Practicing Chastity in an Unchaste Age The virtue of chastity therefore involves the integrity of the

By Most Rev. Joseph F. Martino person and the integrality [i.e., completeness] of the gift."

An American bishop’s pastoral advice. Sacred Scripture says the same thing in its own way. The
single most important fact about biblical anthropology may be
My dear brothers and sisters in Christ: I write as your bishop that it views the human body as integral to the human person.
and spiritual father on a matter of great importance and great In contrast with ancient and modern dualisms, the Bible makes
good news: chastity. it clear that we do not possess our bodies, as if they were apart
from us; rather, we are bodily persons. God created us bodily
Why chastity? That is really two questions wrapped up in one. persons and communal in nature by being related to him and
one another.
First, why do I write on this subject just now? Violations of
chastity in our Church and our diocese have made some The biblical testimony has serious moral implications. What
people skeptical when the Church speaks on sexual morality. people do in and to their bodies touches the core of their
But for just that reason it is more necessary, not less, to speak personhood (cf. 1 Cor 6:9). Chastity, as a principle of personal
the truth about sexual morality. Sin and confusion cry out for integration, is crucially important to holiness and happiness–to
honest, truthful speech. being healthy, integrated human beings.

The Church has always taught–and I teach here–that we need The contemporary context
to find our happiness and holiness in a commitment to the
chastity lived out in marital love or the chastity of celibacy Chastity is closely related to the virtue of temperance, which
lived out either in the consecrated life or the life of a single regulates the use of food and drink–and sex. Regulation is in
layperson in the world. These are the two paths to happiness order precisely because these things are good. If they weren’t,
and eternal life. There are no others. we would be obliged to shun them, not regulate them. As it is,
chastity empowers us to make right use of a great gift from
Second, why is chastity so important? Is this really a virtue for God.
our times? Don’t other subjects take priority?
Fully to appreciate chastity, we need to reflect on attitudes and
In fact, chastity is a virtue for our times, and it does take ways of acting opposed to it. This will not be pleasant. As C.S.
priority. That should be clear, for instance, in the wake of the Lewis says in Mere Christianity, "perversions of the sex
scandalous events in our own Church as well as those in instinct are numerous, hard to cure, and frightful." But the
secular society. cure begins with recognizing a perversion for what it is.

One sad thing I’ve read was the final paragraph of the New The list is long and depressing. It includes pornography,
York Times obituary of the popular French novelist Françoise masturbation, premarital sex, cohabitation, homosexual
Sagan. In a 1993 interview before her second drug trial, Sagan relations and unions, sexual promiscuity, adultery, divorce and
recalled: remarriage without an annulment, contraception, sterilization,
abortion, cloning, and the destruction of human embryos for
I had incredible luck because just when I grew up, the pill stem-cell research. Currently, a campaign of legal pressure
came along. When I was 18, I used to die with fear of being and media propaganda seeks to force a change in the
pregnant, but then it arrived, and love was free and without definition of marriage so that homosexual unions will be
consequence for nearly 30 years. Then AIDS came. Those 30 accepted as marriages.
years coincided with my adulthood, the age for having fun.
Secular culture as it is reflected in the media not only accepts
In this "age for having fun," Françoise Sagan was twice sex outside marriage but also encourages it. One result is that
married, twice divorced, twice convicted of narcotics offenses. many people hardly even understand what the Church says
God rest her soul. God rest the souls of all who thought as she about sexual morality. Many, for instance, not only do not
did. And may God come to the rescue of all who now think as practice modesty in dress but also have little or no idea what
she did. It is the spirit of this "age for having fun" that makes "modesty in dress" might mean. And how often, unfortunately,
the Church’s teaching on chastity so necessary today. the young are left uninstructed about the evil of masturbation,
with the result being a vicious habit they must truly struggle to
There is a vast gulf between the secularist view of sex and the overcome.
Christian view of chastity. The Catechism of the Catholic
Church (2337) says: Consent is the supreme principle supposedly legitimating
virtually any sexual behavior. This radically libertarian
"Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within mindset still recognizes rape as a sexual aberration, but if
the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and people are willing, virtually anything else goes. "Who am I to
spiritual being. Sexuality, in which man’s belonging to the judge?" others say with a shrug. "They’re old enough. Nobody
bodily and biological world is expressed, becomes personal else is hurt. So why shouldn’t they if they want to?"
and truly human when it is integrated into the relationship of
one person to another, in the complete and lifelong mutual gift Here is the rationale for the casual sexual encounters–not just
of a man and a woman. loveless but without even emotional attachment–now common
on college campuses and in other settings. Many young wrote, "is the sexual appetite. Unlike the appetite for food and
women complain of the boorishness of men who take casual drink, which is directed to maintaining the life of the
sex for granted, as if this were something they have a right to individual, the sexual appetite is provided by God to maintain
expect after paying for a meal and drinks. Women, often on the continuation of the human race. If this appetite is to do the
the birth-control pill without any medical reason, feel under good for which God gave it, it too must be regulated. Both
pressure to comply. Wouldn’t people think them strange if individuals and society suffer when it is misused or used
they said no? Sexual harassment, stalking, and violence also without regulation."
are part of this ugly scene.
Unchaste men and women can hardly say with Mary, "Behold,
Sometimes, of course, unmarried young women and men do I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be done to me according
say they’re "in love" when they engage in sex. Then the to your word." (Lk 1:38) Unchaste people do as they please,
relationship ends, the partners enter into new relationships, not as pleases God. They should recall Scripture’s warning:
they again have sex, and again they say they’re "in love." It "No immoral or impure man…has any inheritance in the
mocks love to call serial fornication by this name. And it kingdom of Christ and of God" (Eph 5:5). The oldest piece of
mocks parental responsibility for parents to imagine they’ve Christian writing outside the Bible is The Teaching of the
done their duty by telling their children to avoid unprotected Twelve Apostles. Known as the Didache, it calls abortion,
sex and have sex only in a caring relationship. infanticide, fornication, and adultery "a way of death."

Legalized abortion flows from the mentality I am describing. Certainly, someone may object: "God is a God of mercy. He
Despite dishonest chatter about making abortion safe, legal, doesn’t condemn people. Jesus didn’t condemn the woman
and rare, there have been 45 million abortions in the United caught in adultery, did he?" Let’s see. Here is the passage
States since the Supreme Court gave its blessing to abortion in from chapter 8 of John’s Gospel:
1973. The destruction of 45 million human lives in a little over
thirty years is not what most people would call "rare." Jesus looked up and said to her, "Woman, where are they
[those who had wanted to stone her to death]? Has no one
Veterans of the abortion movement now speak of the need to condemned you?" She said, ‘No one, Lord.’ And Jesus said,
preserve their daughters’ right to choose abortion. "If you "Neither do I condemn you; go, and do not sin again."
want to kill our unborn grandchildren," they say in effect,
"that’s your right." Disordered sexual behavior lies at the root No, Jesus did not condemn her. And neither did he excuse her.
of this cancer in our society. "Go, and do not sin again," he said. This is a message we all
must take to heart.
Disordered sexual attitudes and practices before marriage
make chastity harder after marriage. Women are encouraged Chastity has never been easy, but today it is harder than ever
to be as "liberated" as men. But disordered sex is a recipe for because of the many inducements to be unchaste and the
conflict, infidelity, self-hatred and hatred of the other, for widespread ignorance of the Christian tradition and the
violence, desertion, and the breakdown of relationships in teaching of the Church. Many people would like to do the
marriage. This is a strange liberation that entraps, enslaves, right thing–if only they knew what that was and felt up to the
and destroys! effort.

Sex education in the schools–unfortunately, even in some Back in the 4th century, St. Augustine knew what wanting and
Catholic schools–frequently has little or nothing to do with not wanting to be chaste was like. He called it "sickness" for
morality. Concentrating on the physiology of sex and the soul to be "so weighted down by custom that it cannot
contraception, its message to young people is that when they wholly rise even with the support of truth." But persistence
have sex, they should take steps to prevent pregnancy and seeking chastity is crowned with success. Thanks to God’s
disease. This destructive miseducation is reinforced by help, Augustine succeeded. As charity increases, he wrote
television, movies, music videos, and youth magazines. later, "greed diminishes; when it reaches perfection, greed is
no more." Similarly the growth of charity in the soul
The meaning of chastity for everyone eventually removes the lust that inclines people to act
unchastely, for lust is a form of greed. Good love drives out
The Church’s message about chastity is simple: the great good bad. Now let’s look at some specific issues.
of sex may not be separated from procreation, love, and
marriage. Sexual intimacy and sexual relations are only Marital chastity
appropriate between a man and woman united in marriage.
Consent isn’t enough; faith and reason should govern and Aristotle remarked in the Nicomachean Ethics (1162a, 25-30)
guide desire and passion. that while men and women marry for reasons of usefulness
and pleasure, their "friendship may be based also on virtue, if
My predecessor, Bishop James C. Timlin, once pointed to the the parties are good…. And children seem to be a bond of
likeness between the appetite for food and drink and the union (which is the reason why childless people part more
appetite for sex. If food and drink are to accomplish God’s easily); for children are a good common to both and what is
purpose, the health of the body, then the appetite for them common holds them together." Chastity, which embraces
must be regulated; otherwise, they become threats to health. openness to children and the choice to stay together, is the key
"The other powerful appetite given by God," Bishop Timlin to a happy marriage.
The Bible makes it clear that married love is a great gift from her stands." Then this tough-minded realist about human
God. This is the message of the Book of Genesis and the nature added a catch: "With all of us being materialists at
Letter to the Ephesians. heart, there is little wonder that it causes unease."

Genesis makes two enormously important points about human Pope Paul VI stated the teaching clearly in his prophetic
beings. First, they are made in the image and likeness of God. encyclical Humanae Vitae (12): "There is an unbreakable
Second, seeing "it was not good for man to be alone" (Gn connection between the unitive and procreative meaning, and
2:18), God created woman and, by ordaining that the two both are inherent in the conjugal act. God established this
become "one flesh" (Gn 2:24), made the love of husband and connection, and man is not permitted to break it through his
wife a visible sign of his love for the world. And, as Ephesians own volition." Even so, people–including many Catholics–do
points out, by the redemptive activity of Christ, the love of break that connection all the time. Does that have something
husband and wife is a sign–a kind of sacrament–of the to do with our being, as Flannery O’Connor said, "materialists
mystery of the love between Christ and his Church (Eph 5:32). at heart?"
In marrying, a man and woman establish a lifelong
partnership, for their own good and the good of their children. But after all, what’s wrong with contraception? By
Because Christian marriage is a sign of Christ’s covenant with contraception, people willingly act against both the
the Church, its covenantal nature makes divorce impossible procreative, life-giving meaning of conjugal intercourse and
for a man and woman joined in sacramental marriage. "To the unitive, love-giving meaning. Setting one’s will against, as
bear witness to the inestimable value of the indissolubility and well as acting against fundamental human purposes like these,
fidelity of marriage is one of the most precious and most is moral evil: sin.
urgent tasks of Christian couples in our time," according to
Pope John Paul II. (Familiaris Consortio, 20) It doesn’t help to say that one is avoiding procreation so that
love can be more freely expressed. The two things are so
Soon after becoming Pope, our Holy Father devoted a famous intimately linked, Pope John Paul II points out, that "the
series of Wednesday audience talks to a theology of the body. conjugal act deprived of its interior truth, because artificially
It is a theology rooted in his philosophical studies and one of deprived of its procreative capacity, ceases to be an act of
its key insights concerns the body’s "nuptial" meaning. love."

"Right from the beginning," he said, the human body in its What does someone who practices contraception communicate
masculinity or femininity includes "the nuptial attribute, that to his or her spouse? "I love you deeply–but not completely, of
is, the capacity of expressing love…in which the person course. I give myself to you entirely–but only up to a point. I
becomes a gift and, by means of this gift, fulfills the meaning trust God unconditionally–but we’ve got to look out for
of his being or existence." Does the Catholic Church take a ourselves." This is a badly mixed message, to say the least.
negative view of sex and seek to deny people the pleasures of
sexual expression? Critics say so, but they’re wrong. As Pope Things are very different with a husband and wife open to
Paul VI wrote in Humanae Vitae –citing the Vatican II bringing a new life into the world. They are prepared to live
document Gaudium et Spes–the Church teaches that conjugal even more fully in service to one another and to sacrifice for
relations between a husband and wife are "good and worthy of the common good of their family.
human dignity." Marital chastity preserves that goodness and
protects that dignity. But what about couples who have a good reason to put off
having a child? Then the morally right answer is Natural
Growth in friendship between husband and wife requires that Family Planning (NFP). NFP today is not the calendar-rhythm
they make constant efforts to grow in love of God and method of the 1940s and 1950s. NFP refers to scientifically
neighbor and avoid sin–not only sins against chastity but also proven, morally acceptable methods by which a couple
sins like pride, anger, alcohol abuse, drug addiction, laziness, determines the woman’s fertile and infertile periods, with a
holding grudges, withholding forgiveness, and much else. view either to conceiving a child or postponing conception.
Both artificial contraception and NFP can fail when not used
To do this, a Catholic couple must know their faith, receive properly, but the success rate of NFP is fully comparable to
the sacraments, and strive for the perfection of charity. With that of contraception. And the rate of divorce among NFP
God’s grace, mediated especially through the sacrament of couples is much lower than among contracepting couples,
matrimony, as well as frequent reception of the sacraments of thanks to the high degree of communication, mutual
Penance and the Eucharist, wife and husband can conquer consideration, and respect that NFP involves.
their sins and disordered inclinations and love one another as
Christ loves the Church and the Church loves Christ. Then Homosexuality and same-sex unions
their marriage and family life become manifestations of great
beauty, sources of happiness for themselves and their children, Widespread acceptance of contraception paved the way for
inspirations to others. Then they are on the way to being–I approval of the homosexual lifestyle and efforts to have same-
write these words gladly–married saints. sex unions accepted as marriages. As with many other bad
Contraception and natural family planning ideas, the logic is unassailable once you grant the fundamental
premise: that it is all right to separate the procreative purpose
The Catholic writer Flannery O’Connor called the Church’s of sexual intercourse from the unitive purpose. Of course the
doctrine on contraception "the most absolutely spiritual of all same logic can just as well be used on behalf of other sexual
practices that are still generally considered unacceptable. behavior is sinful. Parents must of course be models of chaste
behavior themselves. They can help their children develop
If homosexual "marriage" ever becomes the law of the land, self-mastery by cautioning them against unchaste thoughts and
the views pronounced by the Supreme Judicial Court of immodest behavior, and warning them against–when they are
Massachusetts when legalizing it in that state will be imposed young, denying them access to–movies, TV shows, Internet
on the rest of the country. For instance, these views include sites, and other sources of lewdness and pornography.
the notions that marriage is intended mainly to benefit adults;
that children do not need a mother and a father; that other Parents should chaperone children’s parties and social
ways of raising children are as good as the mother-father way; activities and supervise dating. (Pre-pubescent and pubescent
and that marriage is the creation of the state. children shouldn’t date at all.) Catholic parents must see that
their children learn and practice the faith. In the present
Then society will attempt to condition us to stop speaking of unhealthy cultural environment, faith and virtuous behavior
"husbands" and "wives" and to speak of "partners." Children can’t be taken for granted or left to chance.
will have to be taught about homosexual sex in marriage-
preparation and sex-education classes. Anyone who objects Parishes and Catholic schools and religious education
will be branded a "homophobe." Churches that teach the programs are obliged to support and reinforce the teaching of
contrary doctrine of their sacred books and traditions will be conscientious parents. Bearing in mind that they are role
called bigoted and threatened with legal coercion. models as well as information sources, religion teachers and
catechists–indeed, all teachers, administrators, coaches,
The Catechism of the Catholic Church (2357) presents the librarians, and other staff–should know and observe the
teaching of the Catholic Church in these words: teaching of the Church. Every class, subject, and activity, from
science and literature to athletics and the school play, is a
"Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual potential setting for communicating sound principles.
acts as acts of grave disorder, tradition has always declared
that ‘homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered.’ They are Like responsible parents, teachers face a daunting task today,
contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the given the fact that children are bombarded with incitements to
gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and be unchaste and may have hardly heard the word chastity,
sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be much less learned what it means and been helped to live it out.
approved." Among other things, teachers need to encourage their pupils to
attend weekly Sunday Mass and receive the sacraments of
Recognizing same-sex unions as marriages would be a serious penance and the Eucharist regularly.
blow to traditional marriage for it would demean the unique
relationship of wife and husband. It would be like giving a Parish priests should speak the truth about human sexuality
diamond and a piece of glass the same name–"diamond"–and and sexual sin. Homilies, the sacrament of Penance, and
the same price. sacramental preparation, especially before marriage, are
important occasions for doing this. Pastoral sensitivity is
Traditional marriage was already under assault–from always in order, but silence is not.
cohabitation, contraception, infidelity, and divorce–before
same-sex "marriage" came along. But traditional marriages Careful instruction in Natural Family Planning should be part
and families are essential to a healthy society. For the sake of of marriage-preparation programs. NFP should never be
the common good, as well as individuals, they should be presented as merely a subject for discussion that listeners are
defended and preserved. free to ignore. Where our own knowledge may be behind the
times, we bishops and priests need to update ourselves on
At the same time, people with a homosexual orientation Natural Family Planning, Pope John Paul II’s theology of the
deserve the same respect and fair treatment as everyone else. body, and other developments.
They should not be targets of unjust discrimination and
certainly not targets of violence. Called to live chaste, holy Let us take the Blessed Virgin Mary as our model and guide.
lives, they should receive the support of the Christian As the Second Vatican Council affirmed in Lumen Gentium
community in their efforts to practice chastity. The (64), Mary "preserves with virginal purity an integral faith, a
organization, Courage, offers important ministry to aid those firm hope, and a sincere charity." Her special spiritual
seeking to live chaste lives. fruitfulness comes from purity and openness to the Father’s
will; by imitating her, we too can be spiritually fruitful.
Education in chastity
But the Blessed Virgin is more than just someone to imitate.
Many persons and groups have roles in educating children and As mediatrix of grace to those who call upon her with sincere
young people in chastity. The need for such education is devotion, she helps us in our efforts to be holy. Loving us with
greater than ever today because of the miseducation in a mother’s compassion, she wants Christ to be born in us
unchastity that American children and young people receive individually and as a pilgrim Church. With God’s grace,
from other sources. through Mary, may we all be chaste. "Blessed are the pure in
heart, for they shall see God." (Mt 5:8)
Parents should teach their children from an early age that
chastity is to be prized and cherished and that unchaste