Using Parallel Structures and Fixing Sentence Problems (Bread eee of Gaza, lorant Parallelism specially when you.are list ism means that each item pattern, If you are writing & the following items as noswns wonts; ifit is an adverts iparison fallox list andl the first your lis alsa. Ifthe first ten clause, make all the others adverb elaus: 79180 Part 11 | Sentence Structure ooo i In the examples that follow, the sentences in the column on the right fotlow the rule of parallelism. ‘Not Parallel Parattel >My English conversation cassis made up-af Chinese, | My English conversation Glass Is made up of Spaniaras, and some sre wom Boersa, Chinese, Spaniards, anc Bosnians (The items aro of noers) ‘The studeris who do well stiend class, they do their | The siudents who do well attend class, do thelr homework, end practice speaking in English. homework, and practice speaking in English (The tems are ait verbs + complements) ' | The teartior wanted tor know which country we carne — | The teachor wanted to know which country we came (ora and our future goals, from and what aur future geala were, (The stares are both noun clauses.) The language skis of tha students in tha evening ‘The language skills of the students in the evening: classes ara he sare asthe day Ohssrs, classesare the some a the language shils ofthe students in the day etsgses, (Pieters are Roth run pase) Notes 1, You may substitme a pronoun for the second “the language skills” in the last example: ‘The language skils of the stucients in the evening classes are the same as those of tho students in tha day classes. 2. All the. words in the first item do not always have tp be repeated in the second. You may repeat all or some of the words, depending on what you wish to emphasize. The following sentences are both correct: Before you write a paper or before you take a test. you must organize yout thoughts. Before you write a paper or take a test, you must organize your thoughts. Parallelism © Words, phrases, und clauses thot are joined by and, or, and bur are written in parallel with form, Notice the parallel structures joined by coordinators in the following sentences. Coordinators: Tha Fadoral Ar Poltion Control Adminisvaton requiates automchile exhaust, Be, Oe, eat and tha Federal Aviation Acminiirtion maka similar regulations tor creat. “Tha States reguiate the ncise created by miolor vehicles but ot by ecermetcia strat. Pesticides cannot be soid if thay have a harmful effect on humans, en snimal ite, oF 00. the environmentChapter H | Using Parallel Structures and Fixing Sentence Problems 181 Parallelism Use parallel forms with the paired conjunctions both .. and, either... or with netther ... nor, and nat only , , . Bur alse, Correlative Paired conjunctions are placed directly before the elements they join in the sen- (Paired) tence, Notice the parallel structures in these clauses joined by paired conjunctions: Conjunctions A ‘A new tow provides the means for both regulating pasticities and ordering thelr removal I they are clangorous, Ar pollutants may come either from the ocean as natural contaminants olven off {ay-s2a life or ftom the interne! combustion engines of automobiles. neither industry nor the nublio works toward reducing pallution problema, future generatiorss wil suffer. Many people are neither concasned about pollutants nor yeorried about thelr futuie impact ‘At the present time, sir pollution is controled through laws passed not only ia ‘eduice the pollutants ot thelr sourens but alsa to net up noceptable standards of al quality. = ‘Two or more items in cach of the following sentences are written in parallel ‘grammatical form, Underline the iterns or ideas that are parallel, and circle the word or words that connect the parallel structures, The first one has been done for you es an example, 1. An ideal environment for studying includes good lighting, » spacions desk. @® s comfortable chair 2, You know you are truly Ouent i another language when you can calculate jim it and when you begin to dream in it 3, People often spend ax much time worrying about the future as pla for it. 4, You can Jear a second language in the classroom, at home, or ina country where the language is spoken. 5. My new personal computer is both fast and reliable. 6, My old typewriter is neither fast nor reliable, 7, Ann is growing older but unfortunately not wiser, 8. Young people buy computers not only to de schoolwork but also te play eames 9, {f industrial nations continue to burn fossil fuels and if developing nations continue to burn their rain forests, the level of CO, in the atmosphere will continue to increase. 10; Before the judge announced the punishment, he asked the murderer if he wanted (0 speak either to the victim's family or to the jury The criminal neither admitted guilt nor asked for forgiveness before: he vas Se0% to prison.182, Part Ul | Sentence Structure: B. Rewrite the following seatences in parallel form. Underline the part of the sentence that is not parallel and correct it, Remember that you do not have to sepeat all the words in the second item. The first ont has been done for you as en example. 1. The disadvantages of using. credit card are overspending and you pay high imerest rates. 2. Credit cards aie accepted by department stores, airlines, and they ¢an be: used in Some gas stations. 3. You do not need to risk carrying cash or to risk to miss a sate, 4. With credit cards, you can either pay your bill with one check, or you can stretch out your payments. 5. You can charge both at restavronts and when you stey at hotels. 6. Many people carry not only credit cards but they also carry cash, 7. Many people want neither to pay off their balance monthly mor do they like paying interest. 8. Not making any payment or to send in only the minimum payment every month is poor money management,Chapter 1 | Using Parallel Structures and Fixing Sentenice Problems 183 C. Ona separate sheet of paper, write seven original sentences in parallel form, using the following conjunctions one time each. Write sentences on the topies suggested, or choose topics of your awn. and ‘wo weekend activities you enjoy or two foods you would not eat/give to a baby bt ‘one schoo! subject thal you excel at and one that you struggle with both ... and {wo advantages of being bilingual sither...0r two places you might spend a month's vacation or a baneymoon neither... nor two places you would never spend a month's vacation or a boneymoon not only ... butalso two reasons to get a college degree Sentence Problems Sentence To comer In this Section, you will leam to Fecognize and correct Some common errors in Sentence structure: sentence fragments and choppy, run-on, and “stringy” sentences, Sentence fragments are incomplete sentences or parts of sentences. Remember that complete semtcuce must contain at least one main or independent clause. ‘Stuily the following examples of sentence fragments and the suggested methods for correcting them, 1. Because some students work part-time whe taking a ful load of classes. This is @ dependent clause, It begins with a subordinator (because), It does not express a complete thought hecauise there is no independent Clause. (1) Add an independent ctause. Because some students work part-time while taking 2 full load of courses, they have very little free time. (2) Delete the subordinatar (becouse). Soma students work partir ‘while taking a full load of classes,184 Part Mt | Sentence Structure 2, For exemple, the incrmase in the cost of renting an apartment, To lve and work for at leest 6 year In a foreign country. Prone Neither sentence hus a verb. Teecomecr Reprrite each sentence so that it has a verb, For exampla, the increase in tha cost of renting an apartment is one reasan for more people being homeless. To live and work for at least a year in foreign country has always been my dream, 3. Teachers who give too much homework. Prowee This is a noun (teachers) + in adjective clause (whe give 100 much homework). The noun is the beginning of an indepenclent clause that Was never finished ‘econo Finish the independent clause. Teachers who give too much homework are unpoputar. Aloinys check your own writing for sentence fragments. Pay particular sttention to senterices beginning with subordinators (although, since, Because, if, before, and 80 on). These are DANGER WORDS! Make sure that every clause beginning with these Words is attached to an independent clause, ‘A. Read the following sentences. Mark them Frag. if they aie sentence fragments, ‘or Comp, if they are complete sentences. On a separate sheet of paper, rewrite each ftagment to make a complete sentence. Sentence Fragments 1. The desire of all humankind to Live in pesee-and freedom, for example: 2. Second, a fact that men are physically stronger than women, 3. The best movie I save last year. 4. Tiranie was the most financially successful movie ever made, ‘worldwide 5. For example, many students have part-time jobs. 6. Although people want to betieve that all men are created equal. 7. Finding a suitable marriage partner is a challenging task 8. Many of my friends who did not have the opportunity to goto college. 9. Working during: the morning and attending classes during the afternoon, 10, Because 1 do not feel that grades in eollege have any value, 11. A tsunarni thal occurred in the Indian Ocean in December 2004, killing more than 200,000 peaple. 12, The total energy of the tsunami waves was about five megatons of TNT. 13, More than twice the total explosive energy used during all of ‘World War IT, including two atomic bombs, according to one expert.Grapter M1 | Using Parallel Structures and Fixing Sentence Problems 185 14, Evidence that the wave reached a height of 80 feet (24 meters) when coming ashore along the coastline and rose to 100 feet (30 meters) in some areas when traveling inland. 15. Despite a lag of up ta several hours between the earthquake and tsunami, nearly all of the victims were taken completely by sumprise. B. Read the following short essay. Put brackets { J anound any sentence fragments you find and marke them Frag. ‘Then correet the fragments on a separate sheet of paper. Women Drivers 1 Ssxiom! extends oven into the area of automobile driving, it seams. Believing thet they are far better drivers than women. Men consider waren drivers incompetent, inattentive, and even dangerous behind the wheel, 2 However, statistics prove that women are, in fact, safer drivers than mon. For example, insurance rates, Insurance rates for worten are 20 péicent lower than they are for man. Another proof is that more accidents are caused by male drivars between the ages: af 18 and 26 than by any other group. dlso, the greater Percentage of accidents Involving deaths caused by men, Athough women are criticized for being too cautious. They are really just being sufa drivers, 2 The reasens-for women drivers’ safor driving habits can perhaps be found in the differing attitudes of the sexes toward automobiles. On the ong hand, wornen, ‘rivers who regard the automobile as a convenionce. Like a washing machine, j (On tha other hand, men regard tho automobip as an extension of their agas, Using i as a weapon when they feel particularly aggressive, Or using it as @ status symbol, 4 Allin all, women are sater drivers. Because of their atituds. Men can lear tobecome sale drivers. Wf they adopt the attitude that an autemobite is menaty a i Choppy Choppy sentences are seutences that are too short, Short sentences can be effective Sentences im ceriain situations. For instance, when you want (o make an impact, use & short semence. Buspito countless doctors! warnings, news stories, and magazine articles ‘about the importance of eating @ nutritious, belanced diet, many people resist developing heaithy eating habits. Some peopl just lke junk food. WA sentence of 25 words is followed by one of 6 words, The second sentence nas ‘greater impact because Its 80 short.) "Sean: roen's belie in rae supssirity186 Port M1 | Sentence Structure However, overuse of short sentences is considered poor style in academic writing, ‘Choppy sentences are easy to correct. Just combine two or three short sentences to make one compound or complex settence. Your decision to make a compound. or ‘a complex sentence should he based on whether the ideas én the short sentences tre equal or whether one idea is dependent on the other, 1. Ifthe sentences express equal ideas, use coordination to combine them, ‘Gnome santeness ‘Wind is an enduring source ot power, Water is also an untinited energy source. Dams produce kycrauiic power. Thay have existed for a long time, ‘Windenils ave alatively new, Consscreo Both wind and water are enduring sources of power: Dams have produced hydraulic power for @ long time, but windrrlls are relatively new. 2, Ththe sentences express unequal ideas, that is, if one sentence expresses aa less important idea than the other, use subordination to combine them. Corer sennenees ‘We must find new sournes af energy. Natural source of energy are ‘decreasing, Soiar energy Is a promising new source of energy. Solar enemy ls anergy from the sun, Conese ‘We must find new sources of energy because natural sources of eneray are deindiing. Solar energy, which is enerny from the sun, is promising new cource, (EEE rove the Following choppy sentences by combining them, Rewriting Choppy Step 1 Decide what the relationship berween the sentences is. seneey * Do they express equal ideas? If yes, write a compound sentence, ‘Both sentences present the main idea Similar or equal idea and Negative equal idea nor Opposite iden ‘out Alternative possibility or Surprising continuation yet Expected result 50 Reason for + Is one idea more important than another idea’? If yes, go on to Steps ‘Zand 3 and write a complex sentence, the independent clause, ‘Step 3 Then decide what the relationship of other sentences to the main idea ’s and choose a subordinator that expresses that relationship. Time when, after, as soon as, and so.en Reason ‘because, since, or a5 Contrast although, whereas, and so on Descriptive information who, which, that, and #0 onChapter 1 | Using Parallel Structures and Fixing Sentence Problems 187 "The first one has been done for you as an example. As you Cin see from the exam= pic, there may be more than one way t combine the sentences. 4. (aj Gasoline became expansive. (b) Auiomobile manufacturers bagan to produce sinaller Cars. (c) Smaller cars use less gaaoSne, sega Koreas? Main idea’ jentence (b) Relationships: ssentente (a) could be time (eH) oF reason (because), Sentence (©) could be reason because) or ‘etive jlormation (whizh). Combined sentence: When guenline became mone expensive autemabile mansiacterers began te preduce smaller cats becouse. ther une lean ads. on Becouse gasaline became mere expensive, automobile manulacturets began te precuce emailer care, which useless qosoing, 2, (0) Electric cars are powered solely by balers. 0b) The new hybrid vehicles switch betiveon electricity and gasoline. Equal / Not equal? ‘Main idea? Relationship: Combined sentence: 8. (a) Government and private agencies have spent billions of dollars advertising the dangers of smoking. (b) The number of smokers is stil increasing, Equal / Not equal’? ‘Main idee? a Relationship: ss a es ee tee ‘Combined sentence: 4, (@) Some students oo to a vasatianal school to fear a trade. (3) Somme students go to college to eam a deates. Equal / Not equal? Main idea? a ee ee Relationship: SS Combined sentence: - =Run-On Sentences and Comma Splices ruvow cous smu Ul | Sentence Structure 6. (a) The gracing system st our college should bs abolished. (b) The students do not Ike getting grades. () The instructors do nat enjoy giving graces. Equal / Not equal? Mair idea? — Relationship: Combined sentence: ___ 6, (2) Education in a feo society teaches childran how to think. (b) Education in dictatorship teaches children what to think, Egual / Not equal? Main idea? Relationship: Combined semtence: ‘A runson sentence is a sentence in which two ar more independent clauses are written one after another with no punctuation, A similar error happens when two independent clauses are incorrectly joined by a comma without a coordinating conjunction. This kind of error is called « comma splice. My family went to Austfalia then thay emigrated to Canada, My family went to Australia, then they emigrated to Canada, ‘The ways (0 correct these two sentence errors are the same. 1. Add a period: [My family went to Australia. Then thay emigreted to Canada. 2. Add a semicolon: My family went to Australia; then they emigrated to Canada. 3. Add a coordinator: Dy family went to Australta, and then thay emigrated to Canada, 4. Add « subordinator: (My family went 4a Australis before they emigrated to Canada. ‘After my family went to Australia, they emigrated to Canada. acc tN A el nd aid ASE asin necroSplice Sentences Chapter M1 | Using Parallel Structures and Fixing Sentence Problems 189 A, Correct the following run-on/comma splice sentences using the method indicated, 1. A newly arrived international student faces several challenges, for example, he of she has to cope with a new culture. A Adib panioeiss ne b. Add a semicolon: 2, New York City is very cosmopolitan, people from many cultures and ethnic groups live there. a. Add a periods b, Adda semicolon: c. Add a subordinator: d. Add a coordinator: 3. Learning a new language is like: leaming to swim it takes a lot of practice, ‘Add a coordinator; 4, Ask for assistance at the reference desk in the library, a librarian is always on duty. Add a semic S. Skiing is a dangerous sport you can easily break your leg or your neck. ‘Add a subondinator: B. Some of the following sentences are run-ous or comma splices, and some are correct. Check cach sentence. If itis incorrect, write RO or CS in the space a the left If itis comect, leave the space blank, Then, on a separate sheet of per, correct the incorrect Sentences. —RO__ 1. Two Letters arrived on Monday a third one came on Wednesday. ‘Too letters arrived on Monday. a third one came an Wedetetoy. 2. An eneyclapedia is a valuable source of information it contains summaries of every area of knowledge, _______ 5. Because of the rapid expansion of human knowledge, itis difficute ta keep encyclopedias current, 4. A printed encyclopedia becomes aut of date almost as soon, as it is published also it is quite expensive to purchase. 5, Online encyclopedias are available to everyone with aceess to the Intemet._____ 6, Articles in encyclopedias are written by experts in each subject, who are often university professors 7. Am editor of an encyclopedia does not write articles he only collects and edits articles written by subject experts. 8, To find a book on a certain subject, you used 10 look in a card catalog, to find « magazine article on a subject, you used to Took in a periodical index, Now, most libraries have thrown away their card catalogs, they have computerized catalogs that are mich mare efficient to use and update, 10. Many periodical indexes, which list only titles of magazine attictes ancl indicate where to find them, have been replaced by ‘compuier indexes, some of which display abstracts! and even entire articles instantly. |. Lf you cannot find any information on a subject, you can always ask a fibrarian to help you, they are paid 10 assist swaclents ©. Locate the run-on/comma splice sentences in the following paragraphs. Mark them by writing RO or CS above them, Then, on a separate sheet of paper, rewrite both paragraphs, correcting the mistakes that you found. There are four erro. "Teachers at Stone Mountain State College give highar gradios than teachers ‘at 12 of the 19 othor collages in the state college systom, according to a recent report (rom the State Institutional Research Commnitiee. 2 This report showed that more than one-third of the undergraduate grades anarded in the spring semester 2005 viere A's only 1.1 percent were F's. 3The percentage of As awardod to Graduate students was even higher, simost two-thias were A's, “nine students may be happy to receive high grates, evidence suagests ‘thet this trend is having negative consequances, Sinvestigation of tho admissions etter of some graduate and professional schools indicates that the admissions ‘offices of these schoots ate discounting high grades on the transcripts of SMSC students, this moans that an A from SMSC: is not equal to an A from ether universities, “Grad inilation may; therefore, hurt a student from Stone Mountain Stale College who intends to apply to a graduate or professional schoo! he oF she may net be accepted despite a high grade point average, stringy sentence is u sentence with too many clauses, usually connected with and, but, £0, and sometimes becwese, 1 often results from writing the. way you speak, going on and on like a sizing without an end, ‘To conect a stringy sentence, divide it and/or recombine the elauses, retmetnibor- ing to subordinate when sppropriate. ‘strat insnicn Peviteras scr yp which darn wideStringy Sentences Chapter | Using Paratlet Structures and Fixing Sentence Problems 197 Many students attend classes ail morning, and then they work all aftemoon, and they atso have to study at night, 20 they aro ueually axhaxsstod by the weekend. ‘Many students attend classes all morning and work all afternoon. Sino they also awe to study at night, they are usually exhausted by the weekend, on Because many students attend classes all moming, work all atteroon, and study at night, they are usually exhausted by the weekend Improve these stringy sentences, 1, He enrolled in an intermediate calculus class, but he found it too easy, so ‘he dropped it, and he signed up for the advanced class. 2. Farvt-born children in a family often have more responsibility shan thoie younger siblings, and they feel pressure 16 set a good example; so they often become superachievers, 3. Last-born children, on the other hand, often have little responsibility, and they muy be pampered as the “baby” of the funily, but they are the smallest, and they have to get people to like them, so they often develop superior sacial skills: 4, The students in my engineering class could not do the homework, so we got together and worked for several hours, and we finally solved all the problems. 5. The lack of rainfall has caused a severe water shortage, so people have t0 conserve water every day, and they also have to think of new ways to reuse water, but the situation is improving. ‘These are the important points covered in this chapter. 1. Paratielism ‘Two or more items joined by coordinating conjunctions and paired conjunctions ust be parallel in structure, The same is true of contrasts and comparisons of items. If the: first item 4s 8 noun, make all others nouns; if it is @ phrase, make all the others phrases; if itis a clause, make all the others clauses. n192 Part I | Sentence Structure se BE i) ‘Not Paraltol Parallal Taking a class on a pass/fail asi Taking a class on a pasaall basis 3 ‘esometmos better than to get i sometimes hotter than getting 4 a grade ot C. a grade of C. 4 My grandmother not only speaks My grandmother not ory speaks four languages but alsa she four languages but also under understands she others, stands six others, 2. Sentence Problems: The main kinds of problem sentences that students muy write are fragments, run-ons, comma splices, choppy, ancl stringy sentences. ‘Fragments are incomplete sentences. Fragment, Conectod ‘The subject | enjoyed the most The subject | enjoyed the most in high in righ soho school was physics. ‘Run-ons and comma splices are incorrectly joined independent clauses, easier Canta hie Run-On Corrected i Getting manied Is easy staying Getting marred Is easy, but staying married is another mattoe mmanied ie another matter Comma Splice i Getting meried ls easy, staying Although getting married Is easy, staying rmaied i anether mattor. marred ie another matter Choppy sentences are seniences that are:to0 short visa itis Choppy Corested My family left our homeland, Then After my family left our horneland, we we Inved in a refuges camp. Vike lived in @ refuges camp for saveral lived there for several months. months. As 2000 as we got our Then we got our documents. We documents, we traveled ta Canada, traveled to Canada. We live where we live now, there now. Stringy sentences are sentences with too many independent clauses, stingy Gomected (My family eit our homeland, and After my family laft-aur homeland, we wo lived in a refuges camp for lived in a refuiges camp for sewer several months, but fnaly we got months, AB soon as we got our our documents, So: wa traveled to documents, we traveled to Canada, | Canada, and we live there now. where we live now,Chapter H | Using Parallel Structures and Fixing Sentence Problems 193 Editing Practice Bait the following paragraphs for errors in parallel strucwre und other sentence problems. Identify the problem sentences and correct them. Rewrite the paragraphs ‘on a separate sheet of paper, (Note: Not every sentence has a problem.) The United States: Melting Pot or Salad Bow!? "Tha United States counts its population every 10 years, and each census? reveals that the racial and ethnic mix is changing dramatically, so by the year 2060, the “average” person In the United States will not be descended from? Europeans, but the majarity of U.S. residents will trace their ancestry" to Arica, ‘Asia, the Hispanic work, tha Pacific tslandi, or the Middle East, “Once the United States was a microoosm of European natlonaities, today the United States is a microcosm of the world, "The Lnited States is no longer considered ‘2 “melting pot” society by many of its residents. Instead, many people prefer the term “salad bowl" *Thay use this term ta describe U.S. society. “U.S. society will 800n ba predominantly nonwhite. ?*Metting pot” implies that the different ethnic groups blend together inta one Nomogeneous mixture, “salad bow!” implies that rrationalities, ia the ingredients: in a mixed! green saiad, rata thelr cultural Kdanttesa. Earlier generations of immigrants beieved that they had to fearn English ‘quickly not anty to survive but élso for suosess, *Now. many immigrant groups do not fool the same nood. '"Because thera are many places in the United States ‘where you can work, shop, get medical care, marry, civorce, and da without ‘knowring English. '*For exampie, Chinatown in San Francisco and New York. Also, Los Angeles has many Vietnamese Immigrants and immigrants trom Mexico. *3in addition, many immigrant groups want their chidren to know ther own culture. “®any Hispanics, for instance, want their chiidran to lam both English and study the Spanigh language in achoot. They are fighting for the fight to bilingual education in many communitis. ‘Sin many communities they are in the majority, censas:popalaion cout be dexcended from be th chilies, granite, ete Sncostry: pera! uke ‘tmierocasr: srl] crmreunely represening a lage ane