Chapter 1

I did not expect him to be here.

I certainly had not expected...

One autumnal day in late September that still carried inside it a little remnant of
summer.

Many days had passed since my visit in Miami.

Fifty-one days to be exact

I had returned back to my home. Resumed my life as I had left it. All the while
trying to persuade myself, whatever took place between me and Neil meant
nothing.

I was the same Candy to the one who had left for Miami.

It was just a night between us.

I am nothing of an expert in the pleasures of the flesh. But Neil was not my first
time.

Time to confess.

Terry was... my first. Yes, at that fateful visit in New York.

I won't compare them. No, I won't!

It won't be fair to compare my first time that took place years ago.

Two youths, burning with love and were only discovering each other in the
most physical way.

Awkward...

Anxious...

We had tumbled on his bed, hot and bothered, fumbled with the task of
undressing each other, trying to do everything at once, trembling fingers and
blushed cheeks, not knowing most of what we were doing. I had cried on his
chest when we finished. The experience overwhelmed me. I had crossed the line
from a girl into a woman and he had held me close and I will never forget how
it felt. His smell, the warmth of his skin and his most eyes like the tropical seas,
and the softness of his lips and the eagerness of his kisses.

In retrospect, knowing what I do now, about Susanna... we had said our

goodbye way before those damn stairs. It had been on Terry's bed that night
when our innocence burned into the ether like the candle next to his bed, the
flickering flame that made the shadows dance on the bare walls of his room.

I cherished in my heart that night with Terry and held it within it, as my most
precious memory of him.

It did not compare to a night of passion between two lonely, horny twenty
somethings.

All I want to say is regardless whether or not to count myself in the sinners of
the world, the truth is that I was not a virgin when I allowed myself that one
night with Neil.

So I used what I knew best - working my fingers to the bone - keeping myself
occupied at all times of the day, not to allow myself to think but in the dark of
the nights, the silence lay heavy on me. My mind kept replaying that night with
Neil over and over. As if wanting to punish me. Half of me was dying of guilt,
the other half was burning with desire.

Neil's name side by side with Terry's.

It was unbearable. I was driving myself mad.

I was not the same Candy and yes, it was not just nothing, that night...

In fact, if I was pressed to be honest in the most brutal way, I have to admit, I
was in turmoil. My body was in turmoil. My mind was in turmoil and I tittered
at the edge of my sanity pretending to carry on, as if nothing happened.

I had been at the back of Pony's, in our orchard picking the first apples of the
season for a pie.

The kids swarmed around me shouting within their nonstop giggles something
about my boyfriend having showed up. My heart leapt to my throat and beat
like an animal furiously trying to escape from my throat.
Boyfriend?!!

I kept holding up my apron like a hammock, full with the apples I had managed
to pick and made my way back to the house. An expensive car had been parked
outside.

The moment I stood at the kitchen door, I must had looked like I was struck by
lightning. My hands dropped to my sides as if they lost the control of movement
and the apples scattered all over the kitchen floor.

Neil...

There he was, sitting at a chair, waiting for Mr Pony to brew tea. His eyes met
with mine and I felt his stare penetrate my body, my mind. I felt as if I was
standing naked in front of him. A chill run up my spine. I remained, standing
there, for God know how long it was, without saying anything, completely
speechless.

"Deary me!" Pony turned and looked at me and the apples that were tumbling
in all directions on the kitchen floor.

Sister Lane sprung up from her chair, and started picking up the apples.

"Candy, dear!" She yelled, while I did notice the glances they shared between
them. I may had been surprised by Neil's presence there, but they were not less
intrigued.

Neil must had been enjoying that moment very much. I could tell by the sparkle
of his hazelnut eyes, how amused he looked to have provoked that reaction from
me.

"I always manage to surprise my dear Candy..." He said and grinned. "Isn't that
so, darling?"

Darling...

I knew my cheeks must have turned bright red. I felt the heat spreading all over
my face. I cursed myself. Why wasn't I a little bit more cool, relaxed, composed
even?

Ms Pony brought the tea to the table and Sister Lane had picked up the apples
with the help of the kids who had come to see what was the reason for the
commotion.
"Candy..."

I felt the tug of my skirts from one of the younger ones. "Is he your boyfriend?"

There was a second of stillness in the room, that followed the question from
Diana. A stillness so frozen as the lake we used to skate on at the middle of the
winter.

I cracked it immediately, having found my voice.

"No my love, this is Neil. He is just a friend of mine." I said to the girl and made
a few steps in.

"Practically, family..." Neil added.

I did feel he wanted to make me sweat. Turn me around on a bed of coals like a
chicken on the spit. He had achieved his goal. There and then I realised...

It wasn't just a night between me and him...

For Neil...?

It was unfinished business.

*************

Chapter 2

"Hi Neil!" I acknowledged him, striving to sound as natural as I could be.

"What on this sweet earth are you doing here?"

I took over the teapot from Ms Pony and began to serve the tea, mainly to avoid
his gaze. Under the uninterrupted scrutiny that came from the two women I
called my "mothers", I marvelled by the steadiness of my hand. Especially when
everything else inside me resembled a hurricane ravaged landscape. I knew
there would be a series of questions coming from them, once Neil had left.

"Oh! I'm back to Chicago for a few days for business, and you left so quickly
from Miami... I thought you'd stay for a few days." He said without taking his
eyes from mine.
"Well, IT IS very nice to meet you finally, Neil!" Ms Pony said. "I don't think we
had the pleasure to-"

"I know, Ms. Higgins, I apologise for never having visited Pony's before, but I
aim to change this."

I thought the tea stopped midway on my throat and I started coughing violently.
Gasping for air.

"Good heavens, Candy! What is the matter with you today?" Sister Lane said
and patted my back.

Every single word Neil said, he used for maximum effect.

"I am sorry, it was the tea..." I finally said when I regained my composure.

Where the hell did Neil know of Ms. Pony's surname?

Slowly, it was dawning on me, the extend Neil had gone to get close to me. The
thought of my life having been studied to such an extent by him made the hair
at the back of my neck to stand up.

"You know, growing up, I realise family is everything, and Candy... well, we
know each other since young children..."

A wide smile was drawn on his face. Perfect pearl white teeth and all, a full smile
that ended in him biting his bottom lip when his eyes passed from my "mothers"
to me and back to my "mothers" in a matter of seconds.

My stomach twisted. Turned into a knot.

For the love of God, get a grip on yourself, woman!

I got angry with myself. So angry, I was fuming.

So what if we had spent a night?

So what if that night played in my mind, almost every day since?

I had gone through much worse things in my life, than feeling horny for Neil.

For Neil, for heaven's sake!!! Had I stooped so low?

Whichever way, I tried to talk myself out of this, wanting to diminish his effect
on me, the truth was that...

The truth is-

He...

Having let my gaze on him linger, studying him in detail, while he was kept
occupied with questions about the hotel and life in Miami, I had to be honest.

I was bloody attracted to him. I was attracted to the man he became. The
mischievousness behind his ways, the hint of the bad boy he'd been, the one he
still was in certain areas of the intimate kind. It made me feel like life had
flooding my veins. I already had tasted that and to my dismay I was hooked. So
hooked I kept fantasising about him and me most nights since I had left Miami.

But I'd be damned if I let him know that.

He wouldn't know, he shouldn't know, I'd make sure.

As much as I hated to admit he woke the beast in me, heaven forbids, I was
prepared for committing to a thousand Hail Marys, than admit it to him. Me
and Neil was a no-go. Not now, not ever!

With newfound resolve, I sprung up like a wound up coil from my chair. I

couldn't handle this anymore. I had to sort this out with him. He turned and
looked at me, surprised.

"Neil, would you mind, coming with me for a walk? Catch up while leaving Ms.
Pony and Sister Lane get on with their chores?"

Both my "mothers" turned. "What errands?!" The question came from their lips
in unison.

"Eh... I have to do see Dr. Martin soon." I blurted out, without thinking.

"But it's Sunday!" Ms Pony said.

"At home! I need to check up on him, at home! He was feeling slightly under
the weather last time I saw him."

Any-excuse-I-could-find, to take Neil out. All I had to do was face him alone,
the two of us. Have my say and ask him to leave me be.
Neil got up. With one hand resting on his hip, he rubbed the back of his neck
with the other, looking embarrassed.

Had not appreciated how good an actor he was too.

"Well, I better get going. I had not realised. Don't want to keep you from your
work. Ms Higgins, Sister Lane, it was a pleasure." He said and stretched his
hand. Shook both the hands of my charmed mothers and in less than a couple
of minutes we were out.

I took a deep breath in.

The weather had definitely turned to autumn but it was still pleasant enough to
have my legs bare, while I wore only a light knit white cardigan over my sky
blue cotton dress with the tiny embroidered roses.

I turned and looked at Neil. I should know it, the moment we were alone, he'd
let down the formalities and the church boy attitude.

"That look of yours, sweets, really excites me..." He came close and said to me
with a side smile and a brow already raised.

I was dumbstruck.

"What look?!" I answered back to him, my blood already reaching boiling point.

He drew a circle with his index fingers pointing at me. "The whole "innocent
farm girl" look you have going in here."

I blinked not believing my ears. "Are you crazy?! This is how I am!"

"You were definitely not that, when you were in my room..."

That was it! I grabbed his arm and started marching away from the house. Soon
we were going uphill.

"Candy, I do like the abduction game." He said.

He was insane! That's what Neil was! I was certain of it. I tightened my grip
over his hand.

"Oh, shut up Neil!"

Pony's hill, as its name suggests is a hill, not a mountain, but is a rather steep
hill. By the time you reach the top, and you march at the speed I was going, you
really have to sit still for a minute to catch your breath.

That's what we both did, as we peered at Pony's home, which looked smaller
from where we were standing.

The sound of rustled leaves brought my attention back to where we were

standing. I looked at the nearby oak tree. The Father tree as I used to call it
young. The one I had climbed its branches umpteenth number of times, to the
dismay of Ms Pony.

I made my way there. Neil followed. Once, we were both standing out of view
from the house, I turned. He had already stopped walking and I met with his
eyes.

That intense stare again... the one that never failed to unsettle me. Whatever
anger I had at the bottom of the hill, it had dissipated as if it had run out of
steam in the effort to take Neil as far away from Pony's as possible.

We stood there, in silence for what it seemed a long time, with the wind ruffling
our hair, the skirt of my dress swishing and flowing round my legs. I felt I was
trembling and it wasn't the fresh air that blew on my bare calves.

"We are far enough here." I began to say. It was time to put a stop to this.

"Why did you leave like chased?" Neil interrupted me.

I looked at him with my eyes wide.

"I didn't leave like chased!"

"You could have fooled me." He said and came closer.

"Ok then, if you want to talk about this, why did you act as if I was not there,
then?" I responded in turn, and took a few steps back.

"When?" He asked me.

"At the photograph session."

The distance between us became smaller.

"Seriously? Do you want my sister on our backs, Candy?"

I did not answer to that. He was right. Just the thought of Eliza knowing what
had taken place between Neil and I, certainly felt like a nightmare I did not
want to experience.

"Then, why are you here?"

"I warned you, I won't be able to stop at a kiss..."

"Or a night..."

He kept taking steps towards me and I kept retreating, till I stopped moving. My
back was up against the Father tree. There was no more room for me to move.

All my senses were on alert. I was short of breath and my heart drummed so
hard against my chest. Neil realised the effect he had on me. The glimmer
inside his eyes told me so. He relished it.

"I am hungry for you, Candy." His voice resembled a growl while he dragged
his finger down my cheek. Stopped at my chin. Held my gaze imprisoned inside
his.

"I missed you..." He said to me, his voice having turned quieter, deeper.

"Neil..."

I closed my eyes, not being able to bear any more of this situation.

Neil certainly did not beat around the bush. Cocky, confident, straight to the
point, he made clear of his intentions and he made me hate myself for feeling
my resolve weakened.

"You have haunted me since that night, Candy."

He was so near, I felt his breath on my cheek. I moved my hands, put them on
his chest. Wanting to keep a semblance of distance between us. Not that made
much difference. I felt my whole body on fire.

"You've crawled under my skin and I'm unable to-"

His lips grazed my neck.

"I don't even want to-"

His words followed the kisses he started tracing my neck with.

"Tell me, you didn't think of that night, even once..."

Another kiss. My heart had climbed in my mouth.

My No became my

"Yes..."

I felt a pause and I opened my eyes. His eyes burned with want but I could tell
that my reply surprised him.

*************

Chapter 3
"We are far enough here." I began to say. It was time to put a stop to this.

"Why did you leave like chased from the hotel?" Neil interrupted me.

I looked at him with my eyes wide.

"I didn't leave like chased!"

"You could have fooled me." He said and came closer.

"Ok, if you want to talk about this, why did you act as if I was not there?" I
responded in turn, and took a few steps back.

Two could play the "complaining" game. His stand had annoyed me more than
anything else that day, after the night we had spent.

"When?" He asked me.

"At the photograph session."

The distance between us became smaller.

"Seriously?! Do you want my sister on our backs, Candy?"

I did not answer to that. He was right. Just the thought of Eliza knowing what
had taken place between Neil and I, certainly felt like a nightmare I did not
want to experience.

"Why are you here, then!?"

"I warned you, I won't be able to stop at a kiss..."

One more step.

"Or a night..."

He kept walking towards me and I kept retreating, till I stopped moving. My

back was up against the Father tree. There was no more room for me to move.

All my senses were on alert. I was short of breath and my heart drummed so
hard against my chest. Neil realised the effect he had on me. The glimmer
inside his eyes told me so. He relished it.

"I am hungry for you, Candy." His admission resembled a growl while he
dragged his finger down my cheek. Stopped at my chin. Held my gaze
imprisoned inside his.

"I missed you..."

"Neil..."

I closed my eyes, not being able to bear any more of this situation. Neil certainly
did not beat around the bush. Cocky, confident, straight to the point, he made
clear of his intentions and he made me hate myself for feeling my resolve
weakened.

"You have haunted me since that night, Candy." He said to me, his voice
having turned quieter, deeper.

He was near, so near, his breath lay warm on my cheek. I moved my hands, put
them on his chest. Wanting to keep a semblance of distance between us. Not
that made much difference. I felt my whole body on fire.
"You have crawled under my skin and I'm unable to-"

His lips grazed my neck.

"I don't even want to-"

His words followed the kisses he started tracing my neck with.

"Tell me, you didn't think of that night, even once..."

Another kiss. My heart had climbed in my mouth.

My No became my

"Yes..."

I felt a pause and I opened my eyes. His eyes burned with want but I could tell
that my reply surprised him.

"Yes, what...?" He asked me and I dry swallowed with images from the nights
flashing in front of my eyes as if we were there.

"Yes, I thought of that night..." I said, the words crawled out of my throat. I
could imagine them burning the moment they left my lips.

"How many times...?" He pressed me further, his attention having shifted to his
thumb rubbing my bottom lip, wetting its tip with the moistness of my mouth.

I could not believe the power this man had over my senses. I felt my eyes
burning up with desire. I shut them close once more. I could self-combust right
there and then but it was only the beginning, of what was to follow.

"Don't stop tell me..." He said, prompting me to share with him the anguish that
was eating me from the inside out for the last two months almost.

"A lot... a lot of times... every night..." I said between my sighs.

"Mmmm, that's my girl..." I heard him say before he shut my lips with his.

I said his name, before his tongue invaded my mouth. This time, compared with
that night in Miami, he was more daring, more confident. He came to take what
he considered his own. What I had denied him. He sucked my breath and my
soul, while I was squeezed by the weight of his body on mine, pinned back
against the Father tree. Our clothes did not stop me, to feel the heat radiating
from his wide chest. I wrapped my hands over his bare neck, and I allowed the
tips of my fingers to crawl inside his soft hair which had turned dark blonde
almost by the Florida sun.

Without stopping his tongue assault of my mouth, he removed my hands from

his neck. He kept them inside his.

"You don't get to touch." He whispered, his voice hoarse from the kissing.

"I want to drive you insane with desire, Candy. Make you forget any other
man..."

I was melting inside just by hearing him saying those words. I wanted him. My
whole body became sensitive to his touch. Lust spread heavy and unbearable,
pleasure turned to quivers deep down in my groin. I could feel myself getting
wet. He lifted my skirt.

"Tell me... did you pleasure yourself thinking the two us together?" He said.

Had I pleasured myself...? Every single time. But I didn't not answer. I returned
the question.

"You??" I asked him, taking breaths between our kisses.

"Ha! So my not so "innocent farm girl" wants to know..." He laughed. "I haven't
had any other woman since that night, and yes... a lot."

His hands went under my skirt. I felt them at the back of my thighs, pushing me
on him. I could feel his hard on my belly. He pushed his hands under my
knickers, I could them spread against the skin of my buttocks, squeezing them,
massaging them.

I groaned hard. This wasn't happening. My body tensed against his. Not in my
wildest dreams, had I ever thought of me and Neil ever...making lov-

No, no!!

I realised where we were.

This wasn't Miami. This wasn't his private room. We were out in the open.
Under the Father tree. A shout away from Pony's home. She could sneak up
here. Or even worse, the kids...
"Neil..." I whispered. "We can't...."

I stopped the trail of his kisses on my collar bones. He didn't lift his head to look
at me however.

"Where is your sense of adventure...?" He said.

"I cannot-"

I didn't manage to say anything else. He pulled his head up and his eyes were
glazed with lust. He kissed me hard. His hand under my skirts pulled my
knickers up and I could feel the stretched fabric rubbing against my clit that was
begging to be touched. But instead of touching me himself, he teased me by
pulling my underwear, not letting me speak. I was soaking wet and he knew it. I
was losing my mind, half from desire and the other half from fear of not getting
caught. The rush of adrenaline was nothing that ever had experienced. I would
die if I was to be caught.

"Please... I beg you." I asked him.

"Begging??"

He pushed his hand between my legs. His thumb rubbed my wet clitoris. One
more hard groan escaped from my throat.

"Oh honey..." He said slowly, enjoying this immensely. "How can I stop
now...?" His expert caresses of my womanhood, pushed my body's need for
release even more.

"Do you want me to stop?" He teased me and bit his lip while watching me
suffer.

Even if I was about to scream from the lust, I wanted to orgasm like never
before but this was insane. I nodded my head. He smiled like the devil when a
third groan left my lips as he pushed his fingers up my vagina.

"OK, ok! I will stop..." He said and removed his hand. "Not before I get a taste
from your honey." He said and before I even opened my mouth to protest with
my anxiety having reached red, he had kneeled in front of me and slid my
knickers down.

"I love seeing your pussy wet for me..." He said and sucked my clitoris. I
managed to stop myself from yelling right there and then and I bit my lip so
hard. My fingers dove inside and grabbed his hair with the intensity of Neil
eating me, biting, licking, sucking, kissing my intimate region. My knees
trembled and his hands came up below to hold me to not fall.

"Let yourself come... and I'll leave you be." I heard him say. I tried to relax. He
wasn't going to go away. "But be quiet..." He added. "Don't want for Ms Pony
to come up here and find her angel being defiled."

Neil had the ability to drive me insane with lust and sick with stress at the same
time. But I couldn't back down and the whole experience had made me feel as if
I was on stimulants. Every single inch of my body screamed while he was
making love to me with his tongue. I was close. My grip on his hair intensified
and so his hold of my legs. He pushed me back on the tree and I arched my
back. The orgasm I had was nothing I had experienced before. It came in
waves, and I felt like I was convulsing with every lap of his tongue.

"Oh my God." I whispered, trying not to make a sound. He stopped and looked
at me, when he pushed his fingers inside me, making my orgasm longer than I
had anticipated. Slowly, the intensity died down and he pulled my knickers up.

He stood up and kissed me, slower this time, tender.

"I want to possess you every way possible, Candy. I want you mine, completely
mine. I want you to surrender yourself to me. I won't stop till you do, and I will
enjoy doing so..." He said slowly when we stopped.

I did not reply to this statement of his.

I was certain that my mind would not let me forget it.

I was not even sure whether I wanted to forget it. This man had turned my
whole world upside down, in such a short time, when I needed it the most to
heal.

Half of me was horrified with myself, in shame for being a slave to a hunger he
had awakened in me and I could not see any time near of this hunger
dissipating. In fact it was getting stronger, every time we would meet. I was
certain now.

We would meet again.

"When will I see you?" I asked him.

"Soon." He said with a big smile on his face. "You have a lot to keep yourself
occupied till then. I'll be in Chicago till Christmas..." He added and went in his
car.

"Come close." He ordered me. I obeyed. Gave me a kiss on my flustered cheek.

"Next time, you will learn how to pleasure me..." He whispered to my ear and
made my spine tingle with excitement just at the thought of what that would
entail.

"Later, sweets."

I heard his voice mingle with the sound of the car, he hit the accelerator and
left. I returned back in the house and rushed to my room. I still hadn't managed
to calm myself down completely.

***************

Chapter 4

Crave
/kreɪv/

verb: Feel a powerful desire for (something).

Crave...

I had to accept it. November had snuck up on us and... I had hoped by now, my
crush on Neil would have dissipated. It would have evaporated, like the warmth
of the sun. It would have turned less and less till one winter day, it would feel
like a faint caress on your cheek, rather than a blazing kiss that can burn you
with its strength.

And yet... I had been mistaken. Summer had been long past. Winter was here
and I was not cold. Every day that passed, there was a fire simmering beneath
my skin. Inside my blood.

I craved... him. I craved his touch. I craved his kisses. The passion with which
he made me his.
I squeezed my eyes shut. Leave reality behind me, and all I could see was Neil
behind my closed eyelids. Doing things to me that I couldn't even bring myself
of saying. Because if I said them out loud, they'd become real.

Real enough to make me die of shame.

I was addicted to Neil. That was my reality. I became a prisoner of his whims,
his desires, his games. Waiting for his letters, like a castaway waits for his rescue.

And I loved it. I had never felt more alive.

Each letter, a fantasy, I had to read and play in my head, alone, behind locked
doors, in the dark, with my hand between my legs, stroking...

till my body became a bow, pulled by the sound of his voice.

My breath, it flutters like the wings of a bird, trapped inside my chest.

I was alone without being able to share this with anyone. He had me inside a
spider's web I could not escape. We were alone, just the two of us.

Me and Neil...

I had not seen him in person since September. I ached, physically ached from
his absence. Absence makes the mind fantasise harder, he said. It was true.

By the time, November was almost in its last legs, and I saw a spectacular car, a
show stopping Rolls Royce Phantom outside Pony's house, I almost fainted.

Neil.

Ms Pony hurried outside with Sister Maria as with all the children too. It wasn't
every day that such a breath taking car came by our part of the woods.
Reluctantly, I ordered my legs to move and I came outside, last, with my heart
wanting to break away from my body.

But the man who came out of the car, was not Neil. It was someone unknown.
The moment my excitement turned into disappointment was instantaneous.
Like the flick of a switch. I tried to hide it.

"Miss Candice White Ardlay?" The man asked.

Ms Pony looked mightily curious.

"Who is looking for her?"

I stepped in at the front. The kids had surrounded the vehicle, leaving gasps of
admiration. To them, that car felt like Martians had descended from the sky.

"Hello, I'm Candice." I said.

"Miss Candice, I was sent by Mr Lagan to pick you up. It's the Ardley annual
charity ball in Chicago."
The two women turned and looked at me. I had completely forgotten about it. I
remember receiving the invitation and just tossing aside. I didn't even know
whether Albert would have been there. With all his travelling, I had lost the
plot, when he was in Chicago and when he was abroad. But surely, Archie and
Annie would be there.

Suddenly, I felt a warm sense of happiness. I would see my friends. We would

dance...

I HAD NOTHING TO WEAR!!

"I am sorry, It escaped my mind completely!" I exclaimed. "Having been so

busy lately with the kids and the house chores."

I wasn't lying. In my attempts to put Neil at the back of my mind, I had stepped
up and taken every single job that existed around Pony's house, the apple
orchard, our vegetable patch and our chicken coop. Keeping busy as much as I
could, tire myself, let no time empty to allow the fantasies to creep in and make
me sigh.

"Well, I am here to take you to the ball." Neil's driver said to me and smiled.

"Candy..." Ms Pony didn't see particularly supportive of this arrangement.

I looked at her and Sister Maria, standing next to her. Both women were in
agreement.

I turned to face the man once more.

"I am sorry but I really forgot and I am not at all prepared. I don't even have a
ball gown."

"Miss Candice, Mr Lagan has taken care of everything for you. He has booked
for you the best suite of the Drake Hotel for your overnight stay and he can
drive you back the next day."

When the man laid out Neil's plan, my stomach squeezed with pleasure. A night
alone with Neil. The memory of our first encounter flashed in my mind.
Butterflies, in their hundreds swarmed inside my belly.

"Ms Pony... Sister Maria, truly there is nothing to worry about. I can't pass this.
I can spend a night with Archie and Annie and ... Neil."
"Are you sure, sweetheart?" Ms Pony asked.

Both women had been properly impressed with Neil the last time he had been
here. I broke in chills of pleasure, when I remembered of our encounter under
the Father Tree. But one visit had not been enough for them to forget the
anguish he had caused me when we had been younger.

"I am, yes. It'll be good to go for one night."

"OK, if you think so." Sister Maria said. She caught of Pony's arm, a reassuring
touch. They both smiled at me. And I gave a sigh of relief.

"I am just going to be a few minutes." I turned and said to the driver.

Not long after, I was on my way to Chicago, on a night with the man who had
become my addiction.

Neil Lagan.

*************

Chapter 5

The time it took Neil's driver to reach Chicago, I spend in quiet reverie, the
contents of which I care not share.

I tried to imagine.

I tried to picture.

What this night would have in store for me. I tried to relax. Let myself fall back
on the red leather car seat while my gaze like a bird, flew past the winter
landscape of the Midwest. Soon I drifted to a sleep and I let the man I was going
to reunite with, to dictate my dreams.

We arrived in Chicago, in mid-afternoon. I was starving. And I had no idea

what to expect. So when the Rolls pulled in front of the famous and luxurious
Drake Hotel, and I had my door open by the doorman of the Drake Hotel, who
welcomed me with a wide smile and addressed me with my full name, as if
everyone expected my arrival, I was really taken back with surprise.

Something told me that Neil had indeed taken care of everything. Every single
detail.

The Drake Hotel was favoured by all the rich and famous. A list of who-is-who
had stayed there. I wondered, who's decision was to have the Ardley charity ball
there. Albert's? Or the Lagans?

It was elegant, sophisticated in its simplicity, the pinnacle of art deco luxury, its
classical Grecian style with the grand entrance, the staircase and the impeccable
marble floors and the crystal chandeliers. It felt as if I was walking inside a
temple. I followed one of the bell boys who escorted me to the reception of the
hotel. I was booked into one of the top suites of the hotel. The hotel concierge
bent over backwards when he saw me, even if I could tell he felt very surprised
by my simple appearance.

Did I have any luggage??

I gripped my single weekend bag I had with me.

Nope. No luggage...

I blushed. Felt very under-everything at that moment. Never been a polished gal
myself, one of these glamorous socialites, the party butterflies. I'm a farm girl at
heart. With a penchant for dancing.

What I was doing there, really? Came all the way there, for what? A night with
Neil?

What was happening to me?

I almost turned around. I could just run and ask for the driver to take me back
to Pony's. Just when I was about to act on myself doubts, the fact that I was
falling for him, the guy who had bullied me when we were young, and now I
could think of no one else,

What madness I was descending into, by God!

I heard a familiar voice.

"Candy!! Is that you, darling?!"

I turned.

"Annie!!!" I yelled, with a voice over enthusiastic to compensate for my

nervousness.

"Darling, did you decide to come to the ball?!"

I smiled so wide, my cheeks hurt. "Yes! In fact, I am! I did!" I said, trying to find
my words.

Calm down! I ordered myself. I took a breath while we hugged and kissed.

Annie had a puzzled look on her face. Of course she had! I looked like a peasant
that someone kidnapped and thrown right in the middle of the poshest hotel in
Chicago. My dear friend, Annie on the other hand, looked radiant. Every inch
of herself, polished to perfection. She could have been a permanent fixture of
this place. She belonged here.

"I thought, you never attended those events when Albert is on a trip." She said.
"I didn't even call to ask you."

"Well, I thought a change of scenery..." I tried to excuse myself. Before she

delved further into this soft interrogation of hers, I tried to change the subject.
"Where is Archie? You too are connected from the hip." I said and gave her
another extra wide smile.

"Oh, he'll be here soon. We booked a suite for the night, so I'm just here earlier
to start getting ready in my own pace."

"In my own pace.." For Annie, that meant of spending easily half a day,
perfecting the perfection that was her.

The concierge stopped our chat. "Miss Ardley, your top floor suite is ready, if
you want to follow me."

Annie's eyes couldn't help but become like full moons and I bit my lip.

"wow, sweet! Top floor suite!"

I chuckled but I could have been caught with my pants down for all I cared.
"Oh! You know! Albert is spoiling me as usual! He booked it for me!"

Lies are like best friends. You tell one, soon there is a whole line of them,
holding hands and I would just need to keep them all flying on the air like a
good juggler in a circus. I tried to push at the back of my mind, the future
moment when I'd have to find an excuse to say to Albert. For the time being, I
shouted to Annie from afar, while I had started walking away.

"Which room are you?"

"5112" She mouthed the number.

"I'll call you when I'm ready." I copied her mannerisms and held the imaginary
phone receiver to my ear.

She smiled. Another hotel staff member required her attention.

I breathed with relief. "That was freaking close." Nope, I was not ready to
reveal that I was Neil's guest. No way on hell, I was prepared to open that can of
worms. I decided to just go to the room and relax. I was certain, that Neil would
show up at some point. We would party, dance and then...

"Here is your room, Ms Ardley" The bell boy said to me. I thanked him,
opened my bag and gave him a tip which he took with a smile and left.

I was left speechless. The suite was beyond magnificent. I never had seen a more
beautiful, elegant, sensual... room. It took my breath away. It was like an
apartment. Its living room space was Decorated in Art Deco colours, dark
purples, gold and dark brown wood panelling. There was a long dark purple
velvet sofa, with matching armchairs and a bookcase at its back, a simple
fireplace on the side. I felt my shoes sinking inside the soft thick pile carpet.
 I closed my eyes. It was Neil's room. I could feel him, his presence. A laugh
came up my throat and I tried to push it down, putting my hand in front of my
mouth. But my eyes kept laughing.

Neil, had indeed pulled all the stops. Once more, he had managed to impress
me. A part of me, felt very flattered. I could not deny it.

All that for the girl who was once put to sleep inside the Lagan stables...

I wasn't keeping any bitterness for those years.

Eliza was...

Eliza is who she is. She cannot change. She's a bitch and I really take care to
stay away from, but Neil...

Neil, despite his faults, he's another cut from his sister. I could not hate, no, I
couldn't. Perhaps, I'm influenced by what has happened between us. Perhaps,
he has put a spell on me. Perhaps I use him too. The wound left from Terry,
Neil was doing a magnificent job of healing.

I walked further inside the suite. I entered the bedroom.

I was truly and utterly captivated. It was an equally or even more beautiful
room than the living room space. My heart was hitting hard against my chest.
There was a masculine scent of musk, leather and tobacco in the air. I took a
deep breath. I left my humble weekend bag on one of the armchairs.

I noticed a rectangular box, left on the bed. I came close. There was a card on
the box with big bold letters.

"Wear me."

I opened the box. I pulled the thin rice paper to reveal its contents. The
surprises kept coming and this one was even bigger than the suite.

I took out of the box the most exquisite undergarments I had even held in my
hands. There was a pair of deep red silk French knickers, so light and thin, they
were almost transparent. I could feel my cheeks consumed with flames. There
was a red suspender belt, silk stockings and a matching deep red silk corset
strapless brassiere.

There was an envelope also inside the box. I opened it and sat down on the bed
to read it.
"For my eyes only, babe. See you soon."

The blood pumped in my veins, spiked with adrenaline. I had never worn such
undergarments in my life. I wanted to hide away and yet to feel desired in such
an open way, to the verge of indecent made this gesture incredibly electrifying. I
found myself wanting to try them on with him looking. Make him lose his mind
just as he had stolen mine. I remembered the last time we parted ways. His last
words, burning my skin as he leaned and whispered in my ear.

"Next time, you will learn how to please me."

I slowly took my clothes off. Each garment that I put on the bed, made my heart
beat faster. I was going to have shower first and went in the bathroom. Thick,
lush bathrobes were hanging on the wall. The suite had been so luxurious, I did
not expect the bathroom to disappoint me. The shower room was to die for.

You can tell, I come from the countryside. Showers for us are a thing of
necessity, painfully cold with a duration as short as you can hold your breath
under the ice cold water of the rudimentary shower cubicle we have built in
Pony's.
I went inside the shower room. Turned on the taps and let a sigh of pleasure. I
welcomed the warm water run on my bare skin. My initial anxiety was melting
away. I took my time and washed my hair and lathered my body with an orange
fragranced soap, that smelled divine.

All my muscles were relaxing. The bathroom had started looking like one of
those Turkish baths, hot and steamy. The glass doors o f the shower had fogged
up. I could hardly see anything beyond them. The smell of orange blossoms
saturated the moist air.

I could have used to have something like this every day.

I had turned back to face the water coming down from the big shower head up
above me and to start rinsing the soap lather from my body when I heard the
shower door opening. Immediately having a panic, I turned-

"Hi babe." Neil said and shut me up from saying anything else, occupying my
lips, my mouth, my senses, absolutely and completely, having pinned me to the
wall while he was fully clothed, his pristine white shirt and dark blue trousers
getting soaked as he was getting busy with me. He grabbed my waist and I
jumped on him without thinking, embraced his waist with my legs, my naked
body glued on his chest. He pushed his hand in my hair at the nape of my neck,
his other circling around my waist, holding me on his and under the shower
stream.

"I missed you." He whispered next to my cheek between the kisses.

I tried to unbutton his wet shirt who had become like a second skin on his chest,
and I wasn't doing a great job, I was trembling so much.

"Rip the damn thing." He said to me, almost like an order and I obeyed without
questions asked.

I held his shirt tight in my fists and pulled it with force. Buttons flew everywhere
and I heard his thick laugh.

"That's my girl." He said. I didn't respond. Instead my lips were busy kissing his
broad tanned chest. I wanted to feel his skin on mine so badly. I tried to come
closer, my hard nipples were rubbing against him. Trails of water coming down
his sternum, his abs.

Oh my God, this man makes me so horny, I can die right there and then.

I could feel his erection rubbing against my crotch.

He let me down. Asked me to undress him while he took the ripped shirt off
and threw it on the floor. "Someone was very happy to see me." He said to me
and bit his lips. I unbuckled his belt, unzipped his trousers and knelt in front of
him as I pulled his trousers down. I was in love with his toned thighs, strong and
muscular.

Neil took my hand and put it on top of his hardened erection. I traced its length
with the palm of my hand over his boxers. He groaned.

"Remember what you promised last time...?"

I nodded. Part of me was very nervous.

"It's your turn to pleasure your man, babe."

I pulled his boxer shorts down. I had seen his member before and from what I
had experienced so far, without a doubt Neil did not only know how to use it to
pleasure a woman, its size and circumcised shape was perfect in every way too.

"I am assuming this is your first time...?" He asked me, his gaze on my face
burned.

I nodded affirmatively again.

"Take the head in your mouth..." He said to me softly, "There is nothing to

worry about, Candy, just don't bite it off, babes, be sweet with it. He loves you
very much." He added between his laughing. I chuckled too and then I put it in
my mouth. It was hard and smooth and I was very careful.

"Think of it as an ice cream, play it around with your tongue."

I obeyed.

To think of Neil's hard on as an ice cream was easy. My tongue went around
the head and I pushed further up its length. "Pull it back with your hand, babe."
Neil was teaching me how to take head. I did exactly as he asked and I took
more of him in my mouth, pulled the skin back with my hand and he tensed
under my beginner's touch. He let a deep groan. He kept looking at me, having
my mouth full with him and I could tell he liked it. I wanted to make him dizzy
with desire, I wanted to be sexy for him, to make him lose control, to make Neil
mine.

"You will turn me a mad man, love." He said.

Whether I was the only woman in Neil's life at that moment, actually I had no
idea but I very much wanted it so. I wanted him to be completely into me,
literally and figuratively. Soon I had lost all nervousness and was getting aroused
by feeling Neil's reactions, by the effect I had on him. I was sucking him hard,
feeling him with my lips, my tongue. I could feel his erection twitching.

"Stop." I heard him say, almost without a breath. He pulled me up. Had my
arms gripped by his hands, his eyes fixed on mine. Their colour had darkened,
his gaze blazing with desire. "Are you sure, you never have done that before?"
He said slowly with a wicked smile.

"Of course not!"

He grabbed my buttocks and lifted me in the air. My legs crossed, locked myself
around his waist and he pushed himself inside me. I was more than ready to
receive him. I let a cry of pleasure. "You must be a natural then..." He said and
bit my bottom lip. I felt his tongue passing on it.

"It's my turn now." He said softly, before he pinned me to the wall.

Whether there was any control between us up t that point, we lost it after that.
He started moving inside me, deep... deeper... as deep as he could get, and I dug
my nails on his back, feeling him, filling me completely. Had me opening up to
him. Giving him everything. Every bit of myself to Neil. Water drops sprayed
everywhere. He pushed with his hand, the strands of wet hair off from my face,
rubbed my lips with his thumb, before pushing it inside my wet mouth. I sucked
it while he was banging me. Our eyes locked to each other. My swollen clit was
rubbing against his groin. I had lost my mind at that point...

"You are mine, Candy." He said. His moves intensified, became faster, harder.
"Your pussy is mine, your breasts are mine, your ass is mine, those sinful lips are
mine, even your damn freckles."

I didn't respond. I didn't need to. I let myself moan with every thrust of his, he
brought me closer to the edge I begged to be thrown from. I wanted to
experience everything with Neil. He was that kind of guy. And I stopped feeling
ashamed to admit it. Me and Neil had become an item, whatever the
consequences were. When I came, feeling myself contracting around his hard
cock, I felt complete inside his arms.

"Only if you're mine too Neil." I said breathless.

He let me know of his answer with a deep, burning kiss and while I was still on
him and him inside me, he took me to the bedroom, leaving a trail of water
behind us.

*************