Unit 1: Self-Development

Module 1:
Knowing and Understanding Oneself during Middle and Late Adolescence

SELF-CONCEPT
Imagine yourself looking into a mirror. What do you see? Do you see your ideal self or your actual
self? Your ideal self is the self that you aspire to be. It is the one that you hope will possess
characteristics similar to that of a mentor or some other worldly figure. Your actual self, however, is
the one that you actually see. It is the self that has characteristics that you were nurtured or, in some
cases, born to have.
The actual self and the ideal self are two broad categories of self-concept. Self-concept refers to
your awareness of yourself. It is the construct that negotiates these two selves. In other words, it
connotes first the identification of the ideal self as separate from others, and second, it
encompasses all the behaviors evaluated in the actual self that you engage in to reach the ideal self.

The actual self is built on self-knowledge. Self-knowledge is derived from social interactions that
provide insight into how others react to you. The actual self is who we actually are. It is how we
think, how we feel, look, and act. The actual self can be seen by others, but because we have no
way of truly knowing how others view us, the actual self is our self-image.
The ideal self, on the other hand, is how we want to be. It is an idealized image that we have
developed over time, based on what we have learned and experienced. The ideal self could include
components of what our parents have taught us, what we admire in others, what our society
promotes, and what we think is in our best interest.
There is negotiation that exists between the two selves which is complex because there are
numerous exchanges between the ideal and actual self.These exchanges are exemplified in social
roles that are adjusted and re-adjusted, and are derived from outcomes of social interactions from
infant to adult development. Alignment is important. If the way that I am (the actual self) is aligned
with the way that I want to be (the ideal self), then I will feel a sense of mental well-being or peace of
mind. If the way that I am is not aligned with how I want to be, the incongruence, or lack of
alignment, will result in mental distress or anxiety. The greater the level of incongruence between
the ideal self and real self, the greater the level of resulting distress. Personal development modules
ultimate aim is greater self-knowledge that will lead to higher alignment between these two
personality domains.

PERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS
Personal effectiveness means making use of all the personal resources – talents, skills, energy
and time, to enable you to achieve life goals.
Your knowledge of yourself and how you manage yourself impacts directly on your personal
effectiveness. Being self-aware, making the most of your strengths, learning new skills and
techniques and behavioral flexibility are all keys to improving your personal performance.
Our personal effectiveness depends on our innate characteristics – talent and experience
accumulated in the process of personal development. Talents first are needed to be identified and
then developed to be used in a particular subject area (science, literature, sports, politics, etc.).
Experience includes knowledge and skills that we acquire in the process of cognitive and practical
activities.
Knowledge is required for setting goals, defining an action plan to achieve them and risk
assessment.
Skills also determine whether real actions are performed in accordance with the plan. If the same
ability is used many times in the same situation, then it becomes a habit that runs automatically,
subconsciously.

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Here are some skills that will greatly increase the efficiency of any person who owns them:

1. Determination. It allows you to focus only on achieving a specific goal without being
distracted by less important things or spontaneous desires. It may be developed with the help
of self-discipline exercise.
2. Self-confidence. It appears in the process of personal development, as a result of getting
aware of yourself, your actions and their consequences. Self-confidence is manifested in
speech, appearance, dressing, gait, and physical condition. To develop it, you need to learn
yourself and your capabilities, gain positive attitude and believe that by performing right
actions and achieving right goals you will certainly reach success.
3. Persistence. It makes you keep moving forward regardless of emerging obstacles –
problems, laziness, bad emotional state, etc. It reduces the costs of overcoming obstacles. It
can also be developed with the help of self-discipline exercise.
4. Managing stress. It helps combat stress that arises in daily life from the environment and
other people. Stress arises from the uncertainty in an unknown situation when a lack of
information creates the risk of negative consequences of your actions. It increases efficiency
in the actively changing environment.
5. Problem-solving skills. They help cope with the problems encountered with a lack of
experience. It increases efficiency by adopting new ways of achieving goals when obtaining a
new experience.
6. Creativity. It allows you to find extraordinary ways to carry out a specific action that no one
has tried to use. It can lead to a decrease or an increase of costs, but usually the speed of
action is greatly increased when using creative tools.
7. Generating ideas. It helps you achieve goals using new, original, unconventional ideas. Idea
is a mental image of an object formed by the human mind, which can be changed before
being implemented in the real world. For generating ideas, you can use a method of mental
maps, which allows you to materialize, visualize and scrutinize all your ideas, which in turn
contributes to the emergence of new ideas. These are just some, but the most important
personal effectiveness skills which make the achievement of any goal easier and less costly.

Story: YOU NEED TO TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR FUTURE

There are three kinds of people in this world:
The first is the Moviegoer. This person watches the movie of their lives, admires some parts and
criticizes others. Aside from that, they do nothing else. All she says the whole day is, “I like this
thing and but I don’t like that thing.” The Moviegoer feels she has absolutely no control of their
lives --- except to comment about it. Moviegoers are the most pathetic, miserable people in the
world.
The second is the Actor. This person does not only watch the movie of her life. She actually
realizes she’s the Actor – and can control a big part of her life. She can actually make or break the
movie – by how well she delivers her lines and how she portrays her character. Actors are a
happy bunch, realizing they’re the start of the show and enjoy some level of control. But many
times, they wish the movie would end in another way – but realize that they have no say in such
things.
The third is the Scriptwriter. This person does not only watch, and she doesn’t only act, but she
actually creates the entire movie from her mind. She determines what she will say, what she will
do, and how the movie will end. She realizes she has enormous control over her life, and sees to it
that the movie of her life will turn out beautiful.
Who are you among these three people?
Do you merely watch your life go by?
Or do you act out a script that you feel has been handed to you? Or do you write the script and
make your life beautiful?

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By the way, the Producer of the movie is God. He tells you, “Make the movie beautiful, and I will
give you all that you need for success.”