Advance Montessori Education Center of Isabela, Inc.

Maligaya, Tumauini, Isabela

Email: [email protected]

Personal Development S
Quarter 2
Learners Module 3-4 H
(October 25-November 5,2021)
Name: ___________________________________ S
S.Y. 2021-2022
Grade and Section: ___________________________________

I. OVERVIEW
In this lesson, the students are expected to understand the personal relationships among Adolescence. This
will also test their critical thinking ability as they answer all the activities given as they go deeper to the lesson. Different
mind enhancers are also being provided to boost higher order thinking skills.

II. LESSONS AND COVERAGE

Learning Competencies:
 defines the concept of interpersonal attraction and intimacy;
 differentiates the concept of love and commitment; and
 appreciates the qualities of healthy relationship through the given activity.
III. LEARNING GOALS AND TARGETS
1. What is love and commitment?
2. What are the qualities of a healthy relationship?
IV. LESSON PROPER
Understanding Interpersonal Attraction and Intimacy

“Love isn't something natural. Rather it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith, and the overcoming of narcissism. It
isn't a feeling, it is a practice.”
-Erich Fromm
Motivational Activity:
Directions: List the reasons what makes you attract and what you look for a long term relationship. Write your answers
in the two
columns provided.

What you find attractive What you look for in a long term

LIKING AND ATTRACTION

There are several factors that lead to friendship and attraction between two people:
1. Proximity – Refers to geographical nearness and the best predictor of whether two people are friends. More than,
frequent interaction allows people to explore similarities and sense one another’s liking. Even just the
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 anticipation of interaction boosts liking. More exposure is the tendency of something to be more likeable
after someone has been repeatedly exposed to it.
2. Physical attractiveness – Whether we like it or not, attractiveness is a good predictor of how frequently someone
dates. The matching phenomenon occurs when people tend to choose someone whose attractiveness
roughly matches their own, but in cases when someone is less attractive, the latter often compensates with
other qualities. The physical attractiveness stereotype is the assumption that physically attractive people
other desirable traits. Studies show that there is some truth to this, in that attractive people were found to
be more outgoing and self-confident because they are valued and favoured. Therefore, it is simply not
about how you look but rather, how people treat you and how you feel about yourself.
Studies have shown that we also likable people as attractive. Look back to a time when you developed a crush on
someone. Maybe as you grew to like them, their physical imperfections weren’t so noticeable. Discovering similarities
with someone also makes them more attractive. Furthermore, the more in love people are, the more physically attractive
they find someone, and less attractive they find all others.
This begs the question, do opposites really attract? Complementarity, or the tendency of two people to complete
what is missing in the other, may develop as a relationship progresses. But people are more likely to be attracted to and
marry those whose needs and personalities are similar to theirs.
LOVE AND COMMITMENT
Love, as you probably already know, is more complex than liking someone. Psychologist Robert Sternberg views
love as a triangle with three components:
1. Intimacy – Feelings of closeness and connectedness in relationships, which include experienced happiness, high
regard, and mutual understanding.
2. Passion – Feelings of romance, physical attraction, and sexual arousal in a relationship.
The passion component is closely tied to the intimacy component; for instance, passion may develop
immediately, and it is only after a while that intimacy develops. In short, passion may draw two people into a
relationship, but intimacy sustains the closeness. This can also work the other way around, such as when two close
friends develop physical attraction towards each other that wasn’t immediately there.
3. Decision/Commitment – This consists of two aspects: short-term or the decision to love someone else, and long-
term or the commitment to maintain that love. This component is essential for getting through hard times in
relationship.
Which component do you think is important in a relationship?
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________

The interrelationships of these three components gives rise to different kinds of love.

Kind of Love Description

Nonlove The absence of all three components and pertains to casual, everyday
interactions that do not include love it all.
Liking Refers to feelings of friendship, such as closeness, bonded-ness, and warmth. It involves only
the intimacy component.
Infatuated love “Love at first sight” by experiencing passionate arousal without the intimacy and the
decision/commitment components. These can arise quickly, and dissipate just as immediately.
Empty love This kind of love arises when someone is committed to loving someone, but both the intimacy
and passion components are absent. It is found in stagnant relationships that have been going
on for years, but have lost physical attraction and emotional involvement they once had.
Romantic love A combination of the intimacy and passion components. Put simply, it is liking and being
physically attracted to someone. When intense, passionate love becomes lukewarm, this
triggers disillusion, especially for those who believe romantic love is essential for a marriage
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 and its continuation.
Companionate love Evolves from combination of the intimacy and decision/commitment components. Unlike the
wild emotions of passionate love, companionate love is a deep, steady, and affectionate
attachment that is just as real. This is often seen in stable, long term marriages and can last a
lifetime.
Fatuous love A combination of the passion and decision/commitment components, and often manifest in
whirlwind romances. Commitment is made based on passion, but the relationship isn’t stable
because there is no intimacy (i.e., they have nothing in common).
Consummate love A full combination of all three components, and the kind of love many of us aspire for in
romantic relationships. Maintaining this kind of love is more difficult than achieving it.

A majority of adults exhibits secure attachment or an attachment rooted in trust that sustains relationships in
time of conflict. Other adults exhibit avoidant attachment (i.e., resistance to being close to others), and they have a
tendency to be less invested in relationships and more likely to leave them. Insecure attachment is marked by anxiety
or ambivalence, wherein individuals are less trusting and fearful of a partner’s interest in someone else, thus making then
more possessive and jealous. These attachment styles lay the foundation for future relationships.
The equality principle of attraction states that the outcome people receive from a relationship is proportional to
what they each put into it. Those in an enduring relationship eventually stop keeping track of how much they are giving
and getting. Self-disclosure is being able to reveal intimate aspects of oneself to others, as often seen in deep,
companionate relationships. The disclosure reciprocity effect is the tendency to match the self-disclosure of one’s
partner. In short, letting ourselves be known as we are nurtures love.
Love does not always last. The end of relationships is usually a sequence of events that begin with focusing on
the loss of a partner, followed by deep sadness, and eventually, detachment or letting go of the old and focusing on
someone new.
When relationship suffer, those who are invested or without better alternatives seek different ways of coping with
the relationship, including: loyalty (waiting for the relationship to improve), neglect (ignoring the partner and letting the
relationship deteriorate), or voice (taking active steps to improve the relationship through discussing problems and
attempting to change). Couples with healthy marriages still undergo conflict but the difference is that have an ability to
reconcile differences and restrain criticism and put-downs.
During adolescence, teenagers such as yourself naturally feel romance. Because this is an emotion that is so
powerful, it can fool anyone into thinking that they and their significant other are in a healthier relationship that it
actually is. Maybe this is why, as the old adage says, love is blind.
There are seven qualities of a healthy relationship:
1. Mutual respect – You and your significant other should respect each other’s likes as well as your dislikes. They
should be into you for you, and vice-versa.
2. Trust – Jealousy is a natural feeling, but what is important is how you or your significant other react to it.
3. Honesty – This goes hand-in-hand with trust. You and your significant other should be honest; if one is caught
lying, trust is no longer there.
4. Support – A great boyfriend or girlfriend would support you in both good times and in bad, as well as push you
to be the best version of yourself that you can be.
5. Fairness/Equality – In your relationship, are you the giver or the taker? A great relationship consists of
understanding, compromise, and balance.
6. Separate identities – You and your boyfriend and girlfriend should be two separate people with two separate two
identities that you together both respect and maintain. If you lose yourself in a relationship, it is an unhealthy one.
7. Good communication – This is most important aspect of a healthy relationship. You and your significant other
should be able to communicate your issues openly and effectively.
Activity: Answer me!
Directions: Read the following statements below. Identify the concept that is being asked. Write your answer in the
space
provided before the number.
_________1. The attachment style involving trust.
_________2. The attribution to internal causes.

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_________3. The component of love that is essential for getting through difficult times in a relationship.
_________4. The expectation that people we helped will also help us.
_________5. The extent to which control is perceived.
_________6. The feeling of putting ourselves in another person’s shoes.
_________7. The kind of aggression that is a means to an end.
_________8. The kind of love that is both intimate as well as committed.
_________9. The overall sense of self-worth.
_________10. The phenomenon wherein beliefs sustain despite contrary evidence.

Activity: Answer me!

Directions: Write an essay that answers the question “Which real-life couple embodies an ideal relationship?”

References: Perez, A. H (2016) Personal Development (pages 105-109)

NOTE: For further clarification/s about the lesson you may contact the teacher at 0915-174-9443.

Prepared by: Checked by: Recommending Approval:

MARIE M. ALLAUIGAN APPLE L. SIAGAN JUDELYN P. DAMAGAN

Subject Teacher Subject Coordinator Head, SHS Department

Approved by: Noted by:

JERIC T. VALDEZ NELIA Z-ANGULUAN, PhD

Principal Director

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