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Manipulation

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100% found this document useful (4 votes)
3K views

Manipulation

2

Uploaded by

Geilne Queiroz
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
You are on page 1/ 38

Manipulation

Emotional Manipulation Techniques To Influence


People With Mind Control, Persuasion, NLP

Lewis Fischer
Text Copyright © Lewis Fischer
All rights reserved. No part of this guide may be reproduced in any form without
permission in writing from the publisher except in the case of brief quotations
embodied in critical articles or reviews.
Legal & Disclaimer
The information contained in this book and its contents is not designed to
replace or take the place of any form of medical or professional advice; and is
not meant to replace the need for independent medical, financial, legal or other
professional advice or services, as may be required. The content and information
in this book has been provided for educational and entertainment purposes only.
The content and information contained in this book has been compiled from
sources deemed reliable, and it is accurate to the best of the Author's knowledge,
information and belief. However, the Author cannot guarantee its accuracy and
validity and cannot be held liable for any errors and/or omissions. Further,
changes are periodically made to this book as and when needed. Where
appropriate and/or necessary, you must consult a professional (including but not
limited to your doctor, attorney, financial advisor or such other professional
advisor) before using any of the suggested remedies, techniques, or information
in this book.
Upon using the contents and information contained in this book, you agree to
hold harmless the Author from and against any damages, costs, and expenses,
including any legal fees potentially resulting from the application of any of the
information provided by this book. This disclaimer applies to any loss, damages
or injury caused by the use and application, whether directly or indirectly, of any
advice or information presented, whether for breach of contract, tort, negligence,
personal injury, criminal intent, or under any other cause of action.
You agree to accept all risks of using the information presented inside this book.
You agree that by continuing to read this book, where appropriate and/or
necessary, you shall consult a professional (including but not limited to your
doctor, attorney, or financial advisor or such other advisor as needed) before
using any of the suggested remedies, techniques, or information in this book.
Description
If you’re not very familiar with manipulation, you might believe that it’s entirely
negative and that it has no positive traits, uses, or redeeming qualities. After all,
we always see it portrayed in a negative light in the media, and so, we come to
believe it. But that is, in itself, a form of manipulation, because they only
promote its negative aspects and not the positive ones.
I’m here to tell you that while manipulation can be used for evil purposes, it’s
not all bad! Manipulation doesn’t have to be used to hurt other people; on the
contrary – it’s an important social tool that can bring you immense benefits. That
is exactly what I want to talk to you about in this book. Manipulation can be
incredibly helpful, and I can show you how to use it and why, as well as open
your eyes to the malicious manipulation of others and teach you how to deal
with it.
This book can be your guide to manipulation in all of its aspects – from the very
basics, to techniques you can use to manipulate others, like persuasion, mind
control, and NLP to the tactics malicious manipulators use on innocent people in
order to hurt them and take advantage of them, as well as how to fight against
that. It’s all in here, at your fingertips.
Don’t hesitate to educate yourself on what manipulation entails and how you can
make use of it, yourself. We’ve all encountered manipulation in our lives in one
way or another, so it’s time to learn how to identify it and what to do when
you’re confronted with a manipulative person. Learn all the tips and tricks on
how to become a master of manipulation and use it for your own benefit!
Table of Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1: What is manipulation?
Chapter 2: When you’re the manipulator
a) What you can achieve through manipulation
b) Techniques for mind control
Persuasion
Mind control
NLP – Neuro-Linguistic Programming
Chapter 3: When someone else is the manipulator
a) Detecting manipulative people
b) Dealing with manipulative people
Conclusion
Introduction
Manipulative people are regarded as mean, malicious, psychotic and evil…but
maybe they’re just misunderstood. No, no, listen to me for a second. Allow me
to explain. While manipulation can certainly (and often) be used for evil
purposes and to hurt people, it can also be extremely useful for you, while not
doing anything to harm others.
Didn’t think that was possible? Well, this is exactly what this book is for – it will
explain everything you wanted to know about how manipulation works, what it’s
good for, how to do it, as well as how to recognize and deal with people who
want to use it against you, with nefarious intentions.
Manipulation is nothing more than taking advantage of your God-given
persuasive skills, or acquiring them with the purpose of using them not against
others, but for yourself. This is one of the most important distinctions you need
to learn and remember in order to be able to genuinely use manipulation in your
favor convincingly and without hesitation.
In fact, if you plan on using manipulation in order to harm others, I would advise
closing the book now and re-evaluating your life and your priorities; you’re
heading down a very dark path. The advice and tactics described and detailed in
this book are not meant to hurt others, so they won’t work, if that is your goal. In
fact, you will find a chapter dedicated to identifying manipulative behavior in
others and how to deal with that or counteract it.
In addition, you will learn what manipulation is, how to eliminate your
prejudices against it, and what tactics to employ in order to successfully use
manipulation to get what you want. As for what you can get through
manipulation – we cover that, too. Everything you need to know is neatly tucked
away in this handy guide for you to use. It’s thorough, easy to navigate and
created to help you.
If you lack the natural flair you need for this kind of thing, don’t worry; you
don’t have to be a born master manipulator in order to employ these techniques.
You can learn all there is to know about persuasion, manipulation, influence,
neuro-linguistic programming and even mind control. You don’t have to feel
inadequate, because everything can – and will be – learned.
That is exactly why I’ve decided to write this book; so it can act as a guide to
manipulation for you. It will walk you through everything you need to know in
order to start, step by step. Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated or
intimidated. You can learn how to identify and conquer manipulation and those
who employ it. Better yet, you can become the manipulator in that relationship,
instead of being a victim. Don’t wait any longer, learn how to master
manipulation and all its tactics today. Start right now, with this book. Good
luck!
Chapter 1
What is manipulation?
Manipulation is a bad word, or so we’re taught. When you think about it, it’s
always used in a negative context and it has an unfortunate connotation. But
what is manipulation? Psychology Today defines it as “[…]…the exercise of
undue influence through mental distortion and emotional exploitation, with the
intention to seize power, control, benefits and/or privileges at the victim’s
expense.”
Still pretty negative. Society doesn’t look kindly upon people who try to trick
others or coerce them to do things they wouldn’t, normally. That’s because
people tend to have foul intentions when engaging in manipulation. However,
you may have manipulated people in your lifetime, or have been manipulated
yourself, without even realizing it.
To give a very simple example, the advertising industry is essentially based on
manipulation. Its entire purpose and the point of its existence is to convince you,
through any means possible, to purchase things you don’t need and don’t
actually want. They lie, exaggerate, appeal to your emotions, and use every trick
in the book to get you to buy. Is that evil? Maybe. But it’s an evil we deem
acceptable in our society.
You see, it all depends on the way you look at things. If you want to see evil
intent, then that is what you will believe. But intent is important, and as long as
you don’t want to do harm, exerting influence or using your persuasive abilities
doesn’t have to be manipulative. Or the “bad” kind of manipulative.
Because we can’t guess intent, it’s a matter of subjective perception. Are you
manipulating someone, or just merely suggesting something very
enthusiastically? Is the sales assistant manipulating you, or genuinely
complimenting you on the fit of that jacket? You can never know. Or can
you…? Fortunately, detecting manipulation and manipulative people is one of
the things we’re going to discuss and learn in a later chapter.
The point is that you can try to define manipulation, but it’s difficult to
determine what, exactly and without a doubt, is manipulation and what isn’t. In
fact, to illustrate that point, let’s do a little exercise. I’ll give you some scenarios
and you decide if that seems like manipulation. Ready?
A girl with a little kid turn up at your doorstep. Oh, they’re from an
organization that helps children with heart disease, and did you know
little Timmy over here has a hole in his heart and had to have 34
surgeries since he was born? Isn’t that just terrible, and by the way, if
you want to help the poor children who are suffering with heart
diseases, we’re currently taking donations. Little Timmy is looking at
you all expectantly. What are you going to do?
You meet up with a friend for coffee. You chat for a bit and he
manages to mention money, how expensive something is, or the fact
that he’s broke about 15 times in 10 minutes. He orders the cheapest
drink, tries to stiff the waitress, and tells you how badly he needs
some cash and how much it would help him. He never outrights asks
you, though. Manipulation, or just a friend venting and telling you
about their life?
Lately, your significant other keeps telling you how much they like a
certain style of hair. First, they say it’s cute. Then, they start showing
you other people wearing that hairstyle or pointing out how good it
looks on someone else. They might mention how much they loved it
when you used to have your hair like that years ago.
They keep complimenting you on how good you looked, that it makes you look
younger, it sets off your eyes, it makes you look so hot, etc. After a while, you
start considering it – maybe you should cut your hair like that. You liked it too,
remember? And who doesn’t need to shave a few years off? Do you actually like
it, or were you manipulated into thinking you do, through some intelligent
positive reinforcement?
I know that now you’re probably expecting me to tell you whether or not these
examples were instances of manipulation, but I’m afraid I can’t; I don’t know,
myself. See what I was saying about intent? It could go either way, which is why
manipulation can be so subtle and insidious. You could be manipulated your
entire life and you’d never know.
Unless, of course, you learn how to identify this kind of behavior in other
people. With time and practice, you get to understand the basics of manipulation
better, what is and what isn’t manipulation, who is likely to be a manipulative
person, and who has nefarious purposes.
It’s also important to distinguish between manipulation and social influence. At
a superficial look, they might seem to be the same, or at least, similar, but the
truth is they couldn’t be more different. Why, you ask? Well, intent plays a role
here, once again. You see, social influence is absolutely normal and, most
importantly, mutual. As I said earlier, you might have been influenced – or even
manipulated – without even realizing.
No man is an island, and when you associate with other people, you’re going to
pick up some opinions, habits, preferences, etc. that you didn’t have before. Who
is to tell if you picked them up voluntarily, if you did it absently and organically,
or if someone was making a concentrated effort to make you change? Let me
give you some examples of social influence:

You start hanging out with a new friend who has different political
views than you do. Over time, you discuss some things, you realize
they have some good points, and you start to shift positions a bit. At
some point, you are at least partly “converted” to the other side.
You’ve always hated avocado, but lately, it’s become a trendy meal
option. You’ve been seeing it everywhere, so you decide to give it
another try. What do you know? You love it! You were influenced by
your environment to try it, but you made up your mind about it on
your own.
You never really dreamed about a wedding and always thought you’d
be single or just partnered. But your current partner really wants a
wedding and you want them to be happy. You realize you still don’t
necessarily want it, but you wouldn’t mind it. So you agree to get
married. You were influenced, but you made a choice.
This phenomenon isn’t exclusive just to politics, or religion, things like that, but
we can start “imitating” or sharing values with friends in literally any other
respect. It can be that you admire their fashion sense and unknowingly start to
recreate it. It can be that they’ve introduced you to horror movies and now you
love them. It can be anything at all.
You changing your mind about things or agreeing with someone else does not
have to be manipulation, and it does not need to be done with intent. It’s
impossible to not allow yourself to be influenced by external factors, whether
it’s media, society in general, or specific people.
While it can be argued that we, as a mass, are being manipulated on a large scale
by media and politicians, that’s a completely different ballgame. The apparatus
is entirely too complex to fight against it, and you can never know what is real
and what isn’t. Second-guessing and being suspicious of everything can turn you
into a conspiracy theorist concerned that everyone is out to get them and that
everyone is lying to them. And an existence fuelled by paranoia is not a good
one.
Oftentimes, people feel like fools when they realize they’ve been manipulated,
but you don’t have to feel bad. You couldn’t have known someone was playing
with your mind, because you’re earnest and you believe other people are as well.
But you’re about to have your eyes opened to the many facets of manipulation,
how it can be used against you, and how you can use it, as well.
Chapter 2
When you’re the manipulator
It’s easy to demonize manipulation when we’re talking about someone else, like
a cartoon villain, communist dictator, or the mean secretary from work. And the
truth is, yes, manipulation can absolutely be used for evil, and it can do real
damage.
It’s not something to take lightly or play with if you don’t know what you’re
doing. You wouldn’t want to inflict damage. However, manipulation can be
employed without destroying lives. Think of it like this: “bad” manipulation has
the purpose to hurt other people, while “good” manipulation brings you
advantages.
We’re not here to debate the morality of manipulation, and I would even venture
to say that if you’re uncertain about whether you can, in good faith, engage in
manipulation, then don’t do it. At least, not until it’s become clear where you
stand. I would like to make it clear that it is not my aim to push anyone to do
anything that contradicts their personal moral code. That being said, if you’re
cool with it, let us move forward and see what you can get out of this.

a) What you can achieve through manipulation


The first thing everyone wants to know, when it comes to manipulation, is what
they can do with it. What can they achieve? What can they obtain from people
that they couldn’t before? Are there major advantages you can score, or are you
just messing with people’s minds for no reason other than your own sick sense
of enjoyment?
The short answer is that yes, there are valuable things you can obtain from
having the skills to manipulate those around you. These advantages can be in
your personal life, in your professional life, or in any social setting, really.
Whether you’re trying to influence your friends or your boss, manipulation
techniques will prove to be of tremendous help when you’re trying to get what
you want.

Establish authority in various social circles


When you know how to sweet talk people and make them do things for you, you
become top dog. This goes for every social situation, whether you’re in the
workplace or within family dynamics. With the help of manipulation, you can
make yourself look like the most authoritative person in that situation and the
person everyone goes to for advice, instructions, etc.
Think about what it would be like to be the voice of reason in your family,
instead of yielding to the reigning matriarch or patriarch? Grandpa’s old
fashioned and grandma’s off her rocker and you shouldn’t be forced to listen to
them! Establish dominance and you will be the new leader of the clan.
Similarly, you can become the go-to guy at work. Ignore Dave, who is always
getting in the way and undermining you. Butter up everyone else in the office –
and if you happen to share something less than flattering about Dave, c’est la
vie! You’re better than him anyway, and so what if you had to pretend to like
Meg from Accounting? Everyone likes you now and the whole office knows
about that unfortunate, mysterious, and highly contagious rash Dave caught, so
they avoid him, now. You can practice your evil cackle later.

Gain social and material advantages


I know all major religions and general moral compasses say that lying is a Bad
Thing To Do, but think of all the things it can get you! If you spin the tale in just
the right way and play with someone’s head just a little bit to make them feel
guilty or pity you, you can gain social points, and even material advantages, if
you play your cards right.
Now, I’m not talking about going to the food bank and pretending to be
homeless to “score” a free meal, because that does not help anyone, and you’re
not exactly “gaining” anything, other than being a horrible person for no reason.
But if you’ve been gunning for that promotion at work, it can’t hurt to butter up
the boss a bit in order to get them to look upon you more favorably, does it?
What if you started planting the idea in their head that you would be the perfect
person for the job? Wouldn’t that be a tremendous help?
What about if you’re planning a wedding, for example, and you want a certain
venue, but your partner likes a different one? You can’t get them to change their
mind and it doesn’t make a difference at the end of the day, so you might
“accidentally” cancel the reservation and then let your partner know that they
double-booked by mistake, so now you have to look for a new venue. Oh, look,
the one you like is open for bookings! How convenient!”
Manipulation as a social tool is pretty much harmless to everyone else around
you, but it brings you advantages, so it’s a win-win. You get what you want,
everyone else is none the wiser, and no one misses out on anything or suffers
any kind of damage. What’s the harm?

Take the power in every relationship


The person who has control has the power, and the person who knows how to
manipulate people and situations has the control. It might not seem like it’s
important to have the “power” in your relationships, because we like to think
that our relationships are equal. But in reality, they are far from equal, and there
is always one person who has more influence over the other one, a person who is
in control.
When it comes to romantic relationships, traditionally, it was the man who had
the power, but as society evolves and becomes more equal, so do relationships.
We now like to believe that a romantic relationship can be equal, whether the
partners are a man and a woman, two men, or two women. The truth is that
someone is always in charge and it’s not even a gender thing; it’s a human thing.
Think of all the relationships in your life – your significant other, your best
friend, your co-workers, etc. Isn’t there always a person who gives more than the
other one, while the other person is more passive? Aren’t there always people
who make you work harder for their love, companionship, or appreciation? A
person who is more convincing than others and who somehow always manages
to get everyone else to see things their way?
Congratulations, you’ve discovered how inter-personal relationships actually
work. Now, think – wouldn’t you want to be that person who is in charge? The
person who gets their way and doesn’t have to compromise? Don’t get me
wrong, compromise can be great and noble, but to get there, you have to go
through a lot of conflict, disagreement, and just straight-up fighting. Why fight
over what color to paint the living room when you can just convince your
significant other that your way is better? Isn’t that healthier?
Or think about relationships where control is dictated by seniority, because that
is what society follows. We all know it’s nonsense to follow someone’s lead just
because they’re older. Respect is earned, not owed.

b) Techniques for mind control


Persuasion
Persuasion is the very first step on the scale of influencing behavior. Mostly
harmless and decently easy to learn, persuasion is achieved through your own
God-given charm and convincing abilities. Or, alternatively, that’s something
you can learn. Yes, that’s right, if you’re not very convincing, naturally, you can
change that, my friend.

But what is persuasion?


Persuasion is the art of convincing. You know, attracting someone to the dark
side. As far as influencing other people’s behavior goes, this sits low on the list
of immoral behavior or intentions. Everyone has the right to try to convince
someone else of something; some of us are more effective than others, but that
shouldn’t be held against us.
Contrary to popular belief, persuasion isn’t just spoken – when it comes to
convincing someone, it’s a concentrated and purposeful effort involving various
elements of your being. From your posture, to your body language, to your tone
of voice, and how well you maintain eye contact, it all contributes to creating the
impression of confidence and influence.
That’s the trick behind persuasion, in its most simple form – giving off a
supremely confident vibe and creating the impression that you know exactly
what you’re doing. People are intimidated, impressed and charmed by confident
people. They trust them, because of their own insecurities. You don’t know what
you’re doing, but that fella over there seems to know, so let’s listen to him.
Like I said, if you’re not a persuasive person, you can become one. There are
some tips and tricks you can employ in order to make yourself seem a different
person, a better person, a more confident and persuasive person that can
influence people and get what they want.

Be mindful of your posture


You wouldn’t believe how much our posture influences other people’s opinion
of us and what we represent. Think about it – who seems more confident, a
person who stands up straight or a person who slouches? Who seems healthier?
Who seems more successful? We believe in people we admire and people we
want to emulate, so you’ve got to work on that posture. Keep your back straight,
your shoulders back, and your head held high. Look straight ahead.
Maintain this posture at all times - while standing, walking, sitting, etc. This will
make it easier for it to become habit. So, the next time you need to stand in front
of a room full of people and be convincing, you will actually command respect
and attention.

Your tone is important


The most important lesson of all, when it comes to this part, is that your tone
should fit your message. It’s common sense, really – don’t laugh or sound
chipper if you’re talking about something serious, and don’t be somber if you
want to tell a joke. But people often miss the mark on this one, so it’s worth
mentioning.
An appropriate tone will underscore your message nicely and make it sound
more genuine and believable. Say it like you mean it and you will have the target
in the palm of your hand.

What kind of energy are you putting out?


What we call energy is your overall demeanor. You might not even be aware
that this is a thing or that it counts, but it’s actually one of the most important
aspects of persuasion. You need to “read” your target and see what energy they
are putting out. What mood are they in? Are they talkative? Do they seem tired?
Cranky? Excited?
This is important to note because your energy must match theirs, otherwise, this
whole show you’re putting on is in vain. If you’re overexcited when they’re
tired, that will be exhausting for them and they won’t pay attention. If you’re
happy when they’re miserable, they will be annoyed. If you’re somber when
they’re cheery, they’ll be bored. Remember that you want to retain their
attention.

The right amount of eye contact


Eye contact is overwhelmingly important to the way you are perceived and how
persuasive you are. But finding the right amount of eye contact is a delicate
balance. Too much, and you will be perceived to be aggressive, which will put
them on the defensive. Too little, and you will be perceived as not persuasive
enough, so they will stop listening.
The secret is to maintain eye contact all throughout your speech, but
sporadically. Look into their eyes at key moments when you’re talking, in order
to underline the importance of your words and make them pay closer attention.
This will make you seem sincere and open. After all, if you were lying, you
would be avoiding their gaze, right?

Body language is half the battle


It always comes back to body language, doesn’t it? Body language can make or
break your persuasiveness, so never underestimate its contribution. In order to be
convincing, you have to be aware of the body language you are expressing and
make sure it’s in line with what you’re saying.
Old, stand-by advice dictates that you should keep your pose open – turn your
body towards your audience, don’t keep your arms crossed, keep your palms
facing upward, etc. in order to put your audience at ease and express sincerity.
You should also remember not to play with your hair, drum your fingers, or
fidget, because that betrays nervousness and it’s not what you want to project.
Self-assured body language is essential.

Build confidence
Confidence is the common denominator here and the aspect that is most
noticeable in your interactions. Everything about you has to exude confidence,
but that’s difficult, when you don’t have it. But here is how you can build it up:

Think of your failures as teachable moments – learn from them,


instead of being discouraged. Now you know something new and
next time you know you will do better.
Repeat a confident mantra every day – as you will later learn from
this book (spoiler!), if you repeat something enough times, you start
to believe it. Tell yourself “I am persuasive and great at what I do!”
every day.
Put yourself in unfamiliar situations – after you do something that
terrifies you, it stops being intimidating. So embrace the opportunity
for unfamiliar situations; handling them successfully will give you
confidence.

What are some examples of persuasion?


A really good sales pitch – Have you ever had someone try to sell
you something – maybe some sort of cleaning product for your car,
maybe insurance, or maybe windows for your home – and actually
fell for it?
I can picture him now: nice dark suit, straight tie, slick hair, and a million-dollar
smile. He approaches you and asks if he can have a minute of your time. You
can waste a minute, so why not?
So he starts talking about this amazing new product and how good it is. It has all
these amazing features, he uses it himself and he’s super happy with how it
works. He even gives you a super convincing demonstration.
By the end of the sales pitch, you’re left there thinking “Why not?”. The guy
seems really passionate, confident in what he’s saying, and honest. You really
think that he wants the best for you, and the best is this new product. So you
hand him the money, no questions asked.

A successful presentation at work – Your co-worker is giving a


presentation today. You hate presentations, because your palms get
sweaty, you start stammering, and you can’t stop thinking about all
these people who are staring at you and judging you. Suffice it to say,
your presentations aren’t successful.
Your co-worker, however, glides over to the front of the room, and in the most
unwrinkled skirt you’ve ever seen, starts confidently talking about her project.
Her tone is firm, but measured, her back is straight, and her and gestures all
seem very intentional.
Every word she says adds to the effect of her presentation, and she never
hesitates or misses a beat. She somehow manages to maintain eye contact with
every single person in the room, so that you all feel like she is talking to you,
personally.
She is completely relaxed, talks like she knows exactly what she’s saying and
why, and smiles like she doesn’t have a care in the world. The result? No one
dares to even question her. You all buy whatever it is she is selling without
stopping to think if what she’s been saying makes sense or not – she said it so
well that it doesn’t matter anymore.

Mind control
Mind control, here is where it gets serious. You don’t play around with mind
control, it’s an activity not many people engage in, and with good reason. Mind
control is, perhaps, the ultimate form of persuasion, but it’s more than that. It’s
not just your mad persuasive abilities that allow you to effectively control
someone’s mind. Mind control relies on tricks of psychology and next-level
manipulation. Do not try this at home, kids.

What is mind control?


In the simplest terms possible, mind control is the act of controlling someone
else’s mind. This is possible through a high level of influence, so you should
know this is for advanced users, so to speak. If you’re just starting out trying to
influence people, you can’t move straight into mind control, because you will
fail and it might become obvious what you’re trying to do. That can be
dangerous and can have serious social repercussions, so I would be very careful
if I were you.
Now, mind control is nowhere near as dramatic as it sounds and as movies try to
make it look. There is no device that will allow you to actually, physically
control someone else’s mind and mold it into whatever you want. No, actual,
real life mind control is much more subtle and it involves some very skilled and
carefully calculated persuasion techniques.
It’s also good to know that a lot of these high-skill, high-level powerful
techniques take time to achieve, so we’re playing the long-con, here. You
certainly can put thoughts into people’s heads and subtly exert control over what
they think or do, but that takes practice, perseverance, consistency, and time.
You don’t want to rush a process like this, because then your plan will not
develop the way it should and your target will not assimilate the message
properly.
Another point I want to make is about subtlety – always, always make sure you
are not obvious in your attempts at mind control. Otherwise it will backfire in
ways you have yet to understand.

What are some examples of mind control?


Putting ideas into someone’s head – Let’s say you really want
someone to do a certain thing. Imagine you’re 12 and you want your
mom to buy you the new cool pair of sneakers, or maybe you want to
go to a certain vacation destination with your partner. You know that
if you suggest it, they will be against the idea, so you can’t outright
tell them. The idea must be their own. Or it must appear that way.
This means you can’t mention anything about this to them, because then they
will know what you’re up to. Don’t address it directly, but instead, make sure
they encounter the idea time and time again, but indirectly. You can achieve that
through all sorts of means, the only thing you really need is creativity,
persistence, and patience.
One tactic that I personally love is taking advantage of technology. You know
how Google displays targeted ads that are based on your personal searches and
interests? Well, it’s time to screw with that algorithm and give Google a new
idea to plant into your victim’s head.
Suppose your birthday is coming up and you want a certain expensive watch.
You can’t ask for it and there is no way your partner will think about it on their
own, so you have to offer a little help. Go on their computer and start searching
for that watch. Do it every day, every time you find the computer unattended.
Make sure to go on specific gift websites so they’ll receive the images of the
watch in the context of gift-giving. Remember to delete the search history so that
they won’t know you looked for it. Soon, they will start receiving ads for that
watch every day and they will be constantly exposed to that image. It will plant
the seed in their head.
Another good idea is to sign them up for a newsletter from a store that sells the
watch. These things tend to send emails every week, sometimes with discount
codes and sales attached. Something like this can push your significant other
over the edge, if they’d been toying with the idea of purchasing that watch for
you. Or at the very least, it can get them to think about it even more than they
already did.
Another trick you can employ is to co-opt a friend (or several) and have them
talk about how great this watch is and how affordable it is. It’s all about
reinforcing the idea that’s already in their head, and through these numerous and
repetitive suggestions, leading them to the conclusion that they thought of the
idea themselves.

Thinking for someone – If there is one thing people have in


common, it’s our complete and utter laziness. Believe it or not,
people are even too lazy to think. It sounds ridiculous, but when you
think about it, it’s not that surprising, really. Our brains go into
overdrive thinking about a hundred different things, every second of
the day. The basic things like food, shelter, safety, etc. are a given,
but civilization and social development have added worries like work
stress, class anxieties, social conflicts, etc.
Ironically, the more developed we are as a species, the more work and stress we
seem to add into our lives. It’s no wonder mindless tasks and hobbies have
gained so much popularity in recent years (adult coloring books, minimalism,
Netflix, etc.); at the end of the day, we all just want to get home and not think.
But with all of our modern responsibilities and worries, that is unfortunately an
unattainable dream, most of the time.
Keeping that in mind, when someone comes along and offers to essentially think
for you, most people will jump at the chance to enjoy some rest and let someone
else do the hard work, even if just for a moment.
If you’re versed in manipulation, you will recognize this as an excellent
opportunity to impose your own point of view. When people already have their
minds made up about something, or when you ask them to think, you won’t have
much success. If you present them with an idea you’ve already thought of, on the
other hand…the results are drastically different.
This is valuable advice for any area or aspect of your life, not necessarily if you
want to manipulate someone. For example, you are much more likely to get
someone to meet with you if you give them a specific date and time. “Hey, do
you want to meet? What time would be better for you?” seems to be polite and
accommodating, but ironically, it will yield poor results. If, on the other hand,
you give a firm “I can meet on Tuesday at 3”, you are more likely to receive an
affirmative answer.
Why? First of all, because you allow minimal waffling. They have no room to
hem and haw and change their minds and they can’t put you off. Second, it’s
because you present a solid moment in time, that you’ve already thought of. All
they have to do is show up. No thinking. No planning. No scheduling. No
worrying. Just going with whatever you came up with. It’s the easiest choice in
the world to make and that’s all you have to do to get what you want: be the one
to make the choices.

Repetition – When you repeat something several times, you


remember it; that’s how learning works, through practice. The same
concept can be applied to mind control: latch onto an idea and repeat
it to your target enough times, in different and subtle ways, and you
will notice that they begin to assimilate it, only they don’t know
where they heart it or how they were introduced to it. They just know
it’s there, now.
This can be used for a number of things, from acquiring a skill – practice makes
perfect! – to learning a language, studying, etc. Of course, repetition is an
important tool in manipulation, because it’s very easy to strongly suggest
something to your target and have them assimilate the message. Of course, this
won’t work as well if it’s an idea that the target does not agree with – hence why
we still have political contradictions in the world.
This can be a very effective technique, but you’ve got to be careful about how
you bring the message into discussion – if you insist too much on your idea, the
target might catch on and your repetition might put the person off. If you have
too much of a good thing, there’s a pretty high chance that you will never want
to see it or hear about it again, so you have to maintain a careful and calculated
balance in order to not fall into this trap.
My suggestion is to start slowly, and introduce the idea subtly. You shouldn’t
appear to be very eager or too set in your opinion, because that might put the
target on the offensive and they will be resistant to your message. You need to
display a relaxed, confident air, that puts the target at ease and makes them more
likely to listen to you and open to having their opinion challenged or changed.
Try to introduce the topic each time as if it’s not a big deal and you just happen
to be talking about it.

NLP – Neuro-Linguistic Programming


Let’s start with the very beginning with this one:

What is NLP?
NLP is short for neuro-linguistic programming and it has been described as a
“behavioral technology”. Neuro-linguistic programming encompasses
psychotherapy, personal development, and communication, and it originates in
California in the 1970s, having been discovered by John Grinder and Richard
Bandler.
To put it in simpler terms, neuro-linguistic programming is used to change your
behavior by influencing your programming and neuro-language. Proponents of
NLP claim that it can help get rid of a whole range of things, including near-
sightedness, tic disorders, colds, psychosomatic illness, phobias, allergies,
learning disorders, and even depression.
They say this works by influencing and modifying the behavior of people,
allowing them to learn skills other people have, often in one single session,
which is, by all standards, an extraordinary claim. If this is, indeed, real, then it’s
an extremely powerful tool that can work in your favor in a variety of situations.
Hypnotherapy appears to be the place where one would go to have this used on
them, but there are also seminars you can attend to learn how to make use of this
technique in your own life, whether it is for personal use or for business
endeavors.

What are some examples of NLP?


There are various tactics and tools you can use with NLP. It’s all about taking
control of your mind (or, in this case, someone else’s mind). They involve
tapping into your subconscious in order to influence and control it through
simple tricks that you can use on yourself, in order to overcome certain mental
blockages, or on others, in order to steer them in a certain direction. Neuro-
linguistic programming can achieve amazing things for you or others, but it can
also used to hypnotize people and create some real damage, so use it
responsibly.

Believe it and it shall come true


The power of belief is outstanding and it’s baffling that we don’t use it more in
order to get the things we want. The placebo effect is real (and scientifically
proven, time and time again), which goes to show how incredibly powerful our
brains are. You can harness that power for yourself, and attract all you’ve ever
dreamed about. Or…you can attract other things to other people.
If the placebo effect works on you, it will work on other people, as well. That
means that you can use your persuasive abilities to convince them of whatever
you want, and as long as long as they really, truly believe in it, they will attract it
naturally. Really, you don’t even need to do much, the placebo effect will do all
the work for you. The only thing you need to do is get them to believe the same
thing you do.
This works very well if you’re looking to psyche someone out, for example.
Let’s say you’re in a competition with someone and you want to sabotage your
adversaries in order to give you a higher chance of winning. Start casually
talking about failure, how tired they must be, how terrible it would be for them
to fail. Ask them if they feel prepared enough for the competition, and absent-
mindedly make a note of something that seems off about them.
Don’t make it obvious that you’re trying to play with their mind, say everything
as if you’re just thinking out loud. All these thoughts will get to them, and they
will think about failure. They will believe that they will fail. That will affect
their ability to focus and at some point, they will have a misstep, thus granting
you the advantage. It’s true that you laid the groundwork, but the actual failure is
all on them. Thanks, placebo effect!

Take advantage of associations


Your mind will often play tricks on you. That’s because, as powerful a machine
as our brain is, it can still get confused or lag behind. If you’re not paying
attention, the brain goes on auto-pilot and makes wrong decisions all the time.
Think of all the impulses and things you do “without thinking”. Ever put the TV
remote in the refrigerator or threw the forks in the trash can, instead of the sink?
Absent-mindedly multi-tasking is not the most efficient thing in the world.
Keeping this in mind, you can do lots of things to trick people, right under their
noses. It’s not magic, and it’s not even particularly manipulative. At the end of
the day, it’s their own brain playing tricks on them and they really should be
paying more attention, instead of allowing you to just make fools out of them.
There is an infamous case of Derren Tricks, a British personality from the show
“Trick or Treat”, who goes around New York paying sales people with blank
pieces of paper. That’s right, white paper. How does he manage? He goes
through with the transaction normally – looks the product, asks about it, listens
to details, etc. basically, he gets a conversation going with the shop keeper.
Then, he says he’ll take it, and as he’s taking out his wallet, he starts scrambling
the person’s thoughts by asking about directions for the train station, talks about
how confusing the subway is, etc. While the person’s attention is distracted, he
takes out the blank pieces of paper and hands them over. Because the person has
something tangible that they associate with money (i.e. having paper in their
hands), they don’t pay attention to what they are actually given. The amazing
thing is that a lot of the time, they count the “money” too, or otherwise inspect it,
but without actually realizing it’s not money.
The association the brain makes with the physical sensation is so strong, and its
multi-tasking ability is so poor, that the person doesn’t actually see what is in
front of them. Darren gets some free fillets this way and even a $4,500 platinum
ring with diamonds! The power of misdirection is overwhelming and a little
terrifying, so be careful with it, it’s very strong.

Engage in some negging


This technique is used by pick-up artists everywhere, and while they might be
slimy and use it for immoral purposes, the actual tactic is very effective and can
be used for other things, as well. “To neg” comes from “negative” and it
basically means putting forward a negative attitude, or offering back-handed
compliments. Sometimes, even insults.
The psychology behind it is that it makes people feel inadequate and not good
enough. People have this innate desire to be likeable and when someone doesn’t
think they’re good enough, the first impulse is to prove to them that they are.
The meaner you are to someone, the harder they will try to make you like them.
This means that you can get some pretty sweet perks out of this dynamic and
motivate people to do whatever you want, sometimes. Occasionally, you won’t
even have to ask. This works beautifully with people you’ve just met, but it also
works with people you know. Let’s say you’ve been receiving crappy gifts from
your friend over the last few years, but you want this year to be different and for
them to put more effort into it.
Begin to distance yourself, almost imperceptibly. Start ignoring some texts and
replying late to others, give short answers, etc. Generally, avoid being overly
friendly, but don’t be mean, either. Just…more reserved. Not enough that they
can actually point to something and ask what’s the matter, but enough that they
become paranoid that you’re upset with them. After some time, they’ll feel it and
they will think they did something. They might ask you about it, but just pretend
everything is cool.
You will notice that the requests to hang out will increase exponentially, as will
the amount of attention they give you. You can bet this year’s gift will be
amazing, because they want to win your affection back and make up for
whatever it is they think they did.
Chapter 3
When someone else is the manipulator
a) Detecting manipulative people
When you’re the victim of a manipulative person, it can seem impossible to
detect. In fact, you won’t even realize you’re being manipulated, and that is the
biggest danger. Manipulation can act as extremely effective emotional abuse,
and just like victims of physical abuse, it is incredibly difficult to open your
eyes, realize that you’re being taken advantage of, and distance yourself from the
abuser.
Manipulative people can be encountered everywhere, in any social situation.
Actually, I’m willing to bet you know several manipulative people who exert
their skills (more or less successfully) over you in the workplace, at school, in
your friends circle, etc.
When the manipulative person is a stranger, or someone you’re not close to, it’s
significantly easier to a) identify the manipulating behavior and b) distance
yourself from that person and not allow their behavior to affect you. That is
because in order for manipulation to truly work effectively and exert the
maximum amount of power, the victim must care about and trust the
manipulator deeply.
That is why actually, the vast majority of manipulation cases are actually present
in family dynamics. To say that it’s difficult to identify your family member’s
behavior as manipulative is an understatement. Not only are they using their
skills against you, but there is the added element of trust and guilt that does not
allow you to truly believe that a person close to you could ever want to do you
harm.
However, the situation is unfortunately common and it is not unusual for people
to live lives full of lies and have relationships based entirely on manipulative
behavior. You can learn how to identify the behavior employed by these people,
you just need to pay attention to the most common techniques they use and know
how to recognize the signs.

1. Constant criticism
It’s common for the manipulator to try to make you always feel inadequate, so
that you’re off balance and vulnerable. If you feel bad or think there is
something wrong with you all the time, from every point of view, they can make
you doubt yourself and get into your head. Thus, they retain superiority and
control.
How do they achieve it? In actuality, this is cleverly disguised bullying, but it’s
difficult to show that to other people. The manipulator is always judging you,
commenting negatively on everything you do and doing their best to bring you
down. It seems like you can do nothing right and that you’re essentially
worthless. They successfully marginalize you by either making you feel bad
about yourself or creating a negative impression about you in other people.

2. Allowing you to display your weaknesses


Think of a manipulator as a predator who’s lying in waiting for the prey to
expose itself. That is exactly the behavior they display. Especially when meeting
someone new, they will allow you to be yourself, speak first, talk about yourself,
etc. in order to be able to study your behavior and identify your baseline. They
now know how you act, react, what you think, what your values are, etc. They’re
informed on your person, but you aren’t on theirs. So they have the advantage
and can strike.
How do they achieve it? Generally, a manipulator will play nice at first,
presenting a fake face that’s nice, welcoming and accommodating, and will often
concede in front of you as a sign of supposed politeness. They will insist you
speak first, eat first, talk about yourself, etc. They will prod you for information
on every aspect of your existence, in order to learn more about you and what
makes you tick. This bleeding of information is always done under the guise of
politeness and genuine interest in your life. It is only later that you realize they
are gathering ammunition.

3. Playing victim
If there is one thing manipulators love to do, is play victim. They love attention
(especially the narcissists) and they will pry it out of you at all cost. They get off
on making you worry, taking advantage of your sense of obligation or duty,
having you spend time and resources to cater to them instead of doing something
important to you, etc. They enjoy the control that gives them and will exploit it
to make unreasonable demands.
How do they achieve it? They will create conflict where there is none, imagine
insults, exaggerate or make up issues or personal problems. A very “popular”
way to do it is create a fake health issue, pretend they are more ill than they are,
threaten they’re on their death bed, purposefully make themselves sick, insist
you are trying to hurt them, lament that everyone hates them, etc. Screaming,
crying, and throwing tantrums is all par for the course in order to get pity and
attention.

4. Controlling the environment


One of the basics of manipulation calls for ensuring you have environmental
advantage. That means attracting the victim in your court, so to speak, on a
territory where you have control, so you can dominate them. The goal is to make
them feel unsure and uncomfortable in an unfamiliar place, while the
manipulator is completely at ease in a space they own or know very well.
How do they achieve it? Again, the invitation for the victim to step into “enemy”
territory is often disguised as politeness and hospitality. People will insist to
meet at their house, will always be the ones to drive, or otherwise interact on
their home turf, where they are in power. They rely on the fact that they have
control over their own home and that they can essentially “trap” the victim there,
who does not have a choice, being in someone else’s home. Oftentimes, people
will not react at manipulative jabs for fear of being rude, which is exactly what
the manipulator is counting on.

5. Surprising you negatively


A power move manipulators use is to pull the rug from under you when you
least expect it. They cause a negative situation unexpectedly, in order to confuse
you and put you off balance. You are suddenly confronted with a problem you
had not anticipated, and all your resources need to go into figuring out how to
solve the issue quickly and without consequences. You are no longer in control
of the situation at hand, because you have not time to prepare for it.
How do they achieve it? Either a manipulator will actively cause chaos with the
purpose of throwing you off your game, or they will just wait to inform you of a
negative development until it’s too late. When a manipulator has information,
they will always wait until the worst possible moment to make it known. They
might suddenly back out of a favor they promised they would do, they might
pretend to have misunderstood something to excuse their “mistake”, etc.
6. Feigning misunderstanding or ignorance
When you don’t understand something, no one can make you do it, right? At
least, that’s the logic the manipulator applies here. The manipulative individual
will suddenly claim ignorance of even basic things, all in order to get out of a
responsibility they have or determine the victim to do it themselves.
How do they achieve it? This tactic relies on the victim becoming exasperated,
irritated, bored, or running out of time while waiting around for the manipulator
to supposedly understand what they are being told. This way, the manipulator
either stalls for time until it’s too late, thus inconveniencing the victim, or the
victim takes it upon themselves to complete the task originally assigned to the
manipulator, so the latter is off the hook.

7. Weaponizing paperwork
There is more than one way to stall for time, and manipulators know all the
tricks. Procedure, paperwork, documentation can all take a lot of the victim’s
time and make their life difficult or burden them unnecessarily. That is the
ultimate goal of the manipulator. Even if they are not stalling for a specific
purpose, the simple fact that they are making the victim’s life more difficult than
it has to be gives them a sense of power and control.
How do they achieve it? You will see this tactic used a lot in law enforcement
and people working with the public, in general. It’s an attempt at exerting
control through the only avenue they have: inserting legal road blocks. Some
people will actively seek career paths that allow them to do things like this
because of the perceived control they have over other people.

8. Criticism disguised as humor


One of the oldest tricks in the book, manipulators often insult people only to
claim that it was just a joke and lament how upset the victim is for no reason.
Like the other type of criticism we discussed, this is meant to make the other
person insecure, knock them down a peg, shake their self-esteem, and otherwise
make them feel inferior to the manipulator.
How do they achieve it? Sharper jabs will be inflicted when the manipulator is
alone with the victim, but in public, they will always be disguised as humor.
“Funny” anecdotes about embarrassing moments in the victim’s life, insults,
comments, judgment – all of this hiding behind the guise of humor so they can’t
be called out on their cruelty.

9. Springing something on you


Since surprising the victim works so well, manipulators will do it often when
they’ve got something to gain from it. They will especially do it when you have
to make a quick decision about something. They thrive on putting immense
pressure on the victim, hoping that they will buckle. That gives them control and
makes it more likely that the victim will concede to their opinions, requests, or
demands.
How do they achieve it? This situation is easy to create by hiding a time
sensitive issue from the victim, or creating it themselves. The manipulator adds a
sense of urgency to the situation and actively puts more pressure on the victim
by rushing them or asking them what they are going to do. This adds tremendous
psychological stress to the victim and confuses them, thus giving the
manipulator an advantage.

10. Gaslighting
One of the most common and effective manipulation techniques is gaslighting.
That is playing with the victim’s mind and making them question themselves
and their sanity by twisting and manipulating facts. Even if the victim was
present for certain events and knows what happened, the manipulator will deny
and invent a new version of reality in order to confuse and make the victim
doubt their recollections.
How do they achieve it? The manipulator will outright lie to the victim’s face
and try to convince them certain things didn’t happen or didn’t happen the way
the victim remembers them. After applying this treatment repeatedly, the victim
might come to question their own sanity and wonder what is real and what is not.
Especially when the victim is alone, it’s relatively easy to get them to doubt
themselves and their own memories.

11. Guilt-tripping
Guilt-tripping is the manipulator’s favorite pastime. They will pretend to be hurt,
disappointed, insulted, abandoned, victimized, etc. by the victim’s actions in
order to appeal to their emotions and vulnerability. The manipulator relies on the
victim’s good nature and sense of responsibility in order to make them feel
guilty for the hurt the manipulator is supposedly feeling, even when it is not their
fault.
How do they achieve it? Fake crying is an old stand-by, especially employed by
female manipulators, but also children, once they’re old enough to understand
that it attracts attention that is beneficial to them. Talking about their hurt
feelings, about how lonely they are, about how cruel the victim is being for
whatever perceived slight the manipulator is making up, etc. are all tactics to
make the victim feel guilty and cater to the manipulator’s demands.

12. Fact overload


Manipulators love to feel superior and will often artificially create situations that
allow them to display this superiority over their victims. When it comes to
intellectual superiority, they are not above making up facts and information and
overloading their victim with it in order to demonstrate that they hold all the
knowledge and the victim is comparatively ignorant, even when the subject does
not interest the victim.
How do they achieve it? The manipulator will pick a topic, regardless of interest
or importance, and will start dumping information on the victim and
overwhelming them with details they have no interest in. Stories, statistics, facts,
numbers, etc. anything that will allow them to claim intellectual superiority,
even where there is none. The goal is to make the victim feel inadequate and
ignorant, thus granting the manipulator psychological control.

13. No contact
Silence can hold power and manipulators will use it to their advantage. Whether
it’s by stalling on something important or simply refusing to answer texts or
calls because they want to make a point about how wrong the victim is, they will
use silence as a way to make the victim doubt themselves. After a long enough
period of this silent treatment, the victim will start second-guessing themselves
and asking themselves why they are being punished.
How do they achieve it? The manipulator will use silence as punishment and as a
form of control over the victim. If they can’t control the victim with words and
actions, they will control them with silence and inaction. It’s all meant to make
the victim wonder what they did wrong and start looking for blame within
themselves, thus deflecting blame from the manipulator.
14. Raising their voice
Manipulators are known to raise their voice as a display of dominance and
aggression. It is meant to intimidate and overpower the victim by making
themselves and their emotions louder and more obvious than the victim’s.
Typically, this might also be paired with over the top hand gestures in order to
appear bigger, more overwhelming, and to cause the victim to retreat into a
smaller space.
How do they achieve it? Oftentimes, a discussion will not even warrant raising
their voice, because it does not yet turn into an argument, but the manipulator
can turn anything into a one-sided argument. They can take offense and imagine
conflict at the drop of a hat, just so they have an excuse to raise their voice and
go into “fight” mode, in order to intimidate or overpower the victim.

15. Fact manipulation


Manipulators do not shy away from manipulating reality, when it is in their
advantage. That includes events, facts, etc. They will lie, cheat, omit
information, purposefully hide information, twist the words of others, mislead,
etc. This “adjustment” of the truth will occur in any situation benefits them,
whether it’s a personal situation, professional, etc. Lying is second nature to a
manipulator, so they will not think twice before doing it to get what they want.
How do they achieve it? Sometimes, manipulators will lie just to stir the pot and
distress the victim. They don’t need to necessarily have a clear purpose beyond
wreaking havoc or upsetting their victim, or sometimes, just attracting attention
of any kind, so you can expect a manipulator to be lying through their teeth even
about mundane or unimportant things.

b) Dealing with manipulative people


When you’re not versed into the fine art of manipulation and you’re unfamiliar
with the signs, it can be extremely difficult to deal with such people when they
work against you. In fact, there are life-long relationships that maintain the
manipulator-victim dynamic without any changes, because the victim either does
not recognize the manipulation and/or abuse, or they do not know how to
address it or deal with it.
Especially when the manipulator is someone you know and love, it can be
incredibly difficult and heart-wrenching to identify and deal with the
manipulation. After all, no one knows how to act upon realizing their own
mother, brother, or best friend are manipulative people that are hurting them. No
one is properly equipped for that.
Fortunately, once you learn about it, it becomes much easier to spot and identify,
and also easier to handle. This next section will be dedicated to dealing with the
manipulative people you may encounter in your life, whether they are strangers
or loved ones.

Ignore them
“Ignore them and they’ll go away” is rarely good advice against bullying,
because that is what this is, a form of (usually adult) bullying. However, unlike
children, who we have a duty to protect, adults can deal with adults on the same
level. Ignoring them might not work for the majority of people; however,
depending on what kind of manipulation is being employed and how much it
affects you, you might just get away with simply not giving it any attention.
The vast majority of the techniques manipulators employ rely on their victim’s
reaction. If you do not give the a reaction, you’ve effectively taken away their
venom, they can’t hurt you if you don’t allow yourself to be hurt, or more
specifically, don’t give them satisfaction by showing them how hurt you are.
That is all they want, at the end of the day, to see how they’re upsetting you.
You can’t let them win.
Of course, even if you understand why ignoring them might work, actually doing
it is more difficult. It’s hard not to react to their hurtful jabs, especially when
they make you angry and all you want to do is lash out. But remember that
manipulators work discreetly, so you lashing out will put you in a negative light,
while allowing them to appear to be the victim. So, what can you do? Employ
some counter-techniques of your own:

Grey-rocking
Grey-rocking takes its name after the action you’re supposed to do – act like a
grey, unfeeling, unmoving rock. That’s just a fancy way of saying that you
should ignore their attempts to hurt you, but also that you should stop engaging.
When they ask something, give a non-answer, or a non-committal reply. For
example:

“When are you going to do something with your life?”


“Someday.”
“Are you finally going to do something about that horrible haircut
you have?”
“I don’t know.”
“You’re hurting me so much, I’m just a frail old, sick woman!”
“That’s nice.”
Another very good tactic that has the added bonus of driving the manipulator
crazy is simply removing yourself from the situation when they start in on you.
They insult you? Leave the room. They play victim? Leave the room. They try to
stir the pot? Leave the room. Every single time they try to create a conflict of
any sort, you need to get up and leave. That way, they will learn that they cannot
play these games with you.

Information diet
An information diet is exactly what it sounds like it is. If you stop giving the
manipulator information about you, you take away their ammunition. What they
don’t know, they can’t use to hurt you. This is easy enough to do with strangers,
acquaintances, and maybe co-workers, as your private life is none of their
business, anyway. Where it gets hard is when the manipulator is within your
family.
But even in that case, it is entirely possible for you to stop them from using
information about your own life to hurt you. Here are some things you can do to
minimize conflict:

Don’t ever offer information about your life voluntarily. Keep things
vague; if they ask how you’re doing, stop at “I’m fine, thanks.” They
don’t need to know you’ve been to the hospital, that you lost your
job, or that you just won $1 million.
If they ask specific questions, grey rock. Again, none of the things
they ask are things they need to know. Not how much money you
make, not how things are going in your family life, love life, or any
other aspect of your life. Unless this information is vital to them, do
not give it to them.
Don’t give information to people who communicate with them.
Sometimes, even if you manage to shelter yourself and don’t tell
them information directly, it will reach their ears anyway, through
well-meaning third parties.
If you don’t want them to hear something, don’t just tell other people to please
not tell the manipulator – remember that they are very good at spinning tales in
their favor and making people do things for them. Instead of making yourself
vulnerable by allowing info to slip through the cracks, lock it down by not
telling anyone else who could tell them.

Cut contact with them


Again, this tactic works easier with certain categories of people than it does with
others. It’s easy to cut ties with a manipulative friend, but when the manipulator
is your own mother or another family member, interrupting contact can be
difficult (logistically and emotionally), or even next to impossible.
The cons are the difficulty, the judgment you will receive from people who do
not understand the situation, the manipulator’s attempts to get their victim back,
as well as the fact that you might miss them and want to re-establish contact at
some point.
The pros, however, far outweigh the cons: you will be free of interference,
bullying, emotional abuse, etc. You no longer need techniques of dealing with
them, because you don’t have to. Keep in mind that you always have a choice of
not remaining in contact with the manipulator. Unless you absolutely must
engage with them in the workplace or a similar situation, remove yourself,
distance yourself, etc.

Confront them
There is always the option of just letting them know that you are onto their mind
games and tactics and that you are neither intimidated nor weak. You will not
fall for their manipulation and will not provide them with a victim to project
their nastiness on. They will try to gaslight you and tell you that you are making
everything up and none of the situations you describe actually happened. It’s up
to you to stay strong and remember that they cannot hurt you.
It’s not really recommended to do this in public unless you have evidence
(which we’ll talk about in a minute), because otherwise you risk putting yourself
in an unfortunate position. The manipulator is likely to manipulate everyone else
and the situation in their favor. Their penchant for always being the victim will
serve them well and impress everyone else, and you do not want them taking the
abuser’s side.
At the end of the day, confrontation will let them know that you are very well
aware of who they really are, which might as well cause them to escalate, but the
more they escalate and the more obvious their real self is, the easier it is to show
the rest of the world who they really are, as well.

Expose them
Exposure is, perhaps, a manipulator’s worst nightmare. Many times, they rely on
their public image, which is at polar opposites with their real self. Exposure of
their true colors would mean the end of their double life and the end of their
ability to manipulate people. If everyone knows who you are and what you are
capable of, they won’t go near you and they won’t believe your lies. And what is
a manipulator without other people they can manipulate?
Exposing a person like this is not easy, but it becomes easier as they start to lose
control and composure. You have to take advantage of the cracks in the image
and push further to cause them to lose their cool and make a scene.
Alternatively, if you have concrete evidence of a situation they manipulated (like
an audio or video recording), showing the world is essentially the end of their
reign.
You do need to exercise caution with something like this because the
manipulator will not react kindly to being exposed. They will be angry and
depending on how disordered they are, they might come after you. Take
protective measures against possible danger; it’s always better to be safe than
sorry.
Conclusion
Congratulations on making it to the end! If you’ve made it this far, I am
confident in my assessment that you are now on your way to becoming a master
of manipulation. You’ve gone through everything you need to learn about
manipulation, from theory, to practice, from basics to advanced techniques.
Manipulation has no more secrets for you, so look out, world! I hope you’ve
enjoyed the process of learning more about this fascinating social art and that
you now understand the immense value of a skill like manipulation.
Despite the infamous reputation it carries, manipulation does not have to be
strictly evil or used for nefarious purposes. While it’s true that it certainly can
inflict harm and a world of hurt if used by the wrong people in the wrong way,
most importantly, manipulation can bring amazing social advantages to the
manipulator. That is a healthy way of using it, too – as a social tool that can help
you navigate social situations better and gain more advantages.
What I want you to take away from this book is that you do not have to have
these innate skills in order to apply this tool successfully. Anyone can learn
manipulation skills, you just have to pay attention to the lessons I outlined for
you in this book and make an effort to acquire all the skills you need. It’s
certainly a matter of talent, but much more of the process if attributed to hard
work, so get right on that!
I wanted this to be a comprehensive guide to manipulation, so that anyone can
read it and understand exactly what they need to do. All you need to know is
right here, in this e-book, from basics to tactics for the advanced and the
individuals versed in the dark art of manipulation. As you were able to see,
getting started is not actually that difficult. You just need to have a good starting
point and valuable information and advice.
After that, it is up to you to practice and apply what you’ve learned here. You
won’t get it right the first time, but with practice, you too can become an expert
in manipulating people according to your will and preference. There is no limit
on the things you can obtain with the help of pulling strings and bending
people’s minds to your advantage.
I hope this book served as the guide you needed to get your feet wet when it
comes to manipulation. The aim of this book was to teach you everything so that
you can understand manipulation better, and be able to identify it in others in
order to protect yourself from it, but also know how to apply it in your everyday
life. Remember that manipulation can be used for good or evil, and that you
don’t need to hurt people with it. It can be a skill like any other that you use to
gain personal advantages, so start applying it right now, with the help of this e-
book. Good luck!

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