«“ writer is not someone who expresses his thoughts, his passion, or his imagination in sentences but someone who thinks sentences.” Roland Barthes SENTENCES Sentences are basic to written communication. A well-chosen word or phrase can do the job of expressing a complete thought, but a solid sentence is still your best bet for getting a point across. This is true in e-mail messages, writing assignments, business letters, notes to friends, applications, and so on. You can learn the most about writing effective sentences by reading lots of them—in books, magazines, and newspapers, and on the Internet. Then you have to practice by writing regularly in a variety of forms (not all of them formal). This chapter provides guidelines for writing effective sentences that say what you mean to say. (See pages 518-528 for more on sentences.) Preview © Understanding the Basics © Writing Complete and Clear Sentences © Writing Natural and Acceptable Sentences © Combining Sentences © Modeling Sentences © Expanding Sentences © Sentence-Writing Tipswriting Sentences Understanding the Basics Simple sentences in the English language follow five basic (See pages 524-525 for more information.) Patterns Subject + Verb -sa4rV4 Naomie winked. Some verbs like winket a direct object to express a comp! d are intransitive. Intransitive verbs do not ete thought. (See 507.2.) need Subject + Verb + Direct Object rsarVar-P0-4 Harris grinds his teeth. Some verbs like grinds are transitive. Transitive verbs do need a direct object to express a complete thought. (See 508.1.) Subject + Verb + Indirect Object + Direct Object 84 r-V4r—l04 ro Elena offered her friend an anchovy. The direct object names who or what receives the actio: the indirect object names to whom or for whom the action was don: Subject + Verb + Direct Object + Object Complement 8 V7 DO -——_ 00> Room 222 named Ravi the class Web master. The object complement renames or describes the direct object. Subject + Linking Verb + Predicate Noun (or Predicate Adjective) -S4lLvp—PN— -S4LV;-—PA — Paula is a math whiz. Paula is very intelligent. A linking verb connects the subject to the predicate noun or predicate adjective. The predicate noun renames the subject; the predicate adjective describes the subject. Inverted Order In the sentence patterns above, the subject comes before the verb. In# few types of sentences, such as those below, the subject comes after the verb. IVS PN Is Larisa a poet? (A question) lv >—s— There was a meeting. (A sentence beginning with “there”)WOHTUNG selene “To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil, you’re overdoing it.” —J. Jenkins Writing Complete Sentences By definition, a complete sentence expresses complete thought and contains both a subject and a predicate. Several ideas, not just one, may cone up this complete thought. ‘The trick is getting those ideas to work together in a clear, interesting sentence that expresses your exact meaning. ‘The most common sentence errors are fragments, comma splices, rambling sentences, and run-ons. Fragment @A fragment is a group of words used as a sentence. It is not a sentence, though, because it lacks a subject, a verb, or some other essen- tial part. Because of the missing part, the thought is incomplete. Fragment: Lettuce all over the table. (This fragment lacks a verb.) Sentence: Lettuce flew all over the table. When Herbie tossed the salad. (This fragment has a subject and verb, but it does not convey 2 complete thought. We need to know what happened “when Herbie tossed the salad.”) When Herbie tossed the salad, lettuce flew all over the table. Fragment: Sentence: Fragment: Laughing and scooping up a pile of lettuce. Kate remarked, “Now, that's what | call a tossed salad!” (The fragment is followed by a complete sentence. This fragment, a participial phrase, can be combined with the sentence to form a complete thought.) Sentence: Laughing and scooping up a pile of lettuce, Kate remarked, “Now, that's what | call 2 tossed salad!” to use fragments? iJ Is it ever acceptable ; is en, hen. you have gs For example, single words oF 5 e a dramatic effect. In fe of, phrases set off as sentences can hav her articles, writer Anna Quindlan uses the following three frag- ments to dramatize the problems facing urban youths: “Teenage mothers. child abuse: crowded schools” He You can also use fragments when you write dialogue because people often use incomplete thoughts when they talk. “Hey, Rico. My house? / wyeah, right. on Tues’ c “Whatever”RP Writing Sentences Comma Splice @ A comma splice results when two independent cla are connected (“spliced”) with only a comma. The comma is not enoy ie period, a semicolon, or a conjunction is needed. (Note: An independ! clause presents a complete thought and can stand alone as a sentence, ya ad been waiting in the hot sun for two hours, Splice: The concertgoers hi g to show their impatience by chanting ang many were beginnin; clapping. Corrected: The concertgoers had been waiting in the hot sun for two hours, and many were beginning to show their impatience by chanting and clapping. (A coordinating conjunction has been added.) Corrected: The concertgoers had been waiting in the hot sun for two hours; many were beginning to show their impatience by chanting ang” clapping. (A comma has been changed to a semicolon.) A rambling sentence seems to go on and on in a y and’s.) To correct this error, and reword different parts Rambling Sentence @ monotonous fashion (often because of too man, remove some of the and’s, fix the punctuation, if it results in a better passage. Rambling: The intruder entered through the window and tiptoed down the hall and stood under the stairwell and waited in the shadows. Corrected: The intruder entered through the window. He tiptoed down the hall and stood under the stairwell, waiting in the shadows. The intruder, who had entered through the window, tiptoed down the hall, He stood under the stairwell and waited in the shadows. Corrected: Run-On Sentence @ A run-on is two (or more) sentences joined without adequate punctuation or a connecting word. Run-on: | thought the ride would never end my eyes were crossed, and my fingers were numb. Corrected: | thought the ride would never end. My eyes were crossed, and my fingers were numb.Writing Sentences “jf any man wishes to write in a clear style, let him first be clear in his thoughts.” —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Writing Clear Sentences Nothing is more frustrating for readers than writing that has to be reread just to understand its basic meaning. Look carefully at the common errors that follow. Do you recognize any of them as errors you sometimes make in your own writing? If so, use this section as a checklist when you revise. Conquering these errors will help to make your writing clear and readable. Incomplete Comparison © An incomplete comparison is the result of leaving out a word or words that are necessary to show exactly what is being compared to what. Incomplete: | get along with Rosa better than my sister. (Do you mean that you get along with Rosa better than you get along with your sister . . . or that you get along with Rosa better than your sister does?) Clear: | get along with Rosa better than my sister does. Ambiguous Wording © Ambiguous wording is wording that is unclear because it has two or more possible meanings. Ambiguous: Mike decided to take his new convertible to the drive-in movie, which turned out to be a real horror story. (What turned out to be a real horror story—Mike’s taking his new convertible to the drive-in, or the movie?) Clear: Mike decided to take his new convertible to the drive-in movie, a decision that turned out to be a real horror story. Indefinite Reference @ An indefinite reference is a problem caused by careless use of pronouns. As a result, readers are not sure who or what the pronoun(s) is referring to. Indefinite: In To Kill a Mockingbird, she describes the problems faced by Atticus Finch and his family. (Who is she?) +: In To Kill a Mockingbird, the author, Harper Lee, describes the problems faced by Atticus Finch and his family. Indefinite: As he pulled his car up to the service window, It made a strange rattling sound. (Which rattled, the car or the window?) Clear: His car made a strange rattling sound as he pulled up to the service window. Cle: 85Writing Sentences Misplaced Modifiers @ Misplaced modifiers are modifiers that haye been placed incorrectly; therefore, the meaning of the sentence is not clear. (Modifiers should be placed as close as possible to the word they modify," Misplaced: We have an assortment of combs for physically active people with unbreakable teeth. (People with unbreakable teeth?) Corrected: For physically active people, we have an assortment of combs with unbreakable teeth. (Corrected by rearranging the sentence.) We have an assortment of combs for physically active people with unbreakable teeth. Dangling Modifiers © Dangling modifiers are modifiers that appear to modify the wrong word or a word that isn’t in the sentence. Dangling: Trying desperately to get under the fence, Paul’s mother called him. (The phrase trying desperately to get under the fence appears to modify Paul’s mother.) Corrected: Trying desperately to get under the fence, Paul heard his mother call him. (Corrected by rewording and adding Paul, the person being referred to by the modifier.) Dangling: After standing in line for five hours, the manager announ' “that all the tickets had been sold, (In this sentence, it appears as if the manager had b standing in line for five hours.) hat Corrected: After | stood in line for five hours, the manager annow! all the tickets had been sold. (Corrected by rewording the sentence.)Writing Sentences “Read over your compositions and, when you meet a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out.” —Samuel Johnson Writing Natural Sentences Samuel Johnson was undoubtedly talking about one of the greatest temptations facing writers—to use lots of words (big words, clever words, fancy words). For some reason, we get the idea into our heads that writing simply is not writing effectively. Nothing could be further from the truth. The best writing is honest and natural, not fancy or artificial. That’s why it is so important to master the art of freewriting. It is your best chance at developing a sincere, simple style. The samples that follow demonstrate wordy and artificial writing; rewrite any passages in your own work that sound like these sentences. Deadwood @ Deadwood is wording that fills up lots of space but does not add anything important or new to the overall meaning. Wordy: At this point in time, | feel the study needs additional work before the subcommittee can recommend it be resubmitted for further consideration. Concise: The study needs more work. Flowery Language © Flowery language is writing that uses more or bigger words than needed. It is writing that often contains too many adjectives or adverbs. Flowery: The cool, fresh breeze, which came like a storm in the night, lifted me to the exhilarating heights from which | had been previously suppressed by the incandescent cloud in the learning center. Concise: The cool breeze was a refreshing change from the muggy classroom air. Trite Expression @ A trite expression is one that is overused and stale; as a result, it sounds neither sincere nor natural. Trite: It gives all of us a great deal of pleasure to present to you this plaque as a token of our appreciation. Natural: Please accept this plaque with our heartfelt thanks. Jargon @ Jargon is language used in a certain profession or by a certain group of people. It is usually very technical and not at all natural. Jargon: I’m having conceptual difficulty with these employee mandates. Natural: | don't understand these work rules.Writing Sentences Euphemism @ A euphemism is a word or a phrase that is sy another because it is considered a less offensive way of saying Euphemism: | am so exasperated that | could expectorate, Natural: | am so mad I could spit. bstituteg , Something” Wordiness @ Wordiness occurs when extra words are used in a sente such as when a word, phrase, or synonym is repeated unnecessarily, Redundant: He had a way of keeping my attention by raising and lowering py voice all the time throughout his whole speech. -) Concise: He kept my attention by raising and lowering his voice when he spoke. Nee, Double Subject: Some people they don't use their voices as well as they could, (Drop they; people is the only subject needed.) Concise: Some people don’t use their voices as well as they could. Tautology: repeat again, descend down, audible to the ear, refer back, unite together (Each word group says the same thing twice.) Cliche @ A cliche is an overused word or phrase that springs quickly to mind but just as quickly bores the user and the audience. A cliche gives the reader nothing new or original to think about. Cliche: Her face was as red as a beet. Natural: Her face turned a deep shade of red. CLICHES TO AVOID after all is said and done food for thought beat around the bush grin and bear it believe it or not in a nutshell best foot forward in one ear and out the other better late than never in the nick of time | calm before the storm last but not least | cart before the horse lesser of two evils | chalk up a victory more than meets the eye come through with flying colors no time like the present | crying shame put your foot in your mouth | don't rock the boat quiet enough to hear a pin 0p | drop in the bucket raining cats and dogs | easier said than done see eye to eye face the music shot in the arm fish out of water sink or swim flat as a pancake So far, So goodWriting Sentences “You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country.” — — robert Frost Writing Acceptable Sentences What Robert Frost says is certainly true. Much of the color and charm of literature comes from the everyday habits and customs—and especially the speech—of its characters. Keep that in mind when you write fiction of any kind. However, when you write essays, reports, and most other assignments, keep in mind that it’s just as important to use language that is correct, appropriate, and therefore acceptable. Nonstandard Language © Nonstandard language is often acceptable in everyday conversation, but seldom in formal writing. Colloquial: Avoid the use of colloquial language such as go with, wait up. Mr. Park went with to the meeting. (Nonstandard) Mr. Park went with them to the meeting. (Acceptable) Double Preposition: Avoid the use of certain double prepositions: off of; off to, in on. Reggie went off to the movies. (Nonstandard) Reggie went to the movies. (Acceptable) Substitution: Avoid substituting and for to in formal writing. Try and get here on time. (Nonstandard) Try to get here on time. (Acceptable) Avoid substituting of for have when combining with could, would, should, or might. | should of studied for that test. (Nonstandard) I should have studied for that test. (Acceptable) Slang: Avoid the use of slang or any other “in” words. The museum trip was way cool. (Nonstandard) The museum trip was wonderful. (Acceptable) Double Negative @ A double negative is the improper use of two nega- tive words to perform the same function in a sentence. In standard English, use only one negative word in a sentence. Awkward: | haven't got no money. (This actually says—with the two negatives—I have money.) Corrected: | haven't got any money. / | have no money. % Using the words hardly, barely, or scarcely with the words no or not also results in a double negative.Shifts in Construction @ A shift in construction is a change in th ture or style midway through a sentence. (See pages 526-527, '° Strue. Shift in Number: When a person has the flu, they ought to stay at home. Corrected: When people have the flu, they ought to stay at home Shift in Person: When you are well again, you can do all the things a Per loves to do. "Son, Corrected: When you are well again, you can do all the things yoy j, to do. a Shift in Voice: Marcia is playing soccer again and many new skills are bein learned by her. (The shift is from active to passive voies © See page 510.3.) Corrected: Marcia is playing soccer again and learning many new skills. (Both verbs are in the active voice.) Shift in Tense: Marcia drinks lots of juice and got plenty of rest. Corrected: Marcia drinks lots of juice and gets plenty of rest. ‘% A tense shift is acceptable in a sentence that states one action as happening before another action. | think (present tense) he completed (past tense) his assignment last night. Unparallel Construction © Unparallel construction occurs when the kind of words or phrases being used changes in the middle of a sentence. (See page 129.) Unparallel: In my hometown, folks pass the time shooting pool, pitching horseshoes, and at softball games. (The sentence switches from the -ing words, shooting and pitching, to the prepositional phrase at softball games.) Parallel: In my hometown, folks pass the time shooting pool, pitching horseshoes, and playing softball. (Now all three activities are -ing words—they are consistent, or parallel.) Unparallel: For the open house, teachers prepare handouts for parents and are organizing the students’ work for display. (In this sentence, the verbs prepare and organizing are unparallel—not stated in the same way.) Parallel: For the open house, teachers prepare handouts for parents and organize the students’ work for display. (Now both verbs are stated in the same way.)Writing Sentences a Combining Sentences If you were to write a sentence about a tornado that struck a small town without warning, causing a great deal of damage, a number of serious injuries, and several deaths, you would really be working with six different ideas: 1. 2 Ey 4 5 6. There was a tornado. The tornado struck a small town. The tornado struck without warning. The tornado caused a great deal of damage. The tornado caused a number of serious injuries. The tornado caused several deaths. Of course, you wouldn’t express each idea separately like this. Instead, you would combine the ideas into longer, more detailed sentences. Sentence combining, which can be done in a variety of ways (see below), is one of the most effective writing techniques you can practice. 1. 2. Use a series to combine three or more similar ideas. The tornado struck the small town without warning, causing extensive damage, numerous injuries, and several deaths. Use a relative pronoun (who, whose, that, which) to introduce the subordinate (less important) ideas. The tornado, which was completely unexpected, swept through the small town causing extensive damage, numerous injuries, and several deaths. Use an introductory phrase or clause for the less important ideas. Because the tornado was completely unexpected, it caused extensive damage, numerous injuries, and several deaths. Use a participial phrase (-ing, -ed) to begin or end a sentence. The tornado swept through the small town without warning, leaving a trail of death and destruction. Use a semicolon. (Also use a conjunctive adverb if appropriate.) The tornado struck the town without warning; therefore, it caused extensive damage, numerous injuries, and several deaths. Repeat a key word or phrase to emphasize an idea. The unexpected tornado left a permanent scar on the small town, a scar of destruction, injury, and death. Use correlative conjunctions (not only, but also; either, or) to compare or contrast two ideas in a sentence. The unexpected tornado inflicted not only immense property damage, but also immeasurable human suffering. Use an appositive (or an appositive phrase) for emphasis A single incident, a tornado that came without warning, changed the face of the small town forever./ Writing Sentences Modeling Sentences Study the writing of your favorite authors, and you may fing that seem to flow on forever, sentences that are direct and ty the pie: and “sentences” that aren't by definition complete thoughts, (Writers 4: ln occasionally break the rules.) s Take Generally speaking, most popular authors writ, iz NOTE a relaxed, informal style. This style is characteringy by sentences with a lot of personality, rhythm, Dalane’ and variety. " The Modeling Process Imitating certain sentences because you like the way they sound, op the way they make a point, is sometimes called modeling. Here's ho You can get started: @ Reserve a special section in your notebook to list effective sentences you come across—those that flow smoothly, use effective descriptive words, and contain original figures of speech such as metaphors, similes, and personifications. (See Pages 136-138.) @ Copy the well-made sentences (or short Passages) into your notebook. ™ Study each sentence so you know how it is put together. Read it out loud. Look for phrases and clauses set off by commas. Also focus on word endings (-ing, -ed) and on the location of articles (a, an, the) and Prepositions (to, by, of ). @ Write your own version of the sentence, imitating it part by part. Try to use the same word endings, articles, and Prepositions, but work in your own nouns, verbs, and modifiers, © Continue imitating a number of different sentences in order to fine-tune your sense of sentence style. THE PROCESS IN ACTION Study the following sentence: He has a thin face with sharp features and a couple of eyes burning with truth oil, —Tom WolfeWriting Sentences Expanding Sentences Details seem to spill out of accomplished writers’ minds naturally. Readers marvel at how effectively these authors can expand a basic idea with engaging details. Maybe you envy good writers because of this special ability, and wish you could write in the same way. The truth is you can, Allit takes is a little practice. Cumulative Sentences Above all other types of sentences, the cumulative sentence marks an accomplished writer. What you normally find in a cumulative sentence is a main idea that is expanded by modifying words, phrases, or clauses. (See page 523.1 for more information.) Here's a sample cumulative sentence with the expanding modifiers coming after the main clause (in red). ‘Sam was studying at the kitchen table, memorizing a list of vocabulary words, completely focused, intent on acing tomorrow's Spanish quiz. Discussion: Notice how each new modifier adds another level of meaning to the sentence. Three modifying phrases have been added. Here’s another cumulative sentence with expanding modifiers coming before and after the main clause (in red). Before every practice, Kesha Sims and Tonya Harper work on free throws, taking 50 shots each. Discussion: In this case, a prepositional phrase (Before every practice) and a participial phrase (taking 50 shots each) add important details to the main clause. Expanding with Details When you practice expanding sentences on your own, remember that there are five basic ways to expand upon an idea: © Individual words: José prepared his breakfast quickly. © Prepositional phrases: José ate with his cat on his lap. © Participial (-ing or -ed) phrases: Looking at the clock, José gobbled his first piece of toast. © Subordinate clauses: José was still eating when his mother left for work. © Relative clauses: The cat, who loves leftovers, purred for a treat. —— | HELP FILE | To write stylistic sentences, you need to practice sentence modeling and sentence expanding. You also need to become a regular and attentive reader who notices the style as well as the content of what you read. 93Sentence-Writing TIPS How can you make sure that your sentences are effective? Kee these important points in mind: D Vary the pattern of your sentences, Your writing will be interesting if you use a variety of Sentence patterns. (See page 82.) Express complete thoughts. Your writing will be easy to follow if it has no sentence errors such as fragments and comma splices. (See pages 83-84.) Be clear in your thinking. Your writing will be clear if it is free of ambiguous wording and incomplete comparisons. (See pages 85-86.) Speak honestly and naturally. Your writing will sound natural if you avoid flowery language, jargon or technical language, deadwood, wordiness, euphemisms, and cliches. (See pages 87-88.) Follow the rules of standard English. Your writing may cause readers to stumble if it contains substandard language, double negatives, or shifts in construction. (See pages 89-90.) Combine short, choppy sentences. Your writing will lack smoothness, or fluency, if it contains too many short sentences. (See page 91.) Imitate stylistic sentences. Your writing will have style if you pay special attention to the sound and rhythm of your sentences. (See page 92.) Practice expanding basic ideas. Your writing will lack specific details unless you learn he: to expand basic sentences, (See page 93.)