Fabian Kasukula

Vocational Teacher Mbeya RVTSC

GOOD INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP AND EFFECTIVE

COMMUNICATION

Unit No 2.1 Good Interpersonal Relationship

Element 2.1.1 Building and Maintaining Trust

Introduction
Effective interpersonal relationship has several advantages, among them it leads to
building and maintaining trust to individuals.

The meaning of interpersonal relationship

An interpersonal relationship is a relatively long-term association between two or more
people. This association may be based on emotions like love and liking, regular business
interactions, or some other type of social commitment.

Interpersonal relationships take place in a great variety of contexts, such as family,

friends, marriage, acquaintances, work, clubs, neighborhoods, and churches. They may be
regulated by law, custom, or mutual agreement, and are the basis of social groups and society as
a whole. Intimate relationships are one type of interpersonal relationship.

Interpersonal relationships are dynamic systems that change continuously during their
existence. Like living organisms, relationships have a beginning, a lifespan, and an end. They
tend to grow and improve gradually, as people get to know each other and become closer
emotionally, or they gradually deteriorate as people drift apart and form new relationships with
others.

Examples of good and bad interpersonal relationship

A good strong relationship is a wonderful thing, it makes you happy, and it contributes to
your emotional growth because it teaches you how to be close to someone.

Examples of Good Interpersonal Relationship

 Family relationship
 Husband and wife relationship
 Parent and Child relationship
 Extended family relationship
 Social Groups/ Economic Oriented Groups
 Sports Groups
 Work oriented/ Task oriented
 Provides an opportunity to ask questions and support fellow participants.
 Allows us to look at our own attitudes, skills and knowledge
 Provides an opportunity to improve our performance.

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Vocational Teacher Mbeya RVTSC

Examples of Bad Interpersonal Relationship

 Abusive relationship
 Groups with risky behaviors e.g. smoking, drinking, multiple sexual partners etc.
 Groups of Gangsters such as thieves, robbers
 Witchcraft practitioners

There may be times when someone you thought was a friend turns out not to be a good
friend. E.g. when a friend reveals your secret to others, or spread nasty rumors about you, he/she
is not acting as what a friend should.

In such cases, tell to the friend to stop that behavior and where the friend does not stop
you better stay away and make other friends.

Illustrations on the effect of healthy and unhealthy interpersonal relationship

Although human beings are fundamentally social creatures, interpersonal relationships
are not always healthy.

Healthy relationships
- Healthy relationships help people feel good, solve problems and overcome challenges,
help each other, share new ideas and dreams for the future
- Healthy relationship consists of mutual liking, trust, respect, harmony, and often even
love is unconditional
- Healthy relationship can also lead to marriage and establishment of common ground
between the individuals and last longer
- People in healthy relationship maintain fairness and equity in their relationships.

Unhealthy relationship
 Unhealthy interpersonal relationship always leads to problems and does not last longer
 It leads to anxious, stress, depression and codependence

Principles to maintain good interpersonal relationship

There are various principles that assist in maintaining good Interpersonal Relationship
these include:
 Respect this can be shown through attitudes and behaviors, listening carefully to what is
being said, and how it is presented, name-calling.
 Being aware of the aim or purpose of the interpersonal relationship.
 Genuineness shown through verbal and non-verbal behaviors communication or actions.
 Honest with those whom you have a relationship. e.g. when things are not going on well
or when things need attention.

Communication reveals how an individual feels about another person

Verbal communication refers to talking while non-verbal communication refers to the use
of body language, posture or facial expressions. It is expressed by smiling, frowning,
nodding, can easily be captured by attentive listening and observing.

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Vocational Teacher Mbeya RVTSC

 Most people tend to spend more time talking than listening. Listening is a skill that takes
time to develop and needs to be practiced
 Giving and receiving feedback, evaluating periodically the type of relationships and
assessing whether the relationships is good or has some challenges or limitations and
jointly develop strategies for sorting out constructively
 Acknowledging that each individual is unique, special and worthwhile
 Accepting individual abilities, talents and limitations
 Interdependency –people need each other no one lives completely independent
 Empathy –understanding another person’s position, seeing the situation from another
person’s point of view, it shows a deeper understanding
 Values and Attitudes- friendships are often based on similarities in values. Values can
change over time; pressure to change the value may jeopardize a relationship
 Knowing your rights- don’t force to stay into the relationship which does not make you
happy. Discuss on what can be done.

Element 2.1.2 Building Team Work Spirit

Introduction
Teamwork spirit is creating a work culture that values collaboration. Whenever the
environment in a team work is warm, open and friendly it leads to tremendous outputs in
achieving a goal.

The meaning of team work spirit

Fostering teamwork spirit is creating a work culture that values collaboration. In a
teamwork environment, people understand and believe that thinking, planning, decisions and
actions are better when done cooperatively. People recognize, and even assimilate, the belief that
“none of us is as good as all of us.”

In real life, team work success rarely happens by itself, without focused team building
efforts and activities. You can, however, create a teamwork culture by doing just a few things
right, although there are hard things to do, but with commitment and appreciation for the value,
you can create an overall sense of teamwork in your organization.

The more an individual sees a benefit from supporting the team, the more successful team
building efforts will be.

Advantages of Team Work Spirit

View teams as a great way to bring together people who are not sharing the same office
Though team work and team building can offer many challenges, the pay off by a high
performance
Team is worth
Many view team-based, organization structures as the best design for involving all
members in creating activities success.

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Vocational Teacher Mbeya RVTSC

Disadvantages of Team Work Spirit

 Different personalities, instead of complementing and balancing each other, may build up
conflicts.
 Some people with similar personalities may start fighting for authority and dominance in
certain areas of expertise
 Even if the team goals are clear and accepted by everyone, there may be no team
commitment to the group goals or no consensus on the means of achieving those goals
 Individuals in the team may just follow their personal opinions and move in conflicting
directions
 There may be a lack of trust and openness that blocks the critical communication and
leads to loss of coordination in the individual efforts.

Strategies to build team work spirit

Team building skills are critical for your effectiveness as a manager or entrepreneur. And
even if you are not in a management or leadership role yet, better understanding of team work
can make you a more effective employee and give you an extra edge in your corporate office.

 A team building success is when your team can accomplish something much bigger and
work more effectively than a group of the same individuals working on their own. But
there are two critical factors in building a high performance team.
 Team effectiveness is the diversity of skills and personalities
 When people use their strengths in full, but can compensate for each other's weaknesses
 When different personality types balance and complement each other

Critical element of team work success is that all the team efforts are directed towards the
same clear goals. The team goals; this relies heavily on good communication in the team and the
harmony in member relationships, to achieve this:

 Make sure that the team goals are totally clear and completely understood and accepted
by each team member
 Make sure there is complete clarity in who is responsible for what and avoid overlapping
authority.

For example if there is a risk that two team members will be competing for control in
certain area, try to divide that area into two distinct parts and give each more complete control in
one of those parts, according to those individual's strengths and personal inclinations.

 Build trust with your team members by spending one-on-one time in an atmosphere of
honesty and openness. Be loyal to your colleagues, if you expect the same
 Allow your fellow team members build trust and openness between each other in team
building activities and events. Give them some opportunities of extra social time with
each other in an atmosphere that encourages open communication.
 For issues that rely heavily on the team consensus and commitment, try to involve the
whole team in the decision making process. e.g. via group goal setting or group sessions
with collective discussions of possible decision options or solution ideas.

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Vocational Teacher Mbeya RVTSC

 What you want to achieve here is that each team member feels his or her ownership in
the final decision, solution, or idea. And the more he or she feels this way, the more
likely he or she is to agree with and commit to the decided line of action, the more you
build team commitment to the goals and decisions
 When managing teams, make sure there are no blocked lines of communications and you
and other people are kept fully informed
 Be careful with interpersonal issues, recognize them early and deal with them in full
 Don't miss opportunities to empower your employees. Say thank you or show
appreciation of an individual team player's work
 Don't limit yourself to constructive feedback, be fare. Whenever there is an opportunity,
give positive feedback as well.

Unit No 2.2 Effective Interpersonal Communication

Element 2.2.1 Enhancing Effective Interpersonal Communication

Introduction
There are different types of communication; however interpersonal communication is
among them. This is the approaches that directly involve human interactions on daily basis.

Meaning of Interpersonal Communication

Communication is the process of exchanging information. Information is conveyed as
words, tone of voice, and body language.

Interpersonal communication is the process that we use to communicate our ideas,

thoughts, and feelings to another person. Our interpersonal communication skills are learned
behaviors that can be improved through knowledge, practice, feedback, and reflection.

Purposes of interpersonal communication

 Give Information, Education and Communication (IEC)
 Behavior Change Communication (BCC)
 Persuade/Negotiate/Promote/Mobilize/ Advocacy
 Educate while entertaining Enter- Educate
 Counsel, Guide

Types of Communication
The types of communication can be broadly classified as verbal communication and non-
verbal communication. Verbal communication is further divided into oral and written
communication.

Verbal communication includes written and oral communication whereas the non-verbal
communication includes body language, facial expressions, visuals diagrams or pictures used for
communication

The oral communication refers to the spoken words in the communication process. Oral
communication can either be face-to-face communication or a conversation over the phone or on

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the voice chat over the Internet. Spoken conversations or dialogs are influenced by voice
modulation, pitch, volume and even the speed and clarity of speaking. The written
communication can be either via snail mail, or email. The effectiveness of written
communication depends on the style of writing, vocabulary used, grammar, clarity and precision
of language

Non verbal Communication Non-verbal communication includes the overall body

language of the person who is speaking, which will include the body posture, the hand gestures,
and overall body movements. The facial expressions also play a major role while communication
since the expressions on a person’s face say a lot about his/her mood.

On the other hand gestures like a handshake, a smile or a hug can independently convey
emotions. Non verbal communication can also be in the form of pictorial representations,
signboards, or even photographs, sketches and paintings. Based on the style of communication,
there can be two broad categories of communication, which are formal and informal
communication that have their own set of characteristics or features

Formal Communication - Formal communication includes all the instances where

communication has to occur in a set formal format. Typically this can include all sorts of
business communication or corporate communication.

The style of communication

In this form is very formal and official. Official conferences, meetings and written
memos and corporate letters are used for communication
Formal communication can also occur between two strangers when they meet for the first time.
Hence formal communication is straightforward, official and always precise and has a stringent
and rigid tone to it

Informal Communication - Informal communication includes instances of free

unrestrained communication between people who share a casual rapport with each other.
Informal communication requires two people to have a similar wavelength and hence occurs
between friends and family.

Informal communication does not have any rigid rules and guidelines. Informal
conversations need not necessarily have boundaries of time, place or even subjects for that
matter since we all know that friendly chats with loved ones can simply go on and on

Components of communication
The components of communication process include:
 The message (idea); the message has three components namely the:
Content - is simply communicating what you desire to communicate.
Context - involves adapting your presentation of the content to your audience.
Treatment - is the arrangement or ordering of the content by the speaker.
The treatment directly supports the context and content of the message.

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Vocational Teacher Mbeya RVTSC

 Sender (source)
The sender has to be aware of six variables when communicating with another person.
Sender’s Communication Skills, Attitudes, Knowledge Level, Social Position, Culture
and Feedback received by Sender

Channel - There are two types of channels: Sensory channels are based on the five senses of
sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste. Social scientists have found the sender

 is more likely to gain the receiver’s attention if the sender uses two or more sensory
channels to send information
Institutional channels are the chosen methods of disseminating information—face-to-face
conversation, printed materials, and electronic media.

Each institutional medium requires one or more of the sensory channels to carry the
message from the sender to the receiver. e.g., when we have a face-to-face conversation
(an institutional medium), we use sight (gestures, expressions), sound (voice), and
possibly touch, smell, and taste

 Receiver
The receiver of the information has to use the same skill set as the sender.
If the receiver perceives the sender as credible, objective, and having expertise in the topic being
discussed, then the receiver is more likely to accept the message being sent. Therefore, the
sender must have the expertise or find someone with the topical expertise to communicate the
message.

For effective communication to happen, one must communicate both what she/he knows
and what one does not know. Remember the goal of communication is for the receiver to accept
an accurate message from the sender. This does not mean the receiver will agree with the
message, rather than the receiver accurately understands the message

Feedback is the return message from the receiver to the sender that shows whether the
communication has been effective (desired) or ineffective (undesired)

Factors Facilitating or Hindering Effective Interpersonal Communication

A. Factors facilitating Effective Interpersonal Communication
 Acknowledge communications
 Provide information accordingly
 Provide information when asked
 Repeat, as necessary, to ensure communication is accurately received
 Use standard terminology when communicating information
 Request and provide clarification when needed
 Ensure statements are direct and unambiguous
 Inform the appropriate individuals when the mission or plans change
 Communicate all information needed by those individuals.
 Use nonverbal communication appropriately
 Use proper order when communicating information

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Vocational Teacher Mbeya RVTSC

Active listening
Perspective taking
Understanding the message
Maintaining neutrality
Understanding positions vs. interests, and managing one’s emotions.
Through effective listening, the receiver can grasp the context of the message being sent
by the sender.

B. Factors hindering Effective Interpersonal Communication

Barriers are influencing factors which impede or Break down the continuous
communications loop. They block, distort, or alter the information. By identifying the barriers
and applying countermeasures, team members can effectively communicate they include:
 Non-assertive behavior
 Inappropriate priorities
 Organizational structure
 Distractions like noises
 Interruptions
 Rank differences
 Task-preoccupation Anger or frustration
 Personal bias
 Team diversity
 Lack of confidence
 Age
 Lack of time
 Gender
 Status of the person
 Language
 Lack of information about the subject matter that he/she want to communicate
 On the other hand too much information may be a problem.

Skills for effective interpersonal communication

In order to communicate effectively you need the following skills:
 Listening
Listen carefully, sustain eye contact, and avoid fidgeting, show concern and
responsiveness by nodding, smiling and use of encouragers such as “aha” “mm”
“O.K”
Effective listening involves using skills like listen with empathy, ask the right
question, be patient, give right body language and summarize

 Paraphrasing
This is restating the message or explanation in your own words without changing
the meaning to make sure you understand. This supports and encourages the
person to continue speaking

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Vocational Teacher Mbeya RVTSC

 Clarifying
When talking to a person there are circumstances when certain issues are not clear
to either party, Clarifying unclear points can enhance effective communication
(e.g. by asking, “Do you mean ………..?) or provide facts (e.g. “No, HIV is not
transmitted by eating from the same dishes”)

 Summarizing
This is restating in short form, picking up the important or main messages and not
interpreting.

 Using simple language

Avoid technical terms to make your client comfortable and prevent
misunderstanding and encourage questions.

 Probing
This is skill of asking questions which you can use to help the other person talk
more about himself/ herself more clearly and in-depth.

 Asking open-ended questions

Which will direct the client to provide descriptive answers rather than just “yes”
or “no”?

 Repeating information saying what the other person has said in his or her own words
makes the client feel that you are listening and are concerned about what she/he says.
Likewise, you have sometimes to repeat what you yourself have said

 Tone of Voice
This is the use of audible clear voice and change of the tone of the voice
according to the situation.

 Feedback Giving
Feedback is giving information on what you have observed and not your
interpretation.

 Asking questions
We ask questions in order to get information, clarify a point or confirm what we
have heard. There are open-ended questions and close-ended ones.

Open ended questions give a person opportunity to express him freely and make it easier for you
to identify their needs and priorities. Close ended questions are used for giving specific answers,
mostly “yes” or “no”. e.g. “How old are you?” “Are your married?.

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Vocational Teacher Mbeya RVTSC

Element 2.2.2 Giving and Receiving Feedback

Introduction
Effective communication is a process which is accomplished by receiving feedback. This
element will cover meaning and importance of giving and receiving feedback to individual in
different situation.

Meaning and importance of giving and receiving feedback

i) Meaning of feedback
 Is an approach of giving or receiving information about a behavior in a non-threatening
way to help a person realize his/her strengths and limitations
 A way of helping another person understanding how his or her behaviors / actions can
affect other person(s).

ii) Importance of feedback

- To help a person build trust and confidence.
- Acknowledge strengths and work on limitations or challenges.
- Constructively helping a person to learn how to solve a problem without being
defensive.
- Developing a common understanding.
- Providing information that will facilitate In taking appropriate action.

Principles to adhere when giving feedback

Prepare what feedback you want to give (if possible write it on a piece of paper)
Ask the person or a group of people about their readiness to receive feedback
Always begin with positive feedback.
Feedback is more effective when given close to the time of the incident (timely)
Focus on specific behavior –do not generalize. Be concrete.
Describe rather than evaluating behavioral actions that can be changed.
Do not judge provide both positive and constructive feedback appropriately.
Own the feedback use “I” statements e.g. “this” is how I feel about it rather than
“you”.
Doesn’t overload- be aware of how much the person can receive now.
Don’t dump feedback should be presented to be useful
Don’t give advice unless it is requested
Matters resolved in feedback should be followed up by individuals/group/concerned
(takes responsibility)
Feedback should be checked out to ensure that it was correctly understood

Principles to adhere when receiving feedback

 Ask for feedback timely
 Have a piece of paper to note down points for discussion
 Listen attentively e.g. give the giver time to finish talking instead of jumping in between
sentences. This will assist you to hear the meaning, content and feeling
 Paraphrase check back with the sender
 Seek clarification politely

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Vocational Teacher Mbeya RVTSC

 Use open ended questions e.g. How? What? Rather than Why?
 Try not to be defensive but internalize what is being given to you e.g.” I did it because”
 Don’t react angrily as this will be a barrier in continuing to receive constructive feedback
next time. The giver will hesitate to correct you
 Respond when comfortable in the same session or the following session
 Take responsibility of following up matters resolved in feedback for behavioral or action
change
 Give thanks to the feedback giver

Johari window and its relation to feedback

JOHARI represent two names that are Joan and Harrison. These were scientists/
psychologists who studied the behavior of human being and discovered that a human being has
four presentations or behaviors which they termed it as windows. This was the beginning of
JOHARI window human behavior model.

The windows were named as open, blind, hidden and unknown. Open window this refers
to the behaviors that an individual and other people surrounding him are aware or know their
behaviors or actions. The open window represents a situation where there is no secret and that
everything is open at you and others know it as well.

e.g. your talents, likes and dislikes, some of your values, perceptions and attitudes, habits
like smoking, volunteerism. These are people who are transparent and usually ready to receive or
give feedback

Blind window we all know the blind people. These individuals don’t see, but other people
see whatever they are doing for example going into the ditch or at a danger area. Unless you
guide them so that they can correct their way. Blind people are unaware of their behaviors or
actions at times they do it unknowingly.

E.g. being unaware of how your body functions, unless somebody empowers you with
knowledge information or facts so that you can open your mind or window. Usually through
constructive feedback, People with blind window (behavior) move to an open window because
they become aware and see

Hidden window we all know that when a person hide something somewhere. Without showing
another person, no one will know where it is hidden unless the same person deliberately
discloses. Individual with a hidden window personality is the one who usually known to keep
secrets to themselves. They don’t want another person to know their internal things secrets.
“Usually they keep quite (hide)

E.g. they plan for things like suicide, rape; they don’t want their weakness to be known
by others. They can even camouflage to mask their real behavior, through constructive feedback
the feeling of fear, worries the person has will be challenged to stop hiding and face the reality or
solve the hidden problem and again join an open window if applicable, as it should be
acknowledged that everyone is a unique person

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Vocational Teacher Mbeya RVTSC

Unknown window in this window everything is unknown to an individual him/herself

and others too. Actions which a human being does not know when it will happen and therefore
he/she cannot prevent it .e.g. deaths, flood, earthquake and war

Therefore JOHARI window model when applied appropriately in giving and receiving
feedback constructively can facilitate individuals or groups to have positive or healthy behaviors.
Known by others Known by self Known by others Not- known by self.

JOHARI window MODEL

KNOWN BY ONE-SELF NOT KNOWN BY ONESELF
KNOWN BY OTHERS
OPEN AREA BLIND AREA

NOT-KNOWN BY
OTHERS SECRET/ HIDDEN AREA UNKNOWN AREA

Unit No 2.3 Peer Pressure

Element 2.3.1 Drug and Substance Abuse a Challenge to Peer Pressure

Introduction
Many individuals start using drug and substances which include alcohol and smoking due
to the influence of peer pressure.

Meaning of peer pressure

Belonging to a group which shares similarities in age, sex and life experiences is
common to all age groups. Peer pressure is a situation or a condition imposed on an individual to
follow the decisions of a group which one belongs.

Peers belong to the same age group, share similar experiences and have a common
language which helps them understand each other easily. They empathize and trust each other.
This can lead to being pressured positively or negatively or negatively to the demands of the
group.

Examples of peer pressure and their relationship to behaviours

1. The groups you belong decide to pair into Boy and Girlfriend. This can make you decide
to enter into in an unhealthy relationship which can lead you to other relations like sex
outside marriage. We must first and always be true to ourselves and make decisions that
are good for us
2. A group of adolescents taking alcohol or drugs and pressurizing you to act the same. This
may change your behavior if you decide taking drugs or drinking alcohol.

3. Having a peer group of people with multiple wives-polygamy. If they force you to agree
and get marital status from monogamy to polygamy.

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Strategies of coping with negative peer pressure

Most people want company when they are doing something while knowing it is not right.
They feel that the “wrongness” is somehow less if someone else is doing it with them.

When their friends do something daring with them, they feel less worried about the risks
involved. If they have company, they can just relax and enjoy the feelings the substance is giving
them that is why they can put so much pressure on you.

Strategies for coping

i) Remember that you do not have to make a friend feel good by joining him/her in
doing something that is not good for you.
ii) Be of a help to your friend by assisting him/her to know what they are doing is risky.
iii) Be clear to your friends about your reasons for not wanting to participate in the wrong
act.
iv) Walk away if your friends continue to pressurize or abuse or laugh at you.
v) Keeping off drugs; some tips from young people for staying free of drugs
vi) Get active; Get involved in activities like sports or a church group. These activities
will fill your time and will make you feel good about yourself. You will not be bored
and you will not be looking for drugs for entertainment.
vii) Be different; do not take drugs just to fit in a group. Be yourself, do what is best for
you.
viii) Respect you; don’t take drugs or alcohol to impress other people or to find the
courage to do something. Respect yourself and other people will respect you.
ix) Seek positive acceptance; Look for other groups doing things you think are
constructive like cleaning the environment or playing sports. Join such groups.
x) Have your own values; Look within you and identify your own values. Standup for
yourself and your values.
xi) Get Professional Help; Get help from counselor. It is never too late to stop abusing
substances even if you have been taking them for quite sometimes. Remember help is
available but you must take the first step of finding it.

The result of resisting negative peer pressure

i) Isolated from the group. Be ready to be isolated from a group you used to belong.
ii) Find other healthy groups to join. You may seek counseling where necessary.
iii) Name calling; this is common treatment to a member who decides to stand on their
values.
iv) Be positive and find ways to cope.
v) Loosing popularity; For those who have already gained a certain degree of popularity
they had gained earlier. This can be gained rather than compromising for a bad
behavior which is against ones values.

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