Ministering to Your Family

Chapter 1
On the matter of a mate
By Kenneth. E. Hagin

In what areas can you exercise your faith? What can you believe for?

First, you can believe for everything the word of God promises you or provides for
you or provides for you. But you can’t believe beyond the word. Why not? Because
“…. faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” (Rom 10:17). Faith
is based on what God’s Word say’s and you cannot believe beyond your knowledge
of God’s Word. If people try to do this, they will get in trouble.

For example, years ago I met a denominational Pastor who received the baptism of
the Holy Spirit, spoke in tongues, and was kicked out his denomination.

With no church to pastor he had gone into business for himself in a large city and
started attending the largest Full Gospel church in that city. This man was unmarried
and was probably between 35 and 40.

He told me that a beautiful woman sang in the church choir, and because “you can
have what you say” and whatever you desire, just pray and believe you receive, he
was going to pray and believe that he was going to get her for a wife.

However, I can’t find where the bible says, “I promise john that he can have Mary
for a wife”. Mary may not want to be his wife and john maybe just as well off
without her anyway!

So, I asked him, have you ever talked to this woman? “have you ever had a date
with her?”

No”, He replied.
 Ministering to Your Family

Sitting out there in the congregation while the choir sang on Sunday morning, this
man has seen the woman, was attracted to her, and though because “you can have
what you say”, he could just say that they would be married, and it would come to
pass.

“Well if I believe it strongly enough” some will argue.

No, faith must be based on God’s Word. As we have seen Faith come by hearing,
and hearing by the word. And the word of God says “whoso findeth a wife findeth
a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the lord” (Prov.18:22).

“whoso findeth a wife “implies that you have a part to play, all right but you must
be open to the lord’s direction and you must realize that you cannot go against
another person’s free will.

The lord will lead and guide you. You have a right to claim his guidance because
he has promised to guide you. But just to pick somebody out and say, “I’m going
to believe God and she’s going to be my wife” won’t work.

Another’s Will Is Involved

The woman you want to marry may not want to be your wife. That would work the
other way around for women: The man you want to marry may not want to be your
husband.

Friends, you’re not going to be able to override another person’s will in the matter,
so you may as well settle that once and for all.

God himself does not exercise authority over spirits. If he did, he’d make everybody
in the world get saved today, and then we could entre in to the millennium.
 Ministering to Your Family

We only have authority over evil spirit, not over human spirits. God has granted
mankind free will to choose for themselves.

In the first meeting I held after leaving my last pastorate, an unmarried woman in
her thirties asked me, “Brother Hagin, do I have the right to believe for a husband?”
“I believe you do”, I replied “because the bible says ‘whoso findeth a WIFE findeth
a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the lord’- and it would be a poor rule that
wouldn’t work both ways.”

Will faith work here?

I told the young woman that, “you can’t just pick out somebody and say, ‘That one’s
mine’. But you can ask God to lead you. You can claim a mate by faith and let God
work out the details because you believe Him.”

Standing in faith

For many months, it didn’t look like things were going to work for this young
woman: No young man came into her life. Every time I saw her, I encouraged her
to sand in faith. She would say, “I am standing in faith. It’s going to work. I know
it is! “She had certain ideals in mind. She said, “I am not a minister myself, but I
have been in the work of the lord for many years, and I want to marry a minister.

In the process of time I saw her, and she had married a fine man -Minster. Her faith
had work.

I also remember two beautiful young woman who attended a revival meeting I once
conducted in Oklahoma.

They just had graduated from high school with the highest grades in their class.
Both were saved and baptized in the Holy Spirit in my meeting. Some months later,
 Ministering to Your Family

when I returned to that church for another meeting, the lord led me to minster a
word of wisdom to one of the girls.

Afterwards, the pastor said, “Brother Hagin, I’m so glad you did that. You didn’t
know this, I’m sure that young woman is engaged to be married, and we‘re
concerned about it. The young man has attended church here, but I’ll just be honest
with you -I’m sure he pretended he got saved so he could marry her”.

Something Better

I hadn’t known these details the night the lord has me minister to the young woman.
She was sitting on the front row that night. I asked the congregation to sing, because
I didn’t want everyone to hear what I told her. I said to her, “The lord told me to tell
you this: I have something better for you. Don’t marry right now. I ‘ve got
something better for you.

Two years later I was out in California in a camp meeting when a fine-looking
young couple came up to me. The woman said, “Brother Hagin, do you remember
me?”.

“No, “I said, but your face looks familiar.”

She told me her name, but I still couldn’t remember who she was.

“Well, “she said, “you’ll remember this: You called me up while the congregation
was singing, and you told me the lord said not to marry then because He had
something better for me”.

“Oh,” I said. “I remember that”.

“well “she said happily, “here he is!”

 Ministering to Your Family

Then she told me she and her husband were in Bible college preparing for the
ministry. “oh, I’m am glad the lord arrested me and ministered to me,” she said “I
would have made a fatal mistake. We’re so happy. And we’re working for God.”

God did have something better for her. God can lead and guide us we need to be
open to the leading of God.

You see, we can believe God and exercise faith for anything that promised in the
Bible. But we must base our faith upon what God’s Word says. If we get into areas
beyond the Word, we will get into gray areas-into dark areas. As soon as we’re in
the light. Then we’re on safe ground-sure ground.

Some may say, “I don’t know just what direction to take in life, so what shall I
believe for?”.

Well, trust God for guidance, because He has promised to guide you, Claim his
guidance by faith. Say, “Lord is guiding me. He is leading me. I may not see it this
moment. I may not even know what to do at the moment. But he is my guide, and I
am trusting Him.”

“For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God”. (Romans
8:14) God will guide you. But remember that he leads you just one step at a time.

Chapter 2
 Ministering to Your Family

Ministering in our own world

By Kenneth. W. Hagin
And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every
creature.
-Mark
16:15
“Then saith he unto his disciples, The harvest truly is plenteous, but the labourers
are few.”
Matthew
9:37

“But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye
shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria,
and unto the uttermost part of the earth.”
Acts 1:8
The word “world” can mean many different things. We can say “world” and mean
the entire planet that we live on. Or “world” may mean the environment we live in
-our community, our home.
Now it’s difficult to get most Christians excited about travelling somewhere else
to minister, but don’t talk to them about ministering at home!
However, if you’re ever going to be used by God to minister in the uttermost parts
of the earth, you’d better be able to minister at home first. God can’t and won’t use
you if you can’t minister at home.
In Acts 1:8, Jesus told his disciples to minster in Judea. That was the state in which
they lived. Notice the statement Jesus made next. He said they were to minister in
Samaria. That’s the place they hated most. As you study Jewish history, you will
learn that the Jews utterly hated the Samaritans. they called them dogs.
Notice that Jesus said first of all, start ministering at home-in your own state. Then
go to the place you hate the most. then go to the uttermost part of the earth.
Isn’t it strange how we always want to turn the Bible around? We want to go to the
uttermost part of the earth first. The last place we want to minister is at home. But
 Ministering to Your Family

I’ll tell you one thing: your testimony is not much good if it isn’t accepted by your
own hometown people!
Yes, we need to minister to the world. But what world do we need to minister to?
Let’s minister first in our own world, our home.
Christian homes are being attacked today by the devil as never before. He’s tearing
Christian homes apart. we need to begin to minister to our own world, to our own
household.
Do you know how to minister to your own household without a lot of fanfare? It’s
simple by having daily devotions in your home and by living a consistent Christian
life.
Don’t throw a fit one day and let your children get away with the same thing the
next day. Don’t talk to your family about living for God and then all of a sudden
get angry and slam your fist through the wall. (I know that happens in some people’s
homes!).
Yes, you can ask God to forgive you, and he will forgive you. But you’ve made a
damaging impression on your child and apologize for your behavior.

The charismatic home

In our charismatic world, the father of the family is out taking care of his business,
and the mother is busy going to all those prayers meeting, trying to win the rest of
the world to the Lord. The children are being neglected. They’re insecure. This isn’t
right and can prove it by the Word of God.
Some women will argue, “Yes, but Pastor Hagin, God call me to minister. And as
soon as I get my husband of to work and my children off to school, I’ve got to go
out and minster.”
But what happens when your husband comes home, and the house looks like a
pigpen because it hasn’t been cleaned? The bed hasn’t been made in three days,
because you haven’t had time; you’ve been out preaching, I can prove by the Word
of God that the highest calling you have is to take care of the house and take care
of those children God gave you. Your first ministry is to them.
 Ministering to Your Family

After you minister in your household, then you can go out, if you have time at 11pm,
and expect your wife and family to treat you very well, because you’re neglecting
your duties.
I’m not a woman’s libber, and I’m not on the other side of the fence into the extreme
submission teaching on the other hand. You will find from the Word of God that
God designed the home with man woman standing side by side and ministering
together.
When I marry a couple, I always tell them that woman was not taken out of man’s
feet to be trampled on by him. She was not taken out of his rib, next to his heart, to
stand beside him so they could enjoy love, unity ,and harmony together. When you
understand that, you have understood the correct biblical view point of marriage.

True biblical submission

One day at RHEMA, a young woman came up to me and said, “I don’t feel like I
ought to be in school, my husband said I had to come, so I submitted to him and
came. But I’ve got a 2-year-old and a 3-year-old at home. I have to go home after
school and try to study and try to take care of everything else. I just don’t think I
ought to be here, but I’m supposed to submit to my husband. He is the head of the
house.”
That’s a lot of nonsense. Submission is right and true when biblical, but not when
it’s like that.
The teaching of extreme submission is part of what’s tearing up homes and churches
today.
Men do have spiritual authority in the home-but it’s not just by yelling. “Bless God,
you’re going to do it because I said do it!’’ You big bullies! You can make anybody
do anything you want them to-your wife, your children, and others-but one of these
days that son of yours is going to grow up. He’s going to stand about as tall as you
are, look you in the eyes, and say, ‘’You aren’t making me do anything anymore!’’

Learn how to put your home together properly. Parents, don’t talk about all the
church people in front of your children. As far as my children know, all the
 Ministering to Your Family

preachers and church members our family knows are the greatest people in the
world. We never discuss ministry related problems in front of our children.

I’m appalled at people who try to minister to someone else when their own home is
in turmoil. The Apostle Paul said that if you can’t manage your own homes, you
don’t have any right ministering (1 Tim. 3:4-5). I’m not talking about ministering
solely from the platform; I’m talking about ministering in the local body too.
When you minister effectively at home, and get everything there in the right order,
then you can begin to go out and minister to the world.

Ministry in the Local Church

The second “world’’ where you need to minister is your local church or fellowship;
the local body where you attend. And if you don’t attend a local church or
fellowship regularly, you are not living in the line with the word of God. The Bible
says, “Not forsaking the assembly of ourselves together, as the manner of some is,
but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching”
(Heb. 10:25).
You won’t get involved just staying home watching services on television. You’ll
sit there in your easy chair and dose off, not hearing half of what’s going on.

You should be involved with a local church where the full Gospel is taught and
preached. You should be involved by attending, by giving tithes and offerings, and
by working at whatever needs to be done.
A pastor can’t do it all. He needs some help in ministering salvation and healing for
physical needs as well as for the brokenhearted, the bruised, the oppressed, and the
lonely who are sitting there in that congregation.
We need to be sensitive enough to the spirit of God to sense the hurts and the need
of the person sitting next to us in church, and to minister to him or her. We need to
realize that we’re living in a world that’s hurting. That world needs to be ministered
to!
 Ministering to Your Family

But to minister, we need to get back to the basics-back to commitment and

rededication to God. Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and
his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.”
These are too many people seeking the “things”-the airplanes, the cars, the houses,
and all that. I believe we can have “things,” because God’s Word says we can, but
we shouldn’t seek them. We should seek the kingdom of God!
When we get interested in getting people saved and healed, the “things” will be
added-the things we want, need and desire. Our problem is that we’re seeking things
instead of the kingdom.
I don’t know how many services I’ve been to where they preached prosperity and
faith, but no altar call was given. There wasn’t one person prayed for, for healing.
If there was any prayer at all, it was, “God bless me and my finances.” That’s part
of it, but that’s not the bottom line.
The bottom line is getting people SAVED from SIN and getting them on the road
to HEAVEN. All our other blessings are luxuries!
Thank God for the baptism in the Holy Spirit. Thank God for healing. Thank God
for meeting all our needs. But did you know that none of these blessings are
necessary for our getting into the kingdom of God? The only thing that’s necessary
is being born again by the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. That’s a necessity.
Everything else we get from God is a luxury.
One day as I was praying, the Lord said to me, “Why do you think I taught people
how to use their faith to get things they want?” “I don’t know.”
“Because,” He said, “people want things for themselves, and that is the best way to
teach them how to use their faith. Now I want them to take that faith and begins to
believe souls into the kingdom.”
Have you ever been to one of our large crusades? Have you ever noticed that,
whether we preach a salvation message or not, we always give an altar call, and
there are always many people who come forward for salvation? Do you know why?
Because Brother Hagin takes the same faith that he uses to believe for the finances
of the meeting and believes for the salvation of people. That’s the bottom line-
salvation.
 Ministering to Your Family

People are hurting! Let’s get back to the basics. Let’s get back to dedicating
ourselves to what God actually called us to do in the first place: Be witnesses of
Jesus Christ!

Chapter 3

The role of the Christian father

By Kenneth. W. Hagin

When you study the word of God, you find that God has much to say about the care
of the family.
Personally, I believe that the Bible teaches that we are to take care of our families
first-before all of our other obligations. For example, in First Timothy 5:8 we read,
“But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he
had denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
But caring for a family involves more than just providing food, shelter and clothing.
It also involves giving love, discipline, and time to family members. Remember,
your children don’t learn just from your words; they also learn from your actions
and attitudes. And they can’t pick up their parents actions or attitudes if their parents
are absent from the home!

How to Lose Your Family

My dad Kenneth .E. Hagin, believes that unless it is a life -or- death situation, as it
was with him, you should not leave your family behind to go into full-time
travelling ministry. The quickest way to lose your family is to go on the road and
stay on the road!
 Ministering to Your Family

Yes, it is commendable to throw yourself into your ministry, but I have seen
ministers do this and lose those who were precious and dear to them. These
ministers never learn how to set priorities in their lives.
I believe that the minister’s personal relationship with God, his spouse, their
children, and the call of God in the minister’s life are to be ranked in that order.
Ministers must work out a schedule by which all of these responsibilities can be
met. It will take work, diplomacy, and supernatural wisdom to meet all these
responsibilities successfully.

If your family suffers because of your call, or if your call suffers because of your
family, you’ve got a problem. There will be times when you may have to be gone
from home-I grant you that-but there will be other times when your family may
have to come first.
Children needs to grow up in a stable atmosphere where they can have friends and
be involves in normal social activities. Their social life should not suffer because
of your call to the ministry!

When our sin, Craig, started school, our daughter, Denise, was only 2, but she cried
to go to school like ‘’Bubbie.’’ A church near our home had a ‘’Mother’s Day Out’’
program, so Lynette enrolled Denise in it, and she love it. However, Denise found
out that one of her little friends there was enrolled in an afternoon class so, of course,
Denise wanted to go with her friends. We allowed her to do so.
Each May, Denise’s class gave a recital. One year I had already set up my summer
speaking schedule when I learn that Denise’s recital would occur the day before I
was to speak in a certain large city. I called my crusade director and instructed him
either to change the meeting date, or, if that was impossible, to cancel it entirely.
Some people may say, “Somebody could go to hell because you didn’t hold that
service!’’
But did you ever stop to think that if you win the whole world and lose your family,
you haven’t really accomplished anything?
My first responsibility is to my family. It was very important to that little girl that
her daddy be at her recital each year -so I was.
 Ministering to Your Family

Nobody Cared About Curtis

It isn’t only preachers who get so involved in their work that their children suffer.
I’ve seen people in other lines of work who just don’t care about what is important
to their children.
Before our children were in grade school, I coached track. Some of the parents never
came to any events. Their children would work very hard, running track every
afternoon to prepare for the meets, but the parents never bothered to attend.
One little red- headed boy by the name of Curtis trained especially hard. He
couldn’t run fast, but he was good at running long distance, and he ran every day.
I once said to him, “Curtis, you don’t have a chance in anything except the
long-distance run. But you can win the city championship in the mile run if you will
practice. While I’m working with the rest of the guys in the broad jump, the high
jump, and the hurdles, you run laps.”
Curtis won the preliminary mile run hands down, but his dad and mother was
not there. The city meet was scheduled around Eastertime. Curtis’s parents called
me and said, “Curtis won’t be at the meet. We’re going to his grandma’s.” I said,
“Well, let him stay with me (he was crying and he wanted to stay home and
compete). He’s a good runner. He can win city.” They refused. Later they decided
not to go of town after all, but even then they didn’t come to see their son run.
Curtis won the city meet easily. And the only adults who praised him were
the school principal and I.
I watched Curtis over the years. By the time he had entered Junior high
school, he wasn’t involved in anything anymore. Do you know why? Because
nobody cared!
Yet Curtis was a boy who had ability. He wasn’t fast, but he could set a pace
all day long and never give up. He could outrun the competition. But he received
no love at home. His parents wouldn’t make any effort to get up early on a Saturday
morning him in his sport.

Work at Your Relationships

 Ministering to Your Family

It’s not easy holding a three-day meeting, rushing to the plane still in your dress
clothes, flying all night with little rest on “the red eye special,” and then changing
into jeans as soon as you get home in other to spend the day with your family. After
all that, you would prefer to head for your favorite chair, turn on “Wide world of
sports,” and dose and relax. But to win your children, you must put forth the effort
necessary to build a close relationship with them. It takes time to build relationships.
It takes effort to get involved with your children’s activities after spending a long
day at work. It takes sacrifices on the parents’ part to put the children’s interests
first.
In a typical working day, I will teach, run the ministry, pastor RHEMA Bible
church, deal with people’s problems, and answer hundreds of mails and memos.
Usually, I stay at the office till about 5 p.m. When I get home, my mind is tired. I
don’t want any noise or activity. All I want to do is to eat, change into jogging pant
and a T-shirt, and do absolutely nothing!
But I’ve got a son, a daughter, and a wife. I make it a point to sit down and
listen to my children-to get involved. Some people sit down with their children, but
they never get involved with them. When a child has a problem, to that child it is as
big as mountain. If I shut my children out of my world, I’m giving the devil the
opportunity to get in.
One Saturday afternoon several years ago, my son got an old kite out of the
closet and was trying to get it to fly. He came in the house and asked me to help. I
could have said, “Well, Craig, Dad is going to have a hard week next week. I’ve
only got two days in the office, and then I’ve got to go out of town to preach. I need
to relax right now.” But that wouldn’t have sufficed. So I got up from watching
television and we went down to the school yard and flew the kite.
My wife has made similar sacrifices. Once Lynette was schedule to
accompany me to meeting in Houston. One of the children said, “Mommy, please
don’t go this time.” Lynette didn’t go. She shed a few tears over it, because we
hadn’t been together by ourselves for a long time. Staying home that time was a real
sacrifice on her part, but her dedication to those children has paid off in the long
run.
Sometimes you must put your children’s activities first. You may have to
give up something you want to do so that they can participate in a program at
church, for example. It is important for children to be active in a spiritual
atmosphere. Children need that identification with a local church.
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Charismatics’ Children
Many charismatics have insecure children. This is simply because they are putting
everything else ahead of their children. You may win five hundred million people
to God, but it will count to zero if you lose three or four souls in your own homes.
According to the Word of God, your first responsibility is to your children.
The Bible says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is
old, he will not depart from it” (Pro 22:6). Think about the word, “Train.” How
much training can take place if you are not home?
Some years ago, I took overseas missionary trips without my family. In
discussing going a third time, I said, “Unless my family can go with me, I’m not
going.”
My little girl has cried herself to sleep the last time I was gone. She was all
right for the first few days, but after that, she began to miss her daddy, because I
tuck her into bed every night. Children can understand your being gone somewhat
–but you‘ve got to realize that they’re still children. You don’t know exactly how
those little minds think. Denise started saying, “I understand that people need to be
preached to, and they need to be healed-but I need my daddy too.” When you hear
things like that, you’d better stop and think! You’re on the verge of losing someone
in your own household!

Picking Up the Signals

Now, sometimes your wife may say, “You’ve been gone a lot lately, and we haven’t
had much time together.” You had better begin to pick up on statements like that. It
may be time for you to take a trip together for a few days. Your wife is trying to tell
you, “I need you.” You’d better learn to look at her and know when she needs you.
Pick up on the little things. At different times, each of the marriage partners need,
special love and support from the other one. Learn to give the support that she
needed.
If the husband is out travelling a lot, the wife had better realize his needs and
meet them at home. The devils had a lot of traps sets for him out there, and it is
easier for him to fall into them when he hasn’t been taken care of at home. I’m just
 Ministering to Your Family

dealing with some down-to –earth facts here. God ordained the union of a man and
a woman. Let’s learn how to live according to His plans.
Yes, you have a ministry and you have to reach the world, but you have to
think of your wife and children first.

‘Little Pitchers’
Here’s another important point to remember: Don’t talk negatively in front of your
children about the churches you have visited, the meeting you have held, or another
preacher’s problems. People, who do, give children the wrong ideas. Words said in
the home can come back to haunt you! Children will reflect your thinking. They
will say what you say.
Therefore, it is important for the children’s sake that you always keep before them
the thought that; Minister’s, are excellent people. If you train children properly, they
will be able to handle truth later on when they face them.
My wife and I talk about the problems in the ministry just between
‘Ourselves.’ As far as the children are concerned, every RHEMA children are
perfect; every church member is perfect; and every preacher we know is perfect.
We never discuss our office Business in front of them either. The only thing we talk
about is, “Let’s get together and believe God for RHEMA’s finances; for building
and so forth.” Don’t burden your children’s little ears and minds with adult’s
problems!

Why Preacher’s Kids Fall Apart

I have known many preachers’ who are not Christians today. They don’t even go to
church. Why? Because their daddy was always too busy with Johnny Brown and
Katie Jones and Charlie Smith at the church to give his own children the time of
day. So his children become bitter and resentful, and they turn their backs on the
things of God.
Some of these preachers have talk to my dad and said, “We thought God
required this of us. We thought we were supposed to give up our own family and
let them get by the best way they could. We gave ourselves entirely to the church,
and now we have lost our own family!” That’s an indictment, and it’s hurt. I’ve
seen men weep as they told dad this. But they didn’t have to neglect their family
 Ministering to Your Family

and ultimately lose them-it wasn’t necessary. They needed to spend time with their
wife and children.
Many ministers have lost their wives because of the demands of the ministry.
They may not be legally divorced-they may share the same house-but they don’t
have a marriage. Their marriage is just two people living under the same roof. I
know pastors who have slept in separate bedrooms from their wives for years. They
don’t argue or fuse. They came to an understanding a long time ago. They don’t
want to ruin the ministry, so they continue to stay married.
That kind of life is not necessary if you work at your marriage. God does not
require so much of you that He asked you to destroy your marriage relationship-not
when it was God who established the marriage relationship in the first place!
Neither does God require you to raise insecure children who get mad at God because
they think He took their daddy and mummy away from them all the time!
Fathers, if you’re out on the road preaching during the summer, take your son
with you. Go to the meeting together. Yes, it will be difficult. You may not have,
as much time to study-but taking him along is important. You’re building a
relationship.
Unless you develop the proper relationship when your children are younger,
you’re not going to develop it when they are older.

It’s Your Responsibility

I believe that the Word of God teaches that your wife and children are your primary
responsibility, even over and above your ministry. Those children did not ask to be
brought into this world, and God tells you it is your responsibility to raise them in
the path of righteousness and godliness.
It’s not the responsibility of the babysitter, or a grandmother, or Aunt Susie.
I don’t care about how much others may love your children-they cannot give them
what you can give them.
It’s time to realize that God does not expect us to shirk our responsibilities in
one area and to pick up another responsibility somewhere else. Sometimes the call
come first and the family second-but not all the time. Let that circle rotate and bring
the family up on top the next time. Learn how to let it be a natural rotation: call,
wife children-all centre around God.
 Ministering to Your Family

Then you will find that you are living a happy, well, balanced family life.
Your call will balance itself out. This won’t happen, however, without work, tears
and dedication on your part. I’ve shed a few tears over having to leave my family
and go preach. I’m dedicated to the call-but I’m just dedicated to them.
There are times I must preach, but there are other times when I let invitations to
preach slide by so that I can be with my family. In other words, I don’t preach every
time I get an invitation.

Seeing a Sermon
My son and daughter need to see me choosing priorities and living life to its fullest.
I can talk about it until I’m blue in the face, but my children need to see-not just
hear about-me doing it. (They also will see God’s love at the heart of my decisions.)
Then I will never have to worry about them turning away from God when they get
older.
By learning to mesh your call and family life, you will find that your family
becomes well rounded. Your call, wife, and children will rotate naturally, all
centered around God.
Your children will see you living the Christian life-not saying one thing and doing
another. And although this kind of lifestyle takes dedication to achieve, you will
find that life will become beautiful as you learn to keep the proper balance between
your family life and your call to minister.
 Ministering to Your Family

Chapter 4

Surrounding a Teenager
With Faith and Love

By Kenneth. E. Hagin

“. . . he shall have whatsoever he said.”

-Mark
11:23
What are you going to have in life?
What you say.
Who said that?
Jesus said it.
 Ministering to Your Family

Is it true? Do you suppose Jesus really knew what He was talking about? I believe
He told the truth, don’t you?
Well, Jesus told the truth, I’d better check up on what I’m saying; especially if I’m
not satisfied with what I have. And I’m not just talking about being healed.
At a full Gospel Business Men’s Convention in a certain large city, a woman
came up to me after one of the afternoon teaching sessions.
She said, “Brother Hagin, I want you to promise me something.” I replied,
“Well, I want to find out what it is first.”

A Mother’s Request
She said, “I want you to promise me that you’ll pray every day for my son. He’s 15
years old. I’m a widow, and I can’t do a thing in the world with him. I can’t get him
to go to church. He’s in with a gang, and I’m afraid they’re on drugs. He’s out until
3 and 4 o’clock in the morning. I lie awake, nights waiting for the phone to ring
telling me they’ve got him down at the jail.”
I interrupted her before she could tell anymore about how bad her son was. I
said to her, “I’m not going to do it.”
That shocked her.

“You’re not?”

“No, ma’am. I’m not. I won’t promise you I’ll pray for him at all.”

“Well!” she said.

“You see,” I continued, “in the first place, it wouldn’t do any good, because
you’d nullify the effects of my prayers by your wrong believing and your talking.
No matter how many people pray, as long as you keep telling your son that he will
never amount to anything and he will wind up in reform school and the penitentiary-
he’ll never make it.”
Her eyes got big. “How do you know I was talking that way to him?”
 Ministering to Your Family

Products of Words
I said, “To be in the mess he’s in, you had to talk him into it. We’re products of
words. Children are products of words. Words will make a boy love an education.
Words will make a boy want to go to church, or they’re keep him out of church.”
“What school I do?” the woman asked.
“In the first place, since you’ve done this so long, and because he’s as old as
he is, just leave him alone. He resents your talking to him and trying to tell him
anything. Just leave him alone. Don’t tell him anything. Don’t preach at him. Don’t
nag him.”
“Now for the second thing,” I went on, “change your thinking and change
your talking.” At home, even when you don’t know where your son is, say, ‘I
surround my son with faith.’ You have been surrounding him with doubt. Now
surround him with faith. And say, even if your heart doesn’t believe it to begin with-
say it out of your mouth, and once it registers in your heart you’ll start believing-I
do not believe he’s going to the reform school. I do not believe he’s going to the
penitentiary. I believe he’s coming to God. I believe -------------‘ and state what you
believe.
“Well,” she said, “I’ll try it.”
“It won’t work. It won’t work if you try it. But it will work if you’ll do it. Jesus
didn’t say that we will have whatever we tried, He said we’d will have whatever we
said.”
That convention was in August. The full Gospel Business Men had another
convention in that city the next year October, fourteen months later and I returned
to speak again.
After the afternoon service, a woman came up to me and said, ’Brother Hagin do
you remember me?”
“Oh “she said, “remember when you were here in August a year ago and I asked
you to pray for my boy, and you shocked me by saying you wouldn’t?”

A good report
The woman continued” I want to tell you one thing: what you told me works! Now,
it didn’t look like it was going to work. My son got worse. And keeping my mouth
 Ministering to Your Family

shut was the hardest thing I ever did. But to kept saying every day I said it, every
night I said it –‘I surrounded him with faith and love. I believe he’s coming to God.
I believe things are going to work out in his life. I believe he’s not going to reform
school.’
“My head said that was where he was going because of the bunch he was running
around with, but I said from my heart, ‘He’s not going to the reform school, I do
not believe he’ll wind up in the penitentiary.’”
She continued, “We went along that way for nearly a year. Then one Sunday
morning, after he’d been out nearly all night, he got up. Ordinarily he would sleep
in, but he got up and came to the breakfast table. And while we were eating he said,
‘momma I believe I’ll go to Sunday school with you this morning.’”
She said, “I just acted nonchalantly and said, Now, son, you were up awfully late
,you probably need the rest .”(before ,she had been nagging him to go).
“No,” he said, “I want to go.”
“Well “she said.” it’s up to you, but you only got a few hours sleep.”
“I want to go,” he said. And he went to Sunday school and stayed for church.
“The very next Sunday morning,” the mother told me, he was out till 4 o’clock in
the morning but again he was up for breakfast.”
“Momma,” he said to her,” “I believe I’ll go to Sunday school with you this
morning.”
She said, “Son you were out late last night. you need the rest, you know .”
“Well, yes,” he said, “but I can go, I’m going.”
He son went to Sunday school stayed for church, and that evening he said to her, “I
believe I’ll go back with you tonight”. When the invitation was given at the end of
that service, the young man went to the altar and was saved.

A Brand-New Son
“Since then,” she told me, “he’s been filled with the Spirit. Just like he was all out
for the devil before, now he’s is all out for God! He’s on fire for God! I believe he’s
going to turn into a preacher! I’ll tell you, he’s just a brand –new boy. I’ve got a
brand-new boy!
 Ministering to Your Family

“Thank you,” she said.” At first, I almost got my feelings hurt; you were so blunt
with me. But I saw. It corrected myself and thank God I have a brand-new son.
“You know,” she added, I’ll tell you something else. He’s got a brand-new
Momma.”
This woman was saved and filled with the Holy Spirit and had been attending a Full
Gospel Church for years, but she told me that day, I don’t think any more like I used
to think .I almost pinched myself sometimes and say, is this really me “I used to
worry ,worry worry ,worry .Now I don’t worry anymore.
“Not only that,” she continued, but I feel so good physically. I feel like a young girl.
I’ve got vim, vigor, and vitality.”
When this woman began to say the right thing, it worked for her Jesus said
,………he shall have whatsoever he SAITH.”

Chapter 5

How to win Your

Unsaved Loved Ones

By Kenneth. E. Hagin

One of the question most frequently asked of me is how to get unsaved loved ones
saved. This is my advice to you.
First, realize that the father draws people through the Holy Spirit. When the Word
of God is preached, the Holy Spirit brings conviction upon people through the
Word.
Jesus said, “No man can come to me except the father which hath sent me draw him:
and I will raise him up on the last day” (John 6:44)
 Ministering to Your Family

Second, pray that God will send someone across your unsaved loved one’s path.
Jesus said in Matthew 9, pray ye therefore the lord of the harvest, that he will send
forth labourers into his harvest” (v.38)we will study more about this later.
I don’t believe, however, there are any rules you can establish in soul-winning that
would work for everyone. God might lead one person one way and another person
another way. We must always bear in mind the vital work of the Holy spirit in
drawing people to Christ.
Sometimes the members of your family are the most difficult people to deal with.
They won’t listen to you. Generally speaking, it is better for you not to try to deal
with them. Now don’t misunderstand me- sometimes the Spirit of God may lead
you differently. I’m just laying down some general principles here.

How My Family Was Won

I was a teenager when I became born again. Some of my family members were what
we call nominal Christians knew Jesus was their Savior, but they didn’t know much
beyond that. I was led by the Spirit of God never mention anything to them about
salvation – and that leading extended to other relatives, like aunts ,uncles, and
cousins.

One way the Holy Spirit leads us is by an inward witness or inward conviction. I
just had conviction in my Spirit that if my relatives saw reality in my life, the would
all want it. (That’s true in the natural realm too. If you know somebody has a good
recipe, for example, you want it).
According to the word of God, “For bodily exercise profiteth little: but
GODLINESS IS PROFITABLE unto all things………..” (1 Tim 4;8) “profitable”
means that it pays off. Paul continued in verses fifteen, “Meditate upon these things;
give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all.”
So I never said one word about the Lord to any of my close relatives, and I never
asked any of them to be saved. I started preaching as a 17-year-old boy, but never
asked my relatives to come and hear me preach. They came, but I never asked them.
I never said one word to any of them about salvation. Why? I was led not to. I knew
in my Spirit that I shouldn’t.
 Ministering to Your Family

Don’t Nag
Too often people nag their unsaved relative until they don’t even like you to be
around them. Through the years when we went to family Thanksgiving or Christmas
get together, I tried to enter into their normal activities and games.
Before I was converted and began to preach, my family never prayed at the table,
but afterwards, they always asked me to say grace, I never said anything else to
them.
But one thing about it: Through the year, every one of them got born again!
I have noticed that the two most common mistakes people dealing with their
families are these (1) They try to be super-spiritual, and (2) They overdo witnessing.
Yes, the Bible teaches witnessing, but you have to realize that there’s an old
proverb that says, “what you are speaks so loud I can’t hear what you say” people
who do a lot of talking may not have enough life to back up their witness.

The Greatest Witness

I just let my life witness-and my relatives eventually all wanted the lord. They
saw something in my life that they wanted. I think that’s the greatest witness,
actually. If you live the Christian life in front of people, it will influence your
spouse, your children, and your relatives.
Even though I did not witness to my relatives, I did pray for them through
the years. I prayed for one man in particular who was going, through some severe
tests in his family.
One day I was in my hometown on some business, and I happened to see a
familiar figure walking down the street.
This person’s walk remained me of that relative. As I pulled alongside the
man, however, I decided he was the wrong person, so I drove on by.
After I had gone several blocks, it suddenly hit me: momma had said this
relative lost about 50 ponds and I wouldn’t even recognize him anymore. I hadn’t;
he look haggard.
I quickly said out loud, “Dear God save So-and so.”
 Ministering to Your Family

A voice in the backseat of my car said “well that’s what I am trying to do!
“the voice was so clear, I looked around to see if somebody had hidden back there!
Then I knew something instantly: I was wasting my time praying such a prayer for
that person’s salvation, because God had been trying to save him all his life!

Pray for labourers

A scripture flashed across my mind. Jesus said in Matthew 9:38, “Pray ye
therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth labourers into his harvest.”
I pulled over to the side of the road and stopped the car. I bowed my head and
prayed, dear Lord, I know it wouldn’t do much good if I went and talked to this
man, because I know he would listen to me. But there must be somebody he would
listen to, I don’t know who that is, but you do, send somebody across his path to
witness to him”.
Fifteen years of praying, “God save So-and so “hadn’t worked. I prayed one
time for God to send a labourer across his path, and within two weeks’ time,
somebody had crossed his path, prayed with him, and influenced him. Momma told
me he bought a bible and started going to church.
After I had that unusual experience, I started examining the scriptures. In the
church circles I was in then, we always prayed,” God save the lost. God save the
lost. But I could find any place in the bible where it Said, Pray for the lost. Pray that
God will save sinners.”
Instead, I found where Jesus had said, “Pray ye……the lord of the harvest,
that he will send forth labourers into his harvest.” the harvest is there waiting to be
harvested. We need labourers.
There is someone who can talk to your relatives when you cannot. You need
to realize that.
Believing for labourer to cross your unsaved loved one’s path isn’t the only
way to him or her saved, however. You need to listen to your spirit for instruction
on how to reach them.
The role of Prayer
One thing you can do is to intercede on your loved one’s behalf.
 Ministering to Your Family

Often when we pray for our unsaved loved ones, we’re trying to make God do
something to come to pass.
Actually, what we need to do is to study the Word and depend upon and trust in the
spirt of God to do the work. Put the Word of God first. No prayer life is going to be
successful if it’s not based on the Word of God.
Realize that getting the answer may depend on you. The manifestation can come
faster if the Word of God is strongly rooted in you. The bible says,”.……… “faith
cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God”. (Rom 10:17). In other words,
your faith is stronger if you have a lot of word in you.
That’s the reason I don’t even pray about somethings for several days until I have
examined the word carefully on the subject. (Emergencies are different.) If the
situation has existed for years and hasn’t changed, it’s going to be there in few days,
so you’ve got to study what the word has to say about it. keep examining the word.
Keep meditating on it.
Sometimes I have gone for days just meditating on just one thing. After three or
four days, I’ve found that faith is so strong in me, I could not doubt if I wanted to,
because the Word has built something into me!
Jesus said in John 15:7, “If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask
what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. “You see, it’s after the word of God gets
into you that you’re able to pray effectively.
Because the spirit of God knows who can be touched –we don’t –He may lead you
to intercede for people you barely know instead of your unsaved loved ones or
friends.
After a certain period, you will find that the burden of prayer will be lifted, and a
spirit of lightness will prevail. Sometimes people began to laugh. Many times, I
have laughed or sang in the spirit. Why? When the burden lifts, that means the
answer is assured, even though it hasn’t been manifested yet.

The Role of Authority

Some years ago, I was studying what the New Testament has to say about the
authority of the believer.
 Ministering to Your Family

I wasn’t even thinking about my unsaved relatives. While reading in second

Corinthians 4, however, I saw where Paul said that the god of this world, Satan has
blinded the minds of those who are lost. And I began understanding something.
An inward something said, “do you think a sane, sensible person would drive
his car down the highway at 80 to 100 miles an hour, run right by flashing red lights
and signs that said, ‘Danger Ahead’ or ‘Bridge Out,’ and run off the road and kill
himself?”
I answered out loud, “No, no. I don’t think so.”
Then I realized that a drunk or doped person would do this. Why? “Because the
gods of this world, has blinded his mind.” It is a well-known fact that automobile
accidents frequently happen to people who had just had a family feud or fuss. They
aren’t paying attention to their driving, because their minds are befuddled.
Similarly, the devil has blinded the minds of the unsaved, because no rational
human being would rush through life and plunge into hell.
Reading there in Second Corinthians, I began to see something I had never
seen before: We need to break the power of the devil over our unsaved loved ones,
because the devil has their minds blinded!
You need to get this same revelation if it’s to work for you. It won’t work for you
just because it worked for me.
Any time I received a revelation from God, I try it out before I started
preaching it. I want to see if it works. If it won’t work for me, how is it going to
work for you? The Bible says, “prove all things; hold fast that which is good” (1
Thess. 5:21). I’ll even try it in the hardest places first; I won’t start on the easy ones.
When I saw this truth, I reasoned, if that’s true (and I knew it was, because it
is the word of God), if I can make it work on my brother Dub, I can make it work
on anybody, because he’s the worst case. If it will work on Dub, it would work on
ANYBODY!
I had been lying across the bed, studying, when I made this decision, I rose up with
my Bible in one hand, and I lifted my other hand to heaven .I said, “In the Name of
the lord Jesus Christ, I break the power of the devil over my brother Dub’s life ,and
I claim his deliverance .That means deliverance from the Devil and full salvation in
Jesus Name, Amen.”
 Ministering to Your Family

I had prayed and occasionally fasted for Dub for fifteen years, none of it
seems to work. In fact, Dub seem to get worse. But once I prayed that prayer,
breaking the power of the devil over Deb’s life, that settled it for me, I wouldn’t
even touch it in my thought life I wouldn’t even think about it.
About a week went by. Then one day a voice said to me, Oh, come on, now .You
don’t believe old Dub will ever be saved ,do you?”

Reason vs. Faith

I started to think about the situation. And this is a critical point on receiving
salvation, faith, or whatever you need from God. As long as Satan can hold you in
the arena of REASON, he will whip you every time- in every battle in every conflict.
But if you will hold Satan in the arena of FAITH, you will defeat him every time!

I started to think about it for a moment. Then I shut my mind off and wouldn’t think
about it. (You can train yourself to do that; I started doing it as a teenager.)
From way down inside of me –in my spirit – something sort of bubbled up. It came
out of my mouth, and I started laughing –from right out of inside me.
I said, “No no, I don’t think Dub will be saved- I know it. You see, Satan I took the
Name of Jesus (Satan won’t argue with you about the Name) and broke your power
over Dub and claimed his deliverance –deliverance from Satan AND FULL
SALVATION!”.
If the devil could have gotten me started thinking. Well I hope he gets saved…..I
don’t know whether he will be or not…..maybe he will…he would have defeated
me .But I just shut my mind off and refused to worry about it.
Within two weeks, Dub we saved. He ended up preaching the Gospel until the time
he went home to be with the lord.
 Ministering to Your Family

Other Methods
This is just one way to pray for the salvation of a loved one, I prayed differently for
other relatives.
For one I just said, “lord, send somebody across his path, “for another I said, “I
break the power of the devil over him, “I had the spirit of intercession for others.
It all comes back to the word of God and the spirit of God. Every Christian needs
to get into the Word and study what the Bible says on this subject of praying for the
lost. For example, Romans 15:1 says, “We then that are strong ought to bear the
infirmities of the weak……..” Galatians 6:2 says” Bear ye one another's burdens,
and so fulfil the law of Christ.”
Often people pray incorrectly –and they open the door to the devil. They pray,
“Lord, bring my loved one in at any cost. “But Jesus has already paid the cost!
People need to understand that. If you don’t, you’re opening the door for the devil
to do a lot of things. People say, “Well God used that tragedy to bring him to
salvation.” But that kind of thinking is not in line with the Bible.
People have gotten saved in times of war when bombs were dropping and innocent
women and children were being killed. But that wasn’t God’s way of bringing them
to salvation! Of course, God is there when people turn to Him. But you don’t need
to pray tragedies on people to make them come to God!
When God begins to deal with a person, a Spirit of conviction comes upon him –
and it usually comes through prayer, often he becomes more miserable and more
difficult to live with than ever before- but you needn’t pray an accident or illness
upon him so he would be born again!
Instead you must depend on the Spirit of God to lead you. You must use wisdom to
know when to speak to your unsaved loved ones and when to keep your mouth shut.
All the time, of course, you’re praying for them.

God deals with families

Many people are confused about Acts 16:31:……….. Believe on the Lord Jesus
Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.” Other translation reads ….and thy
house if they believe.” You see you’re going to have to get them to believe.
 Ministering to Your Family

In Acts 16, the Philippian jailer got saved. He was the head of his house. Once he
got saved, he began to do what the Bible says to do: he began to pray and set the
right example in front of his household –and they got saved. That’s all there is to it.
I never doubted that my whole household would be saved –by this I mean my
immediate family. My wife was already saved when we were married, and later we
had two children. The taught never occurred to me that my children wouldn’t be
saved. I knew they would. God does deal with families, and the man should take
the lead if he doesn’t, then the wife will have to. But most of the time, when the
man becomes a Christian, walks with God, is the head of the house, prays, and has
family devotion, his family will all follow him.
Even though we don’t have a lot of scriptures for it, I thoroughly believe that God
deals with families. In the Old Testament, God dealt more with individuals, and we
know that under the New Testament He still deals with primarily with individuals.
However, because God instituted the family, He also deals with families.

Claiming Relatives
When it comes to “claiming’’ your family, you must do certain things. For example,
you must train up a child in the way he should go, Proverbs, 22:6 tells us. You must
bring a child up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We see in Ephesians 6:4.
Paul said to Timothy “…..that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures,”…
(2 Tim. 3:15) .How did timothy know then? He had to be taught them by his family.
When it comes to an unsaved husband or wife, you can’t always claim that spouse’s
salvation. If you could, Paul would have said so when he wrote to the church at
Corinth.
What did Paul say? “And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and
if he be PLEASED to dwell with her, let her not leave him…. But if the unbelieving
depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases…..”
(1cor. 7;13,15.).
“Pleased to dwell with her” (or him) means to live with as a husband or wife ----not
to run around with everybody in the country.
If you could always claim an unsaved loved one’s salvation. Paul would have said
so right here, because he was writing on inspiration of the Holy Spirit. Young
people trying to minister to their unsaved parents also need to be led by the Spirit.
 Ministering to Your Family

I Know children and teenagers who got saved caused a division between themselves
and their parents because they pushed things too fast and hard in witnessing.

The Role of the will

You can be interested in others and be burdened for them, but you can’t lay down
ironclad rules and say, “You can claim somebody else’s salvation.” Just because
you want them to be saved. Of course, we want everybody to be saved, but that
other person has something to do with it. A person’s will is involved in accepting
or rejecting Christ.
Once the power of the devil is broken over people and they’re free to make a choice,
they will usually make the right choice. If their mind is blinded, of course, they
can’t make the right choice. But normally, people will come to the Lord once
Satan’s power over them is broken. You can’t say it will happen one hundred
percent of time, however, because some people willfully won’t follow the Lord!
So we do have guidelines, and most of the time you can discover them by studying
the word. Where there are no guidelines, you must depend on what the Spirit of
God tells you to do. But check your motives.
Let the Lord send whom He wills across your saved loved ones’ parts. Some
people are more experts at soul winning than others. I’ve notice that many who are
preaching the full gospel today didn’t get saved in full Gospel circles; they got saved
in fundamentalist or other circles. Later they began to see the light on baptism in
the Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues, and they moved into full Gospel cycles.

The main thing is to get people saved and get them into heaven! whether they get
healed or not, they can go to heaven if they’re saved. In other words, you can go to
heaven with a sick body, but you can’t go to heaven with sin-sick spirit. And once
you’re saved, you can go to heaven whether or not you have the baptism in the Holy
Spirt.
Salvation is the important thing!
Ministering to Your Family