Personal Development

Quarter 2 – Module 17:

Teen-age Relationships
Including the Acceptable
and Unacceptable Expressions
of Attractions

1
 What I Need to Know

This module is designed and written to help you understand the concept of
relationships and family that is broad and varies from person to person. A
relationship experience is unique to all individuals but is viewed universally as a
state of connectedness that it mostly emotional in its sense. This state of close
connection between people becomes personal relationships formed by bonds and
interactions that often grow from and are strengthened by mutual experiences.
This lesson will give an idea on how to build a happier and more fruitful
relationship with others by understanding the problems people are facing and by
developing friendly relationship through effective and loving connections.
The content of this lesson is about Teen-age Relationships including the
acceptable and unacceptable expressions of attractions.

After going through this module, you are expected to:

1. Understand teen-age relationships, including the acceptable and
unacceptable expressions of attractions.
1.1. Define relationships;
1.2. Enumerate acceptable and unacceptable expressions of attractions

7
 What I Know

A. Write True if the statement is correct and write False if the statement is not
correct. Write your answer on a separate sheet of paper.

_______1. Attraction is a force that unite people.

_______2. Affection is one of human beings' greatest emotions.

_______3. Infatuation is love without engagement or intimacy.
_______4. People differ in what they consider attractive.

_______5. Relationship is a one-way traffic.

_______6. Personal Relationship is a form of relationship closely linked to a
person and which can only be important to that person.

_______7. Affection is one of the qualities in a relationship that everyone

looks for.

_______8. According to research study, people differ in what they consider

attractive, and cultural influences on attractiveness.

_______9. Ladies with broad shoulders and a small waist are not attractive
to men.
_______10. Intimacy is a sharing of details, emotions, and intimate thoughts

B. Write Yes if the statement is correct and write No if the statement is not
correct.

______11. Filipino culture is bound to believe that a decent display of

someone's feeling is also a must, to be accepted by society;

______12. Macoi has leadership and work skills but does not have good
looks. Is it attractive to ladies?

______13. Majelyn dictates to her boyfriend how to dress up

and what to eat. Is this a controlling issue?

______14. Is “Love” one of the three components of a healthy

relationship according to Sternberg?

______15 Is cheating one of the unacceptable issues in any relationship?

8
Lesson
Understanding Personal
17 Relationships
Relationship

It is said that every kind of relationship is a two-way traffic which means

that all parties should learn how to give and take. There are different forms of
relationships and each of us has a clear description for each of these forms. We
certainly have our own ways of creating and improving these relationships.

Let us try to define each one of them.

In this lesson, you will be able to understand what personal relationship really
is. Personal relationship is practically the kind of relationship that we have with
our families, friends, and partners in life. This definition also applies to our
relationship with those people who are significant to us.

9
 What’s In

ACTIVITY: Picture Analysis

1. Do you remember someone who has caused you to lose self-control? In
building personal relationships you might encounter difficulties or conflicts
that might lead you to anger or frustration. Describe the pictures below and
write your reaction/observation on the opposite side of the box.

10
 Process Questions:

1. What are the pictures all about?

2. What did you feel after you wrote your reaction/observation to the images?
3. Have you experienced this kind of scenario before? If so, how did you
deal with it? If not yet, how will you react to this kind of situation?

What’s New

Read the poem below and answer the questions that follow.

PURPOSE OF AFFECTION
By: Jessica V. Durante

Loving is sharing life with each other,

In order to create special plans for only two,
Standing side by side, then smiling with pride,
Dreams, one by one, all come true.

To love is to help and nurture,

With smiles and honest words of advice,
In order to take the time to share,
To attend to and to feel for
In tender, sweet and gentle shapes

Love is about getting someone special,

One you can always count on
Being together over the years,
Sharing both happiness and sadness,
As a partner, and a friend

Love is the creation of memories that are special.

Of the times you cherish pondering,
And all the amazing things relationship-sharing promises
Love is the greatest of all,

I discovered the full meaning

Of giving and of providing
Making all of my dreams come true;
I have found the true essence of affection
By just being with you and loving you.

Process Questions:
1. After reading the poem, what did you feel? Why?
2. What does the writer want to tell about the line "Love is the greatest of all"?

11
3. How would you express affection to your loved ones if you were the author? (You
may write a poem of your own.)

What Is It

Affection is one of human beings' greatest emotions. There is a lot of passion, but
more are conveyed in an intimate partnership with a compatible partner. Romantic
attachments are one of the most important aspects of life for these people, and a source
of tremendous fulfilment. However, the will to create a human link seems innate, which
develops our ability to build a healthy and loving relationship. Some suggest that early
childhood begins to develop the capacity to create a healthy relationship with a nanny
who regularly satisfies the child's food, treatment, comfort, protection, stimulation,
and social interaction needs. Such partnerships are not destinies, but are
hypothesized to establish deeply embedded relationship patterns with others. The end
of a relationship is however also a source of significant mental trauma.

WHAT IS PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP?

PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP- is a form of relationship closely linked to a
person and which can only be important to that person.

KINDS OF PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP

o PRIVACY and INTIMACY- are two attributes describing personal relationships
and level of commitment to another person/s

o IMPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP- commitment to an organization like a business

entity, a principle or purpose.
o ATTRACTION- it is a force that unites people and can grow into an attachment
which eventually leads to commitment.

Everybody knows when they go into a room packed with friendly faces, and
while they seem open and able to speak, there is only one face standing out from the
crowd. There may be a lot of people in the room who are physically attractive, but you
do not seem to keep your eyes away from one person.

Here are some of the attractions you need to remember:

1. PHYSICAL ATTRACTION IS BASED ON INSTINCT

12
 Most people would claim that they are attracted to someone after a few
seconds of their first encounter. April Masini, who also gives ABC Entertainment
News relation advice, wrote books like Date Out of Your League, suggests that
females are naturally attracted to men who exude affection and passion and seem
to live a fascinating life. Heterosexuals tend to be attracted to men with
traditionally masculine features including muscle body, square jaw, straight
nose, and narrow eyes, physically or emotionally. These physical properties often
include higher testosterone levels, common among "alpha males." Alpha males
display a particular personality trait, including directness, determination, and
power.

2. PHYSICAL ATTRACTION DOES NOT NECESSARILY LEAD TO A GOOD

RELATIONSHIP

The first physical attraction is a very poor indicator, according to Dr.

Margaret Paul, an expert in relationship who has a Ph.D. in psychology, about
how well a relationship performs that can lead to a feeling about abandonment.

3. PLATONIC ATTRACTION IS IMPORTANT

You also consider how trustworthy he or she seems to be and how loving
he or she is, in addition to how physically attractive your future partner is. Is he
calling, for instance, when he says he's going? Does she answer the phone if you
call her? Is he going to find little things and compliments? When you talk about
movies or sports you like, does she even listen to you? The building block of deep
emotional links are also common interests.

Having a common family history may also be helpful. Aaron Ben-Ze'ev, a

professor of philosophy and author of The Subtlety of Emotion, suggests that your
relationship may benefit from physical proximity, living close to your interest in
love. Believe it or not, it seems that simply living in the same city or neighborhood
makes people experience more platonic attractions with each other.

4. THE UNATTAINABLE IS ATTRACTIVE

We just want something that cannot be achieved. According to Helen

Fisher, Ph.D., Professor at the Rutgers Department of Anthropology and Chief
Scientific Advisor to the Chemistry online dating service, it will still be attractive
to someone we consider "out-of-the-league" because they are ideal. As a way to
force ourselves to strengthen both our body appearance and our social status, we
could be producing these frustrating crushes. At the same time, loving yourself
and being patient is the most important thing, because it is impossible to
genuinely love someone else without loving yourself first.

ATTRACTION
Proximity and similarity contribute to relationship-building, and
reciprocity and self-disclosure are critical for sustaining relationships. Yet, what
characteristics do we find attractive about a person? We don't shape relationships
with someone who lives or works in our vicinity, so how do we determine which
particular individuals we want as friends and partners? Researchers have

13
 documented several characteristics which are attractive to humans. People differ
in what they consider attractive, and cultural influences on attractiveness.
Nevertheless, research indicates that some commonly attractive characteristics
in women include wide eyes, high cheekbones, a thin jaw line, a slim build (Buss
1989), and a lower waist-to-hip ratio (Singh 1993).
Likewise, attractive features of men include being tall, having broad
shoulders, and a small waist (Buss 1989). Both men and women with high levels
of facial and body symmetry are commonly seen as more attractive than
asymmetric individuals (Fink, Neave, Manning and Grammer 2006; Penton-Voak
et al. 2001; Rikowski and Grammer 1999).
In future female partners, social characteristics that people consider
attractive include comfort, empathy, and social skills; in males, the desirable
characteristics include competence, leadership abilities, and work skills (Regan
and Berscheid 1997).
While humans want physically attractive mates, this doesn't mean we are
looking for the most attractive person possible. In fact, this observation has led
some to propose what is known as the matching hypothesis that asserts that
people tend to choose someone they see as their equal in physical attractiveness
and social desirability (Taylor et. al. 2011).

People weigh the attractiveness of a potential partner against the probability

of succeeding with that individual. If you believe you are particularly unattractive
(even if you are not), you would probably be looking for partners that are fairly
unattractive (i.e. unattractive in physical appearance or behaviour).

Typically, we love the people we make relationships with, but the sort of love
we have for our families, friends, and lovers is special. Robert Sternberg (1986)
suggested that love has three components: affection, passion, and dedication.
These three components form a triangle that distinguishes many forms of love:
this is known as the triangular love theory by Sternberg.

Love is sometimes characterized by intimacy which is the sharing of details

and emotions and intimate thoughts.

Sternberg (1986) states that a healthy relationship will have all three
components of love – intimacy, passion, and commitment – which are described
as consummate love. At different stages of life, however, different aspects of love
may prevail more. Other types of love involve affection, described as intimacy, but
not passion or commitment. Infatuation is love without engagement or intimacy.
Empty love means engagement without passion or intimacy. Companionate love,
characteristic of close friendships and family relationships, is affection and
loyalty but there is no passion. Passion and affection describe romantic love, but
no engagement. Lastly, fatuous love is characterized by passion and devotion but
no intimacy, such as a long-term sexual love affair.

14
Understanding the Acceptable and Unacceptable Means of
Expressing Attractions Toward The Opposite Sex
You have understood well the essential traits of a good relationship. This time,
allow yourself to open your mind to see the difference between acceptable and
unacceptable means of expressing attractions towards the opposite sex. In this way,
you will also have a chance to unlearn the bad practices that you have in showing
how attracted you are to someone.
Filipino society has set standards for terribly unacceptable way to demonstrate
someone's attractions against those who are practically acceptable. Perhaps you are
asking why it is important to understand and realize these things.
Filipino culture is bound to believe that a decent display of someone's feeling is
also a must to be accepted by society. It is a major disappointment that anyone who
fails to follow this standard will be classified as poorly educated by society or the
community, or how one’s parents failed at parenting.
Because of the Filipinos’ culture of decency, the Republic of the Philippines
seriously believed that the issues of people's means of expressing attractions to the
opposite sex or gender can be legally addressed. The Republic Act (RA) 11313,
otherwise known as the Safe Space Act, intentionally prohibits indecent and unlawful
acts of expression. This RA broadens the scope of the RA 7877 or the Anti-Harassment
Act of 1995. This law recognizes that sexual harassment occurs in the workplace,
education, and training environments, and penalizes persons who have authority,
influence, and moral status in those institutions who commit prohibited acts of sexual
harassment. While the Safe Space Act addresses these gaps in our legal framework
by recognizing that sexual harassment can be committed between peers. A good
example of this are: a subordinate to a superior, a student to a teacher, or a trainee
to a trainer.

What Makes a Healthy and Acceptable Expression of Attractions?

As you are happy to see and spend time with your partner, you know
that you are in a stable relationship. No partnership is ever perfect, and when basic
conflicts arise, causing tension with others, you will certainly feel that the relationship
is unstable for a moment. There are many factors that lead to the growth and
maintenance of healthy and acceptable relationships, including:
1. Mutual respect. Will he or she get to know how smart and why you are?
Will your partner listen to you when you say you are not happy doing
something and then instantly back off? Respect in a partnership means that
each partner trusts and respects the weaknesses of each other and will
never question them.
2. Trust. You talk to a classmate, and your partner wanders about. Is he going
to lose his cool, or is he going to keep walking, because he knows you are
never going to cheat on him? Often it's normal to get a little jealous; jealousy
is a common feeling. But how a person reacts when he feels jealous is what
matters. Though you trust each other, there is no guarantee that you will
have a healthy relationship.

15
 3. Honesty. This one goes hand-in - hand with confidence, because when
one of you is not honest, it is difficult to trust another. Have you ever caught
your partner in a total lie? Like when she told you that she / he was
occupied with homework, but it turned out that she / he was talking to
friends? You're going to have a lot of difficulty believing the next time she /
he says she / he has to work and the trust will be on dangerous foundations.
4. Support. It is not only in difficult times that you should be supported by
your partner. Usually, when the whole world is falling apart, we thought
that this is the only time we need support from others. Even in your best,
you still need support and when time gets tough, your significant other
should still be there. For instance, your partner should be there when you
find out that your parents are breaking apart and he/she should also rejoice
with you when you get a great score.
5. Fairness/Equality. You need to have a give and a take in your relationship.
Do you take turns deciding what kind of food to eat? Are you going out with
your friends as a partner as much as you stay out with your friends? If it is
not a fair balance, you will know. When a relationship transforms into a
power struggle, with one party trying to get his or her way all the time,
changes get really fast.
6. Separate identities. In a stable relationship, everybody has to make
compromises. But that does not mean you should have the feeling that you
are losing yourself. You both had your own lives when you started out
(families, friends, interests, hobbies, etc.) and that should not change. You
should not pretend to like something that you do not like, or give up seeing
your mates, or give up something that you love. And you should also feel
free to build new abilities or interests, make new friends, and move forward.
7. Good Communication. Are you going to speak to each other and share the
feelings that matter to you? Don't keep your emotions locked up because
you are afraid your partner does not even need to hear about it. And if you
need some time to think about something before you are ready to talk about
it, you will be provided some space by the right person to do that.

10 Things That Are Unacceptable in Any Relationship

Every relationship has its ups and downs, and we all have to compromise a little
to make them work. But if your partner consistently does the following, it might
be time to think twice.

1. Cheating
If you are in a committed, monogamous relationship, cheating should be
out of the question. Many people will say infidelity is a deal-breaker. However,
others will decide to stay with their partners after an affair, and, under the right
circumstances, it is possible to heal the relationship. If you do decide to
maintain the relationship, your partner says they will never cheat again, and
they do, it’s likely that they will continue to break your trust.

2. Putting you down

No one has the right to make you feel bad about yourself. Whether blatant
16
 or subtle, if your partner criticizes your looks, your hair, your laugh, your
intelligence, or anything, they’re not worth your time.

3. Not supporting your dreams

In a relationship, you should be each other’s cheerleaders. When you feel

discouraged, they should tell you all the things you’re doing right. If you feel
like running out of options, they should ask what he can do to help you reach
your goals.

4. Controlling

You should have a life outside of your relationship, away from your
partner. It is not their place to tell you who you can see, when you can see
them, what to eat, or how to dress. This controlling behavior can be a warning
sign of physical abuse and should be taken seriously.

5. Lack of communication

You will never be able to grow together if you don’t discuss your wants
and needs. You both need to feel comfortable openly expressing your feelings,
good and bad, otherwise you might begin to resent each other.

6. Unnecessary sacrifices

Compromise is a must in a relationship, but if you feel like you’re giving

up everything, while your significant other is sacrificing nothing, something’s
not right. Have you heard someone say they got rid of their pet because their
fiancé didn’t like cats? Or quit their job, left their family, and moved to other
places for someone who wouldn’t do the same for them? These should serve as
your red flags or warning signs that there is something wrong in how your
significant other treats you.

7. Unreliability

When your cellphone is not working, you need advice, or you’ve just had
a bad day and need a hug, do they come to your aid? If they’re not there for you
when you need them the most, think twice: why are you with them?

8. Forgetting the memorable day

There’s a stereotype that men always forget anniversaries and birthdays.

Whether that’s true or not, it’s not okay. It’s normal for something to slip our
minds, but your man (or woman) should remember those little things that are
important to you.

9. Self-destruction

Sometimes we fall for people who are in rough situations. Though it can
be difficult, it’s important to be there for your loved ones during these times and
encourage them to seek help if necessary. However, if they are engaging in
destructive behavior that is negatively affecting you, and they refuse to seek
help, you might want to consider leaving. There is only so much you can do,
and it is not your fault that they are not willing to help themselves.
10. Not caring about friends and family
17
 When you want to build a life with someone, you have to accept every
part of them, including the people they care about. Your partner not making an
effort to get to know your loved ones can cause a major strain on your
relationship.

What’s More

Activity : Situational Analysis

Identify whether the following pictures are acceptable or unacceptable

expressions of attraction. Acceptable expression of attractions is beneficial for both
parties, and unacceptable expressions of attraction displease each individual in a
relationship or even the people in the society.

Process Questions:

1. How did you categorize the acceptable and unacceptable teen-

age relationships?
2. If you are in that situation how would you react?
3. Why do we need to understand the acceptable and unacceptable
teen-age relationships?

18
 What I Have Learned

Test I. Fill in the blanks

Fill in the blanks with the correct answer to complete each sentence.
Write your answer on a separate sheet.

1. __________ ______is practically the kind of relationship that we have with our
families, friends, and partners in life.
2. _______________ is a force that unites people and can grow into an
attachment which eventually leads to commitment
3. __________________ commitment to an organization like a business entity, a
principle, or purpose.
4. __________________ means engagement without passion or intimacy.
5. People differ in what they consider attractive and cultural influences on
__________________.

Test II. Modified True or False.

Write TRUE if the statement is correct. If the statement is not correct, change the
underlined word/s with the correct answer. Write your answer in a separate
sheet of paper.

1. Physical Attraction is based on Knowledge.

2. Physical attraction does not necessarily lead to a good relationship.
3. Korean culture is bound to believe that a decent display of someone's
feeling is also a must to be accepted by society.
4. Some of the factors contributing to the formation and sustainability of
healthy and acceptable relationships are Mutual Respect, Honesty and
Good Communication.
5. Unhealthy relationship will have all three components of love-intimacy,
passion and commitment which are described as consummate love .

19
 What I Can Do

Have you experienced, or have you known someone who has

experienced the following unacceptable expression of attractions? Write your
answer on a separate sheet of paper.

a. Cheating
b. Controlling
c. Unreliability
d. Lack of communications skills

Answer table below. The situation is written on the first column. On the second
column, write the reasons why these unacceptable expressions of attractions happen;
on the third column, write the possible effects of this kind of relationship; on the fourth
column, write your reactions; and your advice on the fifth column.

SITUATION REASONS EFFECT REACTION ADVICE

1. Cheating

2. Controlling

3 Unreliability

4. Lack of
communications skills

20
 Assessment

A. Write True if the statement is correct and write False if the statement is not
correct. Write your answer on a separate sheet of paper.

_______1. Attraction is a force that unite people.

_______2. Alpha males show a specific set of personality like trait, including
directness, dedication, which strength.
_______3. Companions can go to one another in the midst of hardship.

_______4. People differ in what they consider attractive.

_______5. Relationship is a one-way traffic.

_______6. Many women claim that when they are looking for a long term
relationship partner, they are simply looking for the opposite of an alpha
male

_______7. Affection is one of the qualities in a relationship that everyone looks for.

_______8. According to research study, people differ in what they consider

attractive, and cultural influences on attractiveness.

_______9. Ladies with broad shoulders and a small waist are not attractive
to men.
_______10. Intimacy is a sharing of details, emotions and intimate thoughts

B. Write Yes if the statement is correct and write No if the statement is not correct.
______11. Filipino culture is bound to believe that a decent display of someone's
feeling is also a must, to be accepted by society;

______12. Hil has leadership and work skills but does not have good looks. Is it
attractive to ladies?

______13. Megan dictates to her boyfriend how to dress up and what to eat. Is
this a controlling issue?
______14. Is “Love” one of the three components of a healthy relationship
according to Sternberg?

______15 Is cheating unacceptable in any relationship

21
 21
Assessmen What I Have Learned What I
t A Know
A 1. Personal A
1. True Relationship 1. True
2. True 2. Attraction 2. True
3. True 3. Impersonal 3. True
4. True Relationship 4. True
5. False 4. Empty Love 5. False
6. True 5. Attractiveness 6. True
7. True B 7. True
8. True 1. Instinct 8. True
9. False 2. True 9. False
10. True 3. Filipino 10. True
B 4.True B
1.Yes 5. Healthy 1.Yes
2. Yes Relationship 2. Yes
3. Yes 3. Yes
4. No 4. No
5. Yes 5. Yes
Answer Key
line.
2. It could be in the form of a song, a quote, a hugot or pick up
goals.
1. List your expectations for your current or future relationship
Activity: Relationship Goals
Additional Activities