Part Two, Module 3:

The Madonna Moan

by Felicity Keith

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 THE MADONNA MOAN

The Madonna Moan

This technique is not about pop music. It’s about learning to tune in to
the Sexual Super Woman at the core of your being, being 100% present
with your desires and sensations, and learning to powerfully vocalize
your rapture in a way that will make his toes curl in the best possible
way.
Does the thought of that freak you out a bit? It’s okay!
It’s normal to feel shy about letting down your guard and expressing
such pure sexual emotion the first time (or two). However, when I explain
the potent effect this moan will have on your man, you will definitely be
willing to try it out. Plus, I have some exercises for you that will ease
any anxieties you have and get you so comfortable, you’ll be Madonna
Moaning in no time.

Why do women moan during sex?

The surface answer is because it’s what we’ve been taught. Romance
novels describe heavy breathing, heaving bosoms, and moaning in
their sex scenes. Actresses writhe around making loud sighs and even
screams (and yowls!) onscreen in movies Rated PG to XXX. The technical
term for making sex noises is copulatory vocalizations.
And if you’ve seen When Harry Met Sally, you can’t forget the famous
fake orgasm scene in the deli.
We see examples like Meg Ryan and, on some level, most everyone has
agreed that THIS is what sex is supposed to sound like. So we all do it
to some degree.
The slightly deeper answer is that women moan to indicate pleasure
and as a way to communicate to their partner during sex. We’ve already
discussed why we feel uncomfortable talking about sex (much less giving
specific directions. . . but I’ll teach you that, too). So moaning, sighing,
and yes’ing becomes our default “language” during sex.

Do men get turned on by our moans?

In short: Yes. A woman’s moaning tells her man, “Excellent job!” So
men have learned to interpret our noises as positive affirmations. But
there is actually a scientific connection, too. More on that below.

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Also, we women know that sometimes a few well-timed moans and “Yes’s”
can help get your partner to climax.

“Hurry up” isn’t the kind of moaning

I’m teaching you here
The Madonna Moan is not a way to hurry along intercourse to orgasm.
This moan is authentic and driven by pure emotion, not acting or faking,
and certainly not from watching the clock.
Scientists have shown that making noise during sex serves as a desire
driver. The moaning enhances pleasure for both partners. You will
benefit from your Madonna Moan as much as he will.
Because when you are free with your vocalizations and moan with wild
abandon, without fear or anxiety, the end result is bliss.

Why this will blow his mind

Men’s brains are wired to chase us and to please us. It’s true: in the
hypothalamus area of men’s brains is a section specific to sexual pur-
suit. . . and it’s 2.5 times bigger than women’s (more on brain chemistry
in Module 4). This innate need to pursue you sexually is preprogrammed.
Once he’s “caught” you sexually, his brain shifts toward procreation, even
if makin’ babies is absolutely NOT on either of your agendas. I’m talking
primal brain chemistry stuff here, not logical thinking and planning.
As a couple, you may be using eight types of contraception to prevent
pregnancy, but that doesn’t mean his brain (or yours) is on the same
“no babies” page.
Female orgasm has a correlation to conception. Science has shown that
when a female has an orgasm, there is an improved chance of the sperm
and egg connection. Annnd going back to the point of this lesson, women
indicate orgasm by making noise. . .
. . . so your moans actually tap into that primal part of his brain.
And when your “copulatory vocalizations” are expressed from being
totally in touch with your desires, the result is nothing short of fireworks
for you both.
Not only is that primal part of his brain activated, his ego is totally
pumped up, “Wow! Look how amazing I must be to make her moan/scream
/curse like that! Just WOW!”

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This, my friend, is a heavy-duty one-two punch of sexual satisfaction

for a man. You are giving him this incredible affirmation on his sexual
prowess while activating his brain chemistry at the same time. BOOM!
So let’s learn the Madonna Moan in a simple three-step process.

Step One: Finding your voice

In order to tap into your authentic moan, you need to practice, because
it may take some preliminary moans and sighs before you arrive at that
sacred place emotionally to really express yourself.
The first step is to perfect those warm-up vocals alone. Warming up and
practicing helps you access your deep emotions and feelings. Here are
some exercises to do just that:
Say his name. Practice saying his name out loud. Now lower the pitch
of your voice and say it again. Now say it slowly, like you are savoring
every syllable. Try it out a bunch of ways and see what sounds good to
you.
Moan while eating. Get a container of yogurt or some ice cream. Dip
your spoon in and lick it off little by little and let out some mmmm’s and
ohhhh’s.
Get into it. Imagine he is watching you as you lick the spoon. You are
seducing him with the way you are eating that delicious food.
Does this feel silly at first? You bet. However, the more you get used to
the sound of your voice, the easier it is to use it.
Verbalize your desires. Grab your journal and worksheets from this
module. Say out loud the things that turn you on or the sex acts you
enjoy. Just read down your list, “I am turned on by. . . ”
Now, I want you to say them as if you are directing your partner or giving
the play-by-play.
For example:
I love it when you (lick/suck/bite/fuck/pound/kiss/nibble/spank)
my (breasts/neck/ass/pussy).
You feel so (big/good/incredible/fucking amazing/huge) when
you (fuck me/are inside of me/ are on top of me/are behind
me).
The point of saying your desires and the play-by-play out loud is to get
comfortable with these words. You may end up saying these things as
part of your Madonna Moan, you may not.

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But verbalizing your desires accesses a slightly different part of your

brain, which increases your connection to your core sexuality. It also
opens the door to those deeper desires you may not have recognized
were even there. Ladies, there is a method to my madness here ;)

Step Two: Moan while masturbating

Finding some private time is ideal so you can really let your vocalizations
fly as you orgasm. For some of you, alone time isn’t easy to come by. In
that case, lock the door to your room (or bathroom) and crank up some
music to give yourself some privacy.
Think of your list of what turns you on. Mentally conjure up your wildest
fantasy.
As you start to pleasure yourself, begin to moan. As you build to orgasm,
continue your moaning but feel free to let out whatever happens naturally.
• Your “moan” may be a string of yes’s and mmmmm’s and oh’s
• Your “moan” may be your partner’s name said (or screamed) at
varying volumes like you practiced
• Your “moan” may also be a whole bunch of “Oh God’s” along with
curse words
There is not one “right” way to moan. The important thing is to let it
OUT.
Don’t think about what it is you are saying. Don’t judge yourself. And
do NOT censor yourself. Just make the noises and say the words that
happen as they happen.
It is normal to feel completely self-conscious when you do this at
first.
Confession? I felt like a complete idiot when I first tapped into my
Madonna Moan. It was like I’d been possessed and was speaking in
tongues. Afterward, I was embarrassed by what had come tumbling out
of my mouth.
But there was something so powerful and fierce about expressing myself
that way, and I let those feelings of power outweigh my insecurities.
I want you to do the same.
Practice accessing your moan from that primal and uninhibited place.
When you feel comfortable, move to step two.

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Step Three: Share your moan

One important thing to note: you may find that your “moan” may differ
according to your mood or what you are fantasizing about when you
masturbate. Your Madonna Moan isn’t a one-size-fits-all noise.
Your Madonna Moan is when you are so tuned into your desires and
emotions in the moment that you let go of your inhibitions. You access
the core of your sexuality and you express what shows up.
I tell you this because when you share your moan with your partner, it
may end up different than when you practiced alone.
That’s normal, and is to be expected.
There isn’t an elaborate set-up to getting ready for sharing. You just
need to relax your thoughts and simply focus on how you feel, both
emotionally and physically. What helps me is to mentally switch off the
logical side of my brain and switch on the emotional side.
You also need to banish any thoughts of self-consciousness. Remember,
you are powerful. You are fierce. You are damn sexy, and you are
going to blow his mind!
It doesn’t matter if this is a long drawn-out love making session or a hot
and heavy quickie, you can share your MM in any type of scenario.
I found one way that is easy for me to get to my MM place is to start
by saying his name and that I like what he’s doing. From there, I allow
myself to verbalize whatever shows up. I don’t think before I speak.
And I let my MM take over and just go with what happens. THAT is why
this is powerful. Because it is completely in the moment and uncensored.
Remember, there isn’t a wrong way to do this!

His reaction
Your man may react in a few different ways.
He may growl right back at you in obvious approval. He may be inspired
to join in and moan and let his own string of words fly.
And he may be stunned into silence. This kind of primal display of your
physical pleasure may shock him. This does NOT mean he’s judging you
or doesn’t like it.
Quite the contrary.

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This may be the first time he’s ever witnessed his own ability to bring
a woman to the brink of divine ecstasy. Especially if you’ve been the
quieter type in the past.
You can smooth over any awkward silences by simply saying something
like, “Wow, you really got me going tonight!” with a big grin and a
snuggle.
He might ask you why this time was different or what he did to make
you moan like that. Your response is totally up to you.
One idea is to tell him that you finally feel free enough to express yourself
that way with him. That he makes you feel safe to be uninhibited.
Or you could just say “I don’t know, it just sort of came out!” and leave
it at that.
No matter how he responds, just have faith that you’ve solidified your
sexual connection. You’ve shown him how much he satisfies you and
how in touch with your primal sexuality you are. His brain and his ego
are now even more in tune with you!

What if you get too nervous?

If you find you are letting stage fright take over, it’s okay. It’s normal
to feel a bit scared to reveal this very vulnerable and real side to your
sexuality.
The first time may not go like you thought it would. That’s okay. The
point is to keep trying. Go back to steps one and two. Then next time
you have sex, try out step three again.
The only thing I ask is that you don’t give up!