The Rules of The Scrambler Transcription

Bobby: All right, so we've got the ... and we're going to go through these fairly quick, but these
are just the general rules of the scrambler, and it's things you want to keep in mind, it's
things you want to review when you start going through it, it's kind of like a, like I said, a
lot of this is about baseline, something to come back to, review. And these are like really
quick 10 things to just glance at and just try to remember ... just look at it and just say,
"Okay," like make that be your smack in your face.

Speaker 2: Like when you're in heat, this is a nice reminder. And I actually use these even to this
day because of the fact that it's just an encapsulation of what you need to remind
yourself.

Bobby: So rule number one, she's not different. I mean, it's self explanatory, but it is the
number one problem guys run into, I've seen it ... every guy thinks his situation is
different, she's different, she's not that type of girl, she's a good girl, she's ... and it's not
going to work on her.

Speaker 2: What do you used to call it, the dickless virgin?

Bobby: Yeah, yeah-

Speaker 2: Bobby had [inaudible 00:01:12] we did a video once, and I guess we were adlibbing or
whatever, we drank a couple beers, and Bobby said, "She's not ... don't listen to that
dickless virgin whispering in your ear." And I've had that dickless virgin in my ear saying,
"She's different, she's unique, you've got to play it differently, all the stuff you know
works," and you can't do that because all ... what you're really saying to yourself is, "I
want to go back to doing what feels normal," but doing what feels normal, it's the
opposite of the counterintuitive, it's leaning away from the punch, it's trying to ... when
you go into a skid to try to turn the wheel the other way. You have to remind yourself of
that because it's crucial.

Bobby: And we repeated rule number two, she's not different. And just to add on to that
concept is a lot of guys think she's a good girl, she's a nice girl. Keep this in mind, it
works best on those type of girls and here's why. Because if she comes across as a nice
girl, a good girl, every guy is going to come at her from the same perspective you want
to come at her with, as the gentleman, the nice guy, the good guy, because she gives off
that vibe. So you come in with that same vibe that every single other guy gives off. So
when you come at that good girl with the different vibe that most other guys are too
intimidated by, or they talk themselves out of doing it, you are so refreshing to her. I
mean, I've seen it over and over where I'd be like working with a girl, or just even a

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 female friend of mine or something, and some guy would come along and she would be
the good girl in my mind, and some guy would come along, just fucking sweep her away
and she would just hook, line, and sinker, just fall for everything this guy's doing.

And it's because it's different to her, and you really want to realize that. The fact that
she is a good girl actually makes it more of a reason to do it, because it will be more of
an exciting experience for her, because she's not going to be as used to it.

Speaker 2: Yeah, more unpredictable, yeah.

Bobby: Rule number three, everything must be implied and subtle.

Speaker 2: Yeah, this is key because a lot of the times when we teach this material and guys come
back at us with examples, they say, "Oh, I tried this," the problem with a lot of it is that
it's too obvious, it's too ... did anyone ever take a screenwriting class? I see a couple
heads shaking, you hear the term "on the nose", they use it in like ... yeah. So on the
nose is basically when a screenwriter writes and it's so predictable, it's so obvious, that
it's not interesting and not exciting. And the thing is that a lot of times some of these
guys will be like, "Oh well, I did this thing," and we'll give examples of it when we get
into the rules and all that, but you want to be subtle.

For instance, and just a quick example, me and Bobby were talking about this the other
day, we were talking on the phone, right. And one of the things I remember that you
want to do is that you want to ... at some point maybe you want to validate a girl's
intelligence, that's something that again we're going to get to why you're going to want
to do that later one, but just as an example. And the way a lot of guys would do it would
be like, "Oh, I really like that you're smart," or, "I really like that you went to a good
school." The subtle way to do it, the way I do this is that I'll say to a girl, "Hey, I just
finished this book and I need a good book recommendation, what's the last book you
read or what's a good book to read?" And the reason that that works is because I'm
complimenting her, I'm telling her, "Hey, I respect your intelligence," but I'm being
subtle about it. I'm not being super obvious, super transparent.

So that's one analogy, and we're going to be coming back to this idea of not being too
obvious, to make it implied, to make it subtle, to be like I said, you want to be that ...
like the surface level's here, and you want to be just below it. So it's really important to
really make this work as effectively and as efficiently as possible, the scrambler works
best when it's implied and subtle.

Bobby: Yeah, quick example, you might've heard Rob's ... if your goal is to get a girl jealous, and
you're on Facebook, and you're going to post a picture, right? The obvious thing is a
picture of you and a hot chick, right? And that's like the girl kind of knows what you're
doing, everybody kind of knows [inaudible 00:05:14]. But the non obvious kind of post
that we've recommended to guys is like his post of like a beer and an appletini, and like,
"Fun night", and the thing fun night without posting the girl, because that's subtle. Then
the girl's like who is he with? She can kind of guess that it's probably not me drinking the
appletini, he's probably out with like-

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Speaker 2: Like how many guys, how many of your buddies are going to order an appletini? It's like
obvious. But also you have deniability. You're not actually showing the girl. You're not
really saying anything, you're saying, "Fun night." Beer and appletini. You do the math.
There's no numbers involved, but you get it. So that's so much what it's about because
what Bobby said before about the gray area, right, putting that girl in that gray area
where she's not sure, where she's trying to figure things out, you need to show a hot
chick, I don't care how hot she is, that narrative is very obvious. It's very on the nose.
But the two drinks, now there's ... the wheels are turning, and I've done that to girls
where they even told me that they would start looking ... they would look at the
restaurant, click on it, and start seeing other people that checked in hoping to catch a
glimpse of maybe where I was sitting.

And if a girl's doing that, what's happening that whole time when she's investing that
mental effort? She's becoming more attracted, right? She's becoming more invested in
you, in your relationship. And that's the whole basis of the scrambler.

Bobby: So yeah, so as a rule you want to think when you're about to ... and we go through these
rules, they're really just mental checklists. What I'm about to do, is it implied and subtle,
or is it going to be obvious? You just want to think that.

Number four, never explain yourself. This one, the reason I added this, this was from
working with clients, is what I've found is that a lot of times when guys ... pull away, or
they act differently, the woman will, "Why are you doing this?" Or they'll get upset. And
then guy will immediately use her as the reason he's doing it. So he may say, "Well, I
thought this was what you wanted, I'm doing this because you told me you wanted
space." And the minute you start explaining something, what you're doing, you're
making it about her. And the minute you make it about her, she then knows that she
still has that power over you. So you never want to explain yourself, you always ... like if
she's questioning you, just stay vague, stay ... because explaining yourself is essentially
giving her back ... like it's-

Speaker 2: It's taking her out of the gray area.

Bobby: It's ending the mystery.

Speaker 2: Yeah, taking her out of the gray area.

Bobby: And we'll go into these things, like I said, these are the rules to review. Talk about it with
no one. Again a rule because-

Speaker 2: A Fight Club rule.

Bobby: You might think that like her friend is on your side and you're going to strategize with
her friend, but I can tell you that her friend is going back and telling her everything
you're telling her, I can't tell you how many guys are like, "Yeah, I'm in good with her
friend and her friend's telling me ... " I'm like, her friend is ... I can bet you a million
dollars her friend is going back and telling her exactly what you guys are talking about.

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 You can't trust anyone. Even your friends, like don't ... you can share things, but you
never want to say, "I'm doing this because it's ... " If you're canceling plans on her, don't
tell anybody because the minute somebody just says, "Oh, he just did that because he's
playing the game," everything you worked for, it no longer matters. She starts
everything you're doing through those eyes. And even if you're not doing something to
play the game, she's just going to assume you are, because if she knows what you're
doing then she starts seeing everything you're doing as just, "Oh, he's just doing this to
play a game." Which then makes it about her, and anytime you're making it about her,
it's not effective.

Speaker 2: And it's predictable, too.

Bobby: It's predictable.

Speaker 2: Because she understands that, "Oh, he's not doing this because ... from autonomy, he's
doing it because he's trying to get a reaction." Which makes it not autonomous.

Bobby: We won't dive too far into this one, again, because we've talked about it, once a girl
knows she has you, it's over. But it's something you want to remember, it's just
something that it's like ... at any point, wherever you are, because I get a lot of guys who
go, "At what point can I let her know she has me?" And there's always got to be some
level of doubt. I told you earlier, I'm here on a vacation, there's some level ... there
always has to be some level of the next ... like the minute they just know they friggin'
have you, some women will stick around, but normally they're just not the ones you
want to be ... they're the ones that like to boss guys around, they're the ones that ... I
have clients who they get out of ... married and they're divorced at 50 and they feel
liberated because they had a wife who just really ran them down, and you don't want
that kind of woman. So you want to avoid-

Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. So there's nothing you could say to make a girl want to come back, only things
that make her not want to come back. And yeah, this is great, because the idea is that-

Bobby: From the famous movie, Swingers, classic line, you guys see Swingers? But that line in
that movie is so true.

Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so true because of the fact that ... by trying to convince her logically to come
back, it's never going ... in fact, it actually does the opposite. By trying to convince her,
by trying to ... because look, there's two types of ways to speak to women. You speak to
women on an emotional level, or you speak to them on a logical level. And the only way
to get a woman attracted to you, to make her want you, to make her value your
attention, is to be speaking on that emotional level. But again, it goes back to that other
rule. When you're speaking on an emotional level, it can't be obvious, it has to be
subtle. So anything that you state directly, it's usually going to have the exact opposite
effect.

Bobby: Yeah, so ... that's really there, when you're in emotional quicksand and you're trying to
get a girl back, I get guys, "What's the text I can send?"

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

Bobby: There's nothing you're going to ... when she's leaving, the best thing you can do, and I
always say in some ways I'm glad things worked out the way they did for me, and if I can
play God and go back and redo certain moments of my life I probably wouldn't even ...
but mentally you look back and you're like, "Oh man, all's I would have had to do in that
moment, when started pulling away, we just pull away myself." And I would see it work,
because it's just like you pull away and then she comes forward. You go that way and
she goes back away. And you can look back and see how effective that is. There's
nothing ... if you start begging, start asking, start telling her things are going to be
different, I'm sorry I was so needy, whatever it is, it's not going to work. At that point,
you just kind of have to ... walk away.

Speaker 2: Yeah, cut your losses. It's like in gambling, chasing the loss. You don't want to be chasing
the loss, when you start losing, you just get up from the table and say, "Hey, I'll come
back later."

Bobby: Yeah. Rule number eight, be willing to play dirty.

Speaker 2: Yeah, this is key, this is one of the first ... when we were originally developing the
scrambler we kind of brainstormed with some different ideas and different things that
we were talking about. The idea of playing dirty, it's a necessity. At the end of the day,
what we're going to be teaching you, or what we call playing dirty, it's you have to be
willing to add that polish to your personality, you have to be willing to do stuff that you
technically might not feel totally like oh, this is the right thing to do. But again, it's the
skid example, it's a kickboxing example. You might feel like you're playing dirty, but
what you're actually doing is you're making the right moves because you know they're
the right moves.

Bobby: Yep. Indifference is your enemy, not anger, I mentioned that earlier. When you're doing
the scrambler, or any type of emotional response out of a woman, indifference is the
worst thing you're getting. Like if you're getting indifference, it's really, really, really
hard to turn things around. If you're getting anger, it's very, very easy to turn things
around.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Bobby: And so many guys fear anger way more than they fear indifference, and when I'm
coaching them and I tell them to do something and they come and say, "Well, she might
get mad at me," and the way that I say it is like, how often is a girl mad at ... I hate the
term, but a bad boy, right? How often goes a girl get mad at the guys that we call bad
buys, or jerks, or players? Pretty often, right? How often does she have sex with these
guys? Pretty often. Like there's no correlation between anger and lack of sex. But there's
a big correlation between indifference and lack of sex. If a girl's indifferent to you, then
you have a problem, and then it's like, okay, but anger is never something to be feared.
So just keep that in mind.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and again, we're not encouraging negative emotions, but like Bobby said, the
point is is that negative emotions are better than indifference.

Bobby: Number 10, and the final rule is be willing to walk away. Again, I'm not going to dig into
this because we already talked about it, but these rules are just there to remind you
what's really crucial here.

So the goal of the scrambler. The objective of the scrambler is to use psychological
tension to get her thinking about you, mentally take up more and more space in her
mind, have her attach emotional desires to you, and then, and this is really one of the
most important elements, is to capitalize on that desire and bring it to a physical
intimacy level fast. You can look at this scrambler and everything we're going to go
through, the reason we call it a mind game in the marketing for it, is because it really is.
You're playing a game where you're getting her confused, you're opening up a window
of opportunity. And that window of opportunity will only be open for so long. So if you
do this and you go into like I'm going to keep doing it because a lot of times it is fun to
do, because all the sudden a girl that might not have been paying too much attention to
you is all the sudden ... now she's putting an effort. But that effort will wear off if you
don't bring it to a physical level very fast.

So part of it, and the reason why we do it, and it's very important to do it in five phases
that we're going to go through, is because you're going to open up a window with a
woman, and you want to capitalize on that window fast. And when you look at the steps
that we're going to go through in a minute, the steps open the window. And I always tell
my students, we can ... I can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink. We
can get that window open, but I can't make you kiss her, I can't make you take it to the
next level. You ultimately have to have the perception of saying now is the time, I'm
sensing it, I have to make my move now. And if you don't, that window closes back and
it's like the effort to get that window back open again when it's closed, it's difficult, so
you really want to capitalize on what you're able to create through this relatively fast.

So the five phases.

Speaker 2: Yeah, the five phases of the scrambler, and now we're going to get into the real nuts
and bolts of this course. The first phase, it's a reconnaissance phase, second phase, it's
all about rebalancing the power in the relationship. The third phase, it's about
validation, and we're going to explain the healthy types of validation, because and I
think a lot of guys are going to like it, especially the guys who consider themselves nice
guys, because validation is a good thing, but when done the right way. Phase four, it's a
phase that is ... this is really Bobby's brainchild, what he calls dissidence, and I was a
little confused about it when I first heard it, too, but Bobby explains it. His take on this is
very interesting.

And the fifth and final phase is intimacy. Just like Bobby said, every romantic sexual
relationship has to be moved to that physical level, otherwise you're just spinning your
wheels, otherwise you're just playing this mental chess game. The whole point of this
course is to get you to that point where you and that woman, you and that hard to get
girl are in a relationship that is not only mutually fulfilling, but it's also an actual

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 relationship, it's symbolized be sex, it's symbolized by the fact that you guys are
together. And as we're going to discuss when we get to that phase, it's not only about
sex, and it's not immediately about sex, but it has to escalate to that physical level, so ...

Bobby: Yeah, hold on a second, yeah. The way you can think of it, right, is like fire needs heat,
fuel, and oxygen. And when you look at like a girl falling for you, it's sort of similar. You
need the emotional intensity, you need validation, and you need oxygen, and oxygen is
physical intimacy. Because no matter what she's feeling towards you, if it doesn't get to
the intimacy level, it fizzles out. And if you've wound up in a friend zone, that's what
happens. Like if you can look back and go, "She was totally into me and now it's just not
happening," it's because you didn't take it ... and it gets to a certain point where it fizzles
out, and girls almost resent it, and we'll get into that.

But to give you a broad walkthrough through these phases, reconnaissance, you may
not have heard that, the idea of that is understanding how a woman currently perceives
you. And then altering that perception to give her the feeling that she doesn't really
know as much as she thought you did, that's going to be phase one. Phase two is
rebalance, which is where you subtlely tip the balance of power in your favor, right. But
the thing is, you need phase one to do that. If you just start to try to act differently
without what we're going to talk about in terms of giving her the feeling like she didn't
really know you, it's going to come across as phony, fake, it's not going to work.

Phase three is validation, which is all about making her feel special, making her feel
unique, but always making her want more of that. There always has to be a desire for
more validation, it can never be complete. That's why it involves temporarily
withholding it, and using it, and making your rewards unpredictable, everything we're
going to get through. Dissidence is about using a variety of different emotions to take up
more and more space in her mind. And we said here, if you can get a girl thinking about
you when you're not around, you can make her fall in love with you. If you validated her,
if you have some power and now you're doing this, the more she's thinking about you
the easier and easier it's becoming, because we associate that, naturally, with like ...
when you ask somebody, a guy, I'm like, "How do you know you're in love with her?"
He's like, "I can't stop thinking about her." That's really what we associate with with
love, is the mental space somebody takes up in our mind. So if you can get her taking up
more and more mental space, she's taking up that space and thinking about you, it's
very easy to then get it to that next level. Intimacy, that's common sense, but we'll get
to that.

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