© Copyright 2022 The Depression Project

Reproduction of this journal or any portion thereof is not allowed without the
express permission of The Depression Project.
 Why Did We Make This Journal?

In early 2022, The Depression Project posed a question to our 2,000,000+ Instagram followers
in one of our “stories”:

Does your depression ever make you feel numb?

Over 17,000 people responded, and would you like to know how many of them answered yes?

97%.

And, because “depression numbness” is so, so common, we created this journal, in order to:

• Help you feel like you’re not alone;

• Help you better understand “depression numbness” – including the reasons why you
may be experiencing it in the first place;

• Help you break out of “depression numbness”, so that you can:

o Get back to experiencing joy and pleasure from the things that you usually like
doing;

o Be able to think clearer and function more effectively;

o Be in a better position to take the necessary steps to treat your depression.

In order to help you achieve these objectives, this journal includes a range of guided questions
– also referred to as prompts – for you to thoughtfully consider and then write out your
response to. As you’ll soon see, we’ve allocated one page for you to answer each guided
question – however, in case this isn’t enough space, a “blank page” is also included at the end
of this journal, which you’re welcome to print off and use as many times as you’d like. Of
course, if you’d prefer not to print this journal off at all and instead write out your responses
in your own diary or in a note-taking app on your phone for example, then you’re more than
welcome to do that too. After all, it doesn’t really matter where you complete this journal – all
that matters is that you take the time to do so :)

And, with all of that being said, let’s now get started!

All our love,

The Depression Project Team.

 First Things First: Right Now, How Confident And
Empowered Do You Feel To Be Able To Break Out Of
“Depression Numbness”?

The purpose of this journal is to empower you to be able to break out of “depression
numbness”. And, in order to help you “measure your progress”, so to speak, in the space
below, we encourage you to write down, as a score out of 100, how confident and empowered
you feel right now to be able to break out of “depression numbness”. After completing all of
the prompts in this journal, we’ll then ask you this question again – so that you can see for
yourself how far you’ve come.

Right now, as a score out of 100, how confident and empowered do

you feel to be able to break out of “depression numbness”?

_____/100

Once you’ve done this, please turn the page so that we can share with you what The
Depression Project’s community have told us about what “depression numbness” is like for
them – after which, it will then be time for you to write out your response to your first journal
prompt!
 What Is “Depression Numbness” Like For You?

When we initially asked our community if depression made them feel numb, we also asked
them three follow-up questions as well:

• What does “depression numbness” feel like?

• What does “depression numbness” look like?

• What does “depression numbness” sound like?

And, in order to try to help you feel less alone, better understood, and part of a community of
people who know what you’re going through, over the next few pages, we’d like to share some
of the responses with you!
 What Does “Depression Numbness” Feel Like?

“When you’re ‘depression numb’, you’re indifferent to everything and

everyone”

As this quote from one of our members gets at, apathy is one of the hallmarks of “depression
numbness”. On a similar note, another one of our members put it this way: “When I’m numb
from depression, I just don’t care. No matter what happens or what I do – good or bad – it’s
just a blah ‘I don't care’. Stubbed my toe? I don't care. Broke a ceramic dish? I don't care. Need
to wash the dishes? I don't care. Found $20 in a jacket pocket? I don't care.”

According to our community, it’s also important to note that when you’re feeling “depression
numb”, it’s extremely common to no longer enjoy the hobbies and activities that you used to
love. Not only that, but it’s also extremely common for the people closest to you to no longer
bring you any joy, pleasure or happiness, either. Instead of positive emotions such as these,
you feel nothing. And, understandably, this can leave you confused, scared, and completely
disconnected from the world – since nothing evokes in you any sort of emotion.

“When you’re ‘depression numb’, there’s no colour in anything”

Emotions have the power to make every experience seem vibrant and colourful. So, when
you’re experiencing “depression numbness”, it’s like seeing everything in black and white. All
of the colour and beauty has vanished.

“‘Depression numbness’ makes you lose touch with your senses, and
makes you feel like you’re outside your body”

When you’re struggling with “depression numbness”, you may feel as if your senses are blunt.
Consequently, things that would otherwise stimulate your senses or cause a sensory reaction
in some way – such as food, music, art or sex, for example – may be much less able to do so.
Additionally, when you’re “depression numb”, it’s extremely common to feel as if you’ve left
your body – in the sense that you’re no longer present in it (this is known as being
disembodied).

“When you’re ‘depression numb’, you’re constantly fatigued”

Feeling “depression numb” can coincide with your body “shutting down”. And, if this is the
case, then for as long as your body is “shut down”, you may experience constant, debilitating
fatigue – to such an extent that even relatively simple tasks like doing your chores or taking
care of your personal hygiene for example can feel like climbing a mountain.

“When you’re ‘depression numb’, you have no motivation”

When you can no longer find pleasure in anything, then it can rob you of all your motivation.
In particular, it’s common to find yourself thinking “what’s the point?”, and to feel as if you’re
devoid of purpose. Furthermore, this lack of motivation is likely to be compounded if you’re
feeling extremely fatigued.

“When you’re ‘depression numb’, everything is stagnant”

Everything can feel very slow and heavy when you’re struggling with “depression numbness”.
It may seem as if you’re not able to gain any momentum, develop, or grow at all. There may
be nothing in the present or the future that excites you or that arouses any joy, and life can
feel as if it’s reduced to constant nothingness.

“Being ‘depression numb’ feels like you’re operating on auto-pilot”

You may just be going through the motions, doing the bare minimum every day to survive. The
absence of emotions can make you feel like a robot.

“‘Depression numbness’ is the absence of hope”

It’s common to be so far removed from positive emotions such as joy, happiness, pleasure and
being at peace for example that it can be hard to envision yourself ever experiencing them
again. Similarly, it can feel impossible to envision yourself ever being free of depression as well.
Now That We’ve Shared What “Depression Numbness”
Feels Like, What Does It Look Like?

“Inactivity”

Like we’ve said, when you’re “depression numb”, it’s extremely common to feel fatigued and
to lack motivation. Consequently, inactivity is also extremely common, and can take the form
of, for example:

• Not leaving your home to do the things that you otherwise would;

• Constantly putting off attending to your to-do list;

• Forgoing basic tasks such as doing your chores or looking after your personal hygiene;

• Spending much more time in bed than you otherwise would.

“When you’re ‘depression numb’, it’s such a struggle to engage with

the world around you”

This is commonly because:

• When you’re “depression numb”, everything tends to slow down for you. However,
while you slow down, the world keeps going at its regular pace – which means that
when you attempt to engage in the world, everything may seem too busy and fast for
you to comprehend.

• Your senses are part of how you engage with the world around you, and like we’ve said,
when you’re “depression numb”, you may find that your senses aren’t as sharp as they
otherwise would be.

• If you aren’t able to feel any emotions yourself and it seems as if everybody else around
you can, then it may not seem possible for you to be able to relate to anyone.
“I have to fake a smile and my emotions around others”

Like we’ve repeated, when you’re “depression numb”, you’re likely devoid of emotions – and
consequently, it’s highly unlikely that you’ll feel the natural urge to smile. However, if you
happen to be around others, then you may feel compelled to fake a smile. This may be because,
for example:

• You’re scared of being judged;

• You fear that you’ll burden others if you let them know how you’re really feeling;

• You’re scared that no-one will understand what you’re going through;

• You feel that talking and acting in a way that’s aligned with how you actually feel
wouldn’t be socially acceptable.

For these reasons, masking your true feelings in front of others when you’re “depression
numb” is something that a lot of our community’s members can relate to. As one person in
particular put it: “I have to make a conscious effort to express appropriate emotional responses
for the sake of others, rather than simply not reacting at all because that is how I honestly feel”.

“When I’m feeling “depression numb”, I sometimes struggle to

respond to other people during a conversation and can’t find my
words”

Feelings and emotions play a role in helping you communicate with other people.
Consequently, when you’re experiencing “depression numbness” and are completely out of
touch with your own feelings and those of others, then communication can become difficult
and stunted.
“If I’m not up to faking a smile and interacting with others, then I
isolate myself”

At times, you may simply feel too numb to be able to fake a smile and pretend that everything
is fine. When this is the case, then you may feel compelled to socially withdraw until you feel
better.

“When I’m “depression numb”, I can’t think clearly at all”

According to our community, when experiencing “depression numbness”, it’s also common to
experience “brain fog”. This can mean that you find it difficult to, for example, think clearly,
concentrate, make decisions, react quickly, and/or remember things.

“Even though I try, I just can’t cry”

When you’re “depression numb”, genuine expressions of emotion can be rare or non-existent.
After all, how can you express your emotions if you’re currently numb to feeling them? This
explains why when you’re “depression numb”, you may not be able to cry no matter how much
you want to.

“I self-harm just to feel alive”

Particularly if you’ve been “depression numb” for an extended period of time, you may find
yourself desperate just to feel anything – which can explain why some of our community
members report that they’re prone to self-harming when they’re “depression numb”.
However, it’s important to note that while harming yourself can help you to break out of
“depression numbness”, it’s a very destructive and self-sabotaging way of doing so, and
instead, you’re much better off using one or more of the strategies we’ll soon share with you
in this journal (at thedepressionproject.com/emergencyservices, you’ll also find a list of crisis
support numbers that you may be able to call if you feel the urge to self-harm as well).
 Lastly, Now That We’ve Shared What “Depression
Numbness” Looks Like, What Does It Sound Like?

“What’s the point?”

Like we’ve said, if you’re no longer able to feel joy in anything, then everything can feel like it’s
pointless. As we’ve also touched upon, this apathy can extend to not just items on your to-do
list, but also relatively simple, basic tasks that you would otherwise do – such as looking after
your personal hygiene or doing your chores, for example.

“Nothing’s ever going to change”

Like we’ve also said, for some people, “depression numbness” can include the absence of hope.

“I miss who I used to be”

This is a common thought to have if you find yourself looking back on better times when you
were able to feel positive emotions such as joy, hope, love and happiness, for example.

“I could be doing so much, but I don’t”

Like we’ve said, “depression numbness” often goes hand-in-hand with inactivity, and if this is
the case, then you may find yourself lamenting all that you would be able to do if you weren’t
feeling so numb. This self-talk may also become highly critical in nature, and take the form of
blaming and abusing yourself for not being better able to function.

“No thoughts at all”

Alternatively, you may find that when you’re “depression numb”, you actually experience an
absence of not just emotions, but also thoughts.
Now that we’ve shared with you what “depression numbness” feels like, looks like and sounds
like according to some of the members from our community, in the space below, describe what
“depression numbness” is like for you.

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 What Causes You To Feel “Depression Numb”?

Now that you’ve journalled about what “depression numbness” is like for you, let’s talk a bit
about three common causes of “depression numbness”.

1. Numbness Can Be Your System’s Way Of “Protecting You” From

Pain That It Perceives To Be Unavoidable1

As humans, we have what’s called an autonomic nervous system – the role of which, according
to Deb Dana in her book Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal
Theory, is to “store, conserve and release energy to help us safely move through our daily lives”2.
And, like she also says, our “nervous systems are aware of signs and signals of danger”3. In this
way, you have what can be thought of as an “internal surveillance system”, a “self-protective
circuit” or a “threat detector” that’s continuously determining how safe the situation you’re in
is.

Now, in terms of how it decides how safe the situation you’re in is, your threat detector has
what can be thought of as a “database of past information” – and inside this database are all
of your life experiences (including the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between).
And, automatically and really, really quickly, your threat detector consults this database to
determine whether the situation you’re in is safe, dangerous or life-threatening.

For example, let’s say that you look outside your window and spot a tree. In this instance, your
threat detector will look to your database and think, “trees … what do we know about trees?
Well, I lived in a forest as a kid … trees were safe … I never fell out of a tree, and a tree never
fell on me”. In this very simple example, your threat detector would conclude that you’re
“safe”, and as a result, your nervous system will be in its ventral state4 – i.e. it’s “safe state” –
which is the state associated with being, for example, relaxed, happy, calm, free, interested,
curious, enthusiastic, confident, uplifted, etcetera.

However, let’s say that instead of determining that you’re safe in a given situation, your threat
detector concludes that you’re facing danger. In this instance, your nervous system will be in
its sympathetic state5 – i.e. its “state of mobility” – which is associated with, for example, racing
thoughts, a pounding heart, anxiousness, worry, frustration, anger, fear, panic, stress, tension,
etcetera. This is your system’s way of trying to protect you from the danger it perceives, by
telling you: “there’s no time to relax – you have to do something now! You have to take action
in order to feel safe again!”

Now lastly, let’s say that your threat detector concludes that there’s no way to escape from
the danger – in the sense that there is nothing that can be done to stop you from feeling pain,
and that the situation is completely hopeless. In this case, your system will be in its dorsal state6
– i.e. its “shutdown state” – which is associated with, among other things, being apathetic;
feeling separate from the world; and indeed, feeling numb. This is your system telling you: “I
can’t help you get away from this pain, but what I can do is cloak you in numbness so that you
don't have to feel it. You can leave your body. You can lose contact with your feelings and
completely shut down”.

And, in this way, “depression numbness” can be your system’s way of protecting you as best
as it can from all of depression’s most painful symptoms – such as misery, worthlessness and
hopelessness, for example.

2. Secondly, “Depression Numbness” Can Also Be A Side-Effect Of

Medication7

Additionally, as you may have experienced, even though it can be immensely helpful,
“depression numbness” can also sometimes be a side effect of anti-depressant medication.

3. Lastly, Substance Abuse Can Also Contribute To You Feeling

“Depression Numb”8

When consumed with depression’s crippling, debilitating, seemingly unbearable symptoms, as

you’re likely aware, it’s common for people to attempt to numb them by engaging in substance
abuse.
When did you first start experiencing “depression numbness”? Did it coincide with your
symptoms becoming so severe that your system may have been trying to “protect you” from
them? Alternatively – or as well as – did it coincide with you taking a new medication, and/or
with you heavily engaging in substance abuse?

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 How To Break Out Of “Depression Numbness” That’s
Caused By Your System Shutting Down (In An Attempt
To Protect You From Pain That It Perceives To Be
Unavoidable)

If your system has shut down and cloaked you in numbness in an attempt to protect you from
pain that it perceives to be unavoidable, then in order to break out of “depression numbness”,
you need to show your system that it no longer needs to cloak you in numbness – or to use
another metaphor, that it’s safe for you to come out of hibernation. Broadly speaking, you can
do this by:

• Gradually re-engaging with the world in a safe, gentle, manageable way. The “safe,
gentle, manageable” component of this is extremely important, because if you try to
do “too much, too soon”, then you run the risk of completely overwhelming your
system, and therefore sinking even deeper into shutdown and numbness.

• Additionally, it can really help to show your system that the present situation is not
hopeless, and that actually, there is more hope, light, and/or reasons to be optimistic
than your threat detector is perceiving there to be.

To help you do this, we’re going to share with you a variety of strategies throughout the rest
of this journal.

What About Numbness That’s Caused By Medication And/Or

Substance Abuse?

• If you’re feeling “depression numb” due to a medication that you’re taking, then while
you’ll likely still find the strategies that we’re about to share with you throughout the
rest of this journal helpful, it’s also important that you talk to your doctor – who may
consider, for example, adjusting the dosage of your medication to try to help you feel
less “depression numb”, and/or possibly changing medications altogether.
• Similarly, if you’re feeling “depression numb” as a result of engaging in substance
abuse, then while you’ll also likely find the strategies that we’re about to share with
you helpful, it’s also important that you take steps to stop engaging in substance abuse.
In order to do this, we encourage you to consult with a doctor, psychologist or another
mental health professional.
Before we start sharing with you a variety of strategies to help you break out of “depression
numbness”, in the space below, write down how you currently deal with “depression
numbness”. In particular, do you have any go-to strategies to help you break out of it? Up until
now, what has and hasn’t worked for you?

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What’s A Safe, Comforting, Uplifting Activity You Can Do
That Engages Your Senses?

The first strategy we’d like to share with you to help you break out of “depression numbness”
is to do something that makes you feel safe, comfortable and uplifted while engaging your
senses. Activities such as these:

1. Contribute to you feeling – as the name of course suggests – safe, comfortable and
uplifted;

2. By engaging your senses, they also help you to gently reconnect with the world around
you.

Now, while different activities are effective for different people, some common ones that
members of The Depression Project’s community turn to and recommend when they’re
feeling “depression numb” include:

• Going for a walk amongst nature;

• Listening to your favourite music;

• Having a bubble bath;

• Driving to a restaurant to eat your favourite meal, or to a convenience store to pick up

your favourite soft drink;

• Hugging someone you love or cuddling your pet;

• Doing some gardening;

• Having your morning cup of coffee outside in the sun;

• Picking flowers and displaying them nicely around your home;

• Painting your nails a new colour;

• Playing a musical instrument.

With that being said, please now turn the page and write out your response to this journal’s
next prompt.
What are some activities you find safe, comforting and uplifting that engage your senses?
Which of these activities do you think you could manage when you’re feeling “depression
numb”?

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 What Are Some Other Ways You Can Engage Your
Senses?

In addition to some of the activities that we’ve just mentioned, there are a variety of other
ways that you can engage your senses in a calming, soothing way as well, which can also
support you slowly emerging from a state of numbness. In particular, below we outline a
variety of these methods.

Diaphragmatic Breathing

Diaphragmatic breathing – also at times referred to as “belly breathing” or “deep breathing” –

is a breathing technique which can help you to, among other things:

• Feel more calm, relaxed and at peace9;

• Help you get back in touch with your body, and therefore help your senses begin slowly
coming back to life.

In particular, below are two methods of practicing diaphragmatic breathing that we

recommend.

• Lying down:

o Lie down on your bed (or a flat surface), and put a pillow underneath your legs.

o Rest one hand on your upper chest and the other just below your rib cage (in
order to allow yourself to feel your diaphragm move as you breathe).

o Breathe slowly and deeply in through your nose, and feel your stomach move
out against your “lower hand” beneath your ribs. As you do this, your “upper
hand” on your chest should remain as still as possible.

o As you exhale, tighten your stomach muscles, and breathe out through pursed
lips until there’s nothing left. While you do this, once again ensure that your
“upper hand” remains as still as possible.
 o Repeat this 5 to 10 times.

• Sitting down (more advanced):

o Sit down upright with your knees bent, and with your shoulders and neck
relaxed.

o Place one hand on your upper chest, and the other just beneath your rib cage.
This will allow you to feel your diaphragm move as you breathe.

o Breathe slowly and deeply in through your nose, and feel your stomach move
out against your “lower hand” beneath your ribs. As you do this, your “upper
hand” on your chest should remain as still as possible.

o Tighten your stomach muscles, and allow them to fall inward as you exhale
through pursed lips until there’s nothing left. While you do this, once again
ensure that your “upper hand” remains as still as possible.

o Repeat this 5 to 10 times.

Orienting

This strategy involves using your external environment to re-engage your sense of sight. In
practice, it can take the form of, for example:

• Counting how many objects in the room around you are your favourite colour;

• Seeing how many stars you can count in the sky;

• “Testing your memory” by taking stock of everything that’s around you, closing your
eyes, and then trying to picture your surroundings in your mind in as much detail as
possible.

Touching Something In A Noticeable Way

This could involve, for example, holding an ice cube, wrapping your hands around a hot mug
of coffee, splashing your face with water, or having a sauna.
Aromatherapy

Aromatherapy engages your sense of smell, and could involve, for example, inhaling the scents
of natural plant extracts that are in the form of essential oils, candles, inhalers, bath salts, body
lotions or creams.

Tasting Something Noticeable

This could involve, for example, eating something spicy or sucking on a sour candy.

The 5-4-3-2-1 Mindfulness Exercise

To begin this exercise, sit down or lie somewhere comfortable, and simply take a few deep
breaths … breathing in through your nose … and then out through your mouth … in through
your nose … and then out through your mouth. Then, while you continue to do so, gradually
try to make yourself aware of:

• 5 THINGS YOU CAN SEE: For example, the table in front of you, the nice painting on the
wall, the fridge magnet that your daughter made, the clear blue sky outside, and the
leafy green tree across the road.

• 4 THINGS YOU CAN FEEL: Once you’ve gotten in touch with five things you can see, then
– while you continue breathing in through your nose, and out through your mouth –
try to bring awareness to four things you can feel. For example, the chair that’s holding
up your weight, your clothes against your legs, the soft carpet beneath your feet, or a
loose strand of hair brushing against your face.

• 3 THINGS YOU CAN HEAR: Next, bring awareness to three things you can hear. For
example, the tik-tok of a clock, a bird chirping outside, or the sound of your children
playing in the living room.

• 2 THINGS YOU CAN SMELL: Then, try to get in touch with two things you can smell. If
you try but don’t find yourself able to smell anything, then try to summon up your two
favourite smells. For example, the scent of freshly cut grass, or the aroma of a steaming
mug of hot chocolate.
 • 1 THING YOU CAN TASTE: Lastly, get in touch with one thing you can taste (or can
imagine yourself tasting).

This exercise only takes a few minutes, but it can be really, really effective at grounding you in
the present moment and getting you back in touch with your senses. In fact, it’s such a popular
exercise that when we posted it on our Facebook page in 2018, it went viral – being “shared”
by over 1.5 million people!
Out of the strategies we just shared with you to help you re-engage your senses when you’re
feeling “depression numb”, which appealed to you the most? Could you see yourself turning to
one or more of them when you’re feeling “depression numb”? If so, in what ways?

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 Do You Think You’d Feel Up To Exercising?

Exercise is another popular strategy amongst The Depression Project’s community to break
out of “depression numbness” (particularly exercising while listening to music). This is because
exercise can contribute to you feeling more uplifted and positive, and can therefore help to
offset the misery, feelings of hopelessness and/or any other painful emotions that your body
may be cloaking itself in numbness to protect you from. In fact, exercise can have such a
positive impact on your emotions that it’s been referred to as a “natural antidepressant”10.

In saying that, though, it’s also common for many people to not have the energy to go for a
run, lift weights at the gym, or do any other form of strenuous exercise when they’re struggling
with “depression numbness”. If you can relate, then we instead encourage you to engage in
movement that’s much more gentle and less overwhelming in nature. For example:

• Standing up if you’ve been sitting or lying down all day;

• Stretching;

• Gently swaying from side-to-side;

• Walking up the stairs in your home or to another room and back.

After all, even small movements like this can still have a positive impact, and then when you
feel more up to it, you can gradually start pushing yourself a little bit more.
What forms of movement do you think you’d feel up to engaging in when you’re “depression
numb”? Do you think you could manage to move a bit more than you usually do? If so, in what
ways?

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 Who Could You Connect With?

Connecting with someone who’s safe, supportive, encouraging, uplifting and/or inspiring for
example can also really help you to break out of “depression numbness”. After all, doing so can
– by definition – help you to feel safe, and if you’re connecting with someone who’s supportive,
encouraging and/or uplifting for example, then it can also help your system realise that
actually, there is more hope, light and/or reasons to be optimistic in the present situation than
your threat detector is perceiving there to be.
Do you tend to reach out to other people when you’re “depression numb”? If not, then who
could you perhaps connect with who registers as safe, supportive, encouraging, uplifting,
and/or inspiring? Furthermore, if there’s no-one you feel you could reach out to (or even if there
is), how else could you “engage” with people who register as safe, supportive, encouraging,
uplifting and/or inspiring (for example, could you watch your favourite athlete on TV? Could
you listen to your favourite singer? Etcetera)?

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 What’s Something Hopeful & Uplifting That You Could
Tell Yourself?

When you’re feeling “depression numb”, then like we mentioned towards the beginning of this
journal, it’s common to experience negative thoughts like “what’s the point?” or “nothing’s
ever going to change”. And, if this is the case, then in order to start thinking more hopefully
and to show your system that there are more reasons to be optimistic than your threat
detector is perceiving there to be, you may find it helpful to continuously repeat a positive
affirmation to yourself11. For example:

• “I have a 100% track record of getting through difficult times.”

• “It’s just a bad day, not a bad life.”

• “There’s always light at the end of the tunnel – even if I can’t always see it.”

• “I am capable of more than my mind is telling me I am.”

• “Just because I’m suffering right now, it doesn’t mean that I always will be.”

• “My current struggles are making me stronger for the future.”

• “These times are tough but I am tougher.”

• “Where there’s a will there’s a way.”

When you’re feeling “depression numb”, what are some positive affirmations you could tell
yourself to help you feel more hopeful and uplifted?

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What If You Kept A Look-Out For “Glimmers” And Made
A Point Of Trying To Cultivate Gratitude?

If you’re feeling severely depressed, broken and hopeless and your system has shut down and
cloaked you in numbness as a result, then in order to show your system that there is more
hope, light and/or reasons to be optimistic in the present situation than your threat detector
is perceiving there to be, it can be really helpful to keep a look-out for “glimmers” and to
practice gratitude.

“Finding Glimmers”

In her book Polyvagal Exercises for Safety and Connection, Deb Dana talks about the
importance of looking out for glimmers, which she calls “the micro-moments of vagal
experience that routinely appear in everyday life yet frequently go unnoticed” 12 . These
glimmers may be as simple as, for example:

• The micro-moment of pleasure you feel in the shower when the warm water washes
over your body;

• The small boost you feel after receiving a text message from a friend;

• The enjoyment you receive from eating a tasty meal for dinner;

• Admiring the beauty of the autumn leaves in your local park.

Even when you’re feeling “depression numb”, glimmers can appear, and the more you’re able
to notice and bring awareness to them, the more uplifted you’re likely to feel; the more
connected to the world and your surroundings you’re likely to feel; and as a result, you’re likely
to feel less “depression numb”. For this reason, we encourage you to be on the look-out for
them – such as, like Deb Dana suggests, by setting “an intention to look for a certain number
of glimmers in each day”13.
Practicing Gratitude

Like we often talk about at The Depression Project, practicing gratitude is rich with benefits,
including, among other things:

• Reduced levels of stress14;

• Higher self-esteem15;

• Higher levels of optimism16;

• Improved peace of mind17;

• A willingness to be more helpful18;

• Increased ability to be patient19;

• Strengthened relationships20;

• Higher levels of emotional resiliency21;

• Decreased likelihood of experiencing burnout22;

• Reduced rumination23;

• Improved quality of sleep24;

• Improved physical health25;

• Reductions in depression and anxiety26;

• Improved life satisfaction27.

Thanks to all of these benefits, practicing gratitude can really help you to break out of
“depression numbness”. However, in saying that, sceptics of practicing gratitude might argue
that you can’t do so when you’re feeling “depression numb” – because when your system has
shut down and you’re feeling disconnected and out of touch with everything, then you can’t
possibly have the emotional capacity to do a gratitude exercise.

At The Depression Project, we respectfully disagree, however:

 1. We do believe that certain gratitude exercises which require less emotional capacity
are more appropriate for when you’re feeling “depression numb” than other ones
which require a higher mental capacity.

2. We also believe that even these “easier” gratitude exercises should be done in a way
which take into account what you’re currently experiencing.

And, with that in mind, let us now share with you some simple yet powerful gratitude exercises
that we think you might find helpful when you’re “depression numb”.

Gratitude Exercise #1: Write A List Of All The Things You’re Grateful
For (“‘Depression Numbness’ Edition”)

The notion of making a list of all the things you’re grateful for is one of the most well-known
gratitude practices there is – however, it can be difficult to connect to a lot of the things you
would otherwise be grateful for when you’re feeling “depression numb”.

For this reason, when you’re feeling “depression numb”, you’ll likely find this exercise most
helpful if you focus your list of “things to feel grateful for” on what you can best connect to at
that moment in time. For example:

• The couch you’re lying on – which is a comfortable place for you to curl up when you’re
feeling exhausted and broken and you just want somewhere to rest;

• Movies on your laptop – which you can watch any time you want to distract yourself;

• The creamy mug of hot chocolate you’re going to drink while you watch your favourite
show;

• Food delivery services – which mean that instead of having to cook when you’re feeling
so exhausted, you can have a delicious meal delivered straight to your door;

• Your partner – who’s always so sweet, loving and caring towards you;

• Your best friend – who you know will always be there for you as well;
 • Self-help books and/or other resources like this journal – which are teaching you the
strategies you need to know in order to break out of “depression numbness”, so that
you won’t have to live like this forever.

Of course, not all of these examples may apply to you, but if you’re able to come up with your
own list of things to feel grateful for when you’re “depression numb”, then it will almost
certainly give you a lift.

Gratitude Exercise #2: Keep A Gratitude Journal

The idea behind this is pretty simple: every night before you go to sleep, write down three
things that you’re grateful for that day. An example of what this might look like when you’re
feeling “depression numb” could be:

• “I’m grateful for my dog – who loyally lay down beside me next to my bed until I could
gather the strength to pull myself out of it.”

• “I’m grateful for my brother – who messaged me to see how I’m feeling, and did his best
to try to reassure and encourage me.”

• “I’m grateful for my favourite sit-com – which gave me a sense of safety and served as
a positive distraction from my pain.”

Keeping a gratitude journal like so is a great exercise when you’re “depression numb”, because
it’s relatively easy to do and can really help you find light in your darkest times when you need
it most.

Gratitude Exercise #3: Keep A “Gratitude Jar”

A “gratitude jar” is a fun kind of spin on a gratitude journal, and is another simple yet effective
exercise you can try to cultivate gratitude and give yourself a much-needed boost when you’re
“depression numb”.

All you need to do is this: place a jar (or a box, or a bowl, etcetera) somewhere that’s easily
accessible, and any time you feel grateful for something (such as your dog loyally sleeping
beside you, your brother messaging to check on you, etcetera), write that something down on
a little piece of paper, and then pop it into your gratitude jar.

Just like when it came to keeping a gratitude journal, we encourage you to aim to drop in three
little pieces of paper a day. If you can do this, then your gratitude jar will gradually fill up, and
then any time you’re feeling “depression numb”, you can take out your little notes and read
them over to give yourself a lift.

Gratitude Exercise #4: Make A Gratitude Collage

For this exercise, find some pictures of the things you’re grateful for, and then – as the name
suggests – make a collage out of them. Some pictures you might like to include in your collage
may be, for example:

• Pictures of your family;

• Pictures from previous vacations you’ve taken;

• Pictures of your favourite food;

• Pictures from momentous days in your life;

• Pictures of different things you enjoy.

Moving forwards, how could you keep a look-out for glimmers as well as cultivate more
gratitude throughout your day?

NOTE: Even when you aren’t “depression numb”, we still encourage you to keep a look-out for glimmers and to
practice gratitude. After all, not only will this likely result in many of the previous benefits we’ve mentioned, but
the more practice you get keeping a look-out for glimmers and cultivating gratitude, then the easier you’ll likely
find doing so when you’re “depression numb” and finding it more difficult to function at your usual capacity.

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 In What Ways Could You Be Kinder To Yourself?

As you may have experienced, when you’re shaming, blaming and criticising yourself, you’re
more likely to stay trapped in “depression numbness”. However, if you instead try to be kind
and compassionate with yourself, then you give yourself a better chance of being able to
emerge from it.

In particular, below are a few different ways you can do this when you’re feeling “depression
numb”.

Firstly, Try Your Best Not To Shame Yourself For Any Of The Common
“Consequences Of What You’re Going Through”

Like we’ve touched upon, when you’re “depression numb”, it’s extremely common to, for
example:

• Feel too exhausted to be able to do the things that you ordinarily would (such as doing
your chores or taking care of your personal hygiene, for example);

• Be unable to be the person that you want to be in your relationships (for example,
because you find it too difficult to engage with others);

• Struggle to work up to your potential (or work at all);

• Engage in self-sabotaging behaviours (such as self-harming, for example);

• Be more forgetful than you would otherwise be.

As you may be able to relate to, all of the above are common sources of shame and self-
criticism. However, rather than shaming and criticising yourself, try to instead offer yourself
self-compassion, by:

• Reminding yourself that these “consequences of what you’re going through” are
indeed just that – consequences of what you’re going through – as opposed to being a
negative reflection of who you are as a person.
 • Don’t hold yourself to the same standards when you’re “depression numb” / being
crippled by depression as you would when you’re not “depression numb” / being
crippled by depression. After all, given everything you’re going through, it isn’t being
fair to yourself to expect that you’ll be able to function anywhere near “at your best”,
anywhere near as well as you would if you weren’t going through so much, or anywhere
near as well as somebody else who isn’t currently going through so much. Therefore,
we really encourage you to adjust your expectations of yourself, and instead hold
yourself to standards that rather than completely dismissing everything you’re going
through when you’re “depression numb” / being crippled by depression, actually take
it into account.

Secondly, Congratulate Yourself For Doing The “Little Things” When

You’re “Depression Numb”

Like we’ve mentioned, when you’re “depression numb”, it can be really difficult to do the “little
things” – such as doing your chores or taking care of your personal hygiene, for example.
Consequently, rather than shaming and criticising yourself any time you don’t manage to do
the “little things”, we encourage you to instead congratulate yourself any time you do manage
to do them. In particular, when you’re “depression numb”, we really encourage you to make a
point of congratulating yourself when you, for example:

• Get out of bed;

• Have a shower;

• Brush your hair;

• Tick something off your to-do list;

• Go for a walk;

• Do the grocery shopping;

• Cook a meal;

• Do the dishes;
 • Do the laundry;

• Go to work;

• Shave;

• Brush your teeth;

• Reach out to a friend;

• Change your clothes;

• Respond to messages;

• Collect your mail;

• Survive another day.

After all, given everything you’re going through when you’re “depression numb” and how
completely and utterly exhausted it’s common to feel, you really do deserve to give yourself a
pat on the back whenever you complete any one of these tasks! And, if you recognise this and
make a point of congratulating yourself for doing the “little things” like so, it really can help
you to combat negative self-talk and feelings of shame, help you to feel more uplifted and
positive, and ultimately help you to break out of “depression numbness”.

Thirdly, Consider What You Would Think If The “Shoe Was On The
Other Foot”

Another strategy you can implement to be more self-compassionate when you’re “depression
numb” – or at any time for that matter – is to ask yourself a question that’s routed in cognitive
behavioural therapy28:

“If a loved one was in my position, would I be thinking the same negative, critical things about
them that I’m currently thinking about myself?”

Asking yourself this question can be extremely powerful, because it has the effect of distancing
you from any negative self-talk you’re engaging in, and looking at what you’re telling yourself
from a different, more objective angle. And, when you do this, you'll often realise that you’re
being really, really hard on yourself.
Do you shame and criticise yourself for any of the “consequences of what you’re going through”
when you feel “depression numb”? If so, in what ways? And, if a loved one was in your shoes,
would you think the same shame-fuelled, critical things about them that you think about
yourself? If not, then what does this tell you about the way you’re viewing yourself?

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Do you hold yourself to the same standards when you’re “depression numb” / being crippled by
depression as you would when you’re not “depression numb” / being crippled by depression? If
so, then what are some fairer standards you could hold yourself to that rather than completely
dismiss everything you’re going through when you’re “depression numb” / being crippled by
depression, actually take it into account?

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When you’re “depression numb”, what do you find difficult and challenging to do? Make a list
of all of these actions, tasks and activities below, and then any time you complete one of them
when you’re feeling “depression numb”, take a moment to congratulate yourself for it.

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 What Are Some Of The Difficult Times You’ve Gotten
Through In The Past?
[TRIGGER WARNING: Please skip this exercise if you don’t feel comfortable revisiting any
difficult / traumatic times you’ve previously been through]

Like we’ve talked about, “depression numbness” can often be a response to feeling as if the
situation you’re in is hopeless, and that there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. And, if this is
the case, then if you feel comfortable doing so, we encourage you to remind yourself of all the
difficult times that you’ve gotten through in the past. Doing so can help you to feel more
hopeful, and can make it easier to see that even though it may not feel possible to survive the
challenging times you’re facing right now, that in the end, you will indeed make it through
them.

In particular, one way of doing this is to practice the following mindfulness exercise.

A Mindfulness Exercise To Remind Yourself Of How Strong You Are

Start by sitting or lying in a comfortable position, and take slow, deep, soothing breaths.

Then, think back to a previous time in your life that was hard – one that in the moment in
question, you doubted whether you’d ever be able to survive it. As you continue to take slow,
deep, soothing breaths, take a moment to then acknowledge that you did indeed make it
through that challenging time. Take a moment to acknowledge how strong this makes you, and
how it proves that you’re resilient and capable in the face of adversity.

Then, remind yourself that you are still that same strong, capable person, and that just how
you were able to get through that previous difficult time when you didn’t think you could, you’ll
be able to get through this difficult time, too. A helpful way of reminding yourself of this is to
repeat the following positive affirmation to yourself like a mantra:

“I was strong enough to get through that, and therefore, I can get through this too…”

“I was strong enough to get through that, and therefore, I can get through this too…”
“I was strong enough to get through that, and therefore, I can get through this too…”

Then, when you feel ready to, release this memory from your focus, and choose another
challenging time from your life to bring awareness to. Repeat the same process for that
incident as well, and continue doing so for as many past challenges as you’d like.
What are some difficult times you’ve gotten through in the past, that in the moment, you
weren’t sure whether you’d be able to make it through them?

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After Answering All Of The Prompts In This Journal, How
Confident And Empowered Do You Feel Now To Be Able
To Break Out Of “Depression Numbness”?

Remember at the start of this journal, when we asked you to write down, as a score out of 100,
how confident and empowered you feel to be able to break out of “depression numbness”?

Well, now that you’ve answered all of the prompts in this journal, we’d like you to answer this
question again!

Before completing this journal, as a score out of 100, I rated how

confident and empowered I felt to be able to break out of
“depression numbness” a ____/100. But, now that I’ve completed
this journal, I rate how confident and empowered I feel to be able to
break out of “depression numbness” a ____/100.

Our guess is that right now, you feel more confident and empowered to be able to break out
of “depression numbness” than you did beforehand.

For example, if you previously gave yourself a rating of 0/100, then maybe now, your rating is
25/100.

If you gave yourself a rating of 25/100 beforehand, then maybe now, your rating is 50/100.

If you gave yourself a rating of 50/100 beforehand, then maybe now, your rating is 80/100.

If this is the case – even if your rating has only increased a little bit – then it’s a very positive
step in the right direction to breaking out of “depression numbness”. And, the more and more
you read back through this journal and practice the strategies we’ve talked about anytime you
do feel “depression numb”, then the more and more your rating is likely to increase, and as a
result:

• The less and less numb you’re likely to feel;

• The more and more you’ll be able to get back to experiencing joy and pleasure from
the things that you usually like doing;

• The more and more you’ll be able to think clearer and function more effectively;

• The better and better position you’ll be in to take the steps you need to take in order
to treat your depression.

We believe in you, our friend, and moving forwards, we wish you the very, very, very best!

All our love,

The Depression Project Team.

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