The Kindness

Workbook
Empowered by Bumble

In partnership with MindPeers ・ A guide curated by therapists

Before anything else, we have a gift!

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 KINDNESS IS SEXY
In the list of things that are sexy, here are a few more:

Feeling respected and safe while having a vulnerable

conversation with someone.

Feeling empowered in seeking help for our struggles

and fears.

Having a meaningful relationship where ‘come as you

are’ feels real.

This World Mental Health Day, we’re helping you spread

kindness like confetti, quite literally. Let’s go!

Current Status:

Select

In My Era

In My Kindness Era
HERE YOU’LL FIND:

Section 1

Being kinder to ourselves.

Reframing negative self-talk.

Letting go of what doesn’t serve us.
Being friends with our bodies.
Asking for help.

Section 2

Being kinder to people around.

Decoding and developing empathy.

Making room for boundaries.
Kinder disagreements.
Extending compassion to someone.
going through a difficult time.
 KINDNESS BINGO
Before we dive into this section, let’s experience the
different forms in which we feel and receive kindness.

Here are some nice small acts to supercharge your

month. Try to hit any six out of these:

Share your
current favourite
Share a Pet the dog in
book, song or
compliment. your lane.
movie with
someone.

Leave a good Look in the

Hold the door for
review for your mirror and give
someone behind
favourite small yourself six
you.
business. compliments.

Write nine Leave a Let go of clothes

things for cheerful note that no longer fit
which you’re in a random you without
grateful. public spot. feeling guilty.
 SECTION 1:
BEING KIND TO OURSELVES
 #1: THE WAY YOU SPEAK
TO YOURSELF MATTERS!

Instead of Say this

What if my date thinks I’ll just be myself, it’s okay

I’m too loud? if we don’t vibe.

Instead of Say this

I’m a bad person... I made a mistake but I’ll do

my best to make amends.

How to change the way your self talk?

Step one: Recognise

Flag it to yourself mentally when you find your thoughts
labelling or self-limiting. Identifying them is important.

Step two: Challenge

Question the thought: Is there any other possibility for why I’ve
come to this conclusion? Am I overthinking it?

Step three: Replace

Ask yourself: What is another way in which I could say this...
something that is a little more kind, neutral and self-
compassionate?
 Time to walk the talk now. Think of the last three
self-limiting statements you thought about yourself
and restructure them:

Instead of Say this

Instead of Say this

Instead of Say this

Pro Tip: Think about how you speak to your best friend when
they’re low. You make sure you acknowledge what they’re
feeling, validate them and are super gentle and supportive.
Now apply that to yourself. Start talking to yourself the way
you speak to your best friend.

Therapy is another great place to work on self-talk. Sessions

start at INR 295 for our community, click here to avail.
Use code KINDNESSISSEXY.
#2: WHAT’S YOUR PURPLE?
Often in life, we end up carrying something longer than we
should - a relationship, an emotion, guilt, or a memory. We all
know it’s important to let go and we want to let go too. But if
only it was that easy, right?

Okay, visualise this with us:

Let’s call this thing we want to let go ‘Purple.’

Now Purple clearly had a very deep impact on us. We
subconsciously ended up attaching parts of ourselves and our
identities to it. Now letting go becomes scary because deep
down we feel afraid and unsure of what will happen to those
parts of our identities which got attached.

What parts of me are deeply attached to the

Purple? What parts of my identity, my routine,
and my body feel scared of letting go?
 UNTIE THE ROPES
These boats can carry heavy loads far away. Dump
your worries, fears and Purple(s) here. Visualise
untying the ropes and watching them all sail away.
 #3: BODY BFF ALERT!
Write down parts of Write down the year
your body that you’re when you were last
unhappy with: happy with this part:

Looking back you’ll realise that those moments of body

appreciation have always been short-lived. On the other
hand, self-criticism is constant. Our mind and body have
heard criticism longer than they’ve ever heard appreciation.
Time to change that.

Now here’s a
truth bomb: W
growth. Quite ords have an in
literally. Scienti credible impac
st s in t on
experiments w Japan conduc
here they took ted various
rice, strawberr
let them grow ies and flowers
while saying d and
ifferent words
to them.
The results sh
owed that the
heard loving w rice (or apple/
ords was still in strawberry/pla
b nt) that
days/weeks, w lo oming conditio
hile the ‘hate’ n after a few
this is the effe rice was going
ct it had on ric m ouldy and bad
e, imagine wh . If
at impact these
have on our ow words
n bodies?
 BODY POSITIVE
AFFIRMATION BANK
Now that we’ve established that words are important for our
body to feel respected and grow, pick from these affirmations:

My body is my I nourish my body I honour my body's

home, and I treat with healthy choices need for rest and
it with respect. and self-care. relaxation.

Clothes are
I release the need for My body is a
supposed to fit me,
external validation reflection of my
I’m not supposed to
of my body. unique journey.
fit clothes.

I choose to wear
I reject body-
My body takes clothes that make
shaming comments
care of me. me feel confident
and beliefs.
and comfortable.

I am allowed to
My body and I are I am letting go of
have good days
a team together. the urge to restrict.
and bad days.
 #4: WHEN IS IT OKAY
TO ASK FOR HELP?

Your friend missed a flight and they’re

feeling super angry at themselves.

Your partner is feeling anxious but they don’t

know why. Nothing happened as such .

Your sister hasn’t been feeling

productive and is stressed about how
much is on her plate.

Now tell us, in which of these situations would you want to

be there for them? Would you say it’s okay for them to reach
out to you and ask for support here?

It’s about time we hold ourselves to the same standards. If we

want our loved ones to count on us, we have to allow
ourselves the same space to do so aswell.
 Introducing the ‘Mind Bucket’

Imagine the bucket here represents

your mind’s maximum capacity to
take stress and anxiety. The taps are
letting the water (or in this case stress)
out timely, making sure the bucket is
never overflowing. So the act of
turning the taps on means extending a
hand asking for support- be it to
things, communities or people.

Remember, like the bucket overflowing, life can

often get overwhelming. It’s important to seek help
before things get to the brim.

Who are my go-to people/communities to let the water out?

Do I wait for the bucket to overflow before turning the taps on?

What stops me from turning the taps on?

If turning multiple taps on at once feels scary, can I start with

one? Which one do I feel the most comfortable with?

PS: Therapy is a great tap to open regularly.

 SECTION II:
BEING KIND TO OTHERS
 #1: BUILDING EMPATHY

Awh man, I totally get why

you’re so upset.

I hear you and I’m here for you!

I’m so sorry you had a bad day :c

How did you feel while reading that: Heard, validated and reassured right?
Well, that’s the magic of empathy. A few words, a thousand feelings - empathy
has the power to brighten someone’s day.

And trust us, it’s easy. Just three quick steps:

Perspective
Put yourself in their shoes and keep your personal biases aside.

Recognition
Consciously try to understand the emotions of the other person.

Communication
Verbalise that you recognise the emotion and are here for them.
 PUT A FINGER DOWN:
EMPATHY EDITION!

Check the box for things you’ve done:

1. Been a good listener, even during a difficult conversation.

2. Respected someone’s pronouns and identities.

3. Shared my story & vulnerabilities to reassure a friend.

4. Been an advocate for someone who couldn’t speak up.

5. Donated resources to shelters and NGO’s near me.

6. Apologised sincerely when it was my fault.

7. Forgave myself, because I’m only human.

8. Encouraged space for different viewpoints.

9. Helped someone brainstorm ideas together.

10. Dropped a text instead of ghosting after a date.

11. Shared credit with a colleague.

#2: BOUNDARIES: YAY OR NAY?
Having boundaries in relationships is a total green flag.

It’s important to be kind and respectful of your partner’s

space. Some common types of boundaries are:

Physical boundaries: “I don’t feel comfortable with

anyone touching my arms from behind.”

Sexual boundaries: “Can we take it slow and just hold

hands on this date?”

Financial boundaries: “My finances don’t allow me fancy

coffee dates often. Up for something different?”

Intellectual boundaries: “I know you mean well, but I feel

strongly about this issue and don’t appreciate jokes on it.”

Emotional boundaries: “I need a little more reassurance

on these topics, and not be labelled as needy.”

Time boundaries: “I love you but I can’t always text you

first thing every morning. That’s my ‘me’ time.”
Sit with your partner and understand what their
deal breakers are:

Boundary My dealbreaker Partner’s dealbreaker

Physical

Sexual

Financial

Intellectual

Emotional

Time

Kindness Hack
Boundaries aren’t walls.
They’re doors. You’re allowed
to open, close and stand at the
edge based on your comfort.

Gotcha Amazing!
 #4: CAN YOU DISAGREE WITH
SOMEONE AND STILL BE KIND?
Heck yeah!
We won’t beat around the bush, this one’s simple: during conflicts,
the simplest way to reach a resolution is switching to ‘I statements’.
You should definitely put your point forward. But instead of a ‘you
did this,’ go with an ‘I felt this when this happened’ and watch the
tables turn.

Let’s try this out:

I felt.... when....

A blame-free description of what

Your feelings about whatever happened. happened.

because.... Can we....

The effect it had on your values /self

/identity. What are your needs in that moment?

Example: I felt dismissed when my suggestion for movie night

was not discussed properly because it made me feel that my
opinion is not valued. Can we talk about this please?
 #4 BEING THERE FOR SOMEONE
We don’t always have an answer to ‘How are you?’
A lot of times words fail us when it comes to feelings.

Check-in with your loved ones using this fun activity:

What color is your feeling?

Where do you feel this

color in your body?

How big is your feeling?

How big is your feeling?

Does it feel like as Or as small as a

big as mountain? button?

If you could touch your feeling, how might it feel?

spikey bumpy prickly Hard

wibbly wobbly flat Swirly Soft

 PICK YOUR SLICE
He
f the lp
to th
ou alk. pr
of the
em
m w es r f
the or a sio ight ind
ke f na
Ta ouse lh
h elp
.
Have a venting

Give them
sesh with

space.
them.

Re
wa
tch and
sho thei n
w / r fav liste m.
ply the
mo our m
Si lidat e
vie ite
. va

Being there for someone can mean different things on different

days. Remind yourself to put on those empathetic shoes and
assess which slice the other person needs you to pick today.
IMPORTANT
REMINDERS:
While you’re being a kind stranger, partner
and friend to the world, remember to
extend that compassion to yourself aswell.

Being vulnerable takes strength. You don’t

have to feel guilty about it.

There’s always someone who will listen to

you. Reach out.

Kindness is and always will be sexy. Period.

Use code ‘KINDNESSISSEXY’ to

avail therapy starting at INR 295.