10 Common Thinking Traps

1. All-Or-Nothing Thinking -Seeing things in black or white categories -A situation is perfect or a total failure -Theres no in-between *Alternatives: -Consider things on a continuum, rather than in Either-Or terms -Consider degrees of improvement or decline, rather than absolute terms -Think in terms of Better or Worse, rather than Good or Bad 2. Overgeneralization -Using a single event as a sign of never-ending patterns -Using words like always or never -Making broad generalizations that everyone/everything/every time will be a certain way *Alternatives: -Remember that one event may just be one event -Things, circumstances, people may change -Remember that very few things are as absolute as always and never make us feel 3. Mental Filter -Picking out one detail and focusing exclusively on that one piece of a larger puzzle -Focusing on one piece of information and allowing all other information to slip by you -Filtering out certain information (e.g., positives) and only grabbing onto other information (e.g., negatives) *Alternatives: -Be on the lookout for other information, counter-arguments, additional evidence -Consider all pieces of the puzzle, not just the ones that come through your filter first 4. Discounting the Positive -Rejecting positive experiences by saying that they dont count -Explaining away your success instead of taking credit for it and celebrating it -Dismissing positive experiences or good work *Alternatives: -Give positive experiences just as much credit (or more!) as negative ones -Enjoy, celebrate, and feel the positive experiences -Consider evidence objectively, without skewing or weighting certain types of evidence

5. Jumping to Conclusions -Interpreting things negatively, even without the evidence to support your conclusions -Mind Reading: Without checking it out, you conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, as if you can read their mind without having them actually tell you. -Fortune Telling: Predicting that things are going to go badly in the future *Alternatives: -Acknowledge what you know and what you dont know -Consider alternative explanations or hypotheses -Treat thoughts about others and the future as guesses, rather than facts 6. Magnification -Also known as The Binocular Trick -Exaggerating the importance of problems, limitations, or shortcomings, while minimizing the importance of positive qualities, strengths, and support *Alternatives: -Pay attention to perspective -Carefully weigh all evidence, not just certain pieces of the puzzle 7. Emotional Reasoning -Assuming that negative feelings actually reflect the way things really are in the world *Examples: -If you feel hopeless, you think that means that you must actually be hopeless. -If you feel anxious about something, you think that means that it actually is dangerous. *Alternatives: -Test out your emotional thoughts with other evidence as well -Look for opportunities to balance all of your different kinds of thoughts, rather than relying on only one type of thinking 8. Should Statements -Telling yourself that things should be the way you hoped or expected them to be -Should statements directed against yourself lead to guilt and frustration for letting yourself down from the Should Standard -Should statements directed against other people or the world in general lead to anger and frustration because others cant live up to your Should Expectations -Similar statements are musts, oughts, and have tos *Alternatives: -Try replacing Should with Could -Re-evaluate what really goes on the Should List (I should take my medicine, I should pay my taxes vs. I should be perfect, People should be more polite)

9. Labeling -Labeling is an extreme form of all-or-nothing thinking where you attach a label to yourself based on one thing you did. Labeling is a thinking trap because you are not the same as what you do. *Example: -Instead of saying, I made a mistake, you attach a label: Im a loser or Im a failure -When labeling other people, you may describe them as being bad or as having a problem with their character rather than their behavior, which leaves little room for healthy communication or problem solving. *Example: -Instead of saying, I dont like how youre acting, you attach a label: Youre a jerk! *Alternatives: -Describe behaviors rather than labeling people -Consider counter-evidence before labeling (Am I really a failure because I made one mistake? Have others ever made mistakes before without being a total failure? Did anything contribute to my mistake, besides the possibility that I am just a failure?) 10. Personalization and Blame -Personalization is when you hold yourself responsible for an event that isnt totally under your control. Personalization can lead to guilt, shame, and feeling inadequate. *Example: -When a woman finds out that her daughter is having trouble in school, she tells herself, This shows what a bad mother I am! -The opposite of personalization is blame, where you blame other people or circumstances for your problems and completely overlook ways that you might be contributing to the problem. *Example: -A teenager says, I keep getting grounded because my mother is totally unreasonable! *Alternatives: -Consider how complex the world isvery few things happen totally as a result of one person or one event. -Look for other contributing factors, consider other ideas, think about all the evidence before settling on just one person to carry the blame. -Instead of being blame-focused (Who is at fault for this problem were having?), work on being solutions-focused (How can we fix this?).