Chapter 8:

Emotional Intelligence
The study of emotional intelligence by Daniel Goleman (1995) resulted in varied investigations and
researches which confirmed that success in managing emotions will result in success in relating with
others and even success at work.

The Oxford Dictionary defines emotions as “any agitation or disturbance of the mind, feeling, passion;
any vehement or excited mental state”.

Goleman refers to emotion as a feeling and the corresponding thoughts, psychological and biological
states with the tendency to act on it. The root of the word emotion is motere, a Latin verb which means
“to move” plus the prefix e signifying “move away” pointing that a tendency to act is implied with
emotion (Goleman,1995).

Emotional Intelligence or emotional quotient (EQ) refers “to the emotional awareness and emotional
management skills which provide the ability to balance emotion and reason so as to maximize our long-
term happiness”

Sanchez (2002) States that emotion and feelings should not be confused. Feeling, according to her,
refers to the experience of “ pleasantness or unpleasantness’ during and emotional experience.

Difference between Feelings and Emotions

Intensity of Emotion

The theory on emotional intensity (Brehm, 1999) states that our emotion faculty lies in the
central nervous system. Its reaction is sudden, fast, and swift and can change from one state of emotion
to the next. Only one emotion is felt at a time.

Emotion Differentiation

Pykari’s (2011) thesis mentions four stages of emotion differentiation such as recognition, assessment,
meta-cognition and regulation.

 Recognition. Focus on the current emotion. Just be aware or be conscious of such emotion.
 Assessment. Connect the detected emotion to the current task. Also check out the distracting
factors such as emotions rooted in one’s imagination. Initially identify what triggers such
emotions.
 Meta-evaluation. This will involve assessing one’s evaluation skills. That is you try to look into
your essential assessment of the emotion that you have previously identified.
 Regulation. The challenge in this part is what you are going to do with the emotion when it is
recognized.

Managing Emotion through Emotional Intelligence

The intense emotional experiences during your stage can be managed well through the use of
emotional intelligence. You have to learn the basic skills first so that you will understand emotion and its
intensity to learn how to express it properly.
Goleman (1995) introduced the five domains of emotional intelligence, emphasizing that these skills can
be learned.

Goleman Five Domains of Emotional Intelligence

1. Self-awareness. This refers to the first and basic skillthat the moment that emotion is felt, you
are able to identify it properly.
a. Anger –fury, outrage, resentment, wrath, exasperation, indignation, vexation, acrimony,
animosity, annoyance, irritability, hostility, and perhaps at the extreme, pathological hatred and
violence.
b. Sadness- grief, sorrow, cheerlessness, gloom, melancholy, self-pity, loneliness, dejection,
despair, and when pathological, severe depression.
c. Fear- anxiety, apprehension, nervousness, concern, consternation, misgiving, wariness, qualm,
edginess, dread, fright, terror; as psychopathology, phobia and panic.
d. Enjoyment- happiness, relief, joy, contentment, bliss, delight, amusement, pride, sensual,
pleasure, thrill, rapture, gratification, satisfaction, euphoria, whimsy, ecstacy, and at the far
edge, mania.
e. Love- acceptance, friendliness, trust, kindness, affinity, devotion, adoration, infatuation, agape.
f. Surprise- shock, astonishment, amazement, wonder
g. Disgust- contempt, disdain, scorn, abhorrence, aversion, distaste, revulsion
h. Shame- guilt, embarrassment, chagrin, remorse, humiliation, regret, mortification, contrition.

2. Managing Emotion. This refers to the regulating emotion and making it fit a particular circumstance.
This would challenge you to response appropriately, so that you do not blurt out your anger anytime
you want.

3. Motivating the self. An emotionally intelligent person is able to “propel himself/herself to move on
with life despite his/her circumstances”. So you, as an adolescent, can choose not to become a victim of
the situation.

4. Empathy. This refers to your ability to sense the feelings or emotions of others without them saying
anything to you.

5. Social Skills. This refers to the ability to manage emotion in others. As you are able to manage your
own emotions, you will gain the capacity to listen to a peer who may be going through a highly
emotional experience such as intense anger.

 Steve Hein( 1996) INSIGHTS ABOUT Emotional Intelligence

 Experiencing great depth of emotion enables you to relate with those may be undergoing similar
emotions or experiences.
 You will waste a lot of time if you fight your emotion. You do not fight reality. It is like telling
water not to be wet or stone not to be hard.
 Your emotion is very much a part of you. To be happy, you can only be who you are.
 If you know yourself well, you will find it easier to make decisions. If you don’t, you will either
make choices you will regret or you will be stuck in decision.
 it is difficult to be empathic ( or to be in someone’s shoes) if you label or judge them. When you
do this, you will destroy your capacity to feel others empathically.
 We have a quick-to-criticize society, that is why we don’t often hear honest expressions of
feelings.
 We were taught the names of countries and capitals, plants and trees, rivers and rocks,
presidents and philosophers, chemicals and triangles, but we were never taught the names of
our feelings.

Feedback Giving and Receiving

Feedback carries information. It can be in the form of verbal or nonverbal or written

expression.
Verbal feedback uses words, while nonverbal feedback uses facial expressions and body language,
which send a much stronger message than words.

Written feedback however, can be expressed through letters or report cards in school reflecting your
academic performance level or assessment

A. Giving Feedback

 Start and end with positive feedback.

 Clarify your motivations before giving feedback.
 Use “I” statements.
 Describe the situation, behaviors, and effects ( state how you feel about the situation, others, or
tasks and hand, etc.).
 Give examples where possible.
 Be descriptive not evaluative.
 Consider the amount of information.
 Suggest alternatives when feed back is negative.
 Give feedback on things that can be changed.
 Pray before and after giving feedback.

B. Receiving Feedback

 Listen to feedback.
 assume the feedback is constructive.
 Pause and think before responding( check how you feel about the emotional expression).
 Ask to repeat if you have not heard clearly.
 Ask for clarifications or examples.
 Accept positive and negative feedback for consideration rather than dismissing them to protect
yourself.
 Ask for suggestions on how you can modify your behavior.
 Respect and thank the person giving the feedback.

Insights on Exploring Positive and Negative Emotion and How one Expresses or Hides them

Daniel Goleman’s (1995) concept of emotional intelligence guides you first and foremost, in identifying
positive and negative emotions by naming emotions when they happen and in owning them without
blaming others how you feel. He also stated that 80 to 90 percent of our emotions are not expressed
and if expressed, they are not properly stated. We only resort to nonverbal communication, making
others know how we feel through the way we look at them including the sound of our voice and some
body language.