toil of practice.
Lucy. You're too bad, Frank. The dear fellow must not be laughed at.
You know he has no practice.
Friskey. O, there you're wrong. The first patient has been found.
Lucy. You don't mean it? Who is it—Squire Prim, or Aunt Lucy Spear,
Mr. Plumpface, or Mr. Oldbuck? Do tell me. I'm dying to know!
Friskey. A person of greater importance. One with a high-sounding
title.
Lucy. Title—Judge Higgins? General Proof? You mysterious fellow,
why don't you tell me.
Friskey. It's "The Duchess of Dublin."
Lucy. O, pshaw! Maggie Mullen. Frank Friskey, you're a torment. I
really thought 'twas some distinguished character.
Friskey. Well, the duchess had a fine characther from her last place.
By Jove! an idea.
Lucy. Get rid of it, Frank; it's dangerous.
Friskey. Hush! This is really a magnificent idea. Our doctor must
have patients, for several reasons: First, he is engaged to a beautiful
young lady, whom he will not marry until his practice will allow him
to support her as he desires—
Lucy. Just as if I cared. I'm sure I'd rather help him up hill, than to
wait for the elegant mansion he hopes to rear on the summit.
Friskey. There you are interested. In the second place, his sister is
engaged to a fascinating young gentleman, ahem! and him she will
not marry until her brother can afford to let her leave his house, of
which she is the toiling mistress.
Lucy. And there you are interested.
Friskey. Exactly. Therefore we are both interested in increasing the
doctor's practice as soon as possible.
Lucy. The sooner the better.
Friskey. Now listen to me. Suppose that a high-born lady, a titled
lady of Europe, should visit this country; should pass through this
village; should suddenly be taken sick. The aid of our good friend
the doctor is required. He is called in. The news spreads like wildfire
through the village. Patients flock to his office. His fortune is made,
and we are happy in our loves.
Lucy. Ah, but where can we find such a patient?
Friskey. She's here beneath this humble roof—"The Duchess of
Dublin," incog.
Lucy. Why, Frank, what a desperate idea!
Friskey. Desperate cases require desperate means. What say you,
will you join me?
Lucy. In what way?
Friskey. We will leave this house at once, separate, you go to the
right, I to the left. Drop in here and there quite accidentally, and, in
confidence, disclose the interesting news that "The Duchess of
Dublin," incog., is in the skilful hands of Dr. Aconite. Magnify it a
little, and await the result. I am confident that before night Adam
will be as happy as a rush of complicated disorders can make an M.
D.
Lucy. Capital! only if we are found out—
Friskey. We'll laugh it off as a capital joke. If, in the mean time,
Adam gets a good patient, he'll make his way to a good practice.
Lucy. It's an absurd idea to exalt our Maggie to so high a position.
Should anybody see her—
Friskey. Ah, but nobody must see her. The duchess is incog. You
must communicate in the strictest confidence, and have it distinctly
understood that not a word must be said to the doctor about his
grand patient.
Lucy. I understand, and you may depend upon me; only if the worst
comes I shall throw all the responsibility upon you.
Friskey. And I'll agree to take it all. Come, let's set out.
Lucy. Without seeing Adam?
Friskey. Yes, for I shan't trust you with him until you are fully
committed to this arch plot. Come.
Lucy. What, would you rob me of a sight of my Adam?
Friskey. Eve-n so. Am I not robbed of the sight of my Annie?
Lucy. Not even one embrace?
Friskey. As a substitute embrace me. (Throws his arms around her.)
Lucy (screams). You horrid wretch! (Runs off, l., followed by Friskey.)

Dr. Aconite appears, r.

Dr. A. Am I awake? My friend, my bosom friend, with his arms about

my affianced bride! Pills and powders! pestle and mortar! am I
awake? Well, it's my usual luck. Day by day I've seen my stock of
provisions sensibly decrease. I have this morning devoured the last
fishball that could be manufactured from the slender stock of codfish
and potatoes. It has vanished, and so has my love, with the friend of
my bosom. There's nothing left for me now but to make a few
slender meals of my sugar-coated pills, fricassee the canary, and
then slowly but surely starve. (Sinks into chair, l.)

Enter Annie Aconite, r.

Annie. Well, brother, what would you like for dinner?

Dr. A. Dinner? ha, ha! Dinner! Well, what say you to roast turkey
with cranberry sauce?
Annie. Brother!
Dr. A. Or roast goose, with guava jelly?
Annie. Brother!
Dr. A. Or roast buffalo, with venison steak, devilled kidneys, and
salmon, with oyster sauce on the half shell.
Annie. Adam, are you crazy?
Dr. A. Why not? Our dinner must be an imaginary one, so let's have
it as costly and luxurious as possible. There's nothing in the larder.
Let's be extravagant, and cook it all.
Annie. Why, how you rave! Is the money all gone?
Dr. A. Every cent.
Annie. But the butcher?
Dr. A. Would carve me with his meat-axe if I asked for credit.
Annie. Then I'll try him. He won't carve me. Now don't be
despondent. We have always had a dinner, and, depend upon it, you
shall to-day.
Dr. A.

"O Woman, in our hours of ease,

Uncertain, coy, and hard to please;
 But, when the dinner seems to lag,
You'll have it, if you boil the puddin'-bag."
Annie, why don't you marry Frank Friskey?
Annie. Adam, why don't you marry the little milliner?
Dr. A. Because I have no patients.
Annie. And I have patience to wait until you get them before I marry
Frank.
Dr. A. But I never shall have a patient. There's a dead set against
me. They're determined I shall not cure or kill anybody until I kill
myself with waiting.
Annie. Not so bad as that, Adam. Be patient, and wait.
Dr. A. O, humbug! My instruments are all getting rusty, my pills old,
my plasters cracking, and my drops drying up. Hang it, I'll go and
doctor myself for amusement. (Knock, l.)
Annie. Hush! Perhaps there's a call.
Dr. A. The undertaker, perhaps, in search of a job. Come in.

Enter Dennis, l.

Dennis. The top uv the mornin' to ye's. Is the docther man in—I
donno?
Dr. A. Yes, I'm the doctor.
Dennis. Is that so? Yer rivirance, if ye plaze, Squire Croony wants
ye's quick. The ould missus's howlin' in the pangs uv insinsibility, the
young masther's took wid the jumpin' croup in his skull, and the
babby's got the janders—an' it's pisoned they all are intirely.
Dr. A. What, Squire Croony?
Dennis. The same, yer rivirance, onto the hill beyant.
Dr. A. O, you've made a mistake. He wants Dr. Allopath.
Dennis. Niver at all, at all. It's Dr. Ac—Ac—Acraoniting I was to sind.
Dr. A. (jumping up, and pulling off his dressing-gown). My coat—
quick! quick! (Annie runs off, r.) Maggie, Maggie, my hat and cane!
Here's luck. (Enter Annie, with coat. He jumps into it.) You're sure he
sent for me?
Dennis. To be sure I am.
Dr. A. Glory! glory! Rich Squire Croony! I'm a fortunate man. Where's
my medicine case? (Runs to table, r., and takes it.) My good man,
I'm terribly afraid you've made a mistake.
Dennis. Troth, I'm afraid they'll all git well afore you git there.
Dr. A. That would be fatal—ahem!—to me. I'm off. I'll return at the
earliest possible moment. Should anybody call, let them wait. Tell
them I am suddenly called to my rich patient, ahem! Squire Croony.
(Going off, l.)

Enter Maggie, r., with Dr. Aconite's hat and cane.

Maggie. Sure, docther, you're not going widout yer hat?

Dr. A (returning). That would be a mistake. (Puts on hat.) You're
sure, my man—
Dennis. O, bother! Would ye lave them all to die suddenly wid a long
illness?
Dr. A. I'm off. Glory! glory! Luck! (Dances to door, l., then suddenly
stops, straightens himself, and puts on a serious face). Professional
dignity, ahem! (Struts off, l.)
Annie. Maggie, remember, if anybody calls, "The doctor has been
called to Squire Croony."
[Exit, r.
Maggie. That I will—the dear docther! The luck's a-coomin'.
Dennis. Ah, ye's the fine gurl! Sure ye's remind me uv Donnybrook
fair, in the ould counthry, wid ye's rosy cheeks, and pearly teeth, as
white as—as—as—tombstones.
Maggie. Ah, will, will! It's the blarney-stone ye've kissed, sure, in the
ould counthry.
Dennis. To be sure I have, colleen. Ah, bliss the ould sod! Sorry's the
day I lift it, wid my own purty wife, Molly, who's been dead and gone
the year, an' me wid the childers wid their bills open for food loike
the little birds—
Maggie. 'Tis a widerer ye's are?
Dennis. A lone widerer, wid a tear in one eye and the other wide
open tight for a purty girl to fill the sitivation made vacant by the
absince of my Molly.
Maggie. Is it lonesome ye are?
Dennis. Lonesome is it? Begorra! ye may will say that. Sure there's
not blankets enough to kape the chill out uv me heart, whin I wake
in the night and miss the music uv Molly's snore—for she had a
powerful organ, and could pipe "St. Pathrick's Day" through her nose
widout missing a note. Could ye's riccommend me?
Maggie. Troth, I don't know what ye mane.
Dennis. To a nice, respectable gurl that wouldn't mind incumbrances
in the shape of nine as purty childers as iver built stone huts or
made dirt pies, the darlints.
Maggie. Troth, I think ye've give nine good raisins why no smart gurl
would loike to take the head uv yer establishment. She'd be loike the
ould woman that lived in a shoe.
Dennis. An' ye couldn't be prevailed upon yeself to share my
fortunes?
Maggie. What's that, ye loonytic? Away wid ye's. I'll have none uv
yer Molly's childers distractin' my shlumbers. So ye can take yer hat,
misther, and yer lave to onct.
Dennis. O, now, pity the sorrows of a poor lone, afflicted widower.
Maggie. Git out er that, or I'll break yer skull. Away wid ye's. (Dennis
runs off, l. Runs into Oldbuck, who enters.)
Oldbuck. O, murder! my foot! you villain! you scoundrel!
Dennis. I ax yer pardon. Sind me the bill.
[Exit, l.
Oldbuck. Confound you for a blundering fool! Girl, give me a chair.
(Maggie sets chair, r. c. Oldbuck, groaning, hobbles to it, and sits.)
Now, then, where's the doctor?
Maggie. Sure he's at Squire Croony's.
Oldbuck. Squire Croony's—O, that foot! Why, he must have a pretty
good practice.
Maggie. Ye may will say that. He hasn't ate a morsel for three days,
nor slipt for a wake.
Oldbuck. Now that's a lie—O, my foot! Bring me a footstool—do you
hear? Quick!
Maggie. What's that?
Oldbuck. A footstool, quick, or I'll break this cane—
Maggie (snatching cane from him). Ye'll be civil, so yer will, or out uv
this house ye go.
Oldbuck. Give me that cane—O, my foot! You torment.
Maggie. Be aisy now, misther, and till yer business.
Oldbuck. I want the doctor.
Maggie. He's away wid dacint sick folks, that don't howl and break
canes, and the loike, ye ould hathen!
Oldbuck. Do you know who I am?
Maggie. I niver set my two eyes on ye's before the day, and I niver
want to again.
Oldbuck. You're a saucy jade—O, my foot!
Maggie (poking his foot with the cane). Does it burn.
Oldbuck. O! O! murder! Do you want to kill me?
Maggie. Kape a civil tongue in yer head, and I'll do ye's no harm.
Oldbuck. When will the doctor return?
Maggie. Soon as he's kilt or cured the sick folks at Squire Croony's.
Oldbuck. Has he any patients in the house?
Maggie. Yis, one. (Aside.) Sure, I'm his patient; that's no lie.
Oldbuck. Ah! Male or female?
Maggie. Well, from my sowl, ye's a mighty inquisitive ould chap. It's
a famale.
Oldbuck (aside). Ah, it's true then. Sh! Come here, my good girl.
(Maggie approaches him, and hits his foot.) O, my foot! You clumsy—
Maggie (poking his foot with the cane). Does it burn?
Oldbuck. O! O! O! Will you be quiet?
Maggie. If ye'll kape a civil tongue.
Oldbuck. I'm dumb. But tell me—this patient—who is she? I'll be
secret.
Maggie. Sure, ye's mighty mysterious. It's myself.
Oldbuck. You? (Aside.) They said she was incog. This must be her.
And now I look at her, there's a certain grace about her, a queenly
air—O, it's the duchess. (Aloud.) Your grace—
Maggie. What's that?
Oldbuck. Pardon me, your grace, I failed to recognize, in this mean
attire, the high-born lady, which your highness must be.
Maggie. The ould fellow's looney. (Pokes his foot with the cane.)
Oldbuck. O! O! my foot!
Maggie. Will ye's kape a civil tongue?
Oldbuck. Ten thousand pardons. I forgot your disguise.
Maggie. Disguise is it? Troth, it's my belafe that it's yerself is
disguised intirely—in liquor.
Plumpface (outside, l., coughing violently). Where's (cough) the
(cough) doctor? (Enters, l.)
Oldbuck. Old Plumpface, confound him!
Maggie. The doctor, is it? Troth, he's away on a call. He'll soon
return. Take a cheer. (Hands him chair, l. He sits.)
Plumpface (coughs). O, this infernal cough! I'm in the last (cough)
stages of a decline. (Coughs.)
Maggie. The docther'll cure ye's in a jiffy.
Oldbuck. Not that cough. Egad, he's kept it up for twenty years, and
grows fat on it. Hallo, Plumpface! I thought Allopath was your
medical adviser.
Plumpface. He's a swindle. (Cough.) He does me no good. (Cough.)
I'm going to try the new one. (Cough.)
Oldbuck. Humbug! Keep your money. There's nothing the matter
with you. You've tried twenty doctors. They bleed your pocket, and
add power to that infernal cough.
Plumpface. Humbug yourself! (cough) hobbling round (cough) with
that (cough) foot wrapped up. (Cough.) Stay at home and diet.
(Cough.)
Maggie. Ye'll make a die of it some day, sure, wid that watchman's
rattle in ye's throat.
Plumpface (to Maggie). Here (cough), I want to whisper to you.
(Cough.)
Maggie (comes close to him.) D'ye call that a whisper?
Plumpface. Hush! (Cough.) Don't let Oldbuck hear. (Cough.) How is
she? (Cough.)
Maggie. What she d'ye mane?
Plumpface. Hush! The doctor's (cough) patient here.
Maggie. Is it mysilf? Troth, I'm pickin' up lively.
Plumpface (aside). Her? Can she be the duchess? It must be, incog.
Your grace. (Cough.)
Maggie (aside). Your what?
Plumpface. I'm delighted to (cough) meet your highness. (Cough.)
When did you leave the old country? (Cough.)
Maggie. The ould counthry, is it?
Oldbuck. Here, this way. (Aside to Maggie.) Plumpface is an old fool.
Don't mind him, your grace.
Maggie. Will, 'pon my sowl, if here isn't a couple of the quarest ould
chaps I iver met. O, here's the docther. (Gives Oldbuck his cane.)
 Enter Dr. Aconite, l. Exit Maggie, r.

Dr. A. The ice is broken. I've cured four individuals in ten minutes.
My fortune's made. (Comes, c.)
Plumpface (jumping up). O, doctor (cough), my cough!
Oldbuck (jumping up). Dear doctor, my foot—O!
Plumpface. Please attend to me first. (Cough.)
Oldbuck. No, I arrived first, and claim your attention first.
Plumpface. It's a lie. I sent an hour ago. (Cough.)
Oldbuck. He's a humbug. That cough's hereditary.
Plumpface. You villain! (Shakes fist at Oldbuck.)
Oldbuck. You swindler! (Shakes fist at Plumpface.)
Dr. A. (stepping between them). Gentlemen, be calm. 'Tis the proud
boast of medical science that it can settle all difficulties, mental as
well as physical. You need my aid; but such are the claims upon my
time that I cannot, without doing injustice to my numerous patients,
attend to you at present. Give me your address, and I will call upon
you at the earliest possible moment.
Oldbuck. I am Squire Oldbuck.
Dr. A. (aside). The rich squire—good!
Plumpface. And I am Peter Plumpface. (Cough.)
Dr. A. (aside). The great manufacturer—good!
Oldbuck. I can pay handsomely.
Plumpface. I can pay liberally.
Dr. A. Gentlemen, you shall receive my early attention. You will
pardon me, but I have a patient in the house who requires my
immediate attention.
Oldbuck (aside). "The Duchess of Dublin."
Plumpface (aside). The Dublin duchess. (Cough. Aloud.) My dear
doctor, I have heard of your skill. May I depend upon you?
Dr. A. At the earliest possible moment.
Oldbuck. You will give me early attention?
Dr. A. Immediate.
Oldbuck. Then I'll hobble home at once. Good day, doctor. (Aside.)
When old Plumpface is out of the way, I'll slip back again.
[Exit, l.
Plumpface (coughs). I know your skill, doctor (cough,) and shall
depend upon you. Good day. (Cough. Aside.) I'll come back and
quicken his memory when Oldbuck is out of sight.
[Exit, l.
Dr. A. (rubbing his hands). Ha, ha! that's a capital joke. Dr. Aconite,
poor physician, turns two of the richest men out of his office to wait
his pleasure! But that's the right way. 'Twill never do to be too
anxious. Egad! they're rich acquisitions; for, though I have never met
them, that cough and that gouty foot have been the rounds of the
medical fraternity. Wonder how they happened to drop in upon me?
No matter; I can cure them both in time. Ah, Time, you are the
doctor's best friend, for you pay as you go. Luck's come at last, and
that imaginary dinner shall be a real, substantial feast, to mark the
day when Dr. Aconite took his first fee.

Enter Sharpset, l.

Sharpset. Heow d'ye dew. You're Dr. Aconite, I reckon?

Dr. A. I am.
Sharpset. Jes' so. Wall, I'm Silas Sharpset, E. s. q., 'he founder and
proprietor of the "Excelsior Perambulating Museum of Wonderful,
Whimsical, Extraordinary, and Eccentric Living Curiosities."
Dr. A. Indeed!
Sharpset. Jes' so. You'll find in my wonderful collection studies of
human nater in every variety. The remarkable and only original living
fat girl, seven years of age, who has attained the enormous weight
of seven hundred and seventy-seven pounds by a daily diet of
molasses candy and gum drops.
Dr. A. Remarkable, indeed!
Sharpset. Jes' so. Also, the only real living skeleton, aged thirty-nine,
weight seventeen pounds and three ounces, who lives on oatmeal
gruel, eaten by the spoonful, once in forty-eight hours, who kin
crawl through a stove-pipe of six inches diameter, and dance the
Cachuca in a quart measure.
Dr. A. Ah, that's too thin.
Sharpset. Jes' so. Then there's the man born without either arms or
legs, who can lift a hogshead with his teeth, and write a remarkably
legible hand with his back hair, which he wears in a cue for that
purpose.
Dr. A. Cue-rious, indeed.
Sharpset. Jes' so. Then there's the bald-headed accountant, with his
head so full of figures that he can run up the longest account in no
time, and, by the force of his stupendous intellect, make the sum
total appear in round figures, visible to the naked eye, on the top of
his head.
Dr. A. A calculating baldhead.
Sharpset. Jes' so. But the assortment is too numerous to mention. I
kin only say, that for variety, versatility, and invention, this collection
is unsurpassed, and kin be seen in all its beauty for twenty-five cents
a head.
Dr. A. Well, sir, what is your business with me? My time is precious.
Sharpset. Jes' so. Wall, then, to come to the p'int. You've got a
nat'ral living curiosity, and I want it.
Dr. A. I've got a curiosity? So I have—a curiosity to know what you
mean.
Sharpset. Jes' so. Mighty secret, but it's no use, doctor; it's all over
town. You'll have to give in, so you might as well make the best
terms you kin with me, for I've greater facilities for exhibiting the
critter than any other live man. Jes' so—Silas Sharpset, E. s. q., can't
be beat.
Dr. A. Exhibiting the critter, Mr. Sharpset? There's a wildness in your
eye that betokens insanity. You are laboring under a wild
hallucination. Go hence. Soak your feet, wrap a wet towel round
your head, and return to your couch at once.
Sharpset. Jes' so. Keep it up, doctor. But it won't fool me. The
critter's here. Turn her over to me, bag and baggage, and I'll pay
you a thousand dollars down.
Dr. A. A thousand dollars—you'll pay me? Be calm, my friend, be
calm. You betray unmistakable symptoms of a disordered mind. Will
you oblige me with a little explanation?
Sharpset. Jes' so.
Dr. A. Who is the "critter" that you are in pursuit of?
Sharpset. The duchess, of course. Why, consarn it, it's all over town.
Dr. A. The duchess? Ah, yes, poor man, lunacy always takes high
flights. Ah, who is the duchess?
Sharpset. Jes' so. Doctor, do you see anything of a verdant hue in
this optic? (Finger on left eye.) It's no use. "The Duchess of Dublin"
is in this house; is under your charge. Now do the handsome thing.
I'll put her up as an extra attraction, charge double price, and divide
profits. There's an offer.
Dr. A. By doubling your price on "The Duchess of Dublin"? Now, you
must excuse the question, but who is "The Duchess of Dublin"? and
what have I to do with "The Duchess of Dublin"?
Sharpset. Consarn it, mister, are you a fool?
Dr. A. Now gently, friend. Be calm, be calm. (Aside.) O, he's very
crazy!
Sharpset. Humbug! Will you, or will you not, accept my offer? Half
profits for the duchess. Sharp's the word! Quick, or you lose it!
Dr. A. My dear friend, it wouldn't hurt you to lose a little blood. My
lancet's handy.
Sharpset. Jehoshaphat! do you take me to be an idiot?
Dr. A. You'd better go home. Your wife and children are expecting
you. No doubt the little folks are chanting, with their childish voices,
"Dear father, dear father, come home."
Sharpset. Jes' so. You can't pull wool over my eyes, doctor. Silas
Sharpset is sharpset by name and sharpset by nater. You can't fool
me. You've got a prize, and want to keep it for yourself; but if I don't
set the populace howling round your door, and make you show up
the duchess, then you can shave my head, and lock me up for life.
No monopolies here in living curiosities while Sharpset's around—not
if he knows it: jes' so.
[Exit, l.
Dr. A. He's gone—home, I hope. He's very mad. Why don't his
friends take care of him. It's dangerous to let a man run round with
such horrid ideas as are rambling through his brain. The fat girl, the
living skeleton, the bald-headed accountant, and "The Duchess of
Dublin." 'Pon my word, the idea of my having under my charge a
duchess! O, it's absurd. The man's crazy; he must be looked after;
I'll follow him (takes hat), and see that he does no damage. (Goes
to door, l.)

Enters, suddenly, Miss Abigail Alllove, with a large book under

her arm. Seizes Dr. Aconite by arm, and drags him down, c.

Abigail (mysteriously). You are—are you?—or am I mistaken?

Dr. A. Eh? You may be right, you may be wrong, or you may be
mistaken.
Abigail. You do not answer me; and I, poor lone orphan that I am,
tremble in your presence.
Dr. A. Eh? Are you often alone? Miss, or madam, let's drop this
nonsense. Have, you any business with me? I am Dr. Aconite.
Abigail. You are the friend of the unfortunate; the guide of suffering
humanity to havens of rest; the healer of broken hearts; the finger-
post that points the way to the mansion of health. O, human angel,
list to my woes.
Dr. A. Madam, or miss, I shall be happy to aid you with my
professional skill.
Abigail. Professional skill? Away with it. I want it not. I want
sympathy, friendship, love.
Dr. A. Ah, indeed. Then I'm sorry I cannot help you. They are not in
my line.
Abigail. List to a tale of grief. At the age of four I lost my mother, at
the age of ten my father, at the age of fifteen my sister, at twenty
my only brother, at twenty-five my uncle, at thirty—
Dr. A. O, stop, stop, stop! Spare me. I didn't kill them. I haven't been
in practice a year. You must see I had no time for such slaughter.
Abigail. I am alone in the world. No relatives, no friends, "no one to
love,"—only this. (Shows book.)
Dr. A. And pray what is that?
Abigail. A treasure millions could not buy. A pearl of matchless value
—my life, my friend, my love—my autograph album.
Dr. A. O, indeed, is that all? And you want my autograph? With the
greatest pleasure. (Attempts to take book.)
Abigail. Away! Do not profane it with your touch. None but the noble
stain its spotless pages.
Dr. A. Ah, indeed! Pardon my presumption.
Abigail. No, only the divine wielders of the pen, the classic movers of
the artistic brush, the noble toilers with the gracing chisel, the
seraphic sons and daughters of song, kings, emperors, queens, the
high-born and the great can dot their i's in Abigail Alllove's
autograph album.
Dr. A. Decidedly select.
Abigail (opening book). Behold the autograph of the Emperor of
China.
Dr. A. (reading). "Will you come and take tea in the arbor. Te he!"
Ah, did you te-ease him for that?
Abigail. The name of the Emperor of the French.
Dr. A. (reading). "Put out the light, and then put—Napoleon." Which
he did. Very good.
Abigail. The Queen of Sheba.
Dr. A. (reading). "Anything on this board for ten cents. Saloma."
Attentive to business, very.
Abigail. Dr. Livingstone.
Dr. A. (reading).

"On, Stanley, on,

Were the last words from Livingstone."

Original, very.
Abigail. Joshua Billings.
Dr. A. (reading). "Duz time fli in fli time? Josh Billings." That's a very
bad spell.
Abigail. Alfred Tennyson.
Dr. A. (reading).

"When I can shoot my rifle clear

To pigeons in the skies,
I'll bid farewell to pork and beans,
And live on pigeon pies."

A. Tennyson."
Abigail. Exquisite poet!
Dr. A. I admire his taste.
Abigail. Now, dear doctor, I would add one other name to my
valuable collection. You can aid me. Will you? O, say you will—will
you? and take the burden from the heart of a lone orphan.
Dr. A. Madam, or miss, I should be very happy to assist you—
Abigail. O, rapturous answer! O, noble disciple of Æsculapius! The
lips of the lone orphan will bless you; the tears of the lone orphan
shall bless you; the smiles of the lone orphan—
Dr. A. Be calm, be calm. In what way can I assist you?
Abigail. You have beneath your roof a noble lady—
Dr. A. Eh?
Abigail. From a foreign clime. You hold her here in secret. Let me
but get her name in my autograph album, and Abigail Alllove will die
happy.
Dr. A. Noble lady? (Aside.) Another lunatic.
Abigail. Yes, the name of "The Duchess of Dublin."
Dr. A. The—dickens! Stark, staring mad. My dear young lady, you are
laboring under a hallucination. Go home at once. Call your friends.
Abigail. Alas! I have no friends. Did I not tell you I am a lone—
Dr. A. Yes, yes; but call in the neighbors, the kind neighbors—
Abigail. But the duchess! I must see the duchess. The hopes, the
fears, the life of a lone orphan—
Dr. A. Lone orphan, go home; let me alone. I have no duchess, know
no duchess. You are deceived. No, no, dear, go home.

"Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home."

Abigail. O, you wretch! You mean, contemptible quack. You have

read my album, my precious volume, and now refuse my request.
Dr. A. But, my dear young lady—
Abigail. Don't come near me! You've broken the heart of a lone
orphan. You're a base, ungrateful, ugly, miserable pill-box! and I
hope you'll never live to own an autograph album—there!
[Exit, l.
Dr. A. Good by, lone orphan. Now there's a case that requires
immediate attention. Poor thing! I ought not to have let her go until
her friends appeared. (Enter Dennis, l. Stands in door, beckoning to
Dr. Aconite.) Hallo! who's that?
Dennis (mysteriously). Sh! sh! (Creeps down, c., beckoning to Dr.
Aconite.)
Dr. A. Well, what is it?
Dennis. It's all right, docther, it's all right.
Dr. A. Well. I'm glad to know that, at any rate.
Dennis. Yis, I'll not brathe a word. It's from the owld counthry I am.
Dr. A. That's very evident.
Dennis. An' it's mysilf that would give the worrld to sit my two eyes
on her. Now, docther, it's a lone widdyer I am, an' would ye's go for
to do me a kindness?
Dr. A. To be sure I would.
Dennis. Hiven bliss ye! Thin fich her out. Let me faist my eyes on her
beautiful face, her illigant, dignified figure. Let me kiss the him of
her magnificent dress, and hear her swate voice spake the brogue of
the gim of the say.
Dr. A. What are you talking about? Who do you want to see?
Dennis. You know will what I mane—her grace, the noble, moighty,
illigant "Duchess of Dublin."
Dr. A. What? "The Duchess of Dublin?" Out of my house at once, or I
shall do you an injury.
Dennis. Faix, you don't mane it. Rob an Irishman of his right to pay
his rispicts to a high-born lady uv his own counthry?
Dr. A. Do you see that door?
Dennis. Faix, I'm not blind.
Dr. A. Then get the other side of it at once. (Takes cane.) I've had
enough of "The Duchess of Dublin."
Dennis. Is that so? Thin I'm the b'y to take her off ye's hands.
Dr. A. Will you leave this house?
Dennis. To be sure I will, afther I've seen her grace.
Dr. A. (rushes at him with cane). O, you will have it—will you?
Dennis (backing to door). Aisy, docther; I want none uv ye's
medicine. But I'll say the duchess, so I will, wid ye's lave or widout
it.
[Exit, l.
Dr. A. Has the whole village gone crazy? or is this some infernal plot
to drive me into hopeless lunacy?

Plumpface coughs outside, then enters, l.

Plumpface. Doctor (cough), I thought you were coming to (cough)

see me?
Dr. A. I'll be there in half an hour, Mr. Plumpface. Business of a very
serious nature has detained me here.
Plumpface. Yes (cough), I know. She kept you.
Dr. A. She—Who do you mean?
Plumpface. O (cough), it's all right, doctor. I'm in the secret.
(Cough.) I've seen her; spite of her disguise, I knew her at once.
(Cough.)
Dr. A. Knew her at once? Who, pray?
Plumpface. O, you sly dog! (Cough.) The duchess.
Dr. A. Heavens and earth! She here again?
Plumpface. She hasn't been away—has she? (Cough.)
Dr. A. Look here, Plumpface. Go home, quick! Go to your room, get
into bed, and don't stir until I get there.
Plumpface. What's the matter now?
Dr. A. Your case has taken a serious turn. You are going to get rid of
that cough. It's going to your head. You will be mad.
Plumpface. Mad? You don't say so! What a horrible idea! I'm afraid
you're right. I haven't coughed for three minutes. O, doctor, is there
no hope?
Dr. A. Don't stop to talk. Get home at once. (Pushes him out of door,
l.) Run for your life. How he goes! The exercise will do his lungs
good; but his head, poor fellow! He's got the duchess fever.

Enter Oldbuck, l.

Oldbuck. I say, doctor, what's the matter with Plumpface? I met him,
running. Is there a fire anywhere?
Dr. A. Yes, very near him—in his head. It has been turned.
Oldbuck. You don't say so. By what, pray?
Dr. A. By "The Duchess of Dublin."
Oldbuck. Egad! she's enough to turn anybody's head. But I say,
doctor, how is she?
Dr. A. What?
Oldbuck. I'm mightily interested in her. How's she getting along? I've
seen her, too.
Dr. A. O, this is too much. Oldbuck, look at that foot.
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