Does single parenting affect children?

Kids raised by single parents may be more likely to have trouble in school.

The face of single parenting has changed in recent decades. It's no longer synonymous with
"broken" homes or "illegitimate" children -- probably at least in part because single parenting is
more common now, and parents are more likely to be on their own because they choose to be.
Today in the U.S., around 27 percent of all families with children are headed by a single parent
(versus nearly 20 percent in 1980) [source: U.S. Census Bureau].

What's more, many of the children in these types of situations do very well. U.S. President
Barack Obama, for instance, grew up in a non-traditional household, and it didn't keep him
from reaching the highest political office in the nation.
However, while kids raised by single parents are less likely to be stigmatized than they once
were, many are still at risk for certain psychological and developmental problems. For example,
children from single-parent homes may be more likely to drop out of school, and they are also
more vulnerable to alcohol and drug use.
To really get a handle on how single parenting affects children, and how single parents can
steer their kids away from these pitfalls, it's important to look at the various factors that can
have a negative impact. The source of the problems is not necessarily single-parenthood itself,
but a combination of economic pressures, family instability and conflict between parents.
Ultimately, the answer to whether single parenting affects any particular child is this: It
depends. A single parent with adequate resources may provide a stable, nurturing home in
which children thrive just as well as those who have two parents. On the other hand, a single
parent who's just scraping by and has little time, energy or skill for parental duties might have
children who are at risk for a variety of problems.

In this article, you'll read about some of the problems that can arise for kids in single-parent
households and learn what single parents can do to minimize the risks to their children. To
learn more about the potential psychological effects of single parenting, read on to the next
page.
Psychological Effects of Having a Single Parent

One major study in Sweden, which is in line with other research on the subject, looked at the
health records of nearly a million young people and found that children from single-parent
families had twice the incidence of psychiatric illness, suicide attempts and alcohol abuse
problems compared with those from two-parent homes [source: Meikle]. Other studies have
shown that kids living with single parents have lower self-esteem.
What factors tend to trigger these psychological problems? Divorce remains a common reason
why a parent ends up single. It's not unusual for children to be exposed to -- or even drawn into
-- the conflict that happens between parents before, during and after a breakup. Some parents
may pressure children to choose sides, which can leave them feeling guilty or abandoned
[source: Bromfield].

Another risk factor is lack of family stability. Single parents are more likely to move or
experience other disruptions that can affect children. A parent may remarry, for example, or
live with a succession of partners. Children thrive on stability. Uncertainty and emotional
turmoil can increase the chance of psychological pitfalls.

Here are some things a single parent can do to protect kids from these risk factors:
Talk (and Listen) to children. Explain any changes that are taking place. One study showed that
in only 5 percent of cases did parents explain to their children why they were divorcing or listen
to their questions [source: Parenting 24/7].

Shield kids from parental conflict. Don't ask them to take sides. Try to find a way to work with
your ex-spouse.
Pay attention to your own feelings. You may be burdened with guilt and self-loathing because
your marriage or relationship failed. These attitudes can be contagious. If necessary, see a
counselor to work through issues.

Accentuate the positive. Children in a single-parent home often take on more responsibility,
which can teach them independence. Be sure to recognize their contributions and be generous
with praise.
The risks of raising kids in single-parent families go beyond just psychological effects. To learn
about the potential developmental effects children in single-parent homes face, read on.
Beware of Role Reversal

Parents without mates sometimes lean on children for support during lonely periods. Children
are naturally protective of their parents, but asking them to solve adult problems can cause
them to stifle their own feelings and feel overwhelmed. Never discuss adult problems or
money issues with young children. Talk about their feelings, not your fears. Make sure they
have time to act like kids [source: Bourland].
Developmental Effects of Having a Single Parent
Many of the developmental risks that children of single parents face have to do with their
progress in school. Compared to kids from two-parent families, they tend to get lower grades,
suffer more absenteeism, and have more problems relating to peers and teachers. Their drop-
out rate is higher, and they're less likely to attend college [source: Psychology Today]. Children
raised by one parent are also more likely than their peers to exhibit problems like increased
aggression and anxiety and to have trouble getting along with their parents [sources: jrank.org,
Parenting 24/7].
These problems can be long-lasting. A report in the Journal of Family Psychology showed that
young adults whose parents had divorced still reported distress -- including feelings of loss
because of a diminished relationship with one parent -- 10 years after the fact [source:
Parenting 24/7]. These painful memories may be a root cause of some developmental issues.

The economic situation of single parents is another one of the main factors that can make
families vulnerable. Half of all risks to these children stem from money problems, researchers
have found [source: Miller]. The relation between strained finances and children doing poorly
in school can be direct, as with a child who feels obligated to drop out of school to help make
ends meet. Or, the impact can be indirect: A single parent working two jobs may simply have
less time to help with homework and have less control over his or her kids.

There are a few ways in which a single parent can minimize developmental problems:

Be consistent. Children do better if they have a regular routine. Established meal times and bed
times are important. Discipline should be fair and consistent.

Budget wisely and keep finances under control. Set spending priorities that take children's
needs (not wants) into account.

Use social supports. One study showed that African-American children in single-parent families
do as well in school as those with two parents in the home [source: Lang]. The reason was
thought to be a robust network of social supports. Single parents should not hesitate to turn to
extended family members, contact other single parents, or consult with a professional
counselor for help.
By using some of these strategies, adults may be able to turn single parenthood into a positive
experience for both parent and child. To read more about single-parent families, look over the
links that follow.
Grandparents in the Mix
A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that the participation of
grandparents is particularly valuable for single-parent families [source: American Psychological
Association]. The research showed that children who talked with and received advice from
grandparents were less hyperactive and disruptive. Grandparents also provide stability and
often allow kids much-needed time to just be kids.