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Contents
1. Cover
2. Title Page
3. Copyright Page
4. About the Author
5. About the Source Code and Project files
6. Contents
7. 1 Introduction to the Arduino

1. What Is an Arduino?
2. Why the Arduino Mega 2560?
3. The Arduino Mega 2560 Specifications
4. The Official Arduino Mega 2560
5. Arduino Mega 2560 Components
6. Overview of the C/C++ Language for the Arduino
7. Arduino Development System Requirements
8. Hands-on Example: A Simple Arduino “Hello World”
Program with an LED
9. Summary

8. 2 Introduction to the ESP8266

1. What Is the ESP8266

2. Technical Specification of the ESP8266
3. The ESP-01 Module
4. Overview of Essential AT Commands
5. Quick Start Guide to the AT Command Set
6. Hands-on Example: Using an ESP-01 with an Arduino
Mega 2560
7. The NodeMCU
8. Hands-on Example: The Blink Sketch
9. Hands-on Example: Multiple Blinking External LEDs
10. Summary

9. 3 Introduction to the Android

 1. What Is Android?
2. Hands-on Example: The Hello World Example
3. Importing Projects Between Android Studio Versions
4. Summary
10. 4 Arduino with ESP-01 and Android Basic Wireless Framework

1. The Arduino with ESP-01 and Android Basic Wireless

Communication Framework Overview
2. The Android Client Wireless Communication Framework
Code
3. The Menu Items
4. The WifiMessageHandler Class
5. Class Overview
6. The WifiMessageHandler Class Constructor
7. The MainActivity Class
8. The Arduino with ESP-01 Server Wireless Communication
Framework Code
9. Hands-on Example: The Basic Arduino, ESP-01, and
Android Wireless Communications Framework
10. Summary

11. 5 Arduino with ESP8266 (ESP-01 Module) and Android Wireless

Sensor and Remote Control Projects I

1. General System Overview

2. The HC-SR501 Infrared Motion Detector
3. Hands-on Example: The HC-SR501 Infrared Motion
Detector Alarm System
4. The FC-04 Sound Sensor
5. Hands-on Example: The Wireless Sound Sensor Alarm
System
6. The HC-SR04 Distance Sensor
7. Hands-on Example: HC-SR04 Distance Sensor Intruder
Alarm System
8. The YL-38/YL-69 Water/Moisture Detector
9. Hands-on Example: The Water Detector Water Leak
Wireless Alarm System
10. The Light Emitting Diode (LED)
11. Hands-on Example: The Remote Wireless Control of an
LED
12. The RGB LED (Common Ground Version)
 13. Hands-on Example: The Remote Wireless RGB LED
Control System
14. The CEM-1203(42) Piezo Buzzer
15. Hands-on Example: The Remote Wireless Piezo Buzzer
Control System
16. Summary
12. 6 Arduino with ESP8266 (ESP-01 Module) and Android Wireless
Sensor and Remote Control Projects II

1. The Reed Switch Magnetic Field Sensor

2. Hands-on Example: The Wireless Reed Switch Door Entry
Alarm System
3. The Ywrobot Flame Sensor
4. Hands-on Example: The Wireless Flame Sensor Fire Alarm
System
5. The Sunfounder Tilt Switch Sensor
6. Hands-on Example: The Tilt/Vibrate Wireless Alarm
System
7. TMP36 Temperature Sensor
8. Hands-on Example: The TMP36 Wireless Temperature
Monitoring and Alarm System
9. The Photo Resistor
10. Hands-on Example: The Wireless Remote Controlled Light
Activated LED
11. The DHT11 Temperature/Humidity Sensor
12. Hands-on Example: The Wireless DHT11
Temperature/Humidity Remote Monitoring and Alarm
System
13. Arduino Cameras
14. Hands-on Example: The ArduCAM OV2640 Camera
Wireless Remote Surveillance System
15. Summary

13. 7 Standalone ESP8266 (Model: NodeMCU ESP-12E) and Android

Wireless Sensor and Remote Control Projects

1. The Android and NodeMCU (ESP-12E) Wireless System

Overview
2. Modifying the Android Basic Wireless Framework for the
NodeMCU (ESP-12E) Platform
 3. The NodeMCU (ESP-12E) Basic Wireless Server
Framework
4. Hands-on Example: The Basic Wireless Framework Version
1.3 for the Android and NodeMCU Microprocessor
5. Hands-on Example: The Wireless Glass Break/Sound
Detector Alarm System
6. Hands-on Example: The Wireless HC-SR501 Infrared
Motion Detector Alarm System
7. The SW520D Tilt and Vibration Sensor
8. Hands-on Example: The Wireless Tilt and Vibration Sensor
System
9. The KeyesIR Obstacle Avoidance Sensor
10. Hands-on Example: The Wireless KeyesIR Obstacle
Avoidance Alarm System
11. The Funduino Water Level Sensor
12. Hands-on Example: The Wireless Water Level Detector
Alarm System
13. Summary
14. 8 Android, Arduino, ESP-01, and NodeMCU ESP-12E Wireless
Sensor and Remote Control Projects

1. The ArduCAM Mini OV2640 2MP Plus

2. Hands-on Example: The Wireless ArduCAM Mini 2MP Plus
Camera Surveillance System
3. Hands-on Example: The Wireless ArduCAM Mini OV2640
2MP Plus Camera and HC-SR501 Infrared Motion Detector
Surveillance and Alarm System for the Arduino Mega 2560
Server
4. The Basic Android, Arduino with ESP-01, and NodeMCU
Wireless Multi-Client Framework
5. Overview of the Android Basic Wireless Framework Version
2.0 Application
6. Example of Setting Up the Arduino with ESP-01 for
Station/Client Mode
7. Hands-on Example: The ArduCAM OV2640 2MP Mini Plus
Camera Arduino Mega 2560 Client Surveillance System
with NodeMCU Server
8. Hands-on Example: The ArduCAM OV2640 2MP Mini Plus
Infrared Motion Detection Arduino Mega 2560 Client
Surveillance and Alarm System with NodeMCU Server
 9. Hands-on Example: The Infrared Motion Detection Alarm
System Using the NodeMCU Server
10. Hands-on Example: The ArduCAM OV2640 2MP Mini Plus
and Infrared Motion Detection Arduino Mega 2560 Client
Surveillance and Alarm System with NodeMCU Server with
an Infrared Motion Detection Alarm System
11. Summary
15. 9 The Bonus Chapter: The Emergency Backup Battery Power
System, Power Intensive Related Projects, Using the NodeMCU with
an ArduCAM Mini Camera, and Some Important Downloads

1. Circuit Troubleshooting Tips

2. Android Basic Wireless Framework APKs
3. Converting the Android Basic Wireless Framework Version
2.0 Project from Android Studio 1.5 to Android Studio 2.3.1
4. The Automatic Battery Backup Power Supply System
5. The SG90 9g Micro Servo
6. The YwRobot 545043 Power Supply Module for a
Breadboard
7. Hands-on Example: The Wireless Remote Control Servo
System Using the Arduino Mega 2560 and ESP-01 Server
8. Hands-on Example: The Remote Control Wireless DC
Motor Control System Using the Arduino Mega 2560 with
an ESP-01 Server
9. The Stepper Motor and the ULN2003 Stepper Motor Driver
Board
10. Hands-on Example: The Wireless Remote Controlled
Stepper Motor System Using the Arduino Mega 2560 and
the ESP-01 Server
11. The ArduCAM Library and GitHub
12. Hands-on Example: The Wireless NodeMCU and ArduCAM
Mini OV2640 Plus Surveillance System
13. The MQ-2 Smoke Detector
14. The 5-V Active Buzzer
15. Hands-on Example: The Wireless Remote Controlled
Smoke Detector Alarm System Using the Arduino Mega
2560 and the ESP-01 Server
16. The MQ-2 Smoke Detector (Analog Version)
17. Hands-on Example: Wireless Remote Controlled Smoke
Detector (Analog) Alarm System Using Arduino and ESP-
01
 18. Summary
16. Index

Guide
1. Cover
2. Title Page
3. A DIY Smart Home Guide: Tools for Automating Your Home
Monitoring and Security Using Arduino, ESP8266, and Android

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About the Author

Robert Chin has a Bachelor of Science degree in computer

engineering and is experienced in developing projects on the
ESP8266, TI CC3200 SimpleLink, Android, Arduino, Raspberry
Pi, and PC Windows platforms using C/C++, Java, Python,
Unreal Script, DirectX, OpenGL, and OpenGL ES 2.0. He is the
author of Arduino and Raspberry Pi Sensor Projects for the
Evil Genius published by McGraw-Hill. He is also the author of
Beginning Android 3D Game Development and Beginning iOS
3D Unreal Games Development, both published by Apress and
distributed by Springer Nature. Beginning Android 3D Game
Development was licensed to Tsinghua University through
Tsinghua University Press. He was the technical reviewer for
UDK Game Development, published by Course Technology
Cengage Learning. His home security related books include
Home Security System DIY PRO Using Android and TI
CC3200 SimpleLink, Home Security Systems DIY Using
Android and Arduino, and Beginning Arduino ov7670 Camera
Development.
About the Source Code and
Project files

The source code and Android APK files for this book are located
at:

https://www.mhprofessional.com/Chin_SmartHome

For your convenience, all the Android APK installation files

have been placed in the Chapter 9 download section.
 Contents
1 Introduction to the Arduino

What Is an Arduino?

Why the Arduino Mega 2560?

The Arduino Mega 2560 Specifications

The Official Arduino Mega 2560

Arduino Mega 2560 Components

Overview of the C/C++ Language for the Arduino

Arduino Development System Requirements

Hands-on Example: A Simple Arduino “Hello World” Program

with an LED

Summary

2 Introduction to the ESP8266

What Is the ESP8266

Technical Specification of the ESP8266

The ESP-01 Module

Overview of Essential AT Commands

Quick Start Guide to the AT Command Set

Hands-on Example: Using an ESP-01 with an Arduino Mega

2560

The NodeMCU

Hands-on Example: The Blink Sketch

Hands-on Example: Multiple Blinking External LEDs

Summary

3 Introduction to the Android

What Is Android?

Hands-on Example: The Hello World Example

Importing Projects Between Android Studio Versions

Summary

4 Arduino with ESP-01 and Android Basic Wireless

Framework

The Arduino with ESP-01 and Android Basic Wireless

Communication Framework Overview

The Android Client Wireless Communication Framework Code

The Menu Items

The WifiMessageHandler Class

Class Overview
The WifiMessageHandler Class Constructor

The MainActivity Class

The Arduino with ESP-01 Server Wireless Communication

Framework Code

Hands-on Example: The Basic Arduino, ESP-01, and Android

Wireless Communications Framework

Summary

5 Arduino with ESP8266 (ESP-01 Module) and

Android Wireless Sensor and Remote Control Projects
I

General System Overview

The HC-SR501 Infrared Motion Detector

Hands-on Example: The HC-SR501 Infrared Motion Detector

Alarm System

The FC-04 Sound Sensor

Hands-on Example: The Wireless Sound Sensor Alarm System

The HC-SR04 Distance Sensor

Hands-on Example: HC-SR04 Distance Sensor Intruder Alarm

System

The YL-38/YL-69 Water/Moisture Detector

Hands-on Example: The Water Detector Water Leak Wireless

Alarm System
The Light Emitting Diode (LED)

Hands-on Example: The Remote Wireless Control of an LED

The RGB LED (Common Ground Version)

Hands-on Example: The Remote Wireless RGB LED Control

System

The CEM-1203(42) Piezo Buzzer

Hands-on Example: The Remote Wireless Piezo Buzzer Control

System

Summary

6 Arduino with ESP8266 (ESP-01 Module) and

Android Wireless Sensor and Remote Control Projects
II

The Reed Switch Magnetic Field Sensor

Hands-on Example: The Wireless Reed Switch Door Entry

Alarm System

The Ywrobot Flame Sensor

Hands-on Example: The Wireless Flame Sensor Fire Alarm

System

The Sunfounder Tilt Switch Sensor

Hands-on Example: The Tilt/Vibrate Wireless Alarm System

TMP36 Temperature Sensor

Hands-on Example: The TMP36 Wireless Temperature
Monitoring and Alarm System

The Photo Resistor

Hands-on Example: The Wireless Remote Controlled Light

Activated LED

The DHT11 Temperature/Humidity Sensor

Hands-on Example: The Wireless DHT11

Temperature/Humidity Remote Monitoring and Alarm System

Arduino Cameras

Hands-on Example: The ArduCAM OV2640 Camera Wireless

Remote Surveillance System

Summary

7 Standalone ESP8266 (Model: NodeMCU ESP-12E)

and Android Wireless Sensor and Remote Control
Projects

The Android and NodeMCU (ESP-12E) Wireless System

Overview

Modifying the Android Basic Wireless Framework for the

NodeMCU (ESP-12E) Platform

The NodeMCU (ESP-12E) Basic Wireless Server Framework

Hands-on Example: The Basic Wireless Framework Version 1.3

for the Android and NodeMCU Microprocessor
Hands-on Example: The Wireless Glass Break/Sound Detector
Alarm System

Hands-on Example: The Wireless HC-SR501 Infrared Motion

Detector Alarm System

The SW520D Tilt and Vibration Sensor

Hands-on Example: The Wireless Tilt and Vibration Sensor

System

The KeyesIR Obstacle Avoidance Sensor

Hands-on Example: The Wireless KeyesIR Obstacle Avoidance

Alarm System

The Funduino Water Level Sensor

Hands-on Example: The Wireless Water Level Detector Alarm

System

Summary

8 Android, Arduino, ESP-01, and NodeMCU ESP-12E

Wireless Sensor and Remote Control Projects

The ArduCAM Mini OV2640 2MP Plus

Hands-on Example: The Wireless ArduCAM Mini 2MP Plus

Camera Surveillance System

Hands-on Example: The Wireless ArduCAM Mini OV2640 2MP

Plus Camera and HC-SR501 Infrared Motion Detector
Surveillance and Alarm System for the Arduino Mega 2560
Server
The Basic Android, Arduino with ESP-01, and NodeMCU
Wireless Multi-Client Framework

Overview of the Android Basic Wireless Framework Version 2.0

Application

Example of Setting Up the Arduino with ESP-01 for

Station/Client Mode

Hands-on Example: The ArduCAM OV2640 2MP Mini Plus

Camera Arduino Mega 2560 Client Surveillance System with
NodeMCU Server

Hands-on Example: The ArduCAM OV2640 2MP Mini Plus

Infrared Motion Detection Arduino Mega 2560 Client
Surveillance and Alarm System with NodeMCU Server

Hands-on Example: The Infrared Motion Detection Alarm

System Using the NodeMCU Server

Hands-on Example: The ArduCAM OV2640 2MP Mini Plus and

Infrared Motion Detection Arduino Mega 2560 Client
Surveillance and Alarm System with NodeMCU Server with an
Infrared Motion Detection Alarm System

Summary

9 The Bonus Chapter: The Emergency Backup Battery

Power System, Power Intensive Related Projects,
Using the NodeMCU with an ArduCAM Mini Camera,
and Some Important Downloads

Circuit Troubleshooting Tips

Android Basic Wireless Framework APKs

Converting the Android Basic Wireless Framework Version 2.0
Project from Android Studio 1.5 to Android Studio 2.3.1

The Automatic Battery Backup Power Supply System

The SG90 9g Micro Servo

The YwRobot 545043 Power Supply Module for a Breadboard

Hands-on Example: The Wireless Remote Control Servo System

Using the Arduino Mega 2560 and ESP-01 Server

Hands-on Example: The Remote Control Wireless DC Motor

Control System Using the Arduino Mega 2560 with an ESP-01
Server

The Stepper Motor and the ULN2003 Stepper Motor Driver

Board

Hands-on Example: The Wireless Remote Controlled Stepper

Motor System Using the Arduino Mega 2560 and the ESP-01
Server

The ArduCAM Library and GitHub

Hands-on Example: The Wireless NodeMCU and ArduCAM

Mini OV2640 Plus Surveillance System

The MQ-2 Smoke Detector

The 5-V Active Buzzer

Hands-on Example: The Wireless Remote Controlled Smoke

Detector Alarm System Using the Arduino Mega 2560 and the
ESP-01 Server
The MQ-2 Smoke Detector (Analog Version)

Hands-on Example: Wireless Remote Controlled Smoke

Detector (Analog) Alarm System Using Arduino and ESP-01

Summary

Index
 CHAPTER 1

Introduction to the Arduino

IN THIS CHAPTER I INTRODUCE YOU to the Arduino. I first give a

brief explanation of what the Arduino is. I then specifically
concentrate on the Arduino Mega 2560. I discuss the general
features of the Arduino Mega 2560 including the capabilities
and key functional components of the device. Next, I give a
quick summary of languages that the Arduino uses which are C
and C++. Next, I discuss the Arduino Integrated Development
Environment (IDE) software that is needed to develop
programs for the Arduino. I cover each key function of the
Arduino IDE and then conclude with a hands-on example where
I give detailed step-by-step instructions on how to set up the
Arduino for development and how to run an example program
using the Arduino IDE.

WHAT IS AN ARDUINO?
The Arduino is an open-source microcontroller that uses the C
and C++ languages to control digital and analog outputs to
devices and electronics components and to read in digital and
analog inputs from other devices and electronics components
for processing. For example, the Arduino can read in
information from a sensor to a home security system that would
detect the heat that a human being emits and sends a signal to
the Arduino to indicate that a human is in front of the sensor.
After receiving this information the Arduino can send
commands to a camera to start taking pictures of the intruder or
intruders and save these images to an SD card for later viewing.
It can also transmit a message over Wi-Fi to an Android cell
phone so that a text alarm notification message is sent to the
homeowner. The official web site of the Arduino is
http://www.arduino.cc.

WHY THE ARDUINO MEGA

2560?
There are many different Arduino models out there. However,
in order to perform the examples in this book you will need an
Arduino Mega 2560. The reason for this is that the Arduino
Mega 2560 has many hardware serial ports that can
communicate at high speed with the ESP-01 ESP8266 module
that will be responsible for Wi-Fi communication. The Arduino
UNO only has one hardware serial port that is already used for
debugging with the Arduino IDE’s serial monitor. A separate
software serial port can be created on the Arduino UNO but it is
unreliable at high speeds with many people reporting that any
speed above 9600 baud is unreliable. Most of the recent ESP-01
modules being produced now are set to the default speed of
115,200 baud. Another consideration is the large amount of
current that the ESP-01 module can draw. The ESP-01 module
can draw up to 170 mA when operating under normal
circumstances. If you add in the current drawn by other
components attached to the Arduino, such as sensors, then the
total might quickly add up to the maximum current allowed for
the Arduino UNO which is around 400 mA. However, for the
Arduino Mega 2560 the maximum allowed current is 800 mA
which is considerably more. Also, please note that these
maximum currents should not be sustained for long periods of
time otherwise there could be damage to the Arduino board.
This information comes from the official Arduino web site at
https://playground.arduino.cc/Main/ArduinoPinCurrentLimita
tions.

THE ARDUINO MEGA 2560

SPECIFICATIONS
Microcontroller: ATmega2560

Operating voltage: 5 V

Input voltage (recommended): 7 to 12 V

Input voltage (limit): 6 to 20 V

Digital I/O pins: 54 (of which 15 provide PWM output)

Logic level: 5 V is true or high

Analog input pins: 16

DC current per I/O pin: 20 mA

DC current for 3.3 V pin: 50 mA

Total maximum current: 800 mA

Total maximum current (USB powered): 500 mA (>500 mA

will trip the Arduino’s fuse)

Flash memory: 256 kB of which 8 kB used by bootloader

SRAM: 8 kB

EEPROM: 4 kB

Clock speed: 16 MHz

 LED_BUILTIN: 13

Length: 101.52 mm

Width: 53.3 mm

Weight: 37 g

THE OFFICIAL ARDUINO MEGA

2560
I purchased an official Arduino Mega 2560 from the official
Arduino web site that was listed earlier for about $40.00 and
the unit arrived in early October 2018. Included in the package
was a new Arduino 2560 microcontroller, a thank you note, a
sheet of stickers, and a plastic stand that was attached to the
bottom of the Arduino. See Figure 1-1.
 Figure 1-1 Contents of the official Arduino Mega 2560 that
I purchased.

The backside of the Arduino 2560 is shown in Figure 1-2.

 Figure 1-2 Backside of the Arduino Mega 2560.

Since the Arduino Mega 2560 is an open-source hardware,

anyone can make and sell their own Arduino Mega 2560 board
legally as long as they don’t use certain logos that are
trademarked. Thus, there are many unofficial Arduino Mega
2560 boards available on sites such as Amazon that are a
fraction of the cost of an official Arduino. For example, on
Amazon I just searched for an Arduino Mega 2560 and the
search results returned many unofficial boards which cost
around $15.00 USD each. This is less than half the price of an
official Arduino Mega 2560 bought from the official Arduino
store.

ARDUINO MEGA 2560

COMPONENTS
This section covers the functional components of the Arduino
Mega 2560.

USB Connection Port

The Arduino Mega 2560 has a USB connector that is used to
connect the Arduino to the main computer development system
via standard USB A male to B male cable so it can be
programmed and debugged. See Figure 1-3.
 Figure 1-3 The USB port on the Arduino Mega 2560.

9-V Battery Connector

The Arduino Mega 2560 has a 9-V battery connector where you
can attach a 9-V battery to power the Arduino. See Figure 1-4.
 Figure 1-4 The 9-V battery connector for the Arduino
Mega 2560.

Reset Button
There is a Reset button on the Arduino Mega 2560 where you
can press the button down to reset the board. This restarts the
program contained in the Arduino’s memory. See Figure 1-5.
 Figure 1-5 The Reset button on the Arduino Mega 2560.

Digital Pulse Width Modulation (PWM)

The Arduino Mega has many digital pins capable of simulating
analog output through the process of PWM. For example, a
light-emitting diode (LED) light generally has only two modes
which are on (full brightness) and off (no light emitted).
However, with digital PWM the LED light can appear to have a
brightness in between on and off. For instance, with PWM an
LED can start from an off state and slowly brighten until it is at
its highest brightness level and then slowly dim until back to the
off state. The digital pins on the Arduino Mega 2560 that
support PWM are pins 2 through 13. These PWM capable digital
pins are circled in Figure 1-6.
Other documents randomly have
different content
 “Dempster, who was a great republican, was presenting an
address one day at court. He was hurt to see subordination prevail
so much, and was shocked to see the keen and able Lord
Marchmont[128] bowing just like the rest. He said he looked like a
chained eagle at a gentleman’s gate.”
From himself.

“Mr. Samuel Johnson said that all sceptical innovators were vain
men; and finding mankind allready (sic) in possession of Truth, they
found they could not gratify their vanity in supporting her, and so
they have taken to error. Truth (said he) is a cow which will yield
such people no more milk, and so they are gone to milk the bull.”
I was present.

“Captain Erskine[129] complained that Boswell’s hand was so

large, that his letters contained very little. My lines (said Boswell)
are, like my ideas, very irregular, and at a great distance from each
other.”

“Sir W. Maxwell[130] said he was allways affraid (sic) of a clever

man till he knew if he had good nature. ‘Yes,’ said Boswell; ‘when
you see a clever man you see a man brandishing a drawn sword,
and you are uneasy till you know if he intends only to make it glitter
in the sun, or to run you through the body with it.’”

“A robust Caledonian was telling (in the Scots pronunciation) that

he was born in Embro. ‘Indeed!’ said an English physician: ‘upon my
word, the prettiest abortion I ever saw.’”
Mr. Crawfurd,[131] Rotterdam.
 “Boswell said that men of lively fancies seldom tell a story so
distinctly as those of slower capacity, as they confound the intellect
with an excess of brilliancy. It is a common expression, I cannot see
for the light. It may also be said, I cannot understand you; you shine
so much.”

“Boswell told Mr. Samuel Johnson that a gentleman of their

acquaintance maintained in public company that he could see no
distinction between virtue and vice. ‘Sir,’ said Mr. Johnson, ‘does he
intend that we should believe that he is lying, or that he is in
earnest? If we think him a lyar, that is not honouring him very much.
But if we think him in earnest, when he leaves our houses let us
count our spoons.’”

“Mr. Sheridan, though a man of knowledge and parts, was a little

fancifull (sic) in his projects for establishing oratory and altering the
mode of British education. ‘Mr. Samuel Johnson,’ said Sherry, ‘cannot
abide me, for I allways ask him, Pray sir, what do you propose to
do?’”
From Mr. Johnson.

“Boswell was talking to Mr. Samuel Johnson of Mr. Sheridan’s

enthusiasm for the advancement of eloquence. ‘Sir,’ said Mr.
Johnson, ‘it won’t do. He cannot carry through his scheme. He is like
a man attempting to stride the English Channel. Sir, the cause bears
no proportion to the effect. It is setting up a candle at Whitechapel
to give light at Westminster.’”

“When Mr. Trotz,[132] Professor of Civil Law at Utrecht, was at

Copenhagen, he had a mind to hear the Danish pulpit oratory, and
went into one of their churches. At that time the barbarous custom
of making spoil of shipwrecked goods still prevailed in Denmark. The
minister prayed with great fervency: ‘O Lord, if it please Thee to
chastise the wicked for their sins, and to send forth Thy stormy
winds to destroy their ships, we beg that Thou mayest throw them
upon our coasts rather upon any other, that Thy chosen people may
receive benefit therefrom, and with thankful hearts may glorify Thy
holy name.’”
Mr. Trotz.

“‘Tres faciunt collegium’ is the common adage. A professor of law

at Utrecht came to his college one day, and found but one student.
He would not have it said that he was obliged to dismiss for want of
auditors. So he gravely pronounced, ‘Deus unus, ergo duo in tres.
Tres faciunt collegium. Incipemus.’”
An Utrecht Student.

“An English gentleman who was studying at Geneva was

introduced to Mr. Voltaire, and at one of the comedies which were
given at the Delice he had the part of a stupid absurd Englishman
assigned to him. The gentleman was modest and anxious, and was
saying he did not know well how to do. Mr. Voltaire encouraged him:
‘Sir,’ said he, ‘don’t be affraid. Just act in your own natural way, and
you’ll do very well.’”
Mr. Temple.

“The King of Prussia asked an English gentleman why the civil

law did not universally prevail in Great Britain. The gentleman
replied, Because we are not Romans. ‘That is true,’ said the King,
‘but your nation has produced many Romans.’”
M. Giffardier.

“When Lord Hope[133] was presented to the King of Prussia, he

told him that he made in one summer the tour of Denmark, Sweden,
and Norway. ‘Ay,’ said the king, ‘and pray, my lord, why have you not
been in Siberia?’”
 M. Giffardier.

“Mr. Samuel Johnson said of Sheridan, ‘Sherry is dull, naturally

dull, but it must have cost him a great deal of pains to become so
exceedingly stupid; such an excess of stupidity is not in nature.’”
Mr. Dempster, from Foote.[134]

“The Earl of Marchmont and Lord Littleton[135] differed warmly

about the authenticity of Fingal. Macpherson said he should like to
see them fighting a duel in Hyde Park. ‘See them!’ said Dempster:
‘no one man could possibly see them, they would stand at such a
distance from one another.’”
I was present.

“When Derrick was made King of Bath, Mr. Samuel Johnson said,
‘Derry may do very well while he can outrun his character, but the
moment that his character gets up with him he is gone.’”
I was present.

“When Dempster was at Brussels, a young gentleman of Scotland

was very bad. Dempster said that the surgeons poured mercury into
him as if he had been the tube of a weather-glass.”

“Boswell told Mr. Samuel Johnson that Sir James Macdonald[136]

said he had never seen him, but he had a great respect for him,
though at the same time a great terror. ‘Were he to see me,’ said Mr.
Johnson, ‘it would probably lessen both.’”

“Mr. Samuel Johnson told Boswell that Dr. Goldsmith when

abroad used to dispute in the universities, and so get prize money,
which carried him on in his travels. ‘Well,’ said Boswell, ‘that was
indeed disputing his passage through Europe.’”

“Boswell was saying that Derrick was a miserable writer. ‘True,’

said Mr. Samuel Johnson,[137] ‘but it is to his being a writer that he
owes anything he has. Sir, had not Derrick been a writer, he would
have been sweeping the crosses in the streets, and asking halfpence
from everybody that passed.’”

“A good-natured, stupid man, at Bath, wanted to appear a man

of some consequence by talking often with Mr. Quin,[138] although
he had nothing earthly to say more than ‘Your servant, Mr. Quin! I
hope you are well.’ Quin bore with him for some time, but at last he
lost patience, and one day when the gentleman came up to him with
a ‘Mr. Quin, I hope you are well!’ Quin replied, ‘Yes, sir, I am very
well, and intend to be so for six months to come; so, sir, till that time
I desire you may not again ask me that question.’”
Mr. Rose, at Utrecht.

“Mr. Samuel Johnson and Boswell slept in one room at

Chichester. A moth flew round the candle for some time, and burnt
itself to death. ‘That creature,’ said Mr. Johnson, ‘was its own
tormentor, and I believe its name was Boswell.’”[139]

“Mr. Fordyce[140] said that a man of public character who falls

into disgrace in England receives immediate punishment from the
mob; and is a greater man than Orpheus, who only made live
animals follow him, whereas the rogue makes dead cats come after
him.”
I was present.
 “Baldie Robertson, a Scotch advocate, asked Boswell to
accompany him to cheapen a couple of rooms of Lucky Rannie’s. She
told him, ‘Sir, you shall just have them for a guinea a week, you
furnishing coal and candle.’ Baldie, with much emotion, cried out,
‘But I tell you, woman, I have no coal and candle.’”

“Boswell said of Miss Stewart, of Blackhall,[141] ‘that more

brilliant beauties came armed with darts and attacked men as foes,
but Miss Stewart carried no weapons of destruction, and treated
with them as with allies.’”

“Lord Eglintoune said to Boswell, whose lively imagination formed

many schemes, but whose indolence hindered him from executing
them, ‘Jamie, you have a light head, but a heavy a——.’”

“Lord Eglintoune said to Boswell, who was maintaining that by

habit he would acquire the power of application to business,
‘Application must be an original vigour of mind. The arm of any
blacksmith may become so strong by habit that he may gain his
bread; but if he has not natural strength he will never make
excellent work.’”

“The Spaniards are a noble people; at least, their gentlemen

have great souls. At a famous battle there was a brave Spanish
officer who had been wounded in many actions, and had but one
eye left. A bullet came and struck it out as he was charging at the
head of his troops, and wounded him mortally. With calm and
solemn dignity he called to his men, ‘Bonas noctias, cavilieros’
(‘Good night, my fellow-soldiers’).”
Mr. Rose.
 “A German baron, newly arrived at Paris in a suit trimmed with
almaches—that is, small lace disposed so as to look like horns—went
to the theatre just in his travelling dress, and getting behind the
scenes showed himself upon the stage. The Parterre began to make
a noise like the firing of cannon. One of the players begged to know
what was the matter, when a gentleman replied, pointing to the
baron, ‘Animal, ne voys tu pas que nous attaqons cette ouvrage a
corne?’ ‘You fool, don’t you see that we are attacking that
hornwork?’”
M. Giffardier.

“Monsieur Chapelle satirized with much keenness the petits

maîtres of his time. One of them who chanced to be in company
with him exclaimed against these satires, and said he wished he
knew the author—he would beat him heartily. He plagued the
company with his threatenings, especially Chapelle, whom he sat
next to and shouldered. At last Chapelle gave a spring, and turning
up his back to him, cried, ‘Frap et va t’en!’ (‘Strike, and get thee
gone!’)”
M. Giffardier.

“When M. Voltaire was in England he had a great desire to see

Dr. Clarke,[142] but the Doctor, who had heard his character, would
not be acquainted with him; at last he fell in with a friend of Dr.
Clarke’s, who asked him to be of a party where the Doctor was.
Voltaire went and seated himself next to the Doctor, in full
expectation of hearing him talk, but he remained very silent.
Voltaire, in order to force him to speak, threw out all the wild
profane rhodomontades that his imagination could suggest against
religion. At last Dr. Clarke turned about, and looking him steadily in
the face with the keen eagle eyes for which he was remarkable, ‘Sir,’
said he, ‘do you acknowledge that two and two make four?’ Voltaire
was so confounded by this that he said not another word.”
Mr. Brown.[143]
 “A dull German baron had got amongst the English at Geneva,
and, being highly pleased with their spirit, wanted to imitate them.
One day an Englishman came in to the baron’s room, and found him
jumping with all his might upon the chairs and down again, so that
he was all in a sweat. ‘Mon Dieu! Monsieur le baron,’ dit-il, ‘que
faites-vous?’ (‘Good God! baron,’ said he, ‘what are you about?’)
‘Monsieur,’ replied the baron, wiping down his temples with a
handkerchief, ‘j’apprens d’être vif’ (‘I am learning to be lively’).”
Mademoiselle de Zoilen.

“Mr. Thomas Hunter,[144] minister at New Cumnock, was visiting

his parish on a very cold day. At a substantial farmer’s they set him
down an excellent smoaking haggis. ‘Come,’ said he, ‘here is the
grace:—O Lord, we thank Thee for this warm Providence.’”
Lord Auchinleck.

“When Mr. Sheridan lived at Windsor he used often to meet a

very awkward fellow who did not know how to hold his arms. Mr.
Sheridan said the fellow always made him imagine that he was
carrying home a pair of arms that somebody had bespoke.”
From himself.

“When Mr. David Hume began first to be known in the world as a

philosopher, Mr. Thomas White, a decent rich merchant of London,
said to him, ‘I am surprised, Mr. Hume, that a man of your good
sense should think of being a philosopher. Why, I now took it into
my head to be a philosopher for some time, but tired of it most
confoundedly, and very soon gave it up.’ ‘Pray, sir,’ said Mr. Hume, ‘in
what branch of philosophy did you employ your researches? What
books did you read?’ ‘Books?’ said Mr. White; ‘nay, sir, I read no
books, but I used to sit you whole forenoons a-yawning and poking
the fire.’”
Sir David Dalrymple.[145]
 “Pierot, the biting French satirist, had often applied to be
admitted member of the Academie Royale, and still was rejected.
One day, after hearing their disquisitions, a freind (sic) asked him,
‘N’ont-ils pas beaucoup d’esprit?’ ‘Esprit?’ replied Pierot, ‘sans doute
ils out beaucoup d’esprit. Ils out esprit comme quatre.’ The society is
forty-eight in number.”

“Mr. Tronchin,[146] physician at Geneva, an intimate friend of Mr.

Voltaire, told Mr. Brown, the English minister at Utrecht, that one
time when Voltaire was very bad, he was under the greatest terror
for death, and he used this strong expression to Mr. Tronchin,—‘Sir, if
I were put upon the rack at three o’clock in the afternoon, and had
both my legs and both my arms broke, if I had my choice either to
die immediately or to live till seven at night, I would choose to live
till seven.’ A fortnight after, when he was quite recovered, he was
talking against religion with as much wildness and extravagance as
ever, and seemed highly delighted with shaking the faith of all the
company. Mr. Tronchin, who was present, got up with indignation,
went round to Voltaire, and catching him by the breast, said, ‘You
pitiful wretch! are you, for a little gratification of vanity,
endeavouring to destroy the only pillars which can support mankind
at that awful hour which made you so lately tremble like a coward?’
In contradiction to this story, see in my Journal the account which
Tronchin gave me of Voltaire.”[147]
Mr. Brown.

“During a hot action between the French and the allied armies, in
which the former were defeated, a French grenadier was taken
prisoner by an officer of the Iniskilling [Enniskillin] dragoons. He
immediately demanded of the prisoner, ‘Where is Marshal Broglio?’
The brave grenadier replied, with the high spirit of a French soldier,
‘Il est partout.’ He is everywhere.”
M. Giffardier, from the Officer.
 “As a strong picture of the difference between French and
German manners, the following story will serve: An English officer in
Germany during the war kept a girl. She had a great deal of spirit,
and for a frolic she would pay a visit to the enemy’s outpost. She
first came to a French centinel, who seeing a pretty—nay, elegant
lady coming towards him, immediately grounded his arms, pulled off
his hat, and with all the politeness in the world saluted her with ‘Ah,
madame, je suis charmé,’ &c. She put out her hand, which he kissed
with great gallantry. She then went to a German centinel in the
French service. When he observed her approaching, he looked stern
and shoved her back with his hand; and when she attempted still to
advance, he held out his fusil. She ran briskly off, crying, ‘You brute,
we have taken Cassel!’”

“After a defeat of the French in Germany by the Prussians, a

French soldier got his back against a tree, and was defending
himself against four or five Prussians. The King of Prussia came up
himself, and called out to the soldier, ‘Mon ami, croyez-vous que
vous êtes invincible?’ He replied, ‘Oui, sire, si j’etois commandé par
vous.’”
Mr. Giffardier.

“After another defeat of the French by the Prussians, a French

soldier said to his companion while they were running off, ‘Vraiment
cet Roi de Prusse est un brave homme. Je crois qu’il a servi en
France.’”
Mr. Giffardier.

“After the defeat of the French at Rosbach, there happened a

ludicrous enough incident. A little French officer was taken prisoner
by a tall, fierce, black hussar. After making him deliver up his sword,
his watch, and his money, the hussar made him get up behind him
and hold fast, and away he galloped; and all the time, with the
greatest sang froid, he was eating apples out of his pocket, and now
and then, with a humph, threw one over his shoulder to the officer,
who, for fear of his displeasure, eat them every one most faithfully.”
Mr. Giffardier, from the officer himself.

“When Boswell was a young, giddy, frolicsome dog in London, a

parcel of sarcastical Scots, dining at Almack’s,[148] were enlarging
much on his imprudence. ‘I do not know,’ said Dempster, ‘how
Boswell may do in this world, but I am sure he would do very well in
a better.’”
From Miss Dempster.[149]

“Boswell complained that he had too good a memory in trifles,

which prevented his remembering things of consequence. ‘My head,’
said he, ‘is like a tavern, in which a club of low punch-drinkers have
taken up the room that might have been filled with lords who drink
Burgundy, but it is not in the landlord’s power to dispossess them.’”

“A gentleman was complaining that upon a long voyage their

provisions were very bad, and, in particular, that their beef turned
quite green. ‘Very right, sir,’ said Caleb Whitefoord,[150] ‘you know all
flesh is grass, and therefore ought to be green.’”
I was present.

“Boswell says that a man who sets out on the journey of life with
opinions that he has never examined is like a man who goes a-
fowling with a gun that has never been proved.”

“Boswell, who had a good deal of whim, used not only to form
wild projects in his imagination, but would sometimes reduce them
to practice. In his calm hours he said with great good humour,
‘There have been many people who built castles in the air, but I
believe I am the first that ever attempted to live in them.’”
 “A gentleman said of a clumsy wench that she was as hot as fire.
‘Yes,’ said Boswell, ‘but in a very different way. The fire feels nothing,
but communicates the heat to other bodies; but this wench leaves
all cold around her while she herself is burning.’”

“A young lady was wishing much to be her own mistress. ‘You

are mine, miss,’ said her lover, ‘and that is much better.’”

“Mademoiselle de Zuyl told Boswell one day, ‘Monsieur, cette

après-midi j’ai voulee convaincre ma chere mere de quelque chose,
mais elle ne vouloit pas m’entendre, et pour m’echaper elle a courue
de chambre en chambre. J’ai la suivi pourtant et j’ai raisonnée.’ ‘Eh
bien, Mademoiselle,’ replied Boswell, ‘c’etoit un raisonnement suivi.’”

“A gentleman told Boswell that one of his studious freinds used

to have a bottle of wine set upon his desk in the evening, and that
generally he caught himself at the end of it. ‘Ay,’ said Boswell, ‘I
suppose, sir, he took care not to catch himself before he got to the
end of it.’”

“A forward fellow asked Boswell one day the character of a

certain general officer. ‘Sir,’ said Boswell, ‘the gentleman is a general,
and I do not choose to enter into particulars.’”

“When Boswell had the rage of getting into the Guards, he talked
of it to John Home,[151] whose poetry breathed a martial spirit, and
therefore might approve his desire to be a soldier. ‘Sir,’ said John
Home, ‘the Guards are no soldiers; they are just beefeaters, only
they don’t eat beef.’”
 “Boswell was at Leyden in the year 1764. The Hon. Charles
Gordon[152] said to him with affected diffidence, in order to receive
a compliment, ‘Mr. Boswell, I would willingly come and see you for a
day at Utrecht, but I am afraid I should tire you.’ ‘Sir,’ replied
Boswell, ‘I defy you to tire me for one day.’”

“When Boswell was passing through Leyden, in the year 1764, he

put up at the ‘Golden Ball,’ and was shown into the great parlour,
which, as in all the inns in Holland, is a public room. As he was
eating a sober bit of supper there entered three roaring West
Indians, followed by a large dog. They made a deal of rude noise.
The waiter thought it incumbent upon him to make an apology for
their roughness. ‘Sir,’ said he, ‘they are very good-natured
gentlemen.’ ‘Yes, yes,’ said Boswell, ‘I see they are very good-
natured gentlemen, and in my opinion, sir, the dog seems to be as
good-natured as any of the three.’”

“When Mr. de Neitschutz, Grand Ecuyer du Prince d’Anhalt-

Dessau was sent to the King of Prussia to treat with him, and to beg
that he would not demand such great subsidies, the King used to
say, ‘Mon ami, il faut soutenir des armees. Je ne suis pas en etat de
la faire. Vous savez que je n’ai rien. Il faut que je vole.’”
M. de Neitschutz.

“When Voltaire was at Berlin he used to be rude to the King of

Prussia. The King came into his room one day when he had before
him on a table a great parcel of his Majesty’s verses, which he no
doubt put in order very freely. The King called to him, ‘Que faites-
vous, Voltaire?’ He replied, ‘Sire, j’arrange votre linge sale.’”
M. Lestsch au’devant Gouverneur du P. D’Anhalt.

“After the battle of Colline, where the King of Prussia was sadly
defeated, his Majesty stood in a musefull melancholy, and looked
through his glass at a battery of cannon which was still playing and
was within reach of him. His troops had all retired, only the Scots
General Grant stood behind him at a little distance; a cannon bullet
took away the skirt of his coat, and at last when he found that the
King made no preparation to retire, he came up to him and said,
‘Est-ceque votre majeste veut prendre la batterie tout seul?’ The
King looked at him with approbation, and said, ‘Allons, mon ami,’ and
retreated. ‘Eh bien, Grant,’ said he, ‘c’est une triste affaire.’”
Mr. Secretary Burnet.[153]

“During one of his campaigns the King of Prussia composed a

sermon entitled ‘Sermon sur le jour de jugement preché devant
l’Abbé de Prade, par son aumonier ordinaire l’Incredulité.’ L’Abbé de
Prade was his reader. The sermon was a grave discourse, full of
Scripture phrases. It might have been preached in any church in
Europe.”
Mr. Secretary Burnet.

“Mr. Burnet was one day riding along with the Prussian army
through a wood. He heard behind him a voice crying, ‘March furt in
der Deivells naam,’ but did not think that the King had been near
him. He turned about, however, and there was his Majesty’s horse’s
mouth touching Burnet’s horse’s tail. The King had lost a battle. The
weather was bad. He was muffled up in his great-coat, was in very
bad humour, and looked confoundedly sulky. Burnet was anxious to
make way for him, and immediately put spurs to his horse and
sprung away. The wood was so thick that the branches caught hold
of him and drove off his hat and wig. He had shaved his head that
morning, so that there he was, he sticking with his white skull
exposed to the elements. The King, notwithstanding his ill-humour,
could not help being diverted, and burst out into an immense fit of
laughter. He then said to Burnet, ‘Monsieur, je vous demande
pardon, mais je m’en vais le reparer.’ He then called to a soldier,
‘Geve die Heer syn Hoed en zyn peruik.’”
 Mr. Secretary Burnet.

“The King of Prussia sometimes used to amuse himself in the

most extraordinary manner. After having played on his flute till he
was tired, he would say to the Abbé de Prade, ‘Allons, si j’etois
membre du Parlement d’ Angleterre voici comment je parlerais;’ then
he would harangue on the balance of power, &c., like a very Pitt.”
Mr. Secretary Burnet.

“The British Envoy’s mail was once seized going from Berlin. It
was said to have been done by the Ambassador of France. Mr.
Mitchell said,[154] ‘Je n’en crois rien.’ ‘Peut être,’ said one, ‘il a reçu
des ordres pour le faire et qu’est ce que cela feroit,’ said Mitchell.
‘Monsieur,’ said the gentleman, ‘si vous aviéz reçu des ordres du Roi
votre maître de saisir une Malle ne voudriez vous pas le faire?’
‘Monsieur,’ replied Mr. Mitchell, ‘Premierrement le Roi mon maître ne
me donnera jamais des telles ordres. En second lieu, assurement je
ne les obeierois pas, “non,” je lui ecrirois, Si vous, Sire, voulez faire
des choses comme cela, il faut envoyer un voleur, et non pas tacher
de faire un voleur de votre Envoye.’”
Mr. Mitchell himself.

“Boswell was presented to the Duke of Argyle,[155] at Whitton, in

the year 1760. The duke talked some time with him, and was
pleased, and seemed surprised that Boswell wanted to have a
commission in the guards. His Grace took Boswell’s father aside, and
said, ‘My lord, I like your son. That boy must not be shot at for three
and sixpence a day.’”

“Lord Auchinleck and his son were very different men. My lord
was sollid (sic) and composed; Boswell was light and restless. My
lord rode very slow; Boswell was one day impatient to get on, and
begged my lord to ride a little faster; ‘for,’ said he, ‘it is not the
exercise which fatigues, but the hinging upon a beast.’ His father
replied, ‘What’s the matter, man, how a chield hings, if he dinna hing
upon a gallows?’”

“When Captain Augustus Hervey was lying in the port of

Leghorn, some of the first people of the country paid him a visit
aboard his ship. He ordered his men to draw up a bucket of water,
and presented it to the nobles, bidding them drink that. ‘Why,’ said
they, ‘’tis salt water.’ ‘Is it?’ said he. ‘Then know that wherever this
water is found the King of Great Britain is master.’”
Captain Wake.

“Mr. Burnet went once into a Presbyterian kirk. The minister

lectured on these words,—‘You shall take no scrip for your journey.’
‘A scrip,’ said he, ‘my beloved brethren, was a clockbag, a
portmanteau, or a wallise.’”
Himself.

“A gentleman was saying at Voltaire’s table, ‘J’ai lu un telle

chose.’ ‘Monsieur,’ said Voltaire, ‘il ne faut pas croire tout ce qu’on a
lu.’ ‘Monsieur,’ replied he, ‘j’ai pourtant lu tous vos ouvrages.’”
The Gentleman.

“Boswell said that to be a good rural poet a man must have an

appetite for the beauties of nature as another has for his dinner. A
man who has a poor stomach will never talk with force of a good
dinner; nor will he whose taste is feeble talk with force of a fine
prospect. This kind of taste must be felt, and cannot even be
imagined by others.”
 “Boswell said that a dull fool was nothing, as he never showed
himself. The great thing, said he, is to have your fool well furnished
with animal spirits and conceit, and he’ll display to you a rich fund of
risibility. He said this at a certain court in Germany.”

“A formal fellow at Paris paid a great many long-winded

compliments to Mademoiselle Ameté, the Turk. When he had
finished, she said to the gentleman next her, ‘Je ne puis pas soutenir
cet homme la; il me parle comme un Dedicace.’”
My Lord Marischal.[156]

“Boswell said that young people are often tempted to resign

themselves to a warm fancy or a strong benevolent passion, because
they have read that those who are thus agitated are nobler beings,
and enjoy a felicity superior to that of sedate rational men. But let
them consider that all these fine things have been said by the hot-
brained people themselves, and that one who is drunk may and does
boast as much his intoxicated situation. The impartial method of
judging what state of mind is happiest is to hear the voice of the
majority of sensible men, most of whom, either when young or
when drunk, have felt the enticing delirium. If none approve it but
such as immediately feel it, we may pronounce it a false joy. For
other states, of mind, as the cool circumspection of wisdom, the
moderate tenderness of affection, the solemn ardour of devotion,
the noble firmness of manly honour,—these others approve of;
others wish to possess.”

“Boswell asked, ‘Why have we not a neat phrase to express our

being eager to see, equivalent to “I pricked up my ears” when eager
to hear?’”
 “When Sir Adam Fergusson[157] was at Dusseldorf he admired
much an organ in one of the churches, and wished greatly to hear
an English tune upon it. Barnard, (nephew to the great Sir John,
and) a merchant at Dunkirk, was there. He begged of the organist to
give him liberty to play the vespers, which he agreed to. Barnard
played the solemn music very gravely, but by way of a voluntary he
gave ‘Ally Croaker.’ He, however, adorned it with several variations,
so that the organist said, ‘Monsieur, en que c’est un beau morceau.’”
Mr. Barnard.

At the court of Saxe-Gotha there were two ladies of honour,

Mesdemoiselles de Rickslepen, sisters, very pretty, but very little.
Boswell said to a baron of the court, “Monsieur, il faut les prendre
comme des alouettes, par la demi-douzaine.”

“When Poniatowsky[158] was made king of Poland, anno 1764,

many of the first nobles opposed his election, as they imagined that
he would follow the system of the King of Prussia, and introduce
arbitrary power. Le Comte de Sapia, grand Ecuyer de la Lithuanie,
quitted his country in discontent. He passed some time at the court
of Gotha. One of the courtiers there said to him, ‘Monsieur, vous qui
aimez tant la liberté vous devez aller en Angleterre.’ ‘Dieu m’en
garde!’ cried he; ‘non; il faut aller en France, pour apprendre nos
nouveaux devoirs.’”
La Grande Maitresse de Gotha.

“Boswell showed some of his verses to a German professor, who

understood English. The professor was highly pleased with them.
When he laid them down Boswell said, ‘I wrote some of them last
night.’ ‘Ah,’ said the professor, ‘I did not know they had been yours,
sir, or I should have praised them more.’”
 “A prince talked of a subject of learning—a piece of history, and
said, ‘Je ne sais en verité.’ Another prince said, ‘On trouvera cela
peut être dans un dictionnaire.’ ‘H’m, oui,’ said anotherthird prince, ‘ui,
on le trouvera dans un dictionnaire.’”
I was present.

“Boswell said the English language was like the ancient

Corinthian brass. When Corinth was burnt, the fortuitous mixture of
gold, silver, and copper produced a metal more excellent than any
original one. So, by the different invasions of England was produced
a mixture of old British, German, and French, which makes a
language superior to any original tongue. The proportions in the one
case are as curious as in the other.”

“Boswell compared himself to the ancient Corinthian brass. ‘I am,’

said he, ‘a composition of an infinite variety of ingredients. I have
been formed by a vast number of scenes of the most different
natures, and I question if any uniform education could have
produced a character so agreable’” (sic).

“The Dutch bourgeois generally wear coats and wigs of

prodigious size, by no means made to fit them; but by way of so
much cloth and so much hair Boswell said, ‘Les Hollandois portent
des habits et des peruques comme des Hardes.’”

“Krimberg, grand maître de madame la Marcgrave de Baden

Baden, said of the Marcgrave of Baden Dourlach, ‘Les autres princes
s’amusent des amusements, mais ce prince s’amusa des affaires.“‘
I was present.

“Boswell said that a great company was just a group of têtes-à-

têtes.”
 “The father of young M. Gaio, at Strasburg, had an immense cask
of prodigious fine old Rhenish. His maître d’hotel came and told him
that, unfortunately, it had burst the cask and was totally lost. M.
Gaio (having eat his evening soup), replied, ‘Eh bien, mon vin est
lu.’”
M. Gaio le Fils.

“The uncle of young M. Gaio at Strasbourg had a set of Dresden

tea china which he valued very much. As one of his servants was
bringing it hastily in one day he fell and broke the whole set. His
master stepped calmly forward, helped him up, and called to another
servant, ‘Ecoutez, donnez une verre du vin de Bourgogne a François,
je crois qu’il a en peur.’”
M. Gaio le Fils.

“Lord Eglintoune said to his brother,[159] Colonel Montgomerie,

who was to be his heir, ‘If I live, Archie, I’ll take care of you.’ ‘Yes,
my lord,’ replied the colonel, ‘and if you die I’ll take care of myself.’”
Lord Auchinleck.

“Mr. Needham[160] went with another gentleman to call upon M.

Diderot. A comely well-dressed lady opened the door to them. The
gentleman said, ‘Madame est sans doute la femme de M. Diderot.’
She, with an air of smiling satisfaction, replied, ‘Monsieur, les
philosophes ne ses marient point.’”
Mr. Needham.

“Mr. Needham said that Rousseau’s not complying with the

common established ceremonies of society was like a Quaker saying
Thee and Thou, and not pulling off his hat.”
I was present.
 “The Syndics or Magistrates of Geneva wear prodigious periwigs.
M. de Voltaire said to them, ‘Messieurs, vous repandez votre poudre
dans toutes les territoires voisines.’”
Grand Baillif d’Yuerdun.

“Erskine[161] and Boswell were one day sauntering in Leicester

Fields and talking of the famous scheme of squaring the circle.
‘Come, come,’ said Boswell, ‘let us circle the square, and that will be
as good;’ so these two poets took a walk round the square, laughing
very heartily at the conceit.”

“Mr. Richardson, chaplain to Sir Joseph Yorke,[162] and another

clergyman were walking near a village by Cambridge, where were a
number of Methodists. They saw a child of four year old lying
accross (sic) the road, and immediately ran up to lift it up, when
they heard a number of people cry, ‘Let it alone, let it alone, it’s
convicted, it’s convicted.’ They asked, ‘Pray, how? so young a child
has not been at church.’ ‘No, but its father and mother have, and the
Lord has been dealing with their child.’”
From himself.

“Boswell said that Mademoiselle de Maasdain, at the Hague, was

as black as a chimney. ‘Then,’ said the Rev. Dr. Maclaine, ‘her
husband would be a chimney-sweeper.’”

“Boswell said that Mademoiselle de Zuyl was too vivacious, and

crowded her bon mots in conversation, so that one had not time to
examine them one by one, and see their beauties. He said, she used
to make people run through the Vatican, where you glance over a
number of fine pictures, but have not time to look at and relish any.”
 “Fordyce was much scandalized at a French barber who shaved
him in Paris, and having caught a fly, called it cette machine la.
‘Why,’ said Boswell, ‘in England we call a machine a fly, why may not
the French call a fly a machine?’”

“Andrew Stuart,[163] Nairne,[164] Colonel Scott, and Boswell went

in a coach from the Hague to Rotterdam. The Dutch coachman was
so heavy a blockhead that Andrew Stuart took the reins from him
and drove. A mole, somehow or other, was seen upon the road.
‘Well,’ said Boswell, ‘when Mr. Andrew Stuart drove a Dutch coach,
he drove so hard that the very moles came above ground to look at
him.’”

“In the year 1715 Lord Marischal observed a Highlander crying,

and looking at the poor fellow he observed he had no shoes. He sent
one to him, who spoke Erse, and bid him not be cast down, for he
should have shoes. ‘Sir,’ said the Highlander, ‘I want no shoes; I am
crying to see a Macdonald retire from his enemy.’”
From Lord Marischal.

“In the year 1715, when my Lord Marischal was preparing to

leave London and join the Stuart army, Fletcher of Salton[165] came
to him at seven in the morning, asked a dish of tea to get his
servant out of the way, and then said, ‘My lord, you are now going
to join with people who will not be honest, nor so steady as yourself.
I advise you, don’t go.’ My lord answered, ‘Sir, I shall not dispute
whether King James or King George has the best right to the crown.
I know you are for no king. But, as things are, I think we may get
rid of the union which oppresses us.’ ‘My lord,’ replied Fletcher, ‘it is a
good thing to be young: when I was your age I thought as you do,
and would have acted as you do; but I am now growing old, I have
been sorely brought down by sickness, and I find my mind is failing
with my body.”
 Lord Marischal.

“Boswell went from Berlin to Charlottenburg while the

entertainments were there on account of the betrothing of the
Princess Elizabeth of Brunswick to the Prince of Prussia; all the ladies
and gentlemen pressed eagerly to get places at the windows of the
palace, in order to see the royal families at supper. Boswell found
this a little ridiculous, so came up to his acquaintances and said,
‘Allons, allons, je vous en prie voyons la seconde table; je vous
assure il vaut mieux la peine; ces gens mangent plus que les
autres?’ (‘Come, come, pray do let us go see the second table; I
assure you it is more worth while; they eat more than the others.’)”

“Boswell said that Sir Joseph Yorke was so anxious lest people
should forget that he was an ambassador, that he held his head as
high and spoke as little as possible. As in the infancy of painting it
was found necessary to write below a picture, this is a cow, or this is
a horse, so from the mouth of Sir Joe cometh a label with these
words—‘I am an ambassador.’”

“Boswell said that the descriptions of human life which we find in

books are very false, because written in retirement. When a painter
would take a portrait or a landscape, he is always sure to be
present, whereas a painter of human life gets away from the object,
buries himself in the shade, or basks in the sunshine, and
consequently gives either too black or too gay a creature of his
imagination, which he calls human life.”

“Two Scotch Highlanders were benighted, and lay down to sleep

on the side of a mountain. After they had lain a little, one of them
got up, but soon returned again. The other asked him, ‘What’s this,
Donald? what have you been about?’ Duncan replied, ‘I was only
bringing a stane to put under my head.’ Donald started up and cried,
‘H—g your effeminacy, man! canna ye sleep without a stane aneath
your head?’”
Mr. Burnet.

“After the Prince of Prussia had been defeated by the Austrians,

the King, who was marching desperate against them, wrote to him
thus:—‘Mon frère, Daun vous a traité comme un petit Ecolier. Il vous
a foueté avec des verges. Un homme qui va mourir, n’a rien
d’dissimuler.’”
Mr. Burnet.

“Lord Auchinleck was one of the most firm and indefatigable

judges that ever lived. Brown at Utrecht said that he was one of
those great beams which are placed here and there to support the
edifice of Society.”
I was present.

“Boswell said that Berkley[166] reasoned himself out of house and

home.”

“An unhappy hypochondriack complained that in his gloomy

hours he believed himself a fool. A hard-hearted wag was cruel
enough to say to him, ‘Crede quod habes et habes.’”

“Captain Bertie was in one of three English ships who advanced

against seven French. The sailors were so overjoyed at this noble
opportunity that they huzzaed and threw their hats overboard, and
those who had no hats, their wigs. They fought and beat the French
heartily.”
Captain Bertie.[167]
 “If those who have no taste for the fine arts would fairly own it,
perhaps it would be better. Mr. Damer and Captain Howe, two true-
born Englishmen, were in the great gallery at Florence; they
submitted quietly to be shown a few of the pictures, but seeing the
gallery so immensely long their impatience burst forth and they
tried, for a bet, who should hop first to the end of it.”
The Hon. Mr. Howe.[168]

“When Boswell came first into Italy, and saw the extreme
profligacy of the ladies, he said, ‘Italy has been called the garden of
Europe, I think it is the Covent Garden.’”

“Churchill,[169] in his abusive poem against Scotland called the

‘Prophecy of Famine,’ had the following line:—
‘Far as the eye could reach no tree was seen.’

Mr. Jamieson, a true Scot, said, ‘Faith, I wish I had as many

Churchills to hang upon them as there’s trees.’”

“Boswell had a travelling box in which he carried his hats and his
papers. He was saying one day, ‘What connection now have they
together?’ Replied Mr. Lumisden,[170] ‘They have both a connection
with your head.’”

“An honest Scots sailor who had been wounded in the service
took up a public-house at Dundee, and on his sign had his story
painted. First he was drawn with both his legs firing away, with this
inscription,—‘Thus I was;’ then with one leg, and inscribed, ‘Thus I
am, the Fortune of war.’”
James Ramsay.[171]
Mr. Willison.[172]
 “A young fellow by chance let a china plate fall. His father asked
him, ‘Pray, sir, what way did you do that?’ He very gravely took up
another, and let it fall in the same manner: ‘That way, sir.’”
Colonel Edmonstoune.[173]

“A very big man said he intended often to have spoke in the

House of Commons. ‘I wish you had, sir,’ said Matthew Henderson;
‘for if you had not been heard, you would at least have been seen.’”
Capt. Keith Stuart.

P. 1. “April.—My father said to me, ‘I am much pleased with your

conduct in every respect.’ After all my anxiety while abroad, here is
the most perfect approbation and calm of mind. I never felt such
sollid (sic) happiness. But I feel I am not so happy with this
approbation and this calm as I expected to be. Alas! such is the
condition of humanity, that we are not allowed here the perfect
enjoyment of the satisfaction which arises even from worth. But why
do I say alas! when I really look upon this life merely as a transient
state?

P. 2. “I must stay at Auchinleck. I have there just the kind of

complaining proper for me. All must complain, and I more than most
of my fellow-creatures.

P. 3. “A man is but in proportion to the impressions which his

power makes. I see there is variety of powers.”

“Saturday, April 19th.—This morning my worthy father wak’d me

early and told me of the sudden death of my Lord Justice Clerk (Lord
Minto),[174] and repeated with a calm solemnity,—
‘Trahimur sævo rapiente fato.’”
 “A modern man of taste found fault with the avenues at
Auchinleck, and said he wished to see straggling trees. ‘I wish,’ said
Boswell, ‘I could see straggling fools in this world.’”

“Boswell said that business itself helps a man on just as the

chaise going down a hill helps on the horse which is in the shafts.
‘When,’ said he, ‘I think of the fatigues of the law I tremble. But
when I have once get on the harnessing of a Process, away I go
without difficulty. This is just; let a man never despond as to
anything, let him be yok’d, and no fear.’”

“When Boswell observed that the Lords of Session were often

inattentive, he said he wished he had liberty to speak to the bench
as one speaks to a company, where if any one whom one wishes to
attend appears to be absent, one can rouse him by directing the
discourse particularly to him. ‘So,’ said Boswell, ‘I would say, “My
Lord Sagely, your lordship must surely agree,” &c.; “But besides, my
Lord Doubtfull, it appears,” &c.’”

“Boswell had a great aversion to the law, but forced himself to

enter upon that laborious profession in compliance with the anxious
desire of his father, for whom he had the greatest regard. After
putting on the gown, he said with great good humour to his brother
advocates, ‘Gentlemen, I am prest into the service here; but I have
observed that a prest man, either by sea or land, after a little time
does just as well as a volunteer.’”

“Lord Auchinleck said the great point for a judge is to conduct a

cause with safety and expedition, like a skillfull pilot. ‘The Agents
always endeavour to keep a cause afloat. But I keep my eye upon
the haven, and the moment I have got him fairly in order I give one
hearty push, and there he’s landed.’”
 “Boswell said when we see a man of eminence we desire nothing
more than to be of his acquaintance; we then wish to have him as a
companion; and when we have attained that we are impatient till we
gain a superiority over him. Such is the restless progress of man!”

“A sailor, who had been long out at sea, was on his return asked
by a companion what sort of voyage they had. ‘Why,’ said he, ‘a very
good one; only we had prayers twice. But one of the times there
was no more occasion for them than if you and I should fall down
and pray this minute.’”
Lord Loudoun.[175]

“My Lord Stair,[176] who wrote a very bad hand, sent once to my
Lord Loudoun a written commission to be read to Sir Philip
Honeywood.[177] Lord Loudoun received the letter at the British
Coffee-house, where he was sitting after dinner with some friends
taking a very hearty bottle; and whether the wine made him see
double or no, so it was that he read the commission very distinctly.
Next morning he went to wait on Sir Philip Honeywood, and being
then quite cool and in his sober senses he could not read a word of
it, and neither could Sir Philip. Lord Loudoun could not go back to
Lord Stair and tell him his hand was not legible, so Sir Philip trusted
to Lord Loudoun’s memory of what he had read the day before, and
could not then read at all, a most curious fact. When the Duke of
Cumberland was told of it he said, ‘Loudoun, why did you not stay
and dine with Sir Philip, and then you would both have read it.’”
Lord Loudoun.

“Mr. Clark, uncle to Baron Clark, a most curious mortal, who had
been bred a surgeon, had travelled over the greatest part of the
world, and always walked. He had the misfortune to break one of his
legs, and two pieces of the bone came out of it. He had them drest,
and made hafts to a knife and fork of them. When he was dying he
sent for Doctor Clark[178] and the Baron.[179] ‘Now, gentlemen,’ said
he, ‘this knife and fork will be the most valuable part of my
executory, and I’ll leave them to any of you two who shall give me
the best inscription to put upon them. The Doctor, who was a fine
classical scholar, tried a good many times, but at length the baron
fairly got the better of him by a most elegant and well-adapted
inscription,—
‘Quæ terra nostri non plena laboris?’”
Lord Auchinleck.

“Campbell of Suckoth[180] and his son were both men of great

wit. The father had been constantly attached to the Duke of Argyle,
but had never got the least assistance from him, upon which the son
went and paid court to the Duke of Hamilton. His dutchess (sic) was
then of the Spencer family.[181] So young Suckoth planted a mount,
which he called Mount Spencer. The dutchess made him a present of
some fine foreign trees in flower-pots, so he got a cart and a couple
of horses from his father to bring them home with, but most of them
broke by the way. The old man was not pleased that his son had
deserted his chief, so he says to him, ‘Dear John, why will you pay
court to the House of Hamilton, for I see naething ye get frae them
but a wheen broken pigs?’ ‘Sir,’ says he, ‘broken pigs are as good as
broken promises.’ ‘Very true,’ John, ‘but they’re no sae dear o’ the
carriage.’”
Lord Auchinleck.

“Sir William Gordon[182] wanted a servant who could write well.

‘My father,’ said he, ‘knew of a very clever fellow, but the most
drunken, good-for-nothing dog that ever lived.’ ‘Oh,’ said Sir William,
‘no matter for that, let him be sent for.’ So when he came Sir William
asked him a great many questions, to which Brodie answered most
distinctly. At last he asked, him, ‘Can you write Latin, sir?’ ‘Can your
honour read it?’ said he. Sir William was quite fond of him, and had
him drest out to all advantage. One day, at his own table, he was
telling a story. ‘Not so, sir,’ said Brodie, who was standing at his
back. ‘You dog,’ said he, ‘how do you know?’ ‘Because I have heard
your honour tell it before.’ He lived with Sir William more than seven
years.”
Lord Auchinleck.

“Sir William Gordon was always a singular character. When he

came to be eighteen it was necessary for him to choose a curator,
and he chose his own livery servant, ‘for’ said he, ‘one is plagued
seeking for a curator to sign papers with you, and sometimes they
refuse to sign.”
Lord Auchinleck.

“Mr. Charles Cochrane[183] said one day to my Lord Justice Clerk

(Charles Erskine[184]), ‘Pray, my lord, what is the reason that there
never was a gentleman a ruling elder, who was not either a knave or
a very weak man?’ ‘Ay, Charles’ said he, ‘why, I’m a ruling elder
myself, and what do you take me to be?’ ‘A very weak man, my
lord.’”
Lord Auchinleck.

“Sir Walter Pringle,[185] afterwards Lord Newhall, was apt to be

very passionate when he thought a lord did not hear him properly.
One day he appeared before Lord Forglen,[186] who was very heavy.
Sir Walter opened his cause. The other party answered, and among
other objections which they stated, they insisted on some trifling
point of form, that the cause had not been regularly put up upon the
wall. Sir Walter replied to all their objections with accuracy and
spirit, but took no notice of the trifling point of form. ‘Lord Forglen,’
said Sir Walter, ‘you have pleaded your cause very well, but what do
you say to the wall?’ ‘Indeed’ said he, ‘my lord, I have been speaking
to it this half-hour;’ and off he went in a great passion.”
 Lord Auchinleck.

“Jack Bowes, an Englishman, who was married to a noted

midwife at Edinburgh, and was really mad, but had great humour,
got up one day on the steps which lead up to the New Kirk (the
lady’s steps), and there he gathered a crowd about him, and
preached to them. ‘Gentlemen,’ said he, ‘you will find my text in the
2nd Epistle of St. Paul to Timothy, the 4th chapter, and there the
13th verse, ‘The cloak that I left at Troas with Carpus, when thou
comest, bring with thee, and the books, but especially the
parchments.’ ‘We insist upon the first clause. We see, gentlemen,
from these words that Paul was a presbyter, for he wore a cloak. He
does not say the gown which I left at Troas, but the cloak which I
left at Troas with Carpus, when thou comest bring with thee.
Timothy, we all know, was a bishop. Now, my friends, the doctrine I
would inculcate from this is, that a presbyter had a bishop for his
baggageman.’”
Lord Auchinleck.

“A drover owed another ——, as the price of —— lambs. His

creditor came and craved time for the money. ‘John,’ said he, ‘let me
alone for a fortnight, for I really cannot pay you sooner.’ The creditor
insisted, and called him before a judge and put him to his oath. He
swore positively that he owed no such debt. After the court was
over, the creditor asked him how he could swear against what he
had owned so often. ‘Because,’ said he, ‘you forced me, and I had
nothing else for it; but, however, John, you shall lose nothing by it,
for I shall give you my bill for the money payable in a fortnight,’ and
actually he did give his bill and paid him accordingly. A most
wonderful mixture of impiety and honesty.”
Lord Auchinleck.

“Sir William Gordon would needs make a library because my Lord

Sunderland made one, but all he wanted was just dear books. He
came in one day to Vanderaa’s shop, in Leyden, and asked if he had
got any dear new books. Vanderaa showed him the ‘Thesaurus
Italiæ et Siciliæ’ in—— volumes. Sir William turned to Dr. Cooper and
said, ‘Pray, Doctor, have I got that book?’ ‘No, Sir William, nor do I
think you have occasion for it.’ ‘Mr. Cooper, I cannot be without that
book.’ ‘Upon my word, Sir William, I think you might very well be
without it.’ ‘There, Mr. Cooper, you and I differ.—Mr. Vanderaa, let
that book be packed up and sent for me to London.’”
Lord Auchinleck.

“Dr. Taylor, the oculist, was one evening supping at William Earl
of Dumfries’s, at Edinburgh. He harangued with his usual fluency
and impudence, and boasted that he knew the thoughts of
everybody by looking at their eyes. The first Lady Dumfries,[187]
who was hurt with his behaviour, asked him with a smile of
contempt, ‘Pray, sir, do you know what I am thinking?’ ‘Yes, madam,’
said he. ‘Then,’ replied the countess, ‘it’s very safe, for I am sure you
will not repeat it.’”
Dr. Webster, who was present.

“When the first Lady Dumfries was within a quarter of an hour of

her death, she showed an attention to the interests of religion, and
at the same time an address equal to that of any statesman. The
earl came down from her all in tears, and told it to the Rev. Mr.
Webster. ‘My lord,’ said she, ‘you have always shown a proper regard
to the ordinances of religion. People have been pleased to say that
you did so out of compliment to me. Providence is now giving your
lordship an opportunity to show that it was entirely from yourself.’”
Dr. Webster.

“John Lord Hope[188] was educated at home about his father’s

house, full of conceit, full of petulance. His mother, the first Lady
Hopetown, stood much in awe of my lord, but when he was not
present was very lively and agreeable. One night at supper Lord
Hope had made some figure of the crumbs of his bread, and
plagued all the company to tell what it was. Many flattered him;
some called it a pretty summerhouse; some, one of the ruins of
Rome, and so made him exceedingly vain. He at last applied to my
lady his mother. ‘Madam,’ said he, ‘you have not told me what you
think it is.’ ‘Well,’ said she, ‘if you will have what I think it, I shall tell
you I think it a monument of a young lord’s folly.’”
Dr. Webster.

“Mr. William Nairne observed that it maybe said of a well-

employed barrister who lays by much money, what Horace says of
the ant,—
‘Ore trahit quodcunque potest atque addit acervo.’”
I was present.

“A gentleman expended immense sums of money in attempting

to improve a barren soil. Boswell observed ‘that the gentleman was
as busy burying gold as others are in digging it up.’”

“It has often occurred to me that artificial passions are stronger

than real ones, just as a wall built with good mortar is found to be
harder and worse to separate than the natural rock. A passion for
pageantry, and many more of the passions generated in civilized life,
often influence men more than the real genuine passions natural to
man.”

“Cullen, the mimic,[189] had a wretched manner of his own. He

was one forenoon reading Lord Mansfield’s admirable speech on the
Privilege Bill. Several of our brother advocates were listening to him.
I could not help laughing, for I said hearing Lord Mansfield’s speech
read by Cullen was like hearing a piece of Handel’s music played on
a (trump) Jew’s harp.”

“I have observed that business has a different effect on the

spirits of different men. It sinks the spirits of some and raises the
spirits of others. To the spirits of some, a variety of affairs are like
stones put into a pool of water, which make the water rise in
proportion to the quantity of stones; to the spirits of others, affairs
(des affaires) are like sponges put into a pool of water, which suck it
up. Men of great firmness can retain their vivacity amidst a
multiplicity of business. The King of Prussia is a distinguished
example.”[190]

“Mr. John Pettigrew,[191] minister of Govan, was one of the

originals amongst the clergy of Scotland, of which there were many
in the last age. His presbytery was once violently divided who should
be moderator in the room of one Mr. Love,[192] then in the chair.
While they were disputing with vast keenness Mr. Petticrew came in,
and being asked his opinion, he said, ‘Moderator, let brotherly love
continue.’ The presbytery took his advice, and so their disputes were
ended in good humour.”
Lord Auchinleck.

“Cullen, the mimick,[193] was excessively ugly, having most

horrible teeth, and, upon the whole, a physiognomy worse than
Wilkes’s. His own manner, as has been observed, was also wretched.
One morning when he was grinning and pleading a cause, I stood by
and observed, ‘Whom is Cullen taking off? He is taking off the
devil.’”

“Sinclair, of Briggend, a Caithness laird, was telling that a

gentleman with whom he had played at loo had a way of keeping
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