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Why is it that I realize the relationship

was toxic only after the breakup?
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Celia Fidalgo · Follow

Ph.D. in Psychology, University of Toronto · 10mo

It can take a lot of time and experience to learn what a

healthy relationship feels like.

After you’ve gone through a couple of bad relationships,

heartbreak, and dead ends, it’s worth taking stock of
what specific things went wrong in each one and noting
the early warning signs.

First, think about your partners’ behavior and the early

signals that something was off: Were they disrespectful
towards you or towards others? Did they hide things from
you? When you asked questions about their lives, were
they open and honest? Were they generally happy
people? Were they judgemental or jealous? How did they
deal with setbacks in their lives? What were their past
relationships like — how long did they last, and were
there any patterns?

Next, think about how they each made you feel: Did you
go through periods of extreme happiness, followed by
extreme sadness? Did it feel like riding an emotional
rollercoaster? Did you feel prolonged periods of
uncertainty about the relationship? Were your major
needs were being met? Did you feel listened to?
Supported? Cared for?

Every relationship is different. It’s likely that your past

relationships gave you some positive experiences that
caused you to overlook warning signs and discount your
negative feelings. So the key is to really reflect on the
negatives so you’re aware of them.

That way, the next time you’re entering into a

relationship, you can watch for how they behave, and
listen to how you feel, and use those as signs to get out
before you get pulled in too deep.
1.4K views · View 1 upvote

Upvote · 1

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Why is it that when you have walked away

from a toxic relationship you still yearn for
that person? — Related

Dushka Zapata · Follow

I also write about life on Instagram. (@dushkaamateur) ·
Upvoted by Cassie Moffit, Professional matchmaker for
10 years · 5y

Because when it was good it blew my mind.

Because I have not found that depth anywhere and what

if I never again do?

Because a bit of hurt seemed like a fair price to pay for

the best in us.

Because unpredictable is more of a thrill than

predictable.

Because it was pure stimulation and stimulants are

addictive.

Because just because I have decided to do what is right

for me doesn’t mean I can erase you.
Upvote · 1.3K 51 5

How can I get over a break up? — Related

Moumita Das · Follow

MBA from Symbiosis Institute of Management Studies
(Graduated 2023) · 4y

Just move on. Forget him/her. It isn’t as tough as you are

making it look like.

Jeez, NO. That’s not how it works.

If you are reading this then I must assume that you have
either been dumped or have been cheated on. I know it
feels like shit and you will do whatever it takes, just to get
over this feeling.

I have been through four heartbreaks till now. I have been

dumped thrice and been cheated on once. Trust me, I
know how it feels like.

There will be times when you will feel like shouting and
crying, both at the same time.

There will be times when youReading

Continue will just curl up and lie in
the corner of yo
Upvote · 792 34 23

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Finance Analyst at The Boston Consulting Group · Apr 24

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When a respected friend told me this when I asked the

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Zelda Rudd · Follow

Former Elite Sex Worker l Founder of FoXXXy.com (2017–
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I did something similar back in high school.

I was dating a guy from my Ethics class. He was really

smart and nerdy in a ridiculously cute way.

Unfortunately, I was acting very bitchy towards him. He

would do the cutest little gestures for me and I would
scold him shortly after … just because I knew if I do
that..he would do something nice for me…to make up for
something he never did!

One day, he picked me up at home and while he was

driving to school, he was telling me some stories about
his soccer practice from the Reading
Continue night before. He was really
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