MODULE 1 distress Personal development modules

ultimate aim is greater self-knowledge that will

IDEAL SELF - is the self that you inspire to be.
lead to higher alignment between these two
One that you hope will possess characteristics
personality domains.
similar to that of a mentor or some other
worldly figure. PERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS:

ACTUAL SELF – is the one that you actually see. Personal effectiveness means making use of all
Built on self-knowledge. The self that the personal resources talents, skills, energy
characteristics that you were nurtured or, in and time, to enable you to achieve life goals.
some cases, born to have.
Your knowledge of yourself and how you
The actual self and ideal self are two broad manage yourself impacts directly on your
categories of self-concept. personal effectiveness Being self-aware, making
the most of your strengths, learning new skills
SEL-CONCEPT – refers to your awareness of
and techniques and behavioral flexibility are all
yourself. It is the construct that negotiates
keys to improving your personal performance.
these two selves.
Our personal effectiveness depends on our
SELF-KNOWLEDGE – derived from social
innate characteristics - talent and experience
interactions that provide insight into how
accumulated in the process of personal
others react to you.
development. Talents first are needed to be
The actual self can be seen by others, but identified and then developed to be used in a
because we have no way of truly knowing how particular subject area (science, literature,
others view us, the actual self is our SELF- sports, politics, etc.).
IMAGE.
Experience includes knowledge and skills that
IDEAL SELF- how we want to be. It is an we acquire in the process of cognitive and
idealized image that we developed over time, practical activities.
based on what we learn and experience.
Knowledge is required for setting goals, defining
There is negotiation that exists between the an action plan to achieve them and risk
two selves which is complex because there are assessment.
numerous exchanges between the ideal and
Skills also determine whether real actions are
actual self. These exchanges are exemplified in
performed in accordance with the plan if the
social roles that are adjusted and re-adjusted,
same ability is used many times in the same
and are derived from outcomes of social
situation, then it becomes a habit that runs
interactions from infant to adult development.
automatically, subconsciously. Here are some
Alignment is important. If the way that I am (the
skills that will greatly increase the efficiency of
actual self) is aligned with the way that I want
any person who owns them.
to be (the ideal self), then I will feel a sense of
mental well-being or peace of mind. If the way 1. Determination. It allows you to focus only on
that I am is not aligned with how I want to be, achieving a specific goal without being
the incongruence. or lack of alignment, will distracted by less important things or
result in mental distress or anxiety The greater spontaneous desires. It may be developed with
the level of incongruence between the ideal self the help of self-discipline exercise.
and real self, the greater the level of resulting
2. Self-confidence. It appears in the process of turn contributes to the emergence of new
personal development, as a result of getting ideas. These are just some, but the most
aware of yourself, your actions and their important personal effectiveness skills which
consequences Self- confidence is manifested in make the achievement of any goal easier and
speech, appearance, dressing, gait, and physical less costly.
condition. To develop it, you need to learn
BUILD ON YOUR STRENGTHS AND WORK ON
yourself and your capabilities, gain positive
YOUR WEAKNESSES:
attitude and believe that by performing night
actions and achieving right goals you will Most failures emanate from weaknesses that
certainly reach success. are not recognized or probably recognized but
not given appropriate attention or remedy. This
3. Persistence. It makes you keep moving
could be a weakness in communications,
forward regardless of emerging obstacles -
personality or ability. Instead of giving up or
problems, laziness, bad emotional state, etc. It
indulging in self-pity, take action. Go for speech
reduces the costs of overcoming obstacles It
lessons, get skills upgrading, attend personality
can also be developed with the help of self-
development sessions or whatever appropriate
discipline exercise.
remedies to your perceived weakness.
4. Managing stress. It helps combat stress that
Instead of simply focusing on your weaknesses,
arises in daily life from the environment and
recognize your own talents and abilities, build
other people Stress arises from the uncertainty
on them, utilize them to your greatest
in an unknown situation when a lack of
advantage. This is where you can build your
information creates the risk of negative
name and popularity. Handicapped people like
consequences of your actions. It increases
Jose Feliciano and other blind singers did not
efficiency in the actively changing environment
brood over their physical handicap. They
5. Problem-solving skills. They help cope with
recognized that they have a golden voice so
the problems encountered with a lack of
they search for ways to enrich that talent and
experience. It increases efficiency by adopting
now they have won international fame in the
new ways of achieving goals when obtaining a
field of music.
new experience.
YOU NEED TO TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR FUTURE:
6. Creativity allows you to find extraordinary
There are three kinds of people in this world:
ways to carry out a specific action that no one
has tried to use. It can lead to a decrease or an The first is the Moviegoer. This person watches
increase of costs, but usually the speed of the movie of their lives, admires some parts and
action is greatly increased when using creative criticizes others. Aside from that, they do
tools. nothing else. All she says the whole day is, "I
like this thing and but I don't like that thing."
7. Generating ideas. It helps you achieve goals
The Moviegoer feels she has absolutely no
using new, original, unconventional ideas. Idea
control of their lives except to comment about
is a mental image of an object formed by the
it. Moviegoers are the most pathetic, miserable
human mind, which can be changed before
people in the world.
being implemented in the real world. For
generating ideas you can use a method of The second is the Actor. This person does not
mental maps, which allows you to materialize, only watch the movie of her life. She actually
visualize and scrutinize all your ideas, which in realizes she's the Actor - and can control a big
part of her life. She can actually make or break aspects. This does not mean, however, that the
the movie - by how well she delivers her lines body is healthy or strong. The body provides a
and how she portrays her character. Actors are place to house the spirit (often experienced as
a happy bunch, realizing they're the start of the feelings) and the mind (often experienced as
show and enjoy some level of control. But many thought).
times, they wish the movie would end in
It may be important to some that their mind be
another way- but realize that they have no say
prominent and well educated. The mind is
in such things.
important, as it is the part of the self that
The third is the Scriptwriter. This person does directs the other two aspects. The mind learns
not only watch, and she doesn't only act, but what to do and communicates the information
she actually creates the entire movie from her to the body and the feelings. What the mind
mind. She determines what she will say, what believes, the body manifests or acts on, and the
she will do, and how the movie will end. She emotions feel, or respond with. People store
realizes she has enormous control over her life, both healthy and destructive thoughts and
and sees to it that the movie of her life will turn beliefs and responds to life's circumstances in
out beautiful. the most prominent manner. The mind provides
access creativity and serenity which are
MODULE 2
necessary for such processes as prayer,
ASPECTS OF THE SELF: forgiveness, acceptance, and passion.

The self-concept is represented by several The human emotions are the most feared
aspects of the self. It is conceived as collection aspect of the self, as individuals are reluctant
of multiple, context-dependent selves. This and unprepared to manage them. Managing
construct believes that context activates feelings is like trying to hold water in made
particular regions of self-knowledge and self- under emotional stress and strain usually
relevant feedback affects self-evaluations and impacts emotions negatively. Negative
affect. A deeper look on the different aspects of emotions that are not managed are stored and
self can identify specific areas for self- repressed. Repression is destructive to a
regulation, stability and improvement. content self since all feelings, not only negative
ones are stored away. Accessing feelings when
In a nutshell, an individual is composed of three they are needed now becomes difficult, leaving
basic but very different aspects of the self. They the individual numb and hopeless.
are the physical or tangible aspects as they
relate to the body, the intellectual and For instance, a girl realizes that she is giving
conscious aspects as they relate to the mind, much attention on the physical aspects and less
and the emotional and intuitive aspects as they attention on her intellectual self. In this way,
relate to the spirit. All three aspects of the self- she can discover how much money and time
work together in perfect harmony when spent maintaining her physique and its
attention is paid to all three simultaneously. consequences in her grades. By this honest
evaluation of herself, she can plan effective
Many individuals put a strong emphasis on the actions to improve her study habits. She can
physical aspect of the self. The body is tangible, start seeking for help and for related books to
obvious, and we respond to it easily. More time read or browse articles to help her improve her
and money is spent on enhancing the physical study habits.
component than either of the other two
DEVELOPMENTAL STAGES:

Human Development focuses on human

growth and changes across the lifespan,
including physical, cognitive, social, intellectual,
perceptual, personality and emotional growth.

The study of human developmental stages is

essential to understanding how humans learn,
mature and adapt. Throughout their lives,
humans go through various stages of
development.

The human being is either in a state of growth

or decline, but either condition imparts change.
Some aspects of our life change very little over
time, are consistent. Other aspects change
dramatically. By understanding these changes,
we can better respond and plan ahead
effectively.

MODULE 3
LIVING MINDFULLY:

Living mindfully is like being an artist: you need

the right tools to practice your craft, and you
need to constantly refine your technique to
achieve your creative potential. In the same
way, using the present moment tools below will
help you to hone a consistent mindfulness
practice that will in time lead to a more aware,
compassionate and fulfilling way of life.

Tool 1: Breathe Mindfully. Use your breath as

an anchor to still your mind and bring your
focus back to the present moment.

Tool 2: Listen Deeply. Listen with intention; let

others fully express themselves and focus on
understanding how they think and feel.

Tool 3: Cultivate Insight. See life as it is, allowing

each experience to be an opportunity for
learning.

Tool 4. Practice Compassion. Consider the

thoughts and feelings of others and let
tenderness, kindness and empathy be your  Seeks privacy and time alone.
guides.  Is concerned about physical and sexual
attractiveness.
Tool 5: Limit Reactivity. Observe rather than be
 May complain that parents prevent him
controlled by your emotions. Pause, breathe,
or her from doing things independently.
and choose a skillful response based on
 Starts to want both physical and
thoughtful speech-and non- violence under
emotional intimacy in relationships.
every condition.
 The experience of intimate partnerships
Tool 6: Express Gratitude Practice gratitude
daily and expand it outward, appreciating Social Development
everyone and everything you encounter.  shifts in relationship with parents from
Tool 7 Nurture Mutual Respect. Appreciate our dependency and subordination to one
common humanity and value different that reflects the adolescent's increasing
perspectives as well as your own. maturity and responsibilities in the
family and the community.
Tool 8: Build Integrity Cultivate constructive  Is more and more aware of social
values and consistently act from respect, behaviors of friends.
honesty and kindness.  Seeks friends that share the same
Tool 9: Foster Leadership Engage fully in life and beliefs, values, and interests.
in community. Share your unique talents and  Friends become more important.
generosity so that others can also be inspired.  Starts to have more intellectual
interests.
Tool 10: Be Peace. Cultivate your own inner  Explores romantic and sexual behaviors
peace, becoming an agent for compassionate with others.
action and social good.  May be influenced by peers to try risky
behaviors (alcohol, tobacco, sex).

MODULE 4 BEING HAPPY

THE PASSAGE TO ADULTHOOD: CHALLENGES OF You may have defects, be anxious and
LATE ADOLESCENCE sometimes live irritated, but do not forget that
your life is the greatest enterprise in the world.
Physical Development Only you can prevent it from going into
decadence. There are many that need you,
 Most girls have completed the physical
admire you and love you.
changes related to puberty by age 15.
 Boys are still maturing and gaining I would like to remind you that being
strength, muscle mass, and height and happy is not having a sky without storms, or
are completing the development of roads without accidents, or work without
sexual traits. fatigue, or relationships without
disappointments.
Emotional Development
Being happy is finding strength in
 May stress over school and test scores.
forgiveness, hope in one's battles,
 Is self-involved (may have high
expectations and low self-concept).
security at the stage of fear, love in garden full of opportunities for being
disagreements. happy...

Being happy is not only to In your spring-time, may you

treasure the smile, but that you also become a lover of joy. In your winter,
reflect on the sadness. It is not just may you become a friend of wisdom.
commemorating the event, but also And when you go wrong along the way,
learning lessons in failures. It is not just you start all over again. Thus you will be
having joy with the applause, but also more passionate about life. And you will
having joy in anonymity. find that happiness is not about having
a perfect life but about using tears to
Being happy is to recognize that
water tolerance, losses to refine
it is worthwhile to live, despite all the
patience, failures to carve serenity, pain
challenges, misunderstandings and
to lapidate pleasure, obstacles to open
times of crises.
the windows of intelligence.
Being happy is not inevitable
Never give up... Never give up
fate, but a victory for those who can
on the people you love. Never give up
travel towards it with your own being.
from being happy because life is an
Being happy is to stop being a incredible show. And you are a special
victim of problems but become an actor human being!
in history itself. It is not only to cross
MODULE 5
the deserts outside of ourselves, but
still more, to be able to find an oasis in STRESS MANAGEMENT:
the recesses of our soul. It is to thank
Dictionary definitions do not quite capture the
God every morning for the miracle of
meaning of stress as it is seen and experienced
life.
in the world of work. One of the Webster's
Being happy is not being afraid definitions describes it as an "...emotional
of one's feelings. It is to know how to factor that causes bodily or mental tension."
talk about ourselves. It is to bear with
A practical way of defining stress is the feeling
courage when hearing a "no". It is to
one gets from prolonged, pent-up emotions. If
have the security to receive criticism,
the emotions you experience are pleasant and
even if is unfair. It is to kiss the children,
desirable - joy. elation, ecstasy, delight you
pamper the parents, have poetic
usually feel free to let them show. They are not
moments with friends, even if they
suppressed.
have hurt us.
Therefore; positive emotions do not usually
Being happy means allowing
cause stress Negative emotions, on the other
the free, happy and simple child inside
hand, are more often held inside. They are
each of us to live, having the maturity
hidden. You suffer quietly and you experience
to say, "I was wrong", having the
stress. Do not confuse positive situations with
audacity to say. "forgive me". It is to
positive emotions. A wedding, for example, is a
have sensitivity in expressing, "I need
positive situation that often brings about the
you"; to have the ability of saying, "I
love you." So that your life becomes a
negative emotions of anxiety and tension. So selling, you may experience feelings of rejection
stress can exist in great situations. when most of your customers say "no."

Causes and Effects of Stress A series of stressful and frustrating

experiences throughout the day can cause you
Just as there is great variety in the
to lie awake at night in an emotional turmoil -
range of emotions you might experience, there
unable to get needed rest. You face the next
are many possible manifestations of stress-in
day with less emotional and physical stamina.
your private life and in your working life. Here
After another stressful day and another night
are some words that describe the emotions
without rest, you may have even less emotional
associated (as cause and effect) with stress.
strength and stability. Therefore, stress build-
 Anxiety up, if not resolved, continues day after day.
 Pressure Problems in our personal life can be
 Misery devastating
 Strain
 Desperation Surviving the normal, everyday stress
 Tension described above can be difficult. But far more
 Anger serious and painful circumstances can create
 Panic long-term stress. More serious stressful
 Dejection circumstances may include separation from
loved ones, personal illness, or illness of a loved
Prolonged stress can be devastating; burnout, one, death of someone you care about, or
breakdown, and depression are some of the conflict with a spouse or close friend. Other
potential results of long-term, unmanaged major causes of stress are problems with drug
stress. By wearing a mask, you may expect to and alcohol abuse, domestic violence, care of
hide stress caused by problems in your personal children and elderly relatives, chronic mental
life and not let them influence your illness, injury, physical handicaps, even moving
performance on the job. This will probably not to a new home, if you've lived in the same place
work. The more you try to hold your emotions for more than 10 years. The list goes on and on.
in, the greater the pressure build-up will be.
Managing your personal finances can
Everyday frustrations cause stress build-up be another stressful experience. This can be a
problem no matter what your income level, but
From the time you wake up until you go
it is especially difficult if you must support a
to sleep, you may be confronted with a
family and do not earn enough to live
succession of stressful situations. Managing to
comfortably. Unpaid bills, unwise use of credit,
get yourself (and possibly a spouse and
and budget limitations can make life difficult.
children) out of bed and ready to face the day
can be a challenge to your patience and A common cause of stress is dealing with life's
ingenuity. Driving to school or work can be transitions
harrowing - especially if you're running late. You
may experience frustration in arranging to get This is especially true when a person
the car repaired. You may face conflicts in must cope with too many transitions all at once.
school or at work, such as coping with For example, Ellen has just completed a
unrealistic deadlines, equipment failures, or program in fashion merchandising. She is eager
unexpected bad weather. If part of your job is to get started on her new job. Her mother is ill
and requires care. Her father died a few months back to its normal state via the relaxation
ago. Ellen's new job requires that she relocate response.
to a town 100 miles from home. The move, a
KEEP STRESS UNDER CONTROL:
new career, and a change in family relationships
may cause excessive stress for her Too many There are many effective ways to
changes have arrived at the same time. handle stress. Of course, you can't avoid
stress-in fact, you wouldn't want to avoid
STRESS RESPONSE
all stress, because you'd never grow.
Your stress response is the collection of However, you can manage your life so that
physiological changes that occur when you face you survive the emotional down times
a perceived threat-when you face situations without allowing stress to engulf you. Also,
where you feel the demands outweigh your you can work to eliminate controllable
resources to successfully cope. These situations stress factors, such as running late or not
are known as stressors. getting enough sleep. But when stress is
constant or too great, your wisest option is
When your stress response is triggered,
to find ways to reduce or control it. You
a series of changes occur within your body.
need not, and should not, live your life in
They include:
emotional stress and discomfort. Stress can
 Redirection of blood away from be successfully managed. Here are some
extremities and instead to major suggestions that may help.
organs.
Understand the Causes of Stress
 The release of cortisol and other
hormones, which bring other short- Understanding why you are under
and long-term changes. stress is important. This may seem obvious,
 The stress response is intended to give but it requires deliberate, conscious effort
you a burst of energy so you're able to to pause and simply ponder your situation.
fight off attackers or run away from By now, you are familiar with the stress
them effectively. response, the emotional or physical
symptoms of uncontrolled stress. Now you
This helped our ancestors, who faced need to try to discover the stressors, the
numerous physical threats, to stay safe. factors of which create the stress in your
However, now our threats tend to be less life.
physical and more associated with our way
of life-a challenge to our status, a demand Analyze your Stress Factors and Write
for performance, etc. In addition to giving Them Down
us a set of changes that may not match our
Write down your response to stress. For
needs as well (it might be more effective
example, you may write down, "I feel tired
for us to have a burst of mental clarity or
most of the time. My lower back seems to
wisdom than a burst of physical strength,
ache all through the day and night. I miss
for example), the stress response can
deadlines and run behind schedule."
actually cause harm if it leads to a state of
Analyze stress responses and
chronic stress-that is, if our stress response
consequences, and consider each item, and
is triggered, and then our body doesn't go
ask why. "Why am I feeling tired? Why
does my back ache? Why do I run behind
schedule? Carefully consider each answer,  Find a quiet place to read a
because the answers will reveal stressors, magazine or novel during break or
such as deadlines, anxieties, trying to do so at lunch.
much, managing time or money poorly, or  If possible, look at some peaceful
poor health habits. images such as forests, beaches,
etc. These images can initiate a
Deal with the Stressors
relaxation response.
Develop techniques to deal with the  Look up.
causes of stress. The longer you avoid  Keep something humorous on
dealing with the stress factors, the more hand, such as a book of jokes.
the stress will build up. If tension comes
because you have put off an unfinished
task, restructure your priorities so you can
get the task that you have been avoiding
out of the way and off your mind.

Learn to Work under Pressure or Unusual

Conditions

When you can't reduce the stressors,

you need to manage your stress response.
Almost everyone, at least at some point,
has to meet deadlines, keep several jobs
going at once, resolve problems that come
up, and do extra work when necessary.
However, when the pressure mounts, you
can relieve it. Relaxation is key-but most
people must train themselves to relax
when the pressure is on. Some tips to relax
when under pressure are the following:

 Stop for a moment (especially

when you feel your muscles
tightening up) and take a few deep
breaths.
 Do a relaxing exercise. Swing your
hands at your sides and stretch.
 Take a "power nap." Lie down and
totally relax for a few minutes.
 Find time to do the things you
enjoy.
 Leave your study area for a while
to take a brisk walk.