Conversation Guide: Talking to someone about mental health
Spotting the signs of poor mental health - notice the changes
Physical Behavioural Emotional Cognitive
symptoms symptoms symptoms symptoms
• Headaches • Raised heart rate/ • Avoiding and blaming • Snapping at others • Irritable • Worrying about the •M
emory lapses/
• Muscle tension/ faster breathing others • Becoming more • Frightened past or future forgetting things
back ache • Changes in appetite • Eating more, eating accident prone • Worried/anxious • Racing thoughts •D
ifficulty making
• Tight jaw/ • Stomach problems less or comfort eating • Biting nails • Angry • Panic attacks decisions
grinding teeth • Using alcohol, • Feeling overwhelmed • Unable to think
• Difficulty sleeping • Self-harm • Problems
substances or smoking • Fear clearly
concentrating
• Shame
Dos and don’ts to having a supportive conversation
Do choose the Try not to multitask, Don’t assume you “No you’re not, don’t be Do reflect back is coming from. Don’t try to find Don’t diagnose
right environment it’s important to convey know the answers silly” we are invalidating and clarify Sympathy usually an easy solution
that you are dedicating what they have said. expresses pity, so say You are not in a position
Consider who else your full attention to You’re not expected If someone says something like “That must What would help to diagnose a mental
is around and can the conversation. to be an expert. If you something that isn’t clear be awful, I’m so sorry.” someone or what they illness. This is not your
potentially overhear the don’t know what to say, Don’t compare and you don’t know what Instead of “I’m sorry want to happen will be role, even if you’ve gone
conversation – if on the remember that you don’t they meant, repeat back for you” different for everyone through something
Sometimes we can draw similar yourself.
phone or online, could Do ask open need to find an answer, what they have said and so don’t try to ‘fix’ or
up a story comparing
you use headphones to questions or even understand their ask them to explain. Don’t give advice as your
their situation to someone
allow for greater privacy? feelings. Listening will let put words in their mouth. Do empower first response.
Ask them “How are else’s or your own.
Ask them: where would them know you care. the person
you today?” or “I’ve In some instances, this
you like to talk?
noticed you haven’t can show empathy, but it Do show empathy Ask: “What do you
seemed yourself lately, Don’t challenge, can also sometimes turn think would help?” rather
into you telling your story rather than
Do give your full how are you feeling?”– ignore or invalidate sympathy
than tell them what you
Sometimes making it rather than listening to think would help. Give
attention and listen them.
about the present can Don’t silver-line situations Empathic responses information rather than
without judgement prevent the ubiquitous or try to make the person advice. This makes it
show that you’re trying
Offer reassurance that “I’m fine” response. feel better. If someone to see where the person empowering.
you are there to listen. says they feel worthless
and we respond,
Signposting
Learn As a first point of call,
GPs are the main gateway
to further support. Let
You could suggest our
online community Clic.
It’s monitored 24/7,
To find support in your local
area, or if you or someone is
experiencing a crisis, visit
more about them know that they
can book a double
Find out
so it’s a great way for
people to connect with
Join Clic
www.mentalhealth-uk.
org/support-and-services/ Find
mental health
appointment with their others and get peer
GP to discuss their mental more support. for free support
health, so they don’t feel
conditions rushed. They can request
for a family member
or friend to attend the
appointment with them.
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