Story of Amanda Taylor

I’m a mixed chick born and raised in Gainesville, Florida. No one ever thought I’d be anything, no one
graduated high school in my family. My mother worked at Taco Bell and my father fled the country on
criminal charges when I was three. I grew up in an abusive home with my two younger brothers. By 12th
grade, I had been raped, molested, abused, homeless, and hungry. I remember every detail of my
childhood very vividly, every man my mother brought to the house, everyone she left us for, and the one
who tried to drown my brother in the bathtub while she ran to the store. I remember living in a trailer
with no electricity, a tarp for a wall, and a piece of plywood where the floor was supposed to be. I
remember moving every single year from one project to another. I remember seeing so much violence
as a child that I became desensitized to it. It was just a part of life. I remember being homeless, walking
miles as a child, bus after bus with my brothers, just to get to the free food lines. I remember waiting in
the food stamp line for what seemed like forever just so my mother could hand us all a brown food
stamp dollar to spend at the ice cream truck. I remember sneaking out of my window at night just so I
could sleep in a quiet place, so I wouldn’t be tired the next day at school. I don’t know what it means to
be broken or weak because growing up, survival meant I had to be strong and vigilant. They told me to
drop out of school when I was 15 to learn a trade, but I didn’t. I was the first person in my family to
graduate high school. Until I was accepted into the University of Florida, the teachers, the career
counselor, and my mother told me that I wouldn’t. They said I couldn’t be a doctor, so I said, “watch
me!” I feel at home in the struggle, it motivates me like nothing else. From the mud, I was formed and
out of the mud, I grew. I lost my best friend in 2010, I’ve been divorced twice now at 32, and I am a
single parent with two toddler boys. My story isn’t sad, it’s real. This is real life! Nothing sugar-coated
about it just like me. I don’t need your validation. I’m not swayed by your opinion. I know who I am and
the value that I possess. Every struggle that I have endured I’ve strategically mapped out so that I can
share it with you. My father from Kingston and my mother from New York both grew up in poverty as I
did. So, what did I become? What I always was buried deep beneath the mud. A diamond, too tough to
break, too beautiful to ignore. Love — I became love — unconditional, unwavering, strong, and pure.

I’ve been through hell a time or two, but your hell doesn’t scare me. I am never blind. I know where I am
going, and I know why when it’s dark or when there’s light. At the top of the St. George Museum on the
14th of July, I looked over the skyline in Paris, France, that little mixed girl from the hood whom they
said would be nothing more. One thing I am is free because I love who I am and what I am meant to be.
Life isn’t always pretty, but if you keep going with purpose you will see more. I did graduate from UF,
learned French, saw Paris. I graduated with my master’s degree to help people cultivate hope when they
feel like giving up. I’ve faced eviction, I’ve had my things repossessed, I’ve been incarcerated without
just cause, I’ve been homeless with the anger and heartache of knowing I couldn’t provide basic
necessities for my children. Yet, I ask for nothing from no one because my faith is that God has a plan for
me and moves people as he sees. So even as my partner put his hands on me, lied to me, cheated on
me, stole from me, and tried every which way to sabotage me, I still made it. Three years into my Ph.D., I
stand here. I’ve learned a whole new career and became a mother times two. None of these are small
feats. So, what I want you to learn from who I am is how powerful it is to know who you are and what
you stand for regardless of anyone else. Whom do you want to be?

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become” - Carl Jung

1. Give descriptions about the personality of Amanda. (10pts.)

Amanda is a strong and persistent person. Despite of everything what happened to her life, she
still found light and hope within in it. She is also goal-oriented even though her teachers and family
discouraged her to go to the University where she had been accepted, she still managed to finish her
master's degree.

2. Which sentences in her story do you like best? Cite your reasons why you like them. (12pts.)

The sentences I liked the most in her story is “A diamond, too tough to break, too beautiful to
ignore. Love — I became love — unconditional, unwavering, strong, and pure.” I like them because if
you fight the negative things with love, things will get better soon. Like a rock, it won’t turn into a
diamond if we didn’t apply pressure to it just like life.

3. Enumerate at least 5 self-concepts that reflect Amanda’s personal characteristics and give the
sentence that best explain each self-concept. (15pts.)

a. Self-Esteem – “They told me to drop out of school when I was 15 to learn a trade, but I
didn’t.”

b. Ideal Self – “Three years into my Ph.D., I stand here. I’ve learned a whole new career and
became a mother times two.”

c. Self-Image – “I’m a mixed chick born and raised in Gainesville, Florida. No one ever thought I’d
be anything, no one graduated high school in my family.”

d. Social Identity – “. At the top of the St. George Museum on the 14th of July, I looked over the
skyline in Paris, France, that little mixed girl from the hood whom they said would be nothing
more.”

e. Family – “I grew up in an abusive home with my two younger brothers. By 12th grade, I had
been raped, molested, abused, homeless, and hungry.”

4. Identify at least 5 unpacking the self, happened with Amanda. Explain each. (10pts.)

The first thing I recognized with the story of Amanda is that she started it with whatfamily does
she have. She did not point anything bad against her parents for living in poverty at avery young age.
The next thing she accepted is the demotivation from her mother and teachersthat she should not go to
the University. However, instead of using it as something demotivating,she used it as a motivation to still
go through and prove to them that they are wrong. Lastly, she always accepted that God has a better
plan for her after all the heartaches and anger she had beenthrough.

5. What characteristics do you think Amanda made when she set her free from her own pain? (10pts.)

It was very kind of her to forgive everyone who brought her pain, no one deserves to become
raped, abused, and be homeless as a child nor does one deserves to be betrayed and stolen by her own
husband. However, she managed to free herself from the pain. This act is not a benefit for her
perpetrators but a generousact for herself to accept that she can move forward freely and happily
without the grudges withinher heart.

6. What seems to be the life goal of Amanda? Explain your answer. (5pts.)

Her life goal is pass through all her challenges in life. Since she was born, Amanda exprecience
several problems that why she probably decided to make a change in her life. To do this, she finished
her degree to prove that even the little mixed girl living in Gainesville, Florida can achieve something.
She always wants to prove that someone who strives her way out of.

7. What do you believe to be the factors that enabled Amanda to achieve her goal? Explain your answer.
(10pts.)

The belittling of the people around her especially her mother drove her to work hard more in
order to achieve her goal to prove that she can do anything she wants to even though she already has a
lot of of burden on her back.

8. If you were Amanda, how would you see yourself surviving? Are there things Amanda has done which
you have also done?

If I were Amanda, I would took longer to heal my pain than she did because I don’t have a big
self-esteem like her. I usually just go with the flow of my life and not making an effort at all to do a
change.

9. Create a complete “Commitment Self-care Plan”, include also the where, when and who will be
involved in your plan to improve your health and well-being. ( 20pts.)

1. Physical Self Care

a. Start working out when I have a free time

b. Eat foods that are benificial to my body

c. Avoid habits that could potentially harm myself

2. Sexual Self Care

a. Inform myself about the consequences and effects of doing it

b. Learn what should I do once a situation like this happened

c. Consider my birth control options

3. Economic Self Care

a. Monitor my bank account

b. Track my money

c. Establish a realistic budget for things

4. Spiritual Self Care

b. Regulary go to the place of worship

c. Engage with our nature

5. Political Self Care

a. Be kind to people around you

b. Inform yourself about what’s happenning in our community

c. Be active in participation in activities that could help our community

6. Digital Self Care (Self Representation online)

a. Turn off useless notifications

b. Avoid engaging with online trolls

c. Control my screen time

7. Emotional Self Care

a. Get to know my own emotional triggers

b. Set my own boundaries

c. Protect my own energy when engaging with other people

8. Social Self Care

a. Develop friendships that are supportive.

b. Keep meeting with your parents' group or other social group.

c. Joining a support group