Untie The Knots (Overcoming Your Ego! How much importance do you attach to yourself? Is it just limited to your self-esteem and Road — confidence or does it go beyond to touch your ‘ego’. Ego is your conscious mind, that part of your 1. | identity that you consider your sel Itis good to have reasonable self-esteem but certainly bad to hold a big ego that can destroy your life and relationships. Once Lord Buddha came to preach his ee disciples. He had a beautiful piece of cloth inhis hand. The disciples were surprised as it was very unusual to see Lord Buddha with anything in hishands. When Lord Buddha was addressing everyone, he started tying knots in that piece of cloth. After tying four to five knots in that piece of cloth, he showed it to everyone and asked them, “Is this the same piece of cloth which | had bought initially oris there any difference?” One of the disciples said, "Lord itis the same, butits condition has changed.” Lord Buddha said, “Correct, now if | wish is it possible for me to bring the condition of this cloth back to its original form? Another disciple said, “Lord, itis possible but you will have to untieall the knots from that piece of cloth.” Lord Buddha asked, “How would you untie the knots? Will the knots be untied by pulling the piece of cloth?” Another disciple replied, “Lord, if we observe carefully and figure out exactly how the knots have been tied then it will be easier to untie the knots. But if we don't know that and try pulling the cloth from both sides then we might make the knots tighter.” Lord Buddha said, “Exactly, many times we argue and quarrel with our friends and family. IFwe insist that only we are right and stick to our ego then the knots become stronger.” Then, Lord Buddha untied the knots and explained, “If we analyse the reason behind the knots and without expecting anything from others, try to remove the root causeeasily untie all the knots. Similarly, if we untie all the knots in our relationships, they will become smooth just like this piece of cloth.” How YourEgoRuins You Ego is basically a sense of superiority or a sense of being separate from the universe, which claims special attention or abilities, takes credit for accomplishments and blames others for what goes wrong. Ego is often mistaken for confidence. There is a big difference between confidence and ego. Confidence is healthy, while ego is destructive. Too much ego not only kills your talent, career and relationships but also your happiness. Here is how ego can ruin yourlife and be destructive. tt stops you from growing: An inflated ego makes you stubborn and when you are stubborn you don't listen to other people and their advice. You ignore or underestimate the advice coming from people who are better and more experienced than you. It affects your ability to take guidance and succeed inlife. it makes you less compassionate: A big ego makes you less compassionate and kind. You start looking down on people as inferior and makes you look at their flaws and weaknesses. You start believing that people are personally attacking you rather than understanding their point of view. it pushes people away from you: Your ego may push the ‘right’ people away from you while attracting the ‘wrong’ ones towards you. People enjoy the company of those who lift them up and not those who tear them down or make others feel like they are so much better than them. [tmakes you irrational: When you want to always win over and prove others wrong, you start acting in ways that are not very diplomatic or rational, You will always say and do things to prove that you are right instead of trying to understand things from a logical standpoint. Itmakes you critical: Too much ego makes you criticise everyone and complain about everything because they are not up to your false standards. This kind of attitude will not make you enjoy anything in life because youwill never be satisfied if you keep trying to point out what's wrong with others. Itmakes you competitive in an unhealthy way: Your desire to be on the top can make you harm others. You seldom wish the best for someone and it makes you less content with your life because you want to take what othershave. it makes you greedy: It is good to be ambitious, but a big ego makes you greedy because you always want more and you want to. 6G'tc0 is just a small three win bigger. letter word, which can It adds to your stress: A person with ego is always trying to be wordcaled eLAnONSEIES 99 better than others and takes everything on his self-esteem. He does not sleep well and does not have peace of mind because he is always frustrated and anxious. {kills your happiness: Your ego can take away so many good things in your life and push many loved ones away from you. twill affect your character and the way you live your life. it makes you so over ambitious that youwill not be able to deal with the disappointments or hardships of life in ahealthy way. Howto Overcome YourEgo Gaining control of your ego is the best thing that you can do for yourself or else it will continue getting in the way of your life and adversely affectit.ce aresome ways to tame and overcome your ego. \dalearning based motivation: Ego forces us to be motivated by what we achieve and conquer whereas higher self wants Us to learn, experience and live. A learning based motivation is the best way to jvercome your ego because in that case you always learn, even if you don't succeed. While in an sccomplishment based motivation, you work and perform to prove your superiority over others. Don't compare yourself with others: Your ego will always compare yourself with other people. When you ympare your achievements and past performance with your present, sometimes you will fall short. Sometimes you won't succeed at something you had done previously or someone else had done. Your ego will punish you and make you feel inferior and useless. On the contrary, if you succeed and overcome others, your egowill make you believe that you are superior, something which is certainly anillusion. gocuson the present: Your ego gives you an attitude, where all you want isto arrive somewhere and achieve something. It does not care about the process or means, as long as it achieves and feels superior. If you follow your ego, you will never enjoy the present moment end all the fun and experiences it brings. Overcome your ego so you can enjoy the now and focus on the present. Stop being boastful: When you talk with someone, your ego starts measuring itself with the speaker. As this ‘pens you will start boasting and bragging about things you have achieved, things you have and places you have visited. Your ego will fill your talk with personal material, material that proves that you are better or superior than the other person. To keep your ego down, stop boasting with your glorifying speech. Surrender your need to control: Once you let your ego control your life, you will never be happy or relaxed 3s soon as you lose one of the things that you identify with, the rest will slip like grains of sand from your fist nd you will jose your happiness. Stop trying to control everything in your life. Be curious in little things. Do what makes you happy. Explore Oketiections: leads you to talking about yourself -your: is some way. But a truly confident person should let! trumpet. When you learn to put your ego aside animportant role in your success and in your!Answer the following questions: What answer did the disciple give when Lord Buddha asked how the condition of the cloth could be brought back toits original form? What lesson did Lord Buddha want to teach his discipiles through the knot tying example? What do you mean by ego? How doesit stop you from growing? How does ego make you competitive in an unhealthy way? What happens when you compare yourself with others? | _ Statewhether the following statements are true or false. Rewrite the false statements correctly Egois healthy, while confidence is destructive. Ego affects your ability to take guidance and succeed in life. Abig ego makes you more compassionate and kind. Tokeep your ego down, stop boasting with your glorifying speech Always try to control everything in your life Ill Fillintheblanks with the correctwords. 1. When Lord Buddha was addressing everyone, he started tying cloth. 2. Toomuchegonot only kills your talent, career and butalso your happiness. 3. When you want to always win over and prove others wrong, you start acting in ways that are not very or 4, Your ego can take away so many ones away from you. 5. Your ego gives you an attitude, where all you want is to arrive in that piece of things in your life and push many and achieve IV. Lord Buddha said, “Exactly, many times we argue and quarrel with our friends and family. If we insist that only we are right and stick to our ego then the knots become stronger.” What example did Lord Buddha cite before his disciples and what lesson did they get from it? V. _ Egoisbasicallya sense of superiority ora sense of being separate from the universe, whichclaims special attention or abilities, takes credit for accomplishments and blames others for what goes wrong. Inthe light of the above statement, explain how ego ruins your life and kills your relationships. @ Know Yourself (Life skill exercise): Tick (v) the statements that best describe you, then analyse whether they reflect egoism or not. Highlight the ego statements inredink. (a) Icanusually talk my way out of anything. (b) _ Ipreferto blend with the crowd, (| __ Iknow!am good because everybody keeps telling meso. (d) _ thave anaturaltalent for influencing people.Jamessentially a modest person like tobe the centre of attention. Jam not too concermed about success. h) ike to have authority over other people. |) insist upon getting the respect thatis due tome. j) _ Ijustwant to be reasonably happy. \)_ Iwillusually show offifl get the chance. |) Irarely depend on anyone else to get things done. im) Ilike todo things for other people. n)_ Iwillneverbe satisfied untill getaall that deserve. 0) Power forits own sake doesn't interest me, p) _ Iwould prefer to be a leader in every situation. a) thopelam going to be successful 1) Thereisalot!canleam from other people. s) lam much like everybody else. 3 he World around you (Life skill exercise): Egocan pull anyone down andkill their talent instantly. Read thisinteresting story. There was once a learned scientist. After a lot of efforts and pr learned the art of reproducing himself. He did it so perfectly reproduction from the original. One day while doing his research, he realised that the to remain immortal, he reproduced a dozen copies of that all of them looked exactly like him. Now when know which of the thirteen before him was the or ng clever idea. Addressing all the thirteen : st succeeded in making such perfect flaw in your work just one tiny little The original scientist “Right here,” said)