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Tea and Topics - Friendships and Sibling Rivalry

This document discusses strategies for building healthy relationships and addressing common issues children face with friendships and siblings. It provides guidance on topics like sibling rivalry, navigating peer pressure, resolving conflicts, and promoting individuality to prevent comparisons. The document emphasizes listening to children, role modeling positive communication, and teaching conflict resolution skills. Counselors are available to help with issues like bullying or unhealthy friendships. Parents are encouraged to celebrate each child's strengths and support their social-emotional development.

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JJ
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26 views29 pages

Tea and Topics - Friendships and Sibling Rivalry

This document discusses strategies for building healthy relationships and addressing common issues children face with friendships and siblings. It provides guidance on topics like sibling rivalry, navigating peer pressure, resolving conflicts, and promoting individuality to prevent comparisons. The document emphasizes listening to children, role modeling positive communication, and teaching conflict resolution skills. Counselors are available to help with issues like bullying or unhealthy friendships. Parents are encouraged to celebrate each child's strengths and support their social-emotional development.

Uploaded by

JJ
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Tea and Topics

Friendships and Sibling Rivalry

Ms. Monika - Lead Counsellor


Ms. Tree - Junior School Counsellor
12th March 2023
Motto - If the heart is right, all is well
You've Got A Friend In Me
Randy Newman (Toy Story)
While We Wait……

Role Model
● Please say hello & introduce
yourself to someone you don’t
know
● Tell each other who was your
best friend at school and why
Role Modelling
Healthy Relationships

• Children first learn about relationships from


their families
• Children with healthy relationship models
create similar relationships outside their families
• Your children listen & watch how you talk to your
own friends, the nanny, shop assistants, other
family, & gossiping
Sibling Rivalry
Our Get Along Shirt
The impact of Sibling Rivalry

Negative Impact: Positive Impact:


○ Emotional distress (sadness, ○ Develop social & emotional
anger, frustration) skills (communication,
○ Social difficulties (trouble negotiation)
building friendships) ○ Build resilience (learn to
○ Academic setbacks (lack of focus overcome challenges)
due to stress) ○ Appreciate individuality
○ Strained family relationships (recognising differences in
(constant conflict creates tension) each other)
Reasons for Conflict
Sibling Friendships
Problem Solving for Siblings &
Friendship Issues
Table Talk

Please discuss together the scenario on your table


Share your own experiences related to these scenarios
Post It Note - Write a few points on how best to
support your child with this friendship issue.
1. The New Friend

Your child comes home from school excitedly talking about a new friend
they've made. However, you notice that this friend often excludes your child
from group activities. How do you help your child navigate this situation while
fostering positive social skills?

● Validate your child's excitement about the new friend while


being curious and gently asking about their interactions.
● Teach your child about healthy boundaries and
assertiveness. Encourage them to communicate their
feelings and preferences if they feel excluded.
● Role-play scenarios with your child to help them practice
assertive communication and problem-solving skills.
● Ask your child about opportunities to make new friends and
expand their social circle in & outside of school.
2. Conflict with a Friend
Your child & their best friend have a disagreement over a game they were
playing. Your child is upset and doesn't know how to resolve the conflict.
How do you guide them in finding a solution and maintaining their
friendship?

● Listen to your child's perspective on the disagreement without


immediately taking sides.
● Teach conflict resolution skills such as active listening, expressing
feelings using "I" messages & brainstorming mutually agreeable
solutions.
● Encourage your child to approach their friend calmly and express
how they feel about the situation, using respectful language.
● Help your child understand that disagreements are a normal part
of friendships and can be resolved through communication and
compromise.
3. Peer Pressure
Your child's friend is pressuring them to be mean & exclude another friend
from the group. Your child is worried if they don’t go along with it they will be
excluded. How do you support your child in making positive choices while still
navigating peer influence?

● Have an open and non-judgmental conversation with your child


about the peer pressure they're facing.
● Empower your child to make their own decisions by discussing
the consequences of different choices and helping them
develop strategies for resisting peer pressure.
● Role-play refusal skills with your child to help them practice
saying "no" assertively and confidently.
● Encourage your child to seek out friendships with peers who
share their values and interests.
4. Competing for Attention

Your older child feels neglected because you've been spending more time
with their younger sibling who requires extra care. The older child starts
acting out & seeking negative attention. How do you address the imbalance
& reassure both children of your love and attention?

● Acknowledge your older child's feelings and reassure them of your


love and attention.
● Schedule one-on-one time with each child to spend quality time
together, engaging in activities you and they enjoy.
● Involve the child in caregiving tasks for the younger sibling,
fostering a sense of responsibility and inclusion.
● Encourage cooperative activities that promote sibling bonding and
teamwork.
5. Toy Disputes

Your children are arguing over a toy, each claiming it's theirs and refusing to
share. How do you intervene to teach them about taking turns, sharing, and
resolving conflicts peacefully?

● Calmly intervene emphasising the importance of sharing and


taking turns.
● Model positive conflict resolution by guiding the children
through a negotiation process to find a fair solution.
● Teach your children empathy by encouraging them to
consider each other's feelings and perspectives.
● Implement a system for sharing toys fairly, such as a timer or
rotation schedule, to prevent future conflicts.
6. Comparisons & Favouritism
Your children frequently compare themselves to each other, and one child
feels like they're always being compared unfavorably to their sibling, cousin,
family friend. How do you promote a sense of individuality and celebrate each
child's unique strengths?

● Avoid comparing your children or favouring one over the other,


as this can create jealousy and resentment.
● Celebrate each child's unique strengths and accomplishments.
● Encourage your children to support and cheer for each other's
successes rather than viewing them as competition.
● Create opportunities for them to collaborate, such as family
outings or shared hobbies.
How to Help with Drama

● Stay Calm and non-judgemental


● Let them know you are there for them
● Encourage your child to describe what has happened
● If they complain that someone would not sit next to
them. Ask how that made them feel.
● Listen how your child talks about others, is it
appropriate?
● Don’t try and fix it!
Changes in Friendships

As we grow older & learn more about ourselves & our interests, our
friendships may naturally change. This is because our friends are also
growing & discovering what they like & don't like. You may need to let
go of old friends to make way for new friends.
Teachable Moments

❖ An opportunity to teach effective coping skills and


strategies for dealing with painful emotions
❖ Normalise changes in relationships
❖ Discuss: how the change has impacted them, ways
they can manage and how to move forward.
❖ It’s important to resist the temptation to ‘problem
solve’ directly with the friend’s family.
❖ This can create more problems, but also removes an
opportunity for children to practice their social &
emotional skills.
Rude Vs. Mean Vs. Bullying

Rude = Carelessly saying or doing something


that hurts someone else
Mean = Purposefully saying or doing something
to hurt someone, 1-2 times
Bullying = Intentionally aggressive behaviour,
repeated over time & involves an imbalance of
power
If your child is being Bullied

● Listen and provide support to your child


● Try to understand what has been happening,
how often & how long
● Encourage social skills: be assertive, tell the bully
to stop, & seek adult help (teacher, trusted adult)
● Support your child to think through different
ways they could deal with the problem
● If needed, contact your child’s teacher
Bullying

If your child tells you about bullying they have seen


or heard at school or on social media (LINE)
● Encourage your child to stand up for the child
who is being bullied or support the child after
● Encourage your child to report what they have
seen or heard to a teacher
● Upstanders
Questions & Parent Feedback
Please scan the QR code and complete this feedback form
Ms Monika: [email protected]
Ms Tree: [email protected]
What are your child’s top strengths

Values In Action (VIA) Character Strengths - https://www.viacharacter.org/


Parenting dilemmas

1. What can you do


when your children
don’t get on, but
you as parents do?

2. What can you do if


you feel your child is
in an unhealthy
friendship?
Resources

Your child’s emotional needs: This book discusses the emotional needs of
children at various developmental stages from birth to age 12. V. Flory
(2005).
A parent’s treasure chest: Exploring the path to resilience. User-friendly
book provides information on emotional intelligence, problem solving &
optimism for parents and carers. C. Jenkin, & A. McGenniss (2000).
Mind your mind: How to master your thoughts and feelings. This book
provides clear information for parents and children on the link between
thoughts, feelings and behaviour. By J. Johnsen, & L. Hay (1996).
The optimistic child. This book provides exercises and strategies that can
be used to teach children optimistic thinking patterns. By M. E. Seligman
(1995).
Arthur is a PBS kid’s series that has activities that parents & teachers can
use to help children develop social & emotional skills. Games, activities &
suggestions.
Resources

https://www.socialthinking.com/
Friendships -- Helping Your Child Through Early
Adolescence

Getting to know your children’s friends - tips for parents


School Age Friendships - How to support them
Raising Children
How to support your shy child
The Friendship Book
Being Bossy Isn’t Sweet

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