Assertive Communication Techniques
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Assertive
August 30, 201 7 COMMUNICATION AND PROTOCOL , PERSONAL IMPROVEMENT l13 comments
Assertive Communication is a communication tool that promotes effective
communication between interlocutors. By putting it into practice we are promoting self-
respect and respecting others. Assertive communication techniques are tools that can be
applied in both our professional and personal lives . In this sense, knowing what
characteristics underpin it and what resources we can use in our favor will give us
favorable results in each of the interactions we make.
Table of contents [ hide ]
• 1 What is Assertive Communication
• 2 Characteristics of Assertive Communication
• 3 Assertive Communication at work
• 4 Assertive communication at a verbal, non-verbal and paraverbal level
• 5 Assertive Communication Techniques
• 6 Behaviors that help active and empathetic communication
What is Assertive Communication
Communication is basically the way in which a message is transmitted between a sender
and a receiver, but when we talk about Assertive Communication or Assertiveness, we
include the attitude of that communication, since it is the way in which a person
expresses their opinions from respect for others, in a clear and slow way.
Communication Characteristics
Assertive
Assertive communication is a communication style with an immense impact on both
emotional relationships and professional and work relationships . Below, we present
six fundamental characteristics to have effective assertive communication:
1. When we look at our interlocutor we are showing interest and this attitude
substantially increases trust and closeness.
2. Have an open body posture, since our non-verbal communication demonstrates
interest and sincerity.
3. Observe our gestures and learn to control them, since appropriate gestures help us
emphasize the messages we want to reinforce.
4. Pay attention to our voice levels, since by modulating it in an appropriate way we are
more convincing.
5. Analyze how long we listen and how long we are listened to to increase receptivity
and impact.
6. Identify how much, how, when and where we intervene, and also observe the quality
of our interventions in the conversations.
Assertive Communication at work
Working on assertiveness in communication is one of the desirable skills for any
worker, especially in commercial areas, where communication is the fundamental pillar
of the work task. Thus, one of the many advantages of assertive communication at work
and in business is the creation of a climate conducive to the representation of ideas,
opinions and respect that will optimize relationships within the work context.
Assertive communication is the most appropriate way to address a client, since it is
the best way to express what we want to say without the other interlocutor feeling
attacked . Furthermore, communicating assertively helps us ensure that the message is
absorbed more easily and in a clearer and more precise way, without anyone having to
feel evaluated or threatened.
In this way, communicating our message with clarity and security, respecting the rights
of others, generates a perception of respect and credibility regarding the instructions that
we are going to give to the client with whom we communicate.
It is important to know the information we are going to give and how to give it. Poor
communication about results, diagnosis or treatments can raise doubts regarding the
professionalism with which we work and would skew the rest of the process.
That the client perceives good self-esteem in our behavior when we express our opinions
is essential for them to be cooperative and to communicate their own thoughts, doubts or
opinions to us.
Assertive communication at a verbal, non-
verbal and paraverbal level
Within the assertive style we can find several characteristics at the verbal, non-verbal
and paraverbal level. Thus, the management of assertive communication in verbal
language uses the first person to refer to feelings, own opinions and other formulas to
express ideas of collaboration.
Assertive communication in non-verbal behavior
In this style, the non-verbal behavior that we adopt will greatly influence the way in
which the client will receive the information.
To do this, it is very important to maintain direct eye contact with the client, have an
upright posture and not appear tense.
Showing confidence with our body while giving the message and not appearing
aggressive will make it easier for us to get the client to give us their full attention and
accept the information.
Assertive communication in verbal behavior
For our verbal communication to be consistent with our non-verbal communication, it is
important to analyze the following recommendations:
1. When we are in a conversation, avoid crossing your arms, try to be in an open
position.
2. Not interpreting the gestures or movements of our interlocutor, it is preferable that
we investigate before assuming.
3. Observe our tone of voice; if this is consistent with the message.
4. Maintaining eye contact in a very subtle way, while we listen and while we speak,
this denotes interest and strengthens relationships, as it demonstrates empathy.
Assertive communication in paraverbal behavior
Among the characteristics of the recommended paraverbal behaviors that should be used
in our message are; a calm and constant tone of voice, respect silences and have a
constant rhythm throughout the process.
One of the things that can signal a lack of security and even nervousness is not
respecting the silences that must appear during communication. Not stopping talking,
appearing uncomfortable if there is silence, and executing quickly will make the client
doubt the reality that we are trying to show them.
Table 1. Characteristics of assertive communication in behavior, verbal, non-verbal and
paraverbal.
Assertive Communication Techniques
Below we discuss 7 assertive communication techniques , explaining what each of
them consists of. Examples are included with dialogues of assertive communication of
specific situations.
1. scratched record technique
The broken record technique consists of repeating a statement several times without
modifying our tone, rhythm and volume, and without the intention of entering into any
confrontation.
Example:
- You're not listening to me.
– Yes, I listen to you, but right at this moment, I am also checking your data.
– No, you don't pay attention to me
– I repeat that if I am listening to you, I am only verifying the information you have
given me at this moment.
2. Fog bank technique
The fog bank technique consists of agreeing with the client but leaving no room to
continue with the confrontation or discussion. In this case, some care must be taken
when using this technique since the client may feel that we do not want to help them.
Example:
– To date you have not solved my problem.
– You may be right.
– Of course I'm right!
- It's possible.
- Of course it is possible!
– Yeah, I'm not going to deny it.
3. Technique for change
With this technique, an attempt is made to give a global vision of the discussion,
relativizing it to reduce the level of aggressiveness and/or frustration.
Example:
– You haven't realized what I just told you.
– I have not heard you clearly because I was checking the information you gave me.
- How can you say that! Plus I'm in a hurry
– Look, we can calmly solve this, however, you know that this requires time to be able to
do it, so we can assess whether it is worth continuing now or at another time. It looks
good?
4. Assertive agreement technique
In this case, an attempt is made to reach an agreement where what may be considered an
error is confirmed, but giving as a basis that in general, it is not usual.
Example:
– How many times do I have to repeat it.
– You are right in saying that we have asked you for this information on several
occasions but you will understand that I have to check that everything is correct.
5. Assertive question technique
It is answering our recipient with a question that puts what is being discussed in a
positive light, also giving the client the opportunity to face in the same way the criticism
or difficulty that has been raised.
Example:
– In the end it was of no use to me.
– What do you think we could do to prevent this from happening again?
6. Ignore technique
This technique is usually used when the client appears very upset or angry on the call
and it is difficult to maintain a constructive conversation. At these moments we have to
be as empathetic as possible so as not to arouse any impression of aggression.
Example:
– I'm tired of not solving my problem!
– Now he is in a very bad mood. Hence, I believe it is advisable to postpone this
conversation for another more suitable time.
7. Assertive postponement technique
We use this technique when we are not able at that moment to provide an adequate
solution or response to the complaint that the client makes to us. It can be combined with
the fog bank technique, if the client insists a lot.
Example:
– You never solve any problem for me.
– This is not the first time you have made this statement to me and as you know we have
already talked about this same topic on other occasions. I propose to postpone it because
at this precise moment I am waiting; pending your claim.
Behaviors that help active and empathetic
communication
Active listening involves capturing the entirety of our interlocutor's message and
interpreting it from their point of view, that is, putting ourselves in their place. This does
not mean that we have to agree or share your opinion. Thus, Assertiveness, as a
communication skill, facilitates knowing how to say “no” to our interlocutor when faced
with messages that we do not agree with without creating a conflict.
Minimum responses
One word is enough to show the interlocutor that you are interested in the conversation
and we would like him to continue.
Thus, expressions like “Mmm…, Yes”, are called minimal responses and should be used
frequently, especially in those people who express themselves little.
Reflection of feelings
To indicate interest and attention, it is essential to reflect the feelings that the person has
expressed. Sometimes, people only describe actions and through them we must identify
feelings to reformulate the dialogue.
Example: “I feel tired, this is the third time I have called”, instead of paying attention to
the fact of the difficulty of contact that is described in their words, respond with words
that indicate understanding of feelings: “So He tells me, you are upset.”
Request for clarification
Asking for clarification helps to identify and understand the meaning of the words, while
indicating to the interlocutor that you are trying to understand their point of view.
Repetition of key words or phrases
Sometimes it is also useful to repeat key words or phrases that the person has used,
particularly if they have expressed several issues at once, and it is useful to capture the
key phrase, which helps keep the conversation on the issues that concern the client.
Example: “I don't want to change, in the end this takes a long time and right now I need
time and I can't entertain myself with these things, which in the end is expensive.”
In this case it would be useful to capture the key phrase “I need time” that provides us
with information about the client's real need and greatest concern.
Questions or statements with open response
Which provides the opportunity to continue the conversation. If you want more
information on a specific topic, it is often useful to repeat the key phrase, giving the
person the opportunity to comment further.
So, in the previous example you could say “He says his problem is that he doesn't have
time” (repeating the key phrase).
A comment or an open question “I was going to tell me that…” or “Would you like to
tell me something else about that?” is also useful.
Solution analysis
Sometimes, it is appropriate to help analyze the possibilities regarding the solution of the
identified problems, realizing some factors of the situation that have not been mentioned,
including them in your comments or questions but being careful not to give an opinion
on what should be done. . This is to help you consider the various factors and
possibilities that may not have been taken into account.
Assertive communication allows us to start a conversation from a collaborative point of
view, where the client does not feel like a simple recipient of information, but also has
an opinion, and this is respected.
We have all undoubtedly had some experience, whether by telephone or in person, in
which we have felt overwhelmed by an interlocutor who did not pay attention to us and
who was not interested in our opinion. We would like to know your experience in this
regard, and to know if this article has provided you with any communication tools that
you did not know about.
Tags: assertiveness assertive communication non-verbal communication paraverbal communication
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