Book Name : Nurturing children

Writer : Maulana Abdul Sattar﷿

Date : February 2021/ Jamadi us sani 1442

Quantity : 1100

Publisher : Baitus Salam Book Shop

Defence Phase 4

Design & Concept : MAK Innovation

+92 3168056 863
[email protected]

www.baitussalam.org
 TABLE OF CONTENTS
The address of Allahl

Following deen individually is not enough

Factors that are a cause of distress for parents

How Prophet Muhammad‫ ﷺ‬would stress on the tarbiyah

Who should be held responsible ? who should be spared ?

One misunderstanding

Save their eeman (faith)instead of their future

Sins in reality are fire

Use words that affect

Three principles of raising children

The story of Imam Shafit

Pious children are a sadqah e jariah for parents

The fikr (concern) of the eeman of children

The story of Hazrat Yaqoobq

The advise of Hazrat Luqman (Hakem) to his son

The left out sunnah , “Tehneek”

The outcome of halaal

Disobedient children can be a source of punishment for the parents

Children are a blessing of Allahl

 َّ ‫الر ْح ٰمن‬ ّٰ ْ
‫الر ِح ْي ِم‬ ِ
َّ ‫الل ِه‬ ‫ِبس ِم‬
‫ص َح ِاب ٖه‬ ْ ‫الس َل ُم َع ٰلى َس ّيد َنا ُم َح َّمد َّو َع ٰلى ٰاله َو َا‬ َّ ‫الص َل ُة َو‬ َّ ‫َا ْل َح ْم ُد ل ّٰله َو‬
ِٖ ٍ ِ
ّٰ ْ ْ َّ ٰ ْ َّ ِ َ ّٰ ُ ْ ُ َ َ ْ َ َّ َ ِ ِ َ ْ َ ْ َ
‫ اما بعد فاعوذ ِبالل ِه ِمن الشيط ِن الر ِجي ِم۞ ِبس ِم الل ِه‬.‫اجم ِعين‬
‫ش‬

َّ ‫الر ْح ٰمن‬
‫الر ِح ْي ِم‬ َّ
ِ
ُ ۡ ُ َّ َ ُ ۡ ُ َّ ً َ ۡ ُ ۡ ۡ َ َ ۡ ُ َ ُ ۡ َ ۤۡ ُ ۡ ُ َ ٰ َ ۡ َّ َ ُّ َ ٰۤ
‫اس َوال ِح َجا َرة‬ ‫﴿يايها ال ِذين امنوا قوا انفسكم واه ِليكم نارا وقودها الن‬
َ ‫َ َ ۡ َ َ ٰٓ َ ٌ َ ٌ َ ٌ َّ َ ۡ ُ ۡ َن ّٰ َ َ ۤ َ َ َ ُ ۡ َ َ ۡ َ ُ ۡ َن َ ُ ۡ َ ُ ۡو‬
‫ش‬

‫ش‬ ﴾۞‫عليها مل ِٕٮكة ِغلظ ِشداد ليعصو الله ما امرهم ويفعلو ما يؤمر ن‏‬
٦ :‫سوره التحريم‬
ْ ّٰ َ َ َ
‫صدق الل ُه ال َع ِظ ْيم‬.
ّ َ ٰ ٰ َ ٰ َ َّ ُ ّٰ َ
‫ص ِ ّل َعلى َس ِّي ِدنا ُم َح َّم ٍد َّو َعلى ا ِل َس ِّي ِدنا ُم َح َّم ٍد َّو َبا ِر ْك َو َس ِل ْم‬ ‫اللهم‬

The Address Of Allahl:

My honorable Muslim elders, Respected brothers and the
pious mothers and sisters of the ummah, Following is the
Address of Allah l in the Quran towards the Believers:
َ ُ َ ُ َۡ ۤ ُ ٰ َّ َ
﴾ٰۤ‫﴿ا ُّي َها ال ِذ ۡي َن ا َم ُن ۡوا ق ۡوا ان ُف َسك ۡم َوا ۡه ِل ۡيك ۡم نا ًرا‬
“O you who believe, save yourself and your families from
a fire.”
(٦:‫)سورة التحريم‬
Fuel of the fire of hell is not wood like the fire of this
world, Rather its fuel is human beings and stones, its
intensity is also very severe as compared to that of this
world.

8
“ O you who believe” is a full of love expression that is used
to address the believers in the Quran, by Allahl, but
only the person who recognizes the Azmat (highness)
of Allahl can taste the sweetness of this expression.
Just like when a father or a mother lovingly call their
son/daughter by saying “O My Daughter/Son”, So the
daughter or son will only enjoy listening to this expression
of address when they know the true emotions behind
this way of address. In reality, “ My dear son / daughter” is
an expression that contains the essence of reality of the
relation that exists between the father and son or mother
and daughter, it points towards the love, affection and
care that exists between these relations.

Similarly, Allahl is also using this expression of “ O you

who believe” to explain to us that that our relation with
Allahl is a relation based on Eeman, when we believe
in Allahl our relation with Allahl is developed on
the basis of that Eeman. On the bases of this relation
Allahl says, “ O you who believe, O you who love me, I
love you”.

Following Deen Individually Is Not

Enough:
Now what Allahl is about to instruct us contains His
love and mercy towards us, and He only tells us because
it has khair (good) in it for us. On the basis of our relation

9
that we have with Him, Allahl says:
َ ُ َ ُ َۡ ۤ ُ
‫ق ۡوا ان ُف َسك ۡم َوا ۡه ِل ۡيك ۡم نا ًرا‬
"Save yourself and your families from a fire."
(٦:‫)سورة التحريم‬
Meaning that following deen(religion) individually is not
enough. For instance, a father prays namaz, goes to hajj,
gives zakat and sadaqah but he does not know what
his children are up to. He follows one direction and his
children are following the opposite direction. One follows
east the other follows west. Allahl instructs us that it
is obligatory on you to take care of what direction you are
following and at the same time you also are responsible
to take care of the direction that your family are following.

Factors That Are A Cause Of Distress For

Parents :
َ ُ َ ُ َۡ ۤ ُ
﴾‫ ﴿ق ۡوا ان ُف َسك ۡم َوا ۡه ِل ۡيك ۡم نا ًرا‬As per divine orders we have to
save both ourselves and our children from the fire of hell.
So nurturing children is obligatory upon parents.

In today's age a father is more concerned about building

the career of his son and daughter. He uses different
means to achieve their career goals, sends his children
to so many places and educates them but he does not
think whether the Eeman of the child is save or not, he
becomes a servant of Allahl or not ? He does not even

10
think that the outcome of the education that his children
are receiving can be such that they will leave their parents
in old homes when they grow old. The secular education
that parents invest so much in, nurtures the children in
such a way that when their parents grow old they start
thinking that when will my aged parents pass away ?
When can I admit them in old homes?

When children are not educated about the azmat

(high status) of parents and the respect of adults and
grownups then they will never learn to respect elders.
Their temperament will be shaped in the way they are
educated , their emotions will be built up in the same
way. Then, in order to fulfill their carnal desires they might
end up doing things that their parents will regret. This
outcome is expected because of the kind of education
that the child receives. In secular education the children
are taught that it is their right to fulfill their desires,
whoever does not let you fulfill your desires is your
biggest enemy. When children end up doing something
to fulfill their desires then there parents are found crying
and lamenting that our children have humiliated us in
in front of the whole community, but they don’t think
initially that in what career are they investing, what
education are they providing their kids , what kind of an
environment are they giving to their kids , where are they
sending their kids.

11
How Prophet Muhammad‫ ﷺ‬Would
Stress On The Tarbiyah:
Prophet Muhammad‫ ﷺ‬stressed a lot on the tarbiyaah
(upbringing) of children. Hazrat Umar bin abi salmaa
was a sahabi. He used to say that from an early age he
came under the guidance of Prophet Muhammad‫ﷺ‬
because his father passed away. His mother got married
to Prophet Muhammad‫ ﷺ‬and therefore Prophet
Muhammad‫ ﷺ‬would do his tarbiyyah. Once he was
sitting down on the dastarkhawan (mat ) to have his
meal , Prophet Muhammad‫ ﷺ‬was also seated , so he
was eating from different sides of the plate, so on seeing
this Prophet Muhammad‫ ﷺ‬grabbed his hand and said:
ُ ُ ّٰ َُ
"‫ َوك ْل ِم َّما َي ِل ْي َك‬, ‫ ك ْل ِب َي ِمي ِن َك‬, ‫َ"يا غل ُم ! َس ِ ّم الل َه‬
(‫ باب التسمية على الطعام‬، ‫)صحيح البخاري‬
“O boy take Allahl name before eating(Say bismillah),
eat with your right hand and eat from what is in front of
you”.

This might seem ordinary to us. We usually think that

children are small, they are not sensible yet so let them
do whatever they are doing. Its true that children are
not sensible but we are sensible. We have to shape their
habits from the beginning.

Hazrat Hassana was Hazrat Muhammad‫ ﷺ‬beloved

grandson, such was his love for Him that when Hazrat

12
Hassana would enter the masjid , Hazrat Muhammad
‫ ﷺ‬would step down from the Mimbar( elevated place
where Imam gives khutbah) and would take him in his
arms, sometimes Hazrat Hassana would even sit on
the shoulders of the Prophet‫ ﷺ‬while He was praying.
He loved Hazrat Hassana so dearly, however, one day
Hazrat Hassana ate a date that was given in sadqah
(charity) so Hazrat Muhammad‫ ﷺ‬ordered him to throw
it from his mouth:
"‫ِ"ا ْر ِم ِب َها‬
(‫ باب ما يذكرفي الصدقه للنبيﷺ‬،‫)صحيح بخاري‬
(He ordered to spit it out because it was given with the
intention of sadqah and the Prophetsq family can not
from that which is given as charity)

Despite the fact that Hazrat Hassana was an innocent

child and the Prophet‫ ﷺ‬loved him a lot but still the
Prophet‫ ﷺ‬was responsible for giving him tarbiyyah. He
‫ ﷺ‬said:
“No son, you cannot eat this date because it is given in
charity.”

Even though Hazrat Hassana had taken it inside his

mouth but still Hazrat Muhammad‫ ﷺ‬asked him to take
it out. Although Hazrat Hassana was not a mukallaf
(someone who can be held responsible) but the Prophet
‫ ﷺ‬was teaching His ummah the standard on which the
tarbiyyah and upbringing of children should be done.

13
Who Should Be Held Responsible ? Who
Should Be Spared ?
Usually parents say that we explained a lot to our child but
Maulvi Sahab he does not understand, the circumstances
are like this, his friends are like this, the society is like this
and so therefore he does not listen to us. Allahl says
that this excuse would only be accepted if you had been
following this:
َ ُ َ ُ َۡ ۤ ُ ٰ َّ َ ۤ
‫ٰيا ُّي َها ال ِذ ۡي َن ا َم ُن ۡوا ق ۡوا ان ُف َسك ۡم َوا ۡه ِل ۡيك ۡم نا ًرا‬
“O you who believe, save yourself and your families from
a fire.”

(٦:‫)سورة التحريم‬
See, if your child is not sensible and he is going towards
fire then will you just remain seated at your place and
just call out “ no son, don’t go near the fire, you will burn
yourself, you will hurt yourself , or you will die” No . Rather
if you remain seated at your place while your child is going
in the fire then you will be a fool. Everyone will call such
a father who just verbally calls out his son to stay away
from fire rather than getting up and stopping him, a big
fool. But if a father is sensible enough and wants the best
for his son then he will try his best to take his son away
from fire , completely. As long as he does not distance his
son from the fire he will not be at peace . If he is eating
he will not feel hungry anymore, if he is drinking water
he will not feel thirsty anymore , if he was in bed he will

14
not feel sleepy anymore ,until he takes his son to a place
where there is no danger of fire.

So Allahl tells us that the sins of this world are the

fire of hell, if your child is spending his life sinfully, then
just verbally stopping him is not enough, this excuse will
not be accepted that I said him multiple times to stop
doing sins. To stop him from sins you will have to strive
very hard, just like you strive hard to save your child from
the fire of the world. However if you tried very hard and
took all possible measures still the child does not listen
then you will not be held responsible.

One Misunderstanding:
Sometimes people say that the son of Hazrat Nuhq
was also disobedient. But we should keep in mind, that
for hundreds of years Hazrat Nuhq worked on him, he
tried all possible means to bring him to the right path
but he did not listen, therefore, Hazrat Nuhq will not
be responsible for him and His excuse will be accepted.

We will also have to try a lot, we should use all our means
and still if the child remains disobedient then we will not
be held responsible . However if the father just remained
concerned about his own namaz , his own zakat and
sadqah, about his own life and he did not do anything
about the child then he will not be spared.

15
These days the fathers say, “The future of my child is very
bright” , when they are asked how is that so, they reply,
“ he works in this reputable bank and earns this much
money” but when they are asked about the condition of
Deen of their child, they say , “Yes he has strayed away
a little from the path of deen”, for them straying away
a little from deen , is not a big deal.”He does not pray
namaz only” meaning leaving namaz is not a big deal
for them.

Save Their Eeman (faith) Instead Of

Their Future :
Hazrat Mufti shafi sahabt has narrated that once their
was a man and his ruh (soul) had been taken out of his
body. However the people around him thought that he is
still alive. So they called the doctor. The doctor checked
him and said that everything is still fine , his eyes ,tongue
and brain are all right but only his ruh had been taken
out. So when we say that the ruh had been take out , it
implies that nothing has remained inside. Similarly, if the
ruh of Eeman is taken out of a child then that means that
nothing remains inside him. Therefore Allahl orders
َ ُ َ ُ َۡ ۤ ُ
us: ﴾‫ ﴿ق ۡوا ان ُف َسك ۡم َوا ۡه ِل ۡيك ۡم نا ًرا‬that if you are a well wisher
of your children then you should be saving them from
disobeying Allahl (which is actually the fire of hell).

16
Sins In Reality Are Fire:
Allahl says in he Quran:
َ ُ َ ُُۡ ُۡ ۡ َ َ ۡ َ َ ۡ ُ ُ ۡ َ َ ۡ َّ َّ
﴾‫ال ال َي ٰت ٰمى ظل ًما ِا َّن َما َياكل ۡون ِف ۡى ُبط ۡو ِن ِه ۡم نا ًرا‬‫﴿ ِ‌ان ال ِذين ياكلون امو‬
“Surely, those who unjustly devour the property of the
orphans do nothing but devour fire into the bellies.”

(١٠ :‫)سورة النساء‬

What does this mean ? In this verse of the Quran, Allahl
has given us an analogy that sins in reality are the fire of
this world, just like if a room is filled with gas then just
lighting a matchstick can ignite the fire, in the same
way, all the sins that we are committing by disobeying
Allahl will turn into fire as soon as the matchstick is
lighted ( when the trumpet will be blown). Therefore,
Allahl is telling us to save our children from this fire.

Use Words That Affect :

The Prophetsq would spend their lives in the same
way and they would do the upbringing of their children
on the same standard. Allahl says about Hazrat
Ismailq in the Quran that he would order his children
to pray namaz, he would preach them to pray namaz.

َ ٰ َّ َ ٰ َّ ٗ َ ۡ َ ُ ُ ۡ َ َ َ َ
﴾‫الزك ِوة َوك َان ِع ۡن َد َرِّب ٖه َم ۡر ِض ًّيا‬‫﴿و كان يامر اهله ِبالصل ِوة و‬
“He(Hazrat Ismaelq used to in enjoin SALAH and

17
ZAKAH upon his family, and was favourite to his Lord.”

(٥٥ :‫)سورة مريم‬

And he used to enjoin on his people prayer and zakah
and was to his Lord pleasing.Allahl says in the Quran:
ؕ َ َ ۡ َ ٰ َّ َ َ َۡ
﴾‌‫اصط ِب ۡر َعل ۡي َها‬‫﴿وا ُم ۡر ا ۡهل َك ِبالصلوة و‬
“Bid your family to perform Salah.And adhere to it
yourself.”
(١٣٢ :‫)سوره طه‬
َ َ ۡ َ
Here Allahl tells a principal regarding ﴾ؕ‌‫اصط ِب ۡر َعل ۡي َها‬‫﴿و‬
Allahl explains to us that if we want our son to become
regular in namaz then we should become a better
namazi than him, if we want our child to become truthful
then we should become more truthful than him, if we
want our child to be obedient to Allahl than we should
obey Allahl more than him, if we want our child to be
ba ikhlaaq(have good manners) then we should become
more ba ikhlaaq than him, if we want our child to obey us
then we should become more obedient to our parents.
If we are preaching our child to pray namaz then first we
should become steadfast in praying ourselves. Only then
our words will have affect. So Allahl has in this way
taught us the way for the upbringing of our children.

Three Principles Of Raising Children:

The ulema (scholars ) have laid down three principles

18
regarding the upbringing of children.

1. Firstly, from the very beginning we should make our

children habitual of truthfulness. When they become
truthful they will in turn be save from many sins. When
the child will be habitual of speaking truth, he would
know the importance of truth and would have hatred
for lying in his heart, then in turn, the child would
become safe from many sins. Whenever he would be
about to commit a sin in private , his mind will remind
him that later he would have to speak the truth in
front of his father and mother, then he will refrain
from committing that sin. If God forbid he becomes
habitual of lying from a young age, then he would
think that my mother and father are not watching me,
I can do whatever I want and later I can lie in front of
my parents. So inculcating the habit of speaking truth
can save the child from a lot of sins.

2. Secondly we should inculcate the habit of praying

namaz. Prophet Muhammad‫ ﷺ‬has commanded
us to preach namaz to children when they turn 7 ,
to punish them if they don’t pray when they turn 10
ّٰ َ ُْ
years old. (‫ )سبحان الله‬Why has Allahl commanded
so? This is done so that the child does not become
baaligh(mature) without developing the habit of
praying. If the child does not pray after reaching
the age of maturity then his relation with Islam will
become weak and will break. Therefore, from the very

19
 start he should be made habitual of praying and when
he reaches the age of maturity namaz should become
part of him. Although he will not be held accountable
at the age of 10, he will be accountable after reaching
maturity but still because of the importance of namaz
he should be constantly preached about it.

3. Thirdly take your children in the company of the

righteous and the scholars and ask your children
to serve them. When the child will develop
azmat(highness) and importance of the people of
deen then surely he will develop the azmat and
importance of deen as well. He will develop an interest
in deen as well. Previously, Muslims would take care of
this thing but now a days we can see that this practice
is not being widely followed.

The Story Of Imam Shafit:

Once the daughters of Hazrat Imam shafit said to
him that a lot of days have passed without us getting a
chance to serve someone righteous( no one had visited
their place for some time and his daughters stayed at
home so they did not get the chance to serve someone),
so Imam shafi after thinking , suggested that he would
invite one of his students for dinner at home ( he selected
Hazrat Imam Ahmad bin hanbalt. so Hazrat Imam
shafit told his daughters about the righteousness of

20
Hazrat Ahmad bin hanbalt.

Now when Hazrat Ahmad bin hanbalt arrived at

their place, the daughters of Imam shafit prepared
food for him, while cooking they constantly praised and
remembered Allahl because they were very happy
that someone righteous is coming to their place. They
also arranged the place where he would sleep, Along with
that they put some water . After isha , at night ,Hazrat
Ahmadt was given food which he ate completely. Now
when the utensils were returned, the daughters were
very surprised that he had eaten all the food, because
they had this concept in mind that the righteous people
eat less at night as they have to stand for prayer at night
and worship Allahl, but they remained silent . Now at
the time of prayer both the men left home to pray namaz,
so the daughters went inside to re fill the water. When
they entered the room they saw that he had not used the
water at all. So they felt very strange , according to their
father this was a very pious and righteous man and he
had not even got up to pray tahajjud.
ّٰ
(‫)س ْب َحان الله‬
ُ These girls were raised in a very pious
environment and this thought was instilled in their mind
that Muslims ask Allahl at night. They also knew that
pious men get up at the last third of night to pray to
Allahl and they do not sleep heedlessly. So when their
father returned from the masjid they asked him that
what kind of a righteous student he is? He ate all the food

21
and did not even got up for tahajjud as the water was
untouched.

Imam shafit felt very strange but still he went to his

student and narrated the whole incident to him and
asked him that how has he changed so much that he did
not performed these acts? So Imam Ahmadt replied
that I did not want to tell but since you are asking so I
shall tell you. The truth Is that when the food came to me
I felt as if some anwaraat (light) was rising from it and
going towards the skies, so I thought that I should eat all
of it because I did not know if I was ever going to have
such a blessed meal again in my life. Your daughters had
made it with such purity that I ate all of it. Now about the
water that they had put for wuzu , it had remained as it
is because the food was so blessed that after eating it
throughout the night I worshiped Allahl and derived
principles of fiqh from the verses of the Quran, therefore
I did not felt the need to perform another wuzu.

So my honorable brothers, this was how daughters were

raised at that time.

Pious Children Are A Sadqah e Jariah

For Parents:
So my friends this is also our responsibility. When Allahl
has blessed us with children we should take care of
them. As per the saying of Prophet Muhammad‫ ﷺ‬, there

22
are three things that continue to benefit a human even
after his death. Firstly it is the ilm (knowledge) that he
had taught to his student , in which he had perfected
him and made him a teacher. Now as long as he himself
benefits from that knowledge and continues to spread
it , that person will get its reward. Secondly it can be any
good and beneficial deed that he has done as sadqa e
jariah , for that he will also get the reward. Thirdly, he will
get reward for all the good deeds that his children do,
because he had done their tarbiyah . Now this is such an
immense blessing of Allahl that as long as the children
of a person are alive and are performing good deeds their
parents are receiving reward for it as well.

The Fikr (concern) Of The Eeman Of

Children:
So my friends, in order to build make temporary life of
children successful, do not ruin their Aakhirah(afterlife)
and also do not deprive your own self from this blessing.
It is okay if you are giving your child worldly education
but we should be concerned more about their faith and
religion and this should be our priority.

The Story Of Hazrat Yaqoobq:

When Hazrat Yaqoobq was departing from this world,
he gathered all his nieces, grandsons, and children and

23
asked them that who will you worship after I leave this
world?

This incident is narrated in the Quran :

ۢ َ َ َ ‫ض َر َي ۡع ُق ۡو َب ۡالَ ۡو ُۙت ِا ۡذ َق‬
‫ال ِل َب ِن ۡي ِه َما ت ٰ ۡع ُب ُد ۡون ً ِم ۡن‬ َ ‫﴿ا ۡم ُك ۡن ُت ۡم ُش َه َد ٓا َء ا ۡذ َح‬
ِ
َ
ٓ ٰ ٰ ٰ َ َ ؕ ُ
ۚ﴾ ۖ ‫َب ۡع ِد ۡى قال ۡوا ن ۡع ُب ُد ِال َه َك َوِال َه ا َبا ِٕٮ َك ِا ۡب ٰر ٖه َم َوِا ۡس ٰم ِع ۡي َل َوِا ۡس ٰح َق ِال ًها َّو ِاحدا‬
‫م‬

‫م‬

“Is it that you were present when death approached

Ya’qubq, When he said to his sons: “What will you
worship after me”? They said, We will worship your
God and the God of your father’s,Ibrahimq, Ismail
(Ishmael)q and Ishaq (Isaac)q, the one God.”

(١٣٣ :‫)سورة البقرة‬

Even though this household was so guided and from
generations there were Prophetsq in it, such that
the father was a Prophet, grand father was a Prophet ,
the great grand father was also a Prophet but still when
the father was about to leave this world he was worried
about his children, that what will become of their Eeman
after I have left ? What will become of their religion and
Islamic life? Therefore Hazrat Yaqoobq gathered all
his children and told them that it was bothering him a
lot that what religion will you people adopt after I have
left this world? Will you remain steadfast on the deen of
Allahl or will you follow some other religion? I will not
be at peace until I receive the answer for this question.
So his children replied that you do not need to worry we
have heard and seen your life and the lives of our pious

24
ancestors and we will follow the deen that you have
followed.

Now why is Allahl telling us this incident? So that

me and you can realize that a pious and wise father is
concerned about his children in this way, even at the
time of his death what bothers him is the Eeman of his
children, even in his last breaths the only thing that he is
worried about is that what will become of my children's
deen and Eeman after I have left.

The Advise Of Hazrat Luqman (Hakem)

To His Son:
Quran e Kareem narrates the incident of Hazrat Luqman
when he is when he is telling words of tarbiyah and
wisdom to his son,
َ َ ۡ ۡ ُ َ َ َ ۡ َ ۡ ّ َّ َ َ َ ۡ ُ َ ۡ ۤ َ َّ َ ُ ٰ
َّ ‫ص ۡخ َر ٍة َا ۡو ف ۡى‬
‫الس ٰم ٰو ِت ا ۡو‬ ِ َ ٌ ‫يبن َّى ِانها ِان تك ِ ۡمث َقال ۡحب ٍة ِمن ّٰخرد ٍل فت ّٰك َن ِفى‬
‫م‬ ۞‫ض َيا ِت ِب َها الل ُه‌ؕ ِا َّن الل َه ل ِط ۡيف خ ِب ۡي ٌر‬ ۡ ۡ
ِ ‫ِفى الر‬
(Luqman went on saying to his son,) “My dear son, in
fact, if there be anything to the measure of a grain of
Rye, and it be (hidden) in a rock or in the heavens or in
the earth, Allah will bring it forth. Surely, Allah is All-Fine,
All-Aware.”

(١٦ :‫)سوره لقمان‬

Hazrat Luqman is advising his son that o my son , do not
spend a life of ghaflah(heedlessness), there is someone

25
over you who is watching you all the time, never become
heedless or unconcerned of that zaat(Being). He is
watchful over you in any and every state.
ُ َ ُ
﴾ؕ‌‫﴿ َو ُه َو َم َعك ۡم ا ۡي َن َما ك ۡن ُت ۡم‬
“He is with you wherever you are.”

(‫)سورة الحديد‬
If there are two people at a place, He is the third, if there
are three people then He is the fourth, if there are four
people He is the fifth, if there are five people then He is
sixth, it does not matter whether the people are few or
more, Allahl is always present with every one, all the
time. Allahl says in the Quran:
َۤ َّ َ َ َّ َ ٰ َ ُ ُ َ
‫﴿ما َيك ۡون ِم ۡن َّن ۡج ٰوى ثلث ٍة ِال ُه َو َر ِاب ُع ُه ۡم َول خ ۡم َس ٍة ِال ُه َو َس ِاد ُس ُه ۡم َول‬
َّ َ ۡ َ ۤ َ ٰ ٰ َ
‫م‬

‫م‬﴾‫ا ۡدنى ِم ۡن ذ ِل َك َول اكث َر ِال ُه َو َم َع ُه ۡم‬

“No secret consulta-tion takes place between three, but
He is fourth of them, nor between five, but He is sixth
of them, nor between fewer than that or more. But He
is with them.”
(٧ :‫)سورة املجادلة‬

And whatever a human does and then hides it , Allahl

is aware of every minute detail. Allahl says:
ّٰ َ ُ َ ُ ُ ۡ َ ُۡۡ ُ ۡ ۡ ُ
ؕ‌‫ص ُد ۡو ِرك ۡم ا ۡو ت ۡب ُد ۡو ُه َي ۡعل ۡم ُه الل ُه‬ ‫قل ِان تخفوا ما ِفى‬
Say: “Whether you conceal what is in your hearts or

26
reveal it, Allahl will know it.”

(٢٩ :‫)سورة آل عمران‬

Allahl is aware of all the things that we make apparent
and also the things that we hide from everyone. He
knows the secrets that we hide in our chests and He also
knows all the planning that we are doing in our hearts
and all the ideas that we are building in our mind, all the
thoughts that we are lost in and everything that we are
thinking. He is Allahl He knows what enters the earth
and what comes out of it, what is in the atmosphere,
what enters the earth from the atmosphere. Hel is
aware of all the things. We are spending our lives under
his supervision. Allahl says in the Quran:
َ َّ ‫ص ۡخ َر ٍة َا ۡو ف ۡى‬
َ ‫ال َح َّبة ّم ۡن َخ ۡر َدل َف َت ُك ۡن ف ۡى‬ َ ۡ ُ َ ۡ ۤ َّ َ ُ ٰ
‫الس ٰم ٰو ِت ا ۡو‬ ِ ِ ٍ ِ ٍ َ ‫يبن َّى ِان َها ِان تك ِمثق‬
َ ٌ َ ّٰ ّٰ ۡ َۡ ۡ ۡ
‫ا‬۞‫ض َيا ِت ِب َها الل ُه‌ؕ ِا َّن الل َه ل ِط ۡيف خ ِب ۡي ٌر‬ ِ ‫ِفى الر‬
(Luqman went on saying to his son,) “My dear son, in
fact, if there be anything to the measure of a grain of
Rye, and it be (hidden) in a rock or in the heavens or in
the earth, Allahl will bring it forth. Surely, Allahl is
All-Fine, All-Aware."

(١٦ :‫)سوره لقمان‬

O my son, it doesn’t matter whether you disobey
Allahlin the seas , or behind the mountains,, in desert
or in some dark corner , where ever you will commit a

27
sin, Allahl will bring it in front of you , He is all aware of
everything, He is all aware of every minute detail. So this
is how a father is teaching his son to never be heedless
and ghafil of the presence of Allahl.

The Left Out Sunnah, Tehneek:

So my friends, the upbringing of children is obligatory
upon parents and in the past parents would make sure
that they raise their children in such a way that no sunnah
(Practice)of the Prophet Muhammad‫ ﷺ‬if left behind.
“Tehneek” is also a sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad
‫ﷺ‬, which is regarding the first thing that is given in the
mouth of the child after he is born. This sunnah now a
days is completely forgotten . In the past , women were
fearful that what if baby is born and there is nopious elder
nearby to give tehneek to the child, in order to avoid such
a situation they would arrange tehneek months before
the birth of the child, so that as soon as the child is born
he/she is given the saliva of someone pious.

The sahabag would bring their new born to the Holy

Prophet so that Prophet‫ ﷺ‬saw could give tehneek to
the child with His own mubarik( blessed) hands, then
they would ask Prophet‫ ﷺ‬to name the child , so that it
becomes mubarik. The Prophet‫ ﷺ‬himself has taught us
that we should say “Allah o Akbar” in both the ears of the
child, all these acts – the calling out of azaan and iqamat

28
in the ears of the child, the giving of tehnekk by someone
pious, to get the child named by someone pious- implies
that the tarbiyah begins from this age.

The Outcome Of Halaal:

There was a wali (pious person) in kabul whose name was
Dost Muhammad, his son was the commanding officer
of the army, so once he was given the news that his son
has ran away from the battle field. He went to his wife
and told her about this news, but she refused to believe
this news. Dost Muhammad said that this news has
reached him from reliable sources, but still she did not
believe him. After a few days, news reached them that
their son had not fled from the battle field, now she said
that this news is right. So Dost Muhammad asked her,
that you did not believe the first news so why are you
believing this news ? So she said that this was a secret
between me and Allahl, when I was expecting I did
not consume a single morsel that came from doubtful
sources and consuming haram was out of question. After
his birth , I would perform ablution( wuzu) before feeding
him, therefore I was confident that Allahl would bless
my son with bravery and with traits of eeman(faith) and
would not deprive him of these traits.

This was how Muslims would view their children as a

nemat( blessing) of Allahl, for them their children

29
were a source of sadqa e jariah for them. Therefore when
the mothers would hold their children they would recite,
َّ ٰ َ ّٰ َّ َ َّ َ ُ ُ ْ ُ ّٰ ُ ْ َ ْ ْ َ ْ َ ُ ّٰ َّ َ ْ ّ َ ْ ْ َ
‫صلى الل ُه ل ِال َه ِال‬ ‫"حس ِبي رِبي جل الله م ِافي قل ِبي غير الل ِه نور محم ٍد‬
ّٰ
‫ا‬

"‫الل ُه‬
‫ا‬

ّٰ َّ َ ّ َ ْ َ
They would say" )‫ )حس ِب ْي رِب ْي جل الله‬in the ears of the child,
‫ا‬

which means that Allahl is sufficient for us, this is such

a beautiful and meaningful sentence.. that inculcates
in the mind of the child the concept that Allahl is
sufficient for me , from the very beginning. When this
becomes the point of view of the child, then he will
ّٰ ْ َ
never become dependent on anyone.‫ حس ِب َي الله‬Allah is
sufficient for me. Therefore these sentences should be
carved in the hearts and minds of the children,
َّ ُ ْ َ َ ُ ّٰ َّ َ ْ ُ ْ َ َ ُ ّٰ َّ َ ْ ُ ْ َ َ ّٰ ُ ْ َ ْ ْ َ ْ َ
‫ص ْو َد ِال‬ ‫﴿م ِافي قل ِبي غير الل ِه ل معبود ِال الله ل محبوب ِال الله ل مق‬
َّ َ ّٰ َّ ُ ْ َ ّٰ
‫م‬

‫م‬﴾.‫الل ُه ل َمطل ْو َب ِال الل ُه ل َم ْح ُم ْو َد ِال اهللا‬

‘There is no one in my heart except Allah. My God is Allah.
The purpose of my life is Allah. My praise is for Allah.My
Everything is Allah.”

This concept was fed in the minds of the children.

ّٰ َّ ٰ َ ّٰ َّ َ َّ َ ُ ُ ْ ُ
‫م‬ ﴾‫صلى الل ُه ل ِال َه ِال الله‬ ‫﴿نور محم ٍد‬
‫م‬

The best guidance in the world are the blessed teachings

of the Prophet Muhammad ‫ﷺ‬ there is
no one who can fulfill our calls (duas ), nobody can mend
our affairs, no one can ease our sufferings, only Allahl

30
is the being that can do everything.
ّٰ َّ ٰ َ
﴾‫﴿ل ِال َه ِال الل ُه‬
‫ل‬

Disobedient Children Can Be A Source

Of Punishment For The Parents :
My friends, the outcome of the standard on which the
parents did tarbiyah of their children was such that these
children not only became the coolness of their parent’s
eyes in this world, but they also became a source of sadqa
e jariah for their parent’s after life, but we all can see what
is happening today. Therefore, Prophet Muhammad‫ﷺ‬
said that when parents disobey Allahl for the sake of
their children then Allahl would make these children
a test for the parents. So for the sake of whom , Allahl
was disobeyed, they will be inflicted on you.

Today, our children have become a trial for us, they are a
source of difficulty and sadness for us because for the sake
of building their career and worldly life we have plunged
them in non islamic environment . We did not think
that we had to make them a slave of Allahl, we were
responsible of teaching them the way to recite Quran , we
had to check whether they were offering namaz in the
right way or not. When the father of such children passes
away, then they will not recite anything for their father,
they cannot recite anything because we had not taught
them anything in the first place, we admitted them from
the very beginning in such schools where lessons were

31
given regarding cats and dogs, we sent them in such
nurseries where lessons of cats and dogs are taught. If
from the very beginning, we had introduced them to
Allahl and the sayings of the Prophet Muhammad‫ﷺ‬
then today they would not only have become a slave of
Allahl but also they would have become sincere to us
as well. If , despite getting the opportunity we don’t do so
then the children will not become slave of Allahl and
would also be in sincere to us, but rather , they would
grab and pull our collars on the day of judgement and
say,
َ ٰ ۤ َ ‫َ َّب َن ۤا ا َّن ۤا َا َط ۡع َنا َس َاد َت َنا َو ُك َب َ ٓرا َء َنا َف َا‬
َّ ‫ض ُّل ۡو َنا‬
‫الس ِب ۡي َل۞ َرَّب َنا ا ِت ِه ۡم ِض ۡعف ۡي ِن‬ ِ ‫ر‬
ََۡ َ
۞‫اب‬ ِ ‫ِمن العذ‬
‫ا‬

“Our Lord, we obeyed chiefs and our elders, and they

made us to go astray from the path. Our Lord, give them
twice the punishment.”

(٦٧, :‫)سورة االحزاب‬

O Our lord! our elders have deviated us from the right
path, they gave us such an unsuitable and in appropriate
environment , they made business for us from un lawful
resources. We have followed our elders . O Allahl we
know that we are deserving of your punishment but
since our parents Have not guided us about the right
path so you should inflict double punishment on them.

The same children for whose sake we endured so many

difficulties and hardships in this world,, for the sake of

32
making their clothes ,setting their business for taking
care of their health, but if we do not worry about saving
their faith (eeman) then on the day of judgment the
same children will become a witness against us.

Children Are A Blessing Of Allahl:

My friends, children are a great blessing of Allahl In
the Quran , Allahl mentions the dua(supplication) of
his beloved servants:
ۡ ۡ ۡ َّ ُ ۡ َ َ َّ ُ َ ّٰ ّ ُ َ َ َ ۡ َ ۡ َ َ ۡ َ َ َّ َ
‫ب‬﴾‫اج َعل َنا ِلل ُم َّت ِق ۡي َن ِا َم ًاما‬‫﴿ربنا هب لـنا ِمن ازو ِاجنا وذ ِري ِتنا قرة اعي ٍن و‬
“And make us heads of the God-fearing.”

“Our Lord give us from our spouses and our children,

comfort of eyes.And make us heads of the God-
fearing.”

(‫)سورة الفرقان‬
O Allahl! Make our spouses and children a source of
coolness of our eyes , and not only make us pious but
make us a leader of the pious. Make us such that others
become pious just by looking at our character, people
mend their lives just by seeing the example of our healthy
lives.

So this should be the call of parents, their supplication

and their biggest concern that their children should
become pious and righteous. Today, unfortunately a

33
father changes his own life style , prays namaz in the
first row ,follows religion but he is not concerned about
the direction that his children are following , he does not
know what his children are running after. So my friends,
on the day of judgement these children can become a
source of punishment for us. Therefore, in order to save
ourselves from this punishment we should be concerned
of ways of doing their right tarbiyyah.

May Allahlgive is the opportunity to not just say but

also practice these teachings.

.‫واخردعوانا ان الحمد هلل رب العاملين‬

‫ا‬

34
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