[HM] Feast and Famine

Humour

The Wempano tribe went about their daily work of gathering berries, tending the sheep, building houses
on raised platforms, and harvesting mussels. Queen Delelalog paused her chopping down a large oak
tree to survey her subjects proudly. She breathed in deeply, inhaling the scent of dewy grass and
conifers. She took comfort knowing her tribe would thrive and proliferate in this place as they had done
for the last eleven minutes, minutes before her birth.

She wiped her brow, looking up at the clear blue sky, and noticed something she had not seen before in
her life. There was a solitary black cloud floating above. It was a curious thing, hanging lower than any
white cloud ever had. It moved rapidly back towards the Wempano village. She put down her ax and
followed the cloud.

The cloud loomed over the village and halted ominously. Delelalog watched the cloud, mouth agape,
with great concern and confusion. Without warning, a bolt shot down from the cloud. With a loud clap,
it struck one of the platforms and lit a longhouse ablaze.

“Fire!” she shouted to the villagers, “We must put out the flames!” Before any of the villagers could take
action, something even more anomalous occurred. A voice came from the sky, echoing across the land.

Go to the place where all the bunnies are, the voice commanded. Delelalog could not stop to process
the words of the voice, because the blaze was growing, endangering her people.

“Fetch the buckets and get water from the lake!” she cried out.

“Your majesty, did you hear…” said Elaimo, the berry-masher.

“No time! Fetch the water and put out the fire!”

***
Once the fire was extinguished, Delelalog called a meeting of the Council of Elders. The Elders came
from all corners of Wempania. There was Gregia, One-Eye, from the Barrens, Baro of the Foothills,
Cardis of the Eastern plains, and dearest of all to Delelalog’s heart, Amina of the Berrylands.

“This council has been called to discuss the events of the last fifteen seconds. Let the records state that
all elders are present and accounted for,” said Remon, Delelalog’s steward.

“What do we make of the black cloud, lightning strike, and command from above?” asked Delelalog.

“We all agree, your highness, that this is a sign from the gods,” croaked Gregia, tapping her walking staff
in rhythm with her words, making them carry more weight. “The question is, what to do about it?”

“The voice was surely the voice of a child, meek and plaintive,” said Delelalog.

“And who are we to deny the wisdom of children, or the wisdom of the gods?” asked Amina. She raised
her eyebrows much in the way she did when testing Delelalog in lessons when the queen was just a
princess. The queen smiled at Amina, who was almost two minutes older than her.

“Surely, we must find ‘the place where all the bunnies are’ as the Great Child has spoken. What
resources can we dedicate to such an expedition?” asked Cardis, “It could take minutes to find this
place.”

“We will need ten of our best villagers, and make two parties of 5,” said Gregia, “In the barrens, round
numbers survive the elements.”

“But even numbers can make descendents. We should plan to make a new village in this place. I say
twelve and two parties of six,” said Baro.

“Then it shall be. Two parties of six will strike out in search of the place where the bunnies are!” said
Delelalog

***
“We have been on this expedition for nearly a minute!” cried Hobrin. He had just finished a meal of
chicken and berries, and was complaining while lounging in an open field. “Three of the elders who sent
us on this mission have died, and the queen is aging, too!”

Do not speak ill of the queen, Hobrin,” said Ferik. She surveyed the plains that lie ahead of them. “Those
bunnies have to be around here somewhere.”

“You said that ten seconds ago. And fifteen seconds ago. And…” whined Hobrin

“Enough already! I know we’re getting closer. I can see more rabbit scat on the ground.”

“Oh!” yelped Hobrin, as he jumped up, searching himself for signs of bunny dung.

“Come on, this way!” Ferik said confidently, pointing toward the Boltneck Isthmus. “We’re so close
now!” Hobrin panted heavily as he tried to keep up with the nimble Ferik. She cried over her shoulder, “I
can see their red eyes now! And their white fur! We’ve found it!”

Ferik ran even faster across the isthmus and found a new peninsula, covered shore to shore with white
rabbits.

“At long last! The Great Child be good, we’ve done it!” said Hobrin. Ferik lifted the horn strapped around
her torso and blew three times.

“Now, we must finish our directive. Off with your loin cloth,” commanded Feik. Before the mating ritual
could continue, the heavens spoke once again.

Alright, sweetie, put the phone away. Time for bed. The voice was gentle and masculine.

Aww, replied the Great Child.

***

When the light came again, Delelalog woke from her slumber. She had collapsed onto the floor of the
Longhouse. Her servants were still strewn about the hallways as she stumbled from room to room.
Soon, they too began to stir.

“The gods spoke and night came to us,” said Delelalog to Amina, once she found her in the village
square.

“Yes, and the voice of a man brought night to the realm for many minutes. It preserved us for a long
while, but who knows what will come of it,” said Amina.

“What does it mean, Wiseone?” asked Delelalog.

“It means what we have always known: Men will ruin our kingdom, if we let them. They are descended
from demons, and are accursed.”

Delelalog meditated on these words, thinking of ways to stem the evil tide of men.

***

“Pass me that data chip, Brulo. I need to test the pins,” said Halsy.

“Yes, doctor,” said Brulo. He fetched the data chip and placed it in the doctor’s hand. Brulo was of great
height, and almost as wide as two men, but he was exceedingly gentle with electronics. Doctor Halsy
appreciated Brulo’s gentle nature and brutish stature. It helped her a great deal around the laboratory.
“We’re almost there, now, Brulo. These data chips will mean androids can properly pilot a spacecraft.
We’ll then be able to explore the planetary system, perhaps even the galaxy through their eyes.”

“Oh, good,” said Brulo. He did not quite understand what the doctor meant, but he was used to that.
“Perhaps we’ll find the Great Child, too.”

“Oh, come now Brulo, you can’t believe those stories, can you? Those are hours old!” said the doctor.
Right as she was about to place the data chip into the android’s motherboard, the ground beneath them
quaked violently. A voice spoke from above, as though spoken by an invisible giant; as though spoken by
a god…

Are you serious? Give me my phone! the voice of an older girl screeched. This god was angry and
wrathful. You can never touch my phone again! What even is this? Oh yeah? How do you like this…

Fire rained down from above. Bombs dropped from the sky, in an instant, the laboratory was ablaze.

“Brulo!” shouted the doctor.

“I am here!” Brulo said, as he lifted the doctor and carried her. He ran quickly, dodging flaming debris.
He reached the stairwell and slid down the banisters, barreling through the emergency exit.

The world outside was a hellscape. Thousands were dead. It only took a glance to see the world as it was
would never be the same. The very ground beneath Brulo and the doctor sank into the sea. Soon, all
that was left was a few square meters of earth. Hansly and Brulo surveyed the new waterlogged planet
around them.

“Oh what horrors, Brulo! What absolute devastation!” cried the doctor.

“What can we do now?” asked Brulo. As he asked, new ground began to appear in front of them. Within
seconds, a verdant earth appeared ahead, as far as the eye could see. Rain fell from the sky.

“We start over, Brulo. We were fools before. We started to think we were the gods. Never again,” said
the doctor, “never again.”