EMOTIONS AND EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Our emotions are powerful forces. It can either drive us into action or prevent us from taking action. It
can motivate us to pursue our dreams or remain passive. Positive emotions such as love, joy, and
happiness make us feel good, while negative emotions like anger, fear, and sadness lead us into
brooding, self-pity, and even depression.

Emotions and Its Components

Our emotions are rather complex. The emotion of anger, for instance, has biological, behavioral, and
cognitive facets. Our face feels warm and become red, our heart beats faster, muscle in our jaws get
tense, our facial expression changes and we feel like hurling harsh words toward someone who offended
us. What makes us feel that way?

Three Components of Emotion

 Physiological Aspect
 Cognitive Aspect
 Behavioral Aspect

Biological Component: Physiological Arousal

Our experience of emotion does not come suddenly. It starts with a state of arousal, a heightened activity
in both our mind and body that makes us more alert. The arousal may be intense or mild depending on the
source of arousal. Arousal starts in the brain. Emotional arousal is also a process, which means it
happens as a sequence over time.

The physiologic component of emotion is explained by several theories, including the Cannon-Bard Theory
and James-Lange Theory

Canon-Bard Theory

This was explained by Walter Bradford Cannon, an American physiologist and Philip Bard, Cannon's
doctoral student, who explain the experience of emotion as a physiological response of the thalamic region
of the brain. When emotions are provoked, the physiological arousal happens concurrently. Neither one
causes the other. The brain gets a message that causes the experience of emotion at the same time that
the autonomic nervous system gets a message that causes physiological arousal.

James-Lange Theory

By William James, an American psychologist, and Carl Lange, a Danish psychologist, develop another
theory called James-Lange Theory which claims that emotions are our interpretation of the accompanying
physiological reactions.

Behavioral Component: Emotional Expression

Every emotion finds a way of expression. People recognize what we feel by our facial expression. We smile
or laugh when we are happy. We cry or pout when sad. We tense our jaws when we are angry. However,
we sometimes do not show our emotions. Either we fear other people's reaction or we simply do not want
others to know how we feel.

Facial expression communicates our emotion. However, it can be misleading, exaggerated, or minimized.
Facial expression is universal and can even be seen in animals. Charles Darwin, an English naturalist
and geologist, popularly known for his theory of evolution, suggest that emotions and their expressions are
innate and evolutionary adaptive.
Behavioral Component: Emotional Expression

Others view emotion as culture-specific, meaning that we learn certain facial expression because it is the
one recognized or approved by our culture. Silvan Solomon Tomkins, an American psychologist and
personality theorist, suggests that emotion is the basis of human motivation and the seat of emotion is the
face. He pioneered the research demonstrating that facial expressions are associated with certain
emotional states (Tomkins and McCarter, 1964).

Cognitive Component: Subjective Labelling

There are times when physiological arousal is absent. In such case, a person decides what he or she feels
after interpreting or explaining to himself what had happened. Studies done by the American psychologist,
Richard Lazarus, have shown that the experience of emotion depends on the manner one appraises or
evaluates an event. In evaluating an event as good or bad for us, Lazarus suggests two kinds of
appraisal: primary and secondary. In primary appraisal, we consider how a certain situation can benefit
us. In secondary appraisal, we consider how we will be able to cope with the situation. This is referred
to as the Lazarus Theory or Appraisal Theory.

Elements of Emotional Intelligence

To gain personal growth and achieve success in life, a person need not depend on intelligence quotient or
IQ alone, but must learn to develop emotional quotient or EQ as well. Whatever profession you will have in
the future, the ability to read people's signals and to react to them appropriately is important.

Emotional intelligence is the ability of a person to understand and express himself, to understand and
relate well to others, and to successfully cope with the demands of daily life (Baron, 2005).

An emotionally intelligent person possesses both personal and interpersonal skills as follows:
1. Self-awareness
This is the ability of a person to tune in to his own feelings.

2. Self-regulation
This is the ability to control disruptive impulses caused by negative emotions such as anger, anxiety or
depression.

3. Motivation
An emotionally competent person can motivate himself to work because he has a positive attitude in life
and knows how to set clear goals.

4. Empathy

This ability helps one to recognize and understand how other people feel.

5. Social skills

This is usually referred to as "people skills" because they can influence, communicate, and lead.
PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS OF ADOLESCENTS

"Humans are by nature too complicated to be understood fully. So, we can choose either to
approach our fellow human beings with suspicion or to approach them with an open mind, a dash
of optimism and a great deal of candour."
~ Tom Hanks

Adolescents' lives revolve around themselves as well as the people around them. How you feel,
how you think, and how you behave can all have find yourself liking. This lesson will help you
understand how knowing ones self can help you better yourself and have better, healthier
relationships with the adolescents' lives revolve around themselves as well as the effect on your
family members, your friends, and even around you.

Discussion

THE SOCIAL SELF

Your self-concept consists of two elements. First, is define yourself. These greatly affect how you
perceive, remember, and you evaluate yourself and others. The second element is your possible
self or who you might become. Possible selves include the self we dream of becoming someday.
Do you dream of becoming rich? Losing weight? Becoming famous? Your possible self can also
include the self you fear becoming poor, unemployed, or perhaps, an academic failure of these
possible selves motivate you to achieve the life you want or to avoid the life you dread.

Development of the Social Self

What determines self-concept? Although genetic influences play a part, social experience is also
a factor, such as your roles as a high school student or a friend. Culture also plays a role in
defining one's identity. For some people, especially industrialized Western cultures, they develop
individualism, prioritizing your own goals over a group's goals. The independent self is the
formation of one's identity as a unique individual, and is defined during adolescence--a time of
self-reliance and separation from parents.

Self-knowledge

How well do you actually know yourself? Why did you choose your course in college? When asked
why we feel or act the way we do, we are usually able to give accurate answers. But when
influences upon our behavior are subtle or unconscious, our explanations may differ because we
may dismiss factors that matter and focus on ones that don't. The same holds true when we try to
predict our behavior. When it comes to our feelings, we often have a difficulty predicting the
intensity and duration of our future emotions.

Perceived Self-control

Stanford psychologist Albert Bandura defines self-efficacy as how competent and effective we
feel when doing a task. How does it differ from self-esteem? If you believe you can do something,
that is self-efficacy; if you like yourself, that is self-esteem. It is worth noting that self- efficacy,
like self-esteem, grows with accomplishments. Still, self-efficacy feedback ("You worked very
hard") leads to better performance, compared to self-esteem feedback ("You’re really talented").
Self-serving Bias

Most people exhibit self-serving bias, or the tendency to see yourself in a favorable light. We
often take credit for our success and attribute failure to external factors. This phenomenon is
called self-serving attributions, a form of self-serving bias.

Self-presentation

We adjust our words and actions to create an impression that will suit our audiences. One
example of this phenomenon is self-handicapping, wherein you protect your self-esteem with
behavior that will conveniently excuse failure. Imagine you have big exam tomorrow, and you
decide to watch movies all night instead of studying.

Social Beliefs and Judgments

How we perceive information, as well as how we process it, is guided by our pre-conceptions.
Through our beliefs, we construe reality and respond to it as such, and not as how it actually is.
Priming can unconsciously affect how people think as well as how they would act. Think of how
the mention of food can make you feel hungry. Perhaps right now you are even craving for
something specific, such as chocolate or pizza. Preconceptions are powerful, because they
influence our attitudes, our perceptions of others, and others' perception of ourselves.

Attributions

Attribution theories analyze how we explain and infer from people's actions. We attribute
people's behavior sometimes to internal causes, or dispositional attributions, and sometimes to
external causes, or situational attributions.

Attributions have three dimensions: stability, locus, and control. We use stable (permanent)
attributions, such as intelligence, and unstable (temporary) attributions, such as chance or
good (or bad) luck. We also use internal (dispositional) and external (situational)
attributions; the extent of how internal or how external an attribution is the locus dimension .
We use controllable and uncontrollable attributions too, based on how much control we have over
a situation as well as its outcome.

Prejudice

Prejudice is a preconceived negative attitude (combination of feelings, belief behavior) towards a

group and its individual members. Stereotypes are beliefs about another group that may be
accurate, inaccurate, or overgeneralized. Racism and sexism are institutional discriminatory
behavior, but there may be instances that they aren't intentionally prejudiced. Prejudice exists in
explicit (conscious) and implicit (automatic) forms. People may retain from childhood an automatic
fear or dislike of a group of people, but this may change as we form new habits through practice.

Prejudice comes in many forms, including: Race, Religion, Age, etc.

Aggression is physical or verbal behavior that is intended to cause harm. It manifests in two
ways: hostile aggression which springs from anger with the goal to injure, and instrumental
aggression, which is also meant to injure but as a means to achieve an end. Most murders are
hostile aggression, while most wars and terrorist attacks are instrumental aggression.
There are some factors that influence aggression.
1. Aversive incidents
2. Arousal
3. Aggression cues

Helping

There are three theories that explain what motivates us to help people:

1. The Social-exchange theory- It assumes that the act of helping is motivated by a desire to
maximize rewards.

2. Reciprocity Norm - The expectation to help those who have helped us.

3. Social-responsibility - An expectation to help others, even if they can- not reciprocate.

Interpersonal Attraction and Intimacy

Liking and Attraction

There are several factors that lead to friendship and attraction between two people:

1. Proximity - Refers to geographical nearness and the best predictor of whether two people are
friends.

2. Physical attractiveness - is the assumption that physically attractive people possess other
desirable traits.

Love and Commitment

Love, as you probably already know, is more complex than just liking someone. Psychologist
Robert Sternberg views love as a triangle with three components:

1. Intimacy - Feelings of closeness and connectedness in relationships, which include

experienced happiness, high regard, and mutual understanding.

2. Passion - Feelings of romance, physical attraction, and sexual arousal in a relationship.

3. Decision/Commitment - This consists of two aspects: short-term or the decision to love

someone else, and long-term or the commitment to maintain that love. This component is
essential for getting through hard times in a relationship.

Love does not always last. The end of relationships is usually a sequence of events that begin with
focusing on the loss of a partner, followed by deep sadness, and eventually, detachment or letting
go of the old and focusing on someone new.

During adolescence, teenagers such as yourself naturally feel romance. Because this is an emotion
that is so powerful, it can fool anyone into thinking that they and their significant other are in a
healthier relationship than it actually is. Maybe this is why, as the old adage says, love is blind.
There are seven qualities of a healthy relationship:

1. Mutual respect - You and your significant other should respect each other's likes as well as
your dislikes. They should be into you for you, and vice-versa.

2. Trust - Jealousy is a natural feeling, but what is important is how you or your significant
other react to it.

3. Honesty - This goes hand-in-hand with trust. You and your significant other should be honest;
if one is caught lying, trust is no longer there.

4. Support - A great boyfriend or girlfriend would support you in both good times and in bad, as
well as push you to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

5. Fairness/Equality - In your relationship, are you the giver or the taker? A great relationship
consists of understanding, compromise, and balance.

6. Separate identities - You and your boyfriend or girlfriend should be two separate people with
two separate identities that you together both respect and maintain. If you lose yourself in a
relationship, it is an unhealthy one.

7. Good communication - This is the most important aspect of a relationship. You and your
significant other should be able to communicate healthy your issues openly and effectively.

Teenage relationships are known to be intense and expressive..

Consent is a key element of relationships.