Final Reflection

Research and Development Phase:

At the very beginning of this journey, we read through the script. I found
it confusing but also very funny. That day, when I came home, the thing
that I most vividly remembered and could not stop talking about was the
line “eat my shit, eat my shit Alan” and we all thought this was hilarious.
It pretty much became an inside joke for all of us. My initial preference
for the part was Mr. Lawrence. He seemed like a character that I could
make goofy, and I liked that idea.

What was obvious from first reading it is that there are no stage
directions and very few distinct characters. There was a lot of work to do
on this - defining our characters, deciding on all stage movement and
how to deliver our lines and work with each other on stage.

As part of our research, we did presentations on John Donelly. One of

the things I found out about John Donelly’s intention within this play is
to show that using the correct language and making it sound correct is
more important than the message itself. We decided to portray the SLT
as trying to look the part and say the right things, but not really meaning
it from the heart.

I helped to develop ideas in this phase by voicing my opinions and I

thought I was doing a good job at this until I was told by Harry (our
director) to be more confident in my ideas as they were just as good as
anyone else’s. This is definitely an area that I need to develop. A
problem that I encountered a few times was with my concentration and
I felt myself zoning out for short periods. I have learned that towards the
end of long sessions it helped to have a drink break and then join in
again with better attention.

At this stage when I realised that there were not really many defined
parts and that it was more of an ensemble piece, I realised that I did not
mind not having a main part. I learned the value of working together and
using space together. I think I was successful at working as a team in this
way.

Rehearsal Phase:
Our intensive rehearsal phase was every day for three weeks and I did
not miss a single session, even when I felt ill with a virus and, at times,
burnt out. I am really proud of this and have learned that I can push
myself when needed.

At the start of rehearsals we did tableaus and improvs with Harry

leading us, to get our minds in the right space and to explore themes
within the play. I see the value in this but it is not my personal style and
at times I felt impatient to get on with casting and rehearsing the
show.But I have learned to trust the process - directors know what they
are doing. I have particularly learned the value of the tableau activities
and would employ these if I was a director as it helps you to understand
the main event in the scene.

Also at the beginning of each lesson our practitioner gave us the time to
check in with ourselves and others and do some breathing exercises.
This made it feel like a really safe space and made me feel valued

I hope my work ethic was seen as positive. I tried to go in with a smile

even if I was not feeling that great because I did not want to contribute
any gloom and I wanted a good, positive environment for everyone else.
As mentioned earlier I did have moments when I found my thoughts
wandering but I did my best to refocus and as time went on I learned
how to manage my energy more.

In rehearsals we were actioning our script; this is so that when we say

our lines they have intention and meaning to them. I found this difficult
because I did not want to be repetitive and I wanted to give each of my
lines a different feeling. I asked Harry for help on this by giving me
different descriptive words instead of the obvious ones.

In the first act when we were all coming on the stage, Harry did not
know how we would enter the stage, so we tried entering in a bout four
different ways and discussed which was most effective. I was surprised
that walking on stage was such a big deal but it makes sense now
because it is the start of the show and is our chance to get the
audience’s attention.
An important key moment for me was on the day that we cast act four
and five. It was such a relief when this happened and I could finally see
how the show was starting to look. All of us felt the same way and this
was such a good feeling and it felt like a weight lifted off the entire
group.

I have been in a few productions with Stagecoach and I tend to type cast
as big goofy characters. At first I felt out of my comfort zone playing
more serious roles, especially in the riot police section. Then I found that
I enjoyed playing a more naturalistic character. I have definitely
increased in confidence and in versatility. Being chosen and trusted with
this role made me realise that I am capable of far more than I thought.
And that is a great feeling!

Moving into The Egg/Tech:

When we moved into Tech we were all buzzing. We had already seen
box models or mini sculptures of our set, but seeing it in full size made
everything just come to life. Before, we just had tape marking where the
set would be but we couldn’t feel the image.

We already knew our lines and movements so we moved onto a tech

rehearsals. We were all trying to be as professional as possible and I feel
it went really and well and this was confirmed when the tech crew sent
Harry a note saying how professional we had been,

The main challenge for me was the lack of space in the wings. We came
up with ways of making things work as smoothly as possible, like
standing against the wall to let people through quickly. The riot scene
was challenging because it had the fastest and most difficult costume
changes and we helped them by letting the biggest and quickest
changes through first and help them change if they needed. This all had
to be done silently which I found challenging.

I remember the biggest feeling was “wow this is real now - I have to
really bring my A game on” which made me do the best I can - and more.

Dress Rehearsal:

The first dress rehearsal had the other half of the first years and also the
second years. Before we went on stage my friend and I were so nervous
and excited that we were holding onto each other in the wings. When
we went out on stage and saw the auditorium filled it gave me and extra
buzz and the fact I knew the audience made it even more exciting
because I really wanted to impress them.

My main challenge was that I broke character at one point because I had
not anticipated the reaction of the front row of the audience when
started to be patronising toward them. They laughed and squirmed in
their seats and that made me smirk and I nearly laughed. But I managed
to pull it together within a couple of seconds so that we could have a
good dress run. This was the first time I had realised that an audience
will react, not just sit there impassive and you have to be prepared for
that.

For the second dress rehearsal there was no audience, just the
backstage crew and the photographer. It had a different mood because
we were not trying to impress our classmates; we were just trying to
improve on our performance. The energy level was just as high, but it
was definitely more serious because were aware that this was our last
chance to get a good rehearsal before the live shows

Performance 1:

When it came to the first live performance I was so excited and actually
felt ready and well prepared.However, nerves did kick in a bit while I was
on stage and I I caught myself reminding myself to breathe during the
first act. Even though we were more organised backstage, I felt that the
atmosphere was more more stressful. I had my family and two friends
from Secondary school in the audience and that made me more
comfortable. I was able to direct my lines towards my friends as they
were in the second row.

I was ready for the audience reactions and it did not phase and I was
able to stay in character. I did not forget any lines or stage directions and
was really pleased with the performance. During the riot scene my
partner had trouble getting out of the wings so I didn’t know what to do
for a while but I improvised and carried on regardless. It seemed to pass
very quickly because I was having so much fun.
The only challenge I can remember from that performance was being
blinded by the lights when trying to get off stage. I was carrying a chair
off stage and I could not get off in time because I couldn’t see and I had
to get to the nearest wing because the fourth SLT group had already
started talking.

At the end of the show, we were so happy and proud of each other ,
because we had done our first show, we all hugged and jumped up and
down on the stage!

Performance 2:

In the previous performance I mentioned tat I had some challenges with

breathing and getting off stage. In this performance I managed to steady
my breathing by taking deep slow breaths. I also managed to get off
stage by spotting where Georgio and Ebony had just come on, and I
aimed for that spot to get off stage. If we did multiple shows I would find
a tactic like that and always get off stage at the same place, in plenty of
time.

I felt that there was better energy from the audience in this show. They
reacted and laughed in all the right places and it felt like they really
appreciated the show. This increased our energy levels and it felt great.

In my mind it was a better performance and when my partner did not

get out on time for the riot scene, I was expecting it and my
improvisation was more convincing, I hope!

When the show finished, I felt like crying. I was so happy to be in such a
supportive group. Harry was such a great Director and I’m glad that he
had faith in us. Backstage in the dressing room, Harry congratulated us
on a “great show” and on all our hard work. It surprised me how much it
took out of me; I was exhausted for the following few days, but now I
can not wait until the next time.