Descriptive Paragraph

Sample Paragraphs

"Inside District School #7, Niagara County, New York"

by Joyce Carol Oates

"Inside, the school smelled smartly of varnish and wood smoke from the
potbellied stove. On gloomy days, not unknown in upstate New York in this
region south of Lake Ontario and east of Lake Erie, the windows emitted a vague,
gauzy light, not much reinforced by ceiling lights. We squinted at the blackboard,
that seemed far away since it was on a small platform, where Mrs. Dietz's desk
was also positioned, at the front, left of the room. We sat in rows of seats, smallest
at the front, largest at the rear, attached at their bases by metal runners, like a
toboggan; the wood of these desks seemed beautiful to me, smooth and of the red-
burnished hue of horse chestnuts. The floor was bare wooden planks. An
American flag hung limply at the far left of the blackboard and above the
blackboard, running across the front of the room, designed to draw our eyes to it
avidly, worshipfully, were paper squares showing that beautifully shaped script
known as Parker Penmanship."

In this paragraph (originally published in "Washington Post Book World" and reprinted in "Faith
of a Writer: Life, Craft, Art"), Joyce Carol Oates affectionately describes the one-room
schoolhouse she attended from first through fifth grades. Notice how she appeals to our sense of
smell before moving on to describe the layout and contents of the room. When you walk into a
place, its overall smell hits you immediately, if it's pungent, even before you've taken in the
whole area with your eyes. Thus this choice of chronology for this descriptive paragraph is also a
logical order of narration, even though it differs from the Hong Kingston paragraph. It allows the
reader to imagine the room just as if he were walking into it.

The positioning of items relative to other items is on full display in this paragraph, to give people
a clear vision of the layout of the place as a whole. For the objects inside, she uses many
descriptors of what materials they are made from. Note the imagery portrayed by the use of the
phrases "gauzy light," "toboggan," and "horse chestnuts." You can imagine the emphasis placed
on penmanship study by the description of their quantity, the deliberate location of the paper
squares, and the desired effect upon the students brought about by this location.

"Gregory"

by Barbara Carter

"Gregory is my beautiful gray Persian cat. He walks with pride and grace,
performing a dance of disdain as he slowly lifts and lowers each paw with the
 delicacy of a ballet dancer. His pride, however, does not extend to his
appearance, for he spends most of his time indoors watching television and
growing fat. He enjoys TV commercials, especially those for Meow Mix and 9
Lives. His familiarity with cat food commercials has led him to reject generic
brands of cat food in favor of only the most expensive brands. Gregory is as
finicky about visitors as he is about what he eats, befriending some and repelling
others. He may snuggle up against your ankle, begging to be petted, or he may
imitate a skunk and stain your favorite trousers. Gregory does not do this to
establish his territory, as many cat experts think, but to humiliate me because he
is jealous of my friends. After my guests have fled, I look at the old fleabag
snoozing and smiling to himself in front of the television set, and I have to
forgive him for his obnoxious, but endearing, habits."

The writer here focuses less on the physical appearance of her pet than on the cat's habits and
actions. Notice how many different descriptors go into just the sentence about how the cat walks:
emotions of pride and disdain and the extended metaphor of the dancer, including the phrases
"dance of disdain," "grace," and "ballet dancer." When you want to portray something through
the use of a metaphor, make sure you are consistent, and that all the descriptors make sense with
that one metaphor. Don't use two different metaphors to describe the same thing, because that
makes the image you're trying to portray awkward and convoluted. The consistency adds
emphasis and depth to the description.

Personification is an effective literary device for giving lifelike detail to an inanimate object or
an animal, and Carter uses it to great effect. Look at how much time she spends on the
discussions of what the cat takes pride in (or doesn't) and how it comes across in his attitude,
with being finicky and jealous, acting to humiliate by spraying, and just overall behaving
obnoxiously. Still, she conveys her clear affection for the cat, something to which many readers
can relate.

"A Gift"

"On one corner of my dresser sits a smiling toy clown on a tiny unicycle―a
gift I received last Christmas from a close friend. The clown's short yellow
hair, made of yarn, covers its ears but is parted above the eyes. The blue eyes
are outlined in black with thin, dark lashes flowing from the brows. It has
cherry-red cheeks, nose, and lips, and its broad grin disappears into the wide,
white ruffle around its neck. The clown wears a fluffy, two-tone nylon
costume. The left side of the outfit is light blue, and the right side is red. The
two colors merge in a dark line that runs down the center of the small outfit.
Surrounding its ankles and disguising its long black shoes are big pink bows.
The white spokes on the wheels of the unicycle gather in the center and
expand to the black tire so that the wheel somewhat resembles the inner half
of a grapefruit. The clown and unicycle together stand about a foot high. As a
cherished gift from my good friend Tran, this colorful figure greets me with a
smile every time I enter my room."
Observe how the writer moves clearly from a description of the head of the clown to the body to
the unicycle underneath. More than sensory details for the eyes, she provides touch, in the
description that the hair is made of yarn and the suit of nylon. Certain colors are specific, as in
cherry-red cheeks and light blue, and descriptions help the reader visualize the object: the parted
hair, the color line on the suit, and the grapefruit analogy. Dimensions overall help to provide the
reader with the item's scale, and the descriptions of the size of the ruffle and bows on the shoes in
comparison to what's nearby provide telling detail. The concluding sentence helps to tie the
paragraph together by emphasizing the personal value of this gift.

6 Tips for Writing Descriptive Paragraph

1. 1. Cut out obvious descriptions. One of the most common traps that new writers fall
into is using predictable words to describe something—for instance, writing a sentence
like, “The blue sky was dotted with white, fluffy clouds.” For the most part, when
someone hears the word “sky,” they’ll picture it blue, and when they picture clouds,
they’ll picture them “white” and “fluffy.” Adjectives like these are unnecessary and can
bog down your writing. Simply cut those descriptive words out of the sentence. “The
sky was dotted with clouds” conjures the exact same image and is shorter and more
focused.
2. 2. Use surprising words. Once your sentences are free of any obvious descriptive
details, you have the space to pepper in some more interesting words. Pushing your
descriptions in new and surprising directions will help your sentences be memorable for
readers. For instance, if you want to describe a rainy day, the easy way to describe it
would be to mention “the stormy sky”—but something a little more unique could be
“the angry sky” or “the boiling sky.” Brainstorm common adjectives and other
describing words and use them in unique ways to keep your writing fresh and
interesting.
3. 3. Remember sensory details. A common adage for good descriptive writing is “show,
don’t tell”—and sensory information is a great way to make that happen. Sprinkling in
specific details that appeal to readers’ five senses (sight, hearing, taste, touch, and
smell) will bring your scenes to life and make them feel richer and more interesting.
4. 4. Make use of figurative language. One of the most powerful literary devices
that writers have is figurative language , which goes beyond literal definitions in order
to describe things in a more interesting way. Comparisons like similes (using “like” or
“as”) or metaphors (saying one thing is something else) can help paint instant pictures
of your characters or settings; for instance, “His nose was a gnarled root growing out of
his face” can pack a lot more punch than saying “His nose was twisted and misshapen.”
Other types of figurative language include onomatopoeia , which uses words that sound
like what they mean (e.g., “the pitter-patter of raindrops”), and hyperbole, which is a
form of exaggeration (e.g., “he rang the doorbell a million times”).
5. Think about who is doing the describing. In most points of view, you’ll be writing
from a character’s perspective—either using “I” and “me” in first-person or “they” and
“them” in third-person. It may not seem obvious at first, but point of view is a
descriptive element that can help you build a believable world for your story. To use
point of view properly, make sure that you’re thinking about your character’s
 perspective as you describe so that the description feels true to the way they would
speak.
6. Be wary of over-description. To create effective descriptive writing, less is more. Try
to limit yourself to one or two interesting details the first time you introduce a character
or setting, and readers will fill in the rest. For instance, if you say “The cabin room was
sparse except for the looming stuffed grizzly in the corner,” readers can fill in the
details for themselves without you needing to describe the floorboards, the windows,
the bedsheets, and what your character had for dinner last week. This will help readers
remember each character or setting better than if you had an entire descriptive
paragraph for each.

Instructions for Writing a Descriptive Paragraph

1. Determine the Purpose:

Decide the reason for your description—whether to inform, entertain, or evoke a specific
feeling in the reader.
2. Use Sensory Details:
Include details that appeal to the five senses (sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch) to
create a vivid image.
3. Start with a Strong Topic Sentence:
Introduce the subject of the paragraph clearly and set the tone for the description.
4. Organize Your Details:
Arrange the details logically, such as spatially (from top to bottom, left to right) or by
importance.
5. Use Figurative Language:
Enhance your writing with similes, metaphors, personification, and other figurative
language to make the description more engaging.
6. Be Specific and Precise:
Avoid vague or general descriptions; instead, focus on unique characteristics and fine
details.
7. Create a Mood or Atmosphere:
Use your word choices to convey a particular emotion or mood that matches your subject.
8. Include Adjectives and Adverbs:
Use descriptive words to enhance nouns and verbs, but avoid overloading the paragraph.
9. Show, Don’t Tell:
Instead of stating facts, paint a picture in the reader's mind by demonstrating what the
subject is like.
10. Maintain Focus:
Stick to the main subject and avoid introducing irrelevant details.
11. Conclude with Impact:
End the paragraph with a sentence that reinforces the overall impression or leaves a
lasting impact on the reader.
12. Revise and Edit:
Review the paragraph for clarity, coherence, and vividness. Check for grammar and
spelling errors.