CHAPTER 5: Unpacking the Self

Introduction

There is always a pressure in our society to look good, and to seek a visually better
version of ourselves. We often get so caught up with the ways we can make sure that we look
beautiful and nice, that sometimes, we frown at our natural looks, our dark complexion
perhaps, or even our short stature.

The social pressure of looking perfect gave rise to the many beautiful products and
enhancement procedures, being patronized by a large portion of our population, no matter how
expensive they might be, just to fit in, to be accepted, and be beautiful. In the global society
where fairer skin and a size zero for women are deemed attractive if not stunning, we can only
expect ourselves to follow and abide by the mantra, “Beauty is Power”, no matter how
destructive it might be for us.

Our physical selves have become so dependent on the judgment of our appearance, and
not with the celebration of it. In this chapter, we will look at the work of nature and nurture,
and how greatly influences the features of our physical selves, particularly how we look, and
how standards of beauty, both in local and global contexts have affected our self-acceptance.
We will also look into the different cultural standards of beauty and how it has affected our self-
concept, our self-esteem and body image, and realize that beauty, in all shapes and sizes, is
meant to be celebrated.

Why Do I Look Like Myself?

Have you ever faced the mirror and asked yourself, “Why do I look like me?” Science
explains that our parents are very much instrumental in understanding why we look how we
look. Gregor Mendel first figured out how genes are passed from parents to offspring in plants,
including humans. His experiments on pea plants showed genes are passed intact from
generation to generation and that traits are not blended. Mendel‟s discovery was that it is
through the genes that traits were passed from parent to offspring through several generations
(Cummings, 2016).

Genetics definitely has a hand on our physical appearance. Our biology dictates that our
looks are result of the genes transferred to us by our parents. From our skin tone, hair color, to
our height, our physical feature are an evidence that we are our parent‟s children. When
heredity is actually at work, we find ourselves being the mirrors of our parents, which was the
result of their DNA (deoxyribonucleic acid) at work in us, and for some, even looking like carbon
copies of them.

Cultural Standards of Beauty

Defining a beauty can be a daunting task. Suffice it to say that describing such would
be very problematic since it is contextual to say the least. As culture decides the norms of the
society, its concept of what is beautiful is similarly invoked from a cultural perspective.

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 Different cultures have different standards of beauty. During the 19 th century in the
African country of Tahiti, it was recorded that some men and women were set aside in a special
place for fattening purposes (Pollock, 1995). In addition, they were covered in large amount of
tapa barkcloth, which, after the ritual is over, reveals a lighter skin for those who were selected.
The goal of this ritual is to enhance their beauty, not only by feeding them but by making sure
that they get a lighter skin afterwards.

“Fattening Rooms” are used less these days but are still relevant among well-off
families (Brink, 1995). This was also recorded in Nigeria during the ancient times when being
fat was viewed as a sign of prosperity, fertility, and beauty (The Fattening Room, Nkugho,
n.d.). These examples impeccably depict how beauty is espoused distinctly in different
societies.

Lakoff and Scherr (1989), in their book Face Value: The Politics of Beauty, explain this
perfectly saying that….”beauty was not just a product of wealth, but a commodity in and of
itself. In other words, it was no longer a matter of looking into wealth to find beauty, but of
looking to beauty to find status. Now, beauty could give the illusion of wealth.”

In the Philippines, the construction of local standards of beauty can be traced from our
colonial influences. Skin color signifies the value of the people in society. Lighter skinned
individuals are considered higher in terms of social status, and therefore, in social rank
compared to those with brown or dark skin (Rondilla, 2012). Our concept of physical selves as
Filipinos is largely associated with our skin color. Historically, our people were colonized by
fairer skinned races—the Spaniards, the Americans, and the Japanese.

The colonization of our country by these white-skinned people lasted for more than
three centuries. We were forced to believe that they were the more superior people, more
civilized, and even how they look were deemed as standard beauty—very Eurocentric
perspective which has influenced our concept of attractiveness even today. Free as we are
claiming we are claiming we are, still our mindset is still slave to the white culture. Their
whiteness has become a goal for most Filipinos that even our television and movie personalities
here mirror their looks.

The Filipino Obsession with Beauty: The Case of Xander Ford

The Filipinos obsession with beauty translates not only with women, but also with men.
Take the case of Xander Ford, previously known as Marlou Arizala, a former member of
Hasht5—a teen boy band who became an online sensation not because of their attractiveness
nor talent, but because of the disgust and animosity they received for their „ugly‟ faces.

Xander decision to alter his physical appearance was not without pressure of the society
to look good, if not better. He was not spared from bullying since he became an internet
sensation because by our standards, he simply is unattractive.

His decision to go under the knife was because of a lookist culture which dictates that
happiness is only afforded to good-looking people (Estrada, 2017). As our society puts
premium to Eurocentric standard of beauty, we victimize our own people for looking otherwise.

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For Xander Ford, it was good that he was sponsored by a cosmetic surgery clinic unlike many
who shell out thousands if not millions just to look physically appealing.

Xander Ford‟s cosmetic surgery perhaps can be called a success. Yet, not all surgeries
are deemed safe. Dr. Samuel Eric Yapjuanco, Xander‟s plastic surgeon, conducted three
procedures on businesswoman Shirly Saturnino, March of last year, but the latter died in the
process. Reports from the Philippine National Crime Laboratory say that Ms. Saturnino died of
fat embolism—a condition where there was fat in the blood vessels which entered into the lungs
of the victim, making it hard for her to breathe (Sallan, 2017).

Truth is, women have been evaluated based on their appearance more than men
(Wade, 2017). They have been valued and devalued based on how they look. It is for this
reason that many of them fall prey to even unnecessary cosmetic surgeries due to that desire
of wanting to look good, if not perfect.

Health concerns are foremost to be considered before going through these kinds of
surgeries. Yet, there are those who feel that there is always a need for them to alter
whichever, part of their body, because they feel that they do not look beautiful, even if you tell
them that they already are. This perspective seems to be the case not only for a lot of
millennials but for those who are suffering from Body Dysmorphic Disorder or BDD.

Those who are suffering from BDD are so obsessed about their appearance, thus think
about their flaws, real or not, incessantly and uncontrollably (Body Dysmorphic Disorder: A
Quest for Perfection, 2012). Those who are diagnosed with this disorder are very much
preoccupied by a perceived physical flaw that is either absent or so trivial that only the one
suffering from it sees it as a problem, being so much distressed about it, that daily routines are
affected (Wilhelm, 2006).

Those who are suffering from this disorder are so self-anxious that they seek cosmetic
surgeries to finally solve their body issues. Dr. Yapchangco explains this obsession of millenials
with plastic surgery, in the case of milenials saying “They want to be more pleasing, to be more
beautiful. They consider that having a beautiful face and body is always an edge in most
aspects of life, especially in getting into their chosen career,” (Sallan,2017)

A Healthy Body Image, and Self-esteem in Peril

The quest for physical perfection has brought to us an ordeal that will not end unless we
got to the bottom of the problem. Our society has not only placed so much importance on
looking beautiful, but also has done a great job in commercializing the same. Even the
Americans are in trouble for wanting to be physically appealing.

Perhaps at one point in our lives, we have been implicitly or explicitly criticized, or even
ridiculed for how we look. Our standards have become so unbearable that our society mocks
us for looking imperfect. This has caused many of us to lose confidence in ourselves and break
that one last strand of self-esteem that we do have. When women in particular get called out
for being heavy, if not obese, they are not called as such by people to remind them to get
healthy for their own good, but to just vilify their looks, and magnify their imperfections. This,

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 in turn, results to, not only having a strong desire for the bullied to get thin, but with it also
comes that fear for gaining weight, thus, restricting themselves from food intake.

Fig. – Almost Anorexic (Arnol, n.d.)

Anorexia is defined as “a serious mental illness where people are of low weight due to limiting their energy
intake. It can affect anyone of any age, gender, or background. As well as restricting the amount of food
eaten, they may do lots of exercise to get rid of food eaten. Some people with anorexia may experience
cycle of bingeing (eating large amounts of food at once) and then purging,” (Anorexia, 2017)

This is not the only suffering of those who have been criticized for their weight. Body
Shaming which is criticizing yourself or others because of some aspect of physical appearance
(Vargas, 2014), has resulted in the loss of self-confidence of those who have been thin-shaped
or fat-shamed.

Body-image disturbance (BID) is an important aspect of several pathologies in

psychology, particularly eating disorders. It has two components: The perceptual component
which refers to how we accurately perceive our body size, also known as body size estimation,
and the attitudinal component which refers to how we think and feel about the size and/or
shape of our body, which if not correctly processed, will result to body dissatisfaction (Greene,
2011).

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Fig. --- Body image in the 21st century (Konter, 2017)

Stice and Whitenton (2002), found out that body dissatisfaction is alos linked with
mental disorders including depression and anxiety among adolescents. This is very much
alarming since statistics have shown much of today‟s generation have fallen prey from body
image disturbance.

The Filtered Self

The advent of social media put pressure on us to look even better. On Instagram, the
most famous photo-sharing application known to us to date, we post our most physically
appealing self, and more often than not, we use filter applications, where we can hide our
imperfections, creating, and recreating a self that is better approved by our online friends.
Instagram, together with the many other photo sharing applications, give us the frredom to
alter our looks, and present our physical selves, not just the way we want our society approves
it.

Today‟s youngsters are sadly the victims od such sine we live at a time when our self-
approval depends on the likes, shares, and comments of our social media posts.

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 When our filtered photos look better than the unfiltered ones, and the virtual world
agrees, we tend to keep everythng that way. There is that possibility, however, that the more
we approve of the filtered us, the more that we disregard our real, unfiltered physical selves.

Celebrating Beauty in Diversity

Cultural concepts of beauty should be celebrated. However, practices that enhance

attractivenss, yet, are severely harmful to our health, should be stopped. In her book, Beauty
and Misogony: Harmful Cultural Practices in the West, Shiela Jeffreys (2005) explained that it is
not enough to know that there are a lot of beauty enhancement practices that are detrimental
to women‟s health. For her, women should stand against the cultural requierement on what
they should do with their bodies. Thus, a celebration of beauty in diversity requires, as she
calls it, a culture of resistance. This is a culture that veers away from the dictates of what
women in society should look like to be called beautiful.

We are challenged at this time to speak up against body shaming particularly that we
are living in an image-driven virtual society. Embracing our physical selves entails affirming
each other regardless of our skin color, stature, and body mass index. There is a need to
defend those who do not fall under the idyllic image of thin and beautiful (Fat Shaming and
Body Shaming, n.d.) We should never allow ourselves to be victims of this since we are
supposed to celebrate the authentic us, where we do not need to hide our physical flaws and to
resist the demands of a deprecating image driven society.

You Are Who You Look! Embracing Your Physical Self

In a society that worships perfection, embracing our physical selves is not going to be
easy. Still and all, being positive about how we look can definitely work miracles. In the book
of Psalms in the sacred Scriptures, we are deemed as the masterpieces of the Creator of the
universe, carefully, precisely, and worthly created (Psalm 139:14, NIV). This idea of embracing
one‟s value is also seen in sacred texts of other religious beliefs.

The significance of self-acceptance is necessary in embracing our physical selves. We

need not fret if the way we look does not live up to the standards set by our society. We have
to be reminded that our health is foremost in all these. Remember that body size, shape, skin
color, and stature are never correct indicators of a healthy life. There is nothing more
important than t learn to accept and embrace who we are, with all the beauty, flaws and
imperfections, because this is the only way that we can live in peace and at peace with our
selves.

Summary

It would be impossible to livea contented life if we are not happy with our physical
selves. We need to be reminded that our looks are a testament that we are a byproduct of our
parents love for each other. This is something that every time we look in the mirror, we need
to remind ourselves that we are full of our parents‟ love, care, and acceptance.

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 Nonetheless, as we embrace our looks, we need to help others affirm their distinct
beautyinclusive of its flaws, its scars, and all of its imperfectons. We need to be part of a
culture of resistance in a society that dictates beauty in physical perfection. As Amy Bloom puts
it, and something for us to ponder on…”You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed.
And you are beautiful.”

#KEYWORDS
#ANOREXIA: It is defined as “a serious mental illness where people are of low weight
due to limiting their food intake. It can affect anyone of any age, gender, or
background. As well as restricting the amount of food eaten, they may do lots of
exercise to get rid of food eaten. Some people with anorexia may experience cycles
of bingeing ( eating large amounts of food at once) and then purging.

#BodyDismorphic Disorder: Those who are suffering from this disorder are very
much preoccupied by a perceived physical flaw that is either absent or trivial that
only the one suffering from it sees it as a problem, being so much distressed about it,
that daily routines are affected

#BodyShaming: The act of criticizing yourself or others because of some aspect of

physical appearance.

#Heredity: the transmission or passing on of traits from the parent to the offspring

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