NAZISH S. QAZI

AM I HAPPY WITH
MY DIRECTION?
FIND YOUR TRUE LIFE PATH AND
CREATE A HAPPIER FUTURE

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

2
Am I Happy With My Direction? Find your true-life path and create a happier future
1st edition
© 2018 Nazish S. Qazi & bookboon.com
ISBN 978-87-403-1977-4

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

3
 AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? Contents

CONTENTS
About the author 6

1 Where to start? 9
1.1 The Tools 10

2 What makes a happy life? 12

2.1 Stages of Happiness 13

3 Where am I going? 16
3.1 Imaginative Thinking 17
3.2 Visualization and Your Brain 21
3.3 The Purpose of a Life Path 22

4 What should I change?

360° 26

.
4.1 Recognizing the Reasons 26
4.2 Changing for Good
thinking 29

360°
thinking . 360°
thinking .
Discover the truth at www.deloitte.ca/careers Dis

© Deloitte & Touche LLP and affiliated entities.

Discover the truth at www.deloitte.ca/careers © Deloitte & Touche LLP and affiliated entities.

Deloitte & Touche LLP and affiliated entities.

Discoverfree
Download theeBooks
truth atatbookboon.com
www.deloitte.ca/careers
Click on the ad to read more
4
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? CONTENTS

5 What is my future? 31
5.1 Setting My Compass 32
5.2 Future Impressions 33
5.3 Seeing is Believing 35

6 Which way next? 39

6.1 On the Right Track 39
6.2 The Next Step 41
6.3 Aligning Your Compass 41

7 Final words 43

8 References 45

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

5
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? About the author

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Nazish S. Qazi, MSc.

Life Coach, Business Trainer and Author

If you had asked me as a child,“What do you want to be when you grow up?”, my reply
would definitely not have been ‘writer’. Back then, my answer was a vehement, “I want to
be an artist, a painter!” Then, you may wonder why I am here, writing these books. And
quite rightly say, “Well, at least you are still doing something creative”.

As is often the case, the road to my current destination has been a rather winding one.
When I started school I could hardly speak any English. As a foreigner in England, I had
little in common with the other kids. Although, I was not a natural introvert, the teachers
reported that I was a shy child. Hence, it is not surprizing that, as soon as I had learned
to read, you would find me in the library, lost in a world of imagination and wonder. My
closest companions were story books and fairy tales.

Thus, my career started with pursuing art which evolved to graphic design. However, by the
time I reached my early twenties and after many trials, I concluded that art college and the
design world were not particularly interested in my talents. So I took whatever office jobs
I could get, in order to pay the rent, whilst pursuing my creative drives outside of work.
Over the next ten years, I managed to accumulate a broad knowledge of the commercial
world whilst working in many companies from retail and recruitment to marketing and
insurance, within the private, public and voluntary sectors.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

6
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? About the author

The turning point came in 1997, whilst working for a training company and a nagging
feeling was growing inside of me. I began to realize that despite the extensive experience, and
helping others develop their careers, I had made little progress of my own. It was time for
a re-think and, after much critical self-analysis, I found that underneath what seemed like
a patchwork career, there lay a common denominator throughout all of my previous roles.

Incredibly, the ‘eureka’ moment came when I discovered that, whilst I had been pursuing
my first love, art and design, I had been ignoring my one persistent passion. For as long
I could remember, I had always been studying human behaviour. The inclination was so
innate that I had never even noticed it. The same preoccupation still remains strong today.
Consequently, the jigsaw pieces soon fell into place and my life path became clear.

Very soon, I returned to university and in 2002, emerged with Bachelor and Master degrees
in Psychology. During my studies, I explored that common denominator and concluded
that I had a particular penchant for recognising a person’s deeper psychological needs. I
enjoyed nothing more than guiding people to develop themselves.

Also, I realized that ‘The Silva Method’ course, which I had done back in 1985 and
successfully practiced, could also be applied to this new career direction. Both of my parents
were former Silva instructors and various people had often suggested that I too, would make
a good instructor. And so, another piece in the puzzle fitted perfectly.

Since then, I have not looked back and established a deeply rewarding career in creating and
delivering training and coaching programs. Also, with a multicultural upbringing, having
travelled widely and lived/ worked in England, Germany, Spain and Middle America, I
have gained a profound understanding of many different cultures.

Over the years, I have designed and delivered a multitude of training courses, from
management coaching, business communication and soft skills training, to career/self
development programs for the unemployed, young adults and alcohol/drug misuse clients.
Working in companies ranging from small businesses, colleges, training schools to large
councils and giant multi-nationals has given me in-depth business knowledge.

Since 2004, my focus has been in coaching individuals to achieve their own career and
life goals. Behind the scenes, I have overcome my own life challenges, both personal and
professional problems, and not only lost that childhood shyness, but conquered the fear of
public speaking.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

7
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? About the author

With all this psychology and behavioural knowledge, I have come to realize that there are
certain fundamental weaknesses, needs and difficulties that we all commonly have as humans.
At some point, we all need a helping hand in order to defeat the dragons of life. Hence,
my books are written with the intention to bring down-to-earth guidance and provide user-
friendly tools, which everyone can use.

Yes, I have gone full circle and returned to using my creative abilities. Now, I enjoy my
introverted side with time for reading, researching and writing. I continue to add to my
portfolio of human knowledge through observation and running my coaching company,
Jivon Deesha. Thus, as any good teacher or coach should do, I am compelled to share all
this knowledge with you. Occasionally, I still dabble in art, my first love, but most of the
time I am completely absorbed in my enduring passion.

As always, I wish you the most rewarding life changes so that you too can find your life
path. If you want to know more about my coaching, courses or would like to share your
experiences and ‘eureka’ moments, I would be delighted to hear from you.

Contact Information:
For updates on my books, blogs and videos, please Like my Facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/Jivon-Deesha-924982010887997/

Email me Nazish Qazi, on [email protected]

Subscribe to my website: http://www.jivondeesha.com/

If you subscribe, I will personally keep you updated with an occasional email and include
free self development methods or details about new projects. I promise that I will never send
you mass mailings as those are rather annoying and simply not my way of doing things.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

8
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? Where to start?

1 WHERE TO START?
“The meaning of life is to find your gift.
The purpose of life is to give it away.”

– William Shakespeare

Take a moment to ask yourself, ‘Is my work making me happy? Is it taking me in the right
direction?’ In other words, do you feel satisfied with your job/career/work-life and can you
see a future of prosperity and fulfilment?

Does the work you do make you feel motivated? I mean deeply motivated. Do you feel
motivated enough so that even if you wake up tired and the weather is horrible, you still
want to go to work? Do you have enthusiasm and drive even when the boss or co-workers
are stressed? Are you using all of your capabilities? Do you feel you are following your life’s
purpose and doing the work you love to do? Or, are your true strengths and skills sitting
on a shelf gathering dust inside the ‘stationary’ cupboard?

Perhaps you think these questions are absurd. Of course, no one feels driven when they are
tired, stressed and the weather is horrible! And how can you possibly find a job that fits
with all your specific needs and uniquely peculiar talents? How would you even start to
find your future life path, let alone make a living from it?!

In the past, I had my fair share of the ‘rat race’. I did thankless tasks in numerous unfulfilling
jobs, alongside miserable people and in stressful environments. It was then I began to
realize that, no matter what our background, status, salary or job role, we are all striving
for the same thing in the end; to find happiness. Eventually, after many jobs over many
years, I have discovered that it is possible to get off that ‘hamster wheel’ and create a more
rewarding and fulfilling career.

Let me assure you that when you find the occupation that super charges your motivation,
there will be no stopping you! For instance, I awoke at three this morning, having slept
only a couple of hours, feeling wide awake and my mind full of ideas. Usually, I sleep right
through the night and it’s certainly not something I do regularly but this time I decided to
get up and make the most of it. I switched on the computer and began to write. To me,
writing is a most obvious and natural occupation, or rather, preoccupation. Now, wouldn’t
you like to discover yours?

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

9
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? Where to start?

Do you feel unhappy with your job at the moment or have you been unsatisfied with all
your jobs to date? Maybe there are several options ahead of you and you are unsure of
which to take. On the other hand, it could be that you like your job but cannot figure out
exactly why you feel discontent. Perhaps, deep down you feel that life has much more to
offer you and just don’t know where to begin. If so, this is the best place to start.

This book is the first in the series called, ‘Am I Happy?’ and it will help you build the
necessary foundation to create the life you really, truly want. Here, you will discover your
future work-life direction which some call, ‘true North’, ‘destiny’ or ‘life purpose’, which I
refer to as life path. You will slowly unveil your heart’s deepest desire, the occupation that
is most fulfilling for you and the long-term direction of your life.

If you make a commitment to yourself now, to read and apply the tools, then I am certain
you will find the right answers and get yourself on track. Here, you will not only find your
life path, but create a clear vision of the future. Also, with this understanding, you will
gain greater self-awareness and inner confidence. This will start your route towards a much
more rewarding future and bring you the kind of happiness that lasts.

Toolbox

1.1 THE TOOLS

The ‘tools’ are all unique exercises which I have designed that will take you step-by-step
towards finding and creating the desired future that lies inside your heart and mind. These
include questionnaires, particular techniques and simple practices.

These tools have been arranged in a specific order which I have found to work best with
clients. You will gradually uncover your hidden thoughts and feelings, whilst omitting
external influences. Then, you will clearly define your particular future direction and set
the stage for the next step.

It is best to take your time, read the whole book slowly from beginning to end and do
the exercises as you go along. Please do not to skip any of the exercises or do them in a
different order but follow the steps and methods as set out.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

10
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? Where to start?

I recommend that you do not to read or try to do exercises whilst you are at work or driving
a vehicle. You will need to be able to think clearly and objectively, so allow yourself time
and space away from the working environment.

You will need: a pen, pencil, small paper note book, ordinary plain (printing) paper and
some old magazines. If possible, a voice recording app on your mobile phone or other
electronic device and a pair of earphones would be useful.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

11
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? What makes a happy life?

2 WHAT MAKES A HAPPY LIFE?

“Everyone, by nature, has a desire to have a happy life…
and everyone has the same right to a happy life.”

– H.H. 14th Dalai Lama

When someone asks, “How are you, how is it going?”, meaning, ‘are you happy with life,
work and health’, how do you usually respond? Most probably, you reply “I am fine, thanks”
but inwardly, you wonder if you are actually fine. Then you begin to think, “Why do I
always say that? I know I am not at all fine or happy.” Perhaps you question, “Why do
we all make this pretence? Why can’t we just say, I feel tired, I am stressed, or I just don’t
like my job?”

Usually, if it does not concern physical health, you rarely admit anything bad is going on,
especially to work colleagues. Thus, the pretence of happiness is perpetuated by the words
you use, as well as your thoughts. Maybe you don’t pay much attention to being happy in
your day-to-day work. Meanwhile, perhaps something keeps nagging you at the back of
your mind?

Before we can begin the journey towards finding your true direction and creating the work-
life you truly want, we need to understand what is meant by happiness. What exactly is
being happy? Happy can mean being exuberantly excited as you would feel if you won
the lottery. But happy can also mean the feeling you have when you’ve completed a long,
exhausting project or just doing your job well by helping a customer. It can simply be a
calm feeling of contentment and just being satisfied.

In the English language, we often use the word ‘happy’ in a very general sense and it can
imply an array of different feelings. The dictionaries have various definitions such as: being
pleased and in a good mood /satisfied and not worried /showing a feeling of contentment or
pleasure /a willingness to do something /a sense of trust or confidence in something.

Happiness is an emotion or feeling that each person perceives differently and experiences
to varying degrees. Sometimes, it is better described using other synonyms which are more
specific such as feeling joy, gladness, bliss, pleasure, lucky or fortunate, cheerful, jolly,
delighted, thrilled or euphoric.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

12
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? What makes a happy life?

2.1 STAGES OF HAPPINESS

So, what constitutes being happy in life? Over recent years, our understanding of happiness
has developed significantly by studies such as that conducted by psychologist, Martin
Seligman and his team1. Their research looked at the question of, “What makes happy
people, happy?”, and found three different dimensions or stages of happiness:

a) The pleasant life; learning to enjoy and appreciate the basic pleasures of life such
as being in a natural/outdoors environment, having companionship or savouring
physical desires. However, this kind of happiness is only temporary and fades
away quickly.
b) The good life; discovering and using your talents, skills and strengths and applying
them creatively in your work. This brings more sustained happiness.
c) The meaningful life; is being able to feel a deep sense of fulfilment by using your
strengths and talents as in b, but for a greater purpose such as being of service
to others. This level of happiness brings a much deeper sense of satisfaction and
long-lasting contentment.

These studies have shown that different levels of happiness require particular factors which
we can all work towards and cultivate in order to become ‘happier’. In this book you will
take the first steps to creating long-term happiness by building a firm foundation for a
‘good life’, which will eventually lead to a more ‘meaningful life’.

Now, you may be wondering what your level of happiness has to do with uncovering
your future direction. Perhaps you are already aware of all that would make you happy in
the future. However, in order to figure out where your life is headed, you must first have
a clear understanding of where you are at present. The following tool is a simple gauge to
help you identify your level of happiness at the moment.

Toolbox

Exercise 2.1: How Happy am I?

Here is the first tool to measure your level of happiness at work. Write down your answers
in your notebook. Be spontaneous and honest with your answers. Don’t try to make any
excuses for the way you feel and do not start analysing your present situation.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

13
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? What makes a happy life?

1. A simple way to gauge your happiness level is by using a scale of 1 to 10. If

1 is very unhappy and 10 is completely happy, what number would you use
to describe how you feel about work? (If 1–10 is too basic, use a percentage
scale of 1–100%.)
2. In case you are feeling a little confused with question 1 and cannot answer
immediately, perhaps because your level of happiness is much more complex
and may depend on various factors. If so, give a happiness rating (1–10) about
how you feel regarding each of the following points:
• your responsibilities, duties, projects or tasks
• working hours, timeframes or schedules
• your level of knowledge, training or learning needs
• the support and supervision you receive
• the type of company you work for
• your physical work space, equipment or environment
• the atmosphere or morale of staff
• the company’s ethics, management, regulations or systems
• the satisfaction you feel at the end of the day/week
3. Write down this sentence: ‘Today, my level of happiness is…out of 10 (or…%)
and my work makes me feel….’
4. What do you usually do to bring more happiness into your work-life? Are these
things giving you long-term or short-term happiness?
5. With regard to the three stages mentioned above; a pleasant life, good life
or meaningful life, which stage are you presently in? Which stage would you
like to be in?

If your level of happiness is anything less than 8 out of 10 (80%), then most probably, there
are some specific barriers standing in your way. Any negative or ‘non-happy’ feelings will
underline this. If you are always looking for external distractions and short-term pleasures,
it is a fair indication that you have not yet found true happiness in your work. When you
eventually find more meaning and fulfilment in your work, those basic pleasures will not
be as necessary.

The above exercise will help you begin to identify the specific things that make you feel
unhappy or dissatisfied and which need to be addressed. Write down any further thoughts
that come up in your notebook as you will explore these further in the coming chapters.

Generally, most people are never shown how and/or even consider the possibility, that their
work could bring them long-term happiness. They usually do not consider that happiness is
something that can be ‘created’ and only relate it to having fun, going on holiday or doing
leisure activities. However, being deeply happy or satisfied in life is a feeling we can all

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

14
 AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? What makes a happy life?

learn to develop. It comes hand-in-hand with being on track with your true-life path and
doing the work you really want to do.

The next step will be to explore your deeper desires and long-held wishes which may have
always been lying hidden underneath the pile of must-do’s and what everyone else needs
you to do.

TMP PRODUCTION NY026057B 4 12/13/2013

6x4 PSTANKIE ACCCTR00
gl/rv/rv/baf Bookboon Ad Creative

All rights reserved.

© 2013 Accenture.

Bring your talent and passion to a

global organization at the forefront of
business, technology and innovation.
Discover how great you can be.
Visit accenture.com/bookboon

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

Click on the ad to read more
15
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? Where am I going?

3 WHERE AM I GOING?
“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where –” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.
“– so long as I get somewhere,” Alice added as an explanation.”

– Lewis Carroll

Inevitably, you will end up somewhere on your career path, whether you take the long,
difficult and winding road or the short, easy and happy one. However, where that somewhere
happens to be and which road you take, is up to you. If you don’t know your direction
or at least have a general idea, you could find yourself on a meandering path to nowhere.
Whichever destination you choose, you will sooner or later, get there. It is all a matter of
what you will allow yourself to imagine.

Some people leave one job for a better job, only to find themselves in the next equally
disappointing position. You can argue that ‘all experience is good experience’. For some,
it is worthwhile to do many different jobs and only stay in each job for a short time. You
could gain a variety of skills and experience, especially if you don’t know which profession
to follow. So, if you are currently ‘job-hopping’, ask yourself this question, “Am I happy
most of the time?” If the answer is ‘yes’, then that is good and you are on track! Keep
doing it until you eventually feel the urge for something to change.

However, if your answer is ‘no’, and you realize that you are constantly unhappy, anxious or
looking for the next job, then it is probably time to pay attention to that urge and reassess
your job-hopping strategy. Usually, people who are desperately trying to find another job,
better pay or a different role, often have no idea how to find it. Their focus is blurred
by confusing signposts, bad advice or a lack of self-confidence. Or sometimes, it is simply
because they cannot ‘see the wood for the trees’. Perhaps, your destination is clear in your
mind, but you do not know how to get there?

If you want to create long-term happiness in your work-life, it is necessary to have a specific
and well-defined idea in your mind about your future direction. In other words, you
should feel certain about the type of job-role, situation, people and environment that would
make up your ideal work-life. In this chapter, you will find out exactly what these are.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

16
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? Where am I going?

So far, you have gauged your level of happiness and perhaps, identified some issues that
make you unhappy. Before we do any further analysis on your work-life or try to figure
out how to make the changes you need, it is important to take a step back and uncover
your deeper needs and wants. This means to identify your inner desires that may not have
been expressed before or clouded by the expectation of others or even, never considered a
real possibility. This is an essential stage which will help you understand exactly what kind
of future direction will fulfil you.

Every step you take from here onward will become part of your unique journey towards
finding your true-life path. Do not rush or skip this process but take your time with all of
the upcoming exercises. Allow the ideas, thoughts and feelings to occur but try not to
force them. You may also find that you sense a slight shift or change inside yourself. This
is completely natural. So, simply try to appreciate and observe yourself as you go through
these changes, knowing that this is all beneficial for you.

3.1 IMAGINATIVE THINKING

The next exercise is a vital step towards creating the future that your heart and mind truly
want. It is a visualization technique which I have designed for the particular purpose of
discovering your unique work-life and career desires.

If you are new to visualization, this is a simple mental exercise that requires you to close
your eyes, then use your imagination and creative thinking. You will be guided step-by-step,
to relax and think about specific things, which could either be imaginary or from memory.
Your mind will create images which you may see, hear, feel or even taste and smell using
your inner sensory perceptions2. This part of our brain is more active when the body is
relaxed hence, the exercise will help you to calm your mind and relax your body first.

If you are concerned because you consider yourself to not be a creative or imaginative
person, don’t worry. During the exercise you may feel that you are simply making it all up
as you did when you were a child. It may feel like you are just pretending, playing or day
dreaming. This is exactly what your imagination does when being creative so be assured
that this is totally okay.

We all have a creative brain but for many people, it has simply been lying dormant because
it is out of practice. You can easily re-awaken your creative brain in the same way as you
would stretch your physical body after a long, deep sleep. Just try this short fun exercise:

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

17
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? Where am I going?

a. Think of your favourite animal.

b. Bring to mind the colour and shape of the animal.
c. Now, imagine the animal changing colour…to a completely different colour such
as fluorescent orange.
d. And now, see it changing again to bright blue.
e. Now add yellow stripes.
f. And finally, let it return to normal.

This is your creative imagination at work! With a little practice, you can reawaken that
sleepy ‘brain muscle’ and get your imagination running again. For the next exercise, if it
is your first time, simply allow yourself to let go and decide to just have an experience
without worrying whether you are doing it right or wrong. Ensure that you do this exercise
fully and only once at this stage.

The aim of Step 1 in the exercise is to get your mind and body to relax. If you prefer,
you can listen to other guided meditations first, to help you quieten your mind and let
go. I have provided a link in the References where you can choose from a number of
different meditations2.

Toolbox

Exercise 3.1: Future Vision

Give yourself at least an hour to do this exercise, at a time and place where you are alone
and undisturbed so that you can fully concentrate and relax. I recommend that you first,
read the exercise out loud into a voice recorder such as an app on your mobile phone.
Read it slowly, clearly and pause between each point. Then, listen to your recording using
earphones and follow the instructions:

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

18
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? Where am I going?

STEP 1

a. Get comfortable and sit on a sofa or lie down in a comfortable position. Make
sure your legs and arms are not crossed, take off any shoes and glasses. If
sitting, make sure your head and back are supported.
b. Relax and take three deep breaths, filling up your lungs and letting it out
slowly. As you breathe, let go of all other thoughts or concerns. Imagine all your
thoughts shrinking, leaving your mind and disappearing. Bring your attention
to each part of your body and feel the muscles release and relax; start with
your toes, then feet, then ankles, etc. Gradually, move up your body, going all
the way up to the top of your head and allowing each part of your body to
let go all tension. Your body is now completely relaxed.
c. Imagine being outdoors in a nice, peaceful place that you enjoy. It can be in
the woods, fields, mountains, lakeside or along the beach. Imagine yourself
taking an easy, enjoyable walk on a beautiful day, when the weather is perfect.
You feel very calm and relaxed. Take in all the sights, sounds and smells that
surround you.
d. Now imagine that a magical escalator appears in front of you and it reaches
up into the sky. You calmly walk up and step on to it. It starts to gently move
upwards. Slowly count from 10 to 1 and with each number you move higher
and higher, and become more and more relaxed. Feel yourself becoming lighter
as you leave the land behind along with all your cares and concerns. You are
now moving up and above the clouds, entering a different world and into a
beautiful, dreamlike space. Your mind is now deeply relaxed.

STEP 2

e. As you reach the top of the escalator, you see a door and step through it. On
the other side is a fantastic room and it is your very own special and private
space. You feel peaceful, comfortable and you can create anything you want
in here. Go ahead and imagine whatever you want inside your room such as
nice furniture, a window, soft music, something beautiful or even a garden.
Now, see a big comfy sofa in front of you and sit down on it. Next to your
seat, you notice a control panel.
f. You pick up the control panel and press a button to switch on a huge TV that
appears in front of you. It is not an ordinary TV but one made with clever
3D futuristic technology. It has a super computer which can answer all your
questions and also, an inbuilt time machine.
g. Now, think of a year in your future (20…). It could be 5, 10 or 15 years ahead.
Take whatever year comes to mind first and type the number into your control
panel. As you do so, a full-size 3D door appears on the screen with that year
written on it. You get up, walk towards the TV screen and then, step through
the door.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

19
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? Where am I going?

h. On the other side of the door is the year (20…) You are now in the future. You
have stepped into your own, comfortable home and you feel calm, safe and in
control. Look around and take in all that you see and feel. Now, imagine you
are getting ready for work. Notice what you are wearing and doing. You are
confident, happy and feeling eager to go to work.
i. Next, imagine you are travelling to work and feeling positive. Feel yourself
enjoying the journey. Then, imagine arriving at your work place. It is a place
where you feel very much ‘at home’. Notice the surroundings, people, activities
and all that is going on. Go to your work station and take in everything you see,
hear, touch or smell in your environment. It feels very good, very comfortable
to be here.
j. You now start to do your work. See and feel yourself doing your work. It is
something you really enjoy, it feels comfortable and natural for you. Notice
the tasks, duties or projects you are involved in. See yourself using your skills
and taking actions with ease and confidence. Perhaps, you interact with other
people. This is a good place to work and it suits you perfectly. Your work is
valuable and you know you are appreciated because you receive good feedback.
k. Then, fast forward to the end of work. You are finishing off your tasks, closing
down and getting ready to leave. You have had a worthwhile day and feel very
pleased with all that you have done.
l. You leave the work place and travel home with a deep sense of contentment
and satisfaction. Imagine feeling very thankful. You are doing the work you
love, earning enough money and also being able to enjoy plenty of free time.
Arrive back home with this feeling of gratitude.
m. Finally, it is time to leave. Wrap the image of your wonderful work-life in a
bright positive light and imagine it like a snapshot photo. Say to yourself, “I
am so grateful to have this good job which fits me perfectly”.

STEP 3

n. Finally, leave the scene, let it go, turn back and return through your TV screen
door. Come back to the present and into your room. Then, leave the room and
go back through the door that you first came in. You are now on the escalator
going down. Return slowly, counting yourself back from 1 to 10. With each
descending number become more aware of your physical body and begin to
feel more awake.
o. Take your time as you come back down to ground level. Imagine walking back
along the same path that you came. Then, return to the here and now, feeling
fully refreshed. When you are ready, take a deep breath, have a stretch and
open your eyes.

Stay in your comfortable position for a few moments to take in your experience and recollect
your thoughts. Then, in your notebook, write down everything you saw, felt and imagined
in Step 2 of the visualization. Do this immediately, while it is still fresh in your memory and
before you speak to anyone else.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

20
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? Where am I going?

When you have finished writing put aside your notes and give yourself a break for at least
a day. Do not tell everyone about this experience! If you must share it do so with only one
or two others whom you completely trust to fully support you.

Over the next few days, you may get further insights, notions or wake up in the night
with ideas. Make a note of anything that comes to mind but try not to judge, rationalize
or analyze your thoughts, yet.

Another method you could also try is to have a dream about the future. Simply tell yourself
before you fall asleep, “I wish to have a dream that tells me about my future work-life.” Be
sure to keep your notebook beside your bed. You may be pleasantly surprised!

3.2 VISUALIZATION AND YOUR BRAIN

During the visualization you might have seen images of things other than your work-life.
It is quite normal for your subconscious mind to hold these different desires and you may
have got impressions of your future family, life partner, a different home, places or events.
On the other hand, you could have seen something that made no sense or seemed rather
out of place. Whatever you experienced, simply make a note of it, even if it seems irrelevant
or nonsensical at this stage. Eventually, you will gain a better understanding.

If you were lucky enough to have seen a clear image of your future job-role, company or
work situation, then you already have a head start. If you didn’t see anything at all, don’t
worry, that is also okay because you have now set the mental wheels in motion for taking
you in the right direction. This type of visualization exercise is more powerful than you
might initially think. When you imagine your future in this relaxed state, a number of
things begin to happen:

ØØ If you are new to this kind of visualization, it may have felt silly, weird or perhaps,
not really being ‘imaginative’ at all. If so, you were doing nothing wrong. This
exercise opens up the creative part of your brain and allows ideas to start to flow,
which you are probably not used to.
ØØ Now that you have imagined a specific picture of feeling happy in your future
work-life, even if you did not see any clear images, your subconscious mind will
move away from things that make you unhappy and move towards that which
makes you happy.
ØØ You may have been surprised by seeing unexpected things about yourself, your
home or workplace. This is because when you are deeply relaxed, you can access

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

21
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? Where am I going?

your subconscious brain more easily. It is here, in this part of your mind where
any hidden needs and desires are stored and it also knows the best route for you
to take. Unfortunately, this self-knowledge is quite often kept locked-up in the
depths of our psyche and hardly ever expressed because of either our own limited
expectations, rational thinking processes or social and cultural norms.
ØØ You have also set in motion a function of your brain known as the ‘Reticular
Activating System’ (RAS) which is now attuned to your newly imagined future
goal3. This is responsible for filtering out all unnecessary information which you
don’t need to pay conscious attention to. Now, your mind will start to recognize
new possibilities and opportunities that it might have otherwise not noticed.
Ideas will begin to emerge without you even trying!
ØØ After doing this visualization, many clients report that they feel much more confident
because they can actually see and feel themselves in their future work-life. They
begin to realize that doing the work they love is not as improbable as they first
thought. The dream becomes much more realistic and achievable.

3.3 THE PURPOSE OF A LIFE PATH

Most people just want to get on with their jobs, without too much stress, and have enough
money in order to be happy. So, why bother with going to all the trouble of finding your
life path/purpose? The simple answer is that happiness lies in self-knowledge. The more
you know about yourself, what you want and where you are going, the happier you will
feel inside.

What I have found through working with hundreds of people, is that those who are unhappy,
usually don’t know how to change things and make their lives better. Most of my clients
come to me for coaching because they feel lost, confused, tired of the ‘hamster wheel’ or
just feel stuck. Often, they are unsure about their future and their main concern is always
the same, “I don’t know what I really want from life”.

Whether you call it a life path, life purpose, destiny, fate, true North, career destination or
even, ‘a reason for being’, is not really important. The fact is that people who know what it
is, are often much less anxious when things go off-track, tend to make better life decisions,
have higher self-esteem and are more likely to reach their goals and a long-term state of
happiness and fulfilment in life.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

22
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? Where am I going?

According to psychological theory, you become a self-actualized person when your

motivational needs are met, you can achieve goals and reach your personal potential in life4.
In other words, this means you gain a sense of accomplishment, feel competent, valued
and can continue to grow. Having these ingredients at work will bring you towards a more
contented and meaningful life.

Many people have the notion that a life purpose must be some kind of lofty ideal which
should sacrifice any personal desires and be for the greater good of humanity. Some think
that it is only the territory of those who are highly ambitious and so, they fail to see the
obvious, which may be standing right in front of them. It does not matter whether your
purpose is to become an inspiring teacher, run a farm, clean offices or be a home-maker,
as long as it is something that most fulfils you and brings peace to your mind and heart.
Your destiny does not have to be something that changes the world but an occupation that
brings happiness, wholeness and richness to your own world.

Another common dilemma that people tend to get confused with, is the difference between
purpose and passion. Perhaps, you already know your life purpose but wonder why your
passions don’t fit into it. Let’s say, your passion is fishing but your purpose is being a good
doctor because you love to help sick people get well. Or you may be passionate about
dancing and music whilst your purpose is flying airplanes.

So, what is the difference between passion and purpose? For most people, passion is an
activity that gives much pleasure, energizes you and lifts your spirit. You may have many
passions which you love but it does not necessarily mean you are hungry to do them as
your main career or occupation in life. For instance, I have a friend who has a passion for
hiking in the mountains but her career choice is to help resettle immigrant people because
she finds this work most fulfilling and that gives her life meaning.

You may be one of the lucky ones who finds that your passions and purpose are all rolled
into one and can follow that calling for the rest of your life. Most people select one, all-
important passion which becomes their life purpose. It is this work that they cannot live
without doing and are compelled to pursue. Usually, your life path is the work you are
good at, that comes most naturally, you could even do in your spare time and which
gives you greatest satisfaction.

On the other hand, there are a few people who simply cannot follow one profession. This
is quite unusual but if you are now feeling that working in one particular occupation for
your entire life is not for you, then you may be a multi-directional person and have many
paths in life5. If so, just know that it is perfectly okay to be multi-talented! Finding your

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

23
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? Where am I going?

life purpose is about following that which gives you greatest joy and suits you best at this
present time in your life. Of course, we all change as we get older and so too, can your career.

The next tool will help you to understand your particular passion for your future work-life
better. Again, it is best to do this exercise when you are alone, undisturbed, can relax and
hear your own thoughts.

Toolbox

Exercise 3.2: Work-Life Direction Questions

Take a deep breath and relax. In your notebook, write down your answers to these questions
as spontaneously as possible:

1. What did you want to do when you were a child?

2. What do you enjoy doing as a hobby/pastime?
3. What are you good at doing? What skills do you enjoy using most?
4. Think about all the job-roles you have had so far. What task/part did you enjoy
doing most?
5. If you didn’t need to make money, what work would you LOVE to do?
6. If you knew you would not fail, what kind of job would you do?
7. If it really didn’t matter what others think/say, what kind of work would you do?
8. What type of people/company/environment would make you happy?
9. What kind of people would benefit from your work? How would it make a
difference in their lives?
10. Why would this work be important to you? How would it affect your life?

Write down the perfect job title for you. It does not have to exist and can be imaginary.

Perhaps, all of the above questions will not be relevant to you. However, your overall
responses should lead towards a better understanding of the kind of job you really want
and why this work is important to you.

From the last two exercises, you may begin to notice a common theme emerging from your
notes. These tools are designed to reach into your subconscious mind and pull out your
deep desires or a long-forgotten dream. This could be something that has only just become
apparent or a secret hankering which you have always been aware of but never allowed to
out to play.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

24
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? Where am I going?

Many people go through their entire working lives never acknowledging their innermost needs
or wants and eventually, they reach retirement with feelings of regret. At worst, ignoring
your life path can lead to anxiety, depression or proneness to ill health. If you do not listen
to your heart’s longings and go against your natural direction, you will inevitably feel
miserable and lose the motivation/confidence to change your current unhappy work-life
situation. Therefore, it is imperative to understand yourself and your purpose in life, no
matter what stage of career you are currently in. Once you are aware of this, you can begin
to move towards the work-life you truly want and consciously create your future direction.

How will people travel in the future, and

how will goods be transported? What re-
sources will we use, and how many will
we need? The passenger and freight traf-
fic sector is developing rapidly, and we
provide the impetus for innovation and
movement. We develop components and
systems for internal combustion engines
that operate more cleanly and more ef-
ficiently than ever before. We are also
pushing forward technologies that are
bringing hybrid vehicles and alternative
drives into a new dimension – for private,
corporate, and public use. The challeng-
es are great. We deliver the solutions and
offer challenging jobs.

www.schaeffler.com/careers

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

Click on the ad to read more
25
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? What should I change?

4 WHAT SHOULD I CHANGE?

“Life will bring you pain all by itself. Your responsibility is to create joy.”

– Milton Erickson

Let’s return to that nagging feeling, which I mentioned before, in Chapter 2 and try to
unravel why you feel this sense of unease at work. Whether it is obvious or not, every
individual always has a specific reason for being unhappy. Do you usually feel de-motivated,
tired or not valued? Are you always overworked? Do you think your skills are under used?
The first step to finding a happier work-life direction is to identify what is making you
unhappy and needs to change.

4.1 RECOGNIZING THE REASONS

In my experience, every client has their own individual reasons and unique situations
which cause their unhappiness. Usually, there is more than one contributing factor which
can sometimes confuse the issue of what actually needs to change. To help you understand
your specific situation, we will first identify the things that you don’t want or like in your
current job using the following exercise:

Toolbox

Exercise 4.1: Causes of Unhappiness

This questionnaire lists the different reasons for being unhappy at work. It is not an exhaus-
tive list but shows many of the causes which people commonly experience in the work place.

1. Read the statements and tick/mark the ones that apply to you in the Agree
column. Some of the statements have more than one issue which you should
mark as agree even if only one is relevant to you. Ignore the last column en-
titled ‘Cat’ for now.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

26
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? What should I change?

Unhappy Reasons Agree Cat

I don’t like the location/town/city/environment I work in. S
I don’t like the boss/manager/department head/team leader. P
I don’t fit in. I am odd/different to others. I do things differently to
M
everyone else.
I am unhappy with the systems/processes/administration. S
The team do not involve me or listen to me. I feel unheard/ignored/
P
unaccepted.
I am overworked /over loaded /doing more than one person’s job. M
The company does not respect or pay attention to people’s needs/input/
S
ideas.
I don’t get feedback. My work doesn’t matter. I feel unappreciated/
P
undervalued.
I am not motivated. The work bores me. I count the minutes to going home. M
My journey/commute to work is stressful/tiring. I can never find parking space. S
My boss/colleagues treat me as if I am useless/unnecessary/incompetent. P
It’s just a pay check. The job is not important. It is not ‘me’/not my life’s
M
purpose.
I am under paid. The salary is not enough for the work I do. S
I don’t like the other staff/co-workers/partners/associates/suppliers. P
I don’t like the constant stress/being under pressure/performance
M
demands.
The company culture does not fit my thinking/beliefs/attitude. S
It annoys me that other people do not care about quality/take pride in
P
their work.
My job role is below my level of competence. My skills are under used. M
I don’t like the systems/management/the hierarchy/ rules/methods. S
I don’t like the people I serve. e.g. clients/customers/passengers/patients/
P
students
I feel stuck/resigned. I have lost hope. Nothing will change no matter
M
what I do.
I don’t believe in their ethics/principles/values. S
I feel taken advantage of. Other people harass/bully me. P

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

27
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? What should I change?

Unhappy Reasons Agree Cat

I never have enough time to do all my work. I don’t like the long hours. M
I don’t like the physical working conditions/ work space/equipment. S
The people are miserable. The staff morale is low. Everyone is de-motivated. P
I am bad at my job. I always get things wrong. Others are better than me. M

Figure 1: Unhappy Reasons Questionnaire

2. Write down any other issues that are not mentioned in the questionnaire and
are relevant to the cause of your unhappiness.
3. Go through the questionnaire again and notice any trends or commonalities in
the statements that you marked agree.
4. The statements fall into three categories: P, S and M which are indicated in
the last column entitled Cat. Count up the ones you marked to see how many
fall into each of these three categories:
• P indicates other People at work. If you marked P’s, you are unhappy with
some of the people you work with. This could be your boss, co-workers,
managers, associates, customers, students, residents or other people at work.
• S indicates Situations set by the company which are making you unhappy.
This could be the way the company is run, products/services, management,
systems and processes, regulations, your physical work environment, lack of
pay or work schedules.
• M indicates My job which includes all aspects of your role; your duties, tasks,
responsibilities and projects. The issues could be feeling unhappy because of
the amount of work, never achieving much or always being under pressure.
Or perhaps, you just don’t like the work itself.
5. Now, take a whole page in your notebook and draw a vertical line down the
middle so that you have two big columns. In the left column, make a list of
all the issues that you marked in the above questionnaire. Add any further
concerns or worries which you now recognize.
6. Consider each of the issues on your list and ask yourself:
a. Do I have any influence over this issue?
b. What can I do to change or improve this situation?
In the column on the right, next to each issue write down any actions you can take to
change things or make it better. If you cannot think of any possible action, write ‘none.’

For example, if you are unhappy with a colleague or boss, the action you might want
to take is to arrange a meeting with that person and openly discuss the problems.
Or, if your workload is too much, the action could take is to request your co-workers
to give you some undisturbed time so that you can concentrate.

3. Finally, give a rating from 1–10 on the level of importance or priority, to each
issue on the list.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

28
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? What should I change?

You will probably find that the issues which are most difficult to influence or change
usually fall under People or Situations. In most organizations, it is usually easier to affect
or change things that fall under My Job and that are within your own area of influence
or responsibility.

If you can manage it, go ahead and implement the changes you have now identified. Then,
you can reassess whether you are still unhappy with the situation. However, if the changes
you have identified are much more complex or difficult to handle, please wait a little while
longer. I will help you in planning and taking action with my next, upcoming books. (See
Chapter six for more details.)

Although we don’t like to admit it, the things that often needs to change reside within
ourselves. One of my clients was complaining that she always felt very tired and stressed
because of too much work. When I probed further, she admitted it was because of her co-
worker who always dumped the unwanted tasks on her. We discussed each of their roles
and responsibilities and then, I asked her to consider, ‘what she could do to change this
situation?’ Then, she realized that she had allowed this situation to grow because she could
never say ‘no’ to her pushy colleague.

4.2 CHANGING FOR GOOD

Usually, when people identify exactly what is at the root of their unhappiness, they start
to find ways in which they can do something to improve the situation. Now that you have
recognized the specific reasons that are causing your unhappiness, you can consider the
possible changes you would like to see happen. The following tool will help you decide
exactly what you do and don’t want in your future work-life.

Toolbox

Exercise 4.2: What can I change?

Bearing in mind the things that make you unhappy in your current job, consider the following
statements/questions and answer Yes or No as spontaneously as possible.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

29
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? What should I change?

1. It is possible to change the things that make me unhappy.

2. I accept the causes of my unhappiness and do not want anything to change.
3. I have control over the things that make me unhappy.
4. Do I have a hand in creating the problem or difficult situation?
5. Are there things that I can do to improve the issues?
6. I can see myself continuing with this situation for the rest of my employed life.
7. Do I want to stay with this company/organisation for the present time?
8. Do I enjoy my job-role most of the time?

• If you answered mostly NO, most likely you cannot change the causes of
your unhappiness. In this case, it may be time for you to consider a different
job, a change of position or other work opportunities.
• If you answered mostly YES then you probably want to try and change the
things that cause you unhappiness but stay in your current job.
• If you answered Yes and No equally, then you should carefully assess the
particular issues, consider all the possible options and try to take whatever
action you can. If, after trying to do all that you can, things still do not
improve, then do this exercise again. Your answers will probably be different.

The above two exercises should give you a better understanding of the actual causes of your
unhappiness and help to ascertain what needs to change in your work-life. It may be a small
shift, a different approach or a change in the way you do your work. These things are within
your own area of influence and responsibility, so probably, you can manage the changes.

On the other hand, you may have come to the conclusion that no matter what you try,
nothing will change in your current job. The cause of your unhappiness is something outside
of your control/authority and there is no possibility for you to have any influence over it.

So perhaps, you have decided to take a major step and change something big in your work-
life. Maybe now, you will ask for that well-deserved promotion, look for a new job or move
position to another site or department. You could even have decided to take a year out
to travel, try out other talents or work in an entirely different role. It could be that what
you really want is to completely overhaul your career and change direction, re-discover a
much-loved passion or possibly start a new business.

Whatever it is you want, now is the time to take a step back, reassess your present situation
and decide what needs to change for good. Once you have made a firm decision, then you
can step towards a better future direction and life path that will bring you genuine happiness.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

30
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? What is my future?

5 WHAT IS MY FUTURE?
“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own
heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

– Carl Jung

Well done, for completing all of the exercises so far! Your future direction should now begin
to feel clearer and the changes that you have decided upon will become more inviting.
I hope that by now, you are feeling happier as you become more attuned to this new
understanding of yourself and your true needs and desires. The next important step is
to assimilate all of this self-knowledge and create a distinct goal and vision for your life
path direction.

Have you heard about the ‘carrot and stick’ motivation theory? Many people are driven
by the carrot, which means they prefer to move forwards towards the things they want.
Whilst others are driven by the stick, which means they tend to move away from things
they do not want. There is no particular right or wrong way but simply a difference in
attitude. Hence, all of the previous exercises have allowed for both types of motivation and
to help you ascertain exactly what you don’t want from the past or present and what you
do want in the future.

Now that you have had a chance to absorb your findings, you will no doubt, be thinking
about what to do next and how to make the changes. You are probably worried because you
still have no idea of how to make your desire a reality. Let me reassure you that your life
path steps will soon begin to naturally unfold as you become more attuned to your goal.

At this stage, it is best to put those worries aside for just a little while as they may cloud
your thought processes during the next few exercises. Right now, you are still at the creative
thinking stage and need to allow yourself imaginative freedom. You will eventually find the
best ‘how to’ later in the series and determine the exact steps you need to take.

In this book, all the tools are specifically designed and laid out so that you can first, uncover
your particular desires and then, clearly define your future direction. Only then will you
be completely confident and ready to step forward.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

31
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? What is my future?

5.1 SETTING MY COMPASS

As you start your journey towards creating your life path, it is necessary to be particularly
specific about the end result or outcome that you want to achieve. Unlike Alice, we will
start with setting an intention for your future work-life direction so that you don’t just end
up ‘somewhere’. The next tool is to ensure that you are very clear and have set your mind
on your specific route. It will also help you stay focussed and keep on track.

Toolbox

Exercise 5.1: Intention for the Future

The following statement summarizes your conclusions from all your findings so far. In your
notebook, copy and complete this statement by referring to your notes/answers from all
of the previous exercises in Chapters 2, 3 and 4.

My Future Direction

a. What I will no longer accept or want is



b. Instead, the change I want to see happen is



3. My new future direction will be


(Describe pertinent details of your desired job-role/work environment/situation, etc.)

4. When I have accomplished this goal I will feel happier and


(more motivated/ satisfied/confident/free, etc.).

Once you have written this statement, read it out loud. You will know you are on track
if it sounds and feels completely right. This is a glimpse into the kind of happiness you
can expect, and you may notice this feeling growing inside as you become more aligned
with your life path.

This statement is even more effective if you write a short version of it in big letters on a
plain piece of paper and put it up where only you will see it regularly. Be sure to include
points b, c and d. Most of my clients choose somewhere at home such as inside their
wardrobe, on the fridge, mirror or beside their bed.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

32
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? What is my future?

5.2 FUTURE IMPRESSIONS

Having defined your future direction, you can now begin to take the next steps in your
journey and create the future you truly want. The following two exercises are excellent
tools which will help you add more tangible and specific details to the route you have
now chosen. These will help you clarify and define the exact outcomes or goals you want
to achieve. When you have a realistic and precise impression of what your future will hold,
it will become easier for you to attain it.

Whilst doing the exercises, it is best to allow the creative processes to work so try not
to analyse your thoughts or rationalize your words but be as spontaneous as possible and
take whatever intuitively feels right. You will need to be able to relax and have quiet time
by yourself so that you can think without restriction. I would suggest doing the exercises
when you are unhurried, perhaps a morning at the weekend or later at night.

Toolbox

Exercise 5.2: A Future Letter

To get the best results, choose a time when you are alone, undisturbed and can think freely.
Again, you can read aloud the instructions into a voice recorder and then listen on earphones.
You will only need to record the directions a–e.

a. First relax your mind: If you wish, use Step 1 of the visualization technique
given in Chapter three, exercise 3.1: Take three deep breaths, relax your body
and then in your imagination, go to special room in the clouds. Take your time
and do this slowly.
b. Sit comfortably, let your body and mind relax. Close your eyes and imagine
stepping forward in time, many years ahead and much farther into the future.
You can use the door in the TV screen if you wish.
c. Now, see and feel yourself being very old but still healthy and well, both
physically and mentally. You are sitting in your favourite place, smiling and
looking out at a beautiful scene. You are feeling very content and happy with
your life.
d. Imagine you are thinking back on your life and feeling a great sense of
satisfaction and fulfilment with all that you have done. Remember your work,
the changes you made, the battles you overcame and how things turned out
so well. Remember all the people, your travels, important experiences and all
that you accomplished.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

33
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? What is my future?

e. Take your time and allow yourself to dwell on these good memories. Feel a deep
sense of pride, self-worth and gratefulness at having had such a wonderful life.
f. Now open your eyes and write a letter on a piece of blank paper, preferably
by hand. Address it to a real or imaginary old friend/colleague whom you have
not seen for a very long time. Write a date at the top as if you are writing
from your imagined time.
g. Your letter will tell him/her all about your life since you last saw each other.
Write as much details as you can and let your imagination flow but keep it
positive. You could include points such as:
-- things that changed for the better
-- your job, accomplishments, successes
-- good news or happy events
-- home or family life
-- dreams or goals achieved
-- things you are grateful and glad for
h. If you need, refer to your notes from all of the previous exercises.
i. As you write the letter, you should continue to feel positive and happy. Here
is an example of how to start the letter:
Dear Old Friend,
I know it has been a long time since we last met but you won’t believe what happened!
My life just kept getting better and better. I moved away from…and started my own
business doing….

j. When you have finished the letter, sign it and on the back, write today’s actual
date.
k. Then, put it in an envelope, seal it and write this on the front: My Future Life,
by…(your name) Do not open until…(date). Use any date in the distant future.
It should be at a time when you will have finished all your work-life goals, e.g.
after you retire.
l. Finally, hide the envelope somewhere safe and forget about it.

As you can guess, this letter is not for an old friend and you will never post it to anyone.
The instruction on the front of the envelope is for yourself and only you should open it.
No doubt, by the time you open it you will have long forgotten reading this book but just
in case, you might want to share your story with me, include my contact name/details on
the back of the letter. For sure, I would be utterly delighted to hear from you!

At this stage, you might be wondering, “what is the point of this exercise? How is it going
to help me if I am supposed to forget about it?” This is a psychological tool that functions
in a number of ways. It provides another powerful mental exercise which brings into focus
the most important things that you want to have happen, not just in the near future
but during the rest of your life. As you write it, the events and situations become more

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

34
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? What is my future?

plausible and your doubts decrease. Thus, your confidence increases so that you can easily
take the necessary actions.

When you write this spontaneously, from a relaxed state of mind you automatically allow
your subconscious needs and wants to surface. As previously mentioned, imagining your
particular desires in your mind activates your RAS system3 and this time, you have added
more detailed information about your specific future direction.

Also, the letter is written in the past tense which will help your subconscious mind to think
about it as a believable reality. Finally, by hiding and forgetting the letter, it allows your
conscious mind to switch off and stop trying to logically figure everything out, so that your
unconscious mind can work on it creatively.

5.3 SEEING IS BELIEVING

The second important tool to help you create the future you truly want is a Vision Board6.
Whether it is your work-life, a new home or some other personal change, it is necessary to
envision the goal you want before you start taking action and changing your life.

The Wake
the only emission we want to leave behind

.QYURGGF'PIKPGU/GFKWOURGGF'PIKPGU6WTDQEJCTIGTU2TQRGNNGTU2TQRWNUKQP2CEMCIGU2TKOG5GTX

6JGFGUKIPQHGEQHTKGPFN[OCTKPGRQYGTCPFRTQRWNUKQPUQNWVKQPUKUETWEKCNHQT/#0&KGUGN6WTDQ
2QYGTEQORGVGPEKGUCTGQHHGTGFYKVJVJGYQTNFoUNCTIGUVGPIKPGRTQITCOOGsJCXKPIQWVRWVUURCPPKPI
HTQOVQM9RGTGPIKPG)GVWRHTQPV
(KPFQWVOQTGCVYYYOCPFKGUGNVWTDQEQO

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

Click on the ad to read more
35
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? What is my future?

What is a vision board? It is simply a collage or collection of images which helps you
imagine your personal or professional goals. By selecting pictures and images that represent
the outcomes you want, you no longer have to imagine it all in your mind but can see
it physically, on paper in front of you. The vision board will help to keep you aligned to
your chosen life path by focusing your thoughts and future actions.

Now, you might be thinking, “how could that possibly work?” The idea that by putting
some pictures on a board you can attain your goals, well, that probably sounds like nonsense
or rather silly! However, research has shown that successful people such as athletes, actors,
entrepreneurs and chess champions, all use mental rehearsal and visualization techniques
to see themselves winning or achieving the results they want, long before the event.
Interestingly, they all tend to achieve most of their goals and it seems, with no more effort
than those who do not use the techniques.

Perhaps you have heard about vision boards or maybe, have already made one? Even if
you have, I recommend you do this next exercise because your intended future direction
statement will gain greater substance and depth. The more specific you are about what you
want, the higher the probability that it will happen. Your envisioned goal will also raise
your expectation levels and motivation.

No doubt, you will find countless websites with much advice about how to make a vision
board. Some of the suggestions make it seem quite an arduous and time-consuming task.
However, you do not need to spend a lot of time or any money on it. Here are some easy
directions to help you create the right vision board for you which perfectly aligns with all
your new self-knowledge. It should only take about one afternoon. Don’t forget to enjoy
making it and have fun!

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

36
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? What is my future?

Toolbox

Exercise 5.3: Creating a Vision Board

1. You will need: a pile of old magazines, plain paper, pens, scissors, sticky tape
and glue. You can flatten a large cardboard box, find an old framed picture
or use a cork pin board. It should be at least A2 paper size (420 × 594 mm)
or bigger.
2. Create a background by placing pieces of plain paper together. Stick them
together side-by-side to make a poster. Attach this background poster to the
board or frame.
3. In your notebook, make a list of 10–15 points that represent your intended
future direction, see exercise 5.1. You could use any words that signify the
work-life you desire such as your chosen job title, professional environment,
skills and abilities, people, pay, travel, projects or specific tasks you might do.
Also, add emotion words about how you will feel after you have achieved all
this. You can refer to any of the previous exercises regarding your future which
we have done so far.
4. From the magazines, find one image that represents each point and cut it out.
If you cannot find appropriate images, write a word or draw something on
paper that describes your point. Cut out all the words and images.
5. Arrange them on the background paper like a collage and stick them down.
Use glue that does not wrinkle paper.
6. Write today’s date on the back of the poster and sign it.
7. Hang the board in a place where you will see it regularly.
8. Every day, look at the images and say these words in your head, “I am so
grateful and happy that this is my life path.” And feel the emotions of already
having accomplished it.

Vision Board Tips:

ØØ Be specific and particular with details. Try not to generalize and always be positive.
ØØ It is much more effective to make a physical vision board made with real paper,
and not a virtual or electronic one on your computer.
ØØ Writing or drawing on paper by hand, helps to embed it into your subconscious mind.
ØØ Don’t stick the white paper background to the board with glue. Use sticky tape
or pins so that when you can eventually take it down, roll it up and put it away.
ØØ Use coloured pens and a variety of different magazines.
ØØ Keep your goals to yourself. Don’t tell everyone until you have achieved them.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

37
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? What is my future?

This tool works by using all of the same principles as the Future Letter tool in exercise 5.2.
Additionally, by creating the vision board with your own hands, you begin internalising
the images and your subconscious starts to believe you have already acquired this new
work-life. Then, as you look at the images regularly, your subliminal mind will bring your
attention towards the actions you need to take in order to achieve your goals. Also, you
will emotionally tune-in to this compelling new impression of a happier future and attract
the right situations into your life without even consciously trying!

Now that you have created the perfect vision of your future life path and can see it in
front of you, your belief will grow stronger and therefore, you are more likely to achieve it.
Having written down your intentions, detailed the eventual outcomes that you desire and
designed a picture of the future that you truly want, you are now ready to set the wheels
in motion for making it happen.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

38
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? Which way next?

6 WHICH WAY NEXT?

“Never underestimate the power you have to take your life in a new direction”

– Germany Kent

Congratulations! You have now laid down a good, strong foundation for your life path
which will propel you forwards in the right direction. Some people are so motivated at
this point, having done the exercises in Chapter five, that everything thereafter, just seems
to ‘automatically’ move into place and at a faster pace than they ever expected. Are you
feeling ready, too? Have your next steps become clear and obvious? If so, that is good news!
Go ahead, use this energy and start taking action towards the future of your dreams. Don’t
forget to first, make a plan or design a practical strategy and then, work steadily towards
achieving your goals.

6.1 ON THE RIGHT TRACK

On the other hand, you might still have a hundred questions and concerns floating around
your head about how and what to do next. For the moment, be assured that you are exactly
where you need to be right now. It could be that having identified your future direction,
created your vision board and done all the other exercises, you are still feeling unsure,
worried or a bit confused. Then, please understand that this is perfectly normal. In fact,
these feelings are somewhat necessary because this will give you the conviction and impetus
to take action and stride forward.

Most people on discovering their life path, react in a variety of ways such as being happily
surprised or delighted whilst others feel no surprise at all because it is something they have
always known. Some feel doubt, nervousness or are in complete disbelief. In case you are
feeling unsure about whether you have chosen the right life path for you, here is a tool to
find out if you are on the right track.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

39
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? Which way next?

Toolbox

Exercise 6.1: Right on Track

1. Close your eyes, put a hand on your heart and ask yourself these questions.
Your answers should be instantaneous.
• Am I being a 100% honest with myself about what I want?
• Are my worries stemming from what others think about me?
• Is my choice driven by desperation or genuine desire?
• Is my choice based on trying to make someone else happy?
• Am I ignoring the little voice inside me?
2. When you are on track your mind, heart and emotions should feel happier
and in synchrony. If you are on the right life path, you might notice any of
the following:
• That old, nagging question in the back of your mind has disappeared.
• You no longer ignore, avoid or excuse those issues that make you unhappy.
• You do not pretend to be happy or put on a brave face anymore.
• Your belly feels calm and relaxed inside instead of the tightness when things
are wrong.
• This new future seems to be pulling you even if your logical mind says
otherwise.
• Imagining the future in your mind, makes you automatically smile or get
excited.
• Your gut feeling or intuitive sense says that this future is right, not the
opposite.
• The more you think about it, the more it seems to fit ‘who’ you are.
• Your heart says that it sounds logical, is the most sensible or wisest choice.
• Thinking about it feels like ‘coming home’, more so than any previous role.
• Your inner voice says something like; “Go for it / I love it / This is good!”
• You make up arguments in your head to support your choice, in case someone
opposes you.
• You naturally tune in and notice things that relate to your new life path.
• Your past, present and future are all beginning to make sense.
3. When you say these words out loud, you actually feel it: “I am happy with my
life path direction.” This is a positive affirmation which you can now add to
your Future Direction statement, exercise 5.1.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

40
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? Which way next?

6.2 THE NEXT STEP

To help you along the way with your new future direction and confidently take action towards
your goals, I will be releasing several new books in the ‘Am I Happy…?’ series very soon.

In this book, ‘Am I Happy with My Direction?’, you have identified what makes you
unhappy and the specific issues that you want to change (see Chapter four, exercise 4.1).
These changes fall into three main categories for People, Situations and My Job-Role which
are the themes of the next three books. Depending on which area you wish to improve,
you can choose the appropriate next book to guide you:

ØØ Am I Happy with My Job? This book is for you if your decision is to get a new job
or change career. It provides alternative approaches to job searching; by discovering
your unique talents and work persona, then aligning it with your future direction.
ØØ Am I Happy with My Work Situation? If you have decided to stay in your current
position but change the way things are done, this book is for you. Learn how to
improve your present situation, make practical changes and recreate a much happier,
balanced work-life.
ØØ Am I Happy with Others? If the main problems you encounter at work are in
dealing with other people, then this book is for you. Learn more about human
psychology and work dynamics. Then use this know-how and improve interactions
to create lasting and healthier working relationships.

All of the books are focused on following your life path and will continue to build on your
chosen future direction. You will find appropriate psychological techniques, unique tools
and straight forward advice to help you through taking these next crucial steps.

Making such life changes is never a simple task and can be very daunting for most people.
Sometimes even the greatest motivation can falter, if you are faced with endless battles or
feel unsupported by your loved ones. Hence, these books are designed to help you stay on
track, grow your inner strength and provide practical methods that will help you attain the
work-life you really want.

6.3 ALIGNING YOUR COMPASS

We all have dreams, desires, needs and wants but often the road to receiving all that we
truly desire is shrouded in fog. Some people think they know what they want and are highly
driven towards getting it. Others have much positive energy but are not sure of where they
are going. Of course, positive energy is necessary, but you don’t need to be super motivated

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

41
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? Which way next?

or highly driven. I have found that sheer will power or positive thinking alone is not
enough to create the things you truly want or get you on a happier life path.

In order to have a life of fulfilment and happiness, one that is perhaps uncommon, we need
to learn how to make it happen. In this book, I have attempted to give you the best of
my knowledge to help you lift that fog by using your greatest asset which is your mind.

It has focussed on helping you take that all important first step which is to change the way
you think. This is crucial in making your future direction a reality because life only brings
us those things we think about and believe in. You need to honestly believe that you deserve
good things, then bring your attention to and work on them. Not the other way around!

All of the exercises here are designed to help you find and firmly believe that your true-life
path is what you absolutely deserve! It is only when you start to feel it in your heart and
believe it in your mind that your dream future can begin to take shape.

The secret to finding a lifetime of happiness is quite simple: Once you understand that there
is a natural flow in doing the work you are meant to do, and that if you are in a place that
genuinely supports you, then you will feel a deeper sense of wholeness and meaningfulness
in your life.

When your knowledge, skills, history, personality and core values are all aligned with your
thoughts and actions, then your work-life functions in a harmonious way. This is when
you will know with certainty, that you are following your life path. In psychology, this is
called ‘congruence’, meaning your thoughts, beliefs, emotions, words and actions are all
coherently in-line and not contradicting each other7. For example, if your job demands
that you should do an activity that you particularly dislike and goes against your wishes,
then you are not being congruent. If you are working in such disharmony then, things
usually start to go wrong and your work-life goes off balance.

One of my favourite authors, Gary Zukav, explains it perfectly, “your job is to learn how to
sail in same direction as your mother ship. Your inner sense of meaning and purpose, is your
compass.”8. In other words, when you align your day-to-day activities with the needs of your
essential self or soul, then you will find your true direction and genuine fulfilment. Your life then
becomes more consistent because your head and heart are functioning together in harmony.

I truly hope that by now, you are feeling highly motivated and energized so that you can
stride forwards to make your new found future direction and life path become your reality.
As always, I wish you boundless happiness and may your joyful ripples spread far and wide
around you.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

42
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? Final words

7 FINAL WORDS

Acknowledgments
• This book is dedicated to my wonderful husband, who brings perfect balance to
my life path. Thank you for your endless support and love.
• I am ever grateful to my clients, friends and colleagues who have found their life
paths. You have not only given me the privilege of coaching you, but the scope to
share your stories with so many others.
• My most heartfelt gratitude to my publisher Bookboon and their ongoing support.

Please Note:
All of the tools provided in this book have been exclusively designed by the author for the
purpose of the individual’s personal development. Some of the tools are very powerful, life-
changing techniques which should be used with care and respect. Do not try to use these
tools for any kind of malpractice or unfavourable activity. They are designed specifically to
function for positive and beneficial purposes only.

Want More?
If you would like to know more about any of the aspects in this book or hear more about
my unique personal development techniques, simply send me an email or message on
Facebook.

Now that you have read the book, perhaps you would like some individual help? If you would
like to know more about my online one-to-one life coaching and receive a no obligation,
free coaching session with me, please send me a short email.

I am currently developing an all new ‘Mind retreat’ course, soon to be launched and held
on the Canary Islands! It will include many of the Am I Happy techniques along with
various other life changing activities in a small group workshop setting. Just follow me on
Facebook, send a message or email me for more details.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

43
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? Final words

Also, there will soon be a competition to win a special coaching program for my Facebook
followers so please stay connected. I would love to hear your stories about finding your life
path. You can write to me with any stories, thoughts or questions you might have.

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

44
AM I HAPPY WITH MY DIRECTION? References

8 REFERENCES
1. Dr Martin Seligman; Positive Psychology
https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/authentic-happiness/
https://www.ted.com/talks/martin_seligman_on_the_state_of_psychology
2. Creative visualization and meditation videos
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creative_visualization
https://www.youtube.com/user/TheHonestGuys/videos
3. Reticular Activating System (RAS)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ascending_reticular_activating_system
4. Self-Actualization: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html
5. Emilie Wapnick: Multipotentialities
https://www.ted.com/talks/emilie_wapnick_why_some_of_us_don_t_have_one_true_calling
6. Jack Canfield; Vision Boards
http://jackcanfield.com/blog/how-to-use-a-vision-board/
7. Congruency
http://study.com/academy/lesson/incongruence-in-psychology-definition-lesson-quiz.html
https://www.simplypsychology.org/carl-rogers.html
8. Gary Zukav; The mother ship
http://www.spiritualcoach.com/mind-and-spirit/gary-zukav-and-oprah-authentic-
power-6924/

Download free eBooks at bookboon.com

45