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The document evaluates a report on changes in a public park from 1920 to today, highlighting an overall band score of 5.5. It notes grammatical mistakes, vocabulary complexity, and coherence issues while providing feedback on task response and lexical resource. The report summarizes main features and comparisons effectively, though improvements in grammar and transitions are recommended.

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2 views

writing_assessment (4)

The document evaluates a report on changes in a public park from 1920 to today, highlighting an overall band score of 5.5. It notes grammatical mistakes, vocabulary complexity, and coherence issues while providing feedback on task response and lexical resource. The report summarizes main features and comparisons effectively, though improvements in grammar and transitions are recommended.

Uploaded by

Eduka Pro
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Topic: Summarize the information by selecting and reporting

the main features and, make comparison where relevant

Overall Band Score:


5.5

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes:
26

Vocabulary Repetition:
water: 4
amphitheatre: 3
feature: 3
----Corrected Writing----

Original Corrected

The plans below outline the change of a The plans below outline the changes in
public park from 1920 to today. a public park from 1920 to today.

The most obviously change is that the The most obvious change is that the
fountain was replaced by a large rose fountain was replaced by a large rose
garden with seats surrounding which garden, with seats surrounding it, which
spread around the park before. What's spread around the park before. What is
more, the stage for musicians was more, the stage for musicians was
displaced by the amphitheatre for replaced by the amphitheater for
concerts that occupies bigger space. concerts, which occupies a bigger
Beside the amphitheatre, there is the space. Beside the amphitheater, there is
last old small rose garden existed. In the last old, small rose garden that
addition, the position of the water existed. In addition, the position of the
feature today was where the glasshouse water feature today was where the
located in 1920. Furthermore, the pond glasshouse was located in 1920.
for water plants was replaced by the Furthermore, the pond for water plants
children's play area and a new cafe is was replaced by the children's play
near to it. Besides, the park adds one area, and a new cafe is near it.
more entrance for underground car Besides, the park added one more
park. entrance for the underground car park.

There is one main feature There is one main feature unchanged—


unchanged-----the two entrances still the two entrances still exist. The
exist. The function of amphitheatre for function of the amphitheater for concerts
concerts is similar to the stage for is similar to the stage for musicians, but
musicians but it has massive seats for it has massive seats for the audience.
audience. Moreover, the functions of Moreover, the functions of the fountain
fountain and water feature are same, and water feature are the same; both
both of them are artificial landscape are artificial landscapes made of water.
made of water.

Word Count: 171


Word Count: 162
----Feedback----

Task Response Coherence & Lexical Resource Grammatical


Cohesion Range &
Accuracy

6.5 5.5 6 4

The report The report is A good range of While the report


accurately generally coherent, vocabulary is demonstrates
summarizes the but the flow could used, although some grammatical
main features of be improved with some word range, there are
both plans and smoother choices could be several errors that
makes relevant transitions more precise and affect the overall
comparisons. between ideas. sophisticated. The clarity and fluency.
Minor details are Some sentences language is Improving
omitted, but the lack clear generally accurate grammatical
overall connections, and appropriate. accuracy would
understanding is impacting the significantly
strong. overall cohesion. enhance the
report.

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