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Reflection

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34 views

Reflection

Uploaded by

mfromskz2
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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I believe that one of the main flaws about my essay is the uncertainty in the thesis

statement. Specifically, the thesis in the introductory paragraph is “Prisca Rodriquez uses

several rhetorical choices from strong, firm diction to the usage of personal experiences in order

to connect with the audience on what it means to be bilingual, as well as the importance of

having the society embrace it”. In this thesis, the topics or subpoints for the body paragraphs

are not clearly stated, considering the diction “from … to the usage of” which indicated a range

of ideas, rather than specific points. In the future, this can be changed into having a solid thesis

that brings awareness to the reader about the points that are going to be made in the essay.

For the body paragraphs, each paragraph was supposed to address the rhetorical

devices used as the speech goes on. In the first paragraph, the topic sentence was “Prisca

Mojica provides context about her identity, and what she feels about it”. Instead of providing a

specific subpoint, this topic sentence rather serves as an “introduction” into the paragraph,

which made it difficult for the analysis in there to connect back to the subpoint or the thesis. For

example, as the paragraph goes on, instead of speaking about the usage of Prisca Mojica’s

experiences, it goes another route and talks about the diction used. Though these ideas seem

valid when it comes to the techniques used in Prisca Mojica’s speech during the beginning, it

strays from the main subpoint, which was how Prisca uses her experience to have a special

effect on the audience. This can also connect back to the flaws with the thesis statement, as my

thesis statement was broad, which made it difficult to put a specific sub point within each

paragraph. Though there was an idea in mind about what to put in each paragraph, as in the

first paragraph I wanted to include her usage of her experience, it went to another topic instead.

In the future, this can be fixed by having an outline, not too specific, but enough to determine

the idea and evidence that goes in each paragraph, so it’ll be easier to use the preselected

evidence and connect it back with the ideas.


Another flaw in my essay is the analysis. In the second body paragraph, there seems to

be a set subpoint, but the analysis seems to be more driven by a summary or explanation of

what she said, rather than explaining how she used what she said in order to have a specific

effect on the audience. For example, in my essay, I wrote, “The speaker included that response

as the firmness and the lack of hesitation in it could convey that there is absolutely nothing

wrong with speaking two languages.” This was used to explain a quote, but this analysis mostly

talks about what she said or what tones she used, but didn’t explain much on the effect it had

when using this. Specifically, there could be more done on why she included this part in her

speech, or how it builds up in the entire speech. Also, this subpoint that was included in the

second body paragraph wasn’t mentioned in the thesis. Adding on, in the third body paragraph,

after mentioning a quote, another analysis/explanation I wrote was, “This makes it persuasive to

the audience and encourages them to believe in their own identity and language.” I liked the

analysis for the quote before this, as in the third paragraph, I explained what tools she is using

when she said her quote, as well as the effect it had on the reader and the speech itself.

For the last body paragraph, it is unclear what the subpoint is, as once again, the topic

sentence of it doesn’t really serve as a topic sentence, but more of a “beginning” sentence or

something that builds on to the ideas that are later presented in the paragraph. This causes the

line of reasoning to not be developed properly, as in the first sentence it says, “For the people

who have prejudices against bilingual people, she is using these connections of Spanish to her

personal life to show that her language isn’t just something she can throw away easily.” But

then, later on in the same paragraph, the ideas shift into her diction and the repetition used in

the speech. This would’ve been better off in a separate paragraph.

In conclusion, the main problem with my speech was the lack of a solid thesis statement

which should’ve been set up as a blueprint for the entire essay. This way, it is easier to avoid
straying from the topic sentence. In the future, I can also try making an outline and pick out the

evidence beforehand, so that it is the idea that I want to develop is clearly established, as well

as connected to the thesis statement.

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