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Why Is It Hard Being Honest?

This document discusses the importance and challenges of honesty. It begins by defining honesty as not just avoiding lies, but also showing respect for others through integrity and self-awareness. It then explores why honesty can be difficult, such as fearing the truth or others' judgments. Specific challenges mentioned include lying to oneself through denial or pretending to feel fine. The document also emphasizes that honesty is needed in relationships through open communication and avoiding self-interest at the expense of others. Finally, it suggests achieving honesty by understanding one's motivations for lying and practicing emotional communication with trusted individuals.

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222 views

Why Is It Hard Being Honest?

This document discusses the importance and challenges of honesty. It begins by defining honesty as not just avoiding lies, but also showing respect for others through integrity and self-awareness. It then explores why honesty can be difficult, such as fearing the truth or others' judgments. Specific challenges mentioned include lying to oneself through denial or pretending to feel fine. The document also emphasizes that honesty is needed in relationships through open communication and avoiding self-interest at the expense of others. Finally, it suggests achieving honesty by understanding one's motivations for lying and practicing emotional communication with trusted individuals.

Uploaded by

i dont care
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Why is it Hard being Honest?

In this speech, I just like to acknowledge what many people struggle with all the time. That
is Honesty. Everyday you fight to be honest with yourself. You are given a chance to pick a
healthy meal (vegetables) or the same fried chicken. You will procrastinate even though
you have the time and resources to finish the task now. We often find ourselves lying to
others and us. I’m here to let you guys know how (in some circumstances) the lies we show
to others and to ourselves can ruin their life as well as ours.

What is honesty?

I’m sure most of us already have an idea of this ever since we were very young. We’ve all
heard the saying “Honesty is the best policy.” over and over now. According to the United
Nations: Honesty, speaking and acting truthfully, is more than not lying, deceiving, stealing,
or cheating. It entails showing respect towards others and having integrity and self-
awareness. Honesty is crucial to our relationships with ourselves and others. It can help us
overcome issues, find forgiveness, and deepen our relationships with the people we love.
(Habib Sadeghi)

But Why do we have to be honest? Of course, it’s what God wants right? We lie because we
fear the truth and the pain that may come with it. That’s normal and will stay with us in our
lives

Being honest is important. We are required to be honest to ourselves and to others. If we


are not honest with ourselves then we may find it hard to be honest to others and vice
versa.

Honesty with yourself

Deep down we know when we are doing something wrong and it’s up to us to make things
right. When you are honest with yourself, you accept your weaknesses and flaws. You may
know what some of those are. You may know what you are capable of and what you aren't
capable of. With enough self-knowledge, people's judgments about you can become less
important. No one knows you more than you do.

When you are honest with yourself, you will be proud of who you are, even if you pretend
to be something that other people expect you to be. Without worrying about what others
might think of you, you will portray your true self. (Pearce)

Some examples of lying to yourself are saying "Yes" when you want to decline. Failing to
assert a boundary. Letting people direct all our actions (unless you know you are wrong).
And everytime we say we're fine but not actually.

Once we learn how to be honest with ourselves, we can now maintain honesty with others.
Honesty with others

Honesty is the foundation of any relationship. No relationship can survive without honesty.
To have a long-lasting and healthy relationship, you must ensure that you are offering the
other person the ‘true you’ as well as just telling the truth in general. Relationships thrive
when their foundations are based on two people who are honest with themselves and
each other. Obviously, if lies are the only thing coming out of you then you won’t be seen as
a genuine ‘person’.

Hence why couples commonly encounter the struggle of trust is because there is a lack of
honesty between both parties. Either they have done something bad, broke a promise or
agreement, and don't want to break it to the other. If you experience any disagreement
with them or a friend, or your mom, don’t blame them. Open communication, including
active listening, is key to nurturing honesty to anyone. It's simple yet it can be challenging
at times. Every time we opted to continue in an unhealthy relationship, a relationship with
no prospect of a healthy future… We are being dishonest.

Why is it hard being honest?

Humans are complicated beings (especially in relationships, whatever). It depends on the


Even sometimes people are “too honest” that others won’t ask for opinions. Or some lie too
much that no one would ever trust them once they tell the truth. We are hardwired to
either tell the truth or not in a given scenario. And that’s completely natural. Dishonesty is
one of the most crucial parts of one’s learning and realization. But that doesn’t necessarily
say it’s a good thing.
There are boundaries in telling the truth as well. In scenarios when we give sudden or
unsolicited criticism towards someone without them asking, it comes off as very rude. Even
if what you’re saying is true and honest to God, the person may have already heard it
before and may be working on fixing that problem. Only give a polite and diplomatic
criticism when a person asks, they will consider how they would want to be told whatever
you’re thinking about saying.

The most damaging kinds of lies tend to be those that promote your own self-interests at
the expense of others. It's rare when it's justifiable to lie about something whether or not
you don't want to hurt someone with bad news (white lie).

We are always the first victims of our lies because we have to believe them first before we
can convince others to do so. We often live in our own world of self-created lies to avoid
reality. This takes a toll on us and produces a great amount of stress that results in many
people turning to excessive use of alcohol, illicit drugs, etc. In other words, depression.

The act of deceit can lead to a decreased sense of trust. Not only can this cause
relationship difficulties, but in some situations dishonesty may also lead to a tarnished
reputation, career issues, and other social difficulties. (Threlfall, 2014)
Piling up thoughts and emotions

Another thing we suffer a lot in terms of dishonesty is we often internalize our feelings and
emotions.

It’s something stuck in us humans: When a person dies, it’s mostly the time when the loved
one will only confess their thoughts and feelings in the funeral. That would’ve been
relieving to the person if they were still alive. But unfortunately, it’s often too late. Unless
they already did and just want to repeat it for the funeral.

According to Crystal Raypole, Showing emotion can put you in a vulnerable place, and it’s
pretty normal to want to avoid exposing vulnerabilities to others. You might worry
expressing certain emotions will lead others to judge you and believe you can’t manage
your feelings. It may come from childhood trauma (i.e. lack of confidence) and bad
experiences with trust. And with that, you hide all your negative emotions (sadness, fear,
anger) as a result.

Discounting your emotions can eventually invalidate your identity and sense of self, and
prevent you from achieving personal goals. There are ways to share feelings, even negative
ones, without being rude. It helps to practice emotional communication by first opening up
to loved ones and others you trust. For example: You and your partner are
misunderstanding in terms of financial issues because one of you is not following the
agreement of sharing the money 50/50. It’s hard and if both of you never settle this issue, it
would result in internal and external outcomes.

Respectfully expressing your disappointment could encourage them to reconsider their


decision (Open communication). Pretending you don’t mind sends the message that you
accept the situation as is.
At first, They might be upset from hearing the feedback but it is for the better and they will
realize that. If not, help them realize.

How does one achieve honesty???

Now, we all want to be loved by people. With that, we must also love them back. Ever since
we were born, we have always been honest. But as time goes on, we are influenced by
people’s actions and have the knowledge of what is right and wrong.

Figure out why you lie and who you lie to. Remember to be gentle with yourself when
improving, it's a slow process. It's okay if we still make mistakes. Lose all the habits that
usually make you feel guilty. Most importantly, stop looking down on yourself. We
shouldn't compare ourselves to others.

Sources:

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/to-live-your-truth-start-by-being-honest-with-yourself
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/hiding-feelings#ways-to-stop

https://www.healthline.com/health/repressed-emotions

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/honesty

https://goop.com/wellness/mindfulness/the-truth/

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