The Skills Training Manual for RO DBT Radical Openness Handout 11.

Radical Openness Handout 11.1

Overcontrolled States of Mind

When one is challenged, OC states of mind emerge

Fixed Mind Fatalistic Mind

Change is unnecessary, Change is unnecessary,
because I already know because there is no answer.
the answer.
The captain of the Titanic, after hitting
It is like being the captain of the first iceberg, retreats to his cabin, locks
the Titanic and your motto is “Full speed the door, and refuses to help steer the ship
ahead, icebergs be damned!” to safety, determine the next course of
action, or, if necessary, help passengers
safely abandon ship.

Flexible-Mind
Synthesis is Flexible Mind
The captain of the ship is open to feedback
and willing to change course or reduce speed when
icebergs are sighted, without abandoning ship or
turning completely around at the first sign of trouble.

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The Skills Training Manual for RO DBT Radical Openness Handout 11.2

Radical Openness Handout 11.2

Being Kind to Fixed Mind
Step 1. When challenged, observe emotions, action urges, and thoughts that may be linked to Fixed Mind.

• Feeling irritated, resentful, indignant, spiteful, paranoid, frustrated, anxious, nervous, angry, numb, frozen, or
empty; urges to quickly explain, justify oneself, or discount what is happening

• Thinking that it would be morally wrong for others to question your point of view, confident you know the
answer or that the other person is mistaken, unethical, misguided, or wrong

Step 2. Acknowledge the possibility of being in Fixed Mind.

• Physical tension in the body means feeling threatened. When threatened, we either fight or flee. Fixed
Mind is our “fighter”—it can help keep us protected but it can keep us stuck.

• Use self-enquiry to facilitate self-awareness; see worksheet 11.A (Being Kind to Fixed Mind) for examples.

• Acknowledge that you are fighting or resisting something, without mindlessly letting go of your point of
view.

• Gently remember that when in Fixed Mind, your thoughts, emotions, urges, and sensations are determined
by your past learning.

• Remind yourself that Fixed Mind alerts us to those things in our life we need to be more open to in order
to improve ourselves or learn.

Step 3. Don’t try to fix Fixed Mind; be kind instead.

• Practice being open to what is happening in this moment. Let go of assuming you have the correct answer
while encouraging yourself to be more open. Use handout 22.1 (Being Open to Feedback from Others: Flexible
Mind ADOPTS) to help yourself be more open to the feedback and determine if you should adopt it.

• Change physiology: Closed-mouth smile while breathing deeply; use eyebrow wags.

• Rather than resisting, fixing, or defending your Fixed Mind, allow it to be. Open and soften to the experi-
ence of Fixed Mind and give yourself time to discover what your Fixed Mind might be saying. You never know
what you might learn. Trying to fix or control Fixed Mind is like criticizing yourself for being too self-critical—it
just doesn’t work.

• Use a loving kindness practice by repeating silently to yourself: May my Fixed Mind find peace, may my Fixed
Mind be content, may my Fixed Mind be safe and secure.

• Forgive yourself for being in Fixed Mind; remember that we all have a Fixed Mind.

© Thomas R. Lynch. Permission is granted to the reader to reproduce this form for personal use.
The Skills Training Manual for RO DBT Radical Openness Handout 11.3

Radical Openness Handout 11.3

Learning from Fatalistic Mind
Step 1. When challenged, observe emotions, action urges, and thoughts that may be linked to Fatalistic Mind.

• Feeling unappreciated, invalidated, misunderstood, helpless like a small child, like a martyr, or like a victim
AND/OR resentful, bitter, or cynical about change AND/OR numbed out or shut down

• Thinking that everything will be fine, despite repeated feedback that there is a serious problem needing your
attention. Believing that change is impossible (“Why bother?”), that others must change first before you can,
or magically hoping problems will disappear

• Having secret urges to punish the person suggesting change; a desire to pout, cry, walk away, deny, or to make
unrealistic promises for self-improvement in order to stop the feedback

Step 2. Acknowledge the possibility of being in Fatalistic Mind by remembering that Fatalistic Mind is the oppo-
site of resisting or fighting.

• Fatalistic Mind is our “escape artist.” Rather than openly resisting or fighting, abandonment is its solu-
tion. It thrives on denial and self-deception; it allows us to feel justified when we walk away, virtuous for giving
up, or to avoid admitting we are avoiding something.

• Fatalistic Mind is not bad. Nonjudgmental awareness of Fatalistic Mind can help us recognize times when we
are pushing ourselves too hard or may need to grieve a loss, as well as alert us to areas in our life that require
change.

Step 3. Listen and learn from Fatalistic Mind by using the following skills.

• Take the first step by acknowledging you don’t want to (take the first step). Admit that you are choosing to
operate from Fatalistic Mind—no one can force you to behave fatalistically.

• Welcome despair, anxiety, and hopelessness as teachers, not enemies. Greet them as helpful guides who
are preparing you for new learning. Go opposite to desires to numb out or give up. Open your mind to what
your pain might be trying to tell you.

• Let go of longing for the world to change or secretly hoping that the problem will go away. Accept respon-
sibility for creating your own reality. Practice recognizing the possibility of growth in each moment.

• Remember, Fatalistic Mind does not mean that you are necessarily doing anything wrong—you may be
working too hard and need a rest and/or you may need to grieve a loss. Alternatively, Fatalistic Mind may also
be alerting you to something important that needs to change in your life, something you don’t want to acknowl-
edge. Take the time to listen to your Fatalistic Mind. What is its message?

• Turn your mind toward your predicament. Closed-mouth smile, eyebrow wag, and breathe deeply while
thinking about the problem or feedback your Fatalistic Mind has labeled unsolvable.

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The Skills Training Manual for RO DBT Radical Openness Handout 11.3

• Turn your mind to the possibility of change and listen fully to the feedback using handout 22.1 (Being Open
to Feedback from Others: Flexible Mind ADOPTS).

• Clarify the steps needed to solve the problem and then take the first step. Focus on mindfully taking one
step at a time and block worries about the future. Remember past successes.

• Fatalistic Mind thrives on secrecy. Take the power away from Fatalistic Mind by revealing to the other
person your urges to pout, stonewall, or give up. Stop blaming others for “making” you miserable. Go all the
way opposite action to Fatalistic Mind by admitting to yourself (and others) how you contributed to the
problem, and then actively take steps to solve it.

• Remember that rejecting help from others keeps you stuck in Fatalistic Mind. Practice allowing others to
assist you, thank them for their help, and look for ways to actively reciprocate.

• Forgive yourself for operating from Fatalistic Mind (see lesson 29).
The Skills Training Manual for RO DBT Radical Openness Handout 11.4

Radical Openness Handout 11.4

Main Points for Lesson 11: Mindfulness Training, Part 1
Overcontrolled States of Mind
1. Problematic states of mind for overcontrolled individuals are most often closed-minded.

2. These states function to block learning from new information or disconfirming feedback and can negatively impact
interpersonal relationships.

3. A closed mind is a threatened mind. Though frequently triggered by nonemotional predispositions for detail-
focused processing and inhibitory control, OC problematic states of mind are emotionally driven.

4. Fixed Mind signals that change is unnecessary because I already know the answer. Fixed Mind is like the captain
of the Titanic, who, despite repeated warnings, insists, “Full speed ahead, and icebergs be damned.”

5. Fatalistic Mind says change is unnecessary because there is no answer. Fatalistic Mind is like the captain of the
Titanic, who, after hitting the fatal iceberg, retreats to his cabin, locks the door, and refuses to help passengers
abandon ship.

6. Flexible Mind represents a more open, receptive, and flexible means of responding. It is like a ship captain who is
willing to forgo previous plans and change course or reduce speed when icebergs are sighted. There is no abandon-
ing ship or turning completely around at the first sign of trouble.

© Thomas R. Lynch. Permission is granted to the reader to reproduce this form for personal use.
The Skills Training Manual for RO DBT Radical Openness Worksheet 11.A

Radical Openness Worksheet 11.A

Being Kind to Fixed Mind
Step 1. Describe a challenging situation linked to Fixed Mind behaviors.

What behaviors, thoughts, action urges, and emotions did you notice?

Step 2. Acknowledge Fixed Mind via self-enquiry.

Check the box next to the items you found helpful, and record your answers or other questions you used in the space
provided.

† Am I finding it hard to question my point of view or even engage in self-enquiry?

† Do I find myself wanting to automatically explain, defend, or discount the other person’s feedback or what is
happening?

† Has my rate of speech changed? What is driving me to respond so quickly or to pick my words so carefully?

† Am I discounting the feedback to purposefully displease or punish someone? If so, what does this tell me about my level
of openness?

† Am I resisting being open to this feedback because part of me believes that doing so will change an essential part of who
I am?

† Am I able to truly pause and consider the possibility that I may be wrong or may need to change?

† Am I saying to myself, “I know I am right,” no matter what they say or how things seem?

† Do I believe that further self-examination is unnecessary, because I have already worked out the problem, know the
answer, or have done the necessary self-work about the issue being discussed?

† What am I afraid might happen if I were to momentarily drop my perspective?

© Thomas R. Lynch. Permission is granted to the reader to reproduce this form for personal use.
The Skills Training Manual for RO DBT Radical Openness Worksheet 11.A

Step 3. Go opposite to Fixed Mind.

Place a checkmark in the boxes next to the skills you practiced.

† Practiced mindful awareness of bodily sensations linked to Fixed Mind (for example, muscle tension, numb-
ness, flushed face, heart racing) rather than automatically discounting, ignoring, or denying their potential
significance.

† Opened and softened to emotions linked to Fixed Mind (such as embarrassment, irritability, anger, indigna-
tion) rather than immediately trying to fix them or pretend they were not there.

† Allowed myself to fully consider the possibility that I was incorrect or misinformed, and/or that “my way”
might not work, without harsh self-blame or immediate abandonment of my prior beliefs.

† Allowed myself time (for example, a day) to mindfully examine my responses, emotions, and urges to correct,
improve, plan, or fix the situation before actually doing anything.

† Reminded myself that there is always something new to learn because the world is in constant change.

† Went opposite to Fixed Mind rigidity by relaxing my body and face, using half smiles, eyebrow wags, slow
breathing, and sitting back.

† Tried out something small that was related to the new behavior or way of thinking.

† Reminded myself that you have to crack an egg to make an omelet—that new learning requires breaking down
old ways of thinking or doing.

† Reminded myself that exhibiting a strong preference does not mean that one is necessarily closed-minded or
operating from Fixed Mind.

† Practiced loving my Fixed Mind instead of judging or fixing it. For example, repeated silently three times to
myself: May my Fixed Mind find peace. May my Fixed Mind be happy. May my Fixed Mind be safe and secure.

† Forgave myself for being in Fixed Mind while resolving to be more open and flexible.

Other skills and comments.

The Skills Training Manual for RO DBT Radical Openness Worksheet 11.B

Radical Openness Worksheet 11.B

Going Opposite to Fatalistic Mind
Step 1. Describe a challenging situation linked to Fatalistic Mind behaviors.

What behaviors, thoughts, action urges, and emotions did you notice?

Step 2. Acknowledge Fatalistic Mind via self-enquiry.

Check the boxes next to the items you found helpful, and record your answers or other questions you used in the
space provided.

† Do I feel like shutting down, quitting, or giving up?

† Do I feel invalidated, unappreciated, or treated as not “special” by the person giving me feedback, yet choose not to tell
them?

† Do I secretly believe that the other person must change, rather than me?

† Do I secretly hope that any change efforts will fail because it will prove that I was right in believing that change is
impossible, because there is no answer?

† Do I feel strong urges to acquiesce simply to avoid conflict rather than because I actually agree?

† Do I fantasize that the problem will somehow magically go away if I do nothing?

† Do I secretly want to punish the other person by pouting, being silent, or withdrawing?

† Am I acting like I am hurt or fragile in order to stop the feedback and avoid dealing with the situation?

† Do I think that everything will be fine, despite repeated feedback that there is a serious problem needing my
attention?

© Thomas R. Lynch. Permission is granted to the reader to reproduce this form for personal use.
The Skills Training Manual for RO DBT Radical Openness Worksheet 11.B

Step 3. Go opposite to Fatalistic Mind.

Place a checkmark in the boxes next to the skills you practiced.

† Practiced mindful awareness of bodily sensations linked to Fatalistic Mind (for example, muscle tension, numb-
ness, flushed face, heart racing) rather than automatically discounting, ignoring, or denying their potential
significance.

† Gently reminded myself that Fatalistic Mind is a learned behavior.

† Closed-mouth smiled, eyebrow wagged, and took slow deep breaths while thinking about the problem that
Fatalistic Mind wanted to avoid.

† Turned my mind toward the problem while opening and softening to the uncomfortable sensations in my body.

† Remembered that when I reject help from others, I may keep myself stuck in Fatalistic Mind

† Turned my mind away from thoughts telling me that I couldn’t do it or that the problem was insolvable.
Reminded myself that I am competent and have solved many problems in the past.

† Let go of rigid beliefs that I must do everything myself. Remembered that asking for help doesn’t mean I am
incompetent.

† Blocked self-invalidation or self-blame and turned to work on the problem in a flexible and easy manner.

† Took responsibility by acknowledging that I am choosing to behave fatalistically rather than blaming Fatalistic
Mind on others or the world.

† Let go of desires for the world to change or for the problem to go away and instead looked for ways I might
change.

† Went opposite to urges to pout, shut down, stonewall, sabotage, or take revenge and directly communicated
my concern to the other person and took responsibility for how I was feeling.

† Clarified what I needed to attend to in order to solve the problem.

† Determined the steps that needed to be taken to solve the problem.

† Took the first step toward solving the problem and practiced one thing at a time.

† Forgave myself for operating from Fatalistic Mind.

Other skills and comments.